Pontshan Straeon Tafarn

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-Welcome to a special edition

-of Straeon Tafarn.

-I'm in the heart of Ceredigion

-and heading for Banc Sion Cwilt.

-"Where?" I hear you ask.

-It's a rural area

-about five miles from New Quay.

-Later, I'm joined by the band Radwm

-and an interesting character.

-Until then,

-you can enjoy an hour in my company.

-What could be better?

-Yes, I know... half an hour.

-The pub in the spotlight

-is the Glan-yr-Afon Arms, Talgarreg.

-In this programme, I'm telling

-the story of a personal hero.

-He was one of the best comics

-in Wales, namely Eirwyn Pontsian.

-Who was Eirwyn Pontsian?

-Let's step back in time

-to the 1950s and 1960s...

-..to the tranquil area

-of Banc Sion Cwilt.

-Home to respectable folk

-who competed in eisteddfodau...

-..it was a stronghold

-of all that is Welsh.

-What was Eirwyn's role?

-Well, he entertained the Welsh

-in the pub.

-Ask an Englishman for the time.

-He won't admit to not owning a watch

-- he'll lift his arm and guess.

-The point is, "If you're

-not important, look important!"

-He knew everyone.

-DJ Williams, Dafydd Iwan...

-..Hywel Gwynfryn, Geraint Jarman...

-..and even Lyn Ebenezer!

-A bureaucrat was travelling by train

-from Llanelli to Carmarthen.

-He had a bowler hat on his head

-and held a leather briefcase.

-He noticed that

-his travelling companion...

-..moved his head back and forth

-every day.

-After three weeks, he asked the man

-why he was moving his head.

-"This is how I tell the time,"

-he said.

-The man asked the time and he said,

-"It's now quarter past nine."

-The bureaucrat looked at his watch,

-but it was half past nine.

-"I must have slowed down!"

-he replied.

-Eirwyn Pontsian

-was an original comedian.

-He didn't belong

-to the traditional establishment.

-His jokes and stories

-were about everyday folk...

-..and his material

-could be quite risque!

-People flocked to his performances

-across Wales.

-He was the Eisteddfod fringe

-before the fringe even existed!

-These days, few people

-remember Eirwyn at his best.

-Thankfully, Ryland Teifi

-can recreate the stories.

-"Three things ease my heart.

-"A pint in Aberaeron

-"A double gin in Abermad

-And a toilet in Tregaron!

-This is how Dic Jones put it.

-"Some beers are better than others.

-No beer is ever bad.

-"But it's in the company of friends

-That the best beer's to be had."

-Ryland Teifi pays a perfect tribute

-to Eirwyn...

-..but I wanted to know where the

-real Eirwyn's talent stemmed from.

-Emyr Llew joined me to explain.

-He's only small,

-but he has an enormous brain.

-His grandmother

-was his biggest influence.

-Her name was Ruth Mynachlog

-and she was a very special lady.

-She and Eirwyn

-shared the same humour.

-When her health was failing

-and she couldn't attend chapel...

-..she asked Eirwyn

-to read from the Bible.

-When Eirwyn grew tired of reading...

-..he altered the verses

-in order to add humour.

-One verse was...

-.."Cast thy bread upon the waters,

-but make sure the tide's coming in!"

-Pontsian was a fan of Idwal Jones.

-Idwal Jones is one

-of the greatest men of our nation.

-For starters,

-he was a great comedian.

-He was in college

-with Waldo Williams.

-They lived in the same digs

-and composed limericks together.

-They coined the term Idwalism

-to refer to any absurdity.

-This is an example of Idwal Jones's

-work that Eirwyn liked a lot.

-"Oh, to live a pleasant life

-Beneath a brand-new silk umbrella

-"Then to sail so very slowly

-In a bread bin down the river!"

-Aren't Idwalisms great?

-Another important influence

-was Eirwyn's headmaster...

-..at Talgarreg school,

-Tom Stevens.

-He established

-an Urdd Aelwyd in the village.

-That gave Eirwyn the chance

-to hone his performing skills.

-Eirwyn was a carpenter...

-..who used his experiences

-to entertain people.

-I remember the story

-of Twm and Jac building a barn.

-There were three posts

-on either side.

-At midday, they discovered that the

-middle post was a foot too short.

-All afternoon, they pondered over

-what to do about the short post.

