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He was particularly nasty to those
he felt were below him.
him sort of explode at people. He
was known for having a dreadful
So he harasses you, he gets a quiet
word and you have to change jobs?
Aggressive, dismissive, rude. And
It ground her down.
reached crisis point and she could
no longer do her job.
and intimidation behind the walls
of the Palace of Westminster.
Three MPs named in our exclusive
report - Newsnight has testimonies
from the women at the centre.
Tonight, we take you inside
the House of Commons
in a tale of bullying,
harassment and intimidation.
Newsnight has spoken
to dozens of female workers
within the palace of Westminster,
who are known as the clerks.
There is a pattern
to their testimonies.
They told us of aggressive and
threatening behaviour, of the lack
of proper redress, of careers
terminated or misdirected.
And then they told us that the very
system put in place to address this
kind of bullying, had in itself
failed to deal with it.
We heard of woman with post
traumatic stress disorder.
She left her job.
Another quit and left the country.
Even the Speaker of the House
himself, John Bercow,
The women's stories are unflinching,
and there is some swearing
in this exclusive report
by Chris Cook and Lucinda Day.
Before we get to it,
Chris joins me.
One of the things that is really
struck us as we have spoken to these
dozens of women is the remarkable
sort of unity of the story. Usually
when you do a thing like this, you
will find some people who disagree
and some who agree. We found a
strong consensus there is a serious
problem in the House of Commons. The
culture in part is the reason why
processes don't seem to operate
properly. There is really no
confidence among women who work for
the house of commons that any of the
proposals being discussed at the
moment about reforming the way the
house works to protect them, will
really work. What I hope we will
show in our film is the reason why
they don't have any that confidence.
The House of Commons is not just
a seat of political intrigue or
It is also a workplace.
But it is a workplace
with a particular problem with
bullying and with sexual harassment.
We've heard a number
of allegations against MPs.
And not just backbench MPs
at the bottom of the pile.
These accusations run
all the way to the top.
To John Bercow, the Speaker
of the House of Commons.
And the people making these
allegations are public
servants who have dedicated their
lives to making our parliament work.
This group is always there,
even in the biggest
But you probably never
really look at them.
He was the future once!
You might have spotted
some of them, perhaps
the people down here
who until recently routinely
wore wigs to sittings.
Nothing is really impossible
if you put your mind to it.
After all, as I once said,
I was the future once!
Now politicians come and go
but this little army of
they are always there.
In the chamber...
Please contribute to this question.
This is a big piece of information.
These people work for something
known as the House of
And they have a range of job titles.
Clerks, inquiry managers,
committee specialists, but
together, we are going to refer to
them by the term by which they are
known to the rest of Westminster.
These are the people who run
committee inquiries and to quietly
umpire the business of the House.
Newsnight has heard shocking
testimony that women in these roles
face a particular problem.
Newsnight has spoken
to dozens of current and
former clerks who allege
to us that they face
a real issue with sexual
harassment and bullying by MPs.
Almost all have reasons
to request anonymity.
Usually because they still work
in Westminster or Whitehall.
He sort of manoeuvred me out
into the corridor and, um, put
his arms around me, and um kissed me
on the lips, and I couldn't do
anything about it.
I could not force him off.
My arms were against my chest
and he was holding me so
tightly that I couldn't
push him away.
I made a chocolate cake for one
of my colleagues's birthday
and I was just putting
the finishing touches
before without our end
of the day little celebration.
And I was kneeling,
putting the rest of
the icing on the cake,
and the MP in question coming
he came in and laughed and came
and stood right
over me, I remember it being very
overbearingly close, and him saying,
"Right where you belong,
on your knees with a face
full of chocolate."
The MP exploded on me so
aggressively that my colleague stood
between us to physically
shield him from me.
These cases run from the 1990s
to more recent years.
And in that time the
House has changed its
HR policies several times
but there's one we constantly
keep hearing about.
Women do not feel that if they
complain to the House authority
and their concerns will
be taken seriously.
In part because the culture
of the House emphasises the
idea that clerks need to be tough.
From the day you start working
in the House of Commons,
there can be situations
where you are required to
deliver difficult messages.
In those circumstances,
it's seen as very
important to be robust,
and if you have pushback
from members to be resilient and be
able to hold your
ground, to respond appropriately.
