Paddy McGuinness' Sport Relief Warm-Up Sport Relief

Britain, Sport Relief needs you

to come together, get active,

raise money and change lives.

This year we are calling on the whole nation to make

a billion steps a day every day across the week of Sport Relief

and we've got just the guy to warm you up for the job.

Join one man and his collection of Lycra, as he launches the week

of Sport Relief with an epic journey from his home to MediaCity,

home of this year's Sport Relief.

It'll be inspirational.

It'll be emotional.

But, most of all, it will be very, very...

How-do?

..northern.

Keep that warm for me.

Welcome to the show.

I'm going to be doing my bit for this amazing

cause by walking from home all the way to Sport Relief HQ.

It's not going to be easy.

Well, not in this weather.

It's just going to be me, you and about two inches of snow.

Right, which way is it? That way?

Can we just not get Clare Balding to do this? It's ridiculous!

What a plonker!

Join me on my warm up for Sport Relief.

Along the way I'll be looking at inspirational moments

of sporting heroes past and present...

Done. Snowdon.

..giving sneaky peeks of what to expect on the big night...

-That's how you do it.

-Andy!

..plus taking a look back at some Sport Relief gold.

Oh, shut up, you tart!

So let's get cracking with some of my all-time favourite

Sport Relief sketches.

I'm Petra and I'm a lady.

Who could forget Smithy's rousing speech at Sports Personality

of the Year?

Oh, there's Sue Barker going above and beyond for charity again.

You lot, you need to get back to basics.

Remember who you are, what you are, what you stand for!

Can we win the World Cup? Yes, we can.

Can we win at Wimbledon? Yes, we can.

Can we win at the Olympics, and I'm talking proper medals,

not just swimming and cycling, ones that actually count.

Basically, running.

Yes, we can!

Can we do this, people of Britain?

Can we?

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

-Can we do this, Jenson Button?

-Yes, we can!

Can we do this, David Haye?

Yes, we can!

Can we do this, Kriss Akabusi?

Yes, we can!

Don't believe in your agents.

Don't believe in your managers.

Don't believe in your publicists.

Believe in yourselves because we believe in you,

and together, if we unite,

we can make Britain great once more!

Thank you! Thank you!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Come on! Come on!

Ooh, it brought a tear to my eye, that did.

Next up we have the legend that is Frank Spencer,

alongside some famous faces.

# I want to ride my bicycle. #

So if you just tell Ringo that I won't be able to get there.

BELL RINGS

Get out!

Sorry!

Bloody kids!

Excuse me!

Hey, watch out! Arsene, can you believe that?

I can't comment. I didn't see.

Frank even re-enacted a classic Spencer moment.

Ooh, some mothers do 'ave 'em!

Ooh, here we go again.

I've got some change this time.

Sport Relief brought the Trotters back

for a very special sketch in 2014 with a celebrity guest.

We are currently lumbered with 200 pairs of men's pants

that some git has scribbled over.

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

What you looking at me for? You asked me to sign them.

And if I asked you go out into the high street wearing a sarong,

-would you?

-Well...

-It's all right, David, he's not blaming you. Are you, Del?

-Yes.

All right, he IS blaming you.

I just don't know what the world is coming to, really I don't.

Here I am, an ex-multi-millionaire...

"Ex" being the operative word.

Yeah, and I've got you with two GCEs

and a footballing legend who makes Boycie look like pauper

and we can't flog a pair of pants between us.

-Boxer briefs.

-What?

They're boxer briefs.

-What are?

-The pants.

That's what I said.

What is he on about?

I'm just glad that we're not in that Dragons' Den

cos gawd knows what Alex Sugar would have made of all this.

If was your idea to have Rodney model them.

Oh, so it's my fault now, is it?

Look, I didn't want to wear the stupid bloody things

in the first place!

Oh, shut up, you tart!

It wasn't just the catchphrases though.

Are you David Beckham?

I am, but don't tell anyone.

-I don't want to draw any attention to myself, all right?

-OK.

Beckham even borrowed some of Del Boy's trademark moves.

LAUGHTER

-BOTH:

-What a plonker!

THEME FROM ONLY FOOLS AND HORSES

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

David Beckham there with a couple of Trotters.

Not actual trotters. He never got them in his football boots.

Anyway, after that,

you might be asking yourself how do you get one of the most famous

and successful athletes in the world to step completely out of his

comfort zone and agree to give us all a good laugh for Sport Relief?

And the answer is we just turn up in his bedroom in the middle

of the night unannounced and give him the shock of his life.

Easy...

..and a little bit stalkerish.

Andy!

-Oh...

-BLEEP!

-Welcome...

-Oh,

-BLEEP

-hell!

..to the Sport Relief midnight game show!

BLEEP

With Sir Andy Murray!

-Morning, Andy. How are you, mate?

-Oh, my God!

Right, Andy, from your favourite TV show, please identify this person.

Who is it?

That's er...

I'm going to have to take your first answer on this.

