Rhifyn 'Dolig 'Run Sbit


Rhifyn 'Dolig

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Transcript


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-Subtitles

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-Subtitles

-

-Subtitles

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-I'm Linda Brown...

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-..and this is my daughter, Caren.

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-Together...

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-..we run Wales's only

-celebrity lookalike company.

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-If you need that special star's

-lookalike...

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-..for an event...

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-..contact 'Run Sbit.

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-Christmas season has arrived

-in Bethesda in the Ogwen Valley.

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-Over at the community centre...

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-..'Run Sbit are hoping to make it a

-memorable Christmas for the locals.

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-# Is this Christmas?

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-# Who knows? #

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-Well done, lads. That's great.

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-Well done, lads. That's great.

-

-Shit hot, Saunders!

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-You too, Annette, you knock out!

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-John, don't you have things to do?

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-What about the lights

-on the Christmas tree?

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-Who pissed on your Corn Flakes

-this morning?

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-Caren Brown has a few hours left

-on the year's last day of work...

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-..and with the assistance

-of John Ogwen's lookalike...

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-..to prepare for a special night.

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-Putting a show on for the community

-has become something of a tradition.

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-We've done pantos, concerts,

-the nativity all kinds of things.

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-We've had loads of fun.

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-Usually, Mam takes everyone out

-for a Chinese after the show.

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-It's a way to get everyone together

-and thank them for their work.

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-As a theme for this year's show...

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-..the mother and daughter team are

-trying something different.

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-Have a cuppa backstage and relax.

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-Have a cuppa backstage and relax.

-

-It's not that one.

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-The purpose of

-'Run Sbit's Got Talent...

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-..is to give the lookalikes a chance

-to show their hidden talents.

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-There's no lack of contributors.

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-Everyone from Shirley Bassey

-to Howard Marks are part of it.

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-What do you call a Welsh celeb

-who smokes dope? Morgan Sgorio.

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-Get it? Sgorio?

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-Shan, if you eat like that

-at the Chinese...

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-..there won't be anything

-left for anyone else.

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-You can't have a talent show

-without a judge.

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-Who better to keep an eye

-on Arfon Wyn and his ilk...

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-..than Elin Fflur and Tudur Owen?

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-I don't know what's going on

-to be honest.

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-I know we're here

-to judge this thing.

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-From what I understand, as judges,

-we pick three we like for the final.

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-The audience

-will then pick a winner.

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-Is that what's happening?

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-We're not picking the winner then?

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-I didn't know that.

-It shows how much I listen.

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-I'm just looking forward

-to sinking my teeth...

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-..into those pork balls later.

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-Hywel Gwynfryn's lookalike is really

-looking forward to the evening.

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-I've been in this game

-for fifty years, lad.

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-I believe in giving 100% every time.

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-Some of these people are only here

-for the food after the show.

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-I'm in it to win it every time.

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-MUSIC SKIPS

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-John, Hywel's CD is stuck!

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-John!

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-John!

-

-Sorry, Car!

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-Sort that tree out too, will you?

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-Sort that tree out too, will you?

-

-Alright, I'm on the case.

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-As Caren keeps order at the hall...

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-..Linda Brown has a few tasks

-to complete for the evening.

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-Three hundred, four hundred,

-there you go.

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-Thanks.

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-They'll get a good feed with that.

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-They'll get a good feed with that.

-

-They cost me a fortune, Penri!

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-The lookalikes work hard

-on these shows.

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-Dear me, you need a mortgage

-to afford to feed them.

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-Thank God, Tommo can't make it.

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-That will save us some money,

-won't it?

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-Right then, how many are left now?

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-Where are we?

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-With the company taking great pride

-in their professional productions...

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-..Linda is determined

-'Run Sbit's Got Talent...

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-..will have all the trimmings.

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-..will have all the trimmings.

-

-A confetti cannon.

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-If we're going to host this evening,

-we may as well do it right.

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-In for a penny, in for a pound.

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-I got in touch with a chap

-from Manchester.

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-One of those things

-they've got on the Max Factor.

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-The biggest one you've got.

-No expense spared.

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-I didn't expect the thing

-to be so expensive.

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-Dear Lord, how much?

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-I'd overspent on the night already,

-truth be known.

