Pennod 1 'Run Sbit


Pennod 1

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-Subtitles

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-Subtitles

-

-Subtitles

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-I'm Linda Brown...

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-..and this is my daughter, Caren.

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-Together...

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-..we run Wales's only

-celebrity lookalike company.

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-If you need that special star's

-lookalike...

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-..for an event...

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-..contact 'Run Sbit.

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-Yes. Yes. Yes.

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-OK.

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-OK, Mam. I have to go.

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-From their small office in Felinheli

-along with her mother Linda...

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-..Caren Brown runs

-a unique and exciting business.

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-How many lip balms

-does this woman need?

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-You could sell her a paper teapot

-and she'd think it was a bargain.

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-For over 20 years...

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-..it's the only agency to

-specialize in Welsh lookalikes.

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-By now, anyone worth knowing in

-Wales has a double at 'Run Sbit.

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-Hello, 'Run Sbit.

-Hello, 'Run Sbit.

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-That's what I'd be doing

-if you got off the f...

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-Yes, it's a great place to work.

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-We never stop.

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-You might have Bethan Gwanas doing

-a duck race at Aberdaron one day.

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-Maybe Richard Burton will take

-a group of Japanese people...

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-..around Harlech castle.

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-I'm in here.

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-Are you ready?

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-Do I have much choice?

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-You can sit here

-because Mam isn't here.

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-It's straightforward.

-They're multiple-choice questions.

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-There are quite a few of them.

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-You'll be great

-if you've done your homework.

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-I got a phone call from a Mr Sakoor.

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-He's rebranding a kebab shop

-in Dinas Dinlle.

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-He was asking

-for one of our lookalikes...

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-..to help with serving

-on the opening night.

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-I didn't realize

-it would be so much faff.

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-To comply with health and safety,

-anyone who feeds the public...

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-..needs to pass a hygiene test.

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-Just to check,

-which name do I put down?

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-Your name.

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-My real name.

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-Of course.

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-So I don't put Dudley.

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-No.

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-I'm Meirion Price Jones,

-I'm 48 and from Rachub.

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-And I'm the lookalike

-for Dudley Newbery.

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-It's a bit salty.

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-Dudley Newbery is one of Wales's

-most famous cooks.

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-He has educated and entertained

-thousands with his culinary skills.

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-Unlike the cook from Pontypridd...

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-..his lookalike, Meirion, has little

-time for health and safety.

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-That's fine.

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-This health and safety stuff

-makes me nuts.

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-I'll get a repetitive strain injury

-from filling them out.

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-Despite his job as assistant manager

-at a recycling centre...

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-..is a world way from that of the

-likeable TV presenter...

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-..it's still enjoyable work

-according to Meirion.

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-I don't mind it sometimes.

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-I do like it when a Dudley job

-comes in.

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-I like food.

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-Note the main pre-preparations

-that should be made...

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-..when disembowelling poultry.

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-You can leave that one for now.

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-If Caren looks worried,

-Linda is panicking even more.

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-Nurse! Nurse!

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-Nurse! For god's sake!

-It's an emergency!

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-Nurse! Nurse! Nurse!

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-Are you alright?

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-That guy's having a heart attack

-and nobody's paid him any attention.

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-It's no wonder the NHS

-is on its arse.

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-Aneirin Karadog would be

-turning in his grave.

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-Well, it was an easy mistake

-to make.

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-There we are.

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-Those hot flushes

-play tricks on your mind, Linda.

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-I honestly thought that was CCTV.

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-Some of these drama series

-can be so realistic.

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-We'll turn it off for a bit.

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-I never watch Doctors.

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-I'm more of a Home and Away person.

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-Frustratingly, the busy mother has

-had to visit the hospital for tests.

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-She's been ill recently.

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-Coronation Street is total rubbish.

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-I started having these hot flushes.

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-They drove me up the bloody wall.

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-Will we have to wait a long time

-for the results?

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-I've got things to do.

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-Don't worry about that, Linda.

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-You need plenty of rest now.

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-In the meantime,

-at 'Run Sbit's office...

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-..Dudley is facing

-different kinds of tests.

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-Indicate which two of the following

-are considered as priorities...

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-..in the prevention

-of cross-contamination.

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-You know that, don't you?

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-Umm...

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-No way would he be allowed near a

-kitchen without that certificate.

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-I was starting to worry a bit.

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-The certificate is here with me now.

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-OK, oh yes, he's looking forward.

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-OK, we'll see you later.

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-Goodbye.

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-Dear me, from where did you get

-these lip balms?

