Episode 5 A Question of Sport

On the oche tonight are world No 1, Michael van Gerwen.

Rugby league legend Martin Offiah.

King of the one-liner, Tim Vine.

And double world champion Adrian Lewis.

Who will be checking out on this evening's A Question Of Sport?

Hello and welcome.

Tonight's show is looking ahead to the Champions League of darts,

which will be on the BBC this weekend.

And Michael and Adrian are two of the incredible talents that will be

on display during the tournament and we are thrilled they are with us

tonight. Also very happy that Martin and Tim are with us.

They like to throw the arrows.

We saw them in Let's Play Darts.

Guys, how would you describe your darts prowess?

Martin?

Um... Prowess?

Prowess is not quite the right word.

Put it this way, I wouldn't give up my day job.

Tim, you did well.

I gave up my day job. It was a big mistake.

LAUGHTER

My view is I can't understand why I'm not improving.

I keep asking. I've been asking Adrian. I can't understand why I'm not getting any better.

I'm sure I've played as many hours as some people I've seen

who are ten times better than me. So, Adrian, what's wrong?

You've seen me throw.

ADRIAN: You might realise... You might not be right-handed.

LAUGHTER

Which team will be on target tonight?

We are going to start tonight's quiz with the One Minute Round.

Phil, your team are up first tonight.

Just shout them out, boys. All the questions in this round have a darts

twist to them. You have 60 seconds to get through them.

Ready? Yep. Here we go.

Who partnered John Peers

in the Wimbledon men's doubles final last year?

Can you get it wrong and carry on?

Yes. Just shout.

You can get it wrong. Queen Elizabeth.

LAUGHTER

Murray. Andy Murray.

Jamie Murray. Jamie Murray. Yes.

Which surname is shared by a Jaws in darts and a cricketing Bumble?

Lloyd. Yes.

These two footballers make up which darts venue?

That's Ally McCoist and Gary Pallister.

Ally Pally. Of course.

Very good, yeah. Against which county did Brian Lara

score his record-breaking 501?

Warwickshire. Sussex. Surrey. Warwickshire.

No.

501. 501. Against.

Against? Durham.

Yes. Yes. Which former world youth darts champion do these two make up?

Kevin Keegan... And Dustin Brown.

Yes. Paul Lim recorded the first-ever World Championship what?

9-dart finish. Yes.

Fill in these blanks using darts players' nicknames.

Vampire. Crafty Palm.

Nickname. Darts players' nicknames.

What are they called? Dog, Doggy?

WHISTLE

Oh, no.

APPLAUSE

No worries.

You did so well. The ones you missed were Viking Palm.

Viking! Darwin Barney.

And Sarah Hammer.

Not bad, though. Funny how you know it all afterwards, isn't it?

It's so easy, isn't it?

Adrian, what's your nickname?

It's Jackpot. And what's the story behind that one?

Oh, I was playing a tournament in Las Vegas.

I was 20 years old at the time.

I won $72,000 on a fruit machine.

Nice. That's where I got the Jackpot from.

But unfortunately for me, you have to be 21 and I didn't get the money.

LAUGHTER

So, yeah, typical no jackpot...

That's painful! Tim, you are known as the Punaway Train.

That's your nickname. So, OK, we've got 30 seconds on the clock.

Oh, crikey, OK. Sporting gags, go.

I've got a cat called Minton. When he eats shuttlecocks

I say "Bad Minton." I was playing football on an aeroplane.

It was amazing. I was running up the wing...

LAUGHTER

This bloke said to me, "Can you tell me your availability to run a football team in Sheffield?"

I said, "I can't manage Wednesday."

LAUGHTER

Hang on, I've got more.

I was playing tennis with a napkin. I said, "Don't serviette."

Did you know all male tennis players are witches?

For example, Goran. Even-he's-a-witch.

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

Right, Matt. Over to your team.

Ready? OK, we're ready.

Time starts now.

Which Dutch city hosted a round of the Premier League darts this year?

Rotterdam. Yes.

After winning the F1 world title in '96,

Damon Hill moved from Williams to which team?

Ferrari? Benetton.

No. Williams.

Darts theme. Oh, yeah.

Darts.

Er... Arrows.

