Rhaglen Fri, 16 Mar 2018 22:15 Jonathan

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-Right, welcome to the show.

-Well done last Sunday, Wales.

-For the first time ever,

-second is a tempting prospect.

-We're playing France tomorrow.

-Please give Sarra Elgan

-a mighty bonjour.

-As we all know,

-he wants to make an entrance.

-Nigel Owens, what are you tonight?

-# Hush

-# Hush

-# Hush #

-# Wake me up before you go-go

-# Don't leave me hanging on

-like a yo-yo

-# Wake me up before you go-go

-# I don't want to miss it

-when you hit that high

-# Wake me up before you go-go

-# Cause I'm not planning

-on going solo

-# Take me dancing tonight #

-Alright, Jiff? OK?

-Today is National Sleep Day.

-I needed sleep

-so I've been sleeping.

-You're fast asleep every Saturday!

-I am, listening to you

-on commentary!

-Same old story every week. "Numbers,

-numbers, got to get it out."

-Your PR machine has been in motion

-this week. It's gone up a few gears.

-What PR machine?

-What PR machine?

-

-Beer. You're doing beer.

-I don't make beer, no.

-What's that beer called?

-What's that beer called?

-

-Rug Birra.

-Birra is Italian for beer.

-Rug for rugby.

-At the bottom, the name of the beer

-is Nigel. You can buy it in Italy.

-Looks disgusting!

-Rug Birra Nigel. Tins.

-T-I-N-S. This Is Not Soccer.

-It tastes

-in between Mackeson and mild.

-Do you drink mild?

-Do you drink mild?

-

-I used to, in Trimsaran.

-Before he switched to Champagne.

-A bit like you, flat.

-Have you heard about Bagsy?

-Wales' answer to Banksy.

-I'm glad to say

-that he's done some of us three.

-You.

-Nigel Owens.

-You look like Ryan Giggs.

-You look like Ryan Giggs.

-

-You do. Very flattering.

-You, Jiffy!

-Jiffy bags

-cost more than plastic bags.

-You have the most wrinkles.

-I'm older than you.

-I'm older than you.

-

-It's past its sell-by-date. Old bag!

-Here are tonight's guests.

-# Can I lay by your side?

-You've lost your fuckin' head!

-# I can be your hero

-What do you like?

-What do you like?

-

-Rugby. Nigel Owens, butch!

-# Woof-woof-woof-woof!

-Goodness me! Honestly,

-it was like a draft excluder.

-# Just a word from her mouth

-and I want to flee

-# Think I want it to stay #

-Please welcome singer Lloyd Macey

-and Salon Queen Maggi Noggi.

-Welcome to the show.

-A warm welcome, Lloyd.

-It's like a cross

-between a porcupine and a giraffe.

-Which one would you prefer?

-You look amazing.

-You look amazing.

-

-I know!

-It's obvious that we share

-the same catalogue, Sarra!

-Yes indeed.

-How tall are you?

-How tall are you?

-

-Only seven foot two.

-That's tall but he's a big lad too.

-We're the same size lying down.

-He described me as a porcupine

-and a giraffe.

-He likes something

-with a long neck and a little prick.

-For shame on you, Nigel! You're

-on Dechrau Canu Dechrau Canmol.

-Lloyd, we know you like rugby.

-Did you play?

-Yes, I played second row.

-I played when I was younger.

-I watched Dad getting injured, his

-nose and ears. He's in the audience.

-Dad played too?

-He looks alright! He looks alright.

-From a distance.

-From a distance.

-

-You're handsome.

-I turned to singing then.

-How did your rugby-playing friends

-react to you on the X Factor?

-At the start, they were like,

-"You're going to sing?"

-I remember when I found out

-I was through to Live Shows.

-Everything changed then. Girls

-were getting in touch, "Oh, my God."

-Everything changed when I reached

-the Live Shows. They were so proud.

-Women are playing a lot of rugby.

-Can you play in those heels?

-You'd be surprised

-what I can do in these heels.

-I played rugby years ago.

-I was a hooker.

-Hooker? Six foot...

