Dros Gymru'n Gwlad 'Run Sbit


Dros Gymru'n Gwlad

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-Subtitles

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-Subtitles

-

-Subtitles

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-I'm Linda Brown...

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-..and this is my daughter, Caren.

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-Together, we run the only

-Welsh celebrity lookalike company.

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-If you need

-that special star's lookalike...

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-..for an event...

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-..contact 'Run Sbit.

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-RADIO

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-"Welcome. It's March 1.

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-"May I be the first to wish you

-a happy St David's Day."

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-March 1 is definitely

-the busiest day of the year...

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-..for 'Run Sbit's lookalike company.

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-This year, Tudur Owen's

-lookalike has a long journey.

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-Yes, Catterick, or Catraeth.

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-Right.

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-To battle.

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-As he begins

-the journey to Yorkshire...

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-..he's not the only one who has

-to get up at the crack of dawn.

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-Sorry, Mrs Critchlow,

-everyone is out.

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-If anything comes up,

-I'll let you know.

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-And you too.

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-Ta-ra.

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-Anglesey Circuit want Dot Davies.

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-It's the same every year.

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-Come St David's Day,

-it's crazy here.

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-Every Tom, Dick and Harry

-wants to celebrate being Welsh.

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-It's great for us...

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-..especially when people want

-the same lookalike every year.

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-But we're quite full on.

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-Let's say Menai Bridge

-is half an inch.

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-She should get

-to Rhosneigr by 10.30.

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-The pressure of work is

-so intense over the saint's day...

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-..the mother and daughter company

-has brought in extra help.

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-How many of these do you want, Nain?

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-How many of these do you want, Nain?

-

-Make enough of them.

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-Hi, Dot. Are you alright?

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-Steffan, Caren's son, has come

-to try and organize things.

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-He's Nain's boy, bless him.

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-I think the world of Steff.

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-That's it, Dot.

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-I've made 20, Nain.

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-I've made 20, Nain.

-

-Keep going. I have a lot to do.

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-What is your email?

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-[email protected].

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-God, Dot, I'm sure

-I put too many dots.

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-Give it to me again.

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-Steffan and his craft skills...

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-..isn't the only one

-brought in for March 1.

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-Twenty six, Plas Glyn-y-weddw.

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-Twenty seven,

-the garage, Sarn Mellteyrn.

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-St David, twenty eight,

-the Bryncynan pub, Nefyn.

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-ALL COMPLAIN

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-Fix!

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-Hey, lads, it was

-the luck of the draw. Sorry.

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-As you can imagine, St David

-is in demand this time of year.

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-We tend to bring in temps

-to deal with the rush.

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-There's a great crew again this

-year and new faces, which is nice.

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-Bless you, lads! Amen.

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-I've been doing it

-for eight or nine years.

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-I've washed cars

-and gone on rambles.

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-Once, I carried John Ogwen's

-bag in a golf tournament.

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-I suppose that

-was St David's message...

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-..to help less fortunate people.

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-We're still waiting for one.

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-While we're here,

-I'll have a word with you...

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-..just to say what

-we expect from you today.

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-Nain, there are more here.

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-We don't need as many as that!

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-We used to do a roaring trade

-with the St Davids.

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-But no point

-in spilling milk over it.

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-With demand for the patron

-saint's lookalike falling...

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-..Linda thinks there's

-one reason for the drop.

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-The A55!

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-It's the worst thing

-that ever happened to us.

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-It opened the floodgates to let

-English lookalike companies...

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-..come to Wales

-and take all the work!

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-That's the handy thing

-with this road.

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-You're in Manchester in two hours.

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-The 'Run Sbit Tudur gets

-most of his work over the border.

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-He's on his way to a place where

-many Celts were killed by Saxons...

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-..in the great battle at Catterick.

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-Because it's St David's Day...

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-..I was invited to the school

-to talk to the kids...

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-..and teach them about Welshness

-and the history of the Old North.

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-But it's no easy task to explain

-the village's significance...

