Pennod 2 Caryl


Pennod 2

Yr wythnos hon cawn gwrdd a Rosie O'Grady a'i ffrindiau mewn cyfres o sgetsus sy'n cynnwys pobl o gyffiniau'r Rhyl a neb arall! The sketches this week feature characters from Rhyl!


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-People ask me to do charity stuff

-every year.

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-I'm happy to do things for charity.

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-They ask me to do things like

-The Three Peaks.

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-Climbing Ben Nevis, Scaffel

-and Snowdon.

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-I've also been asked

-to climb Kilimanjaro.

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-All those are a bit too easy.

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-That's why I've set myself

-a major challenge for next year.

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-I'm going to climb Ian Evans.

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-Alright, but?

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-Crampons at the ready!

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-Our series on Val and Jo Jo Eastman,

-who moved to Mid Wales, continues.

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-Eating a healthy, natural diet

-is very important to Val and Jo Jo.

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-That's what gives them...

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-..what they consider to be

-a healthy, attractive glow.

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-When we lived in Leicester,

-we ate out a lot.

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-We ate a lot of Indian food.

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-We also went to Chinese, French,

-Italian and Vietnamese restaurants.

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-We also enjoyed pub grub.

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-We went out almost every night.

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-We went out almost every night.

-

-It was bloody lovely!

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-But now, we eat wholesome,

-healthy food...

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-..and we grow a lot of our own food.

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-We grow sprouts, cabbages and

-spinach, to name but three things.

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-Jo Jo loves nothing more

-than to feast on my bush...

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-..and Jo Jo's shoots

-are also very tasty in my mouth.

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-But Jo Jo and I have decided that

-we must get a lot more exercise...

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-..if we want to have a healthy body

-and a healthy heart.

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-We don't believe in gyms...

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-..because Mother Earth

-has a workout station of her own.

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-That's why we've invented

-our very own primitive workout.

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-Come and join us!

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-# A clean heart

-O'erflow'd with goodness

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-# Fairer than the lily white #

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-In a world where there is no world.

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-Where humanity is but a skeleton

-and the creation is pure poison...

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-..only the strong rise

-from the flames of the Apocalypse.

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-The future of the human race is

-in the hands of the indestructible.

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-The sole survivors

-are people who come from Rhyl.

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-Rosie O'Grady,

-the leader of the fairground people.

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-Marina Lake,

-a lifeguard at The Sun Centre.

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-Dixieland Hughes, trainee assistant

-deputy manager for a phone company.

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-Gaz Top as himself.

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-In a harsh environment,

-supplies are running low.

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-They must venture

-outside the confines of camp...

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-..knowing they face the greatest

-possible danger - the Rowndarownds.

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-ENGINE WON'T START

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-Flippin' 'eck! What's wrong with it?

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-Shall I run into Rhyl

-to fetch some petrol?

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-No! We can't leave the car.

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-That's annoyin'. I need a wee.

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-If we get infected

-by the Rowndarownds, we're doomed!

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-Remember what happened

-to Nerys Hughes.

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-Oh, yeah.

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-Flamin' 'ell!

-is anyone else boilin' or what?

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-No!

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-No!

-

-Alright, mate?

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-To Be Continued...

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-Ha, ha, ha!

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-Ha, ha, ha!

-

-What's up?

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-I was on the internet

-in my grandma's house last night...

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-..and I saw this thing on YouTube.

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-It was a hippopotamus letting off

-a massive fart that lasted for ages.

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-It was really funny!

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-I remember one time when my brother

-ate some beans, a cabbage...

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-..some broccoli and lots of sprouts.

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-He drank 20 gallons

-of fizzy pop too.

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-He had a touch of indigestion...

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-..and he let off a fart

-which lasted for three months.

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-HE BLOWS A RASPBERRY

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-Oh, Veloria, we had a grand old time

-the other day.

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-We went on the Brecon Railway.

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-Oh!

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-Jac, the youngest,

-adores Thomas The Tank.

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-We used some vouchers.

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-We all went on the train

-with a family ticket.

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-He loved it.

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-He even met the driver!

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-We did it for half the price

-it would normally cost.

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-These days out

-can be expensive, Veloria.

