Christmas 2010 TOTP2

Season's greetings, pop pickers,

and welcome to the Christmas Top Of The Pops 2,

with me, your reassuringly festive host, Mark Radcliffe.

A musical selection box, as ever. Let's kick off with an old favourite.

What, no hat?!

# Are you hanging up a stocking

# On your wall?

# It's the time that every Santa has a ball

# Does he ride a red-nosed reindeer?

# Does a ton-up on his sleigh?

# Do the fairies keep him sober

# For a day?

# So here it is, merry Christmas

# Everybody's having fun

# Look to the future now

# It's only just begun

# Are you waiting for the family

# To arrive?

# Are you sure you got the room

# To spare inside?

# Does your granny always tell ya

# That the old songs are the best?

# Then she's up and rock 'n' rollin'

# With the rest

# So here it is, merry Christmas

# Everybody's having fun

# Look to the future now

# It's only just begun

# What will your daddy do

# When he sees your mama

# Kissin' Santa Claus?

# Ah-ha, ah

# Are you hanging up a stocking

# On your wall?

# Are you hoping that the snow

# Will start to fall?

# Do you ride on down the hillside

# In a buggy you have made?

# When you land upon your head

# Then you've been sleighed

# So here it is, merry Christmas

# Everybody's having fun

# Look to the future now

# It's only just begun

# So here it is, merry Christmas

# Everybody's having fun

# Look to the future now

# It's only just begun

# So here it is, merry Christmas

# Everybody's having fun... #

It's Christmas!

# Look to the future now... #

Well, it saved waiting till the end, didn't it?

Slade, sporting their early '80s smart-casual look.

No, really. That IS what Dave Hill thinks of as smart-casual.

Ooh, look - real candles in a TV studio.

Can't have that with Health and Safety now.

It's all iPhone candle apps these days.

# It was Christmas Eve, babe

# In the drunk tank

# An old man said to me

# "Won't see another one"

# And then he sang a song

# The Rare Old Mountain Dew

# I turned my face away

# And dreamed about you

# Got on a lucky one

# Came in 18 to 1

# I've got a feeling

# This year's for me and you

# So happy Christmas

# I love you, baby

# I can see a better time

# When all our dreams come true

# They got cars big as bars

# They got rivers of gold

# But the wind goes right through you

# It's no place for the old

# When you first took my hand

# On a cold Christmas Eve

# You promised me Broadway was waiting for me

# You were handsome

# You were pretty Queen of New York City

-BOTH:

-# When the band finished playing

# They howled out for more

# Sinatra was swinging

# All the drunks they were singing

# We kissed on a corner Then danced through the night

# The boys of the NYPD choir

# Were singing Galway Bay

# And the bells were ringing out

# For Christmas Day

# You're a bum, you're a punk

# You're an old slut on junk

# Lying there almost dead

# On a drip in that bed

# You scumbag, you maggot

# You cheap, lousy faggot

# Happy Christmas, you ass

# I pray God it's our last

-BOTH:

-# The boys of the NYPD choir

# Still singing Galway Bay

# And the bells are ringing out

# For Christmas Day

# I could have been someone

# Well, so could anyone

# You took my dreams from me

# When I first found you

# I kept them with me, babe

# I put them with my own

# Can't make it all alone

# I've built my dreams around you

-BOTH:

-# The boys of the NYPD choir

# Still singing Galway Bay

# And the bells are ringing out

# For Christmas Day. #

-AS LEN GOODMAN:

-Seven!

Not a bad waltz, that, was it? She held him upright, at least.

OK, stubblesome man band Take That next.

Whatever happened to them, eh?

Merry Christmas, everyone!

# Today this could be

# The greatest day of our lives

# Before it all ends

# Before we run out of time

# Stay close to me

# Stay close to me

# Watch the world come alive tonight

# Stay close to me... #

Come on!

# Tonight this could be

# The greatest night of our lives

# Let's make a new start

# The future is ours to find

# Can you see it?

# Can you see it in my eyes?

# Can you feel it now?

# Can you hold it in your arms?

# Tonight

# Hold on, hold on

# Hold on, hold on

# Tonight

# Hold on, hold on... #

Come on, Top Of The Pops.

CHEERING

# Oh, stay close to me

# Hold on

# Stay close to me

# Watch the world come alive tonight

# Stay close to me

# Ooh, hold your head high

# Hold on

# Arms open wide

# Yeah, the world starts to come alive

# When you stay close to me

# Today this could be

# The greatest day of our lives... #

Come on, sing!

AUDIENCE SING ALONG: # Today this could be

# The greatest day of our lives... #

Hands in the air!

# Oh, and the world comes alive

# And the world comes alive

# And the world comes alive

# Oh, oh, oh-oh-oh

# Stay close to me

# And the world comes alive

Hold on

# Stay close to me

# And the world comes alive

Watch the world come alive tonight

# Stay close to me

# Hold on

# Oh

# Stay close to me

# And the world comes alive

# Stay close to me

And the world comes alive

# Watch the world come alive tonight

# Stay close to me

# Whoa-oh-oh. #

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Strangely, it was a chilly winter scene

and that's the only time I've seen Gary not wearing a cardigan.

