10/01/2014 The One Show

For thousands of years, fire breathing dragon roamed the Earth

destroying everything. It was heading for the one show studio!

Until 14 brave knights in shining armour came to the rescue. You all

right, Al? Not really, no! That took one hour, just so you

know. Was it worth it? It took two, to be honest. Welcome to the one

show with Chris Evans and Alex Jones. No dragons were harmed in the

making of that. She is called Elsie and she is gorgeous. Please welcome

our guests tonight, the creeds and Bob Mortimer.

APPLAUSE .

Nice to see you both still together after all these years. Yes, that's

the title song, isn't it? It is. The great thing is, it's always been Vic

and Bob. No deviation, just Vic and Bob. Have you ever been tempted to

stray? From the path we have been given? Jennifer Saunders delays and

dallies with Joanna Lumley and Dawn French. We do other recent pieces.

With anybody specifically? Have you been attracted to another potential

partner? My wife. I was attracted to her. That's fortunate. Another

comedy romance, Bob? I can't really remember working with anyone in

particular. Where the sparks are flown. That's nice, isn't it? How

many years now? 27. APPLAUSE

. Isn't that wonderful. What is the

thing you like least about him? That's easy. Some of the food he

eats, he brings to work, it's quite extraordinary. I'm always polite

about it. He makes his own sausages. As soon as he splits the skin, every

insect is there. Dead. Right to reply. I bring in what's left over

from last night 's dinner. What Bob brings in the heavy treacle sponge

cake. Nice. Heavy, heavy... Jamaica ginger. I love that cake. He just

scoops it out with a spoon. And that's marriage for you, ladies and

gentlemen. We will talk about their sitcom House of Fools later on but

what if we were to tell you that one of these, some chocolate and some

cranberries, had ten times more sugar than the other? It continues

on the show later on. After the torrential storms, many people will

be spending this weekend getting their homes and gardens in shape, as

well as filing insurance claims for the damages. But some storm damage

is irreplaceable. Lucy went to some badly affected areas of Britain's

coastline which are beyond repair. In the last few weeks, severe storms

have reshaped huge swathes of the UK's coastal landscape and over 250

flood warnings have been issued by the Environment Agency. Scotland has

seen the most rainfall since records began in 1910. 140 homes in Wales

have been flooded and people evacuated. The Southeast has had its

wettest December for 50 years and, in the south-west, the story is much

the same. Just a few days ago, here in Cornwall, you would've seen an

iconic piece of coastline in all its glory. Since then, the wind and the

waves have pummelled this section of coastline. The waves have been up to

30 feet. Can you imagine the force of the wind and the waves? They

smashed what is known locally as Jan Levitt is rock into the sea. Dave

Owen, assistant head of the environment at Cornwall Council, has

been monitoring effects of extreme weather along the coastline.

Cornwall is on the receiving end of the first bit of weather which comes

across the Atlantic, and it comes across, and it says committee is

Cordle, let's it a good spanking. It's been the worst I have seen for

the last 25 years. We have lost structures, some of them dating back

to 1847. -- Cornwall. Some of the more modern. We have never seen

damage like it. How does it feel to lose the structures? The worst was

what happened here where we lost the pepper pot and had lots of damage to

the inner harbour wall. Something she you can't rebuild and are

irreplaceable. Cornwall is a dynamic coastline. Out of this would come

new structures and the landscape will evolve. Have you been surprised

by the resilience of people, not just in Cornwall, the nationwide?

Fantastic, I have been talking to colleagues in Kent and Hampshire and

Dorset, and it is the same everywhere. Communities always

respond remarkably strongly to these events. At current ports, 100 people

made 500 sandbags. Fantastic. This beach is missing large quantities of

sand. The wind and waves of dramatically altered the

beach-front. So what has gone on here then? Basically, as you can

see, this was 20 foot of sand. A smooth finish. It's a nice

trajectory going down to the beach and now you have got a precipice.

Three days ago that was 15 feet straight down. How quickly did this

happen? Over to spring tides. Does it amazing that that can happen?

Absolutely, but it's a phenomenal experience. You never take it for

granted. Monday lunchtime it picked up to in excess of 30 feet. I have

never seen anything like it anywhere in the world. If that had happened

on Saturday night, I imagine we would have no watering hole and no

visitor centre as well. Are you saying it's not as bad as it

could've been? If we would've had a north-westerly wind, I don't think

we have been standing here. Now, we are all hoping that the severe

weather, the worst country seems the decades has finally run its course.

But it is testament to the resilience of a nation that we have

found so many ways to overcome the devastation and destruction.

