Welsh Assembly Election 2016: 13/04/2016 Party Election Broadcasts: Monster Raving Loony Party

Could you do that again for us? HORN HONKS

Right, OK, I want to do something a bit more crazy here.

JAUNTY PIANO MUSIC

Looking cheerful, looking happy to be here.

-ALL:

-It's the Monster Raving Loony Party!

We are Welsh Loonies.

-ALL:

-We are Welsh Loonies.

-We're standing in the Welsh Assembly elections in May.

-OK.

Across Wales. What do you think? Do you think it's a good idea for us?

Everyone's got their opinion, ain't they?

You've got to be confident,

you've got to appear to be completely confident.

What?

Zebra crossings should be available to all animals, not just zebras.

Oh, yeah. I always thought that was a bit zebra-ist.

DOOR OPENS

Er, we're sort of filming in here.

-We're filming for the Party Election Broadcast.

-Oh, right.

You know, we're creating like a silent environment.

PHONE RINGS

-Would you vote Loony if it was me?

-Of course I would.

-There we are.

-Yes.

-Fantastic!

-I'd do anything for you.

-I know.

THEY LAUGH

ELECTRONIC MUSIC AND LOOPED LAUGHTER

You should be having laverbread, not pickled onions.

And I intend to bring back

the traditional Welsh pickled-onion farms

to the South Wales valleys.

Just eating a pickled onion as normal as possible,

without looking like a psycho.

PHONE RINGS Oh, it's Chris.

We should reduce the number of seats in the Welsh Assembly

from 60 to 5, to save money.

Well, you can't run Wales with five people.

Well, can they run it with 60, do you think?

-LAUGHING:

-That's a good question!

THEY LAUGH

DANCE MUSIC PLAYS

All the windmills - you know, the windmills for the wind farms -

to be painted psychedelic colours.

We intend to bring back breeding pairs of Welsh dragons.

We could also bring in different-coloured dragons.

We could have green dragons, red dragons, pink dragons,

black dragons, yellow dragons...

JAUNTY MUSIC PLAYS

I should be in the Loony Party, shouldn't I?

You should be in the Loony Party. Would you join?

PHONE RINGS

The Welsh Loonies will bring back mermaids into the River Taff.

-I think that's an excellent idea.

-Do you?

-Yeah, more mermaids the better.

-Mermaids are great, yeah.

Especially if they're topless.

The Welsh Loonies will decriminalise broccoli.

LAUGHTER

The Loony Party will make Swansea Airport

the hub for the Welsh space programme.

-ALL:

-Hear, hear!

We will introduce the letter K to the Welsh language

and, unlike English, we shall give it a sound.

TOOT!

You're not filming this, are you?

Cameron? Yeah, well, that's what we're trying to do, get Cameron out.

-Yeah.

-We need qualified Loonies in the Assembly.

If you're going to have someone insane,

-you may as well have someone who really means it.

-Yeah, yeah.

I would like to see all sewage...

-LAUGHING:

-Sorry.

LAUGHTER

Man versus horse and bog snorkelling to become an Olympic sport.

Would you vote for me?

The voting age should now be

when you're at the age where you can hold a crayon.

We are Welsh Loonies.

That's...freaky.

No, I think that's... There's got to be some good material in there.

That's perfect.

Vote for the Monster Raving Loony Party, innit?

LAUGHTER

ELECTRONIC MUSIC AND LOOPED LAUGHTER