26/05/2016 This Week


26/05/2016

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What plaything can you offer me today?

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An obscure late-night television programme, your Majesty.

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The inhabitants of Earth refer to it as This Week.

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Tonight, as war rages over our membership of the EU,

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former Made In Chelsea star Francis Boulle battles for Brexit.

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On the economy, on security, on immigration,

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we are being dictated to by an EU that may as well

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Queen of the impossible, the New Statesman's Helen Lewis

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Forget intergalactic war, the Tories are

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The far right is on the rise in Europe

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and people are talking about putting boots on the ground to fight crisis.

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Don't worry, Andrew, I've got your back covered. Gathered together your

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intergalactic team. This Week's alive!

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Evenin' all, welcome to This Week, the only legal high with serious

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other than the brain-numbing EU referendum campaign,

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which replaced Project Fear with Project Embarrassment this week,

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as both sides made cringe-inducing appeals for the "yoof" vote.

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First up, those reactionary retros at Leave.EU, who promised a night

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at a concert in Birmingham, which they billed as "the biggest

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rally in modern British political history".

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Except nobody told the performers, leaving the stage deserted

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after Alesha Dixon, East 17 and the two remaining members

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of 5ive discovered they'd been booked as a Ukip backing band.

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It looked as if Sister Sledge might still be up for it

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until they were asked to sing "We are family, I've got

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Not to be outdone in the stupidity stakes,

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a poster and video campaign which employed an argot

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the old and out of touch think is used by young people, urgin'

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them to be thankin' the EU'in for all the chillin' an' ravin' an'

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drinkin' an' mixin' an' snoggin' an' pukin', an' watchin'

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This Weekin' that they've all been indulgin' in'in.

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The advertisin' brains behind this cringin' campaignin' are claimin'

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it was always the intention that people would "take

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In which case, all I can say is you've succeeded

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Speakin' of condescendin' an' patronisin' an' Blue Nunin',

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I'm joined on the sofa tonight by two Hollywood love birds having

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second thoughts about why they tied the television knot.

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Think of them as the Amber Heard and the Johnny Depp

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I speak, of course, of #jesswecan Jessica Phillips,

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and #sadmanonatrain Michael Portillo.

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And, though they say you should never kick a Lib Dem when they're

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down, we're making an exception tonight for the former

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#nickflixandchill, Nicholas "no more than 30" Clegg!!

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Michael, your moment of the week? Steve Hilton, long-time strategic

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advisor to David Cameron said that if David Cameron were anything other

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than Prime Minister he believed he would be in favour of Brexit. This

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rang a bell with me, and would be my own impression from having known

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David Cameron some years ago. I think he was elected to the party

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leadership because he was thought to be a Eurosceptic, which makes one

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think this campaign is cynical, because he goes around pretending to

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be the opposite. The person who has conducted herself with dignity is

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Theresa May, who although in favour of remaining has just kept out of

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all the hyperbole and has shown the properly, enthusiasm for a European

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Union for which the British people feel a lack of enthusiasm. So the

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way to get respect is to say nothing, Jessica. Any moment that

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was not about the EU would be my moment of the week. I will go for

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Sadiq Khan putting four women out of a team of five, so that in five

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years if he has balls start London, it will be the fault of the two men

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in the team. The ?10 million emergency funding announced for the

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prison system two days ago. Last week we had the Queens speech which

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was about prisoner four-man this week we have revelations of the

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biggest spike in suicide and violence for ages. I think it

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reveals how incredibly difficult it is to reform a prison system

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bursting at the seams, unless you bite the bullet and reduce the

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numbers. It will being credibly difficult for this Government to do

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the laudable things they say they want to in the prison system.

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Hitler, a bunch of bananas, Shaun the Sheep, and non-energy

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The answer is, of course, Shaun the Sheep, the only item

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on the list not wheeled out by parts of the Brexit campaign

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So, in a week where no one mentioned Hitler once but figures showed that

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EU net migration to the UK hit a record high of 184,000 we figured

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we could avoid talking about it no more.

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Here's entrepreneur and former Made In Chelsea star, Francis Boulle

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We're trapped in a stranded, sinking ship and the time is running

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First, I need to get the hell out of this room,

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and on the 23rd June, we all need to get out

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of the economic miasma that is the European Union.