-At teatime, Twm had a brainwave.

-"Dear Lord, bring forth a breeze,

-A strong breeze from on high

-"So it can raise the middle post

-A foot closer to the sky!"

-Yes, the middle post is important.

-Eirwyn spoke about everyday life,

-but he also created absurd tales.

-He was the Spike Milligan

-of my generation...

-..but they were Idwalisms to him.

-I was waiting

-for the forestry lorry.

-When the forestry boys jumped

-on board, I would jump on too...

-..unbeknown to the driver,

-of course.

-I would ride on the lorry until it

-reached the Llanybydder crossroads.

-But this time, it was a cold,

-dark, black morning...

-..and it was pouring with rain,

-so it wasn't a nice morning!

-I jumped off the lorry, but do you

-know where the lorry had stopped?

-It was on the bridge

-in Llanybydder.

-I jumped off and landed

-with a splash in the River Teifi.

-Down I went,

-into the depths of the river.

-I said to myself,

-"Eirwyn, the end is nigh!"

-I was lying there,

-stuck on the river bed.

-I moved through the floods,

-down the River Teifi.

-I held my breath and swam.

-Then, I saw a large pipe

-in front of me.

-I went through it.

-Do you know where I came out?

-I came out in the lavatory

-of Cilgwyn Mansion, Newcastle Emlyn.

-It's true.

-I looked up to the heavens...

-..and this is what I saw

-in the lavatory.

-It was a large face without a nose.

-I thought that I should show

-some courtesy.

-I composed myself

-and said, "Good morning."

-The reply was delivered

-in a colourful language.

-FARTING NOISE

-A face without a nose?

-Only Eirwyn could say that!

-It was time to learn more about him,

-so I turned to his books.

-He published two books,

-which is two more than Bryn Fon!

-"I didn't attend grammar school

-or college.

-"Dennis and I learnt

-by reading Y Cymro and Y Faner...

-"..and listening

-to the likes of Dewi Emrys.

-"Any important information

-was recorded in our book of facts.

-"Dewi lent Twf Llen Cymru to me.

-"That book

-introduced me to other books.

-"Dewi had a lot of time

-for people like us.

-"People who were willing

-to listen and learn.

-"He always had a kind word

-and advice to those on the margins."

-Dewi Emrys was a poet

-and an unconventional person...

-..who once lived in Talgarreg.

-He was like an owl,

-sleeping all day and awake at night!

-Eirwyn spent hours with him

-at the Glan-yr-Afon...

-..and at his house across the road.

-How convenient!

-Dewi Emrys once said...

-..that a man should have

-a long neck like a giraffe...

-..so that he can taste the beer

-as it goes all the way down!

-Idwal Jones often wrote about people

-on the margins of society.

-"Not the proud or the wealthy...

-"..but those who are weary

-on the journey and have not rested.

-"The weak and those in pain."

-They were important to Idwal.

-I think this appealed to Eirwyn.

-In that sense,

-Eirwyn himself was on the margins.

-He spoke about nationalism

-when nationalism was not popular.

-Eirwyn had this depth

-of understanding...

-..that he shared with Dewi Emrys

-and Idwal Jones.

-They were strong influences

-on his life.

-A call of nature is important,

-it's very important.

-I was with my brother, John,

-and Ianto Llwyn Crwn...

-..riding our bikes

-from Llan-non to Llanrhystud.

-Ianto Llwyn Crwn stopped

-in the middle of the road.

-He shouted, "Boys, I need to jump

-over the hedge to drop my trousers."

-And he jumped over the hedge.

-My brother, John, and I

-waited for him.

-Five minutes, ten minutes,

-quarter of an hour.

-Half an hour passed,

-so we went to look for him.

-We jumped over the hedge...

-..and there he was squatting

-and crying out...

-.."Boys! Boys! I'm stuck, boys!"

-Without a word of a lie,

-he was stuck.

-Let me tell you, his bottom

-had closed around a daisy!

-LAUGHTER

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-I had a dear friend,

-the vicar of Penstwffwl.

-The vicar of Penstwffwl had learnt

-to speak the Welsh language.

-He made a real effort

-but still made a few errors.

-He would often come to me and say...

-.."Eirwyn, I've made a hen-up!"

-However, he was a dear friend.

-He liked soap and sent his shirts

-to be washed at the laundry.

