Love me Tinder 'Run Sbit


Love me Tinder

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Transcript


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-I'm Linda Brown...

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-..and this is my daughter, Caren.

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-Together...

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-..we run Wales's only

-celebrity lookalike company.

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-If you need that special star's

-lookalike...

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-..for an event...

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-..contact 'Run Sbit.

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-This is the

-Aberpwll Business Park near Bangor.

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-Renovation work is being done on

-'Run Sbit's roof.

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-The lookalikes company

-is as busy as ever.

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-The responsibility of running

-the only agency...

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-..providing lookalikes

-of Welsh celebrities...

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-..is non-stop for Caren Brown

-and her mother, Linda.

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-If you have friends

-in high places...

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-..this could be the time

-to use them to your advantage.

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-That's funny with John up there.

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-That's funny with John up there.

-

-Yes.

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-Are you alright, John!

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-Yes, I'm fine,

-I just dropped the bloody hammer.

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-Oh, the poor lamb

-dropped the bloody hammer.

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-I wish you'd have listened to me

-and hired a tradesman.

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-Come on, Caren,

-the poor lamb needs the money.

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-I'm a typical Gemini,

-always thinking of others.

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-Oh, did you want one?

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-Be quiet.

-She's obsessed with horoscopes.

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-It always ends in the same place.

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-That's you, Car, Sagittarius.

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-Romance is in the air.

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-Love could flourish if you take

-the bull by its horns.

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-This could be your lucky week, Car.

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-Mam, I've told you,

-I'm not looking for a man.

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-Even if I was, I won't find them in

-the stars of Caernarfon and Denbigh.

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-I wouldn't say I'm a pushy parent

-or anything.

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-I'd like to see her settle down in

-a monotonous relationship some day.

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-That's only natural, isn't it?

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-The resourceful mother has an idea

-to make her wish come true.

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-Dear me, we'd still be waiting

-for her to make a move.

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-The horoscope said grab the bull.

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-How tall are you, Caren?

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-Five-foot-six, why?

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-I was just wondering.

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-In the mean time, outside,

-there's bad news about the roof.

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-It's goodbye for this one.

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-Imagine the damage this would do

-hitting the top of your head.

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-I remember some tiles

-like these...

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-..falling from the barber's roof

-a long time ago.

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-They hit a friend, Eifion,

-on his head.

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-He was spinning like a top.

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-He couldn't say "R"

-properly after that.

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-Oh! Oh, I feel a bit peckish now.

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-Caren, if you could choose your

-favourite food in the world...

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-..what would you choose?

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-The world's your oyster,

-not that you should choose oysters.

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-I think I'd probably pick calamari.

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-Eurgh, squid!

-Don't bring that near me.

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-You asked.

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-It's not like I'm going to have it,

-is it? Why all these questions?

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-I'm making polite conversation.

-No need to jump down my throat.

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-How do you spell calamari?

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-I know that woman.

-She was up to something.

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-Well, this wide lady is knackered.

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-Sorry?

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-The lads at the quarry called

-slates like these wide ladies.

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-I'm going back years.

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-I remember me and Vernon Biscuits,

-he's the son of Elsi Ray.

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-I remember Elsi.

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-We did a job for Medwyn Much Belly.

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-Elsi started shouting from upstairs.

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-I don't know what came over her head

-giving a job to that idiot.

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-Just because he said he's skint.

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-She'll fall for any sob story.

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-Believe me,

-that guy can tell stories.

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-..in the arms

-of Susan Witchcraft...

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-..trying to get her bloomers back

-before the insurance saw.

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-Sorry to interrupt you in full flow,

-but can you get hold of a new slate?

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-Is James Dean on the screen, Caren?

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-James Dean on the silver screen!

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-I'm John Aled Williams

-from Botwnnog.

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-I'm the lookalike for...

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-..John Ogwen.

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-John Ogwen is one

-of Wales's most well-known faces.

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-The lad from Sling has found

-his place in the nation's heart...