And that is entirely appropriate for
staff, the difficulty is one that
extends to one member behaves
inappropriately towards you, you're
still expected to just put up
with that situation.
Clerks talk a lot about resilience
but it doesn't mean
in the House of Commons
what it means outside.
It means absorbing behaviour
from members of Parliament
and also senior clerks and not
questioning it or not complaining
When you say behaviour,
They expect you to suck it up
and not make a fuss?
I think that is deemed
to be a trait of a
successful clerk in the House.
It's your ability to absorb
and be resilient, yeah.
We found that women working
for the Commons often feel
that they pay the price
of complaining about misconduct.
This former clerk's
manager attempted to
deal with the sexual
harassment by the MP that
she described earlier.
Having spoken to the MP and some
other senior management team
members, she didn't tell me who,
that the best course of action would
be to move me from that committee.
So if he harasses you, the solution
is he gets a quiet word and
you have to change jobs.
That doesn't seem like a reasonable
response to workplace harassment.
Not at all.
I didn't want to do.
I enjoyed what I was doing,
I really enjoyed my
team and despite was was going
on I didn't want to move.
of a theme we found.
Clerks told us that they fear
that if they raise
complaints about MPs it will be them
who is moved not the MP.
They also fear that
complaining just marks
their cards, as weak,
sensitive, or a troublemaker.
One of the women we have heard
from did complain to
her manager about sexual assault
by an MP early in her career in
She was harassed
throughout her time there.
So here is how she filed by the end
of a long career in House.
There was absolutely no
point in me reporting
anything because I would have been
made to feel I wasn't resilient or
So one of your friends told us.
They thought that they had done
a bit better than you in the
House of Commons, even though
they thought you were more talented,
because she had stayed
quiet and you have not.
Do you think that's possible?
I think that's possible.
I think I'm not alone
as a woman in feeling inferior
in the workplace.
And that is something that I have
carried with me for quite a
People are still fearful
about speaking out because there are
recent examples where people end up
getting moved or leaving the House
in relation to raising these things.
Management have told us to report
stuff but I think if I raised
something I'd be moved.
In all my time here
I haven't seen one case go
against a member.
Lets start naming names.
This is the Tory MP for...
We have heard time
and again about his
reputation among women clerks.
He was particularly
nasty to those he
felt were below him.
I witnessed him explode
to people, he was known for
having a dreadful temper.
The people in the room
who were administering
to the needs of the committee
were all female.
And we got called a useless gaggle
of girls or something
along those lines, I wish
I remember the exact phrase.
His attitude was vile,
I remember him once giving a
female clerk a dressing down in
front of everyone, the way he spoke
was threatening and aggressive.
I have seen him with my own eyes
screaming at people for
He went mad at me, it got very
personal, he said something
like, you stupid young woman,
you haven't got a fucking clue
what you are talking about,
who the fuck do you think you are?
I remember being very upset by it.
A number of the outbursts by Mr
Pritchard that we have heard about
seem to follow a pattern.
He has on several
occasions sought to change
arrangements for committee trips.
For example, changing his flights,
or in one case during the trip to
Los Angeles, trying
to change his hotel.
Then the clerks refuse because there
are strict rules about the
stuff and he will fly into a rage.
We have been told that House
managers know about this because he
would often take years and Greek
complaints directly to them.
-- angry complaints.
This was seen, we
were told, as a means
of intimidating the clerks
on his committee.
Mr Prichard said we didn't
provide him with enough
detail to respond but said...
The thing is, clerks
tend not to raise
Indeed since 2014, no complaints
have been escalated to
the point where even
mediation is required.
Women know what happened
to the last clerk to pursue
They have all heard of someone
called Emily Commander.
She was brilliant, probably the best
line manager I ever had in the House
She was incredibly bright,
had a very deft way at
understanding huge amounts
of information very quickly.
But she also had the
people skills which I
found quite unusual
in clerks sometimes.
And she was good at managing MPs,
which is not always
She was appointed
as the clerk of the
culture media and sport
committee in 2010.
She was laid clerk on perhaps
the highest profile of a select
the phone hacking inquiry.
Where Rupert Murdoch
was attacked with a foam pie.
Also on that committee
was Paul Farrelly, the
Labour MP for Newcastle-under-Lyme.
Mr Farrelly and Ms Commander had
worked together before, she had been
a clerk on the science
and technology committee.
