Pennod 1 Caryl


Pennod 1

Cyfres yng nghwmni Caryl a'i thim o actorion. Bydd y cymeriadau yn siwr o'ch atgoffa o rywun rydych chi'n adnabod! Caryl Parry Jones and her team of actors present music and com...


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Transcript


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-"Hey ho, hi-de ho!

-I'm a gypsy on her way.

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-"Caravan in the shadow of a hill.

-A new location every other day."

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-Come, join Jojo and me

-on our journey...

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-..as we embark on our holiday.

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-I don't know where we're going.

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-We'll simply follow our noses.

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-Who needs directions when you have

-the breeze to guide you?

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-Mother Nature's map

-and the stars' satnav.

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-Is everything ready, Jo Jo?

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-****ing **it!

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-SNORING

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-This is my new aftershave range.

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-Obviously.

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-That's its name.

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-Obviously.

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-Obviously by Cameron Jenkins.

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-My Auntie Vicky has just come home

-from her holidays.

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-She went to Ibiza.

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-Pah! Ibiza?

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-My brother...

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-My brother

-is the best DJ in the world.

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-He DJs in Ibiza all the time.

-He's the best.

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-My brother...

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-He told me

-he saw your brother in Ibiza.

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-He was walking on the beach carrying

-his tapes but he tripped and fell.

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-He smashed up all his tapes

-and he cried.

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-No way.

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-No way.

-

-Yes way.

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-My brother DJs

-in the best clubs in Ibiza.

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-Space, Privilege,

-Cafe Mambo and Pacha.

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-He plays all the best records too.

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-David Guetta, Dimitri Vegas...

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-..Alistair James...

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-..Bryn Fon and Moniars.

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-Oh, wow! Amazing.

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-That didn't happen!

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-My brother

-is the best DJ in the world.

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-He doesn't play in common Ibiza

-clubs because he's too famous.

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-He has his own radio station

-in America...

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-..and it has

-seven billion listeners every day.

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-He never plays any Moniars records.

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-Because he flies them

-out to America...

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-..to play live at his radio station.

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-And they stay in his mansion...

-in one of his mansions.

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-Well, hello and welcome to Bwrlwm...

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-..the brand new online show where

-I welcome you to my busy home.

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-We'll have a get-together every week

-and have a chat over a cup of tea...

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-..or a Pinot Grigio.

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-A very warm welcome to Bwrlwm.

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-Come in.

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-Let me introduce you

-to two of my best friends.

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-They'll join in the Bwrlwm fun

-every week.

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-This is Esyllt Rhyd Rhychiog.

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-We've been friends

-since our schooldays.

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-She's always taken a keen interest

-in everything I do.

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-She's an enthusiastic member

-of my cerdd dant choir...

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-..and of my recitation party.

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-She grew up on a farm

-called Rhyd Rhychiog, by the way...

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-..in case you thought

-her parents had lost the plot...

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-..when they named her!

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-Her real name

-is Esyllt Meiriadwen ap Gwrtheyrn.

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-Can I pour this Pinot Grigio now?

-I'm gasping.

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-Yes. It's never too early.

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-And this is Gwenan Bonc.

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-She's also named after a farm.

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-Hello.

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-Oh, Huw! It's wonderful.

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-Come here.

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-Thank you

-for 25 years of perfection.

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-Gross!

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-What's wrong with her?

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-What's wrong with her?

-

-She saw your dad and me kissing.

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-At least she didn't walk in on you

-in that cottage on Millennium night.

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-That's what I call fireworks!

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-That's what I call fireworks!

-

-Gross!

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-I was only thanking your father

-for this.

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-Why must you react like that...

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-..every time we show a bit of thingy

-towards each other?

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-If we hadn't done it, you and Gruff

-wouldn't be here today.

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-I can't hear you!

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-Anyway.

-Congratulations on 25 not out.

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-Raise your glasses.

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-Raise your glasses.

-

-Oh, really?

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-Come on, Ffi. Neck it.

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-Come on, Ffi. Neck it.

-

-Gruff!

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-To us - the Carlton-Lewises.

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-# Happy anniversary to you.

-Happy anniversary to you

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-# Happy anniversary

-Mr and Mrs Carlton-Lewis

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-# Happy anniversary to you #

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-Oh my gosh, guys! Silver wedding.