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-..with his natural charm in front

-of an audience and skilled acting.

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-John Aled doesn't just look...

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-..like the famous raconteur

-from the Ogwen Valley.

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-I remember back in the day

-going to do a meet and greet...

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-..with Charles Williams's lookalike

-in Capel Curig.

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-We jumped straight into

-an Austin Seven that Charles had...

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-..to judge a carnival queen contest.

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-What's wrong with madam?

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-Don't take any notice of her.

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-She wants to pay a proper bloke

-to do the roof.

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-She's the one

-who needs a bloke if you ask me.

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-I agree with you there.

-You don't need to pay anyone.

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-I'll get you a slate, no problem.

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-I'll get you a slate, no problem.

-

-You're a good lad.

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-Who on earth is that?

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-I don't like answering the phone

-to numbers I don't know.

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-Hello.

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-Sorry, who's there?

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-Gary, I thought so.

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-Nobody's called me that

-since school.

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-Gary Lloyd was one

-of my best friends at school.

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-A lovely lad.

-I haven't seen him for years.

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-Yes, I sort of run the place.

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-Mam helps now and then.

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-Oh, she's great.

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-Yes, there's nothing wrong

-with her mouth.

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-How about you?

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-By now, her old school friend...

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-..and partner run The Albert Inn,

-Caernarfon.

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-They got in touch hoping

-that having a lookalike...

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-..of one of Anglesey's famous people

-would help bring in punters.

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-We've been thinking about having

-entertainment here for a while.

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-Yes.

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-We heard that Caren Brown

-runs a lookalike agency...

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-..so I said to myself

-"Let's pull a few strings."

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-Yes.

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-That's how much Elin Fflur

-goes out for these days.

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-Apparently, 'Run Sbit's fees

-are too high for the poor innkeeper.

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-I can't really do a freebie.

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-I know I'm the boss.

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-I'll tell you what I'll do.

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-If you get me a lookalike job,

-I'll fix the roof free of charge.

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-Really?

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-I want to cry.

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-I'll find you a job, John.

-Don't worry.

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-Right, done deal.

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-As Maggie Shakes used to say...

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-.."I potted it in the end!"

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-You're a character, John. So long.

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-Linda and John strike a bargain...

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-..while Caren has also been

-sucked into a deal.

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-OK.

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-I'm sure I can bend the rules

-for once.

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-OK then.

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-Nine o'clock in the Albert.

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-I didn't have a choice, did I?

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-I'd dug myself into a hole.

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-Bye then.

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-Mind you, Mum's the word.

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-Ta-ra.

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-Mum's the word about what?

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-It was just Ed Holden. He wanted to

-know if something rhymes with rum.

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-"Bum".

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-Before long, it becomes clear

-that John Ogwen spoke too soon...

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-..in promising a new slate

-for 'Run Sbit's roof.

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-I'm having some trouble

-finding one right now.

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-If there's one here I'll find it.

-Guaranteed.

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-I remember Maggie Gravy-Eyes's

-glass eye falling into the soup...

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-..at the quarry's canteen.

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-I found that.

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-Great, Elin. Great.

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-I'll pick you up at nine

-tomorrow night?

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-Brilliant.

-Don't mention it to Mam. OK?

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-No, OK. Great.

-It's a long story. Bye.

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-OK, bye.

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-Hi Caren, I'm Gwion...

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-Back in the office,

-with Caren's profile online...

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-..it's not long

-before there's a bite.

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-..would you meet me for a meal...

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-..at Seiont Manor Hotel

-tomorrow night at 7.30pm.

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-Ooh, exciting.

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-But how do you get Caren

-on a date she knows nothing about?

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-Bingo!

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-Bingo what?

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-Nothing, Shirley Bassey

-wanted a name for her new dog.

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-Dear me, it's cute.

-The world's sweetest thing.

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-She's definitely up to something.

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-Caren,

-I wanted to say something to you.

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-We've got a job in for John Ogwen.

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-Where did that come from?

