Madness Live at Eden

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

# Received a letter just the other day

# Don't seem they want to know you no more

# They've laid it down Given you their score

# Within the first two lines it bluntly read

# You're not to come and see us no more

# Keep away from our door

# Don't come around here no more

# What on earth did you do that for?

# Our aunt, she don't wanna know She says

# What will the neighbours think? They'll think

# We don't, that's what they'll think, we don't

# But I will, cos I know they think I don't

# Our uncle he don't want to know, he says

# We are a disgrace to the human race, he says

# How can you show your face

# When you're a disgrace to the human race?

SAXOPHONE SOLO

A disgrace to the human race!

SAXOPHONE SOLO

# Made a commitment, you're an embarrassment

# Yes, an embarrassment, a living endorsement

# The intention that you have booked

# Was an intention that was overlooked

# They say stay away

# Don't want you home today

# Keep away from our door

# And don't come round here no more

# Our dad, don't wanna know He says,

# This is a serious matter

# Too late to reconsider

# Nobody's gonna wanna know ya

# Our mum, she don't wanna know, she says

# I'm feeling twice as old, she says

# Thought she had a head on her shoulders

# Cos I'm feeling

# Feeling

# Feeling

# Twice as older

Twice as older! Three times as older!

Four times as older!

Older! Older!

SAXOPHONE SOLO

# You're an embarrassment. #

And there ain't a damn thing I can do about it!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

# And Buster, he sold the heat

-CROWD:

-# With a rock-steady beat

# An earthquake is erupting

# But not in Orange Street

# A ghost-dance is preparing

# You got to help us with your feet

# If you're not in the mood to dance

# Step back, grab yourself a seat

# This may not be uptown Jamaica

# But we promise you a treat

# Buster bowl me over with your bogus dance

# And shuffle me off my feet

# Even if I kept on running

# I'd never get to Orange Street

# No

# No

INSTRUMENTAL

It's Buster!

# Buster bowl me over with your bogus dance

# And shuffle me off my feet

# Even if I kept on running

# I'd never, never get to Orange Street

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls,

and you sir,

those of you of a nervous disposition on prescribed medication

leave the auditorium now.

Be afraid, be very afraid.

In the blue corner, it's Mr Lee J "Kix" Thompson.

SAXOPHONE SOLO

Dynamite! Dynamite!

Dynamite!

# Bring back the...

# Yeah, we want the...

# Who is the...

# Bring back the Prince. #

God rest his soul.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Lovely.

I've got to say, what a lovely part of the world this is.

CHEERING

I tell you what, if the weather was like this

for more than one week a year, I'm down here!

CHEERING

Mrs May. Mrs May.

Mr and Mrs May.

# A devout and well respected man

# Woe betide you if you wander from God's plan

# Square shouldered, straight as a die

# The righteous truth that never tell you no lies

# But when that old sun go down

# Heading off up the wrong side of town

# The eyes sparkle in the red light glow

# Trouser pockets ready to go

# Oooooooooooooooooh

# Calm down, Mr Apples

# You're going to do

# You're going to do yourself in

# Now tell us where you've been

# Head of the table at the Rotary club

# Never unsure of which shoulders you should rub

# Scout leader, a pillar of the church

# Capital punishment

# He wants to bring back the birch

# Of course he does

# But when that old sun go down

# He's heading off up the wrong side of town

# The eyes sparkle in the red light glow

# Trouser pockets

# You know, you know

# Ooooooooooooooooh

# Calm down, Mr Apples

# You're going to do

# You're going to do yourself in

# Tell us where you've been

# And oh-oh-oh-oh

# Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh

# Calm down, Mr Apples

# You're going to wear

# You're going to wear yourself out

# And what's it all about?

Austerity?

I don't think so.

I don't think so.

The investment in the people.

In the people, in the people.

# His eyes sparkle in the red light glow

# Trouser pockets

# Ready to go

# Oh, no

# Ooooooooooooooooooh

# Calm down, Mr Apples

# You're going to do

# I told you, do yourself in

# Tell us where you've been

# And oh-oh-oh-oh

# Oh-oh-oh-oh

# Calm down, Mr Apples

# You're going to wear

# Wear, wear, wear yourself out

# And what's it all about?

# What's it all about?

I tried to say.

I tried to say.

What's it all about?

You know what it's all about.

It's about us. That's what it's about.

It's about us! Not them!

It's about us.