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-It'll have to be the small one then,

-won't it?

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-With the spending on the night,

-scraping the company's coffers...

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-Hold on, I'll just get a biro.

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-..even Linda Brown has to accept

-that some things are out of reach.

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-Things get feet here,

-you wouldn't believe it.

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-Or does she?

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-How much did you say

-the big one was again?

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-One, two, three hundered pounds. OK?

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-Drive carefully.

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-It'll be sound, no worries.

-Manchester's me old stomping ground.

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-Having convinced Alun, John ac Alun

-to get the cannon for her...

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-..how does Linda feel about

-using money put aside...

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-..for the company's Christmas party

-for something so extreme?

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-My priority is to put on a good show

-for the community...

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-..whatever the cost.

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-I'll tell them

-there's no party this year.

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-Don't dilly-dally on the way. OK?

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-No worries, no worries.

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-No worries, no worries.

-

-The show starts at seven, remember!

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-No problem.

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-Over at Ogwen Hall,

-rehearsals continue.

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-Things seem to be going very well.

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-Your card is the four of hearts!

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-Well, mostly.

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-BUZZER

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-Sorry, love,

-I was testing these for Tuds.

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-You were very good, Rwdlan.

-Fair play.

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-I'm Efa Dafydd from Llangefni

-and I'm Rwdlan's lookalike.

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-The character Rwdlan

-is well known all over Wales.

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-The determined, mischievous,

-young witch...

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-..has entertained generations

-of children with her adventures.

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-Determined is a word that you could

-use to describe her lookalike Efa...

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-..according to her teacher.

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-She has a strong personality.

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-If Efa puts her mind to something,

-I say look out.

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-Mam says I'm getting an iPhone 8

-and a horse for Christmas.

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-I don't want to do more.

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-Don't be like that.

-I'll tell you what we'll do.

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-Rwdlan can be a little,

-what's the word, touchy, maybe?

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-That's how it goes,

-I'm sure I was the same at her age.

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-She just needs a little coaxing.

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-We'll agree on that then.

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-Shake on it? Right then.

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-Let's sit down and watch Uncle

-Dudley doing his silly show.

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-Caren, I'm sorry, but I thought I

-asked for a table for chopping on.

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-Sorry. John, where's Dudley's table?

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-What are you doing with that book?

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-What are you doing with that book?

-

-What book?

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-I've taken bets

-on this silly talent show.

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-It was just a little fun.

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-A pound here and there.

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-It would be ta-ta if the

-Witches of Eastwick found out.

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-Your mother's asked me

-to check the orders for the Chinese.

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-You said Egg Fried Rice,

-didn't you, Hyw?

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-Peking Duck!

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-It was Peking Duck.

-What's wrong with me?

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-There was something odd

-going on there.

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-We're cooking with gas now.

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-Give me a shout

-if you want anything else.

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-I'll be sorting something

-in the back.

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-I'll see you later.

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-I'll see you later.

-

-John!

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-The tree!

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-The tree!

-

-BUZZER

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-On it like a Scotch Bonnet, Car!

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-On it like a Scotch Bonnet, Car!

-

-Tonight, I'm making some chops.

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-Karate chops.

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-The blocks are made out of cement.

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-They're three inches...

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-They're three inches...

-

-BUZZER

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-While Dudley turns the heat up...

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-..outside, things might

-get even hotter...

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-..as Linda arrives with

-what could be bad news for the gang.

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-As I said,

-the success of the evening...

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-..is more important to the company.

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-If buying this confetti machine

-means they don't get a party...

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-..they'll just have to accept it.

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-That wood was three-quarters

-of an inch thick.

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-The power comes from the knee

-through to the wood.

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-Is everything alright?

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-We're fine here, aren't we, Rwdlan?

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-We're fine here, aren't we, Rwdlan?

-

-Yes.

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-Listen,

-I wanted a word about the Chinese.

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-I'm having two puddings tonight!

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-I'm having two puddings tonight!

-

-Sorry?

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-We weren't sure if we were going to

-take part in the show, Auntie Linda.

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-Oh, I don't know.

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-And a large Coca-Cola.

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-I've said she can have a pudding

-if she takes part in the show.

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-You said two puddings

-and a Coca-Cola.