Yes. The surnames of these two footballers

make up which well-known darts phrase?

Check. Check - to do with darts.

Out. Check out.

Yes. Players from which country have been involved in the last three

PDC World Championship finals?

Players from which country?

Last three finals.

Holland. Holland.

No. Scotland.

Yes. Which World Championship semifinalist do these two sports stars...?

Terry Jenkins. Yes.

Which city hosted the Chinese Formula 1 Grand Prix this year?

Chinese Formula 1...

Shanghai?

Yes. Fill in the blanks with darts terminology and equipment.

Oh.

Barrel.

Barrel, is it a barrel?

Board. Er... Top.

WHISTLE

No.

Not even close.

Do you know?

I ain't got a clue.

Darts equipment. Yeah.

You've got a dart.

Flight. That's it, isn't it? Flight's a good one.

Yes. That was one.

Flight's in. Flight was in.

And bull was out of time, I'm afraid.

And Kid Oche was there. Oh...

Oche.

Well. End of the opening round and the teams are tied.

Both on six.

We have an observation round for you now.

You need to make a note of everything you see,

as well as the points being scored in the darts clips.

This is a toughy. I'm warning you.

Everyone ready? Here we go.

MUSIC: Down The Road by C2C

LAUGHTER

Matt, we're going to start with your team.

You saw a footballer scoring a goal

and a rugby union player scoring a try.

Both were wearing the number 20. Who were they?

Robin van Persie.

Yes. And Danny Care.

Yes, is the right answer!

APPLAUSE

Well done. Hey, well done.

Phil's team. You saw two tennis players in action

at the Wimbledon Championships. They share their surnames

with the 2009 Premier League darts finalists.

Who were the players?

Well, James Wade is Virginia Wade.

And Billie Jean King would be what's his...? Mervyn King.

Yes. Well done. Spot on.

APPLAUSE

Matt, have a go at this one.

Joe Root was out for 180.

But what time was it on the clock when he was dismissed?

LAUGHTER

What time was it, basically?

What time was it on the clip?

LAUGHTER

180. Is he going to get that in the first day?

Maybe not.

You know what I mean? So it could be going into a second day.

It could be pretty much any moment.

MARTIN: It was quite sunny...

Did he look like he had lunch?

Good point.

It was closer towards lunch, do you think?

Or perhaps tea, even.

We all stopped for tea, as well.

Very civilised. We are going between lunch and tea.

We're going to go between lunch and tea.

We thought he looked a little bit peckish.

Fancied a cake!

Yeah.

So we'll go...

What's tea, four o'clock?

Something like that. I think 3:40 to four o'clock, tea.

Is it? OK. Let's go a little bit earlier than that.

MARTIN: Two something. Yeah, two...

2:15? 2:15.

No.

11:15. In the morning.

Anyway, here's yours, Tuffers.

Hal Robson-Kanu and Gareth Bale were celebrating at the Euros.

Their shirt numbers are either side of which number

on a standard darts board?

I think it was that.

Listen, I think it was that.

I think Bale was that and he was that.

Is that right? TIM: You're absolutely certain about?

Pretty much so. So it must be either...

Either direction of that.

So which way? So that's there. What is that side?

TIM: He's 11, so it must be...

THEY CONFER

Do you know where 11...?

LAUGHTER

TIM: I think it's 14.

ADRIAN: It's 14.

Yeah, go on. 14.

It is!

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

So, finally, this one is for both teams. Right.

How many points were scored overall in the darts?

Closest gets the points.

I knew it was...

..20, was it? Double 20?

I've got no idea. I thought you were on it.

I think it's that, but let's go... I reckon we go with you.

Shall we go somewhere in the middle?

Is there a dispute? Let's go... Let's go...

No, but Ade's the one who does the darts for a living, so...

Yes.

Oh, come on, you can't put it on me.

That was going too quick.

You're not far off there, I reckon.

Oh, right, OK. You reckon?

We'll go with that. Yeah. Go with that.

Just take a note of that cos, if that's right, I did say.

LAUGHTER

Right, OK, then.

Right. And then I'll just put a little one.

What was it?

PHIL MUMBLES

We're in, Sue.

We are locked in and ready to go. OK.

Let's have a look at their scores.

Oh, no.