# What's it all about? #

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Thank you very much, yeah.

Before I was rudely interrupted by Chris, our guitarist,

when we started the band in 1946-47,

just after the Second World War...

..we used to rehearse in Monsieur Barso's bedroom.

CHEERING

Unsung hero. Look at him.

He's glowing with pride.

Who could have imagined?

I remember one time we were playing this song

and I thought, that ain't bad.

And...

# My girl's mad at me

# I didn't want to see the film tonight

# I found it hard to say

# She thought I'd had enough of her

# Why can't she see

# She's lovely to me

# But I like to stay in

# And watch TV on my own

# Every now and then

Not the football again!

# My girl's mad at me

# Been on the telephone for an hour

# And we hardly said a word

# I tried and tried but I could not be heard

# Why can't I explain

# Why do I feel this pain

# Cos everything I say

# She doesn't understand

# She doesn't realise

# And takes it all the wrong way

Hey, Monsieur Barso!

KEYBOARD SOLO

# My girl's mad at me

# We argued just the other night

# I thought we'd got it straight

# We talked and talked until it was light

# And I thought we'd agreed

# I thought we'd talked it out

# Now when I try to speak

# She says that I don't care

# She says I'm unaware

# And then she says I'm weak. #

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

I dedicate this to Chris. It's his favourite song.

He never tires of playing this one.

# I tell you I didn't do it

# Cos I wasn't there

# Don't blame me, it just isn't fair

# You listened to their side Now listen to mine

# Can't think of a story

# Sure you'll find me some time

# Now pass the blame and don't blame me

# Just close your eyes and count to three

Come on!

One, two, three!

# Then I'll be gone and you'll forget

# The broken window, TV set

# Well, it wasn't me either I'm just his mate

# He told me to stand here and watch the gate

# I've got a wife and three kids, you know

# They'll tell you I'm straight, at least I think so

# I'm as honest as the day is long

# The longer the daylight, the less I do wrong

# Now pass the blame and don't blame me

# Just close your eyes and count to three

One, two, three!

# Then I'll be gone and you'll forget

# The broken window, TV set

GUITAR SOLO

# Pass the blame and don't blame me

# Just close your eyes and count to three

If you can. One, two, three!

# Then I'll be gone and I'll forget

# That what you give is what you get. #

Unfortunately.

What you give is what you get.

In equal parts.

INSTRUMENTAL

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Gracias, gracias.

# Take time for your pleasure

# Laugh with love

# Take the hand of another

# And sing for the wings of a dove

# Whoa-oh, whoa-oh

# For the wings of a dove

# Whoa-oh, whoa-oh

# For the wings of a dove

# Look up at the rooftops

# When you're walking round

# And don't think for a moment

# Of looking down

# Whoa-oh, whoa-oh

# For the wings of a dove

# Whoa-oh, whoa-oh

# For the wings of a dove

# Whoa-oh, whoa-oh

# For the wings of a dove

# Whoa-oh, whoa-oh

# For the wings of a dove

Here we go.

This is for the wig boys. For the wig boys, here we go.

Down, down, down, down.

# Hallelujah

# Look up at the rooftops

# When you're walking round

# Don't think for a moment

# Of looking down

# A room at the top

# Where we're not allowed

# But cheer to the echo

# Can you hear the sound?

# Whoa-oh, whoa-oh

# For the wings of a dove

# Whoa-oh, whoa-oh

# For the wings of a dove

# Whoa-oh, whoa-oh

# For the wings of a dove

# Whoa-oh, whoa-oh

# For the wings of a dove

In the words of that great philosopher, John Lennon,

"Peace! Peace!"

Peace!

War is over.

Here we go.

# Whoa-oh, whoa-oh

# For the wings of a dove

# Whoa-oh, whoa-oh

# For the wings of a dove

# Whoa-oh, whoa-oh

# For the wings of a dove

# Whoa-oh, whoa-oh

# For the wings of a dove

# Whoa-oh, whoa-oh

# For the wings of a dove

# Whoa-oh, whoa-oh

# For the wings of a dove

# Whoa-oh, whoa-oh

# For the wings of a dove

# Whoa-oh, whoa-oh

# For the wings of a dove. #

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

For the things that I've done.

For the things that I've done.

Regrets.

Too many to mention, sunshine!

Sunshine! Who's this little fella here? What's his name here?

Yeah, what's his name?

Robert? All right, Robert, mate?