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-That's awesome and very apt for you,

-Mr Carlton-Lewis, you silver fox!

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-Will you please stop

-grossing me out?

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-What will you do to celebrate?

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-A romantic night for two?

-A weekend away?

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-Dad has booked a table at Mam's

-favourite restaurant and then...

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-..Dad and Mam

-definitely won't have sex.

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-Millennium Stadium?

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-There was nothing wrong

-with the Arms Park.

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-It was rubbish but it did the job.

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-Well, but this new place?

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-You pay 500 for a ticket...

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-..and you're sitting there,

-ready to watch the match...

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-..when a so-and-so gets up

-to take a leak.

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-You stand up to

-let him get past you.

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-Two minutes later, he's back.

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-Stand up again.

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-Next thing, his friend needs to go,

-so you stand up again.

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-Two minutes later, he comes back.

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-Then his children need to go.

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-All 25 of them

-need the loo at the same time.

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-I'm up and down like a yo-yo.

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-And then the final whistle is blown.

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-My brother has his own radio show.

-He's got eight billion listeners.

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-He lets me DJ on his radio station.

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-My DJ name is...

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-..DJ Awesome.

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-I don't have to go

-on my brother's radio station...

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-..because I've got

-my own radio station, with Oswyn.

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-We're the best DJs in Caernarfon.

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-What are your DJ names?

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-He's...

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-..DJ Lwmp and I'm...

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-I'm Dr Dre.

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-No way.

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-No way.

-

-Dr Dre.

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-Can I be on it?

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-Can I be on it?

-

-No way.

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-Where's your radio studio then?

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-Oh, Veloria, we had a lovely time

-the other evening.

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-We went to Phil and Julie's house.

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-You know Phil - Rob's brother.

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-Yes. Lovely boy.

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-Heledd, their youngest...

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-..is going to Leeds University

-to do English Literature.

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-We had a running buffet

-and a couple of pints.

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-It was lovely.

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-I tell you now, Veloria, putting

-children through college is no joke.

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-Student loans are one thing

-but you've got to help.

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-We're talking about accommodation,

-food, books, laptops and allsorts.

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-I know exactly what you mean, Pam.

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-I remember putting our Annabel

-through college.

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-Geoff wanted her to do accountancy

-at the London School of Economics.

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-A chip off the old block.

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-I said, "Annabel, don't listen to

-your father. Listen to your heart."

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-She opted for a foundation course

-in fashion and design.

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-She didn't finish it

-because she met Justin.

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-The rest is history.

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-You worry about them,

-in case they end up in some squat.

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-That's why Geoff and I

-decided to buy a flat for her...

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-..right in the middle of London.

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-In Kensington.

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-I told Annabel

-it was very convenient...

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-..for restaurants, bars,

-boutiques and galleries.

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-Did she live in London on her own?

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-Did she live in London on her own?

-

-No. She had a flatmate.

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-She paid rent to Geoff and me.

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-The flat paid for itself.

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-We considered selling it...

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-..but we thought we may as well

-keep it as a pied-a-terre.

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-We're forever

-going up and down the M4...

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-..when I go to Harley Street

-to check my...

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-It's tripled in value.

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-I mean the flat, not my...

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-Here comes Cameron Jenkins.

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-He goes past Dan Carter.

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-He goes past Richie McCaw.

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-He scores!

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-Just before half time.

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-.

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-Subtitles

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-Subtitles

-

-Subtitles

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-# I met a handsome boy

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-# Down at the seaside,

-down at the seaside

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-# Down at the seaside

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-# I met a handsome boy

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-# Down at the seaside

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-# Down at the seaside #

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-# One black one, one white one

-And one with a bit of... #

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-Jojo, no! We're singing

-joyous jamboree songs only!

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-# Sing rock and roll every morning

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-# Sing rock and roll every afternoon

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-# Sing rock and roll at night

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-# Sing rock and roll

-To make things OK #

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-Let me explain.

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-Gwenan is an old college friend

-of mine.

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-She comes from

-the Llandeilo area originally...

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-..but she fell "in love"

-with a boy from Trefor...

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-..who was doing biochemistry

-in Bangor at the same time as us.

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-Gwenan has stayed up here

-since then.

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-But she isn't with Robert Biochem

-any more, I hasten to add.

