21/06/2012 This Week

Tonight, This Week is at the races: We've put on our top hats and our

Royal Procession is ready. Is the UK's leading thoroughbred, David

Cameron, taking a big political gamble by attacking comic Jimmy

Carr over his tax arrangements? is taking that money and stuffing

it into somewhere where he does not have to pay tax. That is not fair.

It is not right. Pantomime horse and comic, Jim

Davidson, takes to the stage. have had enough of the hypocrisy.

Come on, who wants to pay more tax than they need to?

In Mexico, the world's most powerful leaders are jockeying for

position, but are they any closer to solving the eurozone crisis?

Commentator Mary Ann Sieghart, relaxes by the pool. No dress code

here in Sunni Mexico, but still people are getting hot under the

collar. And as Royal Ascot introduces a

more draconian dress code, are women feeling the pressure to look

good? Model Caprice is studying the form. It's a good job for Andrew

and Michael that beauty is in the eyes of the best older!

Get ready. We're under starters orders.

Evenin' all, welcome to This Week, bringing up the political rear, as

per usual, with our beach-side G20 special, unlike the rest of the

Westminster press pack, who this week jumped right to the front of

the queue and jetted off with the Prime Minister on a mini-break to

Mexico, where desperate leaders of the world's largest economies

gathered to agree a coordinated response to the Jimmy Carr tax

avoidance crisis that's threatening to plunge our economy into a

triple-dip recession, bring the eurozone to its knees and prevent

the recommissioning of 10 O'Clock Live. As the world looked on

helplessly at this time of great peril, cometh the hour, cometh the

Call-Me-Dave. Despite, just like the fate of the eurozone, it being

technically none of his goddamn business, our brave Prime Minister

cast all diplomatic niceties aside and broke off from the high level

negotiations to issue an urgent summit communique, branding the

hapless Mr Carr a "morally wrong" individual, who he never found

funny in the first place. So there! All the way to Mexico, just to have

a pop at a stand-up comedian. Now that's statesmanship! We await a

similar denunciation of the Conservative-voting, Cameron-

supporting, OBE-wearing Gary Barlow. But we're not exactly holding our

breath. Speaking of those who have their priorities all wrong, I'm

joined on the sofa tonight by two of Westminster's most laughable

individuals, the Jimmy Carr Trouble and Jimmy Carr Crash of late night

political chat. I speak, of course, of #manontheleft, Alan "AJ" Johnson,

and #sadmanonatrain Michael "choo choo" Portillo.

Welcome to you both. Your moment of the week. I think the Greek

election result. The reason it is my moment is that there was a fear

that the anti- austerity parties would win. Actually, I think

something worse happened, which was that the pro austerity parties have

won. The reason that is worse is that it would have been useful to

have a situation where Greece had to be edged out of the euro. We

need an experiment where somebody leaves the euro. Because all of

these countries cannot go on being in it. They are unsuited for the

purpose. I think with a tiny economy like Greece, if we could

have edged it out, we could have learnt a lot about that. The

Germans would have been happy to try this as an experiment. And now

the Germans have to grin and bear it and keep them in. For now, but

it is not over yet. Moment of the week, of the month, of the year, I

was in Westminster Hall this afternoon for Aung San Suu Kyi, and

I have a crush on the woman. She was just amazing. She quoted, say

not the struggle. She spoke about her time - this was a woman who

went home to look after her sick mother and was 20 years

incarcerated under house arrest. So magnanimous, so gentle, so strong.

No bitterness. Just like Nelson Mandela. It is that special quality,

but I think if anyone tries to intellectualise their apathy about

not voting in this country, I think I will give them short shrift.

Listening to her, battling just for the right to vote and for freedom

of speech, was memorable. Great parliamentary occasion.

