24/05/2012 TOTP2


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24/05/2012

Mark Radcliffe continues his roam through the annals of pop glory in the TOTP archive, sharing gems from Frankie Goes to Hollywood, Stevie Wonder, Spitting Image and Gary Numan.


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Greetings pop-pickers, Mark Radcliffe here

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with more musical lumps of nutty slag

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hewn from the coal face of pop.

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Frankie, with Two Tribes first.

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Couple of dodgy 'taches in evidence

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and you can't help thinking that the inspiration

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for Harry Enfield's Scousers lies somewhere here.

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# When you hear the air attack warning

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# You and your family must take cover

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# Ow, ow, ow

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# Ow, ow

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# Let's go, oh

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# When two tribes go to war

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# A point is all that you can score

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# Score no more, score no more

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# When two tribes go to war

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# A point is all that you can score

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# Working for the black gas

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# Cowboy number one

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# A born again poor man's son

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# Poor man's son

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# On the air America

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# I modelled shirts by Van Heusen

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# Working for the black gas

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# Yea-eah

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# When two tribes go to war

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# A point is all that you can score

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# Score no more, score no more

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# When two tribes go to war

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# A point is all that you can score

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# Working for the black gas

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# Switch off your shield

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# Switch off and feel

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# I'm working on loving

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# Yeah

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# I'm giving you back the good times

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# Ah, ship it out, out

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# I'm working for the black gas

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# Tell the world that you're winning

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# Love and life, love and life

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# Listen to the voice saying, "Follow me"

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# Listen to the voice saying, "Follow me"

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# Oh-oh-oh

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# When two tribes go to war

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# A point is all that you can score

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# When two tribes go to war

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# A point is all that you can score

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# We've got two tribes

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# We got the funk, we got the funk, yeah

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# Yeah, ye-eah

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# Sock it to me biscuits now

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# Are we living in a land

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# Where sex and horror are the new gods?

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# Yeah, yeah, yeah

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# When two tribes go to war. #

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Frankie Goes To Hollywood, the best of chums.

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And if male bonding on the dancefloor is your thing,

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then here come three strapping lads who were no strangers

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to the blow dry in unforgivable blouson jackets.

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They were called Big Fun.

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They weren't.

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# The minute I met you

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# I couldn't forget you

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# I knew I was falling in love

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# Ever since then to

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# See you again was

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# All I've been thinking of

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# I have found emotions

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# Stronger than anything

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# I can't shake the feeling, feeling

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# How long will it last

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# I just don't know

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# It has to be love that I'm feeling

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# And I just can't shake the feeling

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# No, no, no

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# I wanted to know you

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# But how could I show you

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# Life has new meaning for me

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# The second I saw you

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# I knew I adored you

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# That's what true love should be

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# I have found devotion

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# And you are my everything

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# I can't shake the feeling, feeling

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# How long will it last?

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# I just don't know

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# It has to be love that I'm feeling

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# And I just can't shake the feeling

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# No, no, no

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# I have found emotions

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# Stronger than anything

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# I can't shake the feeling, feeling

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# How long will it last?

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# I just don't know

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# It has to be love that I'm feeling

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# And I just can't shake the feeling

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# No, no, no

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# I can't shake the feeling, feeling

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# How long will it last?

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# I just don't know

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# It has to be love that I'm feeling

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# And I just can't shake the feeling

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# I can't shake the feeling, feeling

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# How long will it last?

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# I just don't know

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# It has to be love that I'm feeling. #

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Yes...the boots.

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Three for the price of two at Freeman, Hardy and Willis.

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And if three-piece boy bands with highlighted hair

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butter your muffin, then are you in luck tonight!

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# I've called you so many times today

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# And I guess it's all true what your girlfriends say

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# That you don't ever want to see me again

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# And your brother's going to kill me and he's six feet ten

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# I guess you'd call it cowardice

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# But I'm not prepared to go on like this

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# I can't, I can't

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# I can't stand losing

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# I can't, I can't

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# I can't stand losing

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# I can't, I can't, I can't

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# I can't stand losing you

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# I can't stand losing you

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# I can't stand losing you

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# I can't stand losing you

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# I see you've sent my letters back

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# And my LP records and they're all scratched

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# I can't see the point in another day

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# When nobody listens to a word I say

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# You can call it lack of confidence

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# But to carry on living

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# Doesn't make no sense

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# I can't, I can't

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# I can't stand losing

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# I can't, I can't

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# I can't stand losing

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# I can't, I can't

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# I can't stand losing

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# I can't, I can't

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# I can't stand losing

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# I can't, I can't

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# I can't stand losing

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# I can't, I can't

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# I can't stand losing

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# Ow

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# I guess this is our last goodbye

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# And you don't care so I won't cry

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# And you'll be sorry when I'm dead

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# And all this guilt will be on your head

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# I guess you'd call it suicide. #

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Too cool to mime properly, The Police.

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Charles and Eddie now,

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and you're wondering which is which, aren't you?

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Well, I'll give you an aide-memoire.

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Charles looks more like Ray Charles.

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Just like in Ant and Dec, Ant is the one who looks more like an ant.

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# Look into my eyes

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# Can't you see they're open wide

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# Would I lie to you, baby?

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# Would I lie to you?

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# Oh, yeah

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# Don't you know it's true

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# That, girl, there's only you

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# Would I lie to you, baby, yeah?

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# Everybody wants to know the truth

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# In my arms is the only proof

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# I've hidden my heart behind the bedroom door

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# Now it's open, I can't do no more

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# I'm telling you, baby

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# You will never find another girl

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# In this heart of mine

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# Oh, oh, no

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# Look into my eyes

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# Can't you see they're open wide

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# Would I lie to you, baby?

