Christmas Special A Question of Sport

Matt and Phil are full of festive fun tonight.

Matt's hoping for a Christmas number one

with Jordan and Harley, better known as Rizzle Kicks.

And it certainly isn't pointless him being here - Richard Osman.

And hoping to deliver the gifts for Team Tufnell,

bringing the glitz and the glamour of Formula 1, Suzi Perry.

And will he manage to keep his light on tonight? Paddy McGuinness.

This is all set to be an absolute cracker,

it's the Question Of Sport Christmas Special.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Hello, and welcome to what promises to be a festive extravaganza.

I have certainly got my work cut out

trying to keep this lot under control.

OK, we are going to start the show with a quickfire round.

Matt, your team are up first.

As Richard is a huge Fulham fan, and the boys are Arsenal fans,

we're going to test your knowledge of their former players.

We're going to go down the line

and you have to say if the person I name

played for Arsenal, Fulham or both.

-We can't confer, then?

-No, no, no.

-On your own. Just straight off.

-That's a tough start.

-It is.

-It's supposed to be Christmas, Sue.

-I know! This is competition!

We could start with maybe a small sherry

before we get into this, surely.

LAUGHTER

I have mine!

Are you ready? OK. Richard first. Steed Malbranque.

-Fulham.

-Yes.

Matt, Gilberto Silva.

-Erm, Arsenal.

-Yes.

Jordan. Gael Clichy.

-Arsenal.

-Yes.

Harley. Clint Dempsey.

-Fulham.

-Yes.

-Richard, Philippe Senderos.

-Oh!

-Both.

-Yes.

-Oh!

Barry Hayles.

-Fulham.

-Yes. Louis Saha.

-Fulham.

-Yes. Anders Limpar.

-Fulham?

-Oh!

-WHISTLE BLOWS

It was Arsenal, but out of time anyway.

APPLAUSE

What a great start. Seven points, good start.

APPLAUSE

OK, Phil's team now.

Suzi, don't look worried, because we've got Formula 1

and Bolton Wanderers

as your specialist subject.

So there is someone who has done both?

LAUGHTER

You have to say if the following people

have driven in Formula 1, or F1,

played for Bolton, or neither.

OK, oh!

I like that, Sue. Tricky!

-Yes.

-Suzi, we're going to start with you and go down the line.

-Heikki Kovalainen.

-Formula 1.

Yes. Tuffers, Mixu Paatelainen.

-Erm...

-Bolton.

-Bolton.

-Yes.

-Paddy!

-Sorry, I thought we could all...

-Go on, go on.

-No, individual. Jay-Jay Okocha.

-Bolton.

-Yes. Dirk Kuyt.

-Neither?

-Yes.

-Woo-hoo!

-Jos Verstappen.

-Erm, erm, no, F1!

Yes. Jussi Jaaskelainen.

The Mighty Whites.

WHISTLE BLOWS

APPLAUSE

Very good start, you scored six.

No Christmas celebration would be complete without a game of charades.

Matt, your team are going first,

but you're going to take a team-mate up with you.

-Who are you going to select?

-Can I just interject here, a moment?

-This is not your go, Paddy.

-No, no.

Three. Four.

-Half each.

-Let the Rizzle see the Kicks, I love them lads.

-But it's just not fair, Matt.

-To be fair, Paddy,

we let you give one of Phil's answers in the first round,

so it's evening itself out.

Richard, no-one was speaking to you.

LAUGHTER

-Who wants to come up and play charades?

-I will do it.

-JORDAN: I love charades.

-Up you come.

APPLAUSE

-We can confer. We can work things out.

-But you can't...

-We can't just say anything.

-I know the rules of charades.

LAUGHTER

OK, there's your first one. Your time starts now.

Hold on, you... There it is, there.

-RICHARD: Photo finish.

-Yes.

-You go on.

-A six.

-Say that.

-Baseball.

-Yes

That's the one.

Oh...

-Tug-of-war.

-Yes. Tug-of-war.

THEY GRUNT

-Wimbledon.