Now, Jimmy Carr's tax affairs have been subjected to mass disapproval

over the past few days, an experience we're more than familiar

with here on This Week. It was revealed that he's used an offshore

tax scheme to avoid paying hundreds of thousands of pounds to Her

Majesty's Revenue and Customs. Today Mr Carr issued a fashionably

grovelling Twitter apology, but fellow stand-up comedian Jim

Davidson thinks he's done nothing to say sorry about. So we asked him

to step up to the mike and give us his Take of the week.

Ladies and gentlemen, a warm welcome if you please, for the one,

the only, Jim Davidson. Someone said, what's the difference between

a taxman and a terrorist? You can negotiate with a terrorist!

People say that tax avoidance is no laughing matter. Jimmy Carr is now

in a lot of trouble. He was until he surrendered today. I don't know

why he surrendered. What a cow would you are. Obviously no room in

the Ecuador embassy for both of you. Who would have thought we would

have something in common - tax. I never tried to avoid paying tax, I

just ran out of money when it came to paying the bill! Here is the

thing, and I will use Jimmy and me as an example again, if you

suddenly find yourself a very rich with lots of money, what are you

going to do with it? You go to an accountant or a tax adviser and you

take advice. If you are sick, you go to a doctor. Perhaps not today!

You take their advice in good faith and act upon it. If it is not be

legal, who would not do that? I spoke to Jimmy Carr the other day.

I said, had a great tour which got �3 million, and after tax, 3

million. The fact of the matter is, 1% of

Jimmy Carr's earnings is more than most people pay in tax anyway. So

he saves a little bit for his future. What is wrong with that?

The Government has called aggressive tax avoidance morally

repugnant. Big words for me. What I think is morally repugnant is the

fact that the Government, a Conservative lead Government take

nearly half your income, even more when national insurance is taken

into account. If they want to stop tax avoiders, close the loopholes.

Some would say that the Government are a bunch of hypocrites. First,

the Prime Minister has a go at Jimmy Carr and "people like him"

for tax avoidance, and then he rolls out the red carpet for the

French to come here and avoid paying their taxes. Something is

not right. The French of all people! You know what I think,

wouldn't it be simpler if we all paid the same rate of tax? After

all, a percentage is a percentage. Simple. Jimmy, don't worry, I am

sure you will get your OBE. My one stands for one bankruptcy is enough.

What do a pelican and the taxman have in common? They can both shove

their bills up their... Jim Davidson at a Comedy Store in

the West End of London. Welcome to our comedy club. The biggest crowd

I have ever had. It is good to have a real comedian on. Many hard-

working people watching will say that they find your views morally

objectionable. If you are rich, you should pay your fair share. What is

fair? A percentage is a percentage. If he is paying 1% when a nurse...

That is not fair. Everyone brings up nurses. It is like they say, it

tastes like chicken, or as big as Wales. Wales is not a country.

Let's say a train driver. Jimmy Carr loses 40% of his income. That

is not fair. He would not need to do that. If we paid the same amount,

he would not be to find these ridiculous schemes. That is the way

to stop these schemes. Let's all pay the same. Everybody wants to

pay tax, because you get a vote and everyone is proud of their country,

most sensible people. There are always people that want to opt out.

This is no defence of Jimmy Carr. He is only paying 1%. The but why

is he paying 1%? People say that 50% is too much. If everybody paid

the same, would we bother with these fly-by-night people? Would

you not rather have 25% of Jimmy Carr's money than 1%? Yes, I would.