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-Nobody's booked him for ages.

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-The moment he does you a favour,

-someone wants him.

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-Yes, funny isn't it. I didn't think

-of that until you said.

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-It's a birthday party

-for some Gwion at Seiont Manor.

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-You'll have to take him, Car.

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-I have something else on tomorrow.

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-What have you got on tomorrow night?

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-What have you got on tomorrow night?

-

-Nothing, nothing.

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-I know that girl.

-She's up to something.

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-In Part 2, it gets more

-complicated for Linda...

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-..as she looks for a partner

-for Caren.

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-Someone else wants a date now.

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-John Ogwen struggles to keep

-his promise to find a roof slate.

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-I've got a lookalike job

-and everything.

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-What will the owners of the Albert

-think of a night with Elin Fflur?

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-That's got to be one of the weirdest

-things I've seen.

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-.

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-Subtitles

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-Subtitles

-

-Subtitles

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-Surely she can't go on two dates

-in one night.

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-The dating profile Linda created

-for Caren...

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-..is attracting more attention

-than she expected.

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-A school friend has persuaded Caren

-to go behind her mother's back...

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-..to supply a lookalike

-of Elin Fflur free of charge.

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-As a result

-of her mother's cunning plan...

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-..Caren believes

-she has to send John Ogwen...

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-..to a birthday party

-on the same night.

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-Overall, it's another average week

-at 'Run Sbit.

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-This is the five star

-Seiont Manor restaurant.

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-John Ogwen is the invited guest

-at a birthday party.

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-Or at least,

-that's what he and Caren think.

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-The only thought going through

-my mind was that this Gwion...

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-..must be loaded having his birthday

-party in such a place.

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-Hi, Caren?

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-Gwion?

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-This is John.

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-How are you, mate? Alright?

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-I have to say the photo on the

-website doesn't do justice.

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-That's an old photo, isn't it, John?

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-That's an old photo, isn't it, John?

-

-It's as old as sin!

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-What's wrong with me. Take a seat.

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-I'll take a seat, brilliant.

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-Thanks, mate, ideal.

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-I don't know if it was because

-nobody turned up to his party...

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-..he was determined I should stay.

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-I don't like to hurt

-people's feelings.

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-Dear me, this is nice, isn't it?

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-There's something

-to eat on the way...

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-..I'm not sure

-there's enough for three.

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-Don't worry about me.

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-I have to be in the Albert by nine.

-I'll eat there.

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-John, tell that story

-about Megan Wembley and the sheep.

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-It was 1987.

-Do you remember the snow?

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-Dick the Sheep and Megan...

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-As Caren does her best

-to give Gwion a night to remember...

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-Linda faces the dilemma

-that a second man...

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-..has expressed interest

-in her daughter.

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-It was only right for the poor lad

-to have an explanation.

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-I don't like to hurt

-anyone's feelings.

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-Hello, can I help you?

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-I'm supposed to meet someone here.

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-What's the name?

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-Brown. Caren Brown.

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-It'll be down there somewhere.

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-Caren?

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-Oh, Ieuan.

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-Oh, Ieuan.

-

-How are you?

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-I didn't have a choice, did I?

-I was in a pickle.

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-I'm sorry I didn't recognize

-you earlier...

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-..you're a bit different

-to the photo on the website.

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-It's not a very good photo.

-I was a bit under the weather.

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-I've ordered a little something

-for us to eat.

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-Oh, great, brilliant.

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-Back at Seiont Manor hotel...

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-..after that he could change

-channels with his bum cheeks.

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-He married his cousin

-not long afterwards.

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-Pembrokeshire squid

-in Lleyn Beer batter.

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-Enjoy.

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-Lovely, calamari

-happens to be my favourite food.

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-Nice, John.

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-Nice, John.

-

-Yes, ideal.

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-Dear me, calamari.

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-I spotted that

-that was your favourite.

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-If only that blinking Caren had

-chosen something sensible like soup.