-Don't go there!

-I've never charged for anything.

-Seven foot two! Seven foot two

-hooker. How big were the props?

-That's not the point.

-Hookers complain all the time.

-We'll have a chat later. Here

-are the Italian game highlights.

-This is a crucial game now.

-New combinations.

-Will there be a new style?

-Hadleigh Parkes.

-He bumps the tackle.

-That was too easy. He's over.

-Owen Watkin intercepts. George North

-is coming up on the outside.

-Violi for the corner. Great feet

-from the full-back, Minozzi.

-At the second time of asking.

-Cory Hill.

-Patchell. The pass to George North.

-Plenty of red shirts on the right.

-Out on the wing is Justin Tipuric.

-Federico Ruzza.

-Ruzza to Mattia Bellini.

-Lloyd, where did you

-watch the game last Sunday?

-I watched it at the stadium.

-It was a great game, wasn't it?

-Have they asked you

-to sing the anthem?

-I've spoken to a few people.

-I hope so. That would be an honour.

-And you, Maggi,

-did you watch the game?

-Oh, yes. Myself and Nani Noggi

-were at the farm.

-Ani Noggi is...?

-Ani Noggi is...?

-

-Nain!

-She can't travel down to Cardiff,

-it's too far.

-We were watching at home,

-Nain was so excited.

-The polyester in her apron was

-all stiff watching the boys play.

-Stiff polyester!

-Stiff polyester!

-

-We did well. Isn't that right?

-We did well, Lloyd bach and Jiffy!

-Why are you winking?

-All you've done is wink.

-You never wink at me like that.

-It's a twitch.

-It's just started now.

-He's twitching in fear!

-Sarra, tonight's news.

-Sarra, tonight's news.

-

-After being caught spitting...

-..Jamie Carragher faces the press

-for the first time.

-One mother was ecstatic...

-..when she discovered

-where she'd spend Mothering Sunday.

-Look at her face!

-I saw her on Saturday.

-She didn't look happy all game.

-After the success of Nigel's beer...

-..Luke Charteris

-jumps on the bandwagon.

-And that's the news.

-That's all for this part.

-Scott Quinnell scored a try

-against France in 1994.

-Who scored the try

-that secured victory for Wales?

-I'll give you the answer

-after the break.

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-Right, welcome back.

-Nige, what was the answer?

-It was a good question.

-Scott Quinnell scored a try

-against France in 1994.

-Who scored the try

-that secured victory for Wales?

-The answer is...

-Flash!

-Nigel!

-His nickname was Flash.

-Because he was fast?

-Because he was fast?

-

-Well done!

-Right, after watching you

-on the X Factor, Lloyd...

-..did you always want to sing?

-You can sing, of course,

-but did you always want to do that?

-I think so.

-I always competed in eisteddfodau.

-I've always liked performing.

-It runs in the family too.

-Mam-gu, my father, all the family.

-Coming from the Rhondda

-with the choirs.

-I always wanted to sing.

-It all changed in Year 1 at school.

-My teacher, Mrs Millington,

-she was fantastic.

-She said I had a loud voice

-for a boy.

-I thought, "OK."

-She said I had a singing voice.

-I thought, "OK." I was shy

-in school, believe it or not.

-I didn't speak a lot.

-She told me to stand on the table

-one Friday and sing Robin Goch.

-Your big break came on the X Factor.

-How did you end up there? Did anyone

-push you to do the auditions?

-The crowds are massive.

-To be honest, I didn't put

-too much pressure on myself.

-I did a performance course.

-During the course, we finished

-early one Friday morning.

-I was walking around the city,

-in St David's.

-I walked past Poundland.

-I saw an empty shop

-with X on the door.

-I had my earphones in

-and I was singing.

-A girl came out and said, "Come

-and audition for the X Factor."

-I thought, "Have a try."

-I went in and sang.

-I didn't hear a thing until July.

-What was it like singing

-in front of the judges?

-It's different to an eisteddfod.

-The room is massive.

-You walk in and see

-Louis Walsh, Simon Cowell...