It is not illegal, what was done. Does your conscience not say that

you should pay more tax than that? But who wants to pay more than your

financial adviser says? You go to a financial adviser and you say, what

do I do with this? Why don't the Government just say, how much have

you got, give us that? You go to an accountant whose us, we will do

this. Is It Legal? Yes. This is doubly morally repugnant. Somebody

like Jimmy Carr, somebody like you, knows perfectly well that you

should be paying a large proportion of your income in tax. We should

pay the same as anybody else. Nobody else pays 1%. A percentage

of your tax. That is not what is happening. The differences that

Jimmy Carr paid 1% and if I understood what he has just said,

he paid 0% because he left the country. But it is morally

repugnant to pay no tax. Secondly, the Government set up schemes to

help the film industry, to help the arts, for Pete's sake. People like

Jimmy Carr have taken advantage of those schemes to avoid tax. It is

doubly repugnant. Did he set it up to do that? All I can do is take

his word, and he's as it was a terrible error of judgment. Even

someone on a more modest salary, if they went to their accountant and

the accountant came up with a way and said, I have a way of reducing

your tax that is entirely legal, the scheme has been before HMRC.

Most people would say, yes. problem is that Jimmy Carr is a

satirist. And that is the problem. But there is an issue about, don't

pick on him and make him the fall guy for this, which David Cameron

did, and was a big mistake. It was a mistake for the Prime Minister to

spot light and comment on Jimmy Carr? It was a huge mistake. We

have Ed Miliband now being statesmanlike about this, saying

that politicians should not lecture. If there is a loophole, they have

to deal with the loophole. If you look at the issue of MPs' expenses,

it was all very legal. David Cameron claimed to have the

wisteria cut from around his stream and had to pay the money back. I

see no difference in terms of the morality. Was it a mistake for the

Prime Minister to comment on Jimmy Carr? I think he may well regret it.

They will now go after every Conservative donor and find out

about their tax affairs. But it may not have been a mistake because you

have to advance on two fronts. You have to make sure that the law

prevents bad practice, but you also have to stigmatise bad behaviour.

Because we know that the law will never get in advance of clever

lawyers and accountants, who will be able to avoid tax. The law is

not sufficient. You also have to declare that this kind of behaviour,

even though it is legal and lawful, is immoral. How do you stop it? You

stop it by saying that we should all pay the same percentage. I do

not think Jimmy Carr would do it again because he has been

stigmatised. If an accountant says to you, Michael, I have a way that

is perfectly legal, has been approved by HMRC and will save you

tens of thousands of pounds in tax compared to what you pay now, are

you saying you would say No? In my own case, absolutely. Why?

Because... Because you would be found out. That is the problem.

do invest in an ISA. That is tax free. That is a vehicle the

Government provides. That is a not -- that is not a proper example.

There are two cases. One is when your accountant says, I can find a

way where you will end up paying 10% less tax. It is completely

different where you say, we will put the money into some investment

The part of the problem which Jim is alluding to is this, that the

tax code is now so complicated. It doubled in size under Gordon Brown.

It has got so many loopholes in it now and it's getting bigger under

this Government, despite the promises of tax simplification. The

more complicated it gets, the more rich people can go to very smart

accountants who find loopholes. At the moment the Government finds one

loophole and they will find another. It is not a justification for it. I

think Michael, you are almost looking askance at him because he

says if you earn a lot of money you caught to pay the right level of

tax. And you shouldn't find these scams. Jimmy Carr, if he spent five

minutes finding out what K2 was about he would find it a scafplt

you put your money over there and they -- find it is a scam. You put

your money over there and they lend you the money back. It's a fair

point. The politicians, instead of moralising and picking on one

individual, as David Cameron has done, all to close those loopholes.

It's not a fair point. Politicians have responded to people who say

let's encourage the film industry, let's encourage the theatre.

Mentioning Jimmy Carr was a bit populist. No, art galleries. When

they say put your money into these things and we will Lewis your tax

bill, but then people abuse the system. That's appalling. Maybe

politicians shouldn't be given tax breaks for their latest hobbies.