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# Would I lie to you?

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# Oh, yeah

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# Don't you know it's true

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# Girl, there's only you now

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# Would I lie to you, baby, yeah?

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# Everybody's got their history

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# On every page, a little mystery

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# You can read my diary, you're in every line

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# Jealous mind, never satisfied

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# I'm telling you, baby

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# You will never find another girl

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# In this heart of mine

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# Look into my eyes

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# Can't you see they're open wide

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# Would I lie to you, baby?

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# Would I lie to you?

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# Oh, yeah

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# Don't you know it's true

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# That girl, there's only you

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# Would I lie to you, baby, yeah?

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# Would I lie to you? #

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-Come on, let me hear you scream!

-Come on!

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# When you want to see me night and day

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# Would I lie?

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# If I tell you that I'm here to stay

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# Would I lie to you?

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# Do you think I give my love away?

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# Would I lie?

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# That's not the kind of game I play, no

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# I'm telling you, baby

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# You will never find another girl

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# In this heart of mine

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# In this heart of mine

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# Deep in my heart, yeah

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# Look into my eyes

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# Can't you see they're open wide

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# Would I lie to you, baby?

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# Would I lie to you?

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-# Oh, yeah

-# Don't you know it's true

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# Girl there's only you now

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# Would I lie to you, baby, yeah?

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# Would I lie to you? #

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Great song. Charles and Eddie. Would they lie to you?

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Well, let's just say their real names were Barry and Cyril.

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Who's this heavily-creased rubbery looking bunch?

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Is it the Rolling Stones?

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# It's the time of year

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# Now that Spring is in the air

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# When those two wet gits

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# With their girly curly hair

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# Make another song for moronic holidays

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# That nauseate-ate-ates

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# In a million different ways

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# From the shores of Spain

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# To the coast of Southern France

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# No matter where you hide

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# You just can't escape this dance

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# Hold a chicken in the air

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# Stick a deckchair up your nose

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# Buy a jumbo jet

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# And then bury all your clothes

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# Paint your left knee green

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# Then extract your wisdom teeth

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# Form a string quartet

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# And pretend your name is Keith

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# Skin yourself alive

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# Learn to speak Arapahoe

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# Climb inside a dog

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# And behead an Eskimo

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# Eat a Renault 4 with salami in your ears

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# Casserole your gran

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# Disembowel yourself with spears

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# The disco is vibrating

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# The sound is loud and grating

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# It's truly nauseating

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# Let's do the dance again

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# Hold a chicken in the air

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# Stick a deckchair up your nose

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# Yes, you'll hear this song in the holiday discos

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# And there's no escape in the clubs or in the bars

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# You would hear this song if you holidayed in Mars

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# Skin yourself alive

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# Learn to speak Arapahoe

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# Climb inside a dog

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# And behead an Eskimo

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# Now you've heard it once

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# Your brain will spring a leak

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# And though you hate this song

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# You'll be humming it for weeks

0:14:050:14:10

# Hold a chicken in the air

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# Stick a deckchair up your nose

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# Buy a jumbo jet. #

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Now, Stevie Wonder's playing

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at the Queen's Jubilee concert on the 4th of June,

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so here's a bit of a medley, part of it a duet with his daughter.

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Family businesses, eh? Rife with nepotism.

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# If I'm caught at a dance party without my dancing shoes

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# And everybody dances on my bare feet

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# Shame on me

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# If I'm minding my business just doing the right thing

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# And you try to front me off in the street

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# Shame on you

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# If a family's waiting for that special blessing to come their way

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# But they ain't trying to get on their knees and pray

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# Shame on them

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# Eee-hee

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# And if we live in a time

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# Where every nation's fighting round the world

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# Yet we can't all agree that peace is the way

0:15:040:15:06

# Shame on us

0:15:060:15:09

# Ooh-ooh

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-# Shame on me

-# Shame, shame

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-# Shame on you

-# Shame, shame

0:15:150:15:17

-# Shame on them

-# Shame, shame

0:15:170:15:20

-# Shame on us

-# Shame, shame, shame, shame

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# Shame on me, Shame on you

0:15:230:15:26

# Shame on them, Shame on us

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# So what the fuss?

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# Everybody say, so what the fuss?

0:15:320:15:35

# What the fuss?

0:15:370:15:39

# What the fuss?

0:15:400:15:41

# What the fuss? Ow! #

0:15:420:15:44

CHEERING

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Here's my daughter, Aisha.

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Sing it with me.

0:15:540:15:57

# People ask me why always on the bright side

0:15:580:16:00

# When there's so much going on down the other side

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# It's like I live in a bubble with no trouble

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# And problems don't exist

0:16:050:16:07

# I chuckle and tell them that ain't the case at all

0:16:070:16:10

# It goes way back to the time when I was very small

0:16:100:16:13

# Not in mind but size and age, my papa use to say

0:16:130:16:17

# You can always look at the negative

0:16:170:16:20

# But you should always live in the positive

0:16:200:16:22

# So I try everyday to live that way

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# That's why I say, yeah

0:16:250:16:27

# Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. #

0:16:270:16:34

Sing, Aisha!

0:16:340:16:35

# When I see the morning

0:16:350:16:41

# And the sun is smiling down upon me

0:16:410:16:45

# I joy in the blessing

0:16:450:16:50

# That still the ground is not above me

0:16:500:16:55

# And all the people

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# That I can truly say do love me, do feel

0:17:000:17:05

# Positivity, yeah

0:17:050:17:09

# Positivity

0:17:090:17:12

# Positivity

0:17:140:17:17

# Yeah, yeah, yeah

0:17:170:17:19

# Positivity. #

0:17:190:17:20

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

0:17:200:17:23

Yeah!

