16/03/2016 The One Show

Hello and welcome to the One Show with Alan Johnson And Matt Baker.

Tonight has a bit of a 90s feel. Remember when Noel Edded Mondays and

Mr Blobby ruled Saturday night with 20 million viewers? Far fewer

attended the doomed theme park that fell on its Crinkley Botton. Nick

Hewer has the story a bit later. Yes, it's back. There we are. This

time, you can have a go. We are live at the brand new interactive version

of the Crystal Maze. Joe's very in the moment there. Isn't he in the

zone. When The Crystal Maze was on the telly these boys were making the

catchiest songs of the 90s. # She's a star... #

James will be treating us to a performance of their new single.

This song it's perfect for both of tonight's guests. It is. One has

written bestsellers a hit telly show and was once named one of Britain's

most influential women. And the other has written bestsellers, won

numerous comedy awards and recently walked 135 miles across the width of

England. Here they are in the 90s. Here they are live on the One Show,

it's Jo Brand and Caitlin Moran. There we are then. You look lovely,

Jo. I don't want that. You look like your' on Dynasty. I love it. You

look like Straw berry Shortcake. This was the first time I had an

alcoholic drink. I was 15. Came down to London to sign my book deal. I

couldn't think of any drinks I went cider and soda. That's not a thing.

It looks like you dropped it. Full of life and joy there. Highlight or

lowlight. Royal chocolate mint liqueur. I thought it would be like

chocolate. Lying on a carpet for about four days. That wasn't my

highlight. My highlight was probably being nominated for the Perrier

Award. It was the Edinburgh Comedy Award. Steve Coogan and John

Thompson won it. About three or four years down-the-line someone said to

me - didn't you actually win the Perrier Award, I went, "yeah."

Nobody remembers, do they. A more Al victory. Morven Christie is starring

in a new BBC drama about autism. She will talk to us about it lart on.

Let us set the scene. Go on. You saved up the deposit. Found a

property. Good. The offer has been accepted. Yes. The survey is good.

Time to part with thousands of pounds of your hard-earned cash. No

doubt the biggest much purchase of your life. One click and all that

money could just vanish. Is in the UK, more than 100,000 properties are

bought or sold every month. Now, most of us would use a solicitor or

a conveyor to deal with the purchase on our behalf. Crucially, the

all-important transfer the last sums of money involved. It should be

totally safe and water tight, but what if all that money could

suddenly disappear? In July last year, Kate Blakeley and her partner

Marco were buying a family home in leafy Buckinghamshire. We were close

to the purchase and make the completion payment. We received an

email from the solicitoring to say the bank account was being audited

so could we send the funds to a different bank account. The email

signoff was the same. We felt completely trusting of the email

communication. While the email looked like it was from her

solicitor, it wasn't. It was from conmen who had somehow intercepted

their emails. Thinking they were transferring money to their

solicitor, Kate and Marco paid just under ?300,000 into the fraudster's

bogus account. We made the fine Al payment at the local branch of our

bank on the Thursday. Then we received a phone call on Friday

afternoon, from the solicitor, to say the money hasn't arrived. The

money has gone. We were potentially bankrupt. We had handed in notice on

our rent Al properties and had nowhere to live. Where would we live

with the children, even just in the short-term, let alone thinking -

what can we do in the long-term, we can't ever afford a house again. We

were devastated at that point. Their solicitors say there was no evidence

that either their IT systems had been hacked or that their email

accounts had been used by the fraudsters. As soon as they were

alerted to to the fraud they immediately contacted the bank.

