Pennod 1 Caryl

-Subtitles

-Subtitles

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-Subtitles

-"Hey ho, hi-de ho!

-I'm a gypsy on her way.

-"Caravan in the shadow of a hill.

-A new location every other day."

-Come, join Jojo and me

-on our journey...

-..as we embark on our holiday.

-I don't know where we're going.

-We'll simply follow our noses.

-Who needs directions when you have

-the breeze to guide you?

-Mother Nature's map

-and the stars' satnav.

-Is everything ready, Jo Jo?

-****ing **it!

-SNORING

-This is my new aftershave range.

-Obviously.

-That's its name.

-Obviously.

-Obviously by Cameron Jenkins.

-My Auntie Vicky has just come home

-from her holidays.

-She went to Ibiza.

-Pah! Ibiza?

-My brother...

-My brother

-is the best DJ in the world.

-He DJs in Ibiza all the time.

-He's the best.

-My brother...

-He told me

-he saw your brother in Ibiza.

-He was walking on the beach carrying

-his tapes but he tripped and fell.

-He smashed up all his tapes

-and he cried.

-No way.

-No way.

-

-Yes way.

-My brother DJs

-in the best clubs in Ibiza.

-Space, Privilege,

-Cafe Mambo and Pacha.

-He plays all the best records too.

-David Guetta, Dimitri Vegas...

-..Alistair James...

-..Bryn Fon and Moniars.

-Oh, wow! Amazing.

-That didn't happen!

-My brother

-is the best DJ in the world.

-He doesn't play in common Ibiza

-clubs because he's too famous.

-He has his own radio station

-in America...

-..and it has

-seven billion listeners every day.

-He never plays any Moniars records.

-Because he flies them

-out to America...

-..to play live at his radio station.

-And they stay in his mansion...

-in one of his mansions.

-Well, hello and welcome to Bwrlwm...

-..the brand new online show where

-I welcome you to my busy home.

-We'll have a get-together every week

-and have a chat over a cup of tea...

-..or a Pinot Grigio.

-A very warm welcome to Bwrlwm.

-Come in.

-Let me introduce you

-to two of my best friends.

-They'll join in the Bwrlwm fun

-every week.

-This is Esyllt Rhyd Rhychiog.

-We've been friends

-since our schooldays.

-She's always taken a keen interest

-in everything I do.

-She's an enthusiastic member

-of my cerdd dant choir...

-..and of my recitation party.

-She grew up on a farm

-called Rhyd Rhychiog, by the way...

-..in case you thought

-her parents had lost the plot...

-..when they named her!

-Her real name

-is Esyllt Meiriadwen ap Gwrtheyrn.

-Can I pour this Pinot Grigio now?

-I'm gasping.

-Yes. It's never too early.

-And this is Gwenan Bonc.

-She's also named after a farm.

-Hello.

-Oh, Huw! It's wonderful.

-Come here.

-Thank you

-for 25 years of perfection.

-Gross!

-What's wrong with her?

-What's wrong with her?

-

-She saw your dad and me kissing.

-At least she didn't walk in on you

-in that cottage on Millennium night.

-That's what I call fireworks!

-That's what I call fireworks!

-

-Gross!

-I was only thanking your father

-for this.

-Why must you react like that...

-..every time we show a bit of thingy

-towards each other?

-If we hadn't done it, you and Gruff

-wouldn't be here today.

-I can't hear you!

-Anyway.

-Congratulations on 25 not out.

-Raise your glasses.

-Raise your glasses.

-

-Oh, really?

-Come on, Ffi. Neck it.

-Come on, Ffi. Neck it.

-

-Gruff!

-To us - the Carlton-Lewises.

-# Happy anniversary to you.

-Happy anniversary to you

-# Happy anniversary

-Mr and Mrs Carlton-Lewis

-# Happy anniversary to you #

-Oh my gosh, guys! Silver wedding.

-That's awesome and very apt for you,

-Mr Carlton-Lewis, you silver fox!

-Will you please stop

-grossing me out?

-What will you do to celebrate?

-A romantic night for two?

-A weekend away?

-Dad has booked a table at Mam's

-favourite restaurant and then...

-..Dad and Mam

-definitely won't have sex.

-Millennium Stadium?

-There was nothing wrong

-with the Arms Park.

-It was rubbish but it did the job.

-Well, but this new place?

-You pay 500 for a ticket...

-..and you're sitting there,

-ready to watch the match...

-..when a so-and-so gets up

-to take a leak.

-You stand up to

-let him get past you.

-Two minutes later, he's back.

-Stand up again.

-Next thing, his friend needs to go,

-so you stand up again.

-Two minutes later, he comes back.