-No. What are they doing?

-What are they doing?

-Tennis court.

-No.

-Lob.

-Move on.

-Oh, go on. Go on.

-All right.

RICHARD: Rowing. HARLEY: That's that...

-That guy, what's his name? Redgrave and Pinsent.

-Yes.

Shoes off!

WHISTLE BLOWS

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

That was a knockout!

That was amazing. Well done.

Good work.

-Very good. Well done, team, well done.

-That was a rally.

-A tennis rally.

-Rally was the word we were looking for.

But well done, you scored four.

APPLAUSE

Right, Phil. Who are you going to take up with you?

-Who are you going to leave?

-Suzi, Suzi!

I am not going to let this fellow guess,

so I think, Suzi, you're going to have to do the guessing.

-I am taking Paddy up with me.

-OK.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Remember, no talking. Your time starts now.

-Ice hockey.

-Yes.

-No, no, no.

-Sumo.

-Yes.

-Sumo wrestling.

-Yes.

-Rugby.

-Yeah.

-Rugby scrum. Scrum.

Quiet, no speaking.

You can go in front!

Oh, my God! Oh, ice...

-Erm, toboggan.

-No.

-Erm, luge.

-No.

-Ice luge.

-Quiet, Tuffers.

-Move on.

-OK.

-Oh!

-Mexican wave.

-Yes.

-Oh!

-Oh!

-Skating. Torvill and Dean.

-Yes, Torvill and Dean, yes.

THEY ROAR

-Formula 1. Oh, pit stop.

-Yes!

-Very good.

-Get on there.

SUZI: Oh!

LAUGHTER

-Bench, bench, sub bench.

-Yes!

WHISTLE BLOWS

CHEERING

Yes, Bobsleigh was the only word that you missed out on.

-How many do you think you got?

-I think I have got a hernia, Sue!

LAUGHTER

-Six?

-Seven!

CHEERING

At the end of that round, Matt's on 11,

Phil's team in front on 13.

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

Right, Matt, we are going to test your team's sporting knowledge.

Here's your first question.

Which horse won the 1964 Epsom Derby?

-Oh!

-Yes.

-That was, erm...

Look at your blank faces.

We thought that you could do with some help, so please welcome

world quizzing champion and Eggheads star Kevin Ashman.

APPLAUSE

Sue, can you ask Kevin if he's got trousers on?

LAUGHTER

-I'd just like to check.

-That's my business.

LAUGHTER

And don't worry, Phil. We've not forgotten about your team.

You have the most recent addition to the Eggheads' team,

it's "Tremendous Knowledge" Dave Rainford.

APPLAUSE

Hello.

Hi, Phil. Hi, Suzi.

Dave, I know you've got no pants on, I can tell.

-No likey, no lighty, Paddy.

-Correct!

Me and you all the way, come on.

So, back to the question, Matt.

Which horse won the 1964 Epsom Derby?

There are your three options.

That was a good shout.

RICHARD: Thank you. I don't know the answer but...

-Well, I think...

-You can ask Kevin for help.

There's no forfeit for asking?

-No.

-I would have thought Santa Claus, Kevin.

-Kevin, do you know that?

-Santa Claus?

-Yes, I'm pretty sure that's right. I think it's Santa Claus.

-Flying...

I'm joking! Santa Claus.

-It's the right answer.

-Go on!

OK, Phil, this one's for your team.

Which team that played Spurs in Europe this year

is less than 600km away from Lapland?

-OK...

-Tromso is right at the top of Norway.

No, it's not, it's kind of in the middle, isn't it?

I would have gone Tromso myself.

But as people know, my geography is not that great.

Well, thanks very much!

LAUGHTER

You're meant to be an Egghead!

-Get Kevin on our team. Sub.

-Lapland is, like...

Erm... Where is Lapland again?

-Up north?

-That's why I didn't think it was Tromso,

because I didn't know Lapland was over that way.

Do you want to disagree with an Egghead?

No, Lapland is up near Denmark...

Scandinavia, so, yeah,

I would certainly go Tromso

out of those three options.