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Right now, we are trapped, locked in by design to an anti-democratic,

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unaccountable expanding dictatorship that is sucking up the very essence

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of what makes Britain Britain - our democracy, our sovereignty

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The EU is a crony capitalist system designed to serve big business fat

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cats, multinational rentier monopolies and the unelected

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political elites running the show at the expense of small business,

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And in exchange for our democracy, the very right to govern ourselves,

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contemptuous crumbs from the Lord's table.

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Cheaper mobile bills and cheaper holidays,

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as if that's all that matters to us ignorant little people.

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The Remain campaign is using fear and lies

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to intimidate you into bending to their elitist will.

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As the great Benjamin Franklin once said, those who would sacrifice

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their freedom for the promise of security deserve neither.

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Britain is now in grave danger of losing both.

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Freed from these shackles, Britain can grow and prosper.

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More importantly, we can trade freely and directly with more

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prosperous economies around the world.

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With control of our economy, we can set Britain up

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as the Hong Kong of Europe, a financial, manufacturing

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The EU has us trapped, on our economy, on immigration

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And from Enigma Escape in Holloway, where we did not give any clues

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away to spoil the game, to no-one having a clue here on This Week,

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Welcome to the programme. You might not like where we are in the EU, but

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leaving is a leap in the dark and could be a dangerous future. I don't

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think so. Given the opportunity to regulate our economy freely, we can

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have a freer economy, freer trade with nations around the world. If

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you look at Hong Kong, their policy of free trade with the rest of the

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world has led to their prosperity. Other than trade, what could we do

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with our economy outside the EU which we can't at the moment?

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Negotiate our own free-trade agreements with countries

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all-rounder world, which currently our economy is 80% service based. I

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think only two out of three EU trade deals even cover services. We could

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negotiate free-trade arrangements with countless countries that we

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don't currently have arrangements with. Most free-trade deals do not

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cover services. 90% of those of Chile do, and they have ten times

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the value of trade agreement that the EU has. Their economy, a third

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the size of our population, one tenth the size of our economy. It

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can be done and there is nothing stopping us. The overwhelming weight

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of established economic opinion is against leaving. Does that count for

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nothing? It depends what questions you ask. For example, the Treasury

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paper this week did not ask what I thought would be a fundamental

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question, which is, why is the EU growing less fast than China, the

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United States or indeed the UK? Another question very much on our

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lips until recently, what are the chances that the euro is going to

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collapse? If it does, what will be the consequence for those countries

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remaining within the European Union? If you ask those questions you can

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come up with gloomy answers. If you ask a different set of questions and

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avoid what seemed to be self evident questions that need to be answered,

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you will get a certain set of answers. You are quite right, your

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opening point was to say these people favour remaining. It is not

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that the evidence favours it, but they have decided they want to

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remain and then looked around for evidence. Both sides do that. I keep

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hearing this argument that it is the establishment which is to stay and

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it is about fat cats and big business and we must give power to

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the people. The hilarious thing is that I hear it from Jacob Rees-Mogg

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and Boris Johnson to people like me, that somehow I am toeing the

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establishment line. The idea that things like cheaper holidays and

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roaming charges do not matter to people, these things actually do

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matter to people. But should the future of Britain's plays in the

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world be decided on roaming charges? Of course it shouldn't. But to

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suggest these are not things people are interested in... Of course they

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are, and that is why they are using them, but what it is doing is

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distracting from the actual serious point, which is that we are trading

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our democracy for things like that. For cheaper holidays. And there is

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no proof that it would cause cheaper holidays.

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Switzerland and Norway are not excluded from roaming charges.