They had even been
on a committee visit to Italy
in May 2004.
This is what one witness
said happened there.
He treated appallingly
in front of everyone.
He wound her up like a screw
and reduced to tears.
The more he upset her,
the more he enjoyed it, the
more he kept turning the screw.
He was very aggressive. It felt like
no one had the ability or the
authority to intervene. Everyone
knew it was wrong.
When they were
reunited on the culture media and
sport committee other witnesses told
us Mr Farrelly started again.
undermined her and pretty much every
given opportunity. We were in a lot
of meetings and in these meetings
pretty much whenever she opened her
mouth, he would undermine her. He
would interject. He would call into
question pretty much every time she
How would you characterise
his attitude towards her?
Aggressive, dismissive, rude. And
And how much of
an effect on her?
It ground her
down. It basically reached crisis
point. She could no longer do her
job. He had undermined her and
bullied her so much, so regularly,
so badly, that she was left entirely
exhausted, and incredibly
And e-mail chain
obtained by Newsnight summarising
the case reveals the testimony of
Miss Commander to her bosses.
an anxious about encountering him, I
have repeated nightmares about
have repeated nightmares about going
on committee visits with Mr Farrelly
and been criticised by him for
having neglected tiny details. After
particularly unpleasant meetings I
have felt physically six.
formal complaint was raised against
Mr Farrelly, a novelty, the
procedure had been introduced just
eight months before. This was the
so-called respect policy. On inquiry
was set up to be run by has official
and it found to other women had
complaints about his previous
behaviour. Both testified. Newsnight
has obtained a summary of one of
I remember on
occasions I noticed my hands shaking
before a meeting of the committee. I
began to sleep badly and lost my
appetite. My husband and friends
wanted me to go to the doctor and be
signed off with stress.
testimonies gave the House
authorities a pattern of behaviour
going back eight years. But
Newsnight has learned that the House
had decided that only behaviour that
postdated the adoption of the
Respect policy should fall within
the scope of the investigation. The
Respect policy was only introduced
eight months before. An inquiry that
began in February 2012 was only
accepting evidence from June 2011
onwards. The testimony of those to
other women was discarded. The
inquiry ruled that Ms Commander's
complaint in 2012, it could only
reach a decision on a field of
allegations yet overall it upheld
the complaint, concluding that had
been an abuse of power and position,
and fair treatment and undermining a
competent work by constant
criticism. The process than called
for that decision to be considered
by the House of Commons commission,
a committee of MPs.
The commission was chaired by John
Burkle, then as now the Speaker of
the house. Yet when they first met
in November 2012 they couldn't reach
a decision on what to do. Newsnight
has obtained documents logging how a
senior clerk in the house let it be
known into the union in the House
that Ms Commander should go into
mediation with Mr Farrelly. They
should sit down and work it out.
Because if she did not, the hint was
dropped, the commission would vote
to conclude that no bullying had
taken place. So what happened then?
The case was allowed to Peter out
over the next six months. Mr
Farrelly wrote an apology in private
and that was it. The case was
closed. So here he is in January at
the hearing about the BBC's gender
pay gap. Still on the culture media
and sport committee. Miss Commander
has left the House and emigrated. We
put all of this to the House of
Commons. The Speaker denies that
either he or the commission ever
insisted on mediation. They also
point out that when the case of Mr
Farrelly reached the commission in
November 2012 they suspended the
respect policy. They came to this
view, they said, because
investigations were undertaken by a
House of Commons official who might
be considered to have an interest.
And members had no right of appeal
if a complaint was upheld, while
staff could appeal it if it was
dismissed. In other words, they
suspended the Respect policy in
November 2012 and then reformed and
because they thought the old Respect
policy was too tough on MPs. That is
Mr Farrelly's reading as well, he
told Newsnight the allegations were
not upheld by the commission and the
policy under which they were
investigated was considered so
unfair that it was immediately
withdrawn and replaced by another
policy. He denies any bullying. The
House also said that the policy as
it existed in 2011 lacked the
required legal underpinning to be
used to sanction MPs.
are discussions once more about
fixing the houses edge proceedings
but the clerks are not hopeful.
me make it clear, there must be zero
tolerance of sexual harassment or
bullying here at Westminster or
elsewhere. Whether that involves
members or their staff or
parliamentary staff, or those
working on, or visiting the estate.
