Alf Onnie Alex Polizzi - The Fixer

'I'm Alex Polizzi.

'I cut my teeth inside my family's international hotel empire,

'and now run a multi-million pound food business with my husband.

'Last year, I battled to save six failing family firms.'

I don't know if it's ever going to get better.

You must see some hope!

'Now, I'm ready for a fresh fight...'

Hello!

'..to save six more families on the brink of losing it all.'

-Why has it got so bad?

-Because he won't talk to me.

I feel like my dream is moving further and further away.

'But with a looming triple-dip recession,

'thousands of firms are going bust every month.'

Just in the last three months, you've lost about £3,000.

I'm really struggling.

'The stakes could not be higher.'

Where is the money coming from?!

'It's not just finance, it's family.'

Why are you walking away for?

You can't work with someone like that.

Everybody keeps pointing out, "You're the lazy one, you do nothing!"

SHE CRIES

Something is very, very wrong.

'My first challenge is an interiors company

'facing its final curtain call.'

Look! Look at this! What about this suggests that you are not chaotic?

'Will three retailing dinosaurs...'

No, no, no, no.

'..who can't agree on anything...'

-Answer me a question.

-You'll see eight.

No, you're not going to see any.

'..get dragged into the modern world...'

Shabby chic?

It's like a different language.

This is their chance either to change and prosper or to wither.

'..before the walls come tumbling down around them.'

It's been absolutely horrific.

I must have been very bad in a previous life, that's all I can say.

I'm headed to East Ham, in London,

to enter the troubled world of interiors.

A world which has seen £250 million wiped off sales in the recession.

It's no wonder the Alf Onnie curtain and blinds business

is in dire straits.

The window coverings market has been very hard-hit

by the downturn in the housing market.

For obvious reasons,

blinds and curtains are mainly sold when people move house.

'It is one of a staggering 2,000 soft furnishing firms in the UK,

'all fighting for a share of a shrinking market.'

Competition is so stiff

that a third of all curtain and fitting companies are making a loss.

Prices are being driven ceaselessly down.

It's very hard to make a profit.

To make money, you need to be on budget and bang up to date.

I often hear comments like, "You don't get shops like this any more."

So we feel that we are quite unique.

Brothers Kevin and Laurence Freedman...

Good afternoon, Alf Onnie.

..have been working in Alf Onnie for over 30 years.

And they do things the traditional way.

Just like their grandfather, Mr Alf Onnie, did 93 years ago.

We do run quite a traditional shop.

East Ham is the second poorest borough in the country.

Sales are hard to come by.

Good afternoon.

So they've piled the shelves high

to try and cater to every local's need, however unusual.

I want only one curtain...

OK.

It is a bit like going into a shoe shop and saying,

"I want to buy one shoe."

I always say to people, "We want to help you, advise you,

"as well as take your money."

But not all of the family are cut from the same cloth.

Youngest brother Jeremy hates to even set foot in the shop.

I think it's going messy.

It's literally just cheap, cheap, cheap.

And, I'll be honest, it depresses me.

He's decided to do his own thing

and has created a made-to-measure service called Freedman Interiors.

And he's very particular about the way things are done.

'I am a perfectionist.'

I do like to make sure everything's absolutely as it should be.

The pleats at the top are quite important

and they have to be in line.

I have an OCD on it.

His ideas for the business are at odds with his brothers'.

They maybe see the business going in one direction,

I see it should be going in another direction.

Stuck in their old ways.

It's very difficult to deal with.

I do have spats.

But Jeremy is...he's a bit of a law unto himself sometimes.

The brothers are at loggerheads.

And the business is running at a loss.

'There are three families' mouths to feed out of our business.'

We're always under pressure.

'Let's face it, things are tough out there.'

The business is struggling.

I haven't had a pay rise now since my son was born,

and that was nearly 12 years.

'I don't always see the light at the end of the tunnel.

'It does worry me that...'

the survival of the business.

I have just four months

to turn this struggling family business around

before the curtain comes down for good on its 93-year heritage.

Alf Onnie, established 1920.

So it's been here a while.

Very unattractively displayed.

There's blinds in the window, nets,

shutters, swags, drapes...

They doesn't seem to have any eye at all to window-dressing.

Things have moved a long way since 1920,

but I'm not sure this store has.

Hello!

BOTH: Hello!

-Alex.

-Hi, Alex, I'm Laurence. Nice to meet you.

-Nice to meet you.

-I'm Kevin, how are you?

-So nice to meet you.

And I can see already, even at a cursory glance,

there's an amazing variety of stuff here.

Yeah.

'From floor to ceiling,

'there are hundreds of cheap towels,

'rugs and mats

'distracting customers from what makes them

'nearly 90% of the money -

'curtains and blinds.'

So much stuff here.

I'm already getting a headache.

SHE CHUCKLES

'The displays lack any rhyme or reason.

'It's impossible to find anything for yourself -

'madness for a shop that relies on local footfall

'for two-thirds of its sales.'

Floor mats next to a carpet,

next to curtain tie-backs.

Slightly schizophrenic.

You would need a guide

and, preferably, a map to know your way around here.

They aren't shouting about their latest lines.

Instead, the signs just scream "Cheap".

"Doormats, floor mats, dipeddy doo,

"all very cheap

"and waiting for you."

This isn't a showroom.

It's just a storeroom, really,

that happens to be open to the public.

'The shop looks bargain basement,

'but behind the scenes, things are even worse.'

This place needs a bloody good clean and a bloody good clear-out.

There's just stuff absolutely everywhere.