No knitwear in evidence here, either.

It's the glam Captain Mainwaring, Elton John,

in an outfit hastily run up out of turkey foil.

# Welcome to my Christmas song

# I'd like to thank you for the year

# So I'm sending you this Christmas card

# To say it's nice to have you here

# I'd like to sing about all the things

# Your eyes and mind can see

# So hop aboard the turntable

# Oh, step into Christmas with me, yeah

# Step into Christmas Let's join together

# We can watch the snow fall forever and ever

# Eat, drink and be merry Come along with me

# Step into Christmas The admission's free

# Take care in all you do next year

# And keep smiling through the days

# If we can help to entertain you

# Oh, we will find the ways

# So merry Christmas, one and all

# There's no place I'd rather be

# Than asking you if you'd oblige

# Stepping into Christmas with me

# Step into Christmas Let's join together

# We can watch the snow fall forever and ever

# Eat, drink and be merry Come along with me

# Step into Christmas The admission's free

# Who-o-o-oa!

# La-la-la-la-la

# Welcome to my Christmas song

# I'd like to thank you for the year

# So I'm sending you this Christmas card

# To say it's nice to have you here

# I'd like to sing about all the things

# Your eyes and mind can see

# So hop aboard the turntable

# Oh, step into Christmas with me, yeah

# Step into Christmas Let's join together

# We can watch the snow fall forever and ever

# Eat, drink and be merry Come along with me

# Step into Christmas The admission's free

# Step into Christmas Let's join together

# We can watch the snow fall forever and ever

# Eat, drink and be merry Come along with me

# Step into Christmas The admission's free

# Whoa-oh, oh-oh-oh... #

Elton John, before he got someone else's hair for Christmas.

Right, here's Peter Kay, making a very convincing woman,

though assisted by some very unconvincing snowmen.

# Once upon a Christmas song

# Everybody sang along

# You'd see the joy on every face

# And the world it seemed a happier place

# These songs brought us together

# Together

# Good time memories for ever

# For ever

# Now I know what they mean

# And what they've given to me

# I'd have never believed

# That we'd be singing them over and over and over again

# Every December they get in our heads

# Turn 'em up, play 'em loud

# Every Christmas should be the same

# Singing 'em over and over

# And over and over again

# They say they're good for the soul

# Good for the soul

# But someone tell me, I don't know

# Why no-one seems to write them no more

# Write them no more

So the only way to settle the score

# Is to all make way for a new one

A new one

# That keeps the heart of the old one

The old one

# With a little bit of festive cheer

# And you'll know when Christmas is near

# When this record appears

# Once a year You'll be singing this

# Over and over and over again

# Every December you'll hear it and say

# Turn it up, play it loud

# Every Christmas should be the same

# Singing it over and over

# And over and over again

# It's getting in your head

It's getting in your head

# It's getting in your head

Getting in your head

# And if you're not singing it all night

# You'd be telling a lie... #

# La la la, la la la

# La la la, la la la

# La la la, la la la

# La la la, la la la

# La la la, la la la

# La la la, la la la, la la la

# La, la la la, la la la

# La la la, la la la

# You'll be singing this over and over and over again

# Every December you'll hear it and say

# Turn it up, play it loud

# Every Christmas should be the same

# Singing it over and over

# For ever and ever again... #

MUSIC STOPS ABRUPTLY

CHEERING, MUSIC RESTARTS

# Over and over and over again

# Over and over and over again

# Over and over and over again

# Over and over and over again

# Turn it up, play it loud

# Every Christmas should be the same

# Singing it over and over

# For ever and ever again. #

Peter Kay as Geraldine - sort of Bette Midler meets a dinner lady.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

OK, let's go off-piste.

And who's been carving Tom Jones's name in ice?

Or possibly polystyrene...

# Sleigh bells ring

# Are you listening?

# In the lane

# Snow is glistening

# A beautiful sight

# We're happy tonight

# Walking in a winter wonderland

# Gone away

# Is the bluebird

# Here to stay

# Is the new bird

# He sings a love song

# As we go along

# Walking in a winter wonderland

# In the meadow, we can build a snowman

# And pretend that he is Parson Brown

# He'll say, "Are you married?"

# We'll say, "No, man

# "But you can do the job when you're in town"

# Later on, we'll conspire

# As we dream

# By the fire

# To face unafraid

# The plans that we made

# Walking in a winter wonderland

# But you can do the job when you're in town

# Later on, we'll conspire

# As we dream

# By the fire

# To face unafraid

# The plans that we made

# Walking in a winter wonderland

# I'm walking in a winter wonderland

# Walking

# In a winter wonderland. #

Tom Jones, taking half-hearted evasive action from the snowballs

whilst wearing his wife's new coat.

Yet more sartorial elegance now, with the ever-stylish Boney M.