-That's Daddy Pig.

-That is Daddy Pig!

Well done, that's brilliant.

Daddy Pig gets a high five.

Well done. Thank you, Daddy Pig.

There goes Daddy Pig.

Michael McIntyre there with Sir Andy Murray,

who may or may not sleep soundly in his bed ever again.

In fact, am I dreaming or is that a lady in a tree?

You all right there, my love?

I'm all in a tangle.

I know what's happened here.

She's been inspired by Gareth Thomas's skydiving. Right, come on.

Right, while I sort this out, let's take a look at Gareth Thomas

and his gang of OAPs proving that, when it comes to Sport Relief,

the sky really is the limit.

Come on. That's it, Norma.

It's like Fifty Shades of Grey, this, isn't it?

Literally.

Gareth "Alfie" Thomas. He's a living legend with a lifetime of firsts.

The first Welsh rugby player to win 100 caps.

And now, for Sport Relief, comes his biggest challenge yet,

as Alfie Thomas attempts to become the first sports star with 100 caps

to try and persuade a gang of OAPs to jump out of a plane with him

from 12,000 feet.

For a trailblazer like Alfie, a hard man with a never-say-die attitude,

the man who captained the British Lions has suffered

over 40 broken bones.

This sky-dive challenge should be as easy as strapping on a parachute

and yelling, "Go, go, go!"

Except there's a problem.

-You want me to go up a ladder?!

-Start with a small ladder.

We'll start with a step ladder.

-Ooh!

-BLEEP

A very, very big problem actually...

-BLEEP

-...hell!

Now try and be logical about it, OK?

..because six-foot-four Alfie is so scared of heights

he gets vertigo looking down at his own feet.

And if Alfie think's HE'S got a problem,

his novice silver skydivers face even greater challenges.

I have Parkinson's, but Parkinson's is not going to have me.

-Are you not scared by it?

-I've never been up in a plane.

-No way?

I'm terrified. If Gareth's scared, everyone can be scared, surely?

Oh, my God!

So, can captain Alfie lead from the front, take one for the team,

and overcome his acrophobia...

-Oh...

-BLEEP

-BLEEP BLEEP

-I can't stop moving!

-I can't stop

-BLEEP

-moving!

..in time for his Sport Relief challenge to take flight?

-Oh...

-BLEEP

It'll take some cajoling...

..some bottle...

Oh, I feel sick!

..and hands-on help from the world's oldest female skydiver...

Feel the fear and do it anyway.

..to get Alfie and his OAP posse anywhere near the runway.

So strap yourselves in, adopt the brace position

and prepare for a bumpy ride as we join...

Lady GaGa, eat your heart out!

..Gareth Thomas's silver skydivers for Sport Relief.

And you can see how they got on on Friday.

Now, before I embarked on this epic journey, I told myself,

"Paddy, preparation is key."

So I got myself a nice spinach and wheatgrass smoothie.

Proper nutrition.

While I get this down me, why don't we take a look at the amazing

challenges our favourite celebs have completed over the years.

Cheers!

-DIRECTOR:

-Cut.

Muck!

We're still filming, aren't we?

Lions have been spotted in the area.

What are you frightened of? You know some people have to think about it?

I always just say water.

I'm doing this on behalf of all the portly middle-aged women

in the country.

You just hear boof-boof-boof!

It's like being in a horrendous funfair ride.

The river is waiting and you are coming with me.

HE LAUGHS

Mate, looking fantastic.

-Yeah, how many? How many are there?

-Three.

-Wow!

I'm beginning to feel heat on this cheek.

DOON SINGS

Doon is trying to attract the dolphins

and I think we've scared them off.

I've lost contact with my face.

-Have you got me?

-You're safe as houses.

She's starting to fly now.

Now we start to believe that she could truly make this challenge.

Is there going to be any more Little Britain?

Right, well, carry on.

Sarah, Yvonne, get out and get your spray guns going.

Just get them going.

So those are some of the epic challenges we've seen in the past

and this year's no different.

We've got celebs doing all sorts.

In fact, I'm about to climb Ben Nevis.

You all right, Ben?

He's a big lad. It'll take some work.

Right, up we go.

How's Mrs Nevis these days, all right?

Get me on. That's him.

That's it. Are you wearing perfume?

A lovely smell.

Novice cyclist Zoe Ball has rode all the way from Blackpool to Brighton

in five days to raise awareness for mental health.

That's 350 miles!

Definitely deserves fish and chips either side.

I lost my boyfriend last year, Billy,

and I really wanted to be able to do something

and find some hope for people who are living with mental illness.

It's been quite an incredible journey.

Definitely more intense than yesterday.

-My body's starting to feel it.

-Keep going, Zoe!

With Sport Relief, it's about lifting people out of poverty,

helping people with mental health,

trying to make the world a slightly better place.

Some of the hills that Zoe's going to be facing today

are going to be a real challenge.

We've had the fall.

I think my body's pretty weak today, but still smiling.