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-Yes. I know exactly what you mean.

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-Oliver, Annabel's son,

-is mad about trains.

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-That's why we took him

-to Venice on the Orient Express.

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-It was midweek,

-so we had to take him out of school.

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-Do you know

-what I said to his teacher?

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-"I'm sure you will let him come

-because it's very educational."

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-It's usually 1,500 for a single.

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-Geoff pulled off a couple of deals

-with his clients...

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-..and he got it for 6,000 all in.

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-That means we saved 3,000.

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-Think what you could do with 3,000!

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-I know it's not much,

-but every penny counts.

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-Simple economics.

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-We've gone back to the Stone Age

-for inspiration.

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-We're both very excited

-aren't we, Jo Jo?

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-I shall discover my inner animal...

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-..and Jo Jo shall hunt me.

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-Why don't you try this at home?

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-Let's all discover

-our inner mammoth.

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-Grr!

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-Rule Number Two is called Hark Back.

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-Let's be honest, folks, life wasn't

-a barrel of laughs 100 years ago...

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-..for common people like me

-and one or two of you.

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-Life was tough.

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-The tyranny of the landowners.

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-Money was tight and belts were loose

-because there was no food.

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-The clothes people wore

-were bland and shapeless.

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-They felt like sacks.

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-And the shoes on your feet

-were full of holes.

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-All this makes it a superb period

-in which to set your musical.

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-Don't even consider

-writing about a period...

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-..later than the Great Strike

-of 1926.

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-What is there to be gained

-from a time when everyone was happy?

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-We don't need

-even the slightest hint of humour.

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-People had no reason to laugh,

-did they?

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-You can choose to squeeze in

-a short, comedic scene...

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-..when a drunkard

-is trying to speak English.

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-It always brings the house down.

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-Here's a line I wrote for a musical

-presentation recently as an example.

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-You know, sir, I no think you

-understand the understood...

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-..if you please.

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-I have comings this way

-when I should have goings that way.

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-But don't overdo it.

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-Dear me, no!

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-A laugh can be sheer folly

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-For us, treachery is key.

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-I wrote those lines of poetry.

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-Champion!

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-Oh, she knows her stuff.

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-Exercise number one - The Squat.

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-I am the sabre-toothed tiger.

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-I'm searching for my prey

-in the desert.

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-But oh! What has happened?

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-I can feel a blade approaching.

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-Jo Jo is squatting,

-as he sharpens his spear.

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-Squatting is good for strong thighs

-and a tight bottom.

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-****ing **** nettles!

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-****! Oh!

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-******!

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-Ah! ****!

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-**** f***** branches!

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-SNORING

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-HE BLOWS A RASPBERRY

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-If you come back after, fine.

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-If you don't come back after, fine!

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-.

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-Subtitles

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-Subtitles

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-HE BLOWS A RASPBERRY

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-Gutted!

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-All the credit to the mechanic,

-who was first to the breakdown.

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-I was struggling on the back foot.

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-I had to use my back foot

-to push the car up the hill.

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-It doesn't look good.

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-It may be out for four to six weeks.

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-I'm trying to stay positive

-but I'm gutted.

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-Gutted.

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-Cheers, but... sorry, I mean babes.

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-Exercise number two - wrestling.

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-In Welsh, we say 'from the age

-of bears and wolves'...

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-..to describe

-something old-fashioned.

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-Bears and wolves roamed the land

-in primeval times.

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-Bears, wolves and tigers...

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-..would sometimes wander into

-our ancestors' caves to steal food.

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-The male would wrestle the beast

-to protect his family.

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-Like this!

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-Grr!

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-Wrestling is good for general health

-and for getting endorphins flowing.

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-What's happened?

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-Jo Jo!

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-Jo Jo?

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-I must massage his chest.

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-No massage!

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-Very well.

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-We're accustomed to contacting any

-person anywhere by pushing a button.

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-We talk face-to-face

-with people in Australia.

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-What did we do before then?

-We phoned.

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-What if we didn't have a landline?

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-We spent hours in a kiosk pressing

-button A and button B...

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-..until we'd run out of pennies.

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-Before the phone, we wrote letters.

-What did we do before letters?

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-According to Welsh folk songs,

-we sent birds!