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People criticise the 1975 referendum for coming down to the price of

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butter. Are you happy that this referendum is coming down to roaming

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charges and cheap holidays? Listen, every campaign gets rough at

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the edges. That does not bother or surprise me. Cheap holidays, of

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course they matter to people, as does our place in the world, as does

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how we deal with challenges which we could not deal with on our own,

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whether it is climate change or cross-border crime. I would just

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like to go back to Francis Boulle's peace. Having spent some time

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working there, your piece is based on a complete fiction. There is not

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this is embodied dictatorship imposing stuff. What do you call a

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dictatorship, a bunch of unelected people dictating laws? The European

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Commission cannot impose laws. It is about half the size of HMRC. The

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EU's budget is a tiny am a minuscule fraction of our own budget. It

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sounds great, we are being dictated to. Actually, my experience is that

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it is just a permanent haggle, 306 to five days a year, between

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sovereign states doing deals with each other. There is no

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unaccountable democracy imposing laws on us. Well, I think the

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evidence speaks for itself. For the past 20 years we have challenged 72

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laws put forward by the EU commission and we have not won a

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single challenge. So clearly we are not having much influence. I think

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about 95% of all EU decisions are ones we are happy with. There is a

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very small number. I call that being dictated to. I don't mince my words.

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Remains is the pound will fall if we leave, and house prices will fall if

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we leave - why would either of these things be bad? Well, I mean, it's OK

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if you can take a shock to your economy. But we're still paying for

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the last shock which we had to our economy. And it is not big fancy

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people here, establishment people, who will suffer. A shock to our

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economy hits the poorest people. Why would it be bad if the pound fell or

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house prices fell? House prices to be honest have spiralled wildly out

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of control! So that wouldn't be bad, then. But there is a big problem of

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young people being able to afford houses. Things like the cost of

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petrol at the pump and all of that sort of thing. There would be an

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effect on people's pockets. On people in my constituency. Stuart

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Rose said the other day that in fact EU migration is driving down the

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wages of the poorest in our country. If you look at the past five

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years... I am not saying Hong Kong is perfect. But the principles of

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free trade, history shows they work. When the pound went down to about

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1.13, under the coalition government, of which the distinguish

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Debuchy primer list was with us this evening, I do not remember anybody

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saying that was a great calamity. -- the distinguished Deputy Prime

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Minister. We as a country rely on the generosity of strangers. The

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huge amount of money which is lent to us by people from other parts of

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the world, liens and billions of it. I do worry sometimes that if we were

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to pull out of the European Union, and Alex Salmond was saying today,

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another possible Scottish referendum, it would be much harder

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for us to borrow money, which we need to do, because otherwise...

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These are all prospects, and yet British bond yields are still at

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record lows. I don't think it's going to happen, but if did...! When

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you listen to Remain about what would be in store for us, the

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terrible things that would happen if we left the EU, you do wonder how we

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managed to survive on our own for 1000 years. You could make the

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argument both ways. We have been in this club for 41 years. If it was

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such a disaster, we wouldn't be the fastest-growing economy in the

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European Union. So you can't have it both ways. Excuse me, four decades,

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that's mainly because we've thwarted what you wanted to do, which was to

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join the euro full stop that has been asked of ocean. The only reason

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that Britain is in any way content in the European Union is because we,

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the Conservatives, back in the day, stopped us being in either Schengen

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or the euro, while you were busy campaigning for us to be in the

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euro. Don't laugh about it, you would have brought this country to

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ruin. I think the Conservative government of the time took the

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right decision, which was the single market. The single European act was

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the greatest pulling of sovereignty at any time undertaken. The Boadicea

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of Euroscepticism! The market went down by half! Let me put this to you

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chuckle when this country joined what was then the European economic

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community, London was fast becoming a declining backwater. During the

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membership of the European Union, this city has become the biggest,

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most successful city in Europe, if not the world. What's wrong with

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that? Imagine how much more successful if it could be if it was

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hampered by the single market. Back then, the EU trading bloc was the

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future, and it is not the future any more. Excuse me, that's because the

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Conservative government... What else did you do? Deregulated in 1984. It

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was big bang that made that happen. I will tell you a dog that is not

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barking. For all Project Fear, nobody this time dares to say the

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City of London will be ruined if we leave the European Union. That is

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because they know that they made such complete fools of themselves

:19:30.:19:32.

saying that the City of London would be ruined if we didn't join the

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euro. Thank goodness, even the Project Fear direct is not bringing

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up that one. We have just had a night saying it is a dictatorship,

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it is Hitler...! Let me ask you this, as we are coming to an end. Is

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this referendum cutting through to the public? No. I was going to ask