I came to do the cycle because the conversation about mental

health is a very important one

and I absolutely love Zoe.

CHEERING

Come on, let's do this. Let's go home.

We've actually done it. I am over the moon.

To raise over half a million pounds, it's just fantastic.

Despite being 37 years of age, Scottish TV presenter

Des Clarke had never ever learned to drive a car, ride a bike or swim.

So Sport Relief decided it was about time Des gave each of them a try.

SHE LAUGHS

They've called it a TRY-athlon.

TRY-athl... Well, I thought it were clever.

Two feet, two feet.

Des has had to face his fears

and master these life skills quickly in the toughest way possible.

I can't believe that.

That's further than I can drive.

His mission included an off-road drive in the Scottish Highlands...

-We're going to do it!

-Brake!

-Yes!

-Let me out!

THEY LAUGH

..a velodrome bike ride with Sir Chris Hoy...

Here we go. Two feet. You're all right, you're all right.

I can cycle...ish!

..and a nice cold swim in Loch Ness.

He's swimming, everybody. Come and see it.

He's gone three metres.

-Shout him all the way in.

-That's it, Des. Keep going!

Give him a cheer. He's done.

THEY CHEER

We've done it! Yeah!

Alex Jones and a group of inspiring mums have just done

the mother of all challenges.

They spent five days completing five punishing challenges

to raise money and awareness

for important issues around maternal health.

It all started with a swim across Loch Ness.

-The key here is to focus on the scenery.

-It's cold, mind.

Let's think of the positives.

Rather you than me!

This must be worth 50 quid, just getting a wet suit on.

I feel like I'm walking to the gallows, honestly.

In a relay format, they're going to swim about a mile.

-I'm just nervous about it.

-So you should be.

Have you never heard the rumours?

To Loch Ness and any monsters who live in her, let's go.

THEY CHEER

Oh, you have then.

THEY CHEER

Well done, Alex.

Whoo!

I'm just so relieved. I was just like, go-go-go-go.

Other challenges, including scaling Helvellyn

and a gruelling bike ride through the Lake District.

Well done, girls.

Greg James has taken on another Gregathlon - catchy! -

battling all the elements to climb Britain's three highest peaks

and cycle the distance between them.

It is unbelievably cold.

Done, Snowdon.

Need to get down and then get on the bike.

That's the worst weather we've ever had. A big challenge.

Scafell Pike, done.

But it was the Beast from the East that got him

and his final ascent up Ben Nevis had to be put on hold.

It's too dangerous to go

and they've had to call it off.

But, not to be defeated, Greg waited for the Beast to go back to the East

and finally cracked on with Ben Nevis on Friday.

Persistence pays off, eh, Greg?

There you have it.

Greg, Zoe, Alex and Des all pushing themselves to the absolute limit

for Sport Relief,

but not everyone will be running themselves

into the ground this year.

In fact, this next lot, including myself, will be

doing their bit for Sport Relief sat down.

Speaking of sitting down, I'm going to need one myself after this.

Look at me. I'm sweating bullets.

It's not happening, Norma, love.

You're going to have to ring the fire brigade.

Look at the state of my nails.

All right down there, Ben?

Stay steady, son.

Eh? What's wrong with you?

Team QS, name the programme.

THEY BEATBOX MATCH OF THE DAY THEME

APPLAUSE

I have a feeling they're going to get on the scoreboard.

So the sports experts get on the scoreboard by recognising

the theme tune to Match Of The Day?

LAUGHTER

That's pretty much it.

You could walk out of this studio now and stop anybody else...

And when the lads were doing it,

Matt was like, "Yeah, I know it! I know it!"

LAUGHTER

We ALL know it, Matt!

For the record, can you say the name, please, Denise?

-Match Of The Day.

-Right, well done. So one point.

-One point!

-APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

OK, Team Sport Relief, back to you.

What sport is associated with this?

Come on, lads.

PLAYING RHYTHM

# Bum-bum-bum, ba-dum, ba-dum, bum-bum

# Da-da, dum-dum-dum Ba-dum, ba-dum, bum-bum...

KAZOO PLAYS

# Da-da, da-da, da-da-dah... #

ALL CONTINUE TUNE

Oh!

We've not a clue. LAUGHTER

I'm very much looking forward to that on the night.

I wonder who won. Oh, hang on a minute, I was there.

I already know.

Ben, hang on, son.

I'm going to need a minute. Two hours I've been up here.

Two hours! Takes it out of the old arms.

Oh, nice one.

It's the lactic acid what gets you.

Right, I know what you're thinking.

I look like a man who's not putting myself out there,

but you'd be wrong, because I have done, my friend,

and I've done it in Lycra. Take a look at this.

Sport Relief's Clash of the Titans,

where two celebrity teams went head-to-head in the most gripping

and Lycra-clad Olympic sporting challenges.

Sit back and enjoy my top ten moments from the past few years.

In at ten, it's majestic Scouser John Bishop.

# I predict a riot... #

-COMMENTATOR:

-And here he comes.