This is the Speaker, late last year,
the same speed get involved in the
inquiry into Paul Farrelly.
Commons commission, which I chair,
has a duty to provide a safe to
He remains, in effect, the
boss of all the clerks. But based on
our interviews, his reputation on
bullying is not good.
For my part as
Speaker, I am happy to do whatever I
can. Others must do likewise.
in 2010, a woman
in 2010, a woman called Kate Emms
became John Burkle's private sector
to become a major position in the
House. Yet she stood down from that
post after less than a year in early
2011. His colleagues dash her
colleagues have told Newsnight that
Mr Burkle's bullying left her unable
to continue in the job. She was sad
and sick. As managers had to find a
new role within the House. Has
authorities were told she had
post-traumatic stress disorder.
Accounts of Kate Emms's experience
are widely known among clerks.
Witnesses have described John Burkle
shouting at her comic undermining
her and other stuff. A subsequent
job was abducted so she would not
have to the Speaker. A spokesperson
said that the speaker completely and
utterly refutes the allegation that
he behaved in such a manner, either
eight years ago or at any other
time. Any suggestion to the contrary
is simply not true. This episode
left one strange memento. You see
Kate Emms was the speaker's Private
assistant when he had his official
portraits done. She was supposed to
be in it with him. She posed for the
artist. However this painting wasn't
revealed until six months after she
took her next job, and it was
revealed that her successor had been
painted in, in her place, another
woman clerk moved. Men suffer in the
system as well but women clerks are
particularly vulnerable. Lots to us
that the House does not have its
house in order. That is what so many
of them cast the ultimate vote of
no-confidence in their own
management and simply choose to
public service. -- simply choose to
That story from Lucinda
Day and Chris Cook.
Details of organisations
and support with bullying,
sexual harassment or abuse, are
available at bbc.co.uk/actionline,
or you can call for free at any time
to hear recorded information
on 0800 077 077.
Joining us now, deputy leader
of the Liberal Democrats,
Jo Swinson, who sits
on the cross party working group
on an independent complaints
and grievance policy.
Jo, nice of you to come in. Let me
ask you, did any of those stories
reach you, are those names all cases
Not those specific cases
although in the working group we
considered evidence from staff but
most of it was anonymous because
staff did not feel comfortable,
there is still this via issue around
it and we had on our working group
three staff representatives who were
excellent. They collated the stories
and brought them forward. It does
chime in, we obviously started this
process following reports about
sexual harassment at Westminster
which was obviously very serious,
and would have come forward with
proposals on that. What was
interesting from the staff
representatives, while there were
also concerned about but they said
in terms of the quantity of general
experiences, the more general
bullying and harassment was a great
issue in terms of how many people it
So what does this story as
Chris has told it to might tell you?
What it raises questions about is
the existing Respect policy which
exists for House stuff. One step
ahead of where we were. Working from
members of parliament, which we were
looking at in our deliberations,
because they had nothing like this.
At least House stuff had the respect
policy. But clearly the
implementation of that, from the
testimony in your report, does raise
Be blunt, it
hasn't worked. It doesn't work. If
the whole Respect policy has to be
suspended the moment you bring an
allegation and change because it is
considered too hard line,
fundamentally that is worse than
having nothing, is it not?
a fair point about making sure an
appeals process is built-in, that is
fair enough. We concluded on the
working group that it would be
helpful if this new process bringing
in would ultimately help House stuff
because we did not think the Respect
policy was sufficient. Particularly
in terms of sexual harassment where
it had not been used at all, which I
don't take to believe that none of
it was happening but more that it
was not trusted to bring those
So when you look
and hear and what you have seen
tonight, what should happen to those
men named, Pritchard, Farrelly and
The obvious thing to say
would be that there should be a
thorough independent investigation.
That is what is supposed to have
Can they keep their jobs?
Whispered one side of the story. We
have heard denials. I've heard this
for the first time this evening. But
they do deserve to have a proper
independent process and I think that
is what clearly, in terms of the 20
job process, just going to a
committee of MPs is not sufficient.
This is where independence is so
important because you have this
power dynamic in Parliament.
does it then? The frustrations of
Jon Bercow in particular, it is that
he is presiding over the system
while being part of the alleged
problem. Where do you go to address
Is always an issue in any
organisation where you'll have some
of the other top of the organisation
who is where the complaint goes.