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him first! So what is the turnout going to be? It will be terribly

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low, don't know will win by a landslide. Maybe the people I am

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speaking to. People who want out speak very loudly about it, people

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who want in our shy. You think the turnout will be low if it is, it

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will be bad for your side? Yes, at I think it will be higher than Jessica

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thinks. People are not wildly... The bunting will not be out, it is not a

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street party moment. Actually, most normal people aren't that

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interested. But I sense in my constituency that people, even if

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they are not particularly interested in it, kind of get that it is

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important and that they probably should drag themselves to the

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polling station. Turnout? I'm still for less than 60%. Do you think you

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will win this argument? You know, I hope some, but I think... I don't

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know. You don't know. I just don't know.

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Now, it's late, "Alex Salmond gently stroking the hair

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But don't let the strange habits of the former First Minister send

:21:06.:21:10.

And the actor and adventurer is waiting in the wings,

:21:11.:21:15.

to tell us why we should embrace danger, rather than avoid it.

:21:16.:21:18.

And if you like to live life on the edge, follow us

:21:19.:21:21.

on The Twitter, The Fleecebook, InstaGranny, SnapDrivel and Gordon

:21:22.:21:23.

Now, the Chelsea Flower Show opened its garden gate this week.

:21:24.:21:30.

And as usual, the green-fingered This Week team have put

:21:31.:21:32.

in a strong entry for this year's competition.

:21:33.:21:35.

We've called our show garden Westminster Weeds,

:21:36.:21:38.

because although we're considered undesirable, the Yentobs

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Here's the New Statesman's Helen Lewis with her bloomin' marvellous

:21:42.:21:46.

You know the trouble with young people?

:21:47.:22:22.

25- to 40-year-olds have never learned to garden,

:22:23.:22:29.

according to the Royal Horticultural Society.

:22:30.:22:31.

And there's something else they don't enjoy doing

:22:32.:22:33.

With just a month to go to the EU referendum,

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Everyone's desperate to convince us to vote.

:22:40.:22:44.

With that in mind, George Osborne and David Cameron headed to B

:22:45.:22:47.

The shock to our economy after leaving Europe would tip

:22:48.:22:51.

This could be, for the first time in history, a recession

:22:52.:22:56.

As I stand here in B, it would be a DIY recession.

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I know, you thought this show was the place to come

:23:05.:23:06.

Elsewhere, things weren't quite so rosy either.

:23:07.:23:12.

Harriet Harman and Shirley Williams warned that not enough women's

:23:13.:23:14.

voices were being heard in the debate, while Nicola Sturgeon

:23:15.:23:17.

said all the doom mongering was putting people off.

:23:18.:23:19.

I'd much rather we were campaigning positively.

:23:20.:23:21.

In Scotland we've got lots of experience of Treasury

:23:22.:23:27.

reports during referendum campaigns and I think people have got

:23:28.:23:29.

savvy to see through some of the overblown claims.

:23:30.:23:34.

Meanwhile, Boris Johnson may have been a late bloomer as far

:23:35.:23:37.

as Euroscepticism is concerned, but on the campaign trail

:23:38.:23:40.

I think that they are rattled on the Remain side of the campaign

:23:41.:23:48.

because they are putting out more propaganda than we've seen at any

:23:49.:23:55.

time since 1992 when they said that we couldn't leave the European

:23:56.:23:58.

It was a liberation for this economy.

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They were wrong then, my friends, and they are wrong now.

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That said, there were times he just wanted to avoid

:24:12.:24:14.

I was told there was a gentleman who had an egg he was

:24:15.:24:20.

Now, there are people hungry in this country, my friend.

:24:21.:24:27.

Immigration is likely to dominate the final weeks of the EU campaign,

:24:28.:24:33.

and across Europe fears over free movement of people are driving

:24:34.:24:36.

In the Austrian presidential election this week, the far right

:24:37.:24:41.

candidate, Norbert Hoffer, lost by lost by just 31,000 votes.

:24:42.:24:47.

# And tiptoe through the tulips with me...#

:24:48.:25:00.

Back at home, things were exceptionally feisty

:25:01.:25:03.

where Angela Eagle enjoyed tearing into the Tories.