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-..to the innocent children.

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-How do you tell children...

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-..their grandparents were

-responsible for cultural genocide?

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-It's a lot for

-the poor things to take on board.

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-'Run Sbit's main rival

-is Amanda Scott Talent.

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-The successful company

-is based in Cheshire.

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-She's nothing like Katherine

-Jenkins! Ours is much better.

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-Linda keeps a very close watch...

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-..on the enemy

-the other side of Offa's Dyke.

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-Look at the size

-of her Gregory Brothers!

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-I want to laugh.

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-Amanda Scott has had some effect

-on business along the coast.

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-But we're holding

-our ground well here.

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-We have loyal customers,

-especially on the Llyn Peninsula.

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-Eunice from Mynytho has died.

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-Sad.

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-Goodness, Ar Log is still going.

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-One Llyn Peninsula event

-has been a cornerstone...

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-..of the 'Run Sbit St David's

-Day celebrations for years.

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-The Nefyn home for the elderly

-want the same lookalike every year.

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-The dears.

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-There it is.

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-They've splashed out

-on the ad this year.

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-I'm Twm Huws from Llanbabo

-and I'm the spitting image of...

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-..huh... Tom Jones.

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-Sir Tom Jones is one

-of Wales's most famous singers.

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-The Pontypridd boy has come far...

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-..since labouring for building

-companies in the Valleys.

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-His lookalike

-is also involved in buildings.

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-During the day, I'm an estate agent.

-The Tom Jones work is a bit of fun.

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-I made suggestions to jazz things up

-and make him more Vegasy.

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-But you know Linda,

-she's stuck in her ways.

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-Tell me, are house prices

-normally this cheap in Wales?

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-Yeah, it's not unusual.

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-But there might be

-something unusual this year.

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-They haven't phoned me either, Tom.

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-You know we do it the same date

-every year. It's not rocket surgery.

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-Tom Jones always makes a hoo-ha,

-saying he has too much work.

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-He should join us

-to see what work is!

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-I'll see you at 3.00pm

-in Gorffwysfan.

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-Set up in the corner,

-by the oxygen thing.

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-If she's in the way, tell

-that cross woman to move. Ta-ra.

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-God! Did you put a teabag in this?

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-Better late than never.

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-Back on the bus, the last St David

-has decided to join the holy crew.

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-Everyone will be late.

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-Everyone will be late.

-

-I forgot!

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-You'd forget your head

-if it wasn't stuck on.

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-Right, boys, final check.

-Do you have your crosses?

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-ALL SAY YES

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-Bible?

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-Bible?

-

-Yes.

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-Wales boxer shorts?

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-Wales boxer shorts?

-

-Yes.

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-Caren, do you want

-to see the dragon's tongue?

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-LAUGHTER

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-LAUGHTER

-

-Good one.

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-Let's go.

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-Mam, we're on our way.

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-What do you mean,

-you're still in your pyjamas?

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-As the mild monks begin

-their journey westwards...

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-..one lookalike is going

-in the opposite direction.

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-That's it, lads, we're in England.

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-Do you have any rubbish?

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-As he aims for the battlefield

-seared on the nation's memory...

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-..the irony isn't lost on Tuds.

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-"Men went to Catterick

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-"Fleet was their force

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-"Their feast was fresh mead

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-"But it was poison"

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-Wow.

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-Not a clue what it means!

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-Why are you letting him

-struggle like this?

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-He's fine. Stop mollycoddling him!

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-I don't know why...

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-..but I've always felt that

-Mam hasn't much time for Steff.

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-What's wrong with her, saying that?

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-He could take a bit more

-interest in the office...

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-..to keep the business going.

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-That doesn't mean

-I don't like the little devil.

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-I'm quite hurt about that, really.

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-Hello, Linda.

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-How are you?

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-Make room for one

-of your uncle Davids.

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-Come to sit with your mother, love.

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-No time, no see!

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-Take a pew.