Just before we decide, what do you think, Kevin?

LAUGHTER

I couldn't possibly comment, Paddy.

-PHIL:

-Have you heard of any of these names? Football teams?

-I have heard of Tromso.

-Let's go with the Egghead then.

-Can we go with Tromso IL?

-Well done, it is correct.

OK, Matt, back to your team.

Jack Frost played nearly 100 minor-league baseball games

for the Sioux City Packers in 1906.

In which state were they based?

-I know this one. I actually do.

-Do you?

I was watching a video on Sioux City the other day

and I'm pretty sure it's in Iowa.

JORDAN: That is boss if you know that, mate.

HARLEY: I think it's Iowa.

RICHARD: I would almost always go with one of Rizzle Kicks

rather than the world quiz champion, but...

on this occasion, just for TV...

Yeah, we might as well.

Let's check him out. Kevin, has Harley got that right?

-He has, yes, you didn't need me at all for that.

-Iowa.

Is the right answer.

Come on!

-Tuffers.

-Yes.

American Wilma Rudolf won three gold medals at the 1960 Olympics,

-in which city?

-1960 Olympics.

Is it Melbourne?

Shall we go to our Egghead?

-Why not?

-Shall we confirm with Dave?

-Dave, this is a year, so you guys are good at years.

-Sometimes.

Dave, do you know anything?

Let me just try and get something off the top of my head.

Let me skip to the good bit here.

CHEERING

1956 was Melbourne, 1964 was Tokyo.

By deduction, I think 1960 is Rome.

Lovely. We're going to go, Sue,

with Rome.

Well done, Dave, yes. It is Rome.

Can I have a buzzer to put out, please?

Has he got any trousers on? Have a little look.

Well done to both teams in that round.

A huge thank you to Dave and Kevin for joining us.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

And at the end of the round, Matt's on 13,

Phil's team in front on 15.

APPLAUSE

It is time now for a musical interlude.

We are delighted to be joined by the Mariachis!

THEY PLAY MEXICAN MUSIC

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Yee-ha!

Great stuff. Now, the guys are going to play a medley of sporting hits.

All you need to do is try and remember what you've heard.

Listen carefully. OK, boys, take it away.

# Walk on, walk on

# With hope in your heart... #

THEY PLAY "EYE OF THE TIGER" THEME FROM "ROCKY"

THEY PLAY "SOUL LIMBO" CRICKET THEME

# Swing low

# Sweet chariot

# Coming for to carry me home... #

THEY PLAY "CHARIOTS OF FIRE" THEME

# Oh, flower of Scotland

# Proud Edward's army

# And sent him homeward

# To think again... #

# Snooker loopy nuts are we

# Me and him and them and me

# We'll show them what we can do

# With a load of balls and a snooker cue. #

THEY PLAY "MATCH OF THE DAY" THEME

Hey!

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

That was great. Now, how well were you listening?

It's time to face the music.

Fingers on buzzers, here we go.

Which of the songs played

featured in the 2012 Olympic Games Opening Ceremony?

BELL RINGS

-Daws.

-Chariots Of Fire.

-Let's hear.

THEY PLAY "CHARIOTS OF FIRE" THEME

Yes, correct. Well done.

Well done. Next question. Tony Meo appeared on...

BELL RINGS

-Daws.

-Was that me again? Snooker Loopy.

-What?

-Let's hear.

# Snooker loopy nuts are we Me and him and them and me

# We'll show them what we can do

# With a load of balls and a snooker cue. #

I tell you what, he has got very fast fingers, that lad.

Matt, that was quick, pal. And I was quick.

LAUGHTER

But you were quicker.

Next question.

Which of the songs played would you most likely hear at Murrayfield?

BUZZER RINGS

-Phil.

-Flower Of Scotland.

-Very good.

# Oh, flower of Scotland

# Proud Edward's army

# And sent him homeward

# To think again... #

Brilliant, that's correct.

And the guys played the theme tune to which show...?

-BUZZER RINGS

-Oh!