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-Welcome, Gwenan.

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-How are you today?

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-Not too bad, thanks.

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-I'm sure you're all desperate

-to hear how my day looks.

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-Excellent! Let's take yesterday

-as an example.

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-I was awake earlier than a vet

-on Grand National day...

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-..as Grandma Whiskers would say.

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-I set two poems to music

-before 10 o'clock in the morning...

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-..when I wrote a song

-for my latest musical - DJ Wilias.

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-A look of how life would be

-for the poet from Rhydcymerau...

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-..had be been born

-in the 21st century.

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-He'd be on the decks,

-with a name like that!

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-Get it?

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-DJ!

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-Next on the DJ Lwmp And Dr Dre Show,

-a song from a man who sings things.

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-Whacker Whacker.

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-Do it again.

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-Eject it!

-Maybe there's no tape in there.

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-You look like you had a late night.

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-I didn't get much sleep last night.

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-What's the matter?

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-Is something worrying you?

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-No, it's nothing like that.

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-Did Harold Spreader call again?

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-I thought you'd banned him.

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-No.

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-I was up until the early hours

-playing games.

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-Games?

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-Games?

-

-Yes - games.

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-What were you playing

-to keep you up so late?

0:14:120:14:16

-Old Maid?

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-No, fool!

0:14:180:14:20

-Jenga?

0:14:200:14:21

-Jenga?

-

-No. None of those.

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-Well what then?

0:14:230:14:24

-Grand Theft Auto IV Vice City

-on the Xbox 360.

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-Oh, well Rockstar Games

-know their stuff.

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-I'm partial

-to a bit of Batman Arkham City.

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-I played it so much the other week,

-I thought my name was Bruce Wayne!

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-Holy controller!

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-Then, I wrote an email

-to Cefin Roberts.

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-I'm always happy to give him

-a few pointers...

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-..for his work with Glanaethwy.

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-Cef and I understand each other.

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-Mind you,

-he's difficult to pin down.

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-He's a busy bee, like me.

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-As busy as Dirty Wil's dog's maggots

-as Grandpa Hernia would say.

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-Did he email you back?

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-No.

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-I was exactly the same

-with Call Of Duty: Ghosts.

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-COD: Ghosts on the PS4

-is my favourite game.

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-I love playing as one of

-the special operations personnel...

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-..who carry out clandestine missions

-behind enemy lines.

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-It reminds me of the time...

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-..when I competed in eisteddfodau

-with Rhos Choir.

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-I must say

-I like a bit of survival horror.

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-Things like Resident Evil.

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-It's good to have something

-to raise your heart rate.

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-I thought that's why

-you banned Harold Spreader.

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-Oh! Well.

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-Oh.

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-What's that?

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-Do you know the worst thing

-about the Millennium Stadium?

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-It's in bl***y Cardiff.

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-It should be here,

-in the birthplace of Welsh rugby.

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-They'd have a pitch they didn't

-have to dig up every two minutes.

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-What do these city folk

-from Cardiff know about lawns?

0:16:460:16:52

-The men drink coffee

-outside shops...

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-..and parade around

-with their handbags!

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-They don't know the difference

-between grass and a bouncy castle.

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-What a night!

-We must do it more often.

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-Yeah, I was so dreading it

-but actually...

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-Ffion!

0:17:140:17:15

-Ffion!

-

-Sorry.

0:17:150:17:16

-It was a wonderful evening and the

-food was splendid. Thank you, Daddy.

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-In case you didn't think we cared,

-we've prepared something for you.

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-Ffi, let's swap.

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-Why?

0:17:320:17:33

-Why?

-

-It'll be a nice touch.

0:17:330:17:35

-Fine.

0:17:350:17:37

-I'll go first. It's a poem.

0:17:380:17:40

-A Quarter Of A Century.

0:17:410:17:43

-The stars of a silver wedding

-Are tonight here twinkling

0:17:430:17:49

-Hand-in-hand you did marry

-One soul, one entity.

0:17:500:17:56

-Oh, Gruff. That was beautiful.

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-Yes, but I...

0:18:010:18:01

-Yes, but I...

-

-Go on, Ffion.

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-OK.

0:18:030:18:05

-The Celebration.

0:18:070:18:08

-Beneath our parents' star

-There is a fun-filled room

0:18:110:18:17

-A child-free room where their lust

-Turns into a hump, some rumpy pumpy.