Lovely ribbon work there, Bish.

Mesmerising.

Dropping a place and dropping his pants at number nine,

it's Olly Murs.

Style it out, Olly, lad. Style it out.

Patrick Kielty's making a splash at numero eight.

-COMMENTATOR:

-Ooh!

Well, an interesting start there from Patrick Kielty.

Greg James channelling his inner Apprentice at number seven.

-COMMENTATOR:

-And we're building up to the big lift.

Watch as they prepare to push him out of the water.

Not sure Alan would be too impressed though, Greg.

Mind you, he never really is.

With a body almost as good as mine, it's Harry Judd in at number six.

All right, Harry, put it away, son. No-one likes a show-off.

At number five, John Bishop takes Lord Coe for a swim.

Oh, no!

Seb Coe into the pool.

Huge congratulations as well...

Oh, schoolboy error there, John.

I think we may be here for some time.

Taking fourth place,

Olly Murs is back again for dedication to a high five.

Oh-ho! Let's take a look at that again.

Awkward!

In at three, it's Tameka Empson surprising everyone

with her splitting finish.

Takes me back to Magaluf.

-COMMENTATOR:

-Oh, fantastic split!

Here it comes...

What style!

And just missing out on the top spot at number two,

it's the sassiest diva in comedy, Russell Kane.

-COMMENTATOR:

-And we're going to go for the lift here.

The girls can't touch the bottom of the pool.

And, again, trying to get those legs synchronised,

not quite as pointed as they could have been.

But taking number one spot, who do you think?

-COMMENTATOR:

-Who will be the finest freestyler?

It's yours truly,

about to get robbed by Harry Judd on national TV.

-Points for dancing on?

-Looking good in his blue there.

And, in a way, isn't looking good more important than winning?

Harry Judd, 12 years his junior.

He's got that time, he's got that pace. Tries to aim low.

-He's in a bit of trouble now...

-No, no, he's good.

He's going low, but he's holding on.

So, what Paddy McGuinness is doing here now is just holding on,

holding on, holding his points.

And killing the clock there successfully.

This is an absolute swizz, this.

I don't think I can watch any more.

You could cut the atmosphere here with a knife...

And cut.

I said cut!

Harry Judd goes for him again.

And he's going to get the takedown point.

See, a small man wins against a bigger man.

Harry Judd wins.

Still haunts me, that Lycra.

And that concludes your top ten moments.

I know you all love a celebrity head-to-head,

so this year, celebrity boxing is back and we've not one,

but three live bouts on Sport Relief night.

And it's not been easy thus far.

I'm really nervous!

I agreed to do this on a whim.

I was like, "Yeah, fine, of course I will!"

The training is tough.

I've got to be completely honest.

That's better.

I literally could barely move

the day after my last training session.

Good. Better.

A lot of anger there.

I know I have a great opponent.

Maybe we can be friends after it's all over.

-What I'm most worried about?

-SHE LAUGHS

Getting hit in the face!

It's a bit of a shock to the system.

The way we train is pretty intense.

It's just hard. Every day is hard.

I'd go back to being a footballer all day long.

You get paid for doing that.

More power!

I think we're all confident.

Don't know if I'm just speaking for myself there.

But I'm certainly confident.

Feeling really angry. Just want to get in there and smash his face in.

No, to be honest, most of my family

think I need my head knocking against a wall.

I obviously knew boxing was really difficult anyway,

but this is so intense.

I'm absolutely knackered.

No pain, no gain, as they say.

Everyone's like, "You need to give fighting talk,"

but, like, I don't want to do that because I don't know her,

so it is going to be really strange when we finally meet.

If we can just avoid each other, then I won't find it

so difficult in the ring to...

Bosh!

Well, that will definitely be worth tuning in to.

S Club 7 or the Saturdays, eh?

I wouldn't like to meet either of them down a dark alley.

Our celebrities are seriously pushing themselves to the limits

and it's all for a very good cause,

so please remember to donate.

Every penny we raise together will go towards helping people like this.

Sport, it has, it's always been my life.

Football was... Has been my life.

I was a centre forward for...

Oof! Huddersfield, Blackburn, Rotherham,

Brighton, Lincoln, Bradford...

You run out onto the pitch.

It was, oh, you know,

to hear the crowd chanting your name was fantastic. It was...

In the day, they used to sing that...

# Gilly, Gilly Ossenfeffer Katzenellen Bogen by the Sea... #

When you score, it's just...

There's no better feeling.

I can remember everything about the football,

but I can't remember what I did yesterday.

Gilly was diagnosed with vascular dementia

and degenerative dementia in 2011.

His short-term memory is very, very poor.

By the time I get out of the house

and I get to the end of the road, I think, where am I going?

And I forget I was only going to the fish shop

to get some fish and chips or something,

but by the time I get there, I've forgotten.

And it's only 100 yards.

Not being able to do things

that most people are doing,

not being able to do it any more is frustrating, yeah.

