Dyn a Wyr 'Run Sbit

-Subtitles

-Subtitles

-

-Subtitles

-I'm Linda Brown...

-..and this is my daughter, Caren.

-Together...

-..we run Wales's only

-celebrity lookalike company.

-If you need that special star's

-lookalike...

-..for an event...

-..contact 'Run Sbit.

-It's Monday morning.

-People across Wales

-are on their journeys to work.

-Following motoring problems,

-Linda Brown is amongst them.

-Dear me, I didn't know the bloody

-hand brake was on...

-..until I reached Llandygai.

-Despite her status as a successful

-and well-known businesswoman...

-..the busy mother isn't above

-using public transport.

-I've always said

-we don't realise how lucky we are.

-Take that poor bloke next to me.

-What future did he have?

-Listen, we've got new cards, if you

-fancy being Joe Ledley, let me know.

-Get in touch.

-I'm a big believer

-in helping where I can.

-Linda isn't the only one

-with company.

-You need to know which one

-goes with which CV.

-With the school term nearing an end,

-Teyrnon Gwilym is at 'Run Sbit...

-..for a week of work experience.

-We have children over now and then.

-It's OK.

-You've got to be very careful

-with what you allow them to do.

-Watch you don't hurt yourself

-on the paper clips.

-They can be sharp.

-What's this now?

-'Run Sbit in the community.

-#helpingatramp

-The woman's not safe.

-You'd think she was Mother Teresa

-the way she comes across.

-Here you go, my dear.

-You could be a Margaret Williams

-at a pinch.

-You may as well have one.

-I've had too many printed.

-I may as well get rid of them.

-Hi, Malcolm,

-it's Caren from 'Run Sbit.

-While Saint Linda is spreading

-the gospel...

-..and Teyrnon has plenty to keep

-himself busy for the time being...

-..Caren turns her attention

-to the rest of the week's tasks.

-Some of our customers can be rather

-specific about the people they want.

-A local paintball company phoned

-wanting a Malcolm Allen lookalike...

-..our job is to make it happen.

-Christ on a bike!

-What a palaver, Beverly.

-Dear me, I feel like

-I've done a day's work already!

-Oh, it's work experience week

-this week.

-What's your name?

-This is Teyrnon, Mam.

-I won't remember that name.

-First things first,

-let's have a cuppa.

-No, I'm fine, thank you.

-What a drip.

-Are you looking

-for sugar for the salon?

-Yes.

-It's here.

-It's here.

-

-Thanks.

-Oh, is that blocked again?

-Sorry, have I done something?

-No, it's happened before.

-Someone stuffs something

-they shouldn't down the sink.

-Oh, so that's how it is.

-It makes sense

-when you see it like that.

-They're just names.

-Are you somebody's son or something?

-Are you somebody's son or something?

-

-Mam!

-Dear me, he must be related

-to someone with a name like that.

-I honestly can't get over that.

-Do you have no middle names?

-Do you have no middle names?

-

-No.

-Oh.

-Oh.

-

-I'll see you on Thursday.

-OK, thank you. Bye.

-What was that?

-That drain is blocked again.

-I'd love to know who the pig

-that stuffs the sink is.

-Why pay someone,

-that's a good job for... Teyrnon.

-Mam, you can't expect a work

-experience lad to unblock a drain.

-I'm really sorry about this.

-It must be here

-because I've looked under the sink.

-I'm pretty sure it's someone

-from the salon that causes it.

-Caren, phone!

-Tell them I'll phone back.

-It's Malcolm Allen!

-Hello, Malcolm!

-Malcolm Allen! No, he's great!

-He's very popular and brings

-a lot of work into the company.

-The only thing I'd say about him...

-..is that he can be

-a bit high maintenance.

-Here you go.

-You didn't need

-to come here straight away.

-Are there two sugars in that cuppa?

-I'm Ken Huws from Llanllyfni

-and I'm the lookalike for...

-..Malcolm Allen!

-Malcolm Allen is one of the most

-talented men to play for Wales.

-Following a successful career...

-..he is now one half of Wales'

-most famous Welsh-language...

-..commentating partnership

-with Nic Parry.

-My mind is scrambling

-to think of the next joke.

-Is speaking correctly important?

-The Welsh language is important

-to his lookalike, Kenneth.

-The thorough teacher

-has won respect...

-..for his stance

-on protecting the language.

-Proper language is important,

-if you don't speak properly...

