Welsh Assembly Election 2016: 13/04/2016 Party Election Broadcasts: Monster Raving Loony Party


Welsh Assembly Election 2016: 13/04/2016

A party election broadcast by the Monster Raving Loony Party for the Welsh Assembly election on 5 May.


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Transcript


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Could you do that again for us? HORN HONKS

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Right, OK, I want to do something a bit more crazy here.

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JAUNTY PIANO MUSIC

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Looking cheerful, looking happy to be here.

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-ALL:

-It's the Monster Raving Loony Party!

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We are Welsh Loonies.

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-ALL:

-We are Welsh Loonies.

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-We're standing in the Welsh Assembly elections in May.

-OK.

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Across Wales. What do you think? Do you think it's a good idea for us?

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Everyone's got their opinion, ain't they?

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You've got to be confident,

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you've got to appear to be completely confident.

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What?

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Zebra crossings should be available to all animals, not just zebras.

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Oh, yeah. I always thought that was a bit zebra-ist.

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DOOR OPENS

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Er, we're sort of filming in here.

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-We're filming for the Party Election Broadcast.

-Oh, right.

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You know, we're creating like a silent environment.

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PHONE RINGS

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-Would you vote Loony if it was me?

-Of course I would.

-There we are.

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-Yes.

-Fantastic!

-I'd do anything for you.

-I know.

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THEY LAUGH

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ELECTRONIC MUSIC AND LOOPED LAUGHTER

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You should be having laverbread, not pickled onions.

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And I intend to bring back

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the traditional Welsh pickled-onion farms

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to the South Wales valleys.

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Just eating a pickled onion as normal as possible,

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without looking like a psycho.

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PHONE RINGS Oh, it's Chris.

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We should reduce the number of seats in the Welsh Assembly

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from 60 to 5, to save money.

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Well, you can't run Wales with five people.

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Well, can they run it with 60, do you think?

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-LAUGHING:

-That's a good question!

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THEY LAUGH

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DANCE MUSIC PLAYS

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All the windmills - you know, the windmills for the wind farms -

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to be painted psychedelic colours.

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We intend to bring back breeding pairs of Welsh dragons.

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We could also bring in different-coloured dragons.

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We could have green dragons, red dragons, pink dragons,

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black dragons, yellow dragons...

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JAUNTY MUSIC PLAYS

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I should be in the Loony Party, shouldn't I?

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You should be in the Loony Party. Would you join?

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PHONE RINGS

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The Welsh Loonies will bring back mermaids into the River Taff.

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-I think that's an excellent idea.

-Do you?

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-Yeah, more mermaids the better.

-Mermaids are great, yeah.

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Especially if they're topless.

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The Welsh Loonies will decriminalise broccoli.

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LAUGHTER

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The Loony Party will make Swansea Airport

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the hub for the Welsh space programme.

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-ALL:

-Hear, hear!

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We will introduce the letter K to the Welsh language

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and, unlike English, we shall give it a sound.

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TOOT!

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You're not filming this, are you?

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Cameron? Yeah, well, that's what we're trying to do, get Cameron out.

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-Yeah.

-We need qualified Loonies in the Assembly.

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If you're going to have someone insane,

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-you may as well have someone who really means it.

-Yeah, yeah.

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I would like to see all sewage...

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-LAUGHING:

-Sorry.

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LAUGHTER

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Man versus horse and bog snorkelling to become an Olympic sport.

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Would you vote for me?

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The voting age should now be

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when you're at the age where you can hold a crayon.

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We are Welsh Loonies.

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That's...freaky.

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No, I think that's... There's got to be some good material in there.

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That's perfect.

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Vote for the Monster Raving Loony Party, innit?

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LAUGHTER

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ELECTRONIC MUSIC AND LOOPED LAUGHTER

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