I get angry as well sometimes and I can just... Aye...

All alone. I wouldn't wish it on anybody, really.

Gilly goes to the Alzheimer's Society Face It Together group.

They discuss different ways to empower people to do more things

when you have dementia because it can be very isolating.

It's really hard, because I've lost my pal.

Erm...

You... It's not a normal life.

It's like...

It's like you're grieving for somebody

because you've lost them but they're still there.

Your money can help people living with dementia

to feel part of a community again.

For people like Gilly and Christine living with dementia,

projects that use Sport Relief cash are a lifeline

and your donations make a real difference.

You can donate right now...

Please give what you can.

So, already tonight we've seen loads of brilliant people

doing loads of brilliant things for Sport Relief.

And this year's no different because in 2018,

we've even got the Royals involved.

In fact, one of them is helping me out right now.

Before you get too excited, it's not Her Majesty.

She's still worn out from her spinning class this morning.

But I did give this fella a call

and he said he'd be delighted to join in.

Plus, with four legs, that's twice as many steps.

You all right down there, Your High... Lowness?

He doesn't speak much.

Right, anyway, here's what happened when a real member

of the Royal family did something very special for Sport Relief.

Go on. Sausages down there.

Get some sausages.

Rugby can teach you an awful lot of things.

Leadership, teamwork, respect, discipline.

A project like Try For Change is so important

because it does exactly what it says on the tin.

It's trying to change people's lives through rugby.

In 2016, England Rugby partnered with Sport Relief to launch

the Try For Change fund supporting projects in England

and across the world that use rugby to change lives.

The young people that we work with are lads, basically,

that will spend their evenings on the streets quite a lot.

Don't really have any adult supervision or support at all.

Being involved in Try For Change

definitely changed me for the better.

I was a lot less active.

Never really left my bed for anything.

What we've looked to try and do is engage some of the socially excluded

and slightly disadvantaged children from around the area to use rugby,

especially as a tool to instil those various beliefs of confidence,

communication, leadership, teamwork, things like that.

It's helped me just improving my leadership skills. I used to be

led by someone, but now I can lead other people.

England Rugby have invited a number of Try For Change beneficiaries

down to Twickenham for a very special experience.

Meeting Prince Harry was surreal.

Really nice, down to earth guy.

-HARRY:

-It's very easy to be shy and quite reserved as a kid growing up,

and then all of a sudden, who would have thought that sport,

specifically rugby in this case,

being smashed on the pitch and having an understanding of those

values where you can shake hands afterwards and then you probably -

not at your age - but maybe go to a bar afterwards

and have a little chat and those are friends for life.

He was talking about when he was younger he used to play it

and it used to, like, help him focus.

It was really good to hear how we're doing something similar to him.

Not many people get to have what we've just done.

I'm feeling honoured even though that sounds really cheesy.

I feel very honoured. It's a once-in-a-lifetime thing.

Prince Harry there, what a guy!

Definitely my favourite Prince.

Speaking of favourites...

Is that Chris Kamara ballroom dancing on a bridge?

Kammy! What you doing?

Just doing a few turns, Paddy.

We did a Strictly dance-off at Wembley.

Lovely stuff! Did you win?

I doubt it.

You're going to have to wait and see it on the night.

Let's have a look at Kammy and the rest of the Strictly gang

putting their best foot forward for Sport Relief.

Hey, he's going to love this.

Unbelievable!

He didn't like it.

Tonight, three legends from the world of football

swap their boots for ballroom as they bid to get their hands

on a prize more coveted than the World Cup.

It's the Sport Relief glitter ball trophy!

-So, are you ready for kick off?

-ALL:

-Yes!

WHISTLE

# Love's got the world in motion

# And I know what we can do

# Love's got the world in motion

# And I can't believe it's true... #

Mr John Barnes.

# You've got to hold and give

# But do it at the right time... #

It was a complete dance disaster, I'm afraid, darling.

# They'll always hit you and hurt you... #

You have worked so hard. That was a fabulous routine.

-OK, OK!

-Stop.

-ORE:

-Oh, my goodness me!

Well, they think it's all over.

It is now!

Up and down the country, everyone's getting involved

for Sport Relief 2018,

including your familiar local BBC faces.

You can push it, pull it, carry it, drag it.

You've got eight days to do it.

Starting with BBC Look North Yorkshire's Harry, Paul and Amy

training for their Sport Relief challenge where they will be pulling

their distinctive red sofa to various locations across Yorkshire.

I'll know who to call when I'm next moving house.

Here's David Garmston and Alex Lovell kicking balls

as part of BBC Points West's

rugby kicking conversion challenge.

Now, that's how you celebrate in the West Country!

I did it!

I'm going to be doing some kayaking.

The plan is that I'm going to kayak

the River Medway from Tonbridge to Allington,

a distance of some 19 miles.

Try and do it all in one day.

It's a bit of a departure for me.

Ah, don't put yourself down, Rob!

You've got the whole of the south-east behind you.