-Oh!

Show?

Oh!

I was going to say Rocky.

No, not Rocky.

Oh! BELL RINGS

-Match Of The Day?

-Let's hear.

THEY PLAY "MATCH OF THE DAY" THEME

Hey!

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

That is correct.

That is the end of the round,

and a big thank-you to the Mariachis!

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

And we will hear more from them later in the show.

At the end of that round, well, the teams are tied now, both on 16.

APPLAUSE

Right, it is mystery guest time now.

Make sure you are watching carefully.

You are all playing along to this one.

Who is getting a lesson in TV presenting

from the best in the business, CBBC's Hacker?

Welcome back, cockers.

This afternoon we've been asking about your favourite cut meats.

Excuse me, tall gentleman, I think you're in the wrong studio.

The Question Of Sport studio is that way.

Do you want to hang around with me for a bit in the office?

I can show you how to do some top-notch presenting.

There's a script there, cocker. Have a little glance at that.

I normally just chuck it away and make it up.

But the most important thing

is just to be dead entertaining like me.

MUSIC: "Cotton Eye Joe" by Rednex

It's been lovely having you to visit, but now get out!

Go on, goodbye. And tell Sue that I am completely in love with her still.

I think I just figured out who that is. It's...

Don't give it away, Hacker.

Right, write down who you think it is on your cards.

Can you manage?!

-Are you done, Tuffers?

-Yes.

-OK.

Would you hold up your answers, please?

"Michael Vaughn."

"Let Michael see the Vaughn. Merry Christmas."

-And wickets.

-Let's have a look.

Yes, it is England cricket captain Michael Vaughan.

APPLAUSE

And lovely to see my old mate, Hacker.

-I hope he's having a good Christmas as well.

-I sure am, Susan!

LAUGHTER

-All right, Sue?

-You're looking very festive.

-Oh, yeah, well, it is Christmas, isn't it?

-I know.

And you are looking rather...Sue Barker.

LAUGHTER

-I've got you a present.

-Have you, Sue? Have you kept the receipt, love?

Yes!

Just in case, can't be too careful. How are you, cockle?

I'm doing very well. Now, look,

you're going to work while you're here.

You're going to try and earn these teams a little bit of money.

-Money for charity?

-No, points.

-Disappointed.

Right, are you ready?

-Sure am, cockle. I'm poised.

-OK.

LAUGHTER

That's better. Carry on, love.

See if you can win Matt a point here.

What is it called on a golf course

when the fairway bends sharply?

Erm... Oh, I don't know. Sue, I know!

I know the answer, Sue.

-It's dog leg.

-It is dog leg.

APPLAUSE

-OK. And now.

-Yeah, yeah, yeah.

-For Tuffers.

-Oh, no, not him.

Is he still on this?

LAUGHTER

You all right, Tuffers? Tuffers' surname is Old Boots, isn't it?

-Hey!

-"Tuffers" Old Boots. Forget it.

I do kids' telly normally.

Right, what is former Manchester United goalkeeper

Peter Schmeichel's nickname?

I know as well, Sue. It's that dog off Corry, isn't it?

-He's a great Dane.

-He is!

-Fantastic. Brilliant.

-Sue.

While I'm here, can I tell you a joke?

-Please do.

-You know this one, Paddy McGuinness.

PADDY: OK.

You can use this one.

How does Bob Marley like his doughnuts?

With some jam inside of the doughnuts.

LAUGHTER

That is deconstructive comedy, that.

Or as the laymen call it, not very funny.

LAUGHTER

And thank you to Hacker.

The end of the round and the teams are tied, both on 19.

Yes, thank you.

-Which way to the bar?

-Anywhere.

Cheers, Sue. I'll just take the lift.

LAUGHTER

Right, it is the final round of the game.

As you can see, everyone is out from behind the desk

and behind the boxes.

I can tell you that the points that you've earned throughout the show

have been converted into snowballs.

And both teams have 19 snowballs each.

OK, I'm going to ask you some sporting questions

and you need to split the snowballs up

depending on how confident you are of the answer.