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-VOMITING NOISES

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-I don't know what came over me.

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-Sorry.

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-Maybe a bit of the squid

-went down the wrong way.

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-As the night goes on...

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-..Linda finds the perfect solution

-to get rid of the taste of calamari.

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-With tasty food and good company...

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-..it looks like tonight may develop

-into an unforgettable evening.

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-Divine!

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-I'm finished.

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-Would you like a coffee, Caren?

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-No, thank you.

-I've had more than enough already.

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-We're normally lucky

-if we get a sandwich.

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-That was excellent,

-thanks very much.

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-I'd better go, I've got to be

-in the Albert by nine.

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-I've got it.

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-I've got it.

-

-Are you sure?

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-Yes, I've really enjoyed myself.

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-Really?

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-Really?

-

-Goodbye.

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-To tell you the truth...

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-..I wouldn't mind doing it again

-if it's alright with you.

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-Absolutely, no problem.

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-Shall I get in touch

-through the website?

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-Yes, that way you can see

-if you fancy someone else.

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-I think I hit the jackpot

-first time.

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-I couldn't fathom

-why he was impressed with John.

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-There we are. Bye, mate.

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-I can only say thank you.

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-Thanks.

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-Off we go, Car.

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-How does Gwion feel the night went?

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-She's a very nice girl.

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-It's a bit strange to bring

-that old guy with her.

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-That must have been nerves.

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-She's keen to meet again

-so we'll see how it goes.

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-Caren has forgotten her purse...

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-..Prince Charming rushes

-after Cinderella.

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-Let's see how the fairy godmother

-is getting on.

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-No. No. No, thanks.

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-Come on, Ieu.

-You only let your hair down once.

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-No! I said no.

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-Oh!

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-Oh!

-

-It goes to my head.

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-You're so cute

-when you're angry!

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-Dear me, I'd started

-getting keen on Ieuan.

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-Thank you for such a lovely evening,

-Caren.

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-I'm sorry the calamari

-didn't agree with you.

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-Dear me, don't worry about that.

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-It's halfway down

-the Menai Strait now.

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-It was quite an amusing evening.

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-By that point, I'd made my mind up.

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-Thanks very much

-for such a lovely night, Caren.

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-It's time for me to go.

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-The night is only young!

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-How about a nightcap in here?

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-No, I'd better go.

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-So there was nobody else there.

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-No, only this Gwion.

0:18:090:18:10

-I only stayed because he asked.

0:18:110:18:13

-Well,

-it can't have been much of a party.

0:18:130:18:16

-He looked a bit strange.

0:18:160:18:18

-Where are you from, Elin?

0:18:190:18:20

-I'm from Beaumaris.

0:18:200:18:22

-Oh, do you know

-Arfon Honest To God?

0:18:220:18:26

-No, I don't think so.

0:18:260:18:28

-What about Gwil Lays A Fart?

0:18:280:18:30

-No.

0:18:310:18:32

-Dear me! Are you sure

-you come from Beaumaris.

0:18:360:18:38

-In the meantime, back on his date...

0:18:430:18:45

-..the night seems to be

-slipping from Ieuan's grasp.

0:18:450:18:49

-Here you are. That'll put hairs

-on your pencil, Ieu.

0:18:490:18:53

-It's two for the price of one

-tonight.

0:18:530:18:56

-No thanks.

-I'll see if they've got a J2O.

0:18:590:19:01

-Sit down and drink that, you wimp!

0:19:010:19:04

-I'm not really keen on alcohol.

0:19:060:19:08

-But, I have to say, those

-Jaeger Bomb things were quite nice.

0:19:080:19:14

-There you are!

0:19:160:19:18

-This opens up a whole new world

-for you, Ieu.

0:19:180:19:22

-Yes, it is rather nice.

0:19:220:19:24

-Shall we have another one?

0:19:250:19:26

-That's the spirit!

0:19:260:19:29

-Let me introduce Elin to Gary,

-then we'll leave. OK, John?