And at least they've given you a proper boat...

..unlike poor Peter Levy

from BBC Look North Yorkshire and Lincolnshire.

How's he going to kayak the Humber in that?

Give the brother a chance!

In February, BBC East Midlands weather presenter Anna Church

learned to climb and scaled over 40 metres for Sport Relief.

How's the weather up there, Anna?

Along the way, it's you, the brilliant British public

who cheered our celebs on, kept them company

and made them laugh through the hard times.

Jo Brand there, who walked the width of England.

Hey, Jo!

-Do you want this?

-I'd love it.

It'll only take you six miles and then you'll need to recharge.

Six miles would do me.

Shame she didn't give her a lift.

David Williams enlisted Radio 1 DJ Scott Mills to play

his favourite song to spur him on while doing his swim of the Thames.

Are you going to play ABBA for me today?

Erm... ABBA?

You know, you keep on saying you're going to play a song for me and

it always just is the songs that you want

and never the ones that I want.

It's just the ones on the playlist, really, Dave.

I bet you like Dancing Queen by ABBA.

It's probably the best song ever recorded.

It's a brilliant pop song.

You know it was written about me?

-Yes.

-LAUGHTER

DANCING QUEEN OVER PHONE

# You can dance

# You can jive... #

Not sure how dressing like a Smurf helps you swim though, David.

# See that girl

# Watch that scene

# Digging the dancing queen... #

Hello. Do you want to give me that baby?

Oh, I'd love to.

Classic campaign move there - hold a stranger's baby!

He'll make Prime Minister one day, Walliams. Watch this space.

Bye!

Eddie Izzard here on his 15th marathon

in his Marathon Man challenge.

When he got to Liverpool,

he was joined by two young lads on his amazing adventure.

It's really touching stuff, this.

He's brilliant!

We'll follow you as much as we can and support you.

Well, that's good, thank you.

I gave Eddie £2 out of my dinner money

because we don't need it as much as he needs it.

Dylan, thanks very much. That's brilliant.

When people came unexpectedly, that was the best thing

and the two kids who cycled with me and they kept saying

they wanted to go further, they wanted to go all the way.

Their mum has said, yeah, it's fine as long as they're safe.

We found two crash helmets, we found two hi-viz jackets.

That adventurous spirit is great.

That's what the country needs.

And I just thought, if I was a kid, I would have loved that.

MUSIC: Dog Days Are Over by Florence and the Machine

Dylan there just is in a world of his own. He's not even tired!

Are you feeling tired?

Yeah, I'm knackered!

Yeah, it's getting tough, this.

We're only at...

..17 miles.

Just pretend there's a massive pepperoni pizza at the end.

This is the furthest I've ever been as well.

I think this is well furthest.

I'm going to tell my mum tonight that it's well been

the best day I could ever have.

Eddie there with two young lads who were little rays of sunshine.

Not ideal for Eddie, though.

We know what he's like with The Sun.

Now, apparently not everything that's happening for Sport Relief

will be in the right spirit because I've just read that

the BBC and ITV will be using this as an excuse to have a massive row.

Now, I can see it now.

"Oh, Strictly's better than X Factor!"

"Corrie's better than EastEnders!"

"Ooh! Gary's got more hair than Dermot."

I mean, this is absolutely the wrong time to be rowing.

Paddy, mate, we're not rowing.

We're rowing!

That explains it, Emmerdale's Chris Bisson.

Now then, BBC and ITV...

Who's looking the strongest?

Because, to be honest, I'm a bit split these days.

I've got to say, I think BBC are the favourites.

ITV are the underdogs.

Hey, but you've got to back yourself, Paddy.

You've got to back yourself! Thank you very much, Chris.

I can't wait.

Here's a little preview of what we've got to look forward to.

Come on, Chris. Stick your oar in, son. The canteen shuts in an hour.

Off we go. That's it.

TV's biggest broadcasters are going head-to-head

in our Sport Relief rowing challenge.

It's the BBC versus ITV in Clash of the Channels.

Which way do we go?

We have to go backwards, don't we?

I'm not good with that!

Never rowed before.

But the one thing I have in my favour is...

No, I haven't got anything in my favour at all.

I'm representing Good Morning Britain.

I'm going to be going head-to-head

with Dan from BBC Breakfast.

I just don't want to fall in the water.

Catching a crab is when the blade gets caught in the water,

and the blade handle can hit you in the chest quite hard.

SCREAMING

So that's at drifting speed.

At racing speed...

The BBC are talking about it quite a lot,

but with limited time, actions speak greater than words.

Try and row in time. It will be a lot easier.

Actually, the ITV boat looks likely.

They've just gone to all eight.

They're rowing reasonably well in time. That's a big step forward.

Really good, guys!

The BBC just started rowing all eight.

They're 15 minutes behind ITV.

Now, that doesn't sound very much,

but when you've only got one training session before the race,

that is important.

It's the technique that I couldn't grasp. Sorry!

I was rubbish!