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-Don't worry about that,

-concentrate on the test.

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-You could run a chainsaw on that.

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-A gripping, psychological thriller.

-That looks quite meaty.

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-Back at the hospital...

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-..it's clear that the instruction to

-rest is a change of pace for Linda.

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-As she makes her way back

-to the ward...

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-..something's arrived

-to break the peace.

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-The porter will bring

-the rest of the stuff in a minute.

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-What's going on here?

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-This is Mrs Borland.

-She's here to keep you company.

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-Oh.

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-I thought I had a private ward!

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-I'm sure you understand.

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-Everyone wants a little privacy.

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-Imelda's pulse was racing.

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-Despite the unfortunate start,

-the patients become good friends...

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-..as they lose themselves

-in Linda's horror story.

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-Finally, she found an open door

-and ran in.

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-She stood there trembling...

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-..she could hear the floorboards

-creak as she hid behind the door.

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-Was it the killer?

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-Had he come back to reap his revenge

-on her virginal body?

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-Oh, dear me. Hold on, Mrs Borland!

-I think I'm having another attack.

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-Oh!

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-Oh!

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-Mrs Borland at last.

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-This is where you've been hiding.

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-I'll put these down here.

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-Thank you.

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-On her virginal body.

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-Slowly,

-the doorknob started turning.

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-This was it.

-There was no turning back.

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-As the door opened,

-she gave out a cry!

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-Linda!

-Are the lambs still screaming?

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-Oh, blasting Anthony!

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-I'm Gruff Williams

-from Pontarddulais.

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-I'm the lookalike

-for Anthony Hopkins.

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-Without doubt, Anthony Hopkins

-is most associated with his role...

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-..as Hannibal Lecter

-in Silence Of The Lambs.

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-The Port Talbot actor

-terrified a generation...

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-..with his portrayal

-of the vicious murderer.

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-But Hannibal the Cannibal couldn't

-be more different from Gruff.

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-Having retired and relocated

-to North Wales...

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-..when he isn't volunteering as

-a porter, he likes to be creative.

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-Calligraphy is just

-a bit of a hobby.

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-I just do the odd job

-for friends and family.

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-More people found out about it

-and asked me to do this and that.

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-I don't like to disappoint anyone.

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-I'm so busy at the hospital,

-I don't get time to do anything.

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-Despite being busy...

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-..he still tries to make time

-for his work as a lookalike.

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-No rest for the wicked.

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-There's fun to be had

-as Sir Anthony.

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-I do enjoy winding Linda up.

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-I almost had a thrombo, you monkey!

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-You shouldn't go around

-scaring people.

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-It was just a joke.

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-I don't see the joke.

-It isn't funny at all.

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-I've had a gut's full.

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-Linda doesn't have much

-to say to the phoney Sir Anthony.

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-There's something about that guy!

-Damn him.

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-I know they say don't judge

-a mountain on a molehill...!

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-But dear me,

-the guy gives me the creeps.

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-Back at Aberpwll, Dudley should be

-nearing the end of his hygiene exam.

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-Finally!

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-I've waited an age

-for that colour bomb.

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-It wasn't going

-to happen otherwise, was it?

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-That's done.

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-Let's cross our fingers

-and hope it's good enough.

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-Have you finished? Ideal.

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-A cuppa would be nice.

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-His cheeks almost bursting

-under the weight of his own vomit.

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-Here you are ladies,

-dinner is served.

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-Very good.

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-The chef's special for you.

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-Finest lamb's liver.

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-You've got a choice between the

-house white or a special chianti.

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-I can't eat this, surely!

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-Eugh!

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-No wonder hospitals

-are full of sick people...

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-..with the rubbish food they serve.

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-Linda Brown wasn't standing for it.

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-Yes, Brown.

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-Ooh, little bit more.

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-And while Linda makes up

-for the hospital's poor food...

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-..back on the ward,

-there's a bit of excitement.

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-Gruff! Don't you worry, Mrs Borland.

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-We'll find you another bed

-while we get you cleaned up.

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-Gruff!

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-Hello.

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-Mrs Borland has had an accident

-with her drink. Can you sort it?

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-What will we do with you,

-Mrs Borland?

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-While Linda gives new meaning

-to meals on wheels...

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-..Linda returns from her supper.

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-Perhaps her fragile state

-might lead her...

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-..to read too much

-into goings-on on the ward.

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-He'd killed Mrs Borland!

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-This job is murder, Linda.

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-After the break,

-Dudley gets some good news.

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-Have I passed?

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-Mr Sakoor is happy. He's got

-the star to open his kebab shop.