Meanwhile, Kate and Marco took out an injunction to freeze the bogus

account. They reported the theft to Action Fraud, whose investigators

have encountered this type of crime before. We first became aware of it

two-and-a-half years ago. It's been slowly rising since. We have

recorded a total loss in this particular fraud of over ?10

million. How is this happening? It's interception of the email traffic,

either through placing malware on one or other of the computers

involved, or through insecure Wi-Fi networks. With hundreds of thousands

of pounds at stake with this new type of fraud the consequences can

be devastating. Any dreams you you might have of moving into your new

home will disappear along with your money. Paul Phillip believes

everyone involved in house purchases needs to be on their guard. Surely,

the fault with this could almost be pointed at the solicitors. You are

doing it day in, day out, the clients aren't, they are doing it

once every few years. You should do more to protect our I agree that

clients. Would be best practice. Clients have an obligation to make

sure they know who they are dealing with, just like you and I when we're

dealing on the internet, you know the email you have got comes from

the solicitors and actually the most obvious and common sense thing to do

is pick up the phone, verify the email and the Budget account details

you have been sent. One of the safest ways to make sure the right

people are getting your money. Make a small transfer, ?1, most of us can

afford to lose that. When that has gone through ring your solicitor to

check they received it. Then transfer the big amount. As for Kate

and her family, well I'm delighted to report a happy ending. They are

now living in their dream home. We had a phone call out of the blue.

The best phone call I could easily say of our lives. The police had

found the majority of the money that had disappeared. We were absolutely

overjoyed and I think both of us burst into tears at that point. We

couldn't believe what we were being told. Three people were arrested in

connection with the fraud and on Monday all three were jailed for up

to 14 months. But there are plenty of tech-savvy criminals ready to

fill their place and turn our dreams of a new home into ale nightmare. As

they said the relief must have been immense all that money just

disappearing. Transferring that ?1 is a good idea. Are you two careful

with internet transactions? No, I'm terrible. I use the same password on

everything which I've had to change. Don't tell people that. I changed it

all. Is it your name? It was the name of my childhood hero, Keith keg

win. When my kids found out they were a real person they were like -

I just thought it was a password you made up. I said let me tell you

about the legend. The world can talk - Do you have many drunken toddlers.

I would give away my motherhood - Don't do that. It's like a little

baby if you're on Twitter it's prone to huge rages suddenly. People get

upset and distract you quickly with a cute picture of a cat or talking

about what you had for lunch. In your new book, Moranifesto, you talk

about social media, about housing, toddlers, there is lots of different

chapters, some of our favourites were the ones on tights and printers

are evil. We will ask Jo which ones would - which one of those would you

prefer Caitlin to talk about? This changed my Tights. Life. I'm asked

over and over again, what is the biggest thing you learnt in your

life. Never put your tights in the washing machine. The lycra will

shatter at that temperature. When you are in the shower wash your

tights in the shower while waiting for the condition - When they are on

you? Start like that. Put them in the tray. Stamp on them a bit, like

crushing grapes. Not while you're wearing I would like them. To see

you try, that would be amazing. That's how I do my pants. Sorry

Alex, I know it's early. Don't think about the image. I know students at

college who would get in the bath with their underwear on. Don't waste

the water. They keep their shapes for years rather than the baggy

tight. I haven't worn tights since 1943. I hate tights. They are never

quite right. They do that, they kind of come down to just above your

knees. Or else they are up here. I like them being up here. Do you like

that? Keeps them warm. Like a oncy. Hugs it all in. Can I just

interject. I'm wondering why you've written a manifesto or a

Moranifesto? When I was on tour I asked people who voted in the last

election and and I asked who read the manifesto of the party they

voted for. Everyone everybody would go, um. Including me. Politics

should be ideas. It's about making things better. We have lost that

idea. I really believe everybody out there has one idea that would make

the world a better place. I have loads of ideas. I put them all in my

manifesto and encouraged everybody else to do it. The tone of politics

is cynical. If you go - things could get better, people say you are a

child, naive. We invented David Bowie, put a man on the moon. I

wanted to make politics positive again and cheerful. You put a lot of

yourself in your books as you do in your aerials. I loved the one you

published about the letter you would write to your daughter. It has a

warm reception, didn't it? It went crackers. It was big on the

internet. Adele retweeted it and said this has been such a beautiful

letter to read, Caitlin Moran. People thought I was her friend.

Adele friends write me saying - tell Adele we love her, she must play

Brazil. I'm like sorry, I can't help you. The way you tell your husband

how much you love him and snuggled up in bed. And the letter Alex said.

Where do you drawn the line with your own privacy? Anything that

would be boring, really I think. You don't want to bore people and stuff.