We started off a bit ropey, but then towards the end,

I feel like we can go out there and cause some damage on the water.

I think it's about 50-50 at the moment,

so it's in their hands for the next six weeks.

Find out how they get on on Friday.

Hoo-hoo! Getting cold now.

I tell you what, these celebs don't half

put themselves through it for charity.

Those boat seats weren't even cushioned.

Now, on a serious note, the challenges our celebrities

take for Sport Relief can be extremely testing and dangerous.

Here's a reminder of just how tough things have been in the past.

Our Sport Relief celebrities are amazing individuals

who take their patronage of this brilliant cause to another level.

It's inspiring, it's motivating

and they truly are the Sport Relief celebrity heroes.

In 2016, Eddie Izzard ran 27 marathons in 27 days

in the blistering heat of South Africa.

After an early setback, he found himself a whole marathon

behind schedule, so determined Eddie

decided to do two marathons in a day.

Two minutes to spare.

HE GROANS

-My legs are on fire.

-Yeah, no, no...

-The back of my legs.

-CRIES OUT IN PAIN

-Relax, relax, relax.

BLEEP

GROANING

What happened there was you saw an exact example

of the brain letting go and suddenly giving him all the information

about what was going on.

Well, it's just like your feet are in two furnaces.

He's an enigma.

I don't know how he does it, but he just did what he needs to do to

get anywhere close to being able to do what he'll need to do on Sunday.

God, that's so hot.

In 2014, Davina McCall completed seven days of cycling,

swimming and running across the UK.

But her epic swim in open water pushed her beyond breaking point.

It's going to be good, it's going to be good.

It's all right, mate.

-Are we going to be OK?

-You're going to be absolutely fine, mate.

You are going to be absolutely fine, I'm telling you, OK?

OK? Ready?

Three, two, one, let's go.

I can't breathe.

It's too tight.

-NARRATOR:

-Only 60 metres out

and Davina's anxiety is overwhelming her.

-Are we going to get there?

-We are, we are!

As her front crawl get weaker, she feels like she's getting nowhere.

Greg knows that if she doesn't keep moving, Davina's core temperature

will drop, which could put her at risk of hypothermia.

Come on, Davina!

With just metres to go, Greg and the safety team close in.

Go on, Davina!

CHEERS AND SHOUTS

Not much further!

Somehow, Davina makes it to the jetty,

but it's taken every bit of energy she had.

John Bishop had seven days of hell

as he cycled, rowed and ran over 290 miles from Paris to London.

For sleep-deprived John, the rowing almost became too much.

Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa...

You OK?

Are you all right?

JB, how are you feeling?

I'm hallucinating.

I'm not surprised.

I'm talking to a dolphin.

But his biggest challenge was yet to come -

an 82-mile run to London in three days.

-Whenever you... Oh,

-BLEEP!

-You OK?

That's more than a marathon a day

and his body really struggled to cope.

I was very sick last night

because apparently what happens is your body,

if you over-exercise, starts reacting and starts rejecting food.

He's struggling.

Really, really struggling, actually, now.

I just find it quite upsetting.

I've never seen him...

I've seen him tired and very stressed,

but this is just something...

This is just complete exhaustion, isn't it?

One of the things that we're worried about

and the doc's worried about, in particular, is whether actually

there's a hairline fracture in that bone, in the shin bone itself,

because that can happen with stress.

And the amount of stress that he has undertaken in that leg...

Ow!

And that is very, very bad news

because that is quite a serious injury.

It could stop him.

But he didn't stop and he made it to the finish line.

Go on, Johnny boy!

Oh!

Ooh!

Talk about milking it.

I've walked all the way from our house

and I've picked up after a corgi.

Where's my hero's welcome?

Nowhere.

As ever, Sport Relief will be loads of fun this year

with lots of amazing stuff to look forward to,

but remember, it's all happening for an important reason.

Every penny we raise together will go towards helping people

here and around the world who really need our support.

Tom Daley recently went to Malawi to meet people

working on the front line in the fight against malaria.

This is a tough film to watch,

but we hope you'll watch it to see just how important your cash is.

Here in Malawi in 2016,

20 children under five died from malaria every day.

It's really sad to walk through this ward and see kids that should be

running around and playing outside and having fun.

They're kids. They're just kids.

And they don't need to be suffering like this.

Five-month-old Aisha has been in hospital for three days

with severe malaria and her condition is critical.

What is happening at the moment?

So, in this case, she's very sick.

Very concerned.

But we will do as much as we can to help.

Malaria is treatable, but for many of the kids I saw,

it hadn't been spotted early enough.

But there is a way we can help speed up diagnosis.

I'm at a rural health clinic which, for most parents,

is the first port of call

when their child falls extremely ill with suspected malaria.

Malaria can be difficult to accurately diagnose

without expensive equipment like microscopes,

but health workers here are using a game-changing rapid test.

Billiam's baby Lexa has suspected malaria.

Why, in particular, in rural areas like this

is it so important to have these tests?