0:17:260:17:27

Yeah!

0:17:280:17:30

# Isn't she lovely?

0:17:330:17:35

# Isn't she wonderful?

0:17:370:17:40

# Isn't she precious?

0:17:400:17:45

# Less than one minute old

0:17:450:17:48

# I never thought through love we'd be

0:17:480:17:53

# Making one as lovely as she

0:17:530:17:56

# But isn't she lovely?

0:17:560:17:59

# Made from love. #

0:17:590:18:01

Aw, sweet!

0:18:010:18:03

And that bit was impromptu.

0:18:030:18:05

Every night.

0:18:050:18:06

The mighty Slade, now.

0:18:060:18:08

What, no hat?

0:18:080:18:09

# I won't laugh at you when you boo-hoo-hoo

0:18:090:18:13

# Coz I luv you

0:18:130:18:17

# I can turn my back on the things you lack

0:18:170:18:21

# Coz I luv you

0:18:210:18:25

# I just like the things you do, ooh

0:18:250:18:33

# Don't you change the things you do, ooh

0:18:330:18:40

# You get me in a spot and smile the smile you got

0:18:400:18:44

# And I luv you

0:18:440:18:48

# You make me out a clown and you put me down

0:18:480:18:52

# How I luv you

0:18:520:18:56

# I just like the things you do, ooh

0:18:560:19:04

# Don't you change the things you do, ooh

0:19:040:19:10

# Brrr-wow!

0:19:100:19:12

# When you bite your lip, you're going to flip your flip

0:19:400:19:44

# And I luv you

0:19:440:19:48

# Though we're miles apart, you still reach my heart

0:19:480:19:51

# How I luv you

0:19:510:19:55

# I just like the things you do, ooh

0:19:550:20:03

# Don't you change the things you do, ooh

0:20:030:20:10

# Only time can tell if we get on well

0:20:100:20:14

# Coz I luv you

0:20:140:20:17

# All that's passed us by, we only sigh-high-high

0:20:170:20:21

# And I luv you

0:20:210:20:25

# I just like the things you do,

0:20:250:20:30

# Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh

0:20:300:20:33

# Don't you change the things you do, no, no, no

0:20:330:20:40

# La-la-la, la-la-la, la-la

0:20:400:20:48

# La-la-la, la-la-la, la-la

0:20:480:20:55

# La-la-la, la-la-la, la-la

0:20:550:21:00

# Brr-brr-brr-brr-brr

0:21:000:21:02

# La-la-la, la-la-la, la-la. #

0:21:020:21:08

Oh, you can never have too much Slade, can you?

0:21:080:21:11

OK, what's going on here, then? It's Kelly Marie.

0:21:150:21:18

# My head is in a spin

0:21:180:21:20

# My feet don't touch the ground

0:21:200:21:22

# Because you're near to me

0:21:220:21:24

# My head goes round and round

0:21:240:21:26

# My knees are shaking, baby

0:21:260:21:29

# My heart, it beats like a drum

0:21:290:21:31

# It feels like

0:21:340:21:36

# It feels like I'm in love

0:21:360:21:39

# Ain't been this way before

0:21:420:21:44

# But I know I'm turned on

0:21:440:21:46

# This time it's something, baby

0:21:460:21:48

# I can't turn off

0:21:480:21:50

# My knees are shaking, baby

0:21:500:21:52

# My heart, it beats like a drum

0:21:520:21:55

# It feels like

0:21:580:22:00

# It feels like I'm in love

0:22:000:22:03

# My knees shake

0:22:060:22:08

# My heart beats like a drum

0:22:080:22:11

# Oh-whoa-oh

0:22:200:22:23

# Oh-oh

0:22:310:22:35

# It feels like

0:22:390:22:40

# It feels like I'm in love

0:22:400:22:43

# My knees shake

0:22:460:22:48

# My heart beats like a drum

0:22:480:22:51

# Ooh, baby

0:22:570:22:58

# Ooh, baby

0:23:010:23:02

# Ooh, baby

0:23:050:23:07

# Whoa-oh

0:23:090:23:17

# My head is in a spin My feet don't touch the ground

0:23:170:23:21

# Because you're near to me, my head goes round and round

0:23:210:23:25

# My knees are shaking, baby

0:23:250:23:27

# My heart, it beats like a drum

0:23:270:23:29

# It feels like

0:23:320:23:34

# It feels like I'm in love. #

0:23:340:23:37

OK, next up it's KWS. Nah, me neither.

0:23:370:23:39

And I'm no choreographer, but there's a definite whiff of DIY

0:23:390:23:42

about the girl's dance routine here.