-..Sharon Osbourne and Alesha Dixon.

-It was just incredible to stand in

-front of these influential people.

-Mam-gu was on the panel by then.

-It made everything

-feel more comfortable.

-I didn't sing for 10 minutes

-because she was talking to Simon.

-It was great,

-the response was excellent.

-You're not the only Welsh star

-who's appeared on the X Factor.

-Do you remember this?

-# Whoa-hoah-hoah-hoah

-# Mysterious girl

-# Move your body close to mine

-# Move your body close to mine

-

-C'mon, move your body.

-# I try to concentrate,

-my mind wants to explode

-To explode.

-# When I look at you,

-oh, I fall in love

-# No doubt you look so fine

-# I want to make you mine

-Yeah, come on.

-# Just let me be

-with the woman that I love #

-The woman that I love.

-When you watch TV, you think,

-"Here we go now."

-Next you hear,

-"These are from Wales."

-You think, "Oh, no."

-From Barry. They were Seb and Ant.

-The one singing was alright.

-What was the other one doing?

-They didn't show this on telly...

-..but the day I went in,

-no-one had gone through.

-I was the first of the day.

-After Bootcamp, you had the problem

-with the Wall of Song.

-What's the Wall of Song?

-You had to run up to the wall

-and choose the song from the wall.

-I ran up, someone bumped into me,

-my contacts fell out...

-..and I couldn't see a thing.

-My eyes are terrible!

-My eyes are terrible!

-

-You were a second row!

-I never wore contacts during a game!

-I ran to the wall and chose a song.

-I was walking round asking,

-"What song have I got?"

-I didn't know what I was singing.

-I changed it and changed it again.

-Thankfully,

-I chose a song that was alright.

-Maggi, are you a fan?

-I love it.

-If he hadn't gone through

-to the Live Shows...

-..I'd have thrown myself like a

-whale at the bus with Louis Walsh.

-He has a face like a fart!

-He does, a face like a fart.

-He was very nice to you, though.

-He did so well, he made us proud.

-He claps in an odd way.

-Louis Walsh. He claps like a seal.

-After Bootcamp, you had the Six

-Chair Challenge. Was that difficult?

-It's worse than it looks.

-I was first to walk out and I won.

-I sat there

-for three and a half hours.

-You don't see it all on TV.

-I remember, there were more

-male singers than they showed.

-Someone sat next to me, then went.

-All I wanted

-was to go to the toilet.

-I'm so glad they didn't show this.

-I remember the audience response.

-It was like being in the Coliseum.

-Everyone was shouting.

-My family were screaming.

-Tactically, I waved to everyone,

-I was there for three hours.

-I was getting people on my side.

-At the end, I thought I was safe.

-There was a sing-off

-between two of the singers.

-I was asked and I stood up

-and thought, "I have to do this."

-I've not been sitting here waiting

-for the toilet for three hours.

-I want to go through.

-We all want to know what Simon

-and Sharon are like off camera.

-They're so lovely.

-Simon's not as tall as you think.

-He wears Cuban heels.

-I still text Sharon

-and I text Ozzy Osbourne too.

-I speak to him sometimes.

-He's always in the dressing room

-having a cuppa.

-It was so surreal to sit with him.

-I remember Stormzy walking past.

-I said, "Alright, butt."

-Then I realised I'd said

-"Alright, butt" to Stormzy.

-I said I'd just met Storm.

-"No, it's Stormzy."

-I'm not into grime!

-What stands out for you?

-That one moment.

-One moment? That's a good question.

-I think it's when I sang

-Different Corner by George Michael.

-Here's a clip.

-Here's a clip.

-

-# Take me back in time

-# Baby, I can't forget

-# Turn a different corner

-# And we never would have met

-# Would you care? #

-What did that feel like?

-What did that feel like?

-

-I can't believe it happened.

-I forgot where I was,

-I was lost in the moment.

-Sharon was still crying

-in the dressing room.

-She cried through that.

-Afterwards, she said,

-"I've never felt like that before."

-You were fourth and you were

-on the recent X Factor tour.