And a lot of lives have been saved.

We cannot say how many, but many.

The test result comes back in just 15 minutes.

It's a miracle really they're able to test

and now that baby can recover.

Lexa is one of the lucky ones.

She got her malaria diagnosed early enough to have the best

chance of recovering quickly

and it's all thanks to one of these plastic miracles.

And these kits are the difference between life and death,

so please give what you can today.

Your money has helped us make huge strides in the fight

against malaria in some of the world's poorest countries,

but in countries like Africa,

a child still dies from this horrible disease every two minutes.

And that's where you come in.

Your money will make a difference and maybe save a life.

Please, please, please give whatever you can tonight

to help us beat malaria.

Get involved by taking part in the Billion Steps Challenge

or by making a donation.

Better still, why not do both?

You can even donate online at bbc.co.uk/sportrelief.

However you do it, please do it.

It really will make a massive difference to people's lives.

Oh, here's someone else doing their bit for Sport Relief.

-It's Sam Quek. You all right, Sam?

-Yeah, good, thanks.

How are you? You look a bit tired and stiff.

I've been on my feet all day for Sport Relief.

You know, charity. But I don't like to talk about it.

Anyhow, what are you up to?

Just playing a little bit of football for Friday.

We're playing 12 hours of nonstop football right here on the piazza.

-It's going to be amazing.

-I like it.

Well, as I say, I have been on my feet all day

and the old quadrastrings are getting a bit tight.

-That's a quadricep, that.

-That's him.

But I think I can do a bit of keepie-uppies.

-You fancy a keepie-uppie challenge?

-Yeah.

Go on, do you want to go first?

All right, pass it here. The old keepie-uppies.

That was at least ten seconds.

You've got no chance.

Speaking of incredible football talent, here's a man with none,

but that hasn't stopped him bagging a role on the England coaching team.

You've got no chance, Quek.

Right, where's that magic sponge? Come on.

Here's John with Jonny Wilkinson giving Harry Kane

some penalty advice.

No, no, no. You've got it all wrong.

-It went in, though.

-Yeah...

Let me show you.

# Swing low

# Sweet chariot... #

-COMMENTATOR:

-Jonny Wilkinson...

He's done it!

That's how you do it.

-You just put it over by a mile.

-Yeah.

That's how I won a World Cup, though, with England.

OK.

Yes!

-Yes, that was much better. That's the one.

-Sure?

Yeah, it's good.

Oh...

Oh!

Hah...

Phew!

John Bishop there hoping to relive the single greatest moment

in English football history, unless you count the time

they had pasties on a three for two offer at Bolton Wanderers.

Which will take some beating.

And you can see more of that on the big night itself

and it'll all be happening right here because...

I've made it to Sport Relief HQ!

Yes!

So we're all set for another epic Sport Relief this Friday.

We'll be here live from 7pm on BBC One.

Right, after all that walking,

I'm going to need a bit of a lie down, so I'm going to leave you with

a look back at some of the best ever moments

in Sport Relief history.

I'll see you on Friday.

Right, there's my room, all the way up there.

HE SIGHS

It's at least ten storeys.

How am I going to get up there?

Ben...

Ben!

In you get. Come on, what's wrong with you?

I'm knackered!

There you are, there's a good lad.

That's it.

And put your face straight.

You get none of this off Davina.

Right, off you go. Avante.

Up we go, that's it.

One foot in front of the other, son, we'll get there.

# Hold up, no, you didn't bow, bow

# I ain't the chick to walk behind you round town

# Just cos you're packin', packin', whoop, down south

# That don't mean I'm ever gonna take it laying down, baby... #

What a plonker.

# I'll be catching fire, gasoline when I do it... #

Come on, dears, let's go play.

# That don't mean I'm ever gonna take it laying down

# Baby, you're the man

# But I got the, I got the, I got the power

# You make rain... #

And here comes Freddie Flintoff with a sprint on the inside!

# I'm the one who's in control

# I'll let you come take the wheel long as you don't forget... #

Absolutely knackered.

Championship point.

I could really do with a poo.

Come here.

Hold up! 25 million.

# My turn

# I make this look easy Tick-tick-boom like gasoline-y

# Yeah they call me, Lamborghini Cos I know just what I'm worth

# Z-z-zero to hundred B-b-body make 'em stutter

# Start my engine, push the button Cos I'm gon' be coming first

# Yeah, I'm a machine when I do it

# I'll be catching fire... #

Do give generously, whatever your denomination.

# That don't mean I'm ever gonna take it laying down

# Baby, you're the man

# But I got the, I got the, I got the power... #

He's brilliant!

# You make rain

# But I'll make it, I'll make it, I'll make it shower

# You should know

# I'm the one who's in control... #

Goodbye, Doris.

# I'll let you come take the wheel

# Long as you don't forget... #

51 million!

You're brilliant!

Hugh Dennis is down.

The White House is painted which colour?

Pass.

WHITE!

# Cos I got the, I got the, I got the power... #