0:23:420:23:44

# Please don't go, please don't go

0:23:440:23:48

# Please don't go, please don't go

0:23:480:23:51

# Please don't go, please don't go

0:23:510:23:55

# Please don't go, please don't go

0:23:550:23:59

# Please don't go, please don't go

0:23:590:24:02

# Please don't go, please don't go

0:24:020:24:05

# Please don't go, please don't go, please don't go

0:24:050:24:10

# Babe, I love you so

0:24:100:24:15

# And I want you to know

0:24:150:24:17

# That I'm going to miss your love

0:24:180:24:22

# The minute you walk out that door

0:24:220:24:26

# Please don't go

0:24:260:24:27

# Don't go

0:24:270:24:31

# Don't go away

0:24:310:24:33

# Please don't go

0:24:330:24:36

# Don't go

0:24:360:24:39

# I'm begging you to stay

0:24:390:24:42

# If you leave

0:24:420:24:44

# At least in my lifetime

0:24:440:24:46

# I've had one dream come true

0:24:460:24:50

# I was blessed

0:24:500:24:52

# To be loved

0:24:520:24:54

# By someone as wonderful as you

0:24:540:24:57

# Please don't go

0:24:570:25:00

# Don't go

0:25:000:25:03

# Don't go away

0:25:030:25:05

# Please don't go

0:25:050:25:08

# Don't go

0:25:080:25:11

# I'm begging you to stay, hey, hey

0:25:110:25:14

# Please don't go, please don't go

0:25:140:25:19

# Please don't go, please don't go

0:25:190:25:23

# Please don't go, please don't go

0:25:230:25:27

# Please don't go, please don't go

0:25:270:25:30

# Babe, I love you so

0:25:300:25:34

# And I want you to know

0:25:340:25:36

# That I'm going to miss your love

0:25:380:25:42

# The minute you walk out that door

0:25:420:25:45

# Please don't go

0:25:450:25:46

# Don't go

0:25:480:25:51

# Don't go away

0:25:510:25:53

# Please don't go

0:25:530:25:56

# Don't go

0:25:560:25:59

# I'm begging you to stay

0:25:590:26:01

# Hey, hey, hey

0:26:010:26:03

# Woo! Please don't go

0:26:040:26:07

# Please don't go

0:26:070:26:09

# I'm begging you to stay

0:26:090:26:11

# Please don't go

0:26:110:26:13

# Please don't go

0:26:130:26:15

# Please don't go

0:26:150:26:17

# Please don't go

0:26:170:26:19

# Please don't go

0:26:190:26:21

# Please don't go

0:26:210:26:23

# Please don't go. #

0:26:230:26:25

Oh, all right then, I won't! Just stop begging, will you?

0:26:250:26:28

Have some dignity, man!

0:26:280:26:29

Ah, right, an anthem of the three-day week now.

0:26:290:26:32

Roger De Courcey on the bass drum. Nookie Bear on strike, ironically.

0:26:320:26:36

# Now I'm a union man

0:26:360:26:40

# Amazed at what I am

0:26:400:26:42

# I say what I think

0:26:420:26:44

# That the company stinks

0:26:440:26:46

# Yes, I'm a union man.

0:26:460:26:49

# When we meet in the local hall

0:26:490:26:51

# I'll be voting with them all

0:26:510:26:55

# With a hell of a shout

0:26:550:26:56

# It's out brothers out

0:26:560:26:58

# And the rise of the company's fall

0:26:580:27:01

# Oh, you don't get me, I'm part of the union

0:27:010:27:04

# You don't get me, I'm part of the union

0:27:040:27:07

# You don't get me, I'm part of the union

0:27:070:27:10

# Till the day I die

0:27:100:27:14

# Till the day I die

0:27:140:27:17

# As a union man, I'm wise

0:27:210:27:24

# To the lies of the company spies

0:27:240:27:27

# And I don't get fooled

0:27:270:27:29

# By the company rules

0:27:290:27:30

# Cos I always read between the lines

0:27:300:27:34

# And I always get my way

0:27:340:27:37

# If I strike for higher pay

0:27:370:27:40

# When I show my card

0:27:400:27:42

# To the Scotland Yard

0:27:420:27:43

# And this is what I'll say

0:27:430:27:46

# Oh

0:27:460:27:48

# You don't get me, I'm part of the union

0:27:480:27:51

# You don't get me, I'm part of the union

0:27:510:27:55

# You don't get me, I'm part of the union

0:27:550:27:57

# Till the day I die

0:27:570:28:01

# Till the day I die

0:28:010:28:04

# Before the union did appear

0:28:210:28:25

# My life was half as clear

0:28:250:28:28

# Now I've got the power

0:28:280:28:30

# To the working hour

0:28:300:28:31

# And every other day of the year

0:28:310:28:34

# So though I'm a working man

0:28:340:28:37

# I can ruin the government's plan

0:28:370:28:41

# I'm not too hard

0:28:410:28:42

# But the sight of my card

0:28:420:28:44

# Makes me some kind of superman

0:28:440:28:46

# Oh

0:28:460:28:51

# You don't get me, I'm part of the union

0:28:510:28:54

# You don't get me, I'm part of the union

0:28:540:28:57

# You don't get me, I'm part of the union

0:28:570:29:00

# Till the day I die

0:29:000:29:03

# Till the day I die

0:29:030:29:07

# You don't get me, I'm part of the union

0:29:070:29:09

# You don't get me, I'm part of the union. #

0:29:090:29:12

Yes, glam folk. Always destined to be a niche market, wasn't it?

0:29:120:29:16

The blessed sex thimble, Kylie, now.

0:29:160:29:18

And wardrobe disaster - they ordered four leather jackets

0:29:180:29:21

for the lads, and only two got delivered.

0:29:210:29:23

Ah, well, just do it in your vests, lads. No-one'll notice.