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-The Welsh used tweets

-years before Twitter!

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-The bird in this song

-was sent to Pwllheli.

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-There are two versions of the song -

-north and south.

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-I'll combine both versions.

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-I hope I don't confuse my bird!

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-This is Aderyn Du.

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-# O, blackbird

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-# With silky plumage

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-# A gold beak

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-# And silver tongue

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-# Will you now go

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-# O'er to Pwllheli

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-# To ask after

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-# The girl I love?

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-# Behold the house

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-# Behold the barn

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-# Behold, the byre door swings open

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-# Behold, there grows

-the big old tree

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-# Beneath its branches

-I'll be buried

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-# One, two, three things

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-# Give me difficulty

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-# First, counting stars

-When it's freezing, mm-hmm

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-# And reaching up

-To touch the bright moon

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-# Third, understanding

-My love's thinking

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-# Mm!

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-# O, blackbird

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-# You did your utmost

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-# You sang at night

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-# You sang at daybreak

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-# To your sweet song

-She turned a deaf ear

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-# A sad thing indeed

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-# Is unrequited love

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-# A sad thing indeed

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-# Is unrequited love #

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-HE BLOWS A RASPBERRY

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-The costumes

-are a vital part of any musical.

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-Fair play,

-some of them are wonderful.

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-But you must

-stick to the golden rule...

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-..if you want to ensure

-your costumes are a success.

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-This rule is called

-The Clue Is In The Colour.

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-It's about something

-you should never ever do.

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-When I say never...

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-..I mean never in a million,

-billion, trillion, gazillion years.

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-Never!

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-Listen, folks, there are

-no bright colours in Welsh musicals.

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-Brown is fine.

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-Black and grey are acceptable.

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-Beige is great.

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-Wear nothing

-but itchy Welsh tweed, please.

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-There is one exception.

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-Yes - the fat, English squire

-who wears a red jacket...

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-..with shiny, brass buttons.

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-He steals

-working class people's money...

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-..and he gets Leusa,

-our heroine, pregnant.

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-But we discover,

-in the fullness of time...

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-..that Robin the farmhand

-is actually the baby's father.

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-The baby is cruelly snatched

-from Leusa's arms...

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-..soon after she gives birth.

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-The baby is adopted

-and sent to London.

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-Robin is deported to Australia,

-leaving Leusa in terrible despair...

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-..and possibly

-gripped by insanity...

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-..or, even better, dead.

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-HE BLOWS A RASPBERRY

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-By the time he'd finished...

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-..he'd blown a massive hole

-in his pants and in his jeans...

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-..and in the sofa and in the floor!

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-There was such a huge hole

-in the foundations of the house...

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-..he built a cellar

-and a swimming pool.

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-No way.

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-No way.

-

-Yes way.

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-He felt much better for it,

-mind you.

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-It's good news, to be fair.

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-It's not as bad

-as it looked at first.

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-It'll be up and running

-quite quickly.

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-That's a good thing...

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-..because we need

-a bit of forward momentum.

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-At the end of the day,

-that's the direction we must take.

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-Forward.

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-Everyone's pleased,

-especially my mam.

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-She's been waiting for me

-outside the Co-op for three hours.

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-Immense!

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-KNOCKING SOUND

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-Not Winstone!

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-No, not Winstone!

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-Ouch! ****** ****!

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-The final exercise

-is called Run Away.

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-This time, I'll be the mammoth

-and I'll run after Jo Jo.

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-Running is a wonderful form

-of aerobic exercise.

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-Run for your life, Jo Jo!

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-Grr!

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-Oh, Jo Jo!

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-Oh, this is a waste of time!

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-There we are -

-the primitive workout.

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-I feel healthy, I feel fit

-and I feel primitive.

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-How do you feel, Jo Jo?

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-Right.

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-******* **** ****!

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-HE BLOWS A RASPBERRY

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-S4C subtitles by Eirlys A Jones

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-.

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Yr wythnos hon cawn gwrdd a Rosie O'Grady a'i ffrindiau mewn cyfres o sgetsus sy'n cynnwys pobl o gyffiniau'r Rhyl a neb arall! The sketches this week feature characters from Rhyl!