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-The mystery over Linda's temperature

-continues.

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-You might be allergic to something.

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-Anthony Hopkins makes

-Linda an offer she can not refuse.

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-Go! Go!

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-.

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-Subtitles

-

-Subtitles

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-Dudley Newbery's lookalike has

-passed a food hygiene exam...

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-..so he can serve at a kebab shop.

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-Have you seen my fan, Mrs Borland?

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-Linda is in hospital for tests

-due to a high temperature.

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-While there, the porter

-and Anthony Hopkins lookalike...

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-..has come under suspicion

-of murder.

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-Overall, it's another regular week

-at 'Run Sbit.

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-The seaside village of Dinas Dinlle.

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-Rashid Sakoor is putting together

-the final preparations...

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-..for his kebab shop.

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-Everything is going very well.

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-There are still a few things

-I'm waiting for.

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-I'm really looking forward

-to meeting my chef, Dudley.

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-With the ink on his certificate

-still wet...

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-..the newly-qualified cook arrives

-to Mr Sakoor's pleasure.

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-I've brought you your Dudley.

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-I've brought you your Dudley.

-

-Hello, Dudley, pleased to meet you.

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-And the certificate.

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-Great, it's very nice to see this.

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-There isn't much to rejoice about

-at the hospital.

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-Linda heads down

-into the hospital's bowels...

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-..to discover more about

-Anthony Hopkins' sinister behaviour.

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-I was going to find out what

-his game was...

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-..if it was the last thing I did.

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-I've never been so scared.

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-My legs were like jelly.

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-What exactly

-does Sir Anthony have to hide?

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-Don't get me started.

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-I'd promised to design a pamphlet.

-I hadn't had any time.

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-I had no choice but do it at work.

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-If I'd been caught, I'd been sacked.

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-Mrs Borland deserved some closure.

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-I knew he was up to something

-in that room.

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-Hello?

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-Hello?

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-Oh, that's better.

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-Another hot flush.

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-At Doners Dinlle kebab shop, people

-are gathering for the opening.

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-Rashid briefs Dudley on the menu.

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-And we have a Big Mac in a kebab.

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-We have the Katherine Jenkins

-which is really hot.

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-Pizzas, we have a Iolo Williams

-12-inch, popular with the ladies.

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-We also have an Arfon Wyn.

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-Which obviously has no toppings.

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-That's it really.

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-Caren, I won't remember all that.

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-Caren, I won't remember all that.

-

-You'd think it'd be written down.

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-Back at the hospital, after getting

-rid of his unexpected visitor...

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-..Hannibal Lecter's lookalike

-can get on with his work.

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-'Run Sbit's Agent Starling

-isn't so easily deterred.

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-When I saw him slicing Mrs Borland

-up in strips, enough was enough.

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-The game is up, Anthony.

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-The game is up, Anthony.

-

-Linda!

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-What did you put in that box?

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-What? Nothing!

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-You can't bullshit me.

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-I can smell a fish a mile away.

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-Come now, Linda.

-I was doing a favour for a friend.

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-A favour? There aren't any favours

-where you're heading.

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-Linda, you better be quiet

-about this. Off you go.

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-Go!

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-Go!

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-Open!

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-At Dinas Dinlle, the big moment

-has arrived for Dudley.

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-The orders are pouring in.

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-No cheese.

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-Can I have a 12-inch Iolo, please?

-To share, please.

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-How much is the

-Dylan O'Neil meal deal?

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-I'll check now.

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-Having attracted

-a shop full of customers...

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-..booking Dudley

-has paid dividends for Mr Sakoor.

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-Your Barry 10ft won't be long.

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-He was doing quite well, but you

-could see he was under pressure.

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-Mr Sakoor,

-how much is a large Doner Direidi?

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-Let me think, call it 6.10.

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-Could I get the Tudur Owen

-without the cheese?

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-A Howard Marks, please.

-Extra mushrooms.

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-And a bottle of Dafydd Ale.

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-Two minutes.

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-There's one detail

-that's worrying the owner.

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-I'm getting a bit worried now...

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-..Dudley doesn't seem to know

-the price of anything.

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-How much for an Ed Holden Wrap?

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-I've got no idea, mate.

-Do you want a Doner Direidi?

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-By now, Sir Anthony's lookalike

-has finished his shift.

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-He's got an important delivery

-to make.

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-Surely, I need to know

-where I'm going.

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-I don't know.

-That's what I'm telling you.

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-Follow that car, it's a long story.

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-You don't want to know.

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-Then, he chopped her up with this

-big slicer and put her in a bag.