Why? Just chuck it out, get rid of it.

What is in all these yellow bags?

I couldn't even call this place a rabbit warren,

cos, you know, rabbits are fairly clean and tidy.

They certainly don't foul their own nest!

Who is responsible for the complete disorder in the top stock room?

-I mean, it's like...

-It's a dumping room, you're right.

Can I say something to you slightly brutally,

which is that because there is so much schmutter everywhere,

the place is dirty.

I'm saying this quietly

because I certainly do not want to offend any of your customers

or do your business any damage,

but, you know, it needs a damn good hoover.

It does get done. The boys do it.

They do get the hoover out,

but whether they get into all the nooks and crannies...

Where once they were a profitable family firm,

they are now running at a loss of thousands.

And the mess of the shop mirrors the state of the accounts.

'Kevin is responsible for the books,

'but he can't keep on top of even the basic paperwork.'

THIS really horrifies me.

Sometimes, I'm...

Does this not just create fear and loathing in your heart?

Because I look at it and it's...

Unfortunately, I'm used to it.

Lots and lots of...

This I really do not believe in.

Bits of paperwork everywhere.

They came in two days ago. That should have been in my statements file.

A bill to pay, invoice...

Actually, an invoice which should be

in my little invoice file there, which has crept out.

-This is a possible quotation with no details on it.

-Aah!

-These are all orders.

-These have to be fitted.

Actually, where is the fitting board?

There is a fitting board here.

See, Jeremy has just got all this stuff out and left it out there.

Youngest brother Jeremy tucks himself away

from the chaos downstairs.

-Hello!

-How are you?

Now, am I right in thinking

that you spend as little time as possible in the shop?

As little time as possible,

cos I can't bare to see the way it looks.

It doesn't look neat, it doesn't look tidy,

it doesn't show off our qualities and our capabilities.

It depresses me every time I walk in here.

A third of the sales come from his tailor-made curtains,

despite their being sidelined in the shop.

What's more, it's trade that doesn't rely on the cost-conscious locals.

I'm the only one, I think, that continues to fight all the time.

I want to make much more of the made-to-measure.

But, you know, it's very difficult. My two brothers...

their habits are still very difficult to break.

So it makes... It does make me upset.

'Jeremy sounds like he's on the money.

'But just when I thought I had an ally,

'he reveals we're not as in tune as I'd hoped.'

I love doing swags and tails,

they're beautiful.

'He's obsessed with chintz!'

Nobody, but nobody does better pelmets, swags and tails than us.

This is a pair of hand-made, pinch pleat curtains,

-so that is all hand-stitched.

-Uh-huh.

And the quality of those, I think, those pleats are beautiful.

Well, you see, I find that very old-fashioned.

-OK.

-We're going to have to agree,

but I'm happy to disagree with you.

I can see the beauty in it, don't get me wrong.

Thank you very much indeed, I'll get you your change, thank you.

'This shop is old-fashioned, it's dirty,

'it's cluttered, it's disorganised.

'Paperwork is everywhere, systems are chaotic.'

They're doing themselves and their stock a great disservice

by having let things stagnate to this extent for so long.

Sales have dropped a staggering 10% in the fabric and curtain market.

If they are to survive the economic crisis,

they need a clear business strategy,

but Alf Onnie can't agree on one.

If I'm to resolve this crisis,

I need to understand the family dynamic better,

so I've come to their Shabbat or Friday night dinner.

HE SPEAKS IN HEBREW

ALL: Amen.

Good Shabbat!

But, scarily, there is a fourth voice of dissent -

Dad Brian.

Despite being semi-retired,

he still owns 50% of the business

and HE thinks they should ram even more stock into the shop.

I'm saying give people choice.

If somebody's spending a lot of money with you

and then, they say, "Oh, I didn't think of you for rugs.

"Do you sell them?"

"Of course we sell them!"

The problem with rugs is they need a big space.

Rugs can be shown in a round situation.

So it can look like a market stall...

No, definitely not!

-But that's how it is!

-No, no, no, sorry.

That's your downward thoughts, Jeremy.

-That's how the shop is now.

-No.

-It's the shop now. It's a market stall.

-Listen, the question is again the business question...

-Yeah.

Is this a good way to dilute your energies?

Should you be concentrating

on selling something that you know that you can really sell?

I don't necessarily agree with that.

I think it's an attractive...a good product, where there's no wastage.

I'm disappointed in that, cos...

I'm worried that the boys' failure to see eye to eye

is killing this business.

'I wonder it their wives, Debbie and Vanessa,

'can pinpoint the problem and give me an insight.'

The fashion of the shop hasn't changed,

it's still stuck in the ark.

It hasn't changed since the day they put it together

and I remember that day cos I was helping them to clean the shelves.

I think that they want change but they fear it,

-and that fear is just holding them back, which is natural.

-Yeah.

This is going to be painful, but it's either change or die.

My ultimate ambition is to get them

to focus more on business from outside of East Ham,

where there is money to be had.

But before that, we need to focus on the basics.

The first thing we need to tackle

is the appalling state of their shop window.

It's pretty obvious that the poor quality of their window display

is their version of commercial suicide.

To survive, they need to entice in a lot more customers.

And, basically, they're missing one of their biggest tricks.

50% of all high-street purchases are made on impulse.

But one look at this cluttered mess

would send most window-shoppers running for the hills.

To give them some fresh ideas,

I've enlisted the help of Neil Ellis

from design company PLANarama.

He's done hundreds of stunning window displays

for big-name clients like Laura Ashley and Cartier.

You've just got a few seconds to get someone's attention.