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-It isn't funny! It's gross.

0:18:280:18:29

-It's totes gross,

-plus you didn't write it.

0:18:300:18:34

-It's totes lads' lit.

0:18:340:18:35

-You're so gross! You're so gross.

0:18:360:18:38

-All you need for a good game

-of rugby is a pitch and some posts.

0:18:410:18:45

-Cameron says,

-"Bamps! What about the atmosphere?"

0:18:460:18:50

-"You'll find the best atmosphere

-in the world...

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-"..in the Millennium Stadium."

0:18:530:18:56

-Atmosphere?

0:18:560:18:58

-C**p!

0:18:580:18:59

-ENGINE SPLUTTERS

0:19:030:19:05

-What's happened?

0:19:070:19:09

-The van's chi has been disturbed.

0:19:110:19:13

-Of course, this is the universe's

-way of telling Jojo and I...

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-..to have a rest

-and to break our journey.

0:19:250:19:28

-How long have you been

-on the road, Val?

0:19:280:19:31

-I'm sorry?

0:19:330:19:35

-How long have you been travelling

-today?

0:19:350:19:38

-Well, it's hard to say.

0:19:400:19:42

-For around 20 minutes.

0:19:450:19:47

-There must be something magical

-about this place.

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-We were led to this place.

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-Listen to the peace

-and tranquility.

0:19:560:19:59

-KNOCKING SOUND FROM THE ENGINE

0:20:010:20:04

-Do you need some help?

0:20:080:20:10

-No. Everything's alright.

0:20:100:20:12

-The kindness of our brothers.

0:20:130:20:14

-Sounds like the alternator's gone.

0:20:150:20:18

-Sounds like the alternator's gone.

-

-No. Everything's alright.

0:20:180:20:19

-The alternator is new.

0:20:200:20:21

-That's strange.

-How long have you had it?

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-Since 2004.

0:20:240:20:26

-That's over ten years ago!

0:20:260:20:28

-Let me take a look at it.

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-Let me take a look at it.

-

-No, thank you.

0:20:300:20:31

-Suit yourself.

-I won't offer to help another hippy.

0:20:330:20:36

-Excuse me! Hippy?

0:20:370:20:38

-Yes - you.

0:20:380:20:40

-The brotherhood of man.

0:20:400:20:42

-# I am your brother

-And you are my brother

0:20:470:20:52

-# Oh, why then can't I have

0:20:530:20:56

-# The right to live? #

0:20:570:21:00

-Introducing a new choir

-for middle-aged singers

0:21:140:21:17

-# Gaining weight and hot flushes

0:21:220:21:25

-# Drinking wine, becoming lushes

0:21:300:21:33

-# Never mind the toy boy crushes

0:21:330:21:37

-# And our brains turn to mushes

0:21:370:21:41

-# She forgets her phone

-And her keys every day

0:21:420:21:45

-# Hello, menopause

0:21:460:21:51

-# Thinning on top, so grow a goatee

0:21:580:22:01

-# Buy a Harley and a Ferrari

0:22:010:22:05

-# Cop off with a woman of 30

0:22:050:22:09

-# Hello, menopause

0:22:100:22:13

-# Leave keys in our freezers

0:22:130:22:17

-# Having to use tweezers

0:22:170:22:21

-# Try to hide that bald patch

0:22:210:22:25

-# End up looking like Julius Caesar

0:22:250:22:29

-# Moans and groans,

-arthritic in parts

0:22:290:22:33

-# Insomnia, snoring

-and constant farts

0:22:340:22:38

-# In the office band I will play

0:22:410:22:45

-# Scoffed muffins in the gym today

0:22:460:22:49

-# Not yet old but well on the way

0:22:490:22:53

-# Hello, menopause

0:22:530:22:57

-# Menopause

0:22:580:23:02

-# Menopause

0:23:020:23:05

-# Only menopause #

0:23:070:23:15

-S4C subtitles by Eirlys A Jones

0:23:280:23:31

-.

0:23:310:23:32

Cyfres yng nghwmni Caryl a'i thim o actorion. Bydd y cymeriadau yn siwr o'ch atgoffa o rywun rydych chi'n adnabod! Caryl Parry Jones and her team of actors present music and comedy.