-If he thought there was

-too much starch on his shirt...

-..he sent a little note

-with his shirts saying...

-.."A little too much starch."

-On one occasion, two days later,

-the clothes came back...

-..and they didn't appear

-to be very clean.

-A note had been attached

-to his underwear and it read...

-.."A little less excrement!"

-I'll be sure

-not to take my clothes there!

-Pontsian's humour

-was that of the common man.

-He hated many things

-that I despise too.

-One of his biggest pet hates

-was hypocrisy.

-Emyr Llew is still with me.

-He remembers this side of Eirwyn.

-He used clever phrases such as

-a clean-shaven bilingual man.

-..to refer to a man who felt

-that speaking Welsh was beneath him.

-And he came up with them?

-And he came up with them?

-

-Yes.

-In this area, the sons of rich

-farmers were proud and boastful.

-They looked down on country folk

-and Eirwyn mocked them for this.

-They always referred

-to Daddy's Volvo.

-He categorized them

-as Daddy's Volvo boys.

-These people can still be found.

-Anyway, poetry

-was very important to Eirwyn.

-I still remember hearing him recite

-the Prosser Rhys poem, Cymru.

-It's one of the most

-patriotic poems of our language.

-"But our fate is clinging

-to Wales as it stands

-"Watching, despite its weariness,

-the claim of its disgrace and woe

-"Wales, no matter

-what her fate may be

-"Will fill every part of my body

-"And if the uprooted and ambitious

-"Still claim their worthy comrades

-pledge that they are scorned

-"I say this and give my word that I

-will stand and die with them."

-Yes, Eirwyn was a nationalist,

-if you haven't guessed that already!

-Lyn Ebenezer, the journalist

-and a man who knows everything...

-..told me how Eirwyn

-discovered Plaid Cymru.

-He told me that a tea merchant

-called Dic Te explained it to him.

-He told him about the arson attack

-on Penyberth.

-This is when he first learnt

-what nationalism was.

-He suffered a number of beatings...

-..because of his honesty.

-He stood his ground,

-a little man challenging the bully.

-I always think of him in that way.

-He was a great admirer

-of Cayo Evans.

-Eirwyn and I

-had one thing in common.

-Cayo gave us both a tattoo.

-It looks more like a poodle

-than a red dragon!

-If he was angered,

-he'd raise his sleeve and say...

-"Wales, no matter

-what her fate may be

-"Will fill every part of my body."

-The burning of the bombing school

-at Penyberth by Saunders Lewis...

-..DJ Williams and Lewis Valentine

-left quite an impression.

-He was proud of the tattoo...

-..from Cayo Evans, the leader

-of the FWA, the Free Wales Army.

-It's like talking

-about another world...

-..but it wasn't that long ago!

-Luckily, Reverend Cen Llwyd

-dropped in to see me.

-He was behind the same corner

-as everyone else!

-He's a Unitarian, which probably

-explains why he's come alone.

-We reminisced about how different

-Wales was back in the 1950s.

-Plaid Cymru didn't have

-any MPs or Assembly Members.

-Plaid Cymru didn't have

-a lot of councillors either...

-..but Eirwyn

-was an ardent nationalist.

-While in Pontsian,

-he formed a branch of the party.

-His book tells the story

-of a dispute with a neighbour...

-..when he lived at Pengelli

-in Pontsian.

-The English neighbour complained...

-..about the condition of the border

-between their properties.

-Eirwyn's sheep

-were straying onto his land.

-Eirwyn said that the Wales-England

-border needed fixing too.

-He didn't care what others thought

-of him and he always spoke his mind.

-He did get a few beatings

-because of this.

-Friendship is very important.

-The English are different to us

-because they love money.

-"We are God's chosen few,

-all others will be damned.

-"There's no room in heaven for you,

-we can't have heaven crammed!"

-The Welshman is very different.

-This is because...

-this is because...

-"Love the best you can,

-love whilst you are poor.

-"Love the smile of love,

-love is everything

-"Heaven will be a very small place

-"For the man who keeps it

-to himself!"

-It was simple because everything

-was black and white for Eirwyn.

-The English were the enemy...

-..and the Welsh

-were always in the right.

-He told a story about him

-and Madame Patti in the Albert Hall.

-King Edward had left a message

-for Madame Patti.

-He wanted to meet her

-after the show for some high jinks!