CHEERING

He nodded off briefly. He's all right now. He's back. He's back.

Hello, mate. Fancy meeting you here!

Easy, tiger!

I forgot what I was going to say.

I'm going to burn your soul.

Into a black lump of c-c-coal.

Goodnight.

# Lucifer, Son of the Mourning

# I'm going to chase you out of Earth

Know what I'm saying?

Chase you out of Earth.

# I'm going to put on an iron shirt

# Chase the devil out of Earth

# I'm going to put on an iron shirt

# Chase Satan out of Earth

# I'm going to send him to outer space

# To find another race

# I'm going to send him to outer space

# To find another race

# Satan is an evilous man

# But he won't mix it with this man

# If I find him with a gun in his hand

# I'm going to send him from the land

# And I'm going to put on an iron shirt

# Chase the devil out of Earth

# I'm going to put on an iron shirt

# Chase Satan out of Earth

# And I'm going to send him to outer space

# To find another race

# I'm going to...

# Satan is an evilous man

# He can't mix it with this man

# If I find him with a gun in his hand

# I'm going to banish him I'm going to banish him

Trombone!

TROMBONE SOLO

Trombone!

Let the fish... Let the fishes go free.

Let the fishes go free.

# Satan is an evilous man

# He can't mix it with this man

# And if I catch him with a gun in his hand

# I'm going to send him from the land. #

Let's have some trumpet!

T-t-trumpet! Little Joe, blow!

TRUMPET SOLO

Trumpet!

I'm not going to go on about it but it's like I say.

Satan is an evilous man, right.

And he can stick it.

We've had enough of all that.

Enough of all that.

Sax!

SAXOPHONE SOLO

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Go like this. Go like this.

# When I get home it's late at night

# I'm black and bloody from my life

# I haven't time to clean my hands

# Cuts will only sting me through my dreams

# It's well past midnight as I lie

# In a semi-conscious state

# I dream of people fighting me

# Without any reason I can see

# In the morning I awake

# My arms my legs, my body ache

# The sky outside is wet and grey

# So begins another weary day

# So begins another weary day

# After eating I go out

# People passing by me shout

# I can't stand this agony

# Why don't they talk to me?

# In the park I have to rest

# I lie down and I do my best

# The rain is falling on my face

# I wish I could sink without a trace

# In the morning I awake

# My arms, my legs, my body aches

# The sky outside is wet and grey

# So begins another weary day

# So begins another weary day

# In the park I have to rest

# I lie down and I do my best

# The rain is falling on my face

# I wish I could sink without a trace

# In the morning I awake

# My arms, my legs, my body aches

# The sky outside is wet and grey

# So begins another weary day

# So begins another weary day

# So begins another weary day

# So begins another weary day

# Hey

# What do you want if you don't want money?

INSTRUMENTAL

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

I'd like to dedicate this to the Houndleys.

# I went home with you

# I'm so happy I could cry

# Went home with you

# Scary, I could die

# Being with you

# It sets the world alive

# There's no illusion

# There's no confusion

# Just a rollercoaster ride

# You're so hungry for life

# But with each slice

# And each and every bite

# I feel you digging deeper and deeper

# Into my soul

# I'll be your cushion for crying out loud

# I'll be your stick when you're battling the crowd

# Your navigator, a bunch of heads in the clouds

# But don't let, don't let them catch you crying

INSTRUMENTAL

I've got to tell you, yeah.

# When I'm with you

# I'm so happy I could cry

# When I'm with you

# I'm so happy I could die

# Cos you know

# You're so hungry for life

# And with each slice

# And each and every bite

# I feel you digging deeper and deeper

# Into my soul

# I'll be your cushion for crying out loud

# I'll be your stick when you're battling the crowd

# Your navigator, a bunch of heads in the clouds

# But don't let, don't let them catch you crying

SAXOPHONE SOLO

# When I'm with you

# I'm so happy I could cry

# When I'm with you

# It's so scary I could die

# Cos

# You're so hungry for life

# But with each and every slice

# I feel you digging

# Deeper and deeper into God's soul

# I'll be your cushion for crying out loud

# I'll be your stick when you're battling the crowd

# Your navigator, a bunch of heads in the clouds

# But don't let, don't let them catch you crying

# Went home with you

# Don't let them catch you crying. #

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Thank you.