-What was it like

-being with the cast again?

-Incredible.

-Every venue was different.

-The crowd responded

-in different ways.

-Cardiff was the best night.

-I won the night!

-It was fantastic.

-I walked out with the Wales flag.

-Had I not won,

-it wouldn't have been great.

-Life changed for you

-after the X Factor.

-My life has changed completely. I'm

-grateful to everyone on the show.

-I walk down the street at home...

-..and people walk up to me

-wanting selfies.

-The response is still there.

-The support was the main thing.

-Wales has always supported me.

-We get responses from The

-Philippines, Mexico and Australia.

-I hadn't realised

-how many people watch.

-One minute to go.

-One minute to go.

-

-Let's Hit the Bar.

-Who's on the bar tonight?

-Who's on the bar tonight?

-

-We did well to fit him on the bar.

-It's the big Bastareaud.

-Bastareaud.

-He can't fit between the posts!

-Who's holding the balls?

-What's your name?

-Elis. I'm from Bridgend.

-Oh, good, Bridgend.

-Well done, out you come.

-Up you come, Lloyd.

-I was a second row

-so don't expect a lot.

-You have 20 seconds. Hit Bastareaud

-and you'll score 10 points.

-Between the posts, five points.

-Hit him with the golden ball...

-..and we'll double the points.

-Ready? Your 20 seconds...

-Elis, ready?

-Your 20 seconds start now.

-Elis, hold the balls tighter!

-Three, two.

-What was his score?

-What was his score?

-

-Well done, Lloyd Macey!

-That's it for this part.

-Before we go, here's Ryan Jones

-to tell us why he loves Wales.

-Best Welsh memory.

-The stand-off against the Haka,

-once in a lifetime.

-The one I miss the most

-is walking down that tunnel...

-..with a full house

-at the Principality Stadium.

-First to the buffet

-would probably be me...

-..but closely followed

-by my cuddly mate Adam Jones.

-I wouldn't go on a round with

-Goughie, he never brings his wallet.

-The last person I wanted to

-sit next to was Gethin Jenkins.

-I had to listen to his banging

-beats, drum'n'bass and dance music.

-Worst roommate was Gavin Henson.

-He travelled with more accessories

-than my wife did.

-Favourite thing about match day.

-Representing that badge,

-pulling on that jersey.

-Post warm-up, walking in, the

-adrenaline pumping, heart pumping.

-Pulling that jersey on...

-..and preparing to play

-in front of all those people.

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-Welcome back.

-Where do you come from, Maggi?

-I come from a village called

-Llanfair Mathafarn Eithaf.

-Try saying that after a gin.

-I'd struggle sober.

-I grew up on a farm.

-I'm a country girl.

-We've seen you on Y Salon.

-What else have you done?

-I'm a style and fashion consultant

-for Merched Y Wawr.

-I was a chapel-goer.

-You'd be proud, Nigel, presenter

-of Dechrau Canu Dechrau Canmol.

-Every Sunday I'd be at Blodwen's

-who is obsessed with and stalks you.

-She has your pictures

-all over her larder.

-We watch you until

-the seats were damp.

-Why has Y Salon been such a success?

-Why has Y Salon been such a success?

-

-Me.

-It's about normal people being

-allowed to give their opinion.

-Describe Y Salon to people.

-A Welsh language version of

-Gogglebox in a hair-dressing salon.

-Salons all over Wales with people

-chatting about what's on their mind.

-Donald Trump and

-that daft bird we have as PM.

-We get to hear what

-normal people think of them.

-I have lots of opinions.

-Nigel's face looks blank.

-I was watching you wave your

-fanny, sorry fan, in front of me.

-My fanny!

-What a waste,

-he's gay and I'm straight!

-You were given

-your own show at Christmas.

-Yes, one of my own.

-Salon Maggi Noggi.

-That was with Joyce,

-the 82 year old.

-She's found a reason to live,

-being on television.

-We found a few people in Bangor

-who thought they were celebs.

-We dragged in Dewi Pws

-and Yws Gwynedd off the street.

-Do you have a crush on him?