0:29:230:29:27

# Everybody's doing a brand new dance now

0:29:270:29:31

# Come on baby, do the Loco-motion

0:29:310:29:34

# I know you'll get to like it if you give it a chance now

0:29:340:29:38

# Come on baby, do the Loco-motion

0:29:380:29:41

# My little baby sister can do it with ease

0:29:410:29:45

# It's easier than learning your A-B-C

0:29:450:29:49

# So come on, come on, do the Loco-motion with me

0:29:490:29:54

# You gotta swing your hips, now

0:29:540:29:58

# Come on, baby

0:29:580:30:00

# Jump up

0:30:000:30:01

# Ooh, jump back

0:30:010:30:03

# Well, I think you've got the knack, oh-oh

0:30:030:30:07

# Now that you can do it, let's make a chain now

0:30:070:30:11

# Come on baby, do the Loco-motion

0:30:110:30:15

# A chug-a chug-a motion like a railroad train now

0:30:150:30:19

# Come on baby, do the Loco-motion

0:30:190:30:22

# Do it nice and easy, now, don't lose control

0:30:220:30:26

# A little bit of rhythm and a lot of soul

0:30:260:30:30

# So come on, come on

0:30:300:30:32

# Do the Loco-motion with me

0:30:320:30:36

# The Loco-motion

0:30:360:30:37

# Come on, come on

0:30:370:30:40

# The Loco-motion

0:30:400:30:41

# Come on, come on

0:30:410:30:43

# The Loco-motion

0:30:430:30:45

# Come on, come on

0:30:450:30:46

# Come on, come on, come on

0:30:460:30:49

# Move around the floor in a Loco-motion

0:30:490:30:52

# Come on baby, do the Loco-motion

0:30:520:30:56

# Yeah, do it holding hands if you get the notion

0:30:560:31:00

# Come on baby, do the Loco-motion

0:31:000:31:04

# There's never been a dance that's so easy to do

0:31:040:31:07

# It even makes you happy when you're feeling blue

0:31:070:31:10

# So come on, come on, do the Loco-motion with me

0:31:100:31:15

# Come on, do the Loco-motion

0:31:150:31:19

# Come on, do the Loco-motion

0:31:190:31:23

# Come on, do the Loco-motion

0:31:230:31:26

# Come on, do the Loco-motion

0:31:260:31:30

# Everybody's doing a brand-new dance now

0:31:300:31:33

# Come on baby, do the Loco-motion

0:31:330:31:37

# I know you'll get to like it if you give it a chance now

0:31:370:31:41

# Come on baby, do the Loco-motion

0:31:410:31:44

# My little baby sister can do it with ease

0:31:440:31:48

# It's easier than learning your A-B-C

0:31:480:31:51

# So come on, come on, do the Loco-motion

0:31:510:31:55

# Come on, come on, do the Loco-motion

0:31:550:31:59

# Come on, come on, do the Loco-motion with me. #

0:31:590:32:05

The effervescent and elfish Kylie

0:32:050:32:07

doing a lot of smiling and skipping around.

0:32:070:32:10

And by way of contrast - poor Gary.

0:32:100:32:12

Booked for Top Of The Pops and got a tummy bug.

0:32:120:32:14

White as a sheet. Shame.

0:32:140:32:17

# It's cold outside

0:32:170:32:19

# And the paint's peeling off of my walls

0:32:220:32:25

# There's a man outside

0:32:270:32:29

# In a long coat, grey hat, smoking a cigarette

0:32:320:32:36

# Now the light fades out

0:32:580:33:00

# And I wonder what I'm doing in a room like this

0:33:030:33:06

# There's a knock on the door

0:33:080:33:10

# And just for a second I thought I remembered you

0:33:130:33:17

# So now I'm alone

0:33:380:33:40

# Now I can think for myself

0:33:400:33:42

# About little deals and issues

0:33:440:33:46

# And things that I just don't understand

0:33:460:33:49

# Like a white lie that night

0:33:490:33:51

# Or a sly touch at times

0:33:510:33:52

# I don't think it meant anything to you

0:33:560:33:58

# So I open the door

0:34:270:34:29

# It's the friend that I'd left in the hallway

0:34:320:34:35

# Please sit down

0:34:380:34:39

# A candlelit shadow on a wall near the bed

0:34:430:34:46

# You know I hate to ask

0:35:080:35:10

# But are friends electric?

0:35:130:35:15

# Only, mine's broke down

0:35:170:35:20

# And now I've no-one to love. #

0:35:250:35:28

Are friends electric? And Gary's has broken down. Pity.

0:35:380:35:41

If you'd kept the receipt,

0:35:410:35:43

you could have taken it back to Currys.

0:35:430:35:44

Something from Regina Spektor now.

0:35:440:35:46

She's from New York and we predict a breakthrough with this record.

0:35:460:35:49

But what do we know? We're the people who brought you Big Fun.