Busy streets, people passing by,

so you have to have a very clear message. It's as simple as that.

-But a lot of people get it wrong.

-Right.

-We know.

-Yes.

All of the shops on this trendy high street

carefully select a few simple props to create a desirable lifestyle

that customers can buy into.

-So very simple display.

-Yeah.

-Using the crates.

-Yeah.

And the olive wood items.

-It's very enticing. You're buying into an idea as well.

-Yeah!

So you might go in here

and just buy half a pound of cheddar or something...

-which you could get anywhere, but the fact is...

-You've got the lifestyle with it.

It's quite aspirational.

It's making us think that what we really want is this in life.

The displays are also stripped back

so that the inside of the shop can be clearly seen from the street.

How important is it to be able to see into the shop?

I think very important. You want to be invited into the store.

Each window we've seen,

the ones where you can see into the shop

have made it, I think, more enticing.

Yes, I agree with that.

Amazingly, both Kevin and Jeremy sound amenable

to doing things differently.

But if we're going to move forward, I need everyone on board,

including Dad Brian.

The probability is...

..that maybe our area won't be so effective than maybe this locality.

I'm sorry, whatever bloody area you're in,

people are aspirational.

You always want the next best thing,

you don't just want what you can have.

You're already dreaming of the time that you can have something better.

I will not let Brian scupper the momentum.

Back in East Ham, it's time to apply what they've learnt today

to their own shop.

-Can we get this stand out of the way? Can you manage it?

-Yeah.

It'll be nice to let some light and some air

into the shop and kind of let it breathe a bit.

It's making me very happy.

It's like having a Christmas present

given to me early, really.

I expected youngest brother Jeremy to get on side,

but I didn't think Kevin would be such a pushover.

Up, up and away!

Big change for us!

All these years, generations and generations

of cramming as much as you can into the windows.

It's incredibly satisfying.

Does it not look more appealing already?

-It looks much bigger as well!

-Yes!

-Much bigger!

Hi! General public, nice to see you, finally!

Once the curtains, stencilling and props are in place,

it feels like a whole new shop

with a very clear and inviting message to everyone walking past.

But one man still isn't happy.

I can see that there might be some issues with my dad.

The people in the area are not as sophisticated,

and they may feel that because we're not putting very much in the window,

we don't have very much.

Brian might be sceptical,

but the display is already making a splash with the locals.

-It's nice, it's beautiful.

-Very nice, I like it.

-Thank you.

-Even the colour.

-You like the colours?

-Yeah!

-Bring in your sizes, let us help you.

-OK.

We have a huge range of fabrics...

'I though it was very interesting

'when those potential customers came in the shop.'

However sceptical Brian is,

he saw the proof with his own eyes

that a window display like that tempts people off the street.

I might have succeeded in changing the windows,

but it's only made it even easier to see the size of my next hurdle -

the huge jumble of stock.

Right. I want you each to get three items out of the shop

that you don't think you should be stocking.

Right.

I'd love to see from each of you

what you think the shop shouldn't be about.

-I shall await your return. Yeah?

-OK!

Nearly 50% of the shelf space is piled high with sundries

that generate just one tenth of their sales.

That's economic suicide.

-Hi-de-hi!

-Ho-de-ho, darling!

'But I need the boys to agree on what to clear out.'

Fabric tablecloths.

-Mats, bedding...

-Oh, yes.

Ready-made tablecloths.

That's two in agreement on that one.

-Blankets.

-Doormats.

-Yeah.

Linens, duvet covers.

Snap!

Who is responsible for, ultimately, for these items

that you don't think should be here?

-Kevin.

-Kevin.

THEY CHUCKLE

OK.

I think the point that we've all got to remember

is if there was anything here that was flying off the shelves,

-you'd all be potty to have said, "We need to stop stocking it."

-Sure.

But, actually, you've got money tied up in stock

that isn't working for you.

Ultimately, we all know

that you have to change to survive in this world.

And especially in this climate,

when businesses are going to the wall every day of the week.

If you want to be one of the lucky ones,

then, one has to become lean, mean, fighting machine.

Getting rid of the linen lines is a small victory,

but Kevin just can't resist revisiting

one of Jeremy's great bugbears.

I have brought out another item,

but it's not one I want to get rid of - rugs.

Not specifically this one, but rugs in general.

I like the product to sell.

I think it's quite a modern item that people would...

There's a lot of wooden floors.

But whole shops just do rugs.

You'd need to fill the shop with rugs, so that you can...

I've always said, "You don't do it if you can't do it properly."

-We can't do it properly.

-I think if we had a little section

where we could display certain samples...

My argument is very simply

that you're trying to streamline.

You can't be all things to all men.

And who's going to take them?

What I... I mean, the only... Uh...obviously...

'Rugs account for only 1% of sales,

'so arguing to expand them is madness!

'If these bickering brothers can't even agree on that,

'Alf Onnie is doomed.'

And just when I thought things couldn't get any more difficult,

disaster strikes.

MUSIC FROM PSHYCO PLAYS

Alf Onnie has fallen prey to a plague of rats

and they've chewed through the entire building's electrics.

TELEPHONE RINGS

Alf Onnie.

I must have been very bad in a previous life, that's all I can say.

Yeah, it seems like two asteroids have collided.

HE SIGHS

The last week's been absolutely horrific.

When we suddenly realised

that all the electrics are failing in the shop...

HE SIGHS

Big stress.

The rat people came in and they spent nearly four and a half, five hours

filling all the different holes that they could find.