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-David Number One, you have two hours

-to do your stuff. Enjoy yourself.

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-Number Five.

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-The holy pilgrims continue the

-journey round the Llyn Peninsula.

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-Remember you're working for us.

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-One by one, the saints

-have been dispersed...

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-..to do good work for 'Run Sbit.

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-Number twelve, we're here.

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-Funland Pwllheli

-booked you for two hours.

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-We'll pick you up at three.

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-We'll pick you up at three.

-

-Remember to do the bloody Mary.

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-Right, Sarn Mellteyrn.

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-# He has Wales's children

-in his hand

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-# He has Wales's children

-in his hand #

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-Although the sacred crew

-is in good spirits...

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-..Tom Jones's lookalike

-isn't so cheery now.

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-Linda's stubbornness means

-he has to close the shop early...

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-..to entertain Nefyn's pensioners.

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-I could have done without that. I

-cancelled a viewing because of her.

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-Please!

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-In part two...

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-..will Caren get 30 St Davids

-to their bookings on time?

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-How will Tom Jones fare

-in the home for the elderly?

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-Too late.

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-What will Catterick's children

-think of Tudur Owen's lesson?

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-So there you have it.

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-.

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-*

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-Do you want to see

-the dragon's tongue?

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-Thirty St Davids arrive in Llyn.

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-It's the same date every year.

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-Linda's lack of communication means

-Tom Jones has to close shop early.

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-Over the border...

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-We're in England.

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-Tudur Owen is giving English

-children a history lesson.

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-Remember the bloody Mary.

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-All in all, another ordinary day

-for 'Run Sbit.

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-The bus reaches its destination.

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-Come to help Nain.

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-Linda prepares to meet Tom Jones.

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-What happened to the bara brith?

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-Caren is only halfway

-through her journey.

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-You'll be like a balloon.

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-Back to Funland Pwllheli.

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-It's like painting

-the Severn Bridge.

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-Meanwhile, in the Old North...

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-..Tudur reaches his destination.

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-It reeks of money.

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-I'd never travelled

-so far north before.

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-To think Wales stretched

-all the way up there once.

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-Amazing.

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-Good morning, Miss Clarkson.

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-It's a special day in Wales.

-It's St David's Day.

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-We're very lucky today to have

-the lookalike of Mr Tudur Owen...

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-..to talk to you about it.

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-Let's give a warm Yorkshire welcome

-to him.

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-Hello, children. Can any of you

-tell me what flag this is?

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-Yes, young man?

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-Yes, young man?

-

-Is it the England flag?

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-Well... not exactly.

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-No, you're confused.

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-It's Caren's son.

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-It's Caren's son.

-

-Eh?

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-Caren's son!

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-Is this working?

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-Caren's son!

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-One, two. One, two.

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-Tom is here. She's lost the plot.

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-Are you OK?

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-One, two.

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-One, two.

-

-Hiya, Tom. Are you OK?

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-Hello.

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-Hello.

-

-You're not Tom Jones!

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-No, I'm a lookalike.

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-No, I'm a lookalike.

-

-What?

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-I'm a Tom Jones lookalike.

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-I'm a Tom Jones lookalike.

-

-But Tom Jones is a lookalike!

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-Sorry?

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-You can't be a lookalike of a

-lookalike! It doesn't make sense.

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-What have you done

-with the real lookalike?

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-Is there a problem?

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-Amanda Scott. I had a feeling

-she had something to do with it.

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-Hasn't Geoffrey told you?

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-They've decided to go for a more

-upmarket Tom Jones this year.

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-Where's Geoff?

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-Through there.

-There's someone with him.

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-Geoff, what the hell is going on?

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-Geoff, what the hell is going on?

-

-Linda!

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-Don't get up, Mrs Evans. Who on

-earth is that English Tom Jones?

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-It's something new this year.

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-It's something new this year.

-

-Something new?!

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-They don't want something new,

-do you, Mrs Evans?

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-The thing is, Amanda Scott Talent's

-Tom Jones was cheaper.