0:35:490:35:53

# All the rowboats in the paintings

0:35:590:36:02

# They keep trying to row away

0:36:020:36:05

# And the captains' worried faces

0:36:050:36:07

# Stay contorted and staring at the waves

0:36:070:36:11

# They'll keep hanging in their gold frames

0:36:110:36:14

# For forever, forever and a day

0:36:140:36:17

# All the rowboats, in the oil paintings

0:36:170:36:20

# They keep trying to row away, row away

0:36:200:36:23

# Hear them whispering, French and German

0:36:290:36:31

# Dutch, Italian and Latin

0:36:310:36:34

# When no one's looking, I touch a sculpture

0:36:340:36:37

# Marble, cold, and soft as satin

0:36:370:36:40

# But the most special are the most lonely

0:36:400:36:43

# God, I pity the violins

0:36:430:36:46

# In glass coffins, they keep coughing

0:36:460:36:48

# They've forgotten, forgotten how to sing, how to sing

0:36:480:36:52

# La-la-la-la

0:36:540:36:55

# La-la-la-la-la-la

0:36:550:36:58

# First there's lights out, then there's lock up

0:37:240:37:26

# Masterpieces serving maximum sentences

0:37:260:37:29

# It's their own fault for being timeless

0:37:290:37:32

# There's a price to pay, and a consequence

0:37:320:37:34

# All the galleries and museums

0:37:340:37:38

# Here's your ticket, welcome to the tombs

0:37:380:37:41

# They're just public mausoleums

0:37:410:37:43

# The living dead fill every room

0:37:430:37:46

# But the most special are the most lonely

0:37:460:37:49

# God, I pity the violins

0:37:490:37:52

# In glass coffins, they keep coughing

0:37:520:37:55

# They've forgotten, forgotten how to sing

0:37:550:37:58

# They will stay there, in their gold frames

0:37:580:38:01

# For forever, forever and a day

0:38:010:38:04

# All the rowboats in the oil paintings

0:38:040:38:06

# They keep trying to row away, row away

0:38:060:38:10

# First there's lights out, then there's lock up

0:38:300:38:33

# Masterpieces serving maximum sentences

0:38:330:38:36

# It's their own fault for being timeless

0:38:360:38:38

# There's a price to pay, and a consequence

0:38:380:38:41

# All the galleries and museums

0:38:410:38:44

# They will stay there forever and a day

0:38:440:38:47

# All the rowboats in the oil paintings

0:38:470:38:50

# They keep trying to row away, row away

0:38:500:38:53

# All the rowboats in the oil paintings

0:38:530:38:56

# They keep trying to row away, row away. #

0:38:560:38:59

Mmm, a lifejacket wouldn't have gone amiss, would it?

0:39:070:39:10

Ah, yes, now, inspired by the family Von Trapp, Boney M prove once again

0:39:100:39:15

that it is indeed possible to run up stylish outfits from old curtains.

0:39:150:39:19

# Yeah, we wept

0:39:190:39:23

# When we remembered Zion

0:39:240:39:29

# By the rivers of Babylon,

0:39:290:39:33

# There we sat down

0:39:330:39:36

# Yeah, we wept

0:39:370:39:39

# When we remembered Zion

0:39:410:39:44

# There the wicked

0:39:450:39:47

# Carried us away in captivity

0:39:470:39:51

# Required from us a song

0:39:510:39:53

# Now how shall we sing the Lord's song

0:39:530:39:58

# In a strange land

0:39:580:40:04

# There the wicked

0:40:040:40:05

# Carried us away in captivity

0:40:050:40:09

# Requiring of us a song

0:40:090:40:13

# Now how shall we sing the Lord's song in a strange land

0:40:130:40:22

# Mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm

0:40:220:40:26

# Mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm

0:40:260:40:30

# Mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm

0:40:300:40:35

# Mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm

0:40:350:40:37

# Yeah yeah yeah yeah

0:40:370:40:40

# Let the words of our mouths and the meditations of our heart

0:40:400:40:48

# Be acceptable in thy sight here tonight

0:40:480:40:56

# Let the words of our mouths and the meditation of our hearts

0:40:560:41:05

# Be acceptable in thy sight here tonight

0:41:050:41:12

# By the rivers of Babylon

0:41:120:41:16

# There we sat down

0:41:160:41:20

# Yeah, we wept

0:41:200:41:25

# When we remembered Zion

0:41:250:41:29

# By the rivers of Babylon

0:41:290:41:33

# There we sat down

0:41:330:41:37

# Yeah, we wept

0:41:370:41:41

# When we remembered Zion

0:41:410:41:46

# Ah-ah-ah-ah

0:41:460:41:50

# Ah-ah-ah-ah

0:41:500:41:53

# Ah-ah-ah-ah

0:41:530:41:58

# Ah-ah-ah-ah

0:41:580:42:02

-# By the rivers of Babylon

-# Dark tears of Babylon

0:42:020:42:07

-# There we sat down

-# You got to sing a song

0:42:070:42:11

-# Yeah, we wept

-# Sing a song of love

0:42:110:42:15

-# When we remember Zion

-# Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

0:42:150:42:19

-# By the rivers of Babylon

-# Rough bits of Babylon

0:42:190:42:24

# There we sat down. #

0:42:240:42:26

And then it was straight off to the toga party.

0:42:260:42:29

Beats International now, and that's Fatboy Slim on bass.

0:42:290:42:32

And have you noticed,

0:42:320:42:33

they've got the name of the song on their trousers too.

0:42:330:42:36

Just like they did with the follow up hit, Wranglers.

0:42:360:42:40

# Friends tell me I am crazy

0:42:400:42:45

# That I'm wasting time with you

0:42:470:42:50

# You'll never be mine

0:42:530:42:56

# That's not the way I see it

0:43:000:43:05

# Cos I feel you're already mine

0:43:070:43:10

# Whenever you're with me

0:43:130:43:16

# Ooh-ooh-ooh

0:43:160:43:19

# People always talk about reputation

0:43:190:43:26

# I don't care about your other girls

0:43:290:43:32

# Just be good to me

0:43:320:43:36

# Ooh-ooh-ooh

0:43:360:43:40

# Friends are always telling me

0:43:400:43:43

# You're a user

0:43:440:43:46

# I don't care what you do to them

0:43:490:43:53

# Just be good to me

0:43:530:43:56

# Ooh-ooh-ooh

0:43:560:43:59

# Just be good to me

0:43:590:44:00

# Tank fly boss walk jam nitty-gritty

0:44:000:44:02

# You're listening to the boy from the big bad city

0:44:020:44:05

# This is jam hot

0:44:050:44:07

# This is jam hot

0:44:070:44:09

# Love is a game of chances

0:44:200:44:25

# So I'll take my chance with you

0:44:270:44:30

# And you I won't try to change

0:44:330:44:36

# We talk about it and I'd

0:44:400:44:45

# Rather have a piece of you

0:44:470:44:50

# Than have nothing. #

0:44:530:44:56

Beats International. That 'jam hot' geezer

0:44:590:45:02

was conspicuously underemployed wasn't he?