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-Two puddings and a Coca-Cola.

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-Thanks Dudley! They'll love that.

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-What did you want?

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-What did you want?

-

-Um.

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-Nothing, it doesn't matter.

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-That put the spanner

-amongst the pigeons.

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-I couldn't let the little girl down.

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-I had to get that Chinese money

-from somewhere.

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-I'm going to win, Auntie Linda.

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-I'm going to win, Auntie Linda.

-

-Yes, you are.

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-She's very good, honestly.

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-She's very good, honestly.

-

-Is she?

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-Absolutely. You're going to wipe the

-floor with them, Rwds, aren't you?

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-Can you find John Ogwen?

-He's supposed to fix the lights.

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-2 would bring a return of 12.

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-Howard Marks is 10-3.

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-Ten to three what, John?

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-Dear me, Linda!

-Ten to three, is that the time?

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-I thought it was time for a cuppa.

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-My mouth is as dry

-as Mandy Gums' toothbrush.

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-Excuse me.

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-Excuse me.

-

-Don't bullshit me, John Ogwen.

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-You're taking bets again.

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-I don't know how many times I've

-told him but he's always scheming.

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-I wouldn't throw him as far

-as I can trust him.

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-100 on Rwdlan.

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-Still to come...

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-Will Linda's gamble pay off?

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-I thought you said she'd win.

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-Will Alun, John ac Alun

-be back in time?

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-I could be a bit late, Linda!

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-How will

-Tudur Owen and Elin Fflur...

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-..get on with judging

-'Run Sbit's Got Talent?

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-It certainly got off with a bang.

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-.

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-Subtitles

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-'Run Sbit are putting

-on their annual Christmas show.

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-How much was the big one?

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-Linda Brown has spent the company's

-Christmas Party budget...

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-..on a confetti cannon.

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-Don't bullshit me, John Ogwen.

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-John Ogwen's been caught taking

-bets on 'Run Sbit's Got Talent.

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-Overall, it's just another normal

-week at 'Run Sbit.

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-Ogwen Hall

-in the village of Bethesda.

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-It's the location of 'Run Sbit

-lookalikes' Christmas Show.

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-The winner of

-'Run Sbit's Got Talent is...

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-..Beti George and her bed of nails.

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-Whoever wins, you need a longer

-pause before announcing the name.

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-Like they do on these programmes.

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-Like they do on these programmes.

-

-Let me show you how, Wynff.

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-There's an hour before

-'Run Sbit's Got Talent starts.

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-With the audience arriving

-at the bar...

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-..there's time for a brief rehearsal

-with the evening's presenters...

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-..Syr Wynff and Aloma.

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-Back to the top,

-just to double-check.

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-After reminding everyone

-of their voting slips, Aloma...

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-..you'll come on

-and present the first act...

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-..which is Dei Tomos

-if I remember.

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-What do you want?

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-What do you want?

-

-I want to go first.

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-Sorry, but the girl

-was too much by the end.

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-No, you're going last, remember?

-We keep the best until last.

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-How about you go out to the back

-to get yourself ready?

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-We'll start soon.

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-Let me show you how to do it.

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-Oh, I could just eat her up.

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-I look forward to watching her

-go through her stuff tonight.

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-Don't excite too much,

-she's dreadful.

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-Dreadful?

-You said she was going to win.

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-Win? Dear me, no.

-I was humouring the little madam.

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-I used to call her Veronica Magnet.

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-I used to call her Veronica Magnet.

-

-Where's my money?

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-Where's that 100 I put

-on that little girl?

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-I want my money back.

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-No way, a bet's a bet, Linda.

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-You knew full well

-she wasn't going to win.

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-You unscrupulous bastard!

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-Who can tell?

-The judges have the last word.

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-She could interrupt

-a bowl of Rice Crispies.

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-If John Ogwen thought he was going

-to get the better of Linda Brown...

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-..he had another thing coming.

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-After a long wait,

-the audience take their seats...

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-..as Caren raises the curtain

-on 'Run Sbit's Got Talent.

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-Could I have your attention?

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-You've all got a piece of paper

-to vote for your favourite.

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-Could you wave them for me, please?

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-Great, right then.