-Yes, but he's only little.

-These two aren't fucking listening.

-He doesn't understand

-a word you say.

-I was telling him about Yws Gwynedd.

-I was telling him about Yws Gwynedd.

-

-He's great on that guitar.

-He's a pretty little thing.

-He's a pretty little thing.

-

-He is pretty.

-But, he's quite short.

-But, he's quite short.

-

-He is short.

-He said my hair smelled gorgeous.

-He only comes up to here.

-You got that one!

-You got that one!

-

-A little Femfresh goes a long way.

-I need more than Femfresh.

-He's all of a quiver.

-Were you surprised by the reaction?

-Wales had just been waiting for me.

-Pardon me!

-You like being the star attraction?

-You like being the star attraction?

-

-No!

-Have you ever competed?

-I thought about competing

-in the Literature Tent.

-They didn't like my poetry.

-Tell us.

-I've forgotten it now.

-It was called Auntie Nell's Dildo.

-It was quite emotional but I was

-banned from the Literature Tent.

-So I just headed off

-for Caffi Maes B instead.

-We had a lot of fun. I hadn't

-been since I was a little girl.

-I've never been a little girl mind.

-You and I have something in common.

-I know what it is.

-I know what it is.

-

-We haven't been honoured.

-Don't start him off!

-Don't start him off!

-

-I sang at the Urdd.

-That's brilliant!

-You haven't been honoured

-by the Bardic Gorsedd.

-He's been honoured.

-I have a bardic name lined up.

-Hwch Mon - Anglesey Sow.

-You've got a better chance

-than this guy.

-Why do they call you Jiffy? Lloyd,

-love, you're too young to remember.

-There were condoms called Jiffy.

-They had the best advert ever.

-Real men come in a Jiffy.

-Is that true?

-Is that true?

-

-That's the story.

-I was out in France

-and I saw a banner.

-They had a player named Jean Condom.

-The banner read 'Our Jiffy

-is better than your Condom.'

-Do they like you on Anglesey?

-They love me.

-I represent and exemplify -

-fucking hell, what does that mean?

-I must have swallowed a dictionary.

-Exemplify or reflect.

-Exemplify or reflect.

-

-He gets that.

-I reflect the spirit of Wales.

-What do men think of you?

-Irresistible?

-I am single!

-I'd never think that.

-I'd never think that.

-

-It is hard to believe.

-He gets it.

-I'm single because why buy a book

-when you can go to the library.

-Nigel knows.

-Who is your perfect man?

-Who is your perfect man?

-

-Matthew Gravelle.

-Look at that.

-This seat is really damp now.

-Sorry, Lloyd. Slide over a bit.

-What do you like about him?

-I love a bald man.

-I love a bald man.

-

-You like Nigel too?

-Imagine, Nigel and Matthew.

-Look here, you needn't imagine.

-Oh, Nigel!

-I look like a boiled egg.

-I look like a boiled egg.

-

-You're so hot.

-On that subject, Lisa Angharad

-has been investigating...

-..the Welsh and

-French fans' attitude to love.

-Did you know French people can't

-count above seventy? Why is that?

-They find sixty-nine

-too much of a mouthful.

-I don't write the script.

-I'm here to find the

-best chat up lines of rugby fans.

-What are doing tonight?

-I've got a place for you to stay.

-Right, is that it?

-Right, is that it?

-

-It's enough.

-When someone asks for my

-phone number I normally say...

-..'Wait 'til you're asked

-and join the queue'.

-Me too.

-Me too.

-

-That's not what I've heard.

-Would anyone like to swallow...

-Would anyone like to swallow...

-

-Would anyone like to swallow...

-Do you have home insurance?

-Yes, why? Because I'm going

-to smash your back doors in.

-Did he smash them?

-Did he smash them?

-

-No.

-It didn't work.

-You have nice legs.

-When do they open?

-One thing invented in France

-was the French kiss.

-I think we've all

-had enough foreplay.

-Let's see how the Welsh kiss.

-Sloppy seconds.

-Caress!

-We're having a baguette caress.