-..the language

-becomes less distinct.

-I think it's everyone's duty

-to try to speak Welsh properly.

-When you speak,

-you say every letter.

-What's the score with this, Caren?

-As you can see,

-it's a paintball tournament?

-They just want you

-to commentate on it.

-It's not really my kind of thing.

-This pamphlet

-is full of language errors.

-There's nothing we can do about

-that, is there?

-You're at fault too.

-These cards say

-"Fel gwelwyd ar y teledu".

-You need a "Y"

-between "Fel" and "Gwelwyd".

-In fact, it should be "Fel a welwyd"

-really. I'll think about it.

-I won't make any promises.

-We really don't like

-letting customers down.

-We were crossing everything,

-hoping Malcolm would be OK.

-Charlotte Church has liked it now.

-And that guy in the wheelchair.

-Do you think we need a backup

-for this paintball job?

-For what?

-That's what Malcolm Allen's like.

-He always stirs up some shit.

-Is it OK if I go now?

-Yes, of course. How did it go?

-Did you have any luck?

-No, I'm sorry, it's still blocked.

-No, I'm sorry, it's still blocked.

-

-You can try again tomorrow.

-Right, OK. Ta-ra.

-Bye, love.

-Is he on a half day?

-Is he on a half day?

-

-Mam, he's a school boy.

-He finishes at 3.30pm.

-That's an easy life!

-What's good for the goose

-is good for the bloody gander.

-Right then, I best be off, I think.

-There's a bus at 4.00pm.

-You can lock up, can't you?

-It's Tuesday morning.

-There are two days until

-Malcolm Allen's lookalike...

-..commentates on a paintball

-competition.

-The lookalike has bad news

-for 'Run Sbit.

-I thought

-that might be what he'd say.

-He's not going to do it.

-I'm sure the English

-on the flier wound him up.

-Mother won't be very happy

-about this.

-Thanks very much.

-Knowing nothing of the stubborn

-commentator's decision...

-..Mother thinks she's spotted

-a familiar face.

-I know you, don't I?

-I'm good with faces,

-even if I say so myself.

-I've got a touch

-of a pornographic memory.

-Yes, of course, how's the job going?

-Yes, of course, how's the job going?

-

-It's going well.

-Linda quickly works out

-she's in the company...

-..of the bard and Archdruid,

-Geraint Lloyd Owen, the real one.

-Oh, you're a bit heavier

-than our Archdruid.

-What's brought you up here?

-My grandson is here

-on work experience.

-So, you're what's-his-face's

-grandfather.

-That's what I'm told!

-Listen, I've got to get going,

-the Eisteddfod office is very busy.

-Oh!

-At the end of the week...

-..the names of everyone accepted

-into the Gorsedd will be announced.

-To tell you the truth, 'Run Sbit's

-name came up in the conversation.

-Where is he?

-Where's who?

-Where's who?

-

-Min ap Terry... where is he?

-He's fetching cleaning equipment,

-why?

-Dear me, do you know

-who his grandfather is?

-The chief bandit of the Eisteddfod,

-Caren!

-Sorry, do you have more bleach?

-It's got nothing to do

-with who his grandfather is.

-I'm always willing

-to help young people.

-I like to give them a start in life.

-It's nothing to do with the Gorsedd.

-I wouldn't be bothered.

-Here's your cuppa love

-and here's a curly-wurly.

-Thanks.

-Here, Nic Parry's number is there.

-Give him a ring...

-Following

-his unexpected promotion...

-..Teyrnon's first job is finding

-a substitute for Malcolm Allen.

-The other result of the promotion...

-..is that Linda has to get

-someone else to clean the drain.

-I want to order a pizza, please.

-What do you want on your pizza?

-Umm...

-Pepperoni.

-Pepperoni.

-In part two...

-In part two...

-

-He practically said I'm in!

-Will Linda's treatment

-of the work experience lad...

-..bring the result she wants?

-What's responsible

-for Malcolm Allen's red card?

-Asta la vista, Twerp!

-.

-*

-A 15-year-old boy is organising...

-..a commentator

-for a paintball tournament.

-I know you, don't I?

-Linda can't believe

-she might be joining the Gorsedd.

-Why would they want you?

-Why would they want you?

-

-I'm a pillock of the community!

-Malcolm Allen is critical of the

-company's Welsh language policy.

-"A welwyd ar y teledu" is correct.

-All in all, another regular week

-at 'Run Sbit.

