Furchester TV The Furchester Hotel

# La-la-la-la-la-la-la

# La-la-la-la-la-la-la

# Welcome to The Furchester Hotel

# Your room is ready for you

# Just need to get the bed

# The lamp, the desk, the rug, the sink

# A pillow for your head

# The hotel's run by monsters and staff beyond compare

# We've got the kind of service you won't find anywhere

-# So welcome

-To The Furchester

# La-la-la-la-la-la

# La-la-la-la-la-la

# Welcome! #

-ELMO GIGGLES

-# To The Furchester

# La-la-la-la-la-la La-la-la-la-la-la. #

-Dining style.

-Such a deal.

-Cookie come with every meal.

# La-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la-la

-# Here's your keys

-So check right in

# Let your furry stay begin

# Welcome to The Furchester Hotel. #

BOING, BOING, BOING

QUACKING

# La, la, la... #

Oh, thank you, Isabel. We welcome you with furry arms.

THEY QUACK

Er, oh, I'm terribly sorry, I don't speak duck.

-Oh, that's all right, we speak monster.

-Ooh.

-We learnt it from watching TV.

-Oh, we love TV

even more than we love pondweed. THEY QUACK

Ah, TV. Ooh, would you like something to eat in the dining room?

-No, thanks. We'd just like to get to our room.

-Right away. Wa-a-h.

-Of course. Phoebe, Elmo...

-Yes.

-Yes, Mum.

Could you please show Mr and Mrs Quackmore to the Paddle Suite?

-Right, Mummy.

-Elmo will take your luggage.

-Thank you.

-This way.

Here's your room, Mr and Mrs Quackmore.

THEY QUACK

ELMO LAUGHS

-Where is it?

-Must be here somewhere.

Erm, it's not behind the door.

Oh.

Erm, no, not under the couch. Wait, what are we looking for again?

-The TV, of course.

-We need a TV.

Oh, we're sorry, Mr and Mrs Quackmore, but we don't have a TV

-at The Furchester. TOGETHER:

-No TV?!

But we'll miss our favourite shows. Tonight it's Ducks Got Quacks.

Yeah, and Waddle With Ducks.

-BOTH: Wah-wak-wak, wa-a-h.

-Oh, dear.

What's all the fuss? Is it the plumbing again?

Well, we've got a problem, Dad. Our duck guests are upset -

-there's no TV in their room.

-Yeah.

-I'm sure there's an old one in the office downstairs.

-A TV?

-You have a TV? BOTH:

-Wak-wak-wak-wak.

ELMO LAUGHS

I'll be right back.

-That's not it.

-Oh, it's in here somewhere.

-Hey, lady, I'm trying to hibernate in here.

-Oh, I am so sorry.

Oh, that's not it. Oh, what's that?

-Oh, this could be it. Right.

-Oh!

-Oh, no, not quite.

-Oh, I see it, it's right at the back by the hosepipe.

-Right...

-Careful.

-Oh, it's quite large.

-Oh, be careful, darling.

-OK.

-There we are. Good as new.

-Will you be all right getting it

-up the stairs?

-Oh, yes, I'll take it up in the lift.

-Oh, right.

Right, here we go.

-Oh!

-Tea!

-Time!

THEY CHATTER

I need to take this upstairs.

Look at this! Look.

THEY SHOUT

OK, lift. There we go.

BELL RINGS

Oh, oh, no. The lift's not working.

I guess it'll have to be the stairs then.

-Is the TV here yet?

-Not yet, Mr Quackmore.

-How about we play a game whilst we wait? Duck, duck, goose?

-Meh.

-OK, how about, how about we sing a duck song?

-Yes!

Well, they both sound like fun, but it's not TV, is it?

We just want our TV. THEY QUACK

And here it is. Hah-hah!

-Oh!

-Oh!

ELMO LAUGHS

And it's ready to go. THEY CHATTER

Oh, no.

I think there might be a little problem.

If the TV's not working, then we can't watch our shows.

And we need to see our shows. That's a problem.

-It's a catastrophe!

-Yeah.

# It's more than just a slip-up or a mess-up or a mishap

# A Furchester catastrophe We need to fix it fast-rophe

# Put it in the past-rophe Let's ding the bell full blast-rophe

# Catastrophe, catastrophe What a disas-trophe

# Catastrophe, catastrophe We need to fix it fast-trophe

# Catastrophe, catastrophe Let's put it in the past-trophe

# It's a catastra, what a disaster It's a catastrophe! #

CHIMNEY HOOTS

-It doesn't have to be a catastrophe. I can fix the TV.