# ..was born on Christmas Day

# And man will live for evermore

# Because of Christmas Day

# Long time ago in Bethlehem

# So the Holy Bible says

# Mary's boy child Jesus Christ

# Was born on Christmas Day

# Hark now hear the angels sing

# A king was born today

# And man will live for evermore

# Because of Christmas Day

# Mary's boy child Jesus Christ

# Was born on Christmas Day

# While shepherds watched

# Their flock by night

# They see a bright new shining star

# They hear a choir sing a song

# The music seemed to come from afar

# Hark now hear the angels sing

# A king was born today

# And man will live for evermore

# Because of Christmas Day. #

THEY HUM

Another gruelling day at the coal face of popular culture

for Bobby and the radiant angels of Boney M.

Ah, panto time now!

First off, here's Paul Young as Buttons,

quickly followed by Boy George as Widow Twankey.

# It's Christmas time

# There's no need to be afraid

# At Christmas time

# We let in light and we banish shade

# And in our world of plenty

# We can spread a smile of joy

# Throw your arms around the world

# At Christmas time

# But say a prayer

# To pray for the other ones

# At Christmas time

# It's hard

# But when you're having fun

# There's a world outside your window

# And it's a world of dread and fear

# Where the only water flowing is

# The bitter sting of tears

# And the Christmas bells that ring there

# Are the clanging chimes of doom

# Well tonight, thank God it's them

# Instead of you

# And there won't be snow in Africa

# This Christmas time

# The greatest gift they'll get

# This year is life

# Oooh

# Where nothing ever grows

# No rain or rivers flow

# Do they know

# It's Christmas time at all?

# Oh-oh

# Here's to you

# Raise a glass for everyone

# Here's to them

# Underneath that burning sun

# Do they know

# It's Christmas time at all?

# Feed the world

# Feed the world

# Let them know... #

Hmm, there were a few absentees there, weren't there?

Probably a problem cramming that many egos into one small TV studio.

Ah, right - down the pub with Paul and Linda, now.

Free-range eggnogs all round - on the house!

# The mood is right

# The spirit's up

# We're here tonight

# And that's enough

# Simply having

# A wonderful Christmas time

# Simply having

# A wonderful Christmas time

# The party's on

# The feeling's here

# That only comes

# This time of year

# Simply having

# A wonderful Christmas time

# Simply having

# A wonderful Christmas time

# The choir of children

# Sing their song

# Ding-dong ding-dong

# Ding-dong ding

# Oo-oo-oo-ooh

# Oo-oo-oo-oo-ooh

# Do-do do-do do-do-do

# We're simply having

# A wonderful Christmas time

# Simply having

# A wonderful Christmas time

# The word is out

# About the town

# To lift a glass

# Ah, don't look down

# Simply having

# A wonderful Christmas time

# The choir of children

# Sing their song

# They practised all year long

# Ding-dong ding-dong

# Ding-dong ding-dong

# Ding-dong ding-dong

# Ding-dong ding-dong

# The party's on

# The spirit's up

# We're here tonight

# And that's enough

# Simply having

# A wonderful Christmas time

# We're simply having

# A wonderful Christmas time

# The mood is right

# The spirit's up

# We're here tonight

# And that's enough

# Simply having

# A wonderful Christmas time

# Simply having

# A wonderful Christmas time

# Simply having

# A wonderful Christmas time

# Oh-oh oh-oh... #

Paul, Linda and Wings in good spirits -

although sadly, the police arrived shortly afterwards to break up the party,

as Paul had forgotten to apply for a late licence. D'oh!

Nice duet between Sarah Cracknell and Tim Burgess now.

And with all those musicians miming,

you'd think someone could've done the decent thing

and mimed the all-important melodica bit.

# Spent the summer holed up in a room

# Looking pretty Won't you be here soon?

# EuroDisney, could not work at all

-BOTH:

-# A little bird had told me in the fall

# Getting groovy after Hallowe'en

# Mid-November got back on the scene

# I'm so glad that I just got my pay

# I was born on Christmas Day

# In December My heart's full of spring

# I could phone you, tell you everything

# Like the crazy evenings on the yacht

# Tim and Sarah went and tied the knot

-BOTH:

-# Did you know they pulled the town hall down?

# I don't think you'll recognise this town

# Never could have been a tennis wife

# Get into the acting life

# Getting groovy after Hallowe'en

# Mid-November, got back on the scene

# I'm so glad that I just got my pay

# I was born on Christmas Day

# I was born on Christmas Day

# I was born on Christmas Day. #

This is Mark Radcliffe

with the Christmas Top Of The Pops 2 for 2010.

Mariah Carey is next, and if you half-close your eyes, she's got

Harry Enfield's Scousers dancing behind her.

# Oh, Santa

Santa's gonna come and make him mine this Christmas

# Oh, Santa

Santa's gonna come and make him mine, mine

# Santa

# If you get this letter won't you help me out?

# I know you're kinda busy with your elves right now

# And I don't know how

# You do the things you do while I sleep on Christmas Eve

# But it's amazing

# And I bet that you could bring me back my baby

# Because every time I see Christmas lights

# I feel this burn inside and I just can't take it

# I saw them shopping last week

# And his new girl was so bleak

# And then I swore to myself

# Santa's gonna come and make him mine this Christmas night

# Ho-ho-ho

# Santa's gonna come and make him mine this Christmas

# Santa's gonna come and make him mine, ho-ho-ho

# Santa's gonna come and make him mine this Christmas night

Oh, Santa

# I heard that it's really gonna snow this year

# So I hope Rudolph and them other eight reindeer

# Get you safely here

# So you can scoop him up and scoop him right down my chimney

# I've been really, really, really good this year

# So put on that red suit and make him appear

# Cos Christmas cheer

# Just ain't the same without my baby

# Come on, oh, Kris Kringle send me help

# They say it's unrealistic

# But I believe in you, Saint Nick

# So grant this wish for me right quick

# Santa, won't you come and make him mine this Christmas night?

# Ho-ho-ho

# Santa's gonna come and make him mine this Christmas

# Santa's gonna come and make him mine, ho-ho-ho

# Santa's gonna come and make him mine this Christmas night

# Oh, Santa!

# Oh, Santa!

# Oo-oo, oo-oo, oo-ee-oo

# Come on, Santa

Santa Claus come and make him mine this Christmas

# Santa Claus, come and make him mine, mine

# Santa Claus, come and make him mine this Christmas

# Santa Claus, come and make him mine, mine, mine

# Oh, Santa Claus

# If you get this letter Please don't make me wait

# Cos all December I'll be counting down the days

# So hop on your sleigh

# I promise that I won't forget the milk and cookies

# The tree's all sparkly and gold

# But inside I feel so cold

# So soon as you leave the North Pole

# Santa, won't you come and make him mine this Christmas?

# Ooh-ooh

# Ooo-ooh

# Santa's gonna come and make him mine, ho-ho-ho

# Santa's gonna come and make him mine

# Santa's gonna come and make him mine, ho-ho-ho

# Santa's gonna come and make him mine, mine

Santa

# Santa's gonna come and make him mine, ho-ho-ho

# I know he will

# Santa's gonna come and make him mine this Christmas

# Santa's gonna come and make him mine, ho-ho-ho... #

Filmed in a remote mountain hotel with the backing singers

dressed in their en-suite shower curtains.

Meanwhile, outside, determined to show off their new ski-wear...

# I don't know what's gonna happen to you, baby

# But I do know that I love you

# Walk around this town with your head all up in my sky

# And I do know that I want you

# Let's dance, let's shout

Shout

# Shake your body down to the ground

# Let's dance, let's shout

Shout

# Shake your body down to the ground

# Let's dance, let's shout

Shout

# Shake your body down to the ground

# Let's dance, let's shout

Shout

# Shake your body down to the ground

# You tease me with your loving to play hard to get

# Cos you do know that I want you

# You walk around this town with your head all up in my sky

# And you do know that I want you

# Let's dance, let's shout

Shout

# Shake your body down to the ground

# Let's dance, let's shout

Shout

# Shake your body down to the ground

# Let's dance, let's shout

Shout

# Shake your body down to the ground

# Let's dance, let's shout

Shout

# Shake your body down to the ground

# You're the spark that lit the fire inside of me

# And you do know that I love it

# I need to do just something to get closer to your soul

# And you do know that I want you

# Let's dance, let's shout

Shout

# Shake your body down to the ground

# Let's dance, let's shout

Shout

# Shake your body down to the ground

# Let's dance, let's shout

Shout

# Shake your body down to the ground

# Let's dance, let's shout

Shout

# Shake your body down to the ground

# Let's dance, let's shout

Shout

# Shake your body down to the ground...

Look, Tito, if you'd wanted to join in with the dancing,

you should have ditched the guitar. Too little, too late, me old son.

And for our next performance, it's whichever three were in the Sugababes that week.

# Ba-bom, ba-bom, ba-bom

# Ba-bom, ba-bom, ba-bom

# Ba-bom

# Santa, baby

# Slip a sable under the tree for me

# I've been an awfully good girl

# Santa, baby

# So hurry down the chimney tonight

# Tonight

# Santa, baby

# A '54 convertible too

# Light blue

# I've waited for you, dear

# Santa, baby

# Hurry down the chimney tonight

# Think of all

# The fun that I've missed

# Think of all the fellas

# That I haven't kissed, oh-oh-oo

# Next year I could be just as good

# If you'll check off my Christmas list

# Santa, baby

# I want a yacht and really that's not a lot

# I've been an angel all year

# Santa, baby

# So hurry down the chimney tonight

# Hey-ey-ey

# Hey-ey, oo-oo

# Santa, honey

# One little thing I really need

# The deed

# To a platinum mine

# Santa, baby

# So hurry down the chimney tonight

# Hey-yeah-yeah, oo-ooh

# Santa, cutie

# Fill my stockings with a duplex and cheques

# Sign your X on the line

# Santa, cutie

# And hurry down the chimney tonight

# Oo-oo-oo-ooh

# Come and trim my Christmas tree

# With some decorations bought from Tiffany, oh yeah

# I really do believe in you

# Yeah, yeah, yeah

# Le me see if you

# Believe in me, yeah-ho-yeah

# Santa, baby

# Forgot to mention one little thing, a ring

# I don't mean on the phone

# Santa, baby

# So hurry down the chimney tonight

# Hurry down the chimney tonight

# Santa, baby

# Hurry down the chimney tonight

# Ooh-oo-oo-ooh

# Hurry down the chimney tonight

# Yeah, yeah

# Hurry down the chimney tonight

# Hey hey hey

# Hurry down the chimney tonight

# Santa, baby

# So hurry down the chimney

# Tonight. #

Going down a storm.

A fake snowstorm, in fact.

Natalie Cole next, reviving a song made famous by her dad -

ex-England and Newcastle striker, Andy Cole.

# Chestnuts roasting on an open fire

# Jack Frost nipping at your nose

# Yuletide carols being sung by a choir

# Folks dressed up like Eskimos

# Everybody knows

# A turkey and some mistletoe

# Helps to make the season bright

# Tiny tots with their eyes all aglow

# Will find it hard to sleep tonight

# They know that Santa's on his way

# He's loaded lots of toys and goodies

# On his sleigh

# And every mother's child is going to spy

# To see if reindeer really know how to fly

# And so I'm offering this simple phrase

# To kids from one to ninety-two

# Although it's been said many times, many ways

# Merry Christmas to you

# And so I'm offering this simple phrase

# To kids from one to ninety-two

# Although it's been said many times, many ways

# Merry Christmas

# Have a merry Christmas

# Merry Christmas

# To you. #

Some nice bits of old film there.

Now, this next one isn't strictly speaking a Christmas song,

but it has a suitably festive celebratory feel to it.

It's Kool And The Gang.

In case you were wondering, Kool is the bass player.

I know. Perhaps it was his van.

# Yahoo!

# It's your celebration

# Yahoo!

# This is your celebration

# Celebrate good times, come on!

# Let's celebrate, come on, now

# Celebrate good times, come on!

# Let's celebrate

# Cos there's a party goin' on right here

# A celebration to last throughout the years

# So bring your good times and your laughter too

# We gonna celebrate your party with you, come on, now

# Celebration

# Let's all celebrate and have a good time

# Celebration

# We gonna celebrate and have a good time

# It's time to come together

# It's up to you What's your pleasure?

# Everyone around the world, come on!

# Yahoo!

# It's your celebration

# Yahoo!

# It's a celebration

# Celebrate good times, come on!

# Let's celebrate Come on, girl

# Celebrate good times, come on!

# Let's celebrate Put your hands together

# Cos we're gonna have a good time tonight

# Let's celebrate

# It's all right

# We're gonna have a good time tonight

# Let's celebrate

# Cos it's all right, baby

# We're gonna have a good time tonight

# Let's celebrate

# It's all right

# We're gonna have a good time tonight

# So let's celebrate

# Cos it's all right Whoo!

# Yahoo!

# Yahoo!

# Celebrate

# Celebrate good times, come on!

# Let's celebrate

# Come on and celebrate

# Celebrate good times, come on!

# Cos everything's gonna be all right, whoo! #

CHEERING

Kool and the kind of Gang you probably wouldn't mind your kids getting wrapped up with.

Some Super 8 holiday footage from Abba now.

Like all holiday videos, nothing much happens really.

You had to be there, I think. Good song, mind.

# I've seen you twice in a short time

# Only a week since we started

# It seems to me, for every time

# I'm getting more open-hearted

# I was an impossible case

# No-one ever could reach me

# But I think I can see in your face

# There's a lot you can teach me

# So I wanna know

# What's the name of the game?

# Does it mean anything to you?

# What's the name of the game?

# Can you feel it the way I do?

# Tell me, please, cos I have to know

# I'm a bashful child, beginning to grow

# And you make me talk

# And you make me feel

# And you make me show

# What I'm trying to conceal

# If I trust in you, would you let me down?

# Would you laugh at me if I said I care for you?

# Could you feel the same way too?

# I wanna know

# The name of the game... #

A reminder of the religious side of things from Annie Lennox, who appears to have left her curlers in.

# Let nothing you dismay

# For Jesus Christ our Saviour

# Was born on Christmas Day

# To save us all from Satan's powers

# When we were gone astray

# Glad tidings of comfort and joy

# Comfort and joy

# Glad tidings of comfort and joy

# In Bethlehem in Israel

# This blessed babe was born

# And lay within a manger

# Upon this blessed morn

# The which his mother Mary did nothing take in scorn

# O tidings of comfort and joy

# Comfort and joy

# O tidings of comfort and joy

# From God our Heavenly Father

# A blessed angel came

# And unto certain shepherds

# Brought tidings of the same

# How that in Bethlehem was born

# The son of God by name

# O tidings of comfort and joy

# Comfort and joy

# O tidings of comfort and joy

# "Fear not, then," said the angel

# "Let nothing you affright

# "This day is born a saviour

# "Of a pure virgin bright

# "To free all those who trust in him

# "From Satan's power and might"

# O tidings of comfort and joy

# Comfort and joy

# O tidings of comfort and joy

# Now to the Lord sing praises

# All you within this place

# And with true love and brotherhood

# Each other now embrace

# This holy time of Christmas

# All other doth deface

# O tidings of comfort and joy

# Comfort and joy

# O tidings of comfort and joy. #

Annie Lennox, out and about spreading good cheer in Narnia.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the wardrobe, we're back in the Top Of The Pops studio.

# When I wake up, well, I know I'm gonna be

# I'm gonna be the man who wakes up next to you

# When I go out, yeah, I know I'm gonna be

# I'm gonna be the man who goes along with you

# If I get drunk, yeah, I know I'm gonna be

# I'm gonna be the man who gets drunk next to you

# And if I haver Yeah, I know I'm gonna be

# I'm gonna be the man who's havering to you

# But I would walk 500 miles And I would walk 500 more

# Just to be the man who walks a thousand miles

# To fall down at your door

# When I'm working, yes, I know I'm gonna be

# I'm gonna be the man who's working hard for you

# And when the money comes in for the work I do

# I'll pass almost every penny on to you

# When I come home yeah, I know I'm gonna be

# I'm gonna be the man who comes back home to you

# And if I grow old, yeah, I know I'm gonna be

# I'm gonna be the man who's growing old with you

# And I would walk 500 miles And I would walk 500 more

# Just to be the man who walks a thousand miles

# To fall down at your door

-# Da la la la...

-Da la la la

-Da la la la...

-Da la la la

# Da da da dun diddle un diddle un Diddle uh da da

-# Da la la la...

-Da la la la

-Da la la la...

-Da la la la

# Da da da dun diddle un diddle un Diddle uh da da

# When I'm lonely, well, I know I'm gonna be

# I'm gonna be the man who's lonely without you

# And when I'm dreaming, mmm, I know I'm gonna dream

# I'm gonna dream about the times when I'm with you

-# And when I go out...

-When I go out

-Yeah, I know I'm gonna be

# I'm gonna be the man who goes along with you

-# And when I come home

-When I come home

-Oh, I know I'm gonna be

# I'm gonna be the man who comes back home with you

# I'm gonna be the man who's coming home with you

# And I would walk 500 miles And I would walk 500 more

# Just to be the man who walked a thousand miles

# To fall down at your door

-# Da la la la...

-Da la la la

-Da la la la...

-Da la la la

# Da da da dun diddle un diddle un Diddle uh da da

-# Da la la la...

-Da la la la

-Da la la la...

-Da la la la

# Da da da dun diddle un diddle un Diddle uh da da

# And I would walk 500 miles And I would walk 500 more

# Just to be the man who walked a thousand miles

# To fall down at your door. #

It's a really good idea, that, for rowdy Christmas singalongs -

chorus refrains with no words in them.

OK, seasonal a cappella fun with the Flying Pickets next.

Relax, girls. They're spoken for.

# Ba-ra-ra-ra

# Ba-ra-ra-ra

# Ba-ra-ra-ra

# Ba-ra-ra-ra

# Looking from a window above

# It's like a story of love

# Can you hear me?

# Came back only yesterday

# Moving further away

# Want you near me

# All I needed was the love you gave

# All I needed for another day

# And all I ever knew

# Only you

# Sometimes when I think of your name

# And it's only a game

# And I need you

# Listening to the words that you say

# It's getting harder to stay

# When I see you

# All I needed was the love you gave

# All I needed for another day

# And all I ever knew

# Only you

# Ba-ra-ra, ba-ra-ra, ba-ra-ra-ra

# Ba-ra, ba-ra, ba-ra, ba-ra

# Ba-ra-ra-ra, ba-ra-ra-ra

# Ba-ra-ra-ra-ra-ra-ra-ra

# Ba-ra-ra-ra, ba-ra-ra-ra

# All I needed was the love you gave

# All I needed for another day

# And all I ever knew

# Only you

# This is going to take a long time

# And I wonder what's mine

# Can't take no more

# Wonder if you'll understand

# It's just the touch of your hand

# Behind a closed door

# All I needed was the love you gave

# All I needed for another day

# And all I ever knew

# Only you

# Ba-ra-ra-ra, ba-ra-ra-ra

# Ba-ra-ra-ra

# Ba-ra-ra-ra

# Ba-ra-ra-ra... #

A fine vocal blend from the Flying Pickets, who were sadly outlawed due to reform of the trade unions.

Back to Christmas 2004 now, and a Minogue medley.

The male dancers appear to have rummaged through the dressing-up box

and come out with random hats.

"Hey, guys, check me out, I got the knitted centurion's helmet!"

# Non-stop dancing at the bus stop To the funky music

# Hustle, pumpin' the muscle Blame it on the boogie

# Remember the old days

# Remember the O'Jays

# Walkin' in rhythm

# Life was for livin'

# When you can't find the music To get down and boogie

# All you can do is step back in time

# Ball of confusion When nothing is new, and

# There's nothing doin' Step back in time

# Whoo! Step back in time... #

Merry Christmas, everyone!

Hope you find something nice in your stockings today!

# Tell me I'm only dreaming

# And I'll believe you

# Can't see how this could be true

# Surrounded by feelings I hardly recognise

# I look for explanations I'm taken by surprise

# If you told me yesterday that I could feel this way

# I would sure enough call you a liar to your face

# Because I'm shocked by the power

# Ooh Shocked by the power of love

# Shocked to my very foundations

# Shocked by the power

# Shocked, like the lightning from up above

# Down from the heavens and it gave me love

# From a man who respects me

# Loves my mind as well as my body

# No retreat and no surrender Equal to you regardless of gender

# Giving me love that is warm and tender

# That's why I gotta tell ya

# You and I are of the same mind

# It seems to me that we're one of a kind

# It's true to say that love is blind

# But then true love is so hard to find

# You respect me and the things I do

# It was meant to be I was made for you

# Open the door to my heart, it's stopped

# And I'm shocked... #

How you feeling? CHEERING

# Better the devil you know

# Better the devil you know

# Woh-woh-woh-oh

# Say you won't leave me no more

# I'll take you back again

# No more excuses, no, no

# Cos I've heard them all before

# A hundred times... # Let me hear you!

# I'll forgive and forget

# If you say you'll never go

# Cos it's true what they say

# It's better the devil you know

# I'll be here every day

# Waiting for your love to show... #

Let me hear you! What do they say?

# It's better the devil you know... #

Whoo!

# Woh-woh-woh... #

Everyone's favourite Christmas party girl, Kylie.

Right, if it's swaying you want, here's a mass outbreak.

# Have yourself a merry little Christmas

# Let your heart be light

# From now on our troubles will be out of sight

# Have yourself a merry little Christmas

# Let the Yuletide sway

# From now on our troubles will be miles away

# Here we are as in olden days

# Happy golden days of yore

# Faithful friends who are dear to us

# Gather near to us once more

# Through the years we all will be together

# If the fates allow

# Hang a shining star upon the highest bough

# And have yourself a merry little Christmas now. #

Nice to see someone doing it live, no frills, isn't it? The elfin charms of Katie Melua.

More "what we did on our holidays" film now. This is Wham! with Last Christmas.

So called because we did show you this...last Christmas.

# Last Christmas

# I gave you my heart

# But the very next day

# You gave it away

# This year

# To save me from tears

# I'll give it to someone special

# Last Christmas

# I gave you my heart

# But the very next day

# You gave it away

# You gave it away

# This year

# To save me from tears

# I'll give it to someone special

# Special

# Once bitten and twice shy

# I keep my distance

# But you still catch my eye

# Tell me, baby

# Do you recognise me?

# Well, it's been a year

# It doesn't surprise me

# "Happy Christmas"

# I wrapped it up and sent it

# With a note saying, "I love you"

# I meant it

# Now I know what a fool I've been

# But if you kissed me now

# I know you'd fool me again

# Last Christmas

# I gave you my heart

# But the very next day

-# You gave it away

-You gave it away

# This year

# To save me from tears

# I'll give it to someone special

# Special

# Last Christmas

# I gave you my heart

# But the very next day

# You gave it away

# This year

# To save me from tears

# I'll give it to someone special

# Special

# Oh

# Oh, my baby

# A crowded room

# Friends with tired eyes

# I'm hiding from you

# And your soul of ice

# My God! I thought you were

# Someone to rely on

# Me? I guess I was

# A shoulder to cry on

# A face on a lover

# With a fire in his heart

# A man undercover

# But you tore me apart

# Ooh-ooh

# Now I've found a real love

# You'll never fool me again

# Last Christmas

# I gave you my heart

# But the very next day

-# You gave it away

-You gave it away

# This year

# To save me from tears

# I'll give it to someone special

# Special

# Last Christmas

# I gave you my heart

# But the very next day

# You gave it away

# This year

# To save me from tears

# I'll give it to someone special

# A face on a lover

# With a fire in his heart

# A man undercover

# But you tore him apart

# Maybe next year

# I'll give it to someone

# I'll give it to someone special. #

Now, this next track really did happen last Christmas.

It's reluctant elves Muse, whose intense glam post-rock

isn't remotely compromised by a bit of the old seasonal fancy dress.

Oh, and look out for the dancing girls,

doing moves that will forever be associated with '70s Top Of The Pops stalwarts Mud.

# The paranoia is in bloom, the PR

# The transmissions will resume

# They'll try to push drugs, keep us all dumbed down

# And hope that we will never see the truth around

# Another promise, another scene, another

# Package meant to keep us trapped in greed

# With all the green belts wrapped around our minds

# And endless red tape to keep the truth confined

# They will not force us

# They will stop degrading us

# They will not control us

# And we will be victorious

# Interchanging mind control

# Come let the revolution take its toll, if you could

# Flick the switch and open your third eye, you'd see that

# We should never be afraid to die

# Rise up and take the power back, it's time that

# The fat cats had a heart attack, you know that

# Their time is coming to an end

# We have to unify and watch our flag ascend

# They will not force us

# They will stop degrading us

# They will not control us

# And we will be victorious

# They will not force us

# They will stop degrading us

# They will not control us

# And we will be victorious. #

Ooh, that was just so full of festive cheer, wasn't it?

And now, by comparison, exuding more Christmas spirit but in strangely muted apparel,

it's Shakey.

# Snow is falling

# All around me

# Children playing

# Having fun

# It's the season

# Love and understanding

# Merry Christmas, everyone

# Time for parties and celebration

# People dancing all night long

# Time for presents

# And exchanging kisses

# Time for singing Christmas songs

# We're gonna have a party tonight

# I'm gonna find that girl

# Underneath the mistletoe

# We'll kiss by candlelight

# Room is swaying, records playing

# All the old songs we love to hear

# Oh, I wish that

# Every day was Christmas

# What a nice way to spend the year

# Whoo!

# We're gonna have a party tonight

# I'm gonna find that girl

# Underneath the mistletoe

# And kiss by candlelight

# Snow is fallin'

# All around me

# Children playing, having fun

# It's the season

# Love and understanding

# Merry Christmas, everyone

# Merry Christmas, everyone

# Merry Christmas, everyone

# Snow is falling

# All around me

# Children playing, having fun

# It's the season

# Love and understanding

# Merry Christmas, everyone

# Snow is falling

# All around me

# Children playing

# Having fun

# It's the season

# Love and understanding

# Merry Christmas, everyone

# Oh, snow is falling

# All around me

# Children playing, having fun

# It's the season

# Love and understanding

# Merry Christmas, everyone... #

"Snow is falling all around me." Except it wasn't, was it, Shakester?

Come on, props department, where's the old Yuletide dandruff?

Ah, seasonal subzero riverside revels now,

with a hundred lucky, plucky Coldplay fans

taken on a chilly boat ride to get up close and personal with their heroes.

A bit of heartwarming goodwill to be sure.

The song's called Christmas Lights.

# Christmas night, another fight

# Tears we cried a flood

# Got all kinds of poison in

# Of poison in my blood

# I took my feet to Oxford Street

# Trying to right a wrong

# Just walk away, those windows say

# But I can't believe she's gone

# When you're still waiting for the snow to fall

# Doesn't really feel like Christmas at all

# Up above candles on air flicker

# Oh, they flicker and they float

# But I'm up here holding on to all those chandeliers of hope

# Like some drunken Elvis singing

# I go singing out of tune

# Saying how I always loved you, darling

# And I always will

# Oh, when you're still waiting for the snow to fall

# It doesn't really feel like Christmas at all

# Still waiting for the snow to fall

# It doesn't really feel like Christmas at all

# Those Christmas lights

# Light up the street

# Down where the sea and city meet

# May all your troubles soon be gone

# Oh, Christmas lights, keep shining on

# Those Christmas lights

# Light up the street

# Maybe they'll bring her back to me

# Then all my troubles will be gone

# Oh, Christmas lights, keep shining on

# Oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh

# Oh, Christmas lights

# Light up the street

# Light up the fireworks in me

# May all your troubles soon be gone

# Those Christmas lights, keep shining on. #

And now you know it - you too can join the Coldplay Christmas sing-along-a-party

when they perform it on Top Of The Pops on Christmas Day.

OK, nearly there now, but let's take a moment of reflection by the old log fire with Bing Crosby.

# I'm dreaming of a white Christmas

# Just like the ones I used to know

# Where the treetops glisten

# And children listen

# To hear sleigh bells in the snow

# I'm dreaming of a white Christmas

# With every Christmas card I write

# May your days be merry and bright

# And may all your Christmases

# Be white

# I'm dreaming of a white Christmas

# Just like the ones I used to know... #

Where the treetops glisten...

# Where the treetops glisten... #

And children listen...

# And children listen

-# To hear

-To hear

# Sleigh bells in the snow

-# I'm dreaming of a white Christmas

-Mm-hm

# With every Christmas card I write

# May your days be merry and bright

# And may all your Christmases

# Be white. #

So, last one now, and we need a big finish.

We've already had Slade, and so the only other way to end is...

# When the snowman brings the snow

# Well, he just might like to know

# He's put a great big smile on somebody's face

# If you jump into your bed

# Quickly cover up your head

# Don't you lock the doors

# You know that sweet Santa Claus is on the way

# Well, I wish it could be Christmas

# Every day

# When the kids start singing

# And the band begins to play

# Oh, I wish it could be Christmas

# Every day

# Let the bells ring out

# For Christmas

# When we're skating in the park

# If the snow cloud makes it dark

# Then your rosy cheeks are gonna light my merry way

# Now the frosty paws appear

# And they've frozen up my beard

# So we'll lie by the fire

# Till the sleep simply melts 'em all away

# Well, I wish it could be Christmas

# Every day

# When the kids start singing

# And the band begins to play

# Oh, I wish it could be Christmas

# Every day

# So let the bells ring out

# For Christmas