You are absolutely right. The ultimate result of this will be

that politicians will not be able to do things to promote things that

they think are in the public interest. The Prime Minister's

picked on Mr Carr, not on Mr Barlow. Are we in any doubt the Prime

Minister's family who has gone through the most sophisticated

inheritance tax planning? Are we in any doubt that Mr Cameron's father

was involved in planning? There was one on Channel 4 News tonight on

schemes that were designed to avoid taxes. Do you know, look, I don't

know the details of the Cameron family taxes. It seems very

dangerous. Well, I admit it's dangerous but I do believe we are

talking about completely different things. I don't believe that people

who plan inheritance sensibly so that they take advantage of their

allowances there are on the same scale as those who avoid paying any

tax at all by using schemes that have nothing to do with their

schemes. I didn't need a find a scheme, as I've been married so

many times I didn't have any money to pay. Should Mr Barlow be made to

give back his OBE? The Prime Minister's been asked about Gary

Barlow and he wants to move on. don't think he has the same

accountant as Jimmy Carr do you? lips are sealed, guv. I think Jimmy

Carr will be over the Moon that he's on the fronts page of the

papers. I wouldn't like to be doing his next stand-up routine, although

yours tonight was excellent. Good to see you.

It may be late, too late to join the K2 tax avoidance scheme. Damn

you Jimmy Carr! Caprice will be talking about the politics of

beauty. For those who prefer much uglier rumours you can always show

us your worst side on the Twitter, Looking interweb

Site. Now back to the G20, and things are

really hotting up down there! Come on, let's crack on with the show so

Michael can whip on his leopard print Speedos and get down to the

pool. Yes, this is the austerity- busting view that the Prime

Minister's spin doctor didn't want him to be interviewed in front of

and instead started snapping hacks sitting around the pool! Here's

Senorita Mary Ann Sieghart with her poolside round-up from Los Cabos.

Viva Los Cabos and welcome to sunny Mexico. Yes, this is the side of

the G20 summit that Number Ten didn't want you to see. Nap away,

Mr Cameron. I don't care who knows. It is odd people getting worked up

about a bit of sun, sand and sea in Mexico when it's the rain in Spain

and Greece that's getting people round here hot under the collar.

Earlier this week the Greeks swore in their new PM while the British

and Americans started getting pretty vocal for the need to for

the Continentals to get their act together. The world is concerned

about the slowing of growth that has taken place. A lot of attention

has been centred on Europe. Now is the time, as we've discussed, to

make sure that all of us join to do what's necessary to stabilise the

world financial system. But like all family holidays everyone is

getting on each other's nerves. The Greeks and the Germans can't agree

on who is to pay for it. The French want to shell out more at the bar,

not less, and everyone is fed one the Brits for trying to bag the

best place by the pool. This crisis was originated in North America, we

are not coming here to receive lessons from nobody. In fact it's

been tequila slammers all round this week. David Cameron must have

been thought he was served a writ when the Argentinian Prime Minister,

Cristina Fernandez de Kirchner, tried to stuff an envelope into his

hands with the word mall vin nas into his hands -- Malvinas. I wants

to make it clear that the people of the Falkland Islands have decided

to hold a referendum about their future. If she believes in

democracy, in self determination, she should respect the outcome of

that referendum. I thought it was important to make that point and I

made that point with some vigour. The Prime Minister's not the only

man who has been jetting off to sun-soaked resorts. Nick Clegg's

been down the road in rye yo with the west rest of the world's

leaders, or the ones not in Mexico, who've flown thousands of miles to

combat climate change. Although Nick Clegg is getting worked up

with Michael Gove's plans to scrap GCSEs at home. This is not a policy

we agreed in the coalition Government. But on the exams system,

we need to make sure that we constantly improve the exams system

that so that it is rigorous and stretching. But we need to design

an exams system for the future, not turn the clock back to the past.

is iron take the man left holding the fort here is Foreign Secretary

William Hague, who was left to answer questions about today's

doctors strike. My God, there's my The Prime Minister once told us he

could sum up his priority in three letters - NHS. Isn't it more like

LOL? It obviously took a long time to think of that one! I have set

out the achievements of the Government on the NHS, even the

King's Fund in its latest report, which has sometimes been quoted by

the opposition, say there is no evidence of a decline in service

quality or performance. William Hague waited 15 years or you could

say a lifetime to stand in for the Prime Minister at PMQs. He

certainly relished it, as did Tory MPs behind him, who displayed a

certain whistfulness for what might have been. There's a lots of dis

satisfaction among Tory backbenchers, because they don't

trust Cameron, and they trust their coalition partners a lot less.

Given the appalling behaviour of Liberal Democrats Cabinet members

in not supporting the Secretary of State for culture, media and sport,

would my preferred Deputy Prime Minister arrange a divorce from the

Yellow Peril so that we can govern with Conservative policies as a

minority Government? There was one person this week who

managed to look effortlessly exotic without raising any hackles here.

Aung San Suu Kyi showed our fractious politicians that

sometimes to get yourself heard you don't always have to shout the

loudest. So many hills remain to be climbed, chasms to be briged,

obstacles to be bridged. Our own determination can get us so far.

The support of the people of Britain and of people's s around

the world can get us so much further.

Dignity, selflessness, courage, patience, why can't we have

politicians like that? Mary Ann Sieghart and Mariachi

Mexeteca, all the way from Los Cabos. In Hampton. You didn't think

we could afford to go to Mexico; Is Michael Gove right to want to

return to a more rigorous exam system? This was a leaked document.

I didn't hear what Michael said in Parliament. If it is something that

smacks of the 1950s Michael will be after it. The education leaving age

goes up next year to 17. Two years to 18. It was policy I introduced

when I was Education Secretary. But the GCSEs is almost like a school

leaving exam. We wanted kids to stay on at school after 16 and they

left in droves. Now that the education leaving age is going up,

and I agree with Ken baker on this, there's a case for having some kind

of testing at 14 rather than this 16, which was there because that

was the school leaving age. If that's part of his plan here, I

would be very interested in it. If it is just the rigour of the 1950s,

which wasn't that successful be you look at the research from the NFER,

then I don't think it will take us forward. It has certainly created a

bust-up with the Liberal Democrats. People want to see more rigour in

our exam system. I don't think rigour should be associated with

the 1950s. But people are worried that there'll be one exam and

poorer kids will is it that and the more rigorous one will be the more

middle class exam. I think the world does divide into several tier

es. I think the way in which we pretended we can have a one-tier

system in education has been a part of our problem. We have

comprehensivised education so we probably haven't done the best by

the people who are most challenged in education and we haven't done

the best by those people who could excel in education. One size

doesn't fit all. It has the potential to be an omnishambles,

because it got out in a newspaper. Mr Gove was summoned to the House

to make a statement, which he had to do and give away more I think

than he wanted to at this stage. And Mr Clegg pops up from Rio to

say, "I don't know anything about this." It was extraordinary. A Lib

Dem junior Minister, in that department, that they haven't been

discussing this as a coalition. got out because Michael Government

had lunch with Simon Heffer, of the Mail, and told him what he was

planning to do. No such thing as a free lunch. I think it was a Con's

cock-up. I know it doesn't need legislation. The Home Secretary

said you couldn't have such a major change without parliamentary

approval. You have to say that anything that's announced by the

Government may not get through. I think the chances of it getting

through must be 30%. If Labour was to put down a motion saying we

don't want this to happen, the question twheen be what do the Lib

Dems do? If they just abstain it gets through. They have to vote

against it. I'm not thinking about votes but what will happen with

mature consideration. One thing after another gets announced and

then U-turned and it disappears. Mr Gove looking like leadership

material? Great for the Labour Party. Do you think he will be the

Ed Miliband of the party? I don't think that would work. He doesn't

have broad appeal but he knows what he is about and what he wants.

He must be ahead of George Osborne in the leadership popularity stakes.

I do not think they George wants it, whereas Michael Gove is a serious

candidate for the future. I think Michael Gove is the only one still

standing. The industrial action by doctors, did you back it? I have

said this before, I think trade unions are entitled to try to

defend their pension rights. I also think... Is that yes? Yes, in the

sense that I do not take the view that U2, the Daily Mail,

practically all of the press, shock, horror, somebody has taken

industrial action. I could see it in your eyes. We were just waiting

for you to drown him. The floundering was going on and on.

is interesting that Labour is supporting people who go on strike

with average pensions of �68,000 a year. I did not say Labour, said I

was. It was hard to see what the point was. Nothing happened. Move

on. It was pointless. Frankly, it has brought a lot of obloquy on the

doctors, which is a shame, because they do terrific things and most of

them would not do anything to harm patients. I do not think it has.

There is this argument that the British are against anyone who

takes industrial action. I am not so sure. I also am not sure that

the British people do not understand it doctors are saying,

we reached a deal on pensions. One of the reasons why the cost to

public pensions is going down is because it save the Exchequer �13

billion. They are putting increased contributions in, and they have a

deal that if anything unforeseen comes in, to exceed the cost, it

comes entirely from member contributions. There is a

negotiation going on. Industrial action - you should be proud of the

legislation introduced in the 1980s because a ballot for industrial

action has to take place. A union that has got a certain point in

negotiations but cannot get any further, really the next stage is

to have an industrial action ballot. It is part of the democracy that

Aung San Suu Kyi is trying to introduce into Burma. You should be

ashamed of the GP contract you introduced that enabled them to

spend less time with patients, get more money, and now they have

pensions which up 80% financed by public sector. The most significant

thing is that Alan has gone from trying to avoid answering the

question to becoming an articulate spokesman for the case of the

doctors, almost in the course of two minutes in a TV studio. We have

had the new Prime Minister in Greece, as you were saying at the

head of the show. We had the G20 in Mexico and a statement there.

Surprise, surprise, they kicked the issue into the next summit of the

European Union next week. Are we closer to a resolution? No, because

the Euro was fundamentally flawed. It is not about one fixer or

another, 100 billion here or there, but about the thing not working. It

is about trying to put together economies which are quite different,

at different stages of development with different capabilities all

under one exchange rate. The wonderful irony of the euro is not

that the exchange rate is wrong for some of the countries, it is wrong

for all of them. It is as wrong for Germany as it is wrong for Greece.

The exchange rate for Germany ought to be much higher. It ought to be

more difficult for them to export, easier to import. It is a shambles.

Until either Europe becomes one country, which is quite unlikely,

or countries begin to leave the euro, it cannot be resolved.

problem is, right or wrong, that the continued inability of Europe's

leaders to resolve the matter means that it becomes a near permanent

drag on all the economies. Yes, and there is no sign of a solution.

Germany have elections next year. Helmut Kohl said that monetary

union without fiscal union is a castle in the air. It looks as if

there is a long-term plan that looks very much like fiscal union.

Right now, the castle is dropping to earth. In terms of leaving the

euro, the Greeks do not want to leave, and the only way they can go

as if they want to leave because they have a veto on changing the

treaty. I think they may leave none the less.

Now, Mona Lisa's eyes, Cleopatra's nose, Alan Johnson's complexion,

Michael Portillo's lips... Great beauty has taken many forms

throughout history. And Michael may well be the face that launched a

thousand steam trains, but will he still be considered the ideal in a

hundred years' time? Or even by the end of tonight's show? And at what

point does the pressure to look good become nothing but a burden?