And then, just as we were about to finish,

I saw one rat walking from the back of the shop

across one of the shelves

and back down the back of the till.

So we're by no means finished,

we still have a big way and a long way to go.

Finances were bad before,

but, with a clean-up bill running into tens of thousands,

the family is now really on the brink.

With every penny precious,

they're forced to keep trading amongst the mess.

SHE COUGHS

Oh, dear.

I'm sorry.

I will get it for you, but this emergency's delayed things.

-Sorry about that.

-No problem.

Please treat this as a matter of urgency, it's...

You know, we are in a terrible state here.

With less than three months left for me to help their business,

this catastrophe is a major blow.

But it does provide me with an opportunity

to launch a new business plan.

I want them to expand their made-to-measure service

to include large commercial premises.

Hotels and schools can offer contracts

worth hundreds of thousands of pounds.

'This could be vital for their survival,

'removing an over-reliance on the local budget buyers.

'To start them off, I've pulled a favour

'from the most exacting design director I know - my mother.'

Afternoon, dear! Very well!

'One of her responsibilities is signing off contracts for curtains

'across the whole of our multi-million-pound hotel chain.

'But would she be prepared to sign up the Alf Onnie boys?'

I want to see whether they can compete on price,

I want to see if they've got the patter.

I want to show them too what contemporary design is like.

A little bit of nervousness, I guess. I'm a little bit...

Yeah. I mean, it's not like the normal hotels down the Romford Road!

THEY CHUCKLE

So...

This is a pretty standard room.

All our hotels, we do the look that suits the country

that the hotel's in.

-Right.

-So this is supposed to be quite English,

but not too pompous.

'Guests pay thousands of pounds a night for the top suites,

'so it's essential to focus on style

'to create that elegant five-star feel.'

But curtain-nerd Jeremy has got all het up

about some very minor details.

These are certainly not hand-made.

That's just chain-stitched.

-What? What don't you like?

-Puddled!

-Puddled!

-That's not puddled!

It is puddled!

Oh!

None of it is weighted.

I've never ever made a pair of made-to-measure curtains

where I haven't put weights in.

I think that'll be like almost, you know, sort of cheaping myself.

-Do you know what I mean?

-Oh, my God, darling!

I'm going to whore you out now!

Well, he's very particular in the way he likes things to be done.

I don't know that your temperament could take doing 130 bedrooms.

Oh, no!

SHE LAUGHS

Darling, it might drive you to the brink of almost breakdown,

you'd be in a terrible state.

'I'm beginning to think bringing Jeremy

'to pitch for business to my mother may not have been such a good idea.'

You have to understand is not quite the same as doing someone's house.

Of course, it has to be bloody good quality, it has to be good

and it has to last, mainly.

But, you know, having a conniption cos it's not bloody weighted...

Ultimately, he just needs to find out

what Mum wants and tell her that he can deliver it.

Mum.

Please allow me to introduce you to Kevin and Jeremy Freedman.

-Hello.

-Hello.

-My mother, Olga Polizzi.

-Hi, nice to see you.

Come and sit down, Mum.

Alex of course has told you that we're not into fussy curtains

and you've seen what we've got here, really simple.

This is sort of a Victorian hotel

and it had really heavy curtains.

It felt as if you were going to be eaten up by them.

That's the kind of curtains he likes.

THEY LAUGH

Despite Mum's clear guidelines,

Jeremy still thinks he can impress her

with his most lavish swags and tails.

I bought this system in

about 15, 20 years ago.

I believe it's the best swag and tail system that you can buy.

It hangs, it drapes very nicely.

-And it's also...

-On Velcro.

-On Velcro.

You know, they're not a cheap item,

but we do, we do make beautiful swags and tails.

OK.

Blabbering on about an antiquated style in a modern hotel

will not win over clients like my mother.

'I'm worried that Jeremy might not be the driver for change

'I'd initially hoped.

'Maybe Kevin can do better with the price.'

Uh... 3,419.50.

I mean, it's not cheap, but it's not top whack.

So it's a sort of in-between price.

'Neither the price nor the styling have hit the mark

'and the Alf Onnie offering is looking distinctly lacklustre.'

They're obviously very proud of what they do and they do it well

and what they've done is good quality.

But it's not something that I would...

You know, if I saw their work,

I probably wouldn't go to them for curtains, because...

-It's very old-fashioned.

-It's very, very old-fashioned.

You know, this is the sort of hotel, a Victorian hotel

that could...take swags and tails

and we've got some very high windows...

And yet, even here, we haven't done them.

And it's, it's also the materials they're using.

I know, they're ghastly! They've got brocade.

You know, brocade is out.

-Dead!

-Yeah.

I shall tell them you said so.

'Alf Onnie might have 93 years of heritage,

'but that's no excuse to continue on in the dark ages.

'And I've got just less than three months left

'before I relaunch this business to the public.'

They are well behind the curve.

I mean, much of the design of the last 20, 30 years

seems to have entirely passed them by.

They really can't afford just to bury their heads in the sand

and just keep on going as they have been.

Cos, otherwise, Alf Onnie is, honestly,

just going to remain a footnote in history.

The time has come to tackle the fact

that you're not very au fait with current trends.

I think you're,

you're slightly verging on the unfashionable.

I hate to say this, and wound you deeply.

-I'd like to ask you a question.

-Yeah.

Where do you get your information about

that we are out of fashion, I suppose?

Well, I... By seeing the kind of stuff that you produce, I suppose.

Jeremy has to be aware of the trends currently in demand

if he's to win commercial contracts.

I think we can first put the tiny little side table on

and then we can bring through the orange mirror.