0:14:340:14:36

-We're ready to start.

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-I'm sure you know our judges

-tonight, Tudur Owen and Elin Fflur.

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-And, as you can see,

-we've got one last-minute addition.

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-Fair play, I thought it was a great

-idea to have a third judge there...

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-..a Simon Cowell type.

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-Mam!

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-MUTED APPLAUSE

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-Right, then, we're ready to start.

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-Linda's a judge

-having put 100 on Rwdlan to win?

0:15:060:15:10

-It was guaranteed to be a fix.

0:15:100:15:12

-Like that time, Megan Twin Tub

-beat Spotty Cecil...

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-..to captain the darts team.

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-If everyone's ready, please welcome

-the evening's presenters...

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-..they are Syr Wynff and Aloma!

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-Hello.

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-Tonight, I've got a lover.

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-Tonight, I've got a lover.

-

-That's me!

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-Hello, everyone, howdy-do?

0:15:350:15:37

-Welcome to 'Run Sbit's Got Talent.

0:15:370:15:40

-To-day, to-day...

0:15:420:15:43

-We've started, lads.

-Is everyone ready?

0:15:450:15:48

-We've got a fantastic audience,

-t's full there.

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-Good luck to all of you.

0:15:510:15:53

-Are you OK, Dei?

0:15:540:15:55

-Are you OK, Dei?

-

-I'm a tad nervous to be honest.

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-You'll be just fine.

-Give it your best.

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-It's not just the performers

-who look worried.

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-I wouldn't ask if I wasn't

-completely desperate, Cef.

0:16:030:16:07

-You're a lifesaver.

0:16:080:16:09

-So, give our first act tonight

-a warm welcome.

0:16:100:16:14

-It's Dei Tomos and his one-man band.

0:16:150:16:18

-As the competition gets going...

0:16:220:16:24

-..each contestant

-does their best to impress.

0:16:250:16:29

-I thought that was all fake.

-You pretended.

0:16:290:16:31

-It's not easy with Linda in charge.

0:16:320:16:35

-I could do better than that myself.

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-I could do better than that myself.

-

-Wise up, Linda!

0:16:380:16:40

-I'm Orig Williams and today

-I'm going to do some rapping.

0:16:400:16:46

-Here he is, it's Meical

-from Rownd A Rownd.

0:16:490:16:53

-Eh, Mr Lloyd? Is it your birthday?

-Did nobody get you a cake?

0:16:550:16:59

-No, Meical,

-but there's no need for a fuss.

0:17:040:17:06

-What I do is,

-I cut a lot of pieces of Sellotape.

0:17:070:17:11

-Be they El Bandito's

-wrapping skills...

0:17:110:17:14

-..Meic Stevens' wine-glass

-symphony...

0:17:150:17:18

-..or Plwmsan's electric skills...

0:17:180:17:20

-BOOING

0:17:210:17:21

-BOOING

-

-..there's something for everyone.

0:17:210:17:23

-David from Rownd A Rownd.

0:17:240:17:25

-I think I killed him.

0:17:280:17:29

-Despite the lookalikes' best

-efforts, you can't please everyone.

0:17:310:17:36

-Do you only impersonate

-Rownd A Rownd characters?

0:17:360:17:40

-Yes.

0:17:400:17:42

-Do you want to say something

-to the audience, little Arfon?

0:17:480:17:52

-No.

0:17:520:17:53

-Frank and Frank, you're next, OK?

0:17:580:18:00

-Be careful on the stage,

-Meic Stevens spilt some wine.

0:18:000:18:04

-Backstage, every wait is long...

0:18:040:18:06

-..as Alun, John ac Alun

-returns from Manchester.

0:18:060:18:09

-A confetti cannon,

-your Mam ordered it.

0:18:090:18:12

-I had no idea she'd ordered it.

-Just put it there, please.

0:18:120:18:15

-How you doing?

0:18:170:18:18

-The hairs on the back of my throat

-are all erect.

0:18:290:18:32

-What's wrong with you?

-That was total rubbish.

0:18:320:18:35

-Hello, I'm Malcolm Allen. Clearly.

0:18:360:18:39

-What do you call a rugby player,

-hee hee, who smokes dope?

0:18:400:18:46

-From the serious to the funny, every

-act has the audience's attention.