-However, the letter

-arrived in Pontsian by mistake.

-"Madame Patti and I

-in the Albert Hall!"

-He met the King, who was upset

-because Madame Patti wasn't there.

-The tears fell from his eyes

-and dripped on the floor.

-Edward turned to Eirwyn and said...

-"Taff, my boy, Taff, my boy,

-remember my words.

-"If you're ever in trouble,

-try to get out of it!"

-Poo is a lovely word.

-Yes, poo is a lovely word.

-There's something soft...

-..something soft and beautiful

-about it, don't you think?

-There's nothing wrong

-with the word turd.

-There's nothing wrong with it.

-Turd is an acceptable word...

-..because of its association

-with the Royal Family.

-Let me explain.

-You had Richard the Turd.

-Henry the Turd.

-George the Turd.

-If Charles ever

-becomes King of England...

-..we'll have Charles the Turd.

-He would use the Royal Family

-to poke fun at the establishment...

-..and to mock the relationship

-between us as a nation...

-..with the Royal Family,

-royalty and Britishness.

-He despised this element

-of Britishness...

-..and not necessarily the English.

-It was this Britishness

-that restricted us...

-..from growing and developing

-into an independent nation.

-Eirwyn didn't live

-to see the National Assembly.

-He died before it was established,

-but he spoke about it.

-He referred to it

-as Jones the Fish's Senate.

-He told me

-about Jones the Fish.

-He said that he and Mrs Jones

-lodged with Jones the Fish...

-..and slept in his parlour.

-However, Jones the Fish

-kept his socks in the drawer...

-..so Jones the Fish was always

-coming into their room.

-He thought that the Assembly

-would face a similar problem.

-He thought that Westminster

-would interfere with the Assembly...

-..just as Jones the Fish

-disturbed Eirwyn and his wife!

-Jones the Fish's Senate.

-I'll call it

-Jones the Fish's Senate from now on!

-That's what I call amazing.

-The ability to explain facts

-in simple terms...

-..so that everyone can understand.

-While you ponder this wisdom,

-let's have a song from Radwm...

-..about something

-Eirwyn often did in his day.

-# We'll drink a dozen bottles

-before the night is over

-# We'll drink a dozen bottles

-before the night is over

-# Before the night, oh-la-la,

-before the night, oh-la-la

-# Before the night is over

-# Before the night, oh-la-la,

-before the night, oh-la-la

-# Before the night is over

-# Don't tell the deacons

-in case we're thrown out

-# Don't tell the deacons

-in case we're thrown out

-# Just in case, oh-la-la,

-just in case, oh-la-la

-# Just in case we're thrown out

-# Just in case, oh-la-la,

-just in case, oh-la-la

-# Just in case we're thrown out

-# Bury me when I die

-in a cellar full of fine wine

-# Bury me when I die

-in a cellar full of fine wine

-# In a cellar, oh-la-la,

-in a cellar

-# In a cellar full of fine wine

-# In a cellar, oh-la-la

-in a cellar, oh-la-la

-# In a cellar full of fine wine

-# Place my feet against the wall

-and my head under the tap

-# Place my feet against the wall

-and my head under the tap

-# Place my head, oh-la-la

-place my head, oh-la-la

-# Place my head under the tap

-# Place my head, oh-la-la,

-place my head, oh-la-la

-# Place my head under the tap

-# On my headstone, you can write

-# "Here lies the biggest drunkard

-of them all"

-# On my headstone, you can write

-# "Here lies the biggest drunkard

-of them all"

-# Here lies, oh-la-la,

-here lies, oh-la-la

-# The biggest drunkard

-of them all

-# Here lies, oh-la-la,

-here lies, oh-la-la

-# The biggest drunkard

-of them all

-# Here lies, oh-la-la,

-here lies, oh-la-la

-# The biggest drunkard

-of them all

-# Here lies, oh-la-la,

-here lies, oh-la-la

-# Here lies

-# The biggest drunkard

-# Of them all #

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-Some 50 years ago,

-an old lad from Caernarfon...

-..transformed the Ten Commandments

-to suit women.

-This is how they read.

-I am your wife and you shall have

-no other wives before me.

-You will not take pleasure

-or possess any items...

-..nor play cards or dominoes

-or take any interest in them...

-..because I am your wife and you

-should put none of these before me.

-You will drink tea when visiting

-friends and relatives...