I've brought the boys to a shoot in North London

for the cutting-edge interiors magazine Heart Home.

So Jeremy can learn to talk the talk

with professional interior designer Pippa Robinson.

Laurence, Jeremy, can I introduce you to Pippa?

This is a shoot that we're doing called Cosy Brights -

bold pops of colour and we've used it on a background of grey.

So, I mean, are you familiar with the trends?

-No.

-OK, well...

'Cosy Brights has gone over their heads.

'How about the other key looks of the last few years?'

So shabby chic? Have you heard of shabby chic at all?

No.

Shabby chic, believe it or not,

is been around for about eight years now.

This one... This is a bit newer,

it's kind of like the Scandinavian, Danish feel.

All about the kind of very simplistic,

organic shape of accessories.

Um... It'd tend to call it neutral look, whereas...

Well, neutral is almost a different...

-Neutral is beige, basically, and sand.

-Yeah.

-I guess is worked over the years - neutral, earthy...

-Yes.

Yeah.

'To get the biggest contracts with people like Pippa,

'they need to understand contemporary looks.

So, I want them to practice creating a cosy, bright scheme of their own.

-I like that rug.

-I like that, Laurence. That retro...

I love retro radios, anyway.

-You don't think it would match?

-No. Why? That's not retro.

That to me is very traditional. That's not retro.

-This is very modern, now.

-No.

No, no, no. I don't like.

I mean, it is neutral, isn't it? It's very neutral.

-Yeah, I don't like it.

-Sorry, it's messy chic.

Don't like it. It's not messy chic.

Shabby chic? Cosy, earth...

It's like a different language to me.

I'm starting to think I need to go back to college.

I don't think you need anything more now.

You see that, again... You're sticking with oranges and pinks.

-Bright oranges.

-It's all that stuff.

That's not a bright colour. That's a woody effect.

I think that's got to... I wouldn't have that. It's out of place.

-I think it coordinates perfectly. You've got orange.

-It's wood.

-Orange.

-It's wood.

-Orange.

But that's not orange. That's wood.

-Hi.

-Hello.

-Hello.

Choices made, it's time to re-dress the set and see

if Pippa is at all convinced by cosy brights, Alf Onnie style.

Yeah, well, firstly, I think there's probably

a little bit too much purple.

Bright colours is about lots of different colours and if I were

to give you one look, it has got a bit of a purple feel about it.

So it's the balance.

Do you think there's maybe a few too many accessories?

I'm loving the zigzag cushion,

but perhaps you could have introduced more of those colours in there.

The cushion that's got "Love" on it. It's a bit twee for this look.

This is meant to be strong, modern, graphic.

So I'd say that's a no

and also the one with the flower. A bit pretty.

Prop-wise, the wooden frames and pencil case, the colour's right,

but the material is not really right. Sorry!

I'm sure that you think you know everything, but...

LAUGHTER

'It's very interesting.

'I'm not sure we got it completely right,'

but I really quite enjoyed it.

It's given me a lot more food for thought.

I think we've always been very stuck

in that we'd been brought up in

the area where we trade from, East Ham,

which is a traditional area.

However, it doesn't matter how traditional an area is,

there's always room for change.

With the electrics still out, the shop is a sinking ship,

losing thousands of pounds a week

and eating up what's left of their savings.

But, at least with a major overhaul needed anyway,

it makes it easier to support Jeremy's plans for

a dramatic change to the chaotic layout.

So I've asked a leading retail team behind displays for Harrods

and Marks & Spencer to take on the job.

I see a complete mishmash of fabrics,

curtain samples and I'm not entirely certain

what they're offering is, to be perfectly honest.

To me, it's just a mess, really.

On my instructions,

SFD have totally redesigned the space to be both aspirational

and streamlined, to create an enjoyable shopping environment.

Now I need the boys to buy into it.

-OK.

-Plans.

It looks lovely.

I'll be honest.

I love the idea of the chandeliers,

but Abercrombie & Fitch can keep those.

-I would have like a low-level table with a couple of chairs.

-Why?

Could it be done like a wedge?

This one starting flat.

-Why would you want to do that?

-To see into it.

Zigzag them, give it a bit of dimension.

That's what I sort of think that we could do.

Yet again, the boys don't see eye to eye and this time,

it's my erstwhile ally Jeremy who's out on a limb.

I would like to see a lot of changes.

There are things in there I just really do not understand

and I don't particularly like the idea of, either.

It's just frustrating.

And over the next few weeks, Jeremy's perfectionism means

he wants to change every detail of the plans.

I am particular.

I am a person who likes to dot the i's, cross the t's,

make sure it's as it should be.

If being exact,

it makes you difficult to work with,

then yeah, OK, I'm difficult to work with.

With Jeremy's persistent meddling,

the whole venture is at a standstill.

A design still hasn't been agreed.

With the shopfitters on the verge of pulling out and now just

a month from the relaunch, the only way forward is for me to step in.

I shouldn't be surprised, really, because, as we know,

Jeremy, Kevin and Laurence are many good things,

but they are also completely chaotic, extremely disorganised

and can't agree on anything from one day to the next.

So, it has delayed the whole process enormously.

At several points, I thought we were going to lose SFD.

I want to make sure that we're now on track.

I know how difficult it has been

to get a decision on everything, get everything moving.

And I also understand that this

is a bastardized design,

-to be polite.

-Mmm.

Has there been lots of toing and froing?

Have they changed their minds about decisions?

You could say that, yes. Quite a few times.

Version one, version two, version three.