0:19:300:19:34

-Having not met for 30 years, Caren

-can't wait to see her old friend.

0:19:340:19:40

-I was in the same class as him

-through school.

0:19:400:19:43

-He was exactly how I remembered.

0:19:430:19:45

-Caren Brown!

0:19:450:19:47

-From long ago,

-you haven't changed at all.

0:19:470:19:50

-Gary! You haven't changed either.

0:19:500:19:52

-This is Elin.

0:19:530:19:55

-Hi, Elin.

0:19:550:19:56

-Thanks

-for doing this free of charge.

0:19:570:19:59

-Free of charge?

0:19:590:20:01

-I'll explain another time.

-It's a long story.

0:20:010:20:03

-Do you want to get your stuff ready?

0:20:040:20:06

-The stuff and the gear and

-microphone are in the far end.

0:20:060:20:09

-Caren Brown!

0:20:100:20:12

-Gary.

0:20:120:20:13

-Do you know what? You look amazing.

0:20:140:20:18

-Excuse me.

0:20:190:20:20

-Oh, hello.

0:20:210:20:22

-Is this what's going on?

0:20:220:20:24

-Sorry?

0:20:240:20:25

-I'll have a nibble

-in the Albert later.

0:20:250:20:28

-That was my original plan.

0:20:280:20:30

-That was my original plan.

-

-Yes, I can see that.

0:20:300:20:32

-Caren comes a cropper...

0:20:320:20:34

-..but she's not the only one

-having to explain her moves.

0:20:350:20:38

-Linda! What are you doing here?

0:20:380:20:40

-Dear me, Elin!

-What are you doing here?

0:20:400:20:45

-I'm here with Caren.

0:20:450:20:47

-Caren?

0:20:470:20:48

-Caren, Caren, here you are, Caren.

0:20:480:20:52

-There you are, babes.

0:20:520:20:54

-A long story, Elin, long story.

0:20:540:20:56

-It's safe to say Caren was the last

-person I expected to see there.

0:20:580:21:03

-Just be quiet now, OK.

0:21:030:21:06

-I don't care who hears. I love you.

0:21:060:21:08

-Do you make a habit

-of leading men on?

0:21:100:21:13

-Watch her, mate, she's lethal.

0:21:130:21:14

-Watch her, mate, she's lethal.

-

-Eh?

0:21:140:21:15

-You do realize that this is my job,

-don't you?

0:21:150:21:18

-Job?

0:21:190:21:20

-You get paid for this!

0:21:200:21:22

-Of course,

-I don't do it for nothing, do I?

0:21:220:21:24

-Anyway, John

-gets most of the money.

0:21:240:21:27

-So that's the setup.

0:21:270:21:29

-Tell me, how many customers

-do you have?

0:21:290:21:33

-I don't know, tens, hundreds maybe.

-We've been going for years.

0:21:330:21:38

-We?

0:21:390:21:40

-We?

-

-My mother and I.

0:21:400:21:42

-Your mother's at it too!

0:21:420:21:44

-She's the boss.

0:21:450:21:47

-I thought you were the boss.

0:21:470:21:49

-Caren Brown!

0:21:500:21:52

-We're only here once.

0:21:520:21:56

-I've been thinking.

0:21:570:21:59

-I want to grab

-the bull by the horns.

0:22:000:22:05

-Caren, will you marry me?

0:22:070:22:10

-It's safe to say that Mam was the

-last person I expected to see there.

0:22:200:22:25

-I was really in a pickle.

0:22:310:22:33

-# There's something about you

0:22:370:22:41

-# That I just can't explain

0:22:410:22:44

-# Something about you

0:22:460:22:48

-# That makes my heart beat #

0:22:490:22:53

-As your moons collide...

0:22:590:23:01

-..be wary of loved ones

-who try and be someone they're not.

0:23:010:23:07

-What a load of crap!

0:23:130:23:14

-S4C Subtitles by Testun Cyf.

0:23:400:23:42

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0:23:420:23:43

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