Thank you. Vic and Bob I getting ready to do a special weather

forecast for us. Carol Kirkwood is here.

APPLAUSE Good evening.

Up early this morning. I love it. Is this the end of the wet windy

weather? Not necessarily. I will talk more about that in the

programme following the one show. We are talking about rain coming into

the West, moving eastwards, and of course, we're only halfway through

winter so we still have a lot of weather to come our way. And

temperatures are quite mild at the moment. Not bad although today will

turn colder. Do you remember the polar vortex we had across the USA?

And cold air and with the wind chill, temperatures in Montana fell

as low as -53. That same air mass is now coming across the Atlantic Ocean

full to its across the UK at the moment but it modified completely

across the Atlantic, which is comparatively warmer, so therefore,

we are looking at -4 by night. Chris needs to know how much colder? Long

Johns or no long johns? Long johns by night, anyway. And maybe in the

morning when you drive to Radio 2. It's a big day in the world of

weather forecasting tomorrow, isn't it? 60 years ago on the 11th of

January 1954, it was actually the day that the weather forecast was

first presented by a man on television. Prior to that, it was

just a map on the screen with a narrator and George Cowling was the

first person to do that and we can show you some actors of that. Hot on

the Atlantic, we have a frontal system moving in which Will, even

tonight, bring rain into Western districts, so let's have a look at

tomorrow's chart. Well, there we have it. That is the position we

expect around midday tomorrow. Brilliant. When George started, used

wax crayons to draw the lines on the maps, the isobars and the France,

and then we progressed to magnetic symbols. They were always slipping

off. There's a famous story you may have heard because which the

forecaster said I'm sorry about the fog when the eff had dropped off.

Breaking news, Vic and Bob have a localised weather report for us

right now. These are the pictures of the UK I

did earlier with my phone. Over to you, Vic. No, it's over to you. On

Saturday, mostly dry and sunny day after a cold and frosty start.

Wintry showers in the Northwest. And turning frosty. In Tamworth, it's

going to be raining cats as the British Ragdoll Cat Championship

Show will take place. Six Celsius, thank you, Bob. Excellent, Vic. On

Sunday, whether it's bright and frosty with some fog and rain

arriving in the West later. If you are in Bognor Regis then "choo-choo"

choose your weather wear sensibly down at the Model Railway

Exhibition. It will turn cloudy and breezy later in the day with highs

of nine degrees. I don't know that word, Vic. Celsius. I think your job

is safe, Carol. Here is a clip from their new sitcom, House of Fools.

Why don't you show her one of your DVDs from your collection? What

about taken? Someone took it. Gone in 60 seconds? That's not a bad

call. It was here a minute ago. What a surprise. So, gentlemen, 6/2

hours, 10pm Tuesday. You have taken six typical sitcom plots and what

have you done with them? Rewritten them. The first one is a pilot which

we did in May. We did a long learning curve to learn how to write

a sitcom correctly. And then, after that, we did another five. You take

a sitcom, they are all pretty much the same story, look after my dog

for the weekend, whilst I go away. In our case, it's a pork pie. On my

wig. You wear a yes, but the wig doesn't like me at all. As soon as

it's over, I take it off. -- you wear a wig. It's like Terry and June

but without the laughs. It's heartening back to the more

traditional sitcoms? Yes, it is Bob 's house, and I move in, which he

doesn't want, and his son is moved in, which he doesn't want, and I

move my brother in, which he doesn't want, and there's people around him

he doesn't want in their full you can't have an old sitcom... And you

are lovelorn, aren't you? Yes, as in life as well. I don't want these

people here, but I couldn't of course live without them. That's the

kind of setup. You mentioned Bruce Willis and his pork pie in episode

two. Our next-door neighbour writes novels and she asks Bruce Willis to

play the part of Robin Hood for one of her erotic novels. But he wants

to have a pork pie so she gives it was for the safekeeping. He'll only

play the part if he gets this luxury particular pork pie and then

something happens for them not only is it funny but it's gripping.