-..and be kind and welcoming

-when you arrive.

-Honour your father

-and mother-in-law...

-..so that peace will reign

-in our household.

-Do not bear false witness

-against your dinner.

-Even if I serve you

-monkey puzzle tree roots...

-..eat it and tell me it's lovely

-and do not ask for any sauce!

-You will work for six days

-and do all of your work...

-..and on the seventh day,

-which is Saturday night...

-..bring me all of your wages

-so I can spend it as I see fit.

-Do not smoke tobacco

-or take snuff...

-..or drink any gin or whisky...

-..or any other produce

-sold in the tavern.

-Do not feed a tailor

-as if he were a miner...

-..in case he grows strong

-and snaps the thread!

-Those were the Ten Commandments

-by Eirwyn Pontsian.

-I would struggle to keep

-many of those.

-I met Eirwyn many times,

-but I can't remember the first time.

-It must be my age...

-..but Lyn Eb remembers

-their first encounter and he's 104!

-I remember it

-as if it were yesterday.

-It was 1959 at the Royal Hotel

-during the Caernarfon Eisteddfod.

-I'd never met the man before.

-I happened to pass

-and heard laughter and applause.

-I was with John Wyn Hughes,

-a friend from Pontrhydfendigaid.

-We peered through the window...

-..and saw a man on a stool

-in a white cap and a moustache.

-Dennis, his friend, stood

-with his hands behind his back.

-Dennis was his agent who made sure

-Pontsian didn't go over the top!

-We listened to his stories

-- I'd never heard anything like it.

-The place was so full that we had

-to go out through a window.

-We left together and became

-firm friends from that day.

-I think he only ever missed

-the Eisteddfod once or twice.

-"The greatest wonder in the world

-Of all those I have found

-"Why is a donkey's faeces square

-When the hole in its bum is round?"

-Pontsian was the fringe.

-Edinburgh is famous for its fringe.

-There are official performances

-but also these peripheral events.

-His performances

-came from nowhere.

-He could be sitting quietly

-in a pub.

-The story spread - Pontsian

-is in the Black or the Red.

-In no time, the pub

-would be full to the rafters.

-He was able to capture his audience

-and maintain their attention.

-I'll never forget

-the Bala Eisteddfod.

-Each night, he promised

-to recite The Crow.

-"I feel as if I'm about to recite...

-I'm going to do it..."

-Then, he sat down, but everyone

-wanted to hear The Crow.

-On the final night

-of the Eisteddfod, he announced...

-.."I'm ready to tell you the long,

-dark tale of the crow."

-"I saw a crow on the meadow fair

-"If it hasn't gone,

-then it's still there!"

-The pub regulars

-were his audience...

-..but he also mixed with

-dignitaries, including Archdruids.

-They won't even speak to me!

-He met Cynan once

-while trying to get into a pub.

-Cynan came to the door and Eirwyn

-recited the poem Mab Y Bwthyn.

-Cynan let him in because Eirwyn

-recited the entire poem.

-By the end of the night,

-Cynan was buying Eirwyn's pints!

-One other person who can testify

-to Eirwyn and Cynan's friendship...

-..is poet Donald Evans,

-who lives in Talgarreg.

-I don't think they carry him around

-every day...

-..only when he's won

-at the Eisteddfod!

-I was carried home once,

-but that's another story!

-He would ask Cynan,

-"Did you give me back my matches?"

-Cynan would end up giving him

-a cigarette.

-Eirwyn used this ploy

-to get a cigarette from Cynan.

-Cynan really liked him.

-Eirwyn told me that Cynan

-had once said...

-.."Eirwyn, my boy.

-"Where did you learn

-about alliteration?"

-The truth was that Eirwyn didn't

-know a thing about alliteration!

-I was very fortunate,

-in 1946, that is...

-..to meet Princess Elizabeth.

-This was before she became Queen,

-of course.

-It was in 1946

-at the Eisteddfod in Mountain Ash.

-I was at the noson lawen...

-..and there was Elizabeth

-at three o'clock in the morning.

-I could see that the young lady

-was tired and fed up!

-Everyone present at that event...

-..was too much of a coward....

-..to offer

-to take the young lady home.

-And there I was.

-I walked over to her

-and offered her my arm.

-She took my arm and we left

-the noson lawen of the Eisteddfod...

-..and made our way

-to the royal coach.