-French kiss the baguette.

-If that doesn't help you pull

-on match day, try Tinder.

-Sacre bleu!

-You know Lisa Angharad.

-You know Lisa Angharad.

-

-What did you call her?

-Lisa Angharad.

-That's not her name,

-she's a drag queen.

-Is that true, Lisa?

-Sorry, Jiff.

-I didn't know how to tell you.

-I told you.

-I told you.

-

-Minute to go.

-Time to Hit the Bar.

-Come on, Maggi.

-Elis is crapping himself.

-Come here, Lloyd.

-I want more appropriate shoes.

-A bit better.

-Maggi, you have twenty seconds.

-Between the posts for five,

-ten for hitting Bastareaud.

-Double points for the golden ball.

-Twenty seconds starting now.

-Sorry, love.

-Three, two...

-Sarra Elgan, what was Maggi's score?

-Maggi Noggi scored 45.

-Well done.

-Are you debating my score?

-Are you debating my score?

-

-I wanted a 69.

-There's no 69 in this game.

-We all want a 69 but

-we can't always get what we want.

-See you after the break.

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-Welcome back. Here's the bit

-of the show Nigel loves the most.

-The bit of the show

-everyone loves the most.

-Time for Nigel's Tricks.

-We need a member of the audience

-to take part.

-There is a golden whistle

-under one of your seats.

-Whoever finds the whistle,

-stand on your feet.

-Excellent.

-Hold that. What your name?

-Hold that. What your name?

-

-Debbie.

-Where are you from?

-Where are you from?

-

-Barry.

-Are you ready to play?

-Are you ready to play?

-

-Yes.

-Nigel has been taking charge

-of this section every week.

-As it's the final show, we thought

-he should compete this time.

-Jiff will be standing on that.

-You'll have ten seconds

-to answer a question.

-There are a lot of possible answers.

-Give as many as you can.

-If you get 25 correct answers

-between you, you win the boots.

-If not, it's one of these.

-Elis, out here.

-Care in the community.

-I'll be okay once I'm up.

-Ten seconds for

-as many answers as possible.

-It's balance.

-Name things you do with one hand.

-Brushing your teeth.

-Hair.

-Wipe your arse.

-Wipe your arse.

-

-Wipe your arse.

-Four scored.

-That was rubbish.

-Lloyd Macey.

-We'll never get 25.

-Core work, Lloyd.

-Start the clock.

-Name things associated with France.

-Frogs' legs, Eiffel Tower, Paris.

-Beret, baguette, onions.

-Better than Jiffy.

-You scored six to make it ten.

-We'll have Nigel next.

-Come on, Nige.

-You don't need help.

-Look at the smart Alec.

-What did you say?

-Stand there, Elis.

-Ten seconds on the clock.

-Name our guests this series.

-Maggi, Lloyd, Brynmor,

-you, me and Jonathan.

-You can't have us as guests.

-# It's all about you #

-Pathetic, pathetic.

-You scored three.

-Maggi, the pressure is on.

-The pressure is on.

-I need some help.

-I need some help.

-

-You need twelve.

-Are you joking?

-Talk fast.

-Talk fast.

-

-They don't ask for much!

-Spread your legs or

-you'll never balance.

-I've got into trouble with that!

-I'm ready to go for it.

-Ten seconds on the clock.

-Ten seconds on the clock.

-

-I'm Wonder Woman.

-Name things you put in your mouth.

-Toothbrush, Nigel Owens.

-Matthew Gravelle, Michael Portillo.

-KFC, Brains faggots.

-Paracetamol.

-This is lovely.

-Twenty of the required twenty-five.

-That's one boot.

-It's the last show of the series

-so you can have both.

-Well done.

-I enjoyed that. Time for

-some more of Andy's Memories next.

-ANDY'S MEMORIES

-How the Devil are you?

-Welcome to Atgofion Andy.

-So you're back for some vo...

-So you're back for

-some more Atgofion Andy.

-Let the show begin.

-2012, what a year. Shane Williams

-scoring against the Scots.

-Yes, we partied hard in the night.