-Then his children need to go.

-All 25 of them

-need the loo at the same time.

-I'm up and down like a yo-yo.

-And then the final whistle is blown.

-My brother has his own radio show.

-He's got eight billion listeners.

-He lets me DJ on his radio station.

-My DJ name is...

-..DJ Awesome.

-I don't have to go

-on my brother's radio station...

-..because I've got

-my own radio station, with Oswyn.

-We're the best DJs in Caernarfon.

-What are your DJ names?

-He's...

-..DJ Lwmp and I'm...

-I'm Dr Dre.

-No way.

-No way.

-

-Dr Dre.

-Can I be on it?

-Can I be on it?

-

-No way.

-Where's your radio studio then?

-Oh, Veloria, we had a lovely time

-the other evening.

-We went to Phil and Julie's house.

-You know Phil - Rob's brother.

-Yes. Lovely boy.

-Heledd, their youngest...

-..is going to Leeds University

-to do English Literature.

-We had a running buffet

-and a couple of pints.

-It was lovely.

-I tell you now, Veloria, putting

-children through college is no joke.

-Student loans are one thing

-but you've got to help.

-We're talking about accommodation,

-food, books, laptops and allsorts.

-I know exactly what you mean, Pam.

-I remember putting our Annabel

-through college.

-Geoff wanted her to do accountancy

-at the London School of Economics.

-A chip off the old block.

-I said, "Annabel, don't listen to

-your father. Listen to your heart."

-She opted for a foundation course

-in fashion and design.

-She didn't finish it

-because she met Justin.

-The rest is history.

-You worry about them,

-in case they end up in some squat.

-That's why Geoff and I

-decided to buy a flat for her...

-..right in the middle of London.

-In Kensington.

-I told Annabel

-it was very convenient...

-..for restaurants, bars,

-boutiques and galleries.

-Did she live in London on her own?

-Did she live in London on her own?

-

-No. She had a flatmate.

-She paid rent to Geoff and me.

-The flat paid for itself.

-We considered selling it...

-..but we thought we may as well

-keep it as a pied-a-terre.

-We're forever

-going up and down the M4...

-..when I go to Harley Street

-to check my...

-It's tripled in value.

-I mean the flat, not my...

-Here comes Cameron Jenkins.

-He goes past Dan Carter.

-He goes past Richie McCaw.

-He scores!

-Just before half time.

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-Subtitles

-Subtitles

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-Subtitles

-# I met a handsome boy

-# Down at the seaside,

-down at the seaside

-# Down at the seaside

-# I met a handsome boy

-# Down at the seaside

-# Down at the seaside #

-# One black one, one white one

-And one with a bit of... #

-Jojo, no! We're singing

-joyous jamboree songs only!

-# Sing rock and roll every morning

-# Sing rock and roll every afternoon

-# Sing rock and roll at night

-# Sing rock and roll

-To make things OK #

-Let me explain.

-Gwenan is an old college friend

-of mine.

-She comes from

-the Llandeilo area originally...

-..but she fell "in love"

-with a boy from Trefor...

-..who was doing biochemistry

-in Bangor at the same time as us.

-Gwenan has stayed up here

-since then.

-But she isn't with Robert Biochem

-any more, I hasten to add.

-Welcome, Gwenan.

-How are you today?

-Not too bad, thanks.

-I'm sure you're all desperate

-to hear how my day looks.

-Excellent! Let's take yesterday

-as an example.

-I was awake earlier than a vet

-on Grand National day...

-..as Grandma Whiskers would say.

-I set two poems to music

-before 10 o'clock in the morning...

-..when I wrote a song

-for my latest musical - DJ Wilias.

-A look of how life would be

-for the poet from Rhydcymerau...

-..had be been born

-in the 21st century.

-He'd be on the decks,

-with a name like that!

-Get it?

-DJ!

-Next on the DJ Lwmp And Dr Dre Show,

-a song from a man who sings things.

-Whacker Whacker.

-Do it again.

-Eject it!

-Maybe there's no tape in there.

-You look like you had a late night.

-I didn't get much sleep last night.

-What's the matter?

-Is something worrying you?

-No, it's nothing like that.

-Did Harold Spreader call again?

-I thought you'd banned him.

-No.

-I was up until the early hours

-playing games.

-Games?

-Games?

-

-Yes - games.

-What were you playing

-to keep you up so late?

-Old Maid?

-No, fool!

-Jenga?

-Jenga?

-

-No. None of those.

-Well what then?

-Grand Theft Auto IV Vice City

-on the Xbox 360.

-Oh, well Rockstar Games

-know their stuff.

-I'm partial

-to a bit of Batman Arkham City.