# Good morning, miss

# Can I help you, son?

# 16 today and up for fun

# I'm a big boy now or so they say

# So if you'll serve I'll be on my way

# Box of balloons with the feather-light touch

# A pack of party-poppers that pop in the night

# A toothbrush and hairspray Plastic grin

# Miss Clay on all corners has just walked in

# Welcome to the house of fun Now I've come of age

# Welcome to the house of fun

# Welcome to the lion's den Temptation's on his way

# Welcome to the house of...

# N-n-n-n-n-n-no no, miss You have misunderstood

# Sixteen today Big boy in my manhood

# I'm up to date and the date's today

# So if you'll serve I'll be on my way

# Welcome to the house of fun Now I've come of age

# Welcome to the lion's den Temptation's on his way

# Welcome to the house of...

Of, erm... Fun.

Big in the '60s.

# I'm sorry, son, but we don't stock

# Party gimmicks in this shop

# Try the house of fun It's quicker if you run

# This is a chemist not a joke shop

# Party hats Simple enough clear

# Comprehende, savvy, understand Do you hear?

# A pack of party hats with the coloured tips

# Too late

# Gorgon's heard gossip

# Well, well, well, hello, Joe Hello, Miss Clay

# Happy returns from the day

# Welcome to the house of fun Now I've come of age

# Welcome to the house of fun

# Welcome to the lion's den Temptation's on his way

# Welcome to the house of fun

# Yeah, yeah

# Welcome to the house of fun Now I've come of age

# Welcome to the house of fun

# Welcome to the lion's den Temptation's on his way

# Welcome to the house of... #

Officer.

Officer.

Surely some mistake.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Thank you so very much.

What a beautiful evening, you know.

I'm telling you what,

I'm telling you what,

I'm telling you right now...

..it ain't a bad way to make a living, I've got to tell you.

See all these people,

all these, you know, all that.

Then you see the young people. Who's this here? What's his name?

-CROWD:

-Night Boat To Cairo!

His name is not Night Boat To Cairo, mate, no.

LAUGHTER

Toby?

His name is not Night Boat To Cairo.

Nor is it all the names of the Chelsea team

that won the cup final in 1970, no.

She's given him a nice name - Toby.

Now, Toby, are you doing all right at school, mate?

Is he doing all right? Is he good?

Well, you just concentrate. I did nothing at school, me, nothing.

Wasted my time. Ten years of my life out the window.

You concentrate, son, and you get somewhere

and you get some of them levels.

Cos if you don't, you'll end up like him.

# Naughty boys in nasty schools Headmaster's breaking all the rules

# Having fun and playing fools Smashing up the woodwork tools

# All the teachers in the pub Passing round the ready-rub

# Trying not to think of when the lunchtime bell will ring again

# Oh, what fun we had But did it really turn out bad?

# All I learnt at school was how to bend, not break the rules

# Oh, what fun we had But at the time it seemed so bad

# Trying different ways to make a difference to the...

# The headmaster's had enough today All the kids have gone away

# Gone to fight with next door's school

# Every term, that is the rule

# Sits alone and bends his cane Same old backsides again

# All the small ones tell tall tales

# Walking home and squashing snails

# Oh, what fun we had But did it really turn out bad?

# All I learnt at school was how to bend, not break the rules

# Oh, what fun we had But at the time it seemed so bad

# Trying different ways to make a difference to the days

INSTRUMENTAL

# Lots of girls and lots of boys Lots of smells and lots of noise

# Playing football in the park Kicking pushbikes after dark

# Baggy trousers, dirty shirt Pulling hair and eating dirt

# Teacher comes to break it up Back of the head with a plastic cup

# Oh, what fun we had But did it really turn out bad?

# All I learnt at school was how to bend, not break the rules

# Oh, what fun we had But at the time it seemed so bad

# Trying different ways to make a difference to the days

Those endless days.

Those interminable days.

# Baggy trousers, baggy trousers

# Baggy trousers. #

There's a three-man pyramid here.

Three-man pyramid, look.

Go on, my son!

That's hats off, right there.

Hats off. Hats off.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

He's got a spine on him, that fella, ain't he? Eh?

What?

You know!