That's the whole point. If there was no comedy unit, it will still be a

gripping story. Yes. All the characters come through the front

door and sing a little bit to introduce the character. Are you

moving into musicals after this? The reason basing it so we can explain

the plot quicker. It is work because we want to explain the plot. You

want to Spain to someone who you are. You might want to try it

yourself, Alex. I could. Next time you stride into a bistro, make your

demands in songs. Any lyrics? I have plenty of ideas. I will furnish you

with them later. OK, you have got a solid basic cast of six people. We

have got Bob, me, Matt Berry, Dan Skinner, Daniel Simonson and Morgana

Robinson and this special guests appearing throughout. OK, are you

nervous about it? Yes. Where are you going to watch it? I won't watch it,

no chance. I haven't seen the pilot. It's fantastic. You can see the

first episode of House of Fools Tuesday, 10pm on BBC Two. It's

getting a little bit hot outside. We'll be joining LC shortly. Do you

think it's at all possible that the shape of chocolate can change the

taste of it? I would have said no. That's what we all said before we

saw this. One of Britain's favourite chocolate

manufacturers has recently come under fire for changing the shape of

its age-old chocolate bar. Despite insistence that the recipe has

remained the same, there have been complaints that the way the

chocolate tastes has changed. Research has suggested that this may

be linked to the change in shape. Our love affair with chocolate goes

way back. The Mayans in Central America over 2000 years ago were the

first real chocolate connoisseurs, but the bitter, cold, porridge like

drink they created from cocoa beans is a far cry from what we eat today.

We consume almost half 1 million tonnes of chocolate every year,

that's about three bars each every week! We love chocolate, but as fans

of Cadburys may have discovered, shape does seem to affect how

something tastes. Well, we think it does. Diana Short makes luxury

chocolates for some of Britain's most exclusive stores. Shape is

really important. Eating chocolate is a multisensory experience. This

is lovely, thin piece of chocolate. You get a great snap from it. The

part of the appeal of eating a little crisp like this is the snap

and texture it has, but when you eat it hit melts quickly on your tongue,

delivers the flavour quickly and gives you a really good burst. Can I

taste it? You get the delivery of Labour straightaway. What about

round chocolates? A honey ganache, it is a wonderful round, soft

flavour, and we like to mirror that in the shape of the chocolate. It

adds to the experience and expectation of seeing a chocolate

this shape and getting that flavour profile from it. To see if the taste

really is altered by shape, I'm going to conduct an experiment. We

are going to put it to the test using three batches of special the

One Show chocolate. They are all made to exactly the same recipe,

except one is round, one is angular and one is made of flaky, thin

layers. We've taken them onto the streets of Bristol. Our tasters are

asked to try each chocolate and score them on their sweetness,

bitterness, orderliness or creaminess. Quite sweet and smooth.

A lot sweeter. A bit less sweet. Mustn't sob year. Number three is

definitely my favourite. Is melting in the mouth. It is melting in the

mouth. The scores are in and number three is the clear winner for

flavour. Two is voted the sweetest, which is strange considering they

are all the same chocolate. Are they? ! I did think the flavour was

sweeter. They seemed sweeter. They all taste really nice! This

professor is a physicist at Bristol University. The round surface, the

first thing that happens is you start to dissolve some of the sugar

on the outside layers, that makes it sweet. You probably push against

your mouth, it starts to melt, the fat melts and that will probably

taste more greasy and oily. This one came out as much more oily, why is

that? You will get more of the cocoa powder and bitter flavour coming

through at the corners. The most popular was the ruffled, flaky

chocolate. It's popular because it has a very high surface. It will

dissolve more quickly, so you can dissolve the sugar is very fast and

get an intensity of flavour coming off in a very short space of time.

But not everyone experiences food in the same way. It's something

familiar looks different, we often convince ourselves it tastes

different, too. The next time you have a bit of chocolate, have a

think about what you are experiencing. Is the shape

influencing the taste, or are your eyes fooling your senses? Chocolate

bars are getting smaller, aren't they? They are. The pieces have gone

round rather than square on Dairy Milk. Shaving off the edges took

four grams of a 49 grams bar. But the price didn't go down. The cheek

of it! Sugar has been all over the news this week. But what is the

industry's reaction? 38 of the big players have signed up to the

Government's responsibility deal, saying they are going to do

healthier things. The food and drink Federation say there is now clear

labelling on the front of packs, so you can clearly see how much sugar

is in your food. It doesn't necessarily mean you know how much

sugar is in your food. The thing about chocolate bars, at least they

give you a clue. There might be sugar in me. But what about other

things? There are four grams of sugar to a teaspoon. Here we have a

healthy cereal bar. Three and a half teaspoons of sugar in this. You

think it is very healthy but there are three and a half teaspoons of

sugar in it. How about this one? That looks really help the

straightaway. Would you be surprised to know that there was as much sugar

in this as there was in this chocolate bar? There can't be. How

about as much in these two chocolate bars? How about if I said there was

as much sugar, 11 teaspoons, as in these three chocolate bars? A

madman! It's a true fact. One of these has ten times more sugar in it

than the other. Yes, because the cranberries are incredibly high in

sugar, 22 grams serving has an awful lot of teaspoons of sugar. This has

75 grams of sugar in it and this has seven grams of sugar. Is it a nicer

type of sugar? There has been something said that fructose could

be healthier than other sugars. Dark chocolate has a lower amount of

sugar. You would think that if you were snacking on these all day you

would be healthy. I love that Doc chocolate. I like the 90%. If you

have a 90, if you have one piece, let's say that size... You think,

oh, that's bitter. Takes on water! And then you have the next one and

it's really nice, especially if you have it with copy. We've been

learning what life is like with loved ones serving in Afghanistan.