-I understand that it's short notice,

-Mr Parry.

-It's Wednesday afternoon.

-It's a race to find someone

-to fill Malcolm Allen's boots.

-The event is tomorrow.

-Great, Mr Parry.

-'Run Sbit's super sub

-may have had some success.

-Eugh, come on, will you!

-Caren's had some success too.

-Oh, those dreaded wet wipes,

-that's what they are.

-That's not really how I wanted

-to meet the Archdruid.

-I've come to pick my grandson up

-from work experience.

-Of course, I'll fetch him now.

-Tell him I'll be in the car.

-I don't want to miss the Talwrn.

-OK.

-Sorry.

-So you have to stand there?

-So you have to stand there?

-

-Sorry.

-Geraint Lloyd Owen's outside.

-I'm going for a shower,

-that drain's unblocked.

-I saw the sink had cleared,

-thank you, Caren.

-Terry, get your stuff together,

-it's time to head home, love.

-Hold on a second,

-give this to your grandfather...

-..and tell him Linda Brown

-sends her regards.

-I didn't really understand

-the cake for Taid.

-Yes, it's been a really tough week.

-I think, thankfully, I can see the

-light at the end of the tunnel.

-Here he comes, Taid's lad.

-Alright, Taid?

-How are you?

-Clearly, Linda Brown doesn't just

-make a mess making cakes.

-Caren, I'm going to catch the bus!

-I'll see you tomorrow, ta-ra!

-With less than 24 hours

-until the paintball competition...

-..Caren's worried.

-The thing is,

-Malcolm Allen can be lovely.

-I thought

-maybe we could get on his good side.

-Really?

-Thanks so much, that's fantastic.

-That's great.

-Caren's perseverance has worked.

-At the eleventh hour, Malcolm Allen

-has agreed to the job.

-It's a pity then

-that Linda hasn't told her...

-..that Nic Parry

-has accepted the job.

-"Believe it or not, frightened of

-bananas, more to come later..."

-I'm going to need a manicure...

-..after all the arse scratching

-I've done to get this guy.

-Come on, Malcolm

-or the thing will be over.

-Caren isn't the only one

-being forced to wait around.

-You wouldn't believe me.

-He's such a sweetheart.

-He's worked so hard that he's

-getting a treat from me today.

-I'm taking him to that paintball

-place in Deiniolen.

-Do you think everyone else

-will be fine with that?

-No worries, Archie!

-He'll be fine with Auntie Linda.

-Anyhow,

-have you sorted your stuff out now?

-Sorted?

-You know, this, umm,

-eisteddfod thing.

-Oh, you mean the Gorsedd.

-You don't need to spill the beans

-or anything like that.

-I won't do that.

-I think we'll have a good word

-for 'Run Sbit in the next few days.

-I'm in!

-Terry, come on, we're in a rush.

-Get on your skates.

-Come on!

-What do you think of

-"Brown from Heli"?

-Yes, that's alright.

-While Linda is busy thinking

-of an appropriate bardic name...

-I don't know, it sounds like sewage.

-At Warrior Woods paintball centre

-near Deiniolen...

-..there's a bit of confusion.

-They told me they were sending

-Malcolm Allen.

-You've got Nic Parry!

-Where do you want me?

-This way.

-Stephen Evans has worked as a Nic

-Parry impersonator for six years.

-He's seen a big increase

-in his work as a lookalike...

-..for the quick witted commentator.

-Testing, testing, one, two,

-yeah, yeah.

-It started quite slow.

-By now things aren't bad at all.

-Oh, bad one!

-He got shot in the face.

-Painful.

-He takes a shot, he's hit the tree.

-Unfortunately, despite his

-astounding similarity to the star...

-..'Run Sbit's Nic Parry doesn't

-have the same linguistic skills.

-Oh, smack in the middle

-of his what's it.

-Linda might not have chosen the best

-moment to come calling.

-Yeah, great.

-Lasagne would be brilliant.

-I'll be home soon. I just have

-to finish the commentating. Bye.

-Listen to him, the man's terrible.

-He looks like him,

-what else do you want?

-He's in a camouflage tent,

-nobody can see him.

-He could be Betty George

-for all I care...

-..so long as I get some sane

-commentary.

-If you wanted Betty George,

-I'd have brought her.

-I didn't want Nic Parry,

-I wanted Malcolm Allen.

-What's going on here?

-Who's in the box?

-Alright, Malcs!