-Who was there sticking his ugly face

-out of the coach?

-It was her father.

-I said, "Goodnight"...

-..and she replied, "Goodnight."

-I could have done a lot more

-than just say goodnight...

-..but that's that, isn't it?

-A or so year later,

-I received a letter from her.

-"My dearest, beloved Eir.

-"I venture to send you

-my photograph.

-"I liked your moustache

-when I saw it in Mountain Ash...

-"..but my father didn't like it.

-"All my love, Liza."

-Wasn't that lovely?

-Just imagine,

-a boy from Pontsian...

-..could have been the father

-of an English monarch.

-As far as I'm aware, Eirwyn didn't

-receive this special honour...

-..but he was honoured

-by a very special society.

-Harris Thomas established it

-at the Aberystwyth Eisteddfod.

-That's when Pontsian

-got his first white cap.

-The Welsh National Drinkers' Union

-was the group's full title.

-Anyone could be a member,

-as long as they didn't drink water!

-According to Eirwyn,

-it was the only union in history...

-..that hasn't been on strike.

-I love the fact that a union

-for drinkers even existed.

-I'm not sure

-if I was a member or not!

-We can learn more about the union

-in his books.

-"One morning,

-a letter arrived from Dennis...

-"..mentioning the half-yearly

-meeting of the Drinkers' Union.

-"One meeting a year

-at the Eisteddfod wasn't enough.

-"A meeting of the Drinkers' Union

-was to take place...

-"..with Reverend Abednego Jones,

-Capel y Wiwer, Ammanford.

-"He would speak about Sir John

-Buckley's influence on Welsh life.

-"It was a large, pioneering meeting

-akin to a revival!"

-As with every other revival,

-songs were needed.

-The Drinkers' Union

-created their own anthem.

-All together!

-# Our song is the high life

-with Dennis and Pontsian

-# Welsh beer

-is the best in the world

-# The vicar of Penstwffwl

-will pay for the lot

-# We are the Drinkers' Union #

-The anthem was composed

-by Harris Thomas.

-Every line from the anthem is based

-on one of Pontsian's stories.

-"There are great things in store

-for the drinkers at the Boar

-"When Walter Pantybarlat

-hits the town."

-"Me and Walter Pantybarlat

-in the Blue Boar.

-"Drink up, boys.

-You cannot put a price on love!"

-Another is, "If Mari keeps her

-jam, under the baby in the pram

-"And if Ned and Madame Patti

-are in heaven

-"The sun will shine again

-bringing crops or weeds

-"We'll return to the gin

-until teatime

-"Our song is the high life!"

-# There are great things in store

-for the drinkers at the Boar

-# When Walter Pantybarlat

-hits the town

-# Are you ready, Mrs Morgan?

-The Englishman plays the organ

-# All together, one, two, three

-# We'll sing to the high life,

-with Dennis and Pontsian

-# Welsh beer

-is the best in the world

-# The vicar of Penstwffwl

-will pay for the lot

-# We are the Drinkers' Union

-# If Mari keeps her jam

-under the baby in the pram

-# And if Ned and Madame Patti

-are in heaven

-# The sun will shine again

-bringing crops or weeds

-# We'll return to the gin

-until teatime

-# We'll sing to the high life

-with Dennis and Pontsian

-# Welsh beer

-is the best in the world

-# The vicar of Penstwffwl

-will pay for the lot

-# We are the Drinkers' Union

-# No-one counts the cost

-or complains of a sore stomach

-# When the Pantycelyn student

-returns

-# If the binder's under the muck,

-the inspector will come

-# Carrying the king

-of the farmyard in his arms.

-# We'll sing to the high life

-with Dennis and Pontsian

-# Welsh beer

-is the best in the world

-# The vicar of Penstwffwl

-will pay for the lot

-# We are the Drinkers' Union

-# We'll sing to the high life

-with Dennis and Pontsian

-# Welsh beer

-is the best in the world

-# The vicar of Penstwffwl

-will pay for the lot

-# We are the Drinkers' Union #

-.

-Subtitles

-Subtitles

-

-Subtitles

-There used to be two shops

-in the village.

-The first was at the top of the hill

-and the other at the bottom.

-The shopkeeper at the foot of the

-hill had a new variety of soap.

-"The new pine soap."

-In order to advertise the soap...