-ALL:

-Yeah!

THEY QUACK

-But it's going to take a while.

-Wa-a-a-agh. Wah-wah-wagh.

OK. Argh.

Oh, dear, dear, dear. How are we going to keep Mr and Mrs Quackmore

-happy until the TV's fixed?

-We'd better put

our furry heads together and think.

THEY MUTTER

Oh, I know. We could play games with them. How about hide and duck?

-Oh, or have a duck singsong.

-We already asked them to do both

-of those things, but...

-Yeah, all they want to do is watch TV.

-Yeah.

Fuzzlewubba! That gives me a monster idea.

What if we put on our own TV shows?

Welcome to Furchester TV.

-Our favourite shows will be starting now.

-Aye, and we're missing them.

-Wa-a-a-h.

-Wah.

-This is Furchester TV.

-A TV?

Oh, but will it show our favourite ducky shows?

Coming up next is... Ducks Got Quacks.

THEY QUACK

Quack, quack, quack.

-Here's a good duck joke for you...

-Oh.

-Why did the duck fly south?

-I don't know.

Because it was too far to walk?

Wah-hah-hah-hah!

I don't get it. Let's watch Waddle With Ducks.

Welcome to Waddle With Ducks. Waddle, waddle, waddle.

-BOTH:

-Quack, quack, quack.

Waddle, waddle, waddle. Quack, quack, quack.

-Everybody, now...

-Ooh, it's interactive.

BOTH DUCKS: Waddle, waddle, waddle. Wak, wak, wak.

Quick, the Quack Cooking Show's on.

-We don't know anything about cooking.

-Me got this!

Quackity-quack! Today, me, Cookie Duck,

will show you how to make cookie...

Oh, sorry, Cracker Surprise.

First, cover eyes.

Then eat cookies, me mean crackers.

-Om, nom, nom. Om, nom.

-Heh-he-he.

-He-he. Hah-ha-ha.

Nom, nom. Um nom-nom-nom-nom.

Surprise! They all gone. Quackity-quack.

I'll try that recipe when I get back to the pond.

-Eh, quick-quack it's time for Real Ducks.

-Ooh!

-Elmo love to be a real duck.

-Quack, quack, quack.

Let's swim this way.

-Look, real ducks, just like us.

-Eh, I love reality television.

Best episode ever!

Eh, let's see the end of Ducks Got Quacks.

A duck went into a restaurant and paid the bill...

No, Waddle With Ducks.

-Oh...

-BOTH:

-Waddle, waddle, waddle. Quack, quack, quack.

No, no, no, Real Ducks.

Ooh, Real Ducks.

-Elmo loves to be a real duck.

-No, Ducks Got Quacks.

Oh, that's you.

-When do ducks...

-No, Waddle With Ducks.

-Oh...

Waddle, waddle, waddle. Quack, quack, quack.

-Waddle, waddle, waddle...

-No, no, no, Real Ducks.

-Oh, Elmo can't keep up.

-Me neither.

-You've got to just choose one show.

-Please.

-Oh, no. What are we going to do?

-Well, we want to watch all the shows

-at the same time.

-We do.

Oh, OK, Phoebe and Elmo are going to need a lot more ducks for this.

-Quack.

-Oh, fuzzlewubba!

-That gives me another monster idea.

We can swap. Problem solved.

-What, you mean we can be on TV?

-Yeah.

THEY QUACK

ELMO GIGGLES

A one, a two, a one, two, three, four.

BOTH: Waddle, waddle, waddle. Wak, wak, wak. Swim, swim, swim.

Wak-wak-wak-wak.

-TV's fixed!

-Oh, thanks, Mr Fuzz, but we don't want to watch TV, do we?

-No, we don't.

-What?!

-No, we want to be on TV!

-Oh, OK.

-Five, six, seven, eight...

-Waddle, waddle, waddle.

Wak, wak, wak.

-I don't think I've seen this episode.

-It's my favourite.

-Hey, look, backstroke.

-Oh, yeah.

# You really can't be going Oh, say it isn't true

# The Furchester will never be as furry without you

# So don't check out Don't check out

# Please, please, please Please don't go

-# Don't check out

-Don't check out

# No, no, no, no, no, no, no Please, please don't check out! #

# Farewell from The Furchester Hotel! #