OK, Matt, your team are up first.

Your question. Which of these grounds is furthest north?

Which one is the furthest north? Time starts now.

THEY CONFER

-Start moving.

-Tell me which is higher.

Liverpool is higher than Leeds, isn't it?

Keep going. Five seconds, keep going. Quick, quick, quick.

KLAXON BLARES

-The correct answer is...C.

-Ohh!

-The correct answer is C, Elland Road.

-We are still in the game.

OK, you need to get rid of the others.

LAUGHTER

Watch the antlers!

-Don't throw them at me.

-Phil, this one is for you.

Which of these people was not born in the '70s?

What?!

Time starts now.

-Start moving.

-Was not?

-Was not born in the '70s.

-Go on, then. So where do we put them?

-Split them.

You have five seconds.

-Split them. Please split them.

-I don't know what we're doing, Sue!

KLAXON BLARES

APPLAUSE AND LAUGHTER

The correct answer is...

-C.

-C? We had two fall out there.

-We had two fall out.

-No, you didn't!

-We did!

-Count them.

SUZI: We did, actually.

..Four, five, six, seven, eight, nine,

10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18.

18. One fell out.

So get rid of all the others, Tuffers. From A and B.

-You're only allowed five.

-Deal with it, boys.

You're nothing but a bunch of cheats.

We are only allowing five in C.

What?!

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, we've got.

LAUGHTER

You want a piece of me?

You can have it, Sue!

You can have it!

Shut up, Paddy. Not very competitive, these lot, are they?

LAUGHTER

OK, right, I will give you a little longer

before we start the clock this time.

Matt, which of these people is the tallest?

-Crouch is 6'7".

-Courtney Walsh, surely.

-Courtney Walsh is 6'9".

-How tall is Michael Jordan?

-OK, your time starts now.

-I think it is C.

-And split, otherwise you could be out of the game.

-You have got to leave something in each.

-Just have a cover.

-No, don't put any on Michael Jordan.

-What if...?

-OK, just one.

Quick, quick, quick.

KLAXON BLARES

No, no!

PADDY: No!

Whoa!

The answer is, at 6'7", Peter Crouch.

A was the answer.

THEY ARGUE

I said definitely Peter Crouch.

OK, Tuffers, you've got five left.

-Ready?

-Is it the last round, Sue?

-Well, there could be a final question.

-Oh, Sue, you're a tease!

LAUGHTER

We could split them.

Which of these teams has reached the World Series the most times?

OK, I will give you a bit of time to look at the teams.

-I would say B and C more.

-I would say that.

-Time starts now.

-Have we got the right A and Bs?

-This is A. This is Toronto Blue Jays.

-Boston Red Sox, Chicago White Sox.

-It's got to be Sox.

PADDY: We don't need the time.

KLAXON BLARES

APPLAUSE

Very clever. You've split the balls. I see that.

The correct answer is B.

That's all right, we have two left.

Tuffers, you've got two. Matt, you've got one.

There's one final question now and you're both playing. Ready, teams?

A record number of goals were scored in the top flight

on Boxing Day in 1963. Here are the results.

Who beat Manchester United 6-1?

The three options...

Which one are you going for? Time starts now.

THEY CONFER

Five seconds. Put them in the box. Daws, two seconds.

KLAXON BLARES

I couldn't put it in too early...

-Tactics over there. Did you see that?

-So, if it is C, you win.

If it's B, it's a lovely draw. Let's see.

The right answer is...

-Get in!

-..B. It's Burnley.

APPLAUSE

Which means, going into Christmas, what a wonderful way to finish.

It finishes in a draw!

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

ALL: Merry Christmas!

So just time to say a huge thank you to our guests,

to Suzi and Paddy.

Oh, another present. Thank you, Paddy!

And also to Richard and Rizzle Kicks.

And just time to say a merry Christmas and a happy New Year,

we will see you back here in 2014.

Bye-bye.

APPLAUSE

THEY PLAY "A QUESTION OF SPORT" THEME