This is what we've recommended a
properly independent process with
the investigation will be carried
out in terms of sexual harassment by
Rob Lee trained sexual violence
advocates and in terms of workplace
by, will contract an independent
service to be able to conduct that
does it say when legislators are not
able to look after their own
It says Parliament
is an outdated workplace. It doesn't
have modern professional standards.
There a culture of exceptionalism
which has many MPs see themselves
above other members of staff rather
than being in a collegiate
environment where we work with
clerks and other members of staff to
deliver good legislative lawmaking
for the good of democracy. And that
culture, whatever process you put in
place, it is part of what is so
important to change. Because what we
have seen on that video tonight is,
even when you have a process, if
your power relationships are what
they are, the dynamic is that MPs
have all the power, and if your
culture is that it's easier to move
somebody more junior than challenge
someone in power, then nothing will
Joe Swinson, you are sitting
on a committee in a position to
help. -- Jo. Do you have any sense
of optimism that you can change
I have some but I don't
underestimate the challenges. We
have agreed and we are starting on
the process now of consulting on a
behaviour code for everyone who
works in parliament that we hope
will encompass all staff, all
members. And there needs to be
proper training. Because the
assumption that just because someone
is elected to parliament that they
understand how to be a good
employer, that they understand all
these issues about how to treat
And not bully others
would hope they would but having the
training to set the cultural tone is
Jo Swinson, thank you for
The police officer who rushed
to the aid of the Russian who spied
for Britain is tonight recovering
in hospital in Wiltshire.
Detective Sergeant Nick Bailey
is still in a serious condition
after his own exposure
to the nerve agent.
Police have praised his
courage and dedication.
Last night, after
several days' silence,
Russian domestic news put
the attempted assassination
of the former spy on its evening
bulletin, with what sounded
like a couched, possibly
satirical threat -
warning anyone who dreamt
of a career as a double agent could
expect their life to be curtailed.
The presenter went on to advise
"traitors or those who simply
hate their country in their free
time" not to choose Britain
as a place to live.
But back to our own broadcast
and our diplomatic editor,
Mark Urban, who's been
leading the way on much of
is with me again tonight.
As the search for the nerve agent
become any clearer?
Yes. We now know
more about the nerve agent. They
have got things pretty specific. It
has taken them a few days. It is
much more specific now. What I am
hearing is that this has been used
to construct a case that there are
very few labs in the world that
could have produced something.
Esoteric and sophisticated in
You mean this could
not be a criminal lab, it would have
to be something else?
points towards a state institution.
A comparatively small number of
states have real expertise in
What are the
First and foremost,
first Sergei Skripal and Yulia, the
most precise information they have
about how this agent operates, I it
attacks the body, there may still be
some hope of getting them back from
the pretty catastrophic condition
that we understand they were in
after they were poisoned on Sunday.
They remained in critical condition.
We don't know when it will be
possible to bring them back to
health. More broadly, it is going to
form part of a diplomatic offensive,
if you like. I think we can see this
building up. Some fascinating
commons today by US under Secretary
of State to Christian Fraser.
If it was proven there was a link to
the Kremlin, would the United States
do something about that?
I think we
would be very supportive of whatever
decision the United Kingdom made.
What I am hearing is, to quote one
person involved in this, a lot of
conversations are now going on
between the UK and its Western
allies. Obviously starting with
America, but obviously European
allies. This suggests to me that
early next week we may see some
diplomatic push and the finger may
be pointed at a particular country.
Mark, thank you.
The role of King Lear is often
called the Everest of acting -
a part that has been described
variously as unplayable,
debilitating and almost intolerable
for the actor involved.
Sir Anthony Sher's portrayal
for the Royal Shakespeare Company
was called both monumental
and unbearably moving -
certainly, he brought a sense
of the frustration of frailty that
comes with old age.
His new book, Year of the Mad King,
charts the time he spent discovering
"the smell of mortality".
I talked to him earlier
about the role of Lear,
whether Shakespeare's language
was misogynist, and what should
happen to Kevin Spacey now.
I started by asking him how much of
a bearing age as on a production of
Yes, I think that's true.
I think because Shakespeare
charts his old age so
specifically, as you begin
to investigate it, there is
extraordinary resonance with either
older people that you know, or in my
case, my own age.
There are moments of Lear that
are terribly familiar.