You only want to tell people stories that are funny. That is my rule.

People went are you have written your own manifesto, will you run for

Parliament No, I couldn't. If I was in the middle of a meeting that was

important and thought of a joke that would couper these things and the

whole world was at war, I would tell the joke, then we would all die.

That is why I wouldn't go into politics myself. OK. If you want to

read Moranifesto it's out now, isn't it? Yes, it is. We said tonight has

a flavour of the 90s. Joe Crowley is live from a famous 90TV show. He's

only in The Crystal Maze. For those of you who can't remember, the Maze

from 1990 to 1985 and saw richedrd O'Brien and Ed Tudor Pole lead the

team through challenges of physical and mental strength and mystery. The

The aim was to win crystals and get more time in the Crystal Dome. Joe,

how are you getting on? Have you got any yet? That's how I'm getting on.

I mastered the harmonica at least. Welcome to the Crystal Maze. It

doesn't matter if you don't remember the original TV series, cult though

it was. This experience has been created for people to enjoy, for

people to come and try and test their wits against the various

challenges. Speaking of challenges, all around me, through these walls

are challenges. I can't show you any, mummies won't let me. We are in

the Aztec Zone. If you come through here you can see more of it, there

was the Medieval, Industrial And futuristic. Let us speak to the man

who was the brains behind it. Tom Maguire you had the idea. How did it

come about? Like all good ideas it started in the pub. I was an actor

at the time. I got to thinking what would be the most fun and exciting

show I would want to see. I put a wonderful team together, Ben, Greg

and Dean. It's two years later - here we are. You raised a lot of

money to put it on. Do you have Richard O'Brien's blessing? Yes and

the original creator. They have been really influential. And really

helpful. It's very popular. Will you take it outside of London snfrjs I

hope so. We wanted to get good foundations. Make it perfect. Who

knows. The world is our oyster. Thank you very much, Tom. It's hot

in the Aztec Zone. Look who I find but two original legends who took

part in the show, in the TV show. Tracey. You had a go on some of the

challenges, what are they like? How do they compare? They are absolutely

amazing. I felt I like I was transported back 21 years when I was

fortunate to be captain of a team who went on and won. We bonded as a

team. This created that. You were other people shouting through the

windows at the skill games, mystery games saying - come on, we want to

win. We are a good team, work together. I want to get in Peter.

How did you get involved in the very first series They were short of

contestants. I was selling a pension to one of the directors. He asked me

to go on it. Simple as that. Simple as that. Amazing. You heard there

that Tracey's team did very well originally. Both of these two,

neither of them, managed to get any individuals CIS ales, that is true.

Join us later, we will put them in the Dome itself and see how they get

on. Back to you guys. Tracey and Peter are chomping at the

bit! He was challenging Peter O'Brien.

It will shortly be the centenary of the Easter rising. A pivotal moment

in the history of Ireland. Brendan O'Carroll of Mrs Brown's Boys same

has been on his own personal journey to explore the events.

Exactly 100 years ago, when Easter week 1916, a band of rebels seized

control of prominent buildings in Dublin. For six days, they held out

against the might of the British Empire. It sent shock waves through

the Empire and signalled the birth of today's republican movement. This

is a family, my family. This is my dad, my grandparents, the ones who

are going to concentrate on our Liam, Jim and Padraig. That one was

too young. For generations, my family had been committed rebels.

Unlike today, the island they lived in was all part of the United

Kingdom. My family came from a long tradition of Irish nationalists, who

wanted Ireland to be a independent country. At the start of the Rising,

there were 4000 British soldiers stationed in barracks around Dublin.