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-And they brought knickers

-for the old dears to throw at Tom.

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-The knickers are a nice touch.

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-He wasn't a patch on our Tom Jones.

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-One, two.

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-# Sex bomb, sex bomb

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-# You're my sex bomb #

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-One, two.

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-Some knickers there for you, love,

-to throw at Sir Tom later on.

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-# Baby you can turn me on #

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-It's not going well for Tuds,

-either.

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-Not far from this school,

-there was a great big battle...

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-..between the Old Welsh

-and the Old English.

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-Yes?

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-My Dad said the Saxons

-were here before the Celts.

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-Did he now?

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-The Davids are performing miracles

-on the Llyn Peninsula.

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-He's doing a grand job.

-He's an absolute saint.

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-The saints are a hit from

-garages to gardening centres.

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-On Pant Gwyn Farm, Tudweiliog,

-Gareth Williams is over the moon.

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-I can't go wrong.

-25 for half a day's work.

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-A farmhand would expect 60 or 70.

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-You'd get no-one

-around here for that price.

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-'Run Sbit's Tom Jones

-arrives in Gorffwysfan.

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-How will he react to the news

-he's had a wasted journey?

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-What do you mean, cancelled?!

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-They don't want you. That blinking

-Amanda Scott has an English one.

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-Don't go there! I'm furious!

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-Just because they supply knickers!

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-How often have I said

-we should use knickers!

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-Too late now.

-We lost the bloody contract.

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-That's the trouble with 'Run Sbit!

-We don't fight for the work.

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-Gone are the days

-when being Welsh was enough.

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-We have to compete with the world!

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-How did it go?

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-How did it go?

-

-OK.

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-Caren rounds up the Davids.

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-It's obvious not everyone

-is as sober as a saint.

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-Come on. Look at the state on you.

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-Why did you have to drink so much?

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-Why did you have to drink so much?

-

-It's a habit.

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-Give that to me. Bus, this minute!

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-# Down the road I look

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-# And there runs Mary

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-# Hair of gold

-and lips like cherries

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-# It's good to touch

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-# The green, green grass of home #

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-Let's get your knickers out.

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-# Yes, they'll all come to see me

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-# Arms reaching #

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-The pensioners reach for their

-underwear and discover a problem.

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-# It's good to touch

-the green, green grass of home #

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-As she waits for Caren

-to pick her up...

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-..Linda has no choice

-but to kill time.

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-Does your vicar

-have a nose like Derek Brockway?

0:17:550:17:59

-No.

0:17:590:18:00

-What's going on there?

0:18:090:18:11

-Is there a problem?

0:18:170:18:18

-Is there a problem?

-

-Yes. There is a problem.

0:18:180:18:20

-These knickers

-have got the Union Jack on them.

0:18:200:18:24

-Yes, and so what?

0:18:240:18:26

-It's our St David's Day,

-a Welsh celebration.

0:18:260:18:29

-Welsh, English, what's

-the difference? We're all British.

0:18:300:18:34

-GASPS

0:18:350:18:36

-When she said that,

-it was finished.

0:18:390:18:42

-Hold on. Don't you go

-waving that thing around here.

0:18:430:18:47

-Where is the green in his song

-on your flag?

0:18:470:18:51

-All I see is the blue of the water

-that drowned our villages.

0:18:510:18:56

-I see no dragon...

0:18:560:18:58

-..the dragon whose tongue you

-tried to silence a thousand times.

0:18:590:19:04

-You won't be silencing this dragon,

-love.

0:19:040:19:08

-Will that flag ever mean

-anything to us?

0:19:080:19:13

-Will it? Will it?

0:19:130:19:15

-I don't think so.

0:19:160:19:18

-So knickers to you and knickers

-to your bloody Union Jack as well.

0:19:180:19:23

-CHEERS

0:19:230:19:25

-Come on, Tom.

0:19:280:19:30

-Amanda Scott isn't

-the only one to rock the boat.