:25:04.:25:11.

With David Cameron away at a G7 meeting in Japan, her opponent

:25:12.:25:19.

was that sensitive little wallflower George Osborne.

:25:20.:25:21.

Following his second omnishambles Budget earlier this year,

:25:22.:25:23.

I see the Chancellor's approval ratings have collapsed by 80 points

:25:24.:25:26.

Given that he seems to be following a similar career path...

:25:27.:25:32.

Given that he seems to be following a similar career path,

:25:33.:25:36.

isn't it time he turned to Michael Portillo for advice?

:25:37.:25:41.

Last week the former would-be leader said of the Queen's Speech,

:25:42.:25:46.

"After 23 years of careful thought about what they would like to do

:25:47.:25:52.

in power," Michael Portillo said, "the answer is nothing.

:25:53.:25:54.

"There is nothing they want to do with office or power.

:25:55.:25:59.

The Government has nothing to do, nothing to say and thinks nothing,"

:26:00.:26:02.

I will tell you what we have done in recent weeks.

:26:03.:26:08.

We have taken another million people out of tax altogether.

:26:09.:26:13.

We have frozen fuel duty, cut business rates for small

:26:14.:26:16.

businesses, we have seen the deficit fall by another 16 billion,

:26:17.:26:19.

we have delivered a record number of jobs and introduced

:26:20.:26:21.

Outside Parliament, Jeremy Corbyn took time away from his allotment

:26:22.:26:30.

to protest with steelworkers who want the Government to help Tata

:26:31.:26:33.

Putting pressure on from the very beginning.

:26:34.:26:41.

One of them is to halt the Chinese steel dumping.

:26:42.:26:43.

I went to see the Chinese President and raised that issue with him.

:26:44.:26:46.

The other thing is a European-wide rate to prevent Chinese dumping,

:26:47.:26:54.

and that is beginning to happen, but again the British Government has

:26:55.:26:57.

been last in line to do anything about it.

:26:58.:26:59.

Thirdly, the British Government must be prepared to take a public stake

:27:00.:27:02.

Corbyn's predecessor as Labour leader, Tony Blair,

:27:03.:27:08.

popped up to say we should nip Isis in the bud by invading

:27:09.:27:11.

Air strikes are not going to defeat Isis.

:27:12.:27:15.

They've got to be tackled on the ground.

:27:16.:27:17.

It doesn't mean to say that it's our forces all the time.

:27:18.:27:19.

But do not be under any doubt at all.

:27:20.:27:25.

If you want to defeat these people, you're going to have to go and wage

:27:26.:27:29.

And if you think that was the most controversial political

:27:30.:27:33.

intervention of the week, wait until you see the Remain

:27:34.:27:36.

campaign's video for young people, which seems to think

:27:37.:27:38.

Anyway, I must get back to my begonias.

:27:39.:28:06.

I'm sure the judges from Chelsea will be

:28:07.:28:08.

I think I've done something really avant-garde here.

:28:09.:28:14.

Thank you to the team at the garden Centre in Herne Hill. They would not

:28:15.:28:30.

let us into the Chelsea Flower Show. How nasty is this war getting

:28:31.:28:34.

between the Tories during the referendum? I don't think I have

:28:35.:28:40.

much to Ed to the situation last week when I said it was really

:28:41.:28:46.

bitter and I thought it was about a 50-50 split between the remains and

:28:47.:28:49.

the levers and a difficult situation once this was all over. Shares in

:28:50.:29:00.

George Osborne have been dumped. It is generally thought that Boris

:29:01.:29:04.

Johnson, so far, has not had a great campaign. Where does that leave the

:29:05.:29:11.

post-Cameron Tory leadership? I think the candidates who would go

:29:12.:29:14.

forward in the near future would be Boris Johnson and Theresa May. Boris

:29:15.:29:19.

has not had a good campaign that on the other hand we just lost London,

:29:20.:29:25.

which rather suggests he was an exceptional election winning figure

:29:26.:29:30.

to hold London for 80 years. And he has put himself on the Leave side,

:29:31.:29:35.

and the majority of people who will vote for the next Tory leader are

:29:36.:29:41.

likely to be voting leave. The Tories think that no matter how much

:29:42.:29:45.