# Father wears his Sunday best

# Mother's tired, she needs a rest

# The kids are playing up downstairs

# Sister's sighing in her sleep

# Brother's got a date to keep

# He can't hang around

# Our house

# In the middle of our street

# Our house

# In the middle of our...

# Our house, it has a crowd

# There's always something happening

# And it's usually quite loud

# Our mum, she's so house-proud

# Nothing ever slows her down

# And a mess is not allowed

# Our house

# In the middle of our street

# Our house

# In the middle of our...

# Our house

# In the middle of our street

# Our house

# In the middle of our...

# Father gets up late for work

# Mother has to iron his shirt

# Then she sends the kids to school

# Sees them off with a small kiss

# She's the one they're going to miss

# In lots of ways

Ladies and gentlemen, on guitar, Guns N' Roses.

GUITAR SOLO

# Our house

# In the middle of our street

# Our house

# In the middle of our...

# I remember way back then when everything was true and when

# We would have such a very good time, such a fine time

# And such a happy time

# And I remember how we'd play Simply waste the day away

# Then we'd say nothing would come between us

# Two dreamers

# Father wears his Sunday best

# Mother's tired, she needs a rest

# The kids are playing up downstairs

# Sister's sighing in her sleep

# Brother's got a date to keep He can't hang around

# Our house

# In the middle of our street

# Our house

# In the middle of our...

# Our house

# In the middle of street

# Our house

# In the middle of our...

# Our house

# Was our castle and our keep

# Our house

# In the middle of our...

# Our house

# That was where we used to sleep

# Our house

# In the middle of our street. #

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

# I never thought I'd miss you

# Half as much as I do

# And I never thought I'd feel this way

# The way I feel

# About you

And you and us and you and us.

# As soon as I wake up

# Every night, every day

# I know that it's you I need

# To take the blues away

Oh, yeah.

# It must be love

# Love, love

# It must be love

# Love, love

# Nothing more, nothing less

# Love is the best

# How can it be that we can

# Say so much without words?

# Bless you and bless me

# Bless the bees and the birds

Especially the birds, you know what I'm saying?

# I've got to be near you

# Every night, every day

# I couldn't be happy

# Any other way

You know! You know!

# It must be love

# Love, love

# It must be love

# Love, love

# Nothing more, nothing less

# Love is the best

SAXOPHONE SOLO

GUITAR SOLO

# As soon, soon, soon, as I wake up

# Every night, every day

# I know that it's you I need

-CROWD:

-# To take the blues away

# It must be love

# Love, love

# It must be love

# Love, love

IMPERSONATES JOHN LENNON: Hey Paul, all we need is love.

All we need.

# It must be love

# Love, love

# It must be love

# Love, love

# It must be love

# Love, love. #

It must be love. You know that!

You know that!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Thank you very much.

Love is the best.

We've tried all the rest. I've got the scars to prove it.

Very happy and privileged to say thank you very much

on behalf of all of us.

CHEERING

This shaggy old band.

40-odd years I've been hanging about with these toerags!

And we've learnt. We've learnt about love.

Thank you very much. Goodnight.

CHEERING

Pair of idiots!

CHEERING

Night boat to Cairo!

Go, Johnny, go!

Go, Johnny, go!

Night boat to Cairo!

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

Oh, no!

Oh, yes.

Oh, yes.

# It's just gone noon Half past monsoon

# On the banks of the river Nile

# Here comes the boat

# Only half-afloat

# Oarsman grins a toothless smile

# Only just one more

# To this desolate shore

# Last boat along the river Nile

# Doesn't seem to care

# No more wind in his hair

# As he reaches his last half mile

# The oar snaps in his hand

# Before he reaches dry land

# But the sound doesn't deafen his smile

# He just pokes at wet sand

# An oar in his hand

# He floats off down the river Nile

# Floats off down the river Nile

SAXOPHONE SOLO

Dance Cleopatra, dance!

Dance Cleopatra, dance!

Dance Cleopatra, dance!

Dance Cleopatra, dance!

We'll be sighting dogs.

We'll be sighting dogs.

Oh, great Caesar.

Oh, great Caesar.

Oh, great Caesar.

# Oh, Richard Burton

# And Elizabeth Taylor

# And Richard Burton

# And Elizabeth Taylor

# It was Richard Burton

# And Elizabeth Taylor

# Oh, it was Richard Burton

# Yeah, Elizabeth Taylor. #

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

I don't know about you, right,

but I've had quite enough of this old nonsense.

INSTRUMENTAL

Thank you so very much.

We have mostly been Madness.

Yeah, mostly.

4½ out of seven.

And now the words you might have been desperately waiting to hear.

Thank you very much.

Goodnight.

INSTRUMENTAL

Thank you! Goodnight!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE