Pennod 1 Y Salon


Pennod 1

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-The doors of the Salon

-are open once again.

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-Look out, we're back.

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-This is where men and women

-are transformed every week.

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-Combined with some sharp scissors

-are some very sharp tongues.

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-Goldenballs isn't there anymore.

-He's Rottenballs now!

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-Are you on Viagra, Keith?

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-Are you on Viagra, Keith?

-

-Not yet.

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-It's enough to make

-your hair change colour.

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-There are other treatments too!

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-Scandals everywhere!

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-Scandals everywhere!

-

-I feel like a psychiatrist.

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-Spaghetti's straight

-until it's hot and wet.

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-Politics. Don't discuss politics.

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-Without Europe,

-parts of Wales would be Third World.

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-I love something controversial.

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-I love something controversial.

-

-Some of your favourites are back.

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-The dog ate the turkey.

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-Her brains are in her backside.

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-Warning, warning.

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-Some new faces are ready

-to sit in front of a mirror...

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-..to share

-their secrets and feelings.

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-People think they can sit down

-and pour their hearts out.

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-They do tell us everything.

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-Welcome to a new series of Y Salon.

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-Tregaron, in quiet rural Wales.

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-Quiet is not a way

-you'd describe this salon...

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-..run by Carys

-and her mother Llinos...

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-..where the people of Tregaron

-reveal all.

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-Carys is full on.

-She's full on or nothing.

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-I like sleeping, eating...

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-..drinking whisky...

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-..sleeping, eating...

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-..drinking more whisky.

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-Since I've worked here with Carys...

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-..nothing shocks me anymore,

-nothing.

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-I don't think you'll visit

-another village like Tregaron.

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-Nice to see that the tongues of

-Tregaron are as sharp as scissors.

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-It's enough to frighten someone.

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-There were plenty of ghost stories

-amidst the shampoo of the salon.

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-Trick or treat.

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-Trick or treat, smell my feet.

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-It's a form of begging -

-and it's true. That's what it is.

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-I've brought you a coffin.

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-Fair play to you.

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-Fair play to you.

-

-It's lovely. Thank you.

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-Look! Well, it's the first coffin

-I've ever had.

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-It won't be the last!

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-Did you see any trick or treaters?

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-Did you see any trick or treaters?

-

-Some may have knocked the door...

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-..but I didn't open it.

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-I had a client in the other day.

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-She said,

-"Llinos, I didn't stop all night."

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-She answered the door 150 times.

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-I thought it would be funny

-to trick or treat at Mam's house...

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-..to see if she'd recognise us.

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-We bought some masks

-and drove to Mam's house in Bethel.

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-She didn't recognise us.

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-My boyfriend's from Blaenau

-so we drove to Blaenau...

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-..and his mother gave us sweets!

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-Dip Brussels sprouts in chocolate!

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-That's a great idea.

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-It's a trick and a treat!

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-I don't like pumpkins.

-I'm scared of them.

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-Scared?

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-I think they're going to chase you.

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-I think they're going to chase you.

-

-They don't have feet.

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-People like you are killing it.

-Your decorations were up ages ago.

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-Halloween for an entire month.

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-November 1,

-Christmas decorations are up.

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-You've become too commercialised.

-It's your fault.

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-I spoil it for everyone.

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-Do you have any ghost stories?

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-Ghost stories. Um...

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-If I'm downstairs

-and no-one's home...

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-..you can hear them running

-across my landing.

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-Only you can hear them?

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-Only you can hear them?

-

-Mam hears them too.

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-Do you know what it is?

-You know the central heating pipes?

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-They make the wood creak.

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-They make the wood creak.

-

-It's a ghost running. I saw it.

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-I saw a psychic with my mother.

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-He asked,

-"Is your Nain's name Mary?"

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-She was like, "Yeah." He then listed

-the names of everyone in the family.

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-And then he said, "Tell your

-little one not to be scared."

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-Next thing, on the way home,

-my brother phoned my mother.

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-"There's someone in the kitchen.

-Someone's moved a chair."

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-I don't know.

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-I work as a psychic medium.

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-I feel we've come from spirits,

-lived this life in the flesh...

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-..and when we die,

-we return to being spirits.

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-How did you get into that?

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-After losing my son, Aled.

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-That was 14 years ago.

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-As a mother, I wanted to know.

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-What was after that?

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-Was there an eternal life?

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-I wanted it in black and white.

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-I must say, I've had

-numerous messages from Aled.

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-They bring facts through

-that no-one else would understand.

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-That's made me feel so much better.

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-It's released me

-to carry on with my life.

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-After Halloween, were our customers

-looking forward to bonfire night?

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-Bonfires are few

-and far between now.

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-When we were kids,

-we had a Guy and we'd stuff it.

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-You'd take it around

-on a go-kart or a wheelbarrow.

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-And you'd go around

-doing penny for the Guy.

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-We used to make a fortune.

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-What makes me mad

-every single flippin' year...

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-..is people on your street

-doing their garden fireworks.

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-Fair enough...

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-..but when you have people

-who know you have a dog.

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-I don't think it's fair.

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-Inconsiderate, that's them.

-Inconsiderate.

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-With some people, if their dog's

-scared, they get tranquilisers.

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-Tranquiliser?

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-Tranquiliser?

-

-You can get a tablet. Literally.

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-My neighbour let some fireworks off

-but they weren't fireworks.

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-They were flares.

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-One hit the house

-on top of the hill.

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-Another hit the electric pylon.

-Our electric played up for a month.

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-On-off, on-off, on-off.

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-Do you know what they say?

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-If the firework doesn't go off,

-never ever return to it.

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-No.

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-We haven't been in the garden

-since 1990!

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-I often wonder if people know

-the reason we celebrate?

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-When Guy Fawkes...

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-..in 1605, if I remember correctly.

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-Guy Fawkes

-tried to blow up Westminster.

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-We should be drinking Prosecco

-to that, Joyce.

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-He's the only person who walked into

-parliament with an honest intention!

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-There were fireworks

-in Westminster...

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-..as the behaviour of some MPs

-sparked the week's main headlines.

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-Have you seen the news about the

-sexual harassment in the workplace?

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-They think they'll just get away

-with it because of who they are.

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-It's disgusting,

-people in power like that...

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-..and people who've been

-voted into public office.

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-They shouldn't get away with it,

-they shouldn't get away with it.

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-If that man touched

-that woman on her knee...

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-..it might not have meant a thing

-to him.

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-People have touched me on my knee

-and it didn't bother me.

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-I'm just wondering

-why they're coming out with it now.

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-I do think that but I also think

-it's a good thing it's coming out.

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-Someone's shown an example.

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-They've shown the guts

-to bring it out in the open.

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-People think because

-someone else did, they can.

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-Because it's people like MPs,

-it makes it more of a storyline.

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-It probably happens

-in Cardigan and everywhere.

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-I get a lot of it in work,

-working as a nurse.

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-I was taking someone's

-blood pressure, a man obviously...

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-..I was attaching the cuff

-to his arm...

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-..and he touched my backside.

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-You're in scrubs. You wouldn't

-expect someone to do that.

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-Men will be exposing it soon.

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-There might be some women who've...

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-Well, I suppose. It works both ways.

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-When my son worked behind the bar...

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-..and I saw it happen one night...

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-..he was walking past

-and girls were pinching his bottom.

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-Look at that girl -

-she's this bloke's secretary.

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-He's an MP.

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-She came out and said...

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-..that he sent her

-to buy gifts for his wife...

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-..and he asked her

-to go and buy a sex toy.

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-They had a good relationship,

-like say we worked together.

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-Where did she go - to your drawers?!

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-From sex toys to, um...

-ahem, sex toys.

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-If you have 7,000

-in loose change...

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-..you can buy your perfect partner.

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-They make sex robots.

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-Oh!

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-Have you heard about sexbots?

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-The robots... the ro... ro...

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-I can't even say it. The robots.

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-Leave it there.

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-They talk to you.

-They do everything.

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-When you wake up in the morning...

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-..they'll turn to you and say,

-"Good morning, darling."

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-How do you explain that? You take

-one home to meet your mother?

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-"Meet Doris"!

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-What happens if it has

-a malfunction and goes nuts?

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-It wouldn't leave you alone.

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-Save up all your pennies

-for Christmas.

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-They're seven grand.

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-Car finance or a robot!

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-A car!

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-I'd want it to make me supper.

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-Pay half the household bills.

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-It'd never answer you back.

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-Good point.

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-Good point.

-

-That's a plus.

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-But, in all fairness,

-I think it's a good thing.

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-How many people out there

-are plain and can't get...?

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-Plain?!

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-What preference do you have

-for an accent?

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-Which accent?

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-Scottish.

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-Oh, Scottish.

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-If you had a robot...

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-..if you had a robot...

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-..what would your robot look like?

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-My perfect man?

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-Dark hair.

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-Muscles is a must.

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-That would top my list.

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-Muscles is a must.

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-And anything between

-this big and this big!

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-We'll leave it there for now.

-We'll be back in a snip.

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-.

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-Subtitles

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-Subtitles

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-On Halloween night, the ugly face

-of terrorism re-emerged in New York.

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-A terrorist drove a rented pick-up

-truck into innocent cyclists...

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-..before shooting at nearby people.

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-Eight were killed,

-many more were injured.

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-I know someone who was in New York.

-They were two streets away from it.

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-Someone you know?

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-They had to stay in all day.

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-Have they come back?

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-Have they come back?

-

-They're back today.

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-They were there when it happened?

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-It was all over Facebook.

-It was crazy.

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-And literally two streets away?

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-What's wrong with them? Why do

-people think about things like that?

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-I know a lot of people over there,

-teachers from Bro Teifi.

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-And I know two girls

-who went to New York.

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-They all said on Facebook

-they were fine. It's such a relief.

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-You think you're just going out

-for a walk and that happens to you.

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-It frightens when you think

-about going to these places.

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-In America,

-it's a high-risk place to visit now.

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-I think it's important

-that we carry on with our lives.

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-We shouldn't let

-things like this stop us.

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-When you're out, you must remember

-that life is dangerous.

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-Yes, yes.

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-You've got to keep your wits

-about you when you're out and about.

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-There are bad people out there

-who want to do these things.

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-They're ruthless. They don't worry

-about the consequences.

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-Nowhere's safe.

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-You think about it,

-there were innocent people there.

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-Children. What have children

-ever done to them?

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-They don't care about things like

-that, they don't think about that.

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-They're willing

-to blow themselves up.

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-I told Catrin we could go away

-for a weekend.

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-It'd be nice to have a break.

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-I asked her if she wanted

-to go to London.

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-No. EuroDisney? No. I thought

-she'd want to visit these places.

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-"It's not safe, I don't want to go."

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-She doesn't want to go?

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-There was violence closer to home...

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-..as Catalonia attempted

-to secure independence from Spain.

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-Do you think something's going

-to kick off in Catatonia?

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-Catalonia!

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-Catatonia was a Welsh band.

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-Oh, yeah.

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-Do you know what? I think it's not

-right to stop people from voting.

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-The election happened

-and they voted for independence.

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-On the other hand, I respect

-the constitution and laws of Spain.

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-They say it wasn't legal.

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-The vote was illegal.

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-I think it's a precarious situation.

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-I understand what the people of

-Catalonia want, they've declared it.

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-It's not like Brexit where

-a load of lies was peddled about.

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-They need to have

-their independence.

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-If they did it in Wales,

-we'd have plenty to say.

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-They don't want to be part of Spain

-because Spain abuses them.

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-Corruption.

-Scotland did it, didn't they?

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-They didn't though.

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-They didn't though.

-

-I thought they were independent.

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-Wasn't it approved?

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-Wasn't it approved?

-

-They voted No.

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-I thought they did it twice.

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-Nicola Sturgeon,

-I was fed up of seeing her.

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-She didn't stop.

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-I'm pretty sure

-she talks in her sleep.

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-It's like everything else,

-that leap to become independent.

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-It can go two ways.

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-You can become independent and fail

-or you can make it work.

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-We're struggling.

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-Wales is struggling.

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-We have enough on our plate

-without worrying about Spain.

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-Everybody else is No.1

-and we're always the last.

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-We don't care enough

-about ourselves.

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-Well, Llinos' views

-aren't to be sniffed at.

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-We also benefit

-from foreign ideas...

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-..such as that essential in life -

-socks!

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-They've designed a pair of socks

-you can wear for six days.

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-Horrible!

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-Horrible!

-

-No, thank you.

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-Six days.

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-That sounds like most people

-I've dated in Caernarfon!

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-They don't change their socks often!

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-They'll be like cardboard

-when you take them off.

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-Like getting a boomerang

-through the washing machine door.

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-Listen to your mother. Change

-your pants and socks every day.

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-You change your pants every day?

-I don't.

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-Try and get a few days out of them.

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-Try and get a few days out of them.

-

-I was wondering what that smell was!

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-Yuck! I think you should change

-your socks and pants every day.

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-And your knickers.

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-How much will they cost, six days?

-It's cheaper to buy some.

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-It's not expensive to buy knickers

-and socks. And all that sweat!

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-You just smell them and think, "I'll

-wear those for another five days."

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-You do the sniff test.

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-Why six days? Why not a week?

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-I would say, as a farmer...

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-..since I'm married to one...

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-..you must change your socks

-when they can stand up on their own.

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-Or they've lost their tips!

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-Or they've lost their tips!

-

-Or the hole in the heel is so big...

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-..you can put your fist through it.

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-Job done.

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-I hope you change your pants

-more often than that.

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-You'd like to know!

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-You go out on Friday

-with your Wednesday socks on.

0:18:290:18:31

-You talk to a girl, she sniffs

-and goes, "No, you're alright."

0:18:320:18:37

-"Do I smell?" "Yes, actually."

0:18:370:18:39

-"Sorry, I wore these socks

-on Wednesday."

0:18:390:18:42

-When does Aled change his?

0:18:420:18:44

-Three times a day?

0:18:440:18:47

-In the morning, 3.00am,

-he comes home.

0:18:480:18:51

-He showers and wears clean pants.

-Before bed, he'll change his pants.

0:18:510:18:55

-Aled's a clean freak.

0:18:560:18:57

-I'd say he shines.

0:18:580:19:00

-I like to sit in the bath.

0:19:010:19:03

-I can't fit in my bath.

0:19:030:19:06

-No, no, I'm a big girl.

0:19:060:19:09

-My pumpkins go cold!

0:19:100:19:13

-Before they hit the water,

-the water's gone cold.

0:19:140:19:18

-Talking of body odour, according

-to some, Lynx is the answer...

0:19:210:19:27

-..but not if this cat

-is still on the loose.

0:19:270:19:31

-Did you see the cat

-that's escaped in Borth?

0:19:310:19:35

-Yes. That's terrible.

0:19:350:19:38

-It is terrible.

-It's been missing for three days.

0:19:380:19:41

-They used to live

-in the countryside...

0:19:410:19:44

-..but they haven't roamed wild

-for years.

0:19:440:19:47

-I heard today

-that it hadn't gone far.

0:19:470:19:50

-Do you know if a bull attacks you...

0:19:510:19:54

-..you lie on your stomach

-and you roll towards it.

0:19:540:19:58

-It can't get down to you.

0:19:590:20:01

-Right, we're not talking

-about a bull here. A cat.

0:20:010:20:05

-It's the same size as a bull.

0:20:050:20:07

-No, no, no, no. It's just

-a little bigger than a cat.

0:20:070:20:11

-Why is it so dangerous?

0:20:110:20:12

-Why is it so dangerous?

-

-It's a wild animal.

0:20:120:20:14

-It's like a tiger,

-lion or a leopard.

0:20:140:20:18

-You wouldn't stroke one of those

-if you saw it.

0:20:180:20:21

-What would your pussy say if

-another cat was at your front door?

0:20:210:20:25

-Gwenno would be...

0:20:260:20:28

-Gwenno wouldn't be happy about it!

0:20:280:20:30

-They say the lynx climbed the tree

-and jumped over an electric fence.

0:20:330:20:41

-As I understand,

-the animals had been fighting...

0:20:410:20:45

-..and that's why they didn't know

-this one had escaped.

0:20:460:20:49

-They thought it was just hiding.

0:20:500:20:52

-Oh, right.

0:20:520:20:53

-I saw them showing the lynx walking

-back and forth, back and forth.

0:20:540:20:58

-What a pity. I don't like

-seeing animals in captivity.

0:20:590:21:05

-If that can escape,

-what else can escape?

0:21:050:21:09

-They have lions up there.

0:21:090:21:12

-One of my friends had a snake.

0:21:120:21:16

-The snake was acting weird,

-if that makes sense.

0:21:160:21:21

-It hadn't eaten for days.

0:21:210:21:24

-It would stretch itself out

-every now and then.

0:21:240:21:27

-My friend who owned the snake

-decided to check with someone...

0:21:270:21:32

-..to make sure it was OK.

0:21:320:21:34

-He told the vet that the snake

-hadn't eaten for days...

0:21:340:21:38

-..and it was stretching itself out.

0:21:390:21:41

-He told him to get rid of the snake.

0:21:410:21:45

-It was starving itself to eat him!

0:21:450:21:48

-I've heard that before.

0:21:480:21:52

-It's all happening.

0:21:520:21:54

-There's that and the octopuses.

0:21:540:21:57

-I saw those.

0:21:570:21:59

-Between the octopuses

-and the lynx...

0:21:590:22:03

-It's not safe.

-We should stay at home.

0:22:030:22:05

-He might be after the octopuses.

0:22:060:22:08

-Did you see them moving on the sand?

0:22:080:22:11

-It was strange, it really was.

0:22:110:22:14

-This was in New Quay.

-They were moving around.

0:22:150:22:19

-Then they died.

0:22:190:22:20

-Testicles everywhere.

0:22:210:22:23

-What?

0:22:230:22:24

-Ooh!

0:22:250:22:26

-Testicles?

0:22:260:22:28

-Tentacles I meant!

0:22:290:22:31

-It shows what's on your mind.

0:22:310:22:35

-People might hear strange things

-during Halloween week...

0:22:370:22:42

-..and it's good to see Y Salon's

-customers in high spirits.

0:22:430:22:48

-Until next week, sleep soundly.

0:22:480:22:51

-# Boo-boogie-boo-boogie-boo

0:22:530:22:55

-# Boogie-boo-boogie-boo

0:22:560:22:58

-# Boogie-boo-boogie-boo-boogie

-boo-boogie-boo-boogie-boo

0:23:010:23:05

-# Boo-boogie-boo-boogie-boo

-but remember, they're the dead

0:23:080:23:14

-# Boogie-boo-boogie-boo

0:23:170:23:18

-# Boogie-boo-boogie-boo

0:23:190:23:21

-# Boo-boogie-boo-boogie-boo

0:23:210:23:25

-# Boogie-boo-boogie-boo

0:23:260:23:28

-# Boo-boogie-boo-boogie-boo

0:23:300:23:33

-# Boogie-boo-boogie-boo

0:23:340:23:35

-# Boo-boogie-boo-boogie-boo

0:23:380:23:40

-# Boogie-boo-boogie-boo #

0:23:400:23:43

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0:23:430:23:44

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