0:19:340:19:38

-This is our national flower. Yes?

0:19:380:19:41

-Dad said that the Welsh

-are a bunch of parasitic...

0:19:410:19:44

-..pinched-faced sheep botherers.

0:19:450:19:47

-When he said that, it was finished.

0:19:490:19:52

-After a successful day,

-Caren arrives to get her mother.

0:20:010:20:05

-Little does she know

-what awaits her.

0:20:060:20:08

-Was that Amanda Scott?

0:20:080:20:11

-Where is Tom Jones?

0:20:120:20:12

-Where is Tom Jones?

-

-He's gone and good riddance.

0:20:120:20:14

-Where?

0:20:150:20:16

-I told him to pack his bags.

0:20:160:20:17

-I told him to pack his bags.

-

-What am I going to do?

0:20:170:20:19

-The ladies look forward

-to the St David's Day do!

0:20:200:20:23

-You should have thought of that

-before cancelling our Tom Jones.

0:20:230:20:27

-Shut up and go away.

0:20:280:20:28

-Shut up and go away.

-

-Don't talk to Steff like that!

0:20:280:20:31

-He hasn't done anything.

0:20:310:20:33

-All he has done

-is play with pieces of paper.

0:20:330:20:37

-I wanted a grandson to carry on the

-company. You couldn't give me that.

0:20:370:20:42

-So this is all my fault?

0:20:420:20:44

-When she said that, it was finished.

0:20:450:20:48

-You should have married

-the Morgan Sgorio lookalike.

0:20:490:20:52

-Their argument

-reveal some home truths.

0:20:530:20:56

-Is 'Run Sbit's future in jeopardy?

0:20:560:20:59

-It's your fault I didn't marry him!

0:20:590:21:02

-Salvation

-comes from an unexpected source.

0:21:020:21:05

-I don't blame him for walking out!

0:21:060:21:08

-# For Wales our land

0:21:090:21:13

-# Oh father, hear our prayer #

0:21:140:21:17

-I had no idea he could sing.

0:21:190:21:22

-He was exactly like Aled Jones.

0:21:230:21:25

-No wonder the boys

-came off the bus to hear him.

0:21:250:21:28

-# With a mighty shield

0:21:320:21:35

-# Guard us, defend our faith

0:21:380:21:41

-# Make Wales a haven #

0:21:440:21:45

-I felt quite emotional.

0:21:460:21:48

-All the ladies wanted

-to throw knickers.

0:21:490:21:52

-It was the only thing I could do.

0:21:530:21:55

-# For the sake of the Son

0:21:550:21:58

-# Who died upon the cross #

0:22:000:22:04

-Boys, do the little things,

-that you saw and heard from me.

0:22:050:22:10

-# Create a land

0:22:110:22:12

-# Worthy of His name

0:22:130:22:16

-# Create a land

0:22:190:22:23

-# Worthy of His name #

0:22:250:22:27

-APPLAUSE

0:22:280:22:30

-Hello, Mrs Critchlow?

0:22:360:22:38

-Good news. I've got Aled Jones.

0:22:390:22:41

-Yes. He's amazing.

0:22:430:22:45

-We'll bring him over. Ta-ra!

0:22:460:22:49

-Something tells me

-things are looking up for us.

0:22:520:22:56

-Look, how pretty.

0:22:580:23:00

-Look, Caren.

-It looks like a real daffodil.

0:23:010:23:05

-It's the spitting image.

0:23:060:23:08

-# Heavenly raindrops

0:23:090:23:13

-# Fall on arid desert

0:23:130:23:15

-# Turning it into a sacred garden

0:23:160:23:19

-# Where young saplings thrive

0:23:200:23:22

-# Our dear language

-heard triumphantly

0:23:220:23:26

-# Proclaiming praise

0:23:260:23:30

-# To the worthy

0:23:300:23:32

-# Lamb of God #

0:23:330:23:39

-S4C Subtitles by Gwead

0:23:400:23:42

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0:23:420:23:42

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