And there's a particular point
Lear has these rages
in the early part of the play.
These extraordinary storms of anger
that come out of him.
And in one of the most famous -
his speech, "Reason not the need" -
he loses his way in the middle
of the speech, and has a series of
It's such remarkable writing, that.
The most eloquent
playwright ever makes his
And several people have
said that when they see
that, it really makes
them feel quite strange,
because it's their dad up
there on the stage who is trying to
exert his force and
is losing his way.
It's a very remarkable
piece of writing.
There are very funny
moments you describe.
The growing of the beard
for Lear and others, which
creates havoc with your
own personal life.
Well, there is a point
where my beard gets very bushy.
Taxis won't stop for me.
I hail a black cab, it slows down,
takes a look and then speeds off!
And I think they're making
some sort of visual
assessment, that either I am
a tramp or a terrorist.
Some of the Shakespearean
language really shocked
you this time around.
He's describing female genitalia.
He's cursing a woman's loins.
And you think this
is actually coming
from the playwright himself?
Well, there are times
in Shakespeare where
the writing becomes so visceral
that it starts to feel personal.
I find it so shocking,
it is so graphic,
that I just don't know where
Shakespeare is getting that from.
Do you think it's misogynist?
It's definitely misogynist,
but surprising to find
that in a man, a writer
who is so all embracing.
Do you think Shakespeare was
physically repelled by women?
is a strong theory that he was gay,
mainly based on the fact that his
most personal writing, the sonnets,
three quarters of them are directed
to a young man. I don't know why
being gay should make him that
frightened of women. I mean, it's so
extreme in that speech, that it's
more than dislike or disgust. It's
like naked terror.
We are at a place
now, it feels as if
the MeToo movement is
rewriting power allocation.
Do you think that's
true in the theatre?
Oh, yes, yes.
At the RSC, much more than half
of the production staff up to
the directors are women.
It's very, very evident as a change
in how theatre operates.
And when it is about
sexual abuse or sexual
harassment - obviously
not just about women,
Kevin Spacey was disappeared
from the film he was making, a sense
of sort of being erased -
is that right?
Is that the right approach?
Look, I mean it's -
we are in the kind of shock waves
of the Weinstein scandal,
so everything is very
heightened at the moment.
It's kind of like a big
learning curve that we
have all undergone,
because of the startling revelation.
So I don't know how
things will settle.
Now that we can accept
it as something
that happens and can avoid it
happening, I don't know.
Someone like Spacey,
can he come back
in a couple of years' time?
Do you think you can?
I mean, I hope so,
because he is absolutely
a tremendous actor.
And I guess in the past
we have forgiven people's
It's a tremendous loss to acting.
There is seems almost
doesn't there, with the people
that we hold up and hang out,
and the people that we sort
of ignore and move on from?
I wonder if it makes any
sense to you, the sort of
It won't any more be
arbitrary, will it?
I mean, if Polanski
was happening now, with us
so much more aware of this kind
of abuse, we wouldn't be
just letting him carry
on, would we?
There would be a different reaction.
I really think the Weinstein thing
is a big change than perhaps we
Sir Anthony Sherman talking to me
this evening. Just before we go, let
me show you the front pages of
tomorrow's papers. The times has
Donald Trump saying American allies
could be spared the tariffs on steel
and aluminium. Traders not safe on
British soil, says Russia. The
broadcaster mocking it. The daily
Telegraph has give blood pressure
drugs to half of the UK. Half of the
adult population could be put on
blood pressure drugs. You can see
Detective Sergeant Nick Bailey, the
officer now recovering, we believe,
from that nerve agent exposure. The
financial Times has Trump offers
exemptions to -- on steel tariffs to
real friends. And the border point,
Donald Tusk assurers Leo Varadker
that Ireland is top of the Brussels
agenda. The Guardian has NHS staff
getting a 6.5% rise.
That's all for this evening.
But before we go, it's
a very modern worry -
machines, AI, robots are taking
over our jobs.
What does it mean to be human any
more if we're out-competed
on every front by computers?
Ed Miliband once claimed to be
able to solve a Rubik's
cube in 90 seconds.
Here at Newsnight we
were pretty impressed.
Until we saw this invention today
by Ben Katz and Jared Di Carlo
at the Massachusetts
Institute of technology.
Starting in three, two, one!