0:45:020:45:05

Waste of a wage, if you ask me.

0:45:050:45:06

I assume, like The Strawbs, he was part of the union.

0:45:060:45:09

Oh, look, it's Sinead.

0:45:100:45:12

A touch of class and no mistake.

0:45:120:45:15

# I go out every night and sleep all day

0:45:150:45:20

# Since you took your love away

0:45:220:45:26

# Since you've been gone I can do whatever I want

0:45:310:45:37

# I can see whomever I choose

0:45:390:45:42

# I can eat my dinner in a fancy restaurant

0:45:460:45:53

# But nothing

0:45:530:45:55

# I said nothing can take away these blues

0:45:550:46:01

# Cos nothing compares

0:46:010:46:06

# Nothing compares to you

0:46:060:46:14

# It's been so lonely without you here

0:46:190:46:25

# Like a bird without a song

0:46:260:46:30

# Nothing can stop these lonely tears from falling

0:46:350:46:41

# Tell me, baby, where did I go wrong?

0:46:410:46:47

# I could put my arms around every boy I see

0:46:500:46:57

# But they'd only remind me of you

0:46:590:47:02

# I went to the doctor and guess what he told me?

0:47:060:47:11

# Guess what he told me?

0:47:110:47:14

# He said, "Girl you better try to have fun

0:47:140:47:16

# "No matter what you do"

0:47:160:47:19

# But he's a fool

0:47:190:47:22

# Cos nothing compares

0:47:220:47:25

# Nothing compares to you. #

0:47:260:47:34

Written by Prince, sung by Sinead. Beautifully done.

0:47:370:47:41

Ooh, my favourite group named after

0:47:410:47:44

a William Makepeace Thackeray novel now.

0:47:440:47:46

And if you're wondering about the matching tabards,

0:47:460:47:48

they'd just come straight from their day jobs at Greggs the bakers.

0:47:480:47:52

# A thumb goes up, a car goes by

0:47:540:47:57

# It's nearly 1am and here am I

0:47:570:48:01

# Hitchin' a ride, hitchin' a ride

0:48:010:48:07

# Gotta get me home by the morning light

0:48:080:48:14

# I got no fare to ride a train

0:48:150:48:19

# I'm nearly drowning in the pouring rain

0:48:190:48:22

# Hitchin' a ride, hitchin' a ride

0:48:220:48:28

# Gotta get me home to my baby's side

0:48:290:48:35

# Ride, ride, ride, hitchin' a ride

0:48:380:48:42

# Ride, ride, ride, hitchin' a ride

0:48:450:48:49

# Long distance call I got today

0:48:510:48:54

# She sounded lonely so I'm on my way

0:48:540:48:58

# Hitchin' a ride, hitchin' a ride

0:48:580:49:03

# Gotta get me home, keep her satisfied

0:49:050:49:09

# All right

0:49:110:49:13

# Ride, ride, ride, hitchin' a ride

0:49:340:49:38

# Ride, ride, ride, hitchin' a ride

0:49:410:49:45

# A thumb goes up, a car goes by

0:49:470:49:51

# Oh, won't somebody stop and help a guy?

0:49:510:49:54

# Hitchin' a ride, hitchin' a ride

0:49:540:50:01

# Been away too long from my baby's side

0:50:010:50:06

# Ride, ride, ride, hitchin' a ride

0:50:090:50:13

# Ride, ride, ride, hitchin' a ride

0:50:160:50:20

# Ride, ride

0:50:250:50:27

# Ride, ride

0:50:290:50:30

# Ride, ride

0:50:320:50:34

APPLAUSE

0:50:340:50:36

Ooh, look, it's beautiful Egyptian queen, Nefertiti.

0:50:360:50:41

You what? It's a bloke?

0:50:410:50:43

Called Terry? Are you sure?