they knock spots off each other, which is never good for a party to

:29:46.:29:50.

be seen to be fighting, they think that Labour is such a mess that does

:29:51.:29:55.

not effect of area election chances. Are they right? It is impossible to

:29:56.:30:02.

say what will happen in future but I think the Tories feel pretty

:30:03.:30:05.

confident that they can air their dirty laundry in public for a little

:30:06.:30:09.

while because they have some leeway. That is definitely the way they

:30:10.:30:14.

feel, although I think the airing after the referendum will be worse

:30:15.:30:20.

than what has come before. There has been a sense in which this

:30:21.:30:23.

referendum has been, if not a wholly-owned subsidiary of the Tory

:30:24.:30:29.

party, largely an internal Tory argument. Which is a problem for the

:30:30.:30:35.

three quarters of the electorate that did not vote for the

:30:36.:30:38.

Conservatives, or did not vote at all. The vast majority did not vote

:30:39.:30:43.

for the current government and are not interested in the Tory

:30:44.:30:49.

infighting. I find in parts of the country, such as Sheffield, and I

:30:50.:30:54.

suspect your constituency, it is a real difficulty when you are talking

:30:55.:30:57.

to people on the doorstep and they say, I find this quite off-putting.

:30:58.:31:01.

I do not think it will change because it is a great story so the

:31:02.:31:05.

media love it, and it is self-inflicted. David Cameron called

:31:06.:31:10.

the referendum and it was driven principally because of divisions in

:31:11.:31:15.

the party. I always assumed, because the country will be desperate to

:31:16.:31:19.

move on, of course there will be some people who will bang on about

:31:20.:31:23.

it in the Conservative Party, but I have a hunch that they will move on

:31:24.:31:31.

quicker than people might imagine. They are obsessives. There are 42

:31:32.:31:35.

are obsessives. I plucked that number. But I think there are quite

:31:36.:31:43.

a large number who feel they have been bruised by the way they have

:31:44.:31:48.

been treated, by the way the campaign has been conducted. Given

:31:49.:31:50.

that the Prime Minister is not fighting the next election, how many

:31:51.:31:55.

of those bruised people will feel that change should come sooner

:31:56.:32:02.

rather than later. This could be Labour's opportunity in

:32:03.:32:07.

Parliamentary terms, because there is a prospect, given how small the

:32:08.:32:12.

Government's majority is and there could be 40 people feeling bruised,

:32:13.:32:16.

who have the taste of rebellion in their mouths, that you could well,

:32:17.:32:21.

as far as the Government is concerned, this could become a

:32:22.:32:25.

zombie parliament, a parliament in which not very much can happen. It

:32:26.:32:31.

is not just the Euro-sceptic divide, but a new breed of Tory MP from the

:32:32.:32:39.

last election that are wet. Many people approached me after I asked a

:32:40.:32:43.

question of the Prime Minister last week and said, we are on your side,

:32:44.:32:48.

many backbenchers. I think it speaks to David Cameron's weakness. The

:32:49.:32:53.

same reason we are having the referendum. He threw in the towel

:32:54.:32:57.

and everybody thinks they can misbehave because they can pick

:32:58.:33:02.

their lane. Supposing the Government wins the referendum by a reasonable

:33:03.:33:11.

margin, it could still have trouble getting its way. It has a small

:33:12.:33:15.

majority and has to have a leadership election while trying to

:33:16.:33:18.

ride the bicycle of government. But there are big things which will come

:33:19.:33:23.

into sight. The fiscal promises they have made are completely incredible.

:33:24.:33:27.

There is no way George Osborne can generate this surplus by the end of

:33:28.:33:32.

the parliament. Not only have they failed in one parliament, but over a

:33:33.:33:36.

decade. Hospitals and schools will come under pressure and Middle

:33:37.:33:39.

England does not like that. Those things will intrude while they are

:33:40.:33:44.

arguing about who will lead to them. I think those things will be more

:33:45.:33:48.

difficult to navigate than the bruised egos after the referendum

:33:49.:33:56.

campaign. I always thought David Cameron was in the ideal position

:33:57.:33:59.

when he was leading a coalition which included 57 Liberal

:34:00.:34:14.