Let's see the final instalment of a thought-provoking story. As they

pack up their kid to head home, the remainder of Badger Squadron have

time to reflect on whether their work in Afghanistan has really made

a difference. Compared to when I was here in 2006, from the small

glimpses I have seen when I get out and about, it improved massively.

Employment and things like that. People are just a little bit more

confident and happy about going about their business. Certainly some

of the areas, it isn't as hostile as it was then. I don't know whether

that is just because we have a constant presence going on there and

they are just sick and tired of dealing with us. It might be that.

It could be such a nice country if everyone just stopped blowing stuff

up. With their job done, Badger Squadron's two day, four and a half

thousand mile journey home can begin. But this much anticipated

reunion will come with its own challenges for wives, Natalie and

Emma. It's been really hard the last two weeks because it feels like time

is standing still, as it's getting nearer. Sometimes I think I'd rather

do six and a half months more than this one week because it's the

longest time in the world. It takes forever to go by. You try to let

yourself get excited, but there's also nervous... Nervousness of how

you are going to get on together again. There's always delays in the

flights, so you think he's coming home one day, you are wary about

telling the children because you don't want to get them excited and

then they be let down, so it is hard. But you just know he will be

home soon. The first couple of days it is really happy and exciting, but

you've got to get used to each other again. You've lived apart for nearly

seven months. He's lived with a load of men, it's just been me and the

children. Little things like putting free place mouths out for tea and

adding another one might sound quite simple to some people but it isn't.

I'm looking forward to govern coming home so he can make me a cup of tea

and I can have a nice lie in in bed. He can look after the children! To

be honest, it's little things like going for walks with the kids,

sitting in front of the TV on a Saturday morning watching TV with

the kids and a bucket of popcorn. Stop! In the next 12 months,

thousands of British personnel will fly home from Afghanistan for good,

to family, friends and the familiar sight of home. Some time away with

the wife and a good day out with the kids. It's funny, actually a bit of

rain. Even when I was home before it didn't rain the whole time. It's the

little things like sitting down and watching a TV programme. Garth and

Woody's flight arrives at a reassuringly rainy RAF Brize Norton,

touching distance from their families waiting at their home

barracks. Ready? Blunted daddy! -- run to daddy!

And a month after being hit by an IED, Les has also made it to welcome

his comrades home. To lose him was a massive blow. Thank God he is all

right. He's effectively my right-hand man. In the coming weeks

the three soldiers will put Afghanistan behind them, ease back

into family life and plan for the future. I think she's got it that

she'd quite like to get married next year, so I'd better start saving for

that. This is the first time I've seen Joshua train outside. I didn't

realise how good he was. When he came back it was like going on a

first date, seeing him all over again. It's more exciting than

having a husband that goes to work 9-to-5. It's just been nice to be

back. It feels like a big pressure upon. And just content sitting,

having the kids scream at me and pull my ears! Brilliant films all

week. The boys and their families are here with us now. Les, coming to

you first, because it came at home a bit sooner. We saw that your tank

went over an IED, how is your recovery coming on? It's getting

there. I have great physios, and they are putting in the time. It's

just a slow process. And Les did let out in the film that he thinks you

should get married next year, how are the plans coming? Might stop

them soon! It's lovely to have him home. She has to say yes. Thank you

for wonderful week of films. Tell us about the attitude of people in

Afghanistan, what have you seen over the year? Daily since I was there in

2006, the change is massive. Just how busy everything is. It has come

on tenfold from when I was first there in. We have Woody and Natalie.

Natalie, you got quite emotional. All you wanted it was forwarded to

come home and you could watch a movie on a Saturday morning with

popcorn. Have you managed to do that? Loads of times over Christmas.

How has it been for you settling back into family life? Because I'm

busy, she's been going to work, I've got five weeks leave. I've been

taking the kids to school, taking them to clubs and things like that.

Thanks so much to all of you coming in and thanks for the three films

we've seen this week. That's about it for today. Vic and Bob's House of

Fools is on Tuesday, 10pm on BBC Two. We have LC the Dragon and the

Battle Heritage night from BBC's Knight Club available on iPlayer.

Goodbye everyone!