Beauty may be in the eye of the beholder, but for one week only,

we've decided to put it in the # Could you be the most beautiful

girl in the world?. # It is Ladies' Day at Ascot, which

means all eyes turn to the thoroughbred beauty is in the

stands. In order to keep up appearances, Ascot has tightened

its dress code, with racecourse police deployed to prevent crimes

against fashion, such as strapless tops and fascinators. Watch out,

Kate. So how damaging is the pressure to look beautiful? As his

-- as headmistress has warned against the sexualisation of

schoolchildren, Kim car - and is accused of sending confusing

messages to young girls. And as cosmetic surgery becomes more

commonplace, does it matter if implants are not toxic but are more

likely to burst? So, is the ideal of beauty making us a danger on to

ourselves, or has it always been this way? Caprice joins us. How

important his duty to you? To me? Are you joking. I made a fortune on

beauty. Let's call a spade a spade. Obviously, my career has progressed,

but to start with, beauty was everything. Is it always a blessing,

or sometimes a curse? Initially, a blessing, because I made a fortune

just being a pretty girl. But when I started my business it was a

curse because there is a stereotype. She was a model, she looks like

that, we do not think the brand will work, we will not invest,

forget it. It took a few years to establish credibility and to show

that, I do not care what you think of me but I have the numbers here,

so you have to take my brand. And I can give you free marketing as well.

Because you were well known? Exactly. That is tremendous power.

Has the view of society of duty changed over time? I think now it

is almost obsessive. -- review of beauty. When I first started, it

was not quite like this. And now the media and everyone around us is

obsessed by a celebrity and beauty. That must mean young girls are

under more pressure than they were even when you were younger? Young

girls? Try older girls. Are you joking? Everyone, and it gets

harder when you get older, trust me! It does not seem that is going

to get any easier. We are more and more looks obsessed all the time.

It is a celebrity beauty obsessed culture. I am finding that

daughters of my friends, who are 18 to 20 years old, getting to want to

change the way they look. These are 20 year-olds. I am thinking, you

have not stopped growing! What are you thinking? That is something

that is quite new. What does beauty mean to you, Michael? Yeah, Michael.

I wanted to ask this, I think it must be tough because not only in

business people must doubt there you are up to it, but what about

personal relationships? How do you know whether somebody values you

for yourself or just for your beauty? I am going to be really

candid. If somebody - I am sure that their motivation was not 100%

all of the time. I am OK with that, just as long as you make me happy

and you are good to me. If your motivation is because you want to

be standing next to me and get in a picture, knock yourself out. If I

am happy in this relationship, then that is OK. I am not going to marry

you, but... We will go out for a while and I am OK with that. This

stuff that has been happening at Ascot is not about beauty. Ugly and

disabled people are welcome. It is actually about taste. If you have a

flabby tummy, or wobbly legs, we do not want to see them. It is about

taste, not beauty. I was at Ascot last year and it was horrendous.

What did you do? People were so appallingly dressed. Coming from an

American, Ascot is English tradition. It is about elegance,

about beauty. This is what we always thought it was. Elegance,

rather than beauty. Only people can be very elegant. Do looks matter in

politics? Yes, they do. I have always found my duty a blessing.

They do matter. Why did you not become leader? If you go back to

Nick Clegg, he was more popular than Winston Churchill. And his

looks... The same with Cameron and Blair. But it does not get you

through. Tony Blair's looks didn't matter. In America, Obama's looks

mattered, and Mitt Romney's looks also matter. But remember, they are

very good speakers as well. It is the look, but they are good

speakers as well. Do you think it was your looks that kept you from

becoming leaders of your party? were too beautiful to succeed.

both chicken out. Was it an issue when you were running. It was part

of your image, the handsome young man, new generation of the

Conservative Party. Let's face it, even now, Andrew, you do not want

to go on television looking hideous. I manage it every week. He is

searching for a compliment! We have to say good night. Is that it?

That's your lot for tonight, folks. But not for us, because it's Book

Club night at Annabel's and it's Michael's turn to choose our

reading matter. Which can mean only one thing - Fifty Shades of Grey.

Again! But we leave you tonight with yet more evidence that for all

their expensively educated country suppers and overpriced stationary,

the Camerons really are a terrible judge of character. Nighty-night,

don't let your embarrassing friends Who is your favourite member of