They were the first to be mobilised and thousands of reinforcements from

other parts of Ireland and Britain were soon on the way. The 1600

rebels were massively outnumbered. Uncle Liam had been put in charge of

his company, including his younger brother and was instructed to world

barricades. I have brought by sons Danny and Eric to see where ankle

Liam let them in. He is 22 years of age, your rage. His commander has

not turned up so he is in charge of a company. That is supposed to be

120 men but only 28 turned up. They head off against the biggest empire

in the world. This would all have been small tiny cottages at the

time. He halted his men to stop here. We erected a double barricade

off the street. Ordinary Dubliners were going around going, what?! What

is the story of the barricades? ! British! What? What kind of guns

were the rebels up against? What guns to be British have and what

guns did the rebels have? They were standing here with a pike. A pike! A

pole with a spiked on top of it. Bit closer, closer! In one breath, it is

foolhardy. And then there are these young men standing with a pike at

barricade. I love it! It is amazing to think there was a war here. 100

years ago, Easter Monday. Your two great uncles stood right here.

Remember this. We are no more than a half a mile away from the house they

left that morning leaving their man, dad and my dad behind as a young

kid. They are holding the barricade. Their parents can hear the gunfire.

Wow. They must have been terrified. I can't even imagine what that would

feel like. If that was you boys, I have to tell you, I would be their

standing in front of you. I am really proud of my uncles.

Three men marching out of the house to a rebellion on Easter Monday

1916. Was it youthful folly or genuine idealism? I know this, if

anybody asks me where I come from, I get to say, the Republic of Ireland.

I thank them for that. And you can see the whole of

Brendan's documentary My Family At War tonight on BBC Two at nine

o'clock. And Dan is with us now. We have not seen you for ages! I am

sorry about that. How much support to the rising get a? A lot of people

in Dublin at that time, at that time Britain and Ireland were united on

the Western Front, fighting Germany. A lot of people in Dublin thought

this was a bit treacherous and I'm patriotic. A lot of women,

particular married to soldiers would go down to the barricades and jeer

at them but then things changed after the British behaviour at the

end of the uprising. Had the First World War affected? The Brits were

fighting this terrible gruelling war, losing men, spending money,

they did not have time to focus on what was happening back home in

Ireland. So they would rise up. The Germans supported this because any

tension would benefit them. They sent weapons. They did not arrive

because they were intercepted. It is all tied in with what was going on

in the wider world scene. And there was this woman counters Markievicz.

What was her role? Women played an enormously important role. It was

part of liberation and emancipation and the Irish struggle as well. She

was one of the leaders, she fought at the barricades and had a weapon.

She was captured and court-martialed but she was not executed. She was

serious! She said, typical Brits, they did not execute me. But she got

the last laugh because she became the first woman in history to win a

seat in the House of Commons. Even though she was in prison. She did

not take the seat but she won it. The Easter rising was a stepping

stone to independence as opposed to absolute success? The reason it was

a stepping stone was the British Army overreacted. They bombarded

Dublin and killed civilians. When they captured rebels, they

court-martialed them, shot them and arrested a lot of other people

without trial. As a result, a lot of people in Ireland became estranged

from Britain and the government and looked on these people as martyrs.

It is an important stepping stone to Ireland subsequently getting its

independence. 100 years on shortly, are they marking it in a big way in

Ireland? There will be a big parade and in the jail where they were

court-martialed and executed by firing squad, there will be

wreath-laying and other commemorations around the country.

It is a big anniversary for them. Thank you, we will see you soon. We

will not leave it so long next time. In a minute, Jo will walk us through

her epic Sport Relief challenge walking 135 miles from the Humber to

the mercy. It is massive. About eight inches! -- the Mersey. Here is

Alex Riley on a school initiative that is going the extra mile to keep

children healthy. Sugary drinks, fatty foods, sweet

treats, is it anyone do our kids are getting bigger? Official figures

show that by the time they leave primary school, one in five of them

are obese. Experts believe the lack of exercise is key with only half of

seven-year-olds achieving recommended levels of physical

activity. Here at the school in sterling, they have come up with a

simple solution. Lets line-up and do the daily mile. Pupils take 15

minutes breaks of the desks to complete laps of the playground. It

is part of the daily mile. It has become a big hit with children and

adults alike. Every single day they are walking or running a mile which

enables them to be active on a regular basis. Then they come back

in. It seems the idea has legs because it has travelled 247 daily

miles to this primary School in Cheshire. I am about to meet the

first class to tackle the daily mile here. This year five class have had

a bit of practice this week but today is D-Day. They may be leading

the way but the rest of the school will be joining in by the end

of the month. To give them a kick-start, Saint Ninian's pioneers

have given them some advice. Walk may be 20 steps and count the steps.