-..he placed a cardboard cut-out

-of an attractive lady in the window.

-She was covered in froth

-to her navel... mmmm....

-..and there was a cat

-under her arm.

-There was an English verse beneath

-the lady and the cat that said...

-"I'm just 18, and full of hope.

-"I wash my pussy

-with new pine soap."

-And he didn't struggle

-to sell soap after that.

-But the shopkeeper at the top

-of the hill didn't sell any soap.

-He worried for many days...

-..but then he had a brainwave.

-One day, he saw a tramp

-walking past his shop window.

-He chased after the tramp,

-gave him some money...

-..and asked him to stand

-in his shop window...

-..and hold a cockerel under his arm.

-AUDIENCE LAUGHS

-You're ahead of me tonight.

-The cockerel was under his arm

-and the message on his lapel read...

-"I'm 84, without much hope,

-I wash my cock with any old soap!"

-Yes, Eirwyn

-could be risque at times...

-..but he also had a serious side.

-Back to the books!

-"When I say these things

-in good company...

-"..and especially

-when I'm in a pub...

-"..people often misunderstand

-what I'm trying to say.

-"It can be quite disheartening

-to see people laughing at you...

-"..when you're totally sincere

-in expressing your feelings.

-"They think it's all light-hearted,

-but they have misunderstood.

-"Humour and seriousness

-are intertwined.

-"There are times

-when you are totally sincere."

-It's a burden,

-sometimes quite a large burden.

-Gwilym Eirwyn Jones

-is my full name...

-..but I'm also known as Pontsian.

-Stewart Jones portrays a character

-called Ifas y Tryc.

-Somehow, I must carry the burden

-of being Gwilym Eirwyn Jones...

-..and that odd little man

-from Pontsian.

-Like every comedian

-worth his weight in gold...

-..there was a sadness,

-a great sadness.

-I only experienced that sadness

-when it was just the two of us.

-He worried

-about all sorts of things...

-..and was a Welshman to the core.

-He was saddened by Wales.

-In his final years, he often said,

-"We're a nation of cowards."

-There are times

-when I contemplate...

-..while using the old tools.

-These days, we have machinery.

-The noise of the machinery

-ruins it all.

-It drowns out any thoughts.

-I think that a man should be able

-to remove himself from his shell.

-He could look

-at himself objectively...

-..and study himself

-in order to find the twist.

-By doing this,

-he could move forward.

-Why look for the splinter

-in your brother's eye...

-..while ignoring the plank

-in your own eye?

-# We'll sing to the high life

-with Dennis and Pontsian

-# Welsh beer

-is the best in the world #

-There's a story of a depressed clown

-who visits a doctor.

-The doctor says,

-"Have a laugh, go and see a clown."

-"I am the clown."

-# The vicar of Penstwffwl

-# Will pay for the lot #

-This depression

-was an integral part of his psyche.

-It was a natural part of him,

-just like his humour.

-# We are the Drinkers' Union #

-I preferred

-his more serious stories.

-There's a story of a boy from the

-Rhondda whose father was a miner.

-The boy said, "Mam, I'm going

-to meet Dada from his shift."

-His mother says, "Don't be silly.

-"The men will all have black faces

-and you won't recognize him."

-"No, but he'll recognize me,"

-he said.

-He was like a philosopher

-with a wealth of truths.

-If a young man

-was being quite boastful...

-..out would come a story

-about Socrates.

-A student turned to Socrates

-and said, "You know nothing."

-Socrates said, "No, I don't, but

-that's the difference between us.

-"I know that I know nothing,

-but you don't!"

-A lot of people today

-should listen to Socrates.

-Eirwyn got the opportunity

-to share his wisdom far from home...

-..at the Granada TV studios

-in Manchester.

-I was asked

-to appear on Dewch I Mewn.

-The biggest thrill that day

-happened over lunch.

-Who was sitting opposite me

-in the canteen...

-..but Margaret Lockwood

-and Shirley Bassey.

-Rhydwen told me to remove my cap.

-People will be wondering

-who the chap in the white cap is.

-After the programme,

-the manager said to me...

-.."Ponty,

-would you like to stay here?"

-This is the honest truth now.

-"Would you like to stay here and

-rehearse for English programmes?"

-I did think about it

-but I headed back to Rhyl.

-I thought about the offer

-the following day...

-..and I did start my way back

-to Granada in Manchester...