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-And the bag is in this car.

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-Exactly.

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-Wouldn't we be better off

-going the other way?

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-Shut up and drive.

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-Health and safety has flown out of

-the window at Doners Dinlle.

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-We haven't got any Iestyn Garlic

-sauce left. Is Arfon Heinz OK?

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-Caren's been sucked in to help.

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-Who ordered the Gregory brothers?

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-Outside, Dudley's lack of pricing

-information...

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-..has put a dampener

-on Mr Sakoor's evening.

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-I don't know, the whole night

-is going pear-shaped.

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-Terrible.

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-Finally, Sir Anthony's client gets

-his important package.

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-Here you are at last.

-Where have you been?

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-I'm sorry.

-It's been very hectic at work.

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-I've got 200 in here.

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-I hope you're happy,

-I put your prices on them.

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-It's been an absolute shambles.

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-My customers

-don't know the price of anything.

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-I'm very sorry, Mr Sakoor.

0:20:080:20:09

-I told you, didn't I?

0:20:090:20:11

-A mad woman at work interrupted me.

0:20:110:20:13

-How much?

0:20:130:20:14

-I don't know. 30.

0:20:150:20:16

-Right, I suppose that's not so bad.

0:20:190:20:22

-Here you go.

0:20:220:20:23

-Here you go.

-

-Thank you.

0:20:230:20:24

-They were going to cook Mrs Borland.

0:20:280:20:31

-What's that?

0:20:330:20:34

-What's that?

-

-Eleri Sion.

0:20:340:20:35

-Nice.

0:20:350:20:36

-Don't touch that kebab!

-You don't know what's in it.

0:20:370:20:40

-What are you doing here?

-You're supposed to be at hospital.

0:20:400:20:43

-That's my Eleri Sion.

0:20:430:20:45

-That's my Eleri Sion.

-

-I know which bit of her it is!

0:20:450:20:46

-Don't eat it!

0:20:460:20:48

-Don't eat it!

-

-What are you doing, Mam?

0:20:480:20:49

-Try and understand me, girl!

0:20:490:20:52

-She'd completely lost the plot.

0:20:520:20:54

-What's going on here?

-Who's this woman?

0:20:550:20:58

-Linda!

0:20:580:20:59

-You vile creature. Damn you! I said

-you wouldn't get away with it!

0:20:590:21:04

-You should be ashamed of yourself.

-Cooking dead people like this

0:21:040:21:08

-Yes, you heard right.

0:21:100:21:12

-This dirty Anthony Hopkins

-murders people...

0:21:120:21:16

-..minces them and sells them

-to this creature.

0:21:160:21:20

-For all you know, you could

-be eating your own grannies.

0:21:200:21:24

-Calm down, Mam. You're confused.

0:21:240:21:26

-Caren,

-I've never been so sure of anything.

0:21:270:21:30

-You're all cannibals.

0:21:300:21:32

-You need your heads checked.

0:21:330:21:34

-Linda, slow down.

0:21:350:21:37

-Don't touch me, you evil man.

0:21:370:21:39

-Linda!

0:21:400:21:40

-Linda!

-

-Caren, help! He's going to meat me!

0:21:400:21:42

-I don't want to die.

0:21:430:21:44

-Everything is fine. Ouch!

0:21:440:21:46

-Oh, the devil had

-a horrible sweet taste.

0:21:480:21:51

-I'm so sorry, Mr Sakoor. She's been

-under so much stress lately.

0:21:530:21:57

-It's OK, Caren, we'll sort it out.

0:21:570:22:01

-Look after your mother now.

0:22:010:22:03

-I don't know what it is...

0:22:030:22:04

-..it's as if she's had

-some kind of reaction to something.

0:22:040:22:08

-I might be a bit late

-in the morning!

0:22:080:22:10

-OK, Mam.

0:22:100:22:12

-Thanks, Car,

-you're worth your weight in gold.

0:22:230:22:26

-Take it easy.

0:22:260:22:27

-Do you want something to eat?

0:22:280:22:29

-Do you want something to eat?

-

-It would be a good idea.

0:22:290:22:31

-Can we order from Mr Sakoor

-to show there are no hard feelings.

0:22:310:22:36

-OK, then.

0:22:360:22:37

-Hello,

-could I order a pizza, please?

0:22:430:22:45

-Great, do you deliver?

0:22:480:22:49

-Dear me, don't put any liver

-on mine!

0:22:490:22:52

-Bloody hell, it's coming again.

0:22:530:22:56

-What the hell is in that lip balm?

0:22:580:23:01

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