Democrats... A distant memory. The lamp -- the number of Liberal

:34:15.:34:17.

Democrats was higher than the number of head-bangers in the Tory party.

:34:18.:34:20.

He is in a more difficult position now and I think this Government is

:34:21.:34:24.

turning out to be less distinguished than the one in which you were

:34:25.:34:31.

involved. Where would you place the Lib Dems on their trajectory of

:34:32.:34:40.

recovery? Starting. Don't snigger. I know it's a long climb back. In the

:34:41.:34:44.

local elections we got the third highest proportion. The largest net

:34:45.:34:51.

gains, from a low base. It is a start. We got absolutely hammered

:34:52.:34:55.

last year. We are trusting ourselves down and starting the recovery. You

:34:56.:35:02.

have come back from worse. I remember when the Lib Dems had

:35:03.:35:08.

Jeremy Thorpe, or David steel, a national figure leading them and

:35:09.:35:11.

that is what you do not have the moment.

:35:12.:35:15.

Now, here on This Week, we like to think we fear nothing.

:35:16.:35:18.

Like us, you have probably run screaming from the room

:35:19.:35:22.

on numerous occasions, having caught sight of one

:35:23.:35:24.

It turns out there's a perfectly good explanation.

:35:25.:35:27.

You must be suffering from something called sidero-dromo-phobia,

:35:28.:35:33.

the medical term for an abnormal fear of trains, train

:35:34.:35:36.

Either that, or Michael Portillo gives you the willies,

:35:37.:35:42.

which is hard to believe, I know.

:35:43.:35:44.

And that's why we're putting "danger" in this week's Spotlight.

:35:45.:36:02.

Grim news from the slopes of the world's highest mountain,

:36:03.:36:04.

which claimed a number of climbers' lives this week.

:36:05.:36:09.

But for those driven by danger, is conquering Everest

:36:10.:36:12.

the peak of excitement and a risk worth taking?

:36:13.:36:19.

The world certainly seems more dangerous.

:36:20.:36:21.

Even beach holidays are outside the comfort zone for some people,

:36:22.:36:24.

with government warnings about travel to Tunisia,

:36:25.:36:26.

Egypt and Turkey, and holiday bookings dramatically down due

:36:27.:36:29.

So, living on the edge isn't for everyone, and if you believe

:36:30.:36:39.

the warnings of Project Fear, that's exactly what leaving the EU

:36:40.:36:41.

But isn't one man's terrifyingly leap into the unknown another man's

:36:42.:36:48.

We're going to sail to the top this time, God willing.

:36:49.:37:00.

If anyone embraces danger, it's the man who's attempted

:37:01.:37:07.

Everest three times, survived a plane crash

:37:08.:37:08.

in the Venezuelan jungle and punched a polar bear in the nose.

:37:09.:37:12.

But what's the appeal of a life like that, and would you risk life

:37:13.:37:16.

He climbed up and got back up again and he joins us here. Welcome back,

:37:17.:37:36.

Brian. It is wonderful to be here are terrific. And Jess is looking

:37:37.:37:42.

gorgeous. She never swears in the House of Commons, but she does that

:37:43.:37:48.

with her nose, which means she is saying something. Shall I just rip

:37:49.:37:57.

up the questions? Can I say, this is my favourite programme. My wife

:37:58.:38:03.

adores it. The most dangerous thing you can do on every arrest is to

:38:04.:38:12.

wear green. Why? Oh, my God, he is wearing a green shirt. Did you just

:38:13.:38:19.

make that up? He looks like the King of the leprechauns. Why can't you

:38:20.:38:27.

wear green? It is very bad drought -- bad luck. I know you have torn up

:38:28.:38:34.

your questions. I will not dry up, I promise. I will have Nick's water.

:38:35.:38:44.

It is vodka. I think the most dangerous thing you can face on

:38:45.:38:48.

Mount Everest, you always must make sure that you camp above the French.

:38:49.:38:54.

Because they will crap on you from a great height. You get underneath

:38:55.:39:07.

and, look out, Brian. Does this bring us back to the European Union?

:39:08.:39:14.