-..but I decided against it...

-..because it was in English

-and it was a different world.

-I went home because I was

-at a social in Bont-goch that night.

-I was back with my own people,

-speaking my own language.

-An Englishman won't admit

-that he doesn't own a watch.

-He'll lift his arm

-and guess the time.

-The point is, "If you're

-not important, look important!"

-I'm delighted about one thing.

-My son Dylan was able

-to meet Pontsian...

-..and Pontsian taught him

-these things.

-There was dog excrement on the road

-and he asked "What's that, Dylan?"

-"It's dog mess."

-"That's odd. I thought

-it had come from a bitch!"

-The little boy

-laughed hysterically.

-He loved being with children.

-He had this child-like element

-and he didn't grow out of it.

-I remember another friend.

-Yes, I do have a few friends.

-His name was Felin Bob.

-Felin Bob was quite the Casanova.

-Today, they would call him

-a romantic.

-He wrote love letters.

-When he couldn't find

-that creative spark...

-..he would visit me

-and ask for my advice.

-One morning, he arrived

-with one immortal line.

-It was the most immortal line

-about love that you could ever hear.

-"I love you more in an hour

-than a cow shits in a fortnight."

-Yes... exactly.

-That's a lot of love.

-A wheelbarrow full of love.

-When he finished the comedy

-and the silly stories...

-..he would end on a serious note.

-This displayed

-the intelligent genius...

-..that was hidden

-within the comedian.

-These are the words of JJ Williams.

-"I heard the church bells ring

-"And saw the congregation gathering

-"The old priest dressed in white

-at Llanfihangel Genau'r Glyn

-"I saw many of the dead,

-some old companions in their midst

-"Sleeping quietly beneath the trees

-at Llanfihangel Genau'r Glyn

-"The wind can come

-and so too the rain

-"I no longer fear what is to come

-"My spirit can decide when to go

-to Llanfihangel Genau'r Glyn."

-Thank you very much

-for being so patient.

-And thank you, Eirwyn,

-for being such an inspiration.

-You were completely unique

-and the memories flood back...

-..as I stand in Pisgah cemetery

-in Talgarreg.

-The words of Donald Evans

-on your headstone are very apt.

-"The heir of a wonderful virtue,

-A storyteller for the common man."

-Thank you, Eirwyn.

-Let's end with a song

-and you'll like this one!

-# Oh, the devil's in the beer keg,

-so they say

-# The devil's in the beer keg,

-so they say

-# The devil's in the beer keg,

-the devil's in the beer keg

-# The devil's in the beer keg,

-so they say

-# There's a pub in heaven,

-so they say

-# Hallelujah!

-# There's a pub in heaven,

-so they say

-# There's a pub in heaven,

-a pub in heaven

-# There's a pub in heaven,

-so they say

-# It's heaven in that pub,

-so they say

-# It's heaven in that pub,

-so they say

-# It's heaven in that pub,

-heaven in that pub

-# It's heaven in that pub,

-so they say

-# St David is the barman,

-so they say

-# St David is the barman,

-so they say

-# St David is the barman,

-St David is the barman

-# St David is the barman,

-so they say

-# Thank heavens for that,

-so they say

-# Thank heavens for that,

-so they say

-# Thank heavens for that,

-thank heavens for that

-# Thank heavens for that,

-so they say

-# The devil's in the beer keg,

-so they say

-# The devil's in the beer keg,

-so they say

-# The devil's in the beer keg,

-in the beer keg

-# The devil's in the beer keg,

-so they say

-# The devil's in the beer keg,

-so they say

-# The devil's in the beer keg,

-so they say

-# The devil's in the beer keg,

-the devil's in the beer keg

-# The devil's in the beer keg

-# So they say #

-APPLAUSE

-Oh, I enjoyed that!

-As I fell asleep...

-..it felt as if Pontsian

-came to me in a dream and said...

-"The drinker was out on the town

-And looked at the sky with a frown

-As he gazed at the rain,

-He thought, "What a shame

-"That it's water,

-not beer, coming down!"

-Goodnight!

-All together!

-# Lleucu Llwyd, you are beautiful

-# Lleucu Llwyd,

-you're worth the world to me

-# Lleucu Llwyd, you're an angel

-# Lleucu Llwyd,

-I love you, you, you #

-S4C subtitles by Tinopolis