Of course. Oh, no. Of course it would be.

We didn't have a clue.

364 or...

We didn't have a clue. Not a clue?

We just thought, "It's a common darts number, isn't it?"

I think you could be right there.

The correct answer is...

391.

So, closest... Very good. Very good.

..just 27 away, you get the point. Well done.

APPLAUSE

In this round, we're going to be playing a game of 501.

So, on the board, you'll be able to see, now, six sporting facts.

Each stat has a numerical value

and it's your job to pick a fact

that will help you reduce your score.

I can tell you they range from 60 to 130.

So, choose carefully. It could be crucial.

So, Tuffers, your team have first pick.

Right, what do you fancy, boys?

I mean, he's quite old and he's still playing.

He's still at the Majors.

No? Majors, there's only four Majors. That's true, yeah.

I think, just... Shall we have a little dart with that?

Go on. Your first pick is...?

Adam Gilchrist test caps.

OK. Now, I said they ranged from 60 to 130.

How many?

96. 96! Not bad. We'll take that. Nice.

"Good arrows, Phil. Good arrows, son."

So that brings you down to 405.

So, Daws, what's going to be your first pick?

I think we're going to go...

Are you happy with that, Michael?

It's the only one I know, of them, anyway.

We'll go with that one then. Edwin van der Sar...

There's no touch-screen. ..International caps.

It's not touch-screen. No, it's not.

So, I said 60 to 130.

How many? It scores...

Right up there. "Good arrows."

APPLAUSE

Right, one more pick each.

I would say... Bernhard Langer cuts made.

Steffi Graf career singles.

That's going to be about 30. Yeah, 20 or 30.

Hang on, career singles, not majors.

Career singles titles.

Yes. It's not just the majors.

It's any title in singles.

Which one do you fancy, boys?

Let me just draw something that might help.

I'm just doing a Steffi graph!

LAUGHTER

I like it.

I reckon... 40 or 50 there.

OK. Bit of that? I think so, yeah.

Go on, then. Let's have a look at Steffi Graf, please, Sue.

You're going with Steffi. How close is that?

Oh! 107. Very good.

Very good. APPLAUSE

Wow! Wow.

Now, Matt, your final pick.

What would you go with? What number are you looking for?

Yeah, what would you...? No, it doesn't matter.

What...? 130. The highest.

What would you go with?

I think he's going to be 56.

I would go for one of...

This one. OK, we're going with Bernhard Langer

cuts made at the Masters.

At the Majors. Majors.

Including the Masters. Including the Masters.

Let's see how many.

70. OK. All right. That's all right.

Don't mind that, don't mind that.

It's a 301. That's a nice finish.

301. Yeah. Very little between you.

Well, now, it's time to finish the game,

so can you all head to the oche, please?

Right.

APPLAUSE

We're really in trouble now.

Hugh Ware will be our referee.

Good luck, Hugh, trying to keep them all in check.

It is the non-professionals

who're going to go first.

So, Martin is up first, please,

for Team Matt.

Come on! Come on.

Come on, Chariots.

Just hit the board, buddy, just hit the board.

Just hit board.

Nice and steady. LAUGHTER

Nice. Come on. Nice start.

That's better.

HUGH WARE: 39!

39? That's all right.

That's all right. APPLAUSE

Come on, Twitchy. Come on, mate.

Don't throw ones.

I'm starting to worry I may not be able to let go of this. Come on.

I haven't signed a release form.

LAUGHTER

Right, here we go. A bit nervous?

Shut up, you, stop barracking my players! Yeah, sorry, mate.

Nice. That is steady, isn't it?

Oh, look, it's going to be 22, isn't it?

Unlucky. 26, maybe.

Nice.

HUGH WARE: 41! APPLAUSE

SUE: Michael's next.

MATT CHANTS "SEVEN NATION ARMY" BY THE WHITE STRIPES

41!

That 41's rattled him.

HUGH WARE: 100! APPLAUSE

Go on!

You throw 87. I'll try.

HUGH WARE: 140!

APPLAUSE

Right, come on, Chariots, here we go.

Just...anything on the board is good.

LAUGHTER

Mate, my 39 was all right.

I know, that was great. But even numbers, yeah?

No, you ought to be motivating me.