-I played it so much the other week,

-I thought my name was Bruce Wayne!

-Holy controller!

-Then, I wrote an email

-to Cefin Roberts.

-I'm always happy to give him

-a few pointers...

-..for his work with Glanaethwy.

-Cef and I understand each other.

-Mind you,

-he's difficult to pin down.

-He's a busy bee, like me.

-As busy as Dirty Wil's dog's maggots

-as Grandpa Hernia would say.

-Did he email you back?

-No.

-I was exactly the same

-with Call Of Duty: Ghosts.

-COD: Ghosts on the PS4

-is my favourite game.

-I love playing as one of

-the special operations personnel...

-..who carry out clandestine missions

-behind enemy lines.

-It reminds me of the time...

-..when I competed in eisteddfodau

-with Rhos Choir.

-I must say

-I like a bit of survival horror.

-Things like Resident Evil.

-It's good to have something

-to raise your heart rate.

-I thought that's why

-you banned Harold Spreader.

-Oh! Well.

-Oh.

-What's that?

-Do you know the worst thing

-about the Millennium Stadium?

-It's in bl***y Cardiff.

-It should be here,

-in the birthplace of Welsh rugby.

-They'd have a pitch they didn't

-have to dig up every two minutes.

-What do these city folk

-from Cardiff know about lawns?

-The men drink coffee

-outside shops...

-..and parade around

-with their handbags!

-They don't know the difference

-between grass and a bouncy castle.

-What a night!

-We must do it more often.

-Yeah, I was so dreading it

-but actually...

-Ffion!

-Ffion!

-

-Sorry.

-It was a wonderful evening and the

-food was splendid. Thank you, Daddy.

-In case you didn't think we cared,

-we've prepared something for you.

-Ffi, let's swap.

-Why?

-Why?

-

-It'll be a nice touch.

-Fine.

-I'll go first. It's a poem.

-A Quarter Of A Century.

-The stars of a silver wedding

-Are tonight here twinkling

-Hand-in-hand you did marry

-One soul, one entity.

-Oh, Gruff. That was beautiful.

-Yes, but I...

-Yes, but I...

-

-Go on, Ffion.

-OK.

-The Celebration.

-Beneath our parents' star

-There is a fun-filled room

-A child-free room where their lust

-Turns into a hump, some rumpy pumpy.

-It isn't funny! It's gross.

-It's totes gross,

-plus you didn't write it.

-It's totes lads' lit.

-You're so gross! You're so gross.

-All you need for a good game

-of rugby is a pitch and some posts.

-Cameron says,

-"Bamps! What about the atmosphere?"

-"You'll find the best atmosphere

-in the world...

-"..in the Millennium Stadium."

-Atmosphere?

-C**p!

-ENGINE SPLUTTERS

-What's happened?

-The van's chi has been disturbed.

-Of course, this is the universe's

-way of telling Jojo and I...

-..to have a rest

-and to break our journey.

-How long have you been

-on the road, Val?

-I'm sorry?

-How long have you been travelling

-today?

-Well, it's hard to say.

-For around 20 minutes.

-There must be something magical

-about this place.

-We were led to this place.

-Listen to the peace

-and tranquility.

-KNOCKING SOUND FROM THE ENGINE

-Do you need some help?

-No. Everything's alright.

-The kindness of our brothers.

-Sounds like the alternator's gone.

-Sounds like the alternator's gone.

-

-No. Everything's alright.

-The alternator is new.

-That's strange.

-How long have you had it?

-Since 2004.

-That's over ten years ago!

-Let me take a look at it.

-Let me take a look at it.

-

-No, thank you.

-Suit yourself.

-I won't offer to help another hippy.

-Excuse me! Hippy?

-Yes - you.

-The brotherhood of man.

-# I am your brother

-And you are my brother

-# Oh, why then can't I have

-# The right to live? #

-Introducing a new choir

-for middle-aged singers

-# Gaining weight and hot flushes

-# Drinking wine, becoming lushes

-# Never mind the toy boy crushes

-# And our brains turn to mushes

-# She forgets her phone

-And her keys every day

-# Hello, menopause

-# Thinning on top, so grow a goatee

-# Buy a Harley and a Ferrari

-# Cop off with a woman of 30

-# Hello, menopause

-# Leave keys in our freezers

-# Having to use tweezers

-# Try to hide that bald patch

-# End up looking like Julius Caesar

-# Moans and groans,

-arthritic in parts

-# Insomnia, snoring

-and constant farts

-# In the office band I will play

-# Scoffed muffins in the gym today

-# Not yet old but well on the way

-# Hello, menopause

-# Menopause

-# Menopause

-# Only menopause #

-S4C subtitles by Eirlys A Jones

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