There's kind of been input from all three of them,

which is great, they want to be involved,

but, unfortunately, their opinions are actually

conflicting with each other and you tend to get

caught in the middle, trying to find a way through.

Jeremy's a very passionate guy. Exactly what he wants in his store.

It's fine to be passionate, everybody's passionate about their business,

but, end of the day, they've got to make some money.

And, unfortunately, that passion comes out

-as him appearing like a massive pain in the arse.

-Exactly, yeah.

-Which I don't think is very helpful for anybody.

-No.

I am really bloody cross.

'And I intend to go steaming into there and make it absolutely clear

'to them that they are not to throw

'a spanner in the works at this point.'

When I send you someone who is an expert in shopfitting,

you know, you could occasionally be gracious enough to think that

somebody knows better and accept that I'm doing my damnedest

to improve your bloody shop!

And instead of constantly going back and picking bits

and not being clear, they feel like

-you haven't been clear.

-Whoa, hang on a minute.

If somebody says that we haven't been clear, and we've mucked about...

I find that entirely possible, because you are not clear,

-you are confused, you are chaotic.

-With respect, I completely disagree.

Look! Look at this!

What about this suggests that you are not chaotic?

-I'm very sorry, Alex. I'm really upset that you've come up like that.

-I'm upset.

Well, you might be, but I'm the one that is being held responsible

and I know that I was very clear, very concise...

Well, you certainly shout very loudly, darling, but do you

understand the implications of all the decisions that you're making?

Yes. I try and tell them exactly how we want it in the first place.

It's not displaying cheese, it's not displaying a book.

-It's displaying fairly...

-You don't even work in the shop!

Why is it channelling through you?

I want to know that from you two.

Why is it going through Jeremy?

Why, because the actual fitments part,

the installation of the actual detail of the fitments...

Honestly, guys, you've been here a long time.

You've never fitted out the shop. I have offered you expertise.

It's not just me drawing on the back of a fag packet.

And I feel... Actually, you know,

I really do feel like walking away from it at this point

and saying, "Fine. You don't like it,

"you're not happy with it, you're not happy with them.

"They're certainly not happy with you.

-"Shall we just say

-BLEEP

-and leave things as they are?"

They've had all these years to do whatever they want to the shop.

I come in, suggest that they get it done,

give them a plan of action and he is nitpicking.

It's the first day of the installation.

With my faith in Jeremy at an all-time low, I've told him

to stay away from the shopfitters.

Sadly, he's got other ideas.

'I want to just keep'

an eye and make sure that everything's going to plan

'and that nothing's been forgotten or lost or missed out.'

Is one bracket enough, there?

There's some more there, mate.

Oh, he's brought you them. OK.

That's badly delivered. Blokes!

Make sure you sign that as box open, please. Not inspected.

I'm just thinking if we take the panel off, John,

and then cut it in to suit and then put it back on.

Why can't you just cut a slot in there for that?

When the made to measure fixtures arrive,

Jeremy thinks he's been short-changed.

-That's how it was on the drawings.

-Well, that's not how I said it.

How am I going to get to 'em? It's not going to work at all.

-Well, it will.

-Well, it isn't how I told them I wanted it.

I wanted them all the way along.

Yeah, I know what the drawing said, but that's not how...

You saw the drawings, you should've said something.

-I didn't know.

-You said you'd seen the drawings.

Yeah, all it says on the drawings is just hangers.

No, no, it shows them on there.

I don't know what's happened here.

It's certainly not what I discussed.

It's not what I planned at all.

I'm thinking these aren't even going to be able to be used.

I actually think that, aesthetically, they look better.

You can get ten or... No, I think you're completely wrong.

All you'll do is see one, two, three, four,

five, six, seven, eight hangers.

What you're thinking of, you won't see any of them!

You will, cos that's how we were doing.

How are you going to see any one?

-Well...

-Answer me a question!

-You'll see eight.

-No, you're not going to see any!

-Hold on one sec. Hold on.

Put them in. We'll see, and if you need to change, and put them...

-The units are standing on top of them!

-Listen, one sec.

-You won't be able to get them off.

'Jeremy's very pedantic on how he likes things to look.'

Yeah, yeah, I just really want to see the end of it, to be honest.

The layout of the shop is in disarray,

but with the relaunch just around the corner, I can't get sidetracked.

They have other big problems, too.

Jeremy's made to measure business

has been trading as Freedman Interiors,

whilst the shop has kept the Alf Onnie name,

which I think is madness.

'It seems quite evident'

to me that there is a tussle in the family

and that has resulted in there being

two very distinct halves to this business.

It's a huge mistake that these two sides of the business

don't work together as a cohesive whole.

I've brought the boys to award-winning marketing agency

Elvis to help resolve this fundamental split in the business.

'Kevin at least seems keen to play ball, but is surprisingly willing

'to drop their 93 year association with their grandfather's name.'

I think the name Alf Onnie,

people that aren't familiar with that name will not understand it.

They won't know what that name means,

what type of business it reflects at all.

'I do think it is time for a change. I feel that strongly.'

'John and Anna have led campaigns for international brands like Virgin,

'Honda and Sky, so the boys would do well to start listening.'

So, visually there's a lot that we need to sort out,

but before we can get into that I think the bigger issue, actually,

fundamentally, is kind of the name.

Heritage is everything for you guys, you've been there for so long

and Alf Onnie we liked for lots of reasons.

One, it's just a bit more distinctive.

It feels quite East End,

it feels kind of part of who you are and we sort of felt like that,

actually, that was, to be honest - might come as a bit of a shock -

a stronger part, from a branding point of view than Freedman Interiors.