0:18:470:18:52

-Ray Gravelle!

0:18:560:18:58

-You were terrible,

-I've never seen such a thing.

0:19:010:19:04

-Linda is a perfect Simon Cowell

-with her stinging criticisms.

0:19:070:19:12

-There's one act left.

0:19:120:19:15

-Hello, who are you?

0:19:150:19:17

-Hello, who are you?

-

-I'm Rwdlan.

0:19:170:19:18

-How old are you?

0:19:190:19:20

-I'm five and a half.

0:19:200:19:22

-Oh.

0:19:220:19:23

-I heard you've got a little bunny...

0:19:240:19:26

-..and that she died recently.

0:19:270:19:29

-When I was four.

0:19:300:19:32

-Yes, it's still fresh in your mind.

0:19:320:19:35

-With Linda's hopes of winning

-her money back...

0:19:380:19:41

-..pinned on the diminutive witch...

0:19:410:19:43

-..pinned on the diminutive witch...

-

-And the tissues go in. Oops.

0:19:430:19:46

-..Rwdlan doesn't quite

-turn the magic on.

0:19:470:19:50

-In goes the wand.

0:19:500:19:52

-Whoopsies.

0:19:520:19:53

-Outside, it's clear John Ogwen's

-favour has been called in.

0:19:560:20:00

-Alright, John?

0:20:000:20:02

-Alright, John?

-

-Cef, where have you been?

0:20:020:20:03

-How many did you get?

0:20:030:20:05

-The bloody lot!

0:20:080:20:10

-Hallelujah. Come on, get on with it

-you rascals! Get on with it!

0:20:100:20:15

-We're the lookalikes

-for Cor Glanaethwy.

0:20:150:20:20

-Without doubt, Cor Glanaethwy...

0:20:210:20:23

-..are prominent choral singing

-ambassadors for Wales.

0:20:240:20:28

-The success has lead to an increase

-in work for their lookalikes...

0:20:280:20:32

-..according to Cefin Roberts'

-lookalike.

0:20:330:20:36

-# There's only one Cor Glanaethwy!

0:20:360:20:39

-Aye, it's been mental

-these past few years.

0:20:400:20:43

-Particularly since Glanaethwy

-went on that telly thing.

0:20:440:20:48

-Your card is the four of hearts!

0:20:480:20:53

-It's close enough.

0:20:560:20:58

-Well done, you.

0:20:580:21:00

-We've got a clear winner.

0:21:010:21:02

-We've got a clear winner.

-

-What do you mean, winner?

0:21:020:21:04

-The audience picks the winner,

-not us.

0:21:040:21:07

-I don't think we need

-to bother with this voting.

0:21:070:21:11

-It's clear she's the best.

0:21:110:21:13

-Look! I don't want

-to disappoint her, do you?

0:21:190:21:23

-Hush away, hush away... ahem.

0:21:240:21:27

-I, Syr Wynff ap Concord, the Boss,

-have an important announcement.

0:21:270:21:32

-A little bird has told me

-that there's one act left.

0:21:330:21:37

-Please welcome

-to Cor Glanaethwy's lookalikes.

0:21:380:21:43

-APPLAUSE

0:21:440:21:45

-Everything was going great,

-wasn't it...

0:21:550:21:58

-..until Cefin Roberts turned up

-with his poxy choir.

0:21:580:22:02

-# Oh, oh

0:22:020:22:05

-# Oh, oh

0:22:060:22:08

-# The White Star in a fist of steel

0:22:090:22:13

-# There's a shadow

-of a gun over Bethlehem

0:22:130:22:16

-# No white angel

-singing Hallelujah #

0:22:170:22:24

-Wow, they were fantastic.

0:22:250:22:28

-# The night is long

0:22:290:22:32

-# They know the message

-is more than words #

0:22:330:22:39

-Honest to God, if anything, they're

-better than the real Glanaethwy.

0:22:390:22:43

-# Hallelujah #

0:22:440:22:48

-Fair play to Cef,

-he didn't let me down.

0:22:510:22:54

-# Hallelujah

0:22:550:22:57

-# Hallelujah

0:22:570:22:59

-# Hallelujah

0:23:000:23:01

-# Whoa, whoa, whoa #

0:23:020:23:08

-APPLAUSE

0:23:080:23:09

-That was amazing!