Even numbers. Just more than 65.

No pressure.

Two. That's good.

16. Stop.

HUGH WARE: 36. Well done. APPLAUSE

Very nice. Very nice.

Consistently all over the shop.

HUGH: Tim, you require 117.

This is your moment, Tim.

Adrian, your work here is done.

LAUGHTER

I hope so!

The shot's off.

LAUGHTER

Treble 19, 19.

Hold on. Treble 19, 19?

Yeah. Leave tops.

Oh, there's the one.

That's unlucky. HUGH: 36!

Well played, well played.

APPLAUSE Well played.

HUGH: Michael, you require 126.

Come on. My hands are tingling a little bit, are yours?

I know. This is massive.

He's on the 19s.

Normally, I like the 19s.

ALL: Ooh!

Where do I go for?

That's useless.

HUGH: 43!

APPLAUSE

Adrian, you require 81.

Go on, Ade. I'm here if you need me, but you carry on.

LAUGHTER

That's a hell of a dart. Hell of a dart.

Tops. Tops to finish.

HUGH WARE: 61! APPLAUSE

Hey, unlucky, mate.

Unlucky.

HUGH: Martin, you require 83.

I'll show you a couple of different ways.

You start with treble one, tops, tops.

Or treble 17, double 16.

Treble 17, double eight, double eight...

LAUGHTER

APPLAUSE

Treble 17, double 16.

Treble 17? Double 16.

It's about five o'clock, five o'clock.

Oh.

16, bull.

16, bull's-eye, yeah?

Concentrate. Take your time.

HE INHALES AND EXHALES

This one, and then this one.

16. 16.

Unlucky. Again. Throw it again.

None of that.

HUGH: 36!

Or 11. APPLAUSE

Tim, you require 20.

Cometh the man...

"Come on, Vine, don't be a runner-up all your life."

LAUGHTER

Come on. It matters for once. Come on.

Oh. Eight's left, is it?

Yep, double four.

That was unlucky. Unlucky.

Unlucky again, mate. But you've won a lovely speedboat.

LAUGHTER

Oh!

No, it's the shadow, isn't it?

(The tension's killing me.)

HUGH: 12.

Good effort, good effort. APPLAUSE

HUGH: Michael, you require 47.

Come on!

What do we need? Double 16.

No, no, cannot do that.

Double 16, don't mess around here.

Oh, yes, he's missed!

LAUGHTER

HUGH: 29.

APPLAUSE

Hey, come on. Step up.

Have you lot actually played before?

LAUGHTER

I was on last week. They got us off the street.

Last week.

Adrian, you require eight.

Now don't mess it up.

Bum darts. Bum darts, I had.

MATT: Oh.

Oh! Unlucky, mate.

Oh, it's close. What?!

One shot and then it's over to Chariots.

Game, shot,

and the match

to Team Phil. APPLAUSE

That win for Phil's team means that's two points

to add to the score. Well done.

APPLAUSE

Teams, you are On The Buzzer for this round.

I'm going to ask you a series of questions

and the answers to them are the numbers on the dartboard.

If you get the question correct,

you earn the point and you also get a chance

to guess the sports star that we've hidden underneath the board.

There's no point away if you get it wrong,

but you don't get a guess at the picture.

But first of all, you need to get your questions right,

so fingers on the buzzers, here we go.

What number does the stand-off wear in rugby league?

Matt. Seven.

Six. No.

Six.

PHIL LAUGHS I've only got one job here.

I've got one job.

LAUGHTER

It's the only question, all day, I can get right

and they took it away. They took it away.

You said six, which was the right answer,

so you don't get a point, but you get to reveal number six.

Oh! So, no guess. Oh! Oh!

So, fingers back on the buzzers.

PSV Eindhoven have won the European Cup on how many occasions?

Want to take a guess?

Four.

No. Anyone going to guess?

One.

It was one, yes.

Well done, Michael. Well done.

APPLAUSE

You get the point and you get the chance to have a guess.

There we are.

Who is that? A darts player?

No, it's just a sports star.

It's not Louis van Gaal.

A sports star, anybody?

OK.

Glenn Hoddle. No, it's not.

OK. On we go.

If a World Championship boxing bout goes the distance,

how many rounds are there?