-And it was Buggygate.

-I took it down the M4

-for a pack of fags.

-I was caught in the service station

-and they locked my friend up.

-They took me for a Sausage,

-Egg McMuffin meal in Cardiff.

-There was the legend,

-Shane Williams...

-..asleep in the doorway

-of the Walkabout.

-What a guy he was

-and what a day it was.

-I still cherish that moment.

-You've conquered TV, so what's next?

-I have a few stage shows coming up.

-That's with Lisa Angharad,

-as she calls herself.

-Cabarela at Theatr Felinfach,

-Aberaeron in April.

-Then on to the Millennium Centre

-also in April.

-After that, keep an eye on S4C.

-I'll be all over it like a rash.

-What's next, Lloyd?

-I'm recording an album

-in London and Cardiff.

-So, parts in London

-and parts in Wales.

-Yes, studios in London and Cardiff.

-I'm booked for a lot of concerts

-during the summer.

-I'm hoping to release

-a single soon too.

-I'll be doing something

-with Alun Wyn Jones.

-His testimonial year.

-His testimonial year.

-

-I'm looking forward to that.

-See if you can get a smile.

-See if you can get a smile.

-

-I hope so.

-Can Wales beat France?

-Can Wales beat France?

-

-Wales for me.

-England against Ireland?

-I'm hoping Ireland.

-Will they win?

-Will they win?

-

-I think Ireland, they've done well.

-France vs Wales?

-France vs Wales?

-

-We'll hammer them.

-Ireland vs England?

-Ireland vs England?

-

-Praying for Ireland.

-Sexy Sexton!

-As good Celts we want

-to hammer the English.

-A huge day. A grand slam

-on St Patrick's Day.

-A bonus for Simon if they win.

-A bonus for Simon if they win.

-

-Is he wildly excited?

-Looking forward, I think.

-Winning would be amazing for them.

-Wales vs France?

-Wales vs France?

-

-Wales.

-Ireland?

-Ireland?

-

-Yes, Ireland.

-No answer from you as usual.

-No answer from you as usual.

-

-No, what about Italy vs Scotland?

-Scotland, Wales and Ireland for me.

-Good boy, Jiff.

-Thanks to our guests,

-Maggi Noggi and Lloyd Macey.

-It's the end of the series. Here's

-Sion Tomos Owen with the highlights.

-# Wales off to a flying start

-# Nige serving up Mars bars

-# Jiff and Brynmor

-tanned from Barbados

-# Happy days with

-one win and no loss

-# Gwyneth from Game of Thrones

-talking about playing hooker

-# Everyone in Shane's panto and

-Sarra beating Jiff at Snooker

-# Andy Powell reminiscing

-like a drunken lunatic

-# Nige showing off,

-dressed up like a Dick - van Dyke

-# Emma from Eden

-with a bit of armless fun

-# Lisa baring all like

-the streaker from Twickenham

-# Steff ballet dancing in jeans

-that were far too tight

-# Pictionary images

-that were a horrible sight

-# Elin singing opera

-while the Paralympics were on

-# Lisa pissed on Guinness

-and Nige the Leprechaun

-# Nicky serenading us

-with a Take That song

-# While speakout

-made them all sound very wrong

-# Nick Knowles

-called Nigel a bloody cheat

-# But in Murrayfield

-they think he's pretty neat

-# Nick's been deleted,

-blocked and kicked to touch

-# By 3 million Welsh

-who don't like him very much

-# Welsh Whisperer sang

-with that moustache so beautiful

-# Gillian Elisa terrified us

-with tales so horrible

-# Nige and Sarra predicted

-many, many sunny days ahead

-# But the Beast from the East

-emptied the shops of milk and bread

-# Our fingers will

-be crossed tomorrow

-# Grand Slams for the Irish

-and those chariots not on show

-# All Welsh hopes

-now hanging on a lace

-# Let's whisper it, but we'd be

-fairly happy with second place #

-Thanks for viewing, good luck to

-Wales and see you later in the year.

-Goodnight.

-S4C Subtitles by Adnod Cyf.