0:23:180:23:21

-That really was, it was incredible.

0:23:210:23:24

-They deserve to be

-in the final three.

0:23:350:23:37

-You're talking through your hat!

0:23:370:23:41

-Following a mature

-and professional discussion...

0:23:410:23:44

-..the judges agree that Dudley,

-Cor Glanaethwy and Rwdlan...

0:23:440:23:49

-..should go through to the final.

0:23:490:23:52

-As the rest of the performers

-have a quiet drink...

0:23:520:23:56

-..it's time

-for the audience to vote.

0:23:560:23:59

-This is rusty.

-Your box isn't rusty, is it?

0:23:590:24:02

-In my opinion, one finalist

-doesn't deserve to be there.

0:24:030:24:07

-I'm not sure. It's between Dudley

-and Glanaethwy to win.

0:24:070:24:10

-I don't know about Rwdlan.

0:24:100:24:12

-It's a one-horse race for me.

0:24:120:24:15

-Glanaethwy!

0:24:160:24:17

-I've got more Glanethwy's here.

0:24:180:24:20

-They're doing quite well.

0:24:200:24:22

-As the counting gets started...

0:24:230:24:25

-..it's clear

-who the audience's favourite was.

0:24:250:24:28

-It did look like Glanaethwy were

-ahead at one point, didn't it?

0:24:300:24:35

-Glanaethwy.

0:24:350:24:37

-Pass me some water, those mince pies

-don't agree with my stomach.

0:24:370:24:42

-I was sure there were

-more votes than that.

0:24:420:24:46

-Come on, lads,

-it's the last lap now.

0:24:470:24:49

-Come on, Elin.

0:24:500:24:51

-Come along, Linda, you're coming.

0:24:510:24:53

-Come along, Linda, you're coming.

-

-I just want to check my lipstick.

0:24:530:24:55

-Jesus Christ, Linda,

-you won't be prettier.

0:24:550:24:58

-I wouldn't call it vote rigging.

0:25:010:25:04

-I'd like to think of it more

-as an adjustment.

0:25:040:25:08

-The big moment has arrived.

0:25:090:25:11

-It's time for Syr Wynff and Aloma

-to announce the winner.

0:25:120:25:18

-Hush away now.

0:25:190:25:20

-The winner of

-'Run Sbit's Got Talent is...

0:25:200:25:25

-Rwdlan.

0:25:390:25:40

-UNCONVINCING APPLAUSE

0:25:400:25:42

-Hold on! This is a voting slip!

0:25:590:26:03

-It says Glanaethwy on it!

0:26:040:26:06

-It says Glanaethwy on it!

-

-This one too!

0:26:060:26:07

-What?

0:26:070:26:08

-Fix! Fix! Fix! Fix! Fix!

0:26:090:26:10

-Fix! Fix! Fix! Fix! Fix!

-

-I don't know what's happened.

0:26:100:26:12

-Fix! Fix! Fix! Fix! Fix!

0:26:130:26:15

-Fix! Fix! Fix! Fix! Fix!

0:26:160:26:18

-Fix! Fix! Fix! Fix! Fix!

0:26:190:26:21

-I think I can explain what's

-happened here, Car. Can't I, Linda?

0:26:220:26:27

-BOOING

0:26:290:26:30

-So, without, what we'll call

-"a very generous gift" from Linda...

0:26:380:26:46

-..there wouldn't be

-a party this year, guys!

0:26:470:26:50

-Caren,

-can I offer a toast to your mother?

0:26:500:26:54

-And a mother to all of us.

0:26:550:26:57

-To the immortal Linda Brown!

0:26:580:27:00

-Merry Christmas!

0:27:230:27:25

-Merry Christmas!

-

-Merry Christmas!

0:27:250:27:26

-S4C Subtitles by Testun Cyf.

0:27:450:27:47

-.

0:27:470:27:48

Mae un gorchwyl ar ôl i debygwyr 'Run Sbit cyn iddynt fwynhau eu parti 'Dolig ac mae Linda'n benderfynol o greu tipyn o sioe! The look-a-likes have one final job before their festive party!


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