0:50:430:50:46

# Honey, don't leave me now

0:50:460:50:48

# With my head on my shoulders wrong

0:50:480:50:51

# Have I done something wrong for you to leave?

0:50:510:50:55

# I know I've been careless, girl

0:50:550:50:58

# And I must apologize

0:50:580:51:00

# I'll try better next time, baby

0:51:000:51:02

# If you let me stay

0:51:020:51:05

# If you let me stay

0:51:050:51:08

# I'll say what I should've said

0:51:080:51:10

# If you let me stay

0:51:100:51:12

# I should have said that I love you

0:51:120:51:15

# If you let me stay

0:51:150:51:17

# And I should have said it from my heart

0:51:170:51:19

# If you let me stay

0:51:190:51:23

# How can I compensate

0:51:250:51:27

# For my indiscretions, dear

0:51:270:51:29

# Tell me it's not too late

0:51:290:51:31

# That I'd love to hear

0:51:310:51:34

# Cos if you walk out on me

0:51:340:51:36

# You will see a grown man cry

0:51:360:51:39

# I didn't miss my water

0:51:390:51:41

# Till my well ran dry

0:51:410:51:43

# But if you let me stay

0:51:430:51:46

# I'll say what I should've said

0:51:460:51:48

# If you let me stay

0:51:480:51:51

# I should have said that I love you

0:51:510:51:53

# If you let me stay

0:51:530:51:56

# And I should have said it from my heart

0:51:560:51:58

# If you let me stay

0:51:580:52:03

# Your pretensions aim for gullible fools

0:52:040:52:08

# And now who needs you anyway?

0:52:080:52:11

# I'll get mine elsewhere

0:52:130:52:15

# I taught the school

0:52:150:52:18

# You will regret it someday

0:52:180:52:21

# Ooh, if you let me stay

0:52:210:52:25

# I'll say what I should've said

0:52:250:52:27

# If you let me stay

0:52:270:52:30

# I should have said that I love you

0:52:300:52:32

# If you let me stay

0:52:320:52:34

# And I should have said it from my heart

0:52:340:52:36

# If you let me, cos I need ya

0:52:360:52:39

# I'm not a man without you, baby, hoo

0:52:390:52:42

# Hey-yeah, yeah, yeah

0:52:500:52:54

# Hey, ooh

0:52:590:53:01

# If you let me stay

0:53:010:53:03

# I'll say what I should have said

0:53:030:53:05

# If you let me stay

0:53:050:53:08

# I should have said that I love you

0:53:080:53:11

# If you let me stay

0:53:110:53:13

# And I should have said it from my heart. #

0:53:130:53:15

Ooh, Terence! Did he fall over then?

0:53:150:53:17

Embarrassing, or what? It was good, though.

0:53:170:53:20

And more dynamic sex gods now, with Squeeze.

0:53:200:53:23

Four male models in the same band. What were the chances of that, eh?

0:53:230:53:28

# The Indians send signals from the rocks above the pass

0:53:280:53:31

# The cowboys take positions in the bushes and the grass

0:53:310:53:34

# The squaw is with the corporal, she is tied against the tree

0:53:340:53:37

# She doesn't mind the language, it's the beating she don't need

0:53:370:53:41

# She lets loose all the horses when the corporal is asleep

0:53:410:53:44

# And he wakes to find the fire's dead

0:53:440:53:47

# And arrows in his hats

0:53:470:53:48

# And Davy Crockett walks around and says it's cool for cats

0:53:480:53:50

-# It's cool for cats

-Cool for cats

0:53:500:53:54

# The Sweeney's doing 90 cos they've got the word to go

0:53:540:53:57

# To get a gang of villains in a shed up at Heathrow

0:53:570:54:01

# They're counting out the fivers when the handcuffs lock again

0:54:010:54:04

# They're in and out of Wandsworth with the numbers on their names

0:54:040:54:08

# It's funny how their missus' always looks the blimmin' same

0:54:080:54:11

# And meanwhile at the station, there's a couple of likely lads

0:54:110:54:14

# Who swear like how's your father and they're very cool for cats

0:54:140:54:17

-# They're cool for cats

-Cool for cats

0:54:170:54:21

# To change the mood a little I've been posing down the pub

0:54:210:54:24

# On seeing my reflection, I'm looking slightly rough

0:54:240:54:28

# I fancy this, I fancy that, I want to be so flash

0:54:280:54:31

# I give a little muscle and I spend a little cash

0:54:310:54:35

# But all I get is bitter and a nasty little rash

0:54:350:54:38

# And by the time I'm sober I've forgotten what I've had

0:54:380:54:41

# And everybody tells me it's cool to be a cat

0:54:410:54:44

# It's cool for cats

0:54:440:54:45

# Cool for cats. #

0:54:450:54:50

Squeeze.

0:54:550:54:57

And no, that wasn't hapless comedy dipstick, Sid Little, on keyboards,

0:54:570:55:00

but our own Jools Holland.

0:55:000:55:01

OK, one more before we go, and we've saved 'the best' till last.

0:55:010:55:05

Do you see what I did there? See you next time.

0:55:050:55:08

# I call you when I need you, my heart's on fire

0:55:080:55:12

# You come to me, come to me wild and wired

0:55:170:55:22

# Mmm, you come to me

0:55:250:55:27

# Give me everything I need

0:55:290:55:32

# You're simply the best

0:55:340:55:36

# Better than all the rest

0:55:390:55:42

# Better than anyone

0:55:430:55:46

# Anyone I've ever met

0:55:480:55:51

# I'm stuck on your heart

0:55:520:55:55

# I hang on every word you say

0:55:570:56:00

# Tear us apart

0:56:020:56:05

# Baby, I would rather be dead

0:56:070:56:10

# In your heart I see the star of every night and every day

0:56:120:56:17

# In your eyes I get lost, I get washed away

0:56:210:56:26

# Just as long as I'm here in your arms

0:56:300:56:34

# I could be in no better place

0:56:340:56:37

# You're simply the best

0:56:390:56:41

# Better than all the rest

0:56:440:56:46

# Better than anyone

0:56:480:56:51

# Anyone I've ever met

0:56:530:56:56

# Ooh, I'm stuck on your heart

0:56:570:57:00

# I hang on every word you say

0:57:020:57:05

# Oh, tear us apart, no, no, no

0:57:070:57:10

# Baby, I would rather be dead

0:57:110:57:15

# Each time you leave me I start losing control

0:57:180:57:21

# You're walking away with my heart and my soul

0:57:210:57:26

# I can feel you even when I'm alone

0:57:260:57:31

# Oh, baby, don't let go

0:57:310:57:36

# Ooh you're the best, woo!

0:57:520:57:55

# Better than all the rest

0:57:580:58:00

# Better than anyone. #

0:58:040:58:06

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

0:58:060:58:09

Mark Radcliffe continues his roam through the annals of pop glory in the TOTP archive, sharing gems from Frankie Goes to Hollywood, Stevie Wonder, Spitting Image, Kylie Minogue, Gary Numan, Squeeze and Tina Turner.