12. Yes.

Well done.

So, you get a point and the reveal...

Is that Martina?

Two different eyes, isn't it?

Martina Navratilova?

Yeah, it does. Martina? I'd go with that.

I think we'll go with Martina Navratilova.

Let's have a look.

There it is. Yes, well done. APPLAUSE

Well done, you got that very early.

That's another two points to add to your score,

which means, at the end of the round, the teams are tied -

both on 12.

APPLAUSE

We are ending the show with a Sprint Finish.

This is where the winner will be decided.

Some of the words will be based around darts, but not all of them.

So, Tuffers, we're going to ask you to go first.

Come on, come on, let's go. Come on.

CHEERING

Ready.

Take your time.

"Take your time!"

Are you ready? Your time starts now.

Mick McManus was a...

Wrestler. Yes.

Oh. Hold!

If it just hits in darts, it just hits that little bit, it's...

It's a bounce-out. The wire.

It's not in the bed....

It's on the wire. On the wire. On the wire. Yep.

Oh, in tennis, you go like that.

You're at the back of the court and you just dink one over.

A drop shot. A drop...?

Drop... Drop volley.

Yes. Yes.

Oh.

Darts player, world champion,

not one of your boys, the other boys.

Eric Bristow.

Opens the bowling for England.

Ian Botham. No.

Move over. Who's the champion at the moment in darts?

Scott Waites.

Gary Anderson. Yes. Yes.

Oh, you're driving a car on the motorway...

No, not on the motorway, on a track.

And you goes zip, zip.

Chicane. Yes! How did you...?

What's the best score in darts?

Three darts. 180. 180. Yes.

What's this? A swing.

A swing, golf swing. Yes.

Great big tall footballer.

Like that. Peter Crouch.

Yes.

LAUGHTER

What's that? It's your leg.

Yes. LAUGHTER

I played for them at cricket. Play at Lord's.

WHISTLE BLOWS Oh.

APPLAUSE

Good work. Good work.

You just ran out of time

with Middlesex.

Tim and Adrian, you were in his head,

so I'm worried for you.

I'm worried for you.

Was the next one Middlesex?

It was. I'd be worried about that, mind.

LAUGHTER

Anyway, a magnificent nine scored.

CHEERING

APPLAUSE

So, full house needed to win. Full house needed.

"Come on, Daws, let's have some of this. Come on."

APPLAUSE

HE GRUNTS Fair play.

Fair play. Ready?

Yeah. Now.

OK. Not SINGLES tennis...

Doubles. Yes. Yes.

Oh, from the tee onto the...

Chip. Green.

No, the middle bit of the golf course

and then the green.

Fairway. Yes! Yes.

Oh, America...

Baseball, a whole competition is called the...

Not the globe, what's the name for the globe?

World. Yes. World Series.

Yes. Yes. That was terrible.

Oh, right in the middle.

Bull's-eye. Yes. Yes, yes, yes.

HE CLUCKS

Chicken. Yeah.

Sort of, but they're a male version, quite strong.

Cock. LAUGHTER

Yeah, like that.

Australian.

Sam Burgess played for...

Roosters. In?

South. Main place. Big opera house.

Sydney Opera House. Yes. You got it.

Yes. Oh. What am I doing now?

Walking.

What's the opposite to off?

Running. On. There you go.

Oh.

HE WHISTLES

Full-time. Red card. Therefore, the other person...

Referee. ..got the ball on the ground. Penalty. No.

Outside the box. Free kick.

Yes.

Oh, Beth Tweddle's brilliant at this.

LAUGHTER

Gymnastics. Yes!

Not the end of the competition, but... The beginning.

WHISTLE BLOWS

APPLAUSE

So, you needed ten to win. Well...

Nine to tie. Do you think you got it?

No.

You scored...

eight, which means Phil's team are the winners today.

APPLAUSE

INAUDIBLE

A huge thank you to all of our guests,

and make sure you catch the darts on the BBC over the weekend.

Catch the darts, Sue?

That's dangerous.

LAUGHTER

Well, watch the darts, then,

on the BBC over the weekend.

It's probably a better way to say it.

The three of us will be back very soon.

Until then, from all of us here, goodbye.

APPLAUSE