I'm not necessarily in agreement with that.

What does Freedman Interiors say to you? I mean, what is it?

It's so generic.

It sounds more generic. I mean, Alf Onnie sounds very personal.

We believe it's not necessarily the name that needs to change,

it's the way it looks, it's the way you express it.

Certainly, we're open to...

'The boys already seem resistant,

'but I'm hoping they'll be won over by the agency's bold designs.'

This is our third and preferred version and like John said, I think

it narrows everything in together,

we're trying to represent for you guys.

No, no, no, no. Where's my curtains?

We want to talk about the craftsmanship and heritage

that goes into what you do, rather than visually

trying to show the product that you create in a logo.

It's incredibly difficult,

especially because it's something so ornate.

I don't agree with that, because, for me, that says curtains.

I think that looks just naff.

I don't agree. I think it's important.

That, to me, looks like a tap.

Seeing something is better than reading something, right? An image.

These are branding experts,

-so they do understand how important the visual is.

-I realise.

I've always wanted a logo, but I want it to be the right logo.

You want it to be curtains...

-..really.

-Funny enough, that's what we make.

We make curtains, we make blinds.

'The boys are in danger of sabotaging yet more expert advice.

'This time, I won't let that happen.

'If we can't get it right now, it won't be ready for the relaunch.'

The reason that the shop is such a mess is

cos no-one has sat them down and made them make a decision.

This is the point where they have to make a decision

and they have to decide on a way forward.

You have to accept that there are other people who know

more about something than us.

We're here to help, but we need to

really understand exactly where your heads are at.

I really want us to walk out of this room in 15 minutes with a plan.

The representation of curtains,

in whichever fashion we choose to progress, is going to be key.

I'm going to go in for bat for the colour, cos actually the purple,

I think it's really strong

and I think it will work particularly well inside the store,

where you've got lots of other colours that are surrounding it.

So, I think, actually, if we put those elements together,

then I think we're actually not in too bad a place.

What do you think?

You look like you've been hit over the head twice with a baseball bat.

Look at him. Are you feeling bullied? I don't mind if you are.

We think, if we're going to have a complete...

almost a change, a reinvigoration, then, yeah,

I think it could certainly work.

-Yeah, I'm happy to try.

-Certainly work.

-Brilliant.

-Let's just take it.

I think that's as good as we're going to get. Let's take it. Yay!

'Jeremy may have got his way with the curtain logo,

'but at least they've agreed a design

'and they've signed up the colour and are keeping the name.'

I had to really bully them into making a decision,

but we have to make decisions and move forward,

otherwise they're going to be stuck in the glue of the past,

which is where they've been stuck,

as far as I can see, for the last 20 years.

And I honestly think that this is their chance

either to change and prosper or to wither.

And there's another step in the right direction.

They seem to have learned from that earlier mistakes

and Jeremy has managed to land a trial commercial contract

with the University of East London.

Kevin's making a delivery of a batch of 15 tailor-made curtains.

-Hello.

-Hi.

Tape top, flame retardant tape as well, actually.

I'll put that in for you.

And...

..they've weighted those in for you, as well.

-You have, haven't you.

-Yes.

-Brilliant.

-Yeah, fantastic.

-The students can get some sleep, now, with the sun out.

-It'll be nice.

-Perfect timing.

For now, the order is only worth £1,800, but with 1,100 rooms,

if all goes well, it could be a gold mine

and drastically reduce their reliance on local footfall.

-Brilliant.

-All right.

-'They really have been excellent.

'I've been really pleased with how they've worked.'

Really knowledgeable about what was available in such a short period of time, so I've been pleased.

It's one good step forward, but with just two days

before the relaunch, the shop is still a total mess.

Even the dreaded furry friends are back.

This time, they're making quite a different impression.

That's quite unbelievable!

It's ratatouille!

Oh, that's revolting.

Inside the shop, it is no laughing matter.

Jeremy has changed the designs yet again

and he's still not happy.

-It sits on top of that.

-Is that what he's thinking of doing? Oh, my God.

But the biggest stumbling block is not Jeremy's fault.

A problem with the delivery is threatening

to completely derail the relaunch.

Oh, no.

This is just impossible.

We are really in trouble with this, aren't we?

'Nobody ever does quite what they say they're going to do.'

I've got no ready-mades to show,

I've got no blinds to show.

So it's like three-quarters of the business is not being shown.

Lord knows how I'm going to get everything, merchandise and display.

It's just a nightmare.

The one positive thing is just how hard Jeremy

and his brothers are working to bring their shop into this century.

But time is running out.

'It's the day of the relaunch.'

I'm very worried in case Jeremy's meddling has made

a complete pig's ear of this.

I really have no idea what I'm walking into at all.

'But, for once, it's me that's in for a shock.'

It looks like a different place. I just can't believe it!

They've done the ironwork, they've done the signage.

Look how light it is. It looks enormous!

I'm so thrilled that they agreed to adopt this branding.

I love the colour, I love how clear the lettering is.

I mean, honestly,

it's come into this century.

-Hello.

-Hello!

I can't believe it!

I'm so excited!

It's so lovely to see you.

It's so lovely to be here. I can't believe this!

It looks enormous.

-I had no idea I was going to be so excited!

-Nice to hear.

We are so thrilled to hear that. Honestly.

Darling, I feel like a little tear behind my eye.

Let it roll. Let it roll.

'I'm amazed that despite all the last-minute changes,

'the results are still truly stunning.