Is something going on in Europe? Why are you always putting your life on

:39:15.:39:20.

the line? I think the greatest danger in life is not taking the

:39:21.:39:26.

adventure. There are Everests everywhere. It can be your garden,

:39:27.:39:32.

your garden shed, your greenhouse, whatever. Why is that risky? It is

:39:33.:39:42.

the challenge, you mean. Yes, everywhere. Since the age of seven,

:39:43.:39:47.

I always wanted to follow in the footsteps of Mallory, wearing the

:39:48.:39:52.

same clothes. It's all right, I am not going to grab you, I promise.

:39:53.:39:56.

This is what it is like at base camp. Is this what the French do? It

:39:57.:40:06.

is quite a serious thing, going to the toilet on Mount Everest. We were

:40:07.:40:15.

at 27,000 feet. The wind was blowing, we were about to go for the

:40:16.:40:21.

summit, and suddenly Adams said to me, I've got to go for a crap. I

:40:22.:40:27.

said, you can't. We are at 27,000 feet, the wind is blowing everywhere

:40:28.:40:32.

and there is a four mile drop, four men in a two man tent. This is

:40:33.:40:39.

reality. I said, crap in your pants. It will turn to dust, as it does at

:40:40.:40:46.

altitude. The quiet, Nick. I brought his body across. The bloody can of

:40:47.:40:56.

beans are coming out... I got him across my body, the snow was coming

:40:57.:41:03.

in. I have this gift for altitude and they did not. I said, tie

:41:04.:41:08.

yourself off, think of your mother and your children, try and

:41:09.:41:12.

concentrate. He went out there and he had a crap. He came back in and,

:41:13.:41:23.

get him across my body. We were still alive. I thought, Christ,

:41:24.:41:28.

well, we had better have a brew up. We were getting the brew up ready

:41:29.:41:32.

and suddenly Graham said, there's a terrible smell of crap. I turned

:41:33.:41:42.

round and there was a third on his shoulder. He had had a crap and the

:41:43.:41:50.

wind had blown it up in the air. It had landed on his shoulder. That is

:41:51.:41:59.

the glamour of Mount Everest. You don't get this on Newsnight or

:42:00.:42:07.

Panorama. You don't get this on ITV. You don't get this on the Ten

:42:08.:42:14.

O'Clock News. You are going to do the opposite of Everest, going to

:42:15.:42:20.

the deepest flaw of the ocean. I want to go to the deepest trench,

:42:21.:42:25.

mine extend venture. I will make this straight and clear, because

:42:26.:42:30.

there is no end to my talents, Michael. But I have completed 800

:42:31.:42:41.

hours space training. I have been training at reunion Island in the

:42:42.:42:48.

Pacific. You have the choice of whether to go up or down. I am a

:42:49.:43:01.

trained cosmonaut. How do you complete that procedure you just

:43:02.:43:07.

talked about? Don't go there. Are you directing a play? You have done

:43:08.:43:15.

your work. You are looking at a genius. I have always been humble.

:43:16.:43:22.

Give us the name. I am trying to get you a plug. I was the master of

:43:23.:43:27.

ceremonies for the Hong Kong handover. Remember that? You didn't

:43:28.:43:33.

know that. I literally handed over Hong Kong. We are going to have two

:43:34.:43:41.

handover to continuity. Good luck with the play. It is great to have

:43:42.:43:47.

you and once again, public service broadcasting at its finest!

:43:48.:43:51.

That's your lot for tonight, folks, but not for us.

:43:52.:43:53.

Because today was Jezza Corbyn's 67th birthday, and Charles Clarke's

:43:54.:43:55.

minicab is waiting to whisk us away to the Red Rose Tandoori

:43:56.:43:58.

in Islington North, to share a keema naan at the feet

:43:59.:44:01.

It wasn't just Jezza's special day today.

:44:02.:44:06.

And we all have to sing happy birthday, or he's

:44:07.:44:15.

promised to storm off in an almighty strop.

:44:16.:44:26.

# Happy birthday to you # Happy birthday to you

:44:27.:44:46.

# Happy birthday, dear Michael # Happy birthday to you.

:44:47.:44:49.

# Once upon a time, there was

:44:50.:45:00.

a great and glorious king.

:45:01.:45:07.

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