-I can't stand that Nic Parry,

-his Welsh is abysmal.

-His mutations and grammar

-are all over the place.

-If I hear him end another

-sentence with a preposition...

-..I'll go bananas!

-As the competition is stopped

-to clear up the misunderstanding...

-..the disagreement over who should

-do the commentating...

-..threatens to ruin the day.

-You said you couldn't come.

-What were we to do?

-Sort it out with them.

-I've been sat there.

-It becomes obvious that wisdom

-doesn't necessarily come with age.

-Can I just say something?

-Why don't you just do it together?

-I was just thinking...

-..the real Malcolm Allen

-and Nic Parry bounce off each other.

-Why not try to do the same?

-I don't know, Caren.

-I'm not very keen.

-The green shirts pay the penalty

-for poor defence there.

-The blues charge forward

-like wild bulls.

-With a little persuasion, Malcolm is

-willing to give Teyrnon's idea a go.

-The blues are wilting

-under fierce attacks.

-The work experience lad...

-..is rewarded for his ingenuity

-with a front-row seat.

-Inspiring team work there

-from the greens.

-I couldn't have said it better,

-Malcs.

-The suggestion

-seems to have paid off.

-One of the green team

-is in the hedge.

-I'd say he's spent

-too much time hiding.

-He's spending

-too much time hiding.

-..well for a short time at least.

-He'll be as sick

-as a parrot after that one.

-Dear me, you can't say that.

-You've translated

-an English idiom literally.

-Unfortunately, things get worse not

-better as Nic's Welsh is attacked.

-He's lucky he has a mask on.

-To which school did you go?

-Don't you know not to finish

-a sentence with a preposition?

-Whatever, yeah?

-I thought the guy

-was going to explode.

-I've got cuppas

-for each of you here.

-This is the one with two sugars,

-Mr Allen.

-You're at it now, sugar is a

-male noun not a female one, boy!

-The country's going to the dogs!

-I was right too.

-If you were a pupil of mine,

-I'd

-BEEP

-you, you little

-BEEP.

-You're sending the Welsh language

-to its grave!

-You, Linda! You and your type!

-You're all to blame, taking young

-people like this under your wing.

-How will the lookalike industry cope

-when the language dies?

-Oh, the guy had completely

-lost the plot.

-I want a total restructuring of

-'Run Sbit's Welsh language policy.

-I also want a guarantee that every

-flyer will be in perfect Welsh.

-I want you to make an effort...

-..to give preference to the

-lookalikes with high quality Welsh.

-Dear me, cool head, Malcolm!

-Let the lad go!

-We can work it out.

-We can get around this.

-Nobody's leaving Linda

-until you agree to my terms.

-We'll be here until Judgement Day!

-Caren, what do we do now?

-Sort it out, surely.

-As Malcolm Allen takes a school

-child under their care hostage...

-..can things

-possibly get worse for 'Run Sbit?

-Oh, my God!

-What?

-Malcolm Allen has taken

-the youngster hostage.

-He's got a bee in his bonnet about

-the Welsh language.

-Don't worry. I'm going

-to sort this all out for you.

-I've got no time for this...

-..I've got to take the

-list of nominees to catch the post.

-Out of my way.

-I wouldn't go that way

-if I were you, Archie!

-Despite having to get the Gorsedd

-Nominations List to the press...

-..the heroic Archdruid...

-..puts everything on the line

-to save his grandson.

-Geeeeraaaiiint!

-Caren, I didn't know there was paint

-in the gun, honestly.

-It's happened now, hasn't it.

-I'm so sorry, Mr Archdruid.

-Where's Little Mei?

-Mei? Who the hell is Mei?

-You've had a knock.

-He's had a knock.

-You mean Terry, don't you?

-Say something to your Taid

-to bring him to his senses.

-Taid? This isn't Taid.

-What?

-Taid's in a home in Wrexham.

-I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

-I've made a mess of this nomination

-now, haven't I.

-This has nothing to do

-with the nominations.

-That decision has already been made.

-Are you sure?

-I'm so glad.

-I won't let you down!

-"The headlines once again...

-"..lookalikes company, 'Run Sbit are

-celebrating today...

-"..as the nominations list

-is announced...

-"..manager Linda Brown

-says she is over the moon...

-"..their Malcolm Allen impersonator

-has been honoured...

-"..for his work

-with the Welsh language."

-S4C Subtitles by Testun Cyf.

-.