'As well as having an initial wow factor,

'the shop is now clearly split into easy to browse areas.

'Jeremy's made to measure display makes a real impact

'with its colour-coordinated pods and on trend fabrics.'

They look fab!

'They even have interior design tips for any extra accessories.

'Most importantly, the mountains of blankets,

'linens and doormats have been consigned to the skip

'and there is the space to enjoy what they do best,

'curtains and blinds.'

I had no idea that you were going to manage it so well. I really didn't.

-I was quite nervous. That sounds rude, doesn't it?

-No.

-But it is...

-No ruder than normal.

It's an incredible transformation, but, in the rush to get it

finished, one or two things have been brushed under the carpet.

Dirty little secrets.

'The boys have really pulled it all together in the last few days,

'but a sparkling new shop with no-one in it is no use to anyone.

'I want them to spread the word of their revamp far and wide,

'so they're using their heritage to try and stand out from the crowd.'

Come and see our grand opening!

Curtains and blinds at Alf Onnie's!

Come and see our family business, Alf Onnie!

We're reopening our new showroom today.

Family business, curtains and blinds.

For your home, your offices. Come and see!

Alf Onnie's new curtain and blind showroom!

But, just hitting the locals won't cut it.

For this business to succeed, it's the commercial contracts that

really count, so, they're inviting the biggest regional players.

-Jeremy Freedman.

-Hi.

We'd like to invite you down

-and we hope you can make it.

-With pleasure.

'It looks like word of their transformation has even

'got them in the press.

'I think the boys may have managed to pull it out of the bag.

'But, in the end, it's not my opinion,

'but that of the paying customer, that really matters.'

We now declare the showroom open!

CHEERING

-It's the way we want it.

-It's a nice transformation. Isn't it great?

PEOPLE CHAT

My family have been coming here for five generations,

so I love Alf Onnie's anyway,

but this has made it that much easier to browse.

They're always on hand to help and advise

and I think it's just lovely.

The curtains on the ceiling, they blocked the light up,

you had to duck under 'em to get through.

Now they've got rid of them, although there's not

so much on display, you can actually see more of what they have got.

Looks like modern. You know, it's vibrant now.

'The new upmarket look is proving a hit with the locals.

'And commercial clients with contracts worth

'thousands of pounds have also come for a look.'

-How you doing?

-Hi, nice to see you.

People who deal with the contracts for various universities,

designers letting agents, and people from the council,

who I know the boys have been desperate to get a hold of.

I think tonight has been a great opportunity for them to meet us

and just put names to faces and to work with local companies

and local shops like this would be brilliant.

So, yeah, I think it's definitely been really good for them and for us to meet.

You've put that effort in and so it's all on your backs and,

you know, guys, you're going to go from strength to strength.

I know you are. To Alf Onnie's and the next 90 years.

-A-ha! Hear hear.

-Thank you very much.

-Lovely.

The process has been incredibly hard,

but we've done it

and it's exactly how I wanted it

and I'm really delighted and

grateful to everybody that's played a part in it.

Seeing people startled

and surprised at the transformation of the shop, it's been great.

I knew it would all come good in the end.

Dad Brian has had some doubts along the way,

but is he won over by what his sons have achieved?

I'm very proud of my sons.

They've turned out something I think is fantastic.

Couldn't believe that it could be done,

but it is superb.

I feel really enthused

and happy that this has been such a good result.

They're set up much better now

to service, commercial, contract work.

They're not going to put off their local customers.

I think the future looks pretty rosy

for Alf Onnie's.

Once the dust has settled,

are the brothers still bickering or is business booming?

Thank you very much indeed.

Sometimes it's easy to slip back into your old habits,

but, no, we've made a determined effort

and boxed each other's ears if one of us

has perhaps gone down that road.

'Customers have been really surprised.'

Eyes have lit up and they think it's quite a transformation.

We've had mornings where we can't cope, it's been mobbed.

I think it's been the wow factor, really, for a lot of them.

There's one or two that think

probably the prices have gone up.

Very nice. Very, very nice.

-It's posh.

-Posh, right.

In this town, it's posh.

OK, OK. Well, posh shop, but not posh prices.

Yes, that's true. That's true.

They may not be cutting edge, but the biggest increase has been

in nets, which have contributed nearly a 10% growth in sales.

We've been really busy with net curtains,

which I think is definitely a result of the way we've displayed them.

They've even updated their antiquated account system,

to finally join the 21st century.

We'll probably wonder

why I hadn't done it a long time ago.

The commercial push is paying off, too.

Jeremy's won another big contract,

this time with Redbridge College.

It could be the beginnings of an Alf Onnie empire.

We have 84 classrooms at the college

and executive areas and staff rooms.

We've got blinds everywhere, so

I think we'll keep them busy for a while.

It will tilt either way.

The slats must always be in this direction.

And then you can pull the slats along.

But, however big they get,

Jeremy will always be on hand to dot every i personally.

BLINDS SLIDE

Perfect.

Small enough to care, big enough to cope.

You know what, I'm going to use that as my next hook.

And I'm astonished to see he's now even happy to serve in the shop.

..or have you gone on the outside?

This is really nice, as well. These are veneers.

But, perhaps that's because he got what he wanted.

'I have to say, one of the nicest things is'

that I've got my way.

I wanted rid of the linens, I wanted rid of the rugs.

The contacts that we've got now coming through,

I'm very excited for the future.

# Mess around

# I'm doing the mess around

# They're doing the mess around

# Everybody's doing the mess around

# Now, you see that girl with that diamond ring

# She knows how to shake that thing... #

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