Then you could jog 15 steps. Carry on doing that process. I like

getting out of the class and having fresh air. It also gives you a break

when you have been thinking for a long time in class. Even when you

have been doing it for a couple of weeks, you will feel so much fitter.

Quite a change! There is no running away from it. It is time to hit the

track. Lets go and line up outside and get ready to give it a go. Ever

heard the phrase all the gear and no idea? Yes, you go round, kids. What

do you think about doing the daily mile? It is all right to get out and

have a run and you get to feel the burn. I thought it would be boring

but when I started doing it it is actually really fun. Twixt you up

and gets you ready to start the day. I am so fast. I am on my 14th. If it

was snowing would you still want to do it? Yes! I enjoy it because it is

a good time to speak to my friends. Do you feel like you have more

energy and fitness to do stuff? Yes. Off he goes! The teacher is in

charge of the year five Deeney pigs. We did a maths lesson to measure the

distance around the playground to make sure it was a mile and then we

took on board that we would do it every day. When they come back and

side are they exhausted or too excitable to do work? I find they

have blown off a bit of steam and cleared their minds and then they

are back and ready to do what is asked of them. This is one of six

schools piloting the daily mile in Cheshire with plans for more to join

in by 2018. Duncan from Active Cheshire is leading the project.

Some kids are fitter than others, is there a danger it could put some of

them off? It is not a race or a competition. It is important for

everybody. They need to see that habit of something they can carry on

for the rest of their life. The last one to the climbing frame buys the

skinny low pay is. Go! A great effort, everybody! Yes,

great effort! Good luck to everybody doing the Sport Relief mile at the

weekend. We will see some of you at the Queen Elizabeth Olympic Park. We

have swapped sides because we have heard that the male presenter always

sits on the left so we thought we would change it up. Twitter has gone

into meltdown. Some people are watching us in the mirror so we are

the right way round. We will talk to Hill Turnbull tomorrow -- we will

talk to Bill Turnbull tomorrow. Did you notice we were the wrong way

round? Of course not! I thought you were more attractive! Jo you have

completed a 135 mile walk from the Humber Bridge, across the

trans-Pennine trial to Liverpool in seven days. I said when you walked

in that I thought you were glowing. How are you feeling now? I feel all

right. The glowing bit is make up! Underneath, I look like a ghost and

I sit at home all day crying. Don't tell anyone. I am fine now. How long

did it take you to realise that you were fine? Probably about a week. My

feet really hurt. The bottom of my feet felt like they had been bloated

or. Lightly, admits ugly but they were still painful! What is the

damage like? You see people having skin coming off their feet like

sheets. I will send you a photo for your birthday! You were upbeat at

the beginning, she had a brilliant message. Let's have a look. I'm

doing this on the half of all the portly middle-aged women in the

country who need to get off their bums, get a bit of exercise and live

a bit longer, so they can occur with their husbands a few more years,

shout at their kids for a bit longer, and eat more chips!

What a great start. I know the Humber Bridge well my grandpa lives

beside the bridge. How much preparation did you do and how much

of a shock to to the system was it? I did train for it from about the

beginning of October. I started off doing, kind of, two, two hour walks

a week. That went up to like two, seven-eight hour walks a week. That

was hideous. Two weeks before I did a marathon. I walked a marathon. I

know! That was appalling. Why? Can In every way it. Was all right for

the first three miles. Did you feel quite disheartened after that

knowing what you had - I did actually. When I got to the end I

was dizzy and felt really ill I thought - I just can't do this. I

didn't tell anyone. There is that moment when you think - I've bitten

off way more than I can chew here? No, absolutely. I really did think

that as well. The first night I thought - I can't get up tomorrow.

Like any big challenge there are some dark times. You were no

different, Jo. Are you going to show me being really grumpy. Your

lowlights. I didn't want to put it on Was this route designed to test

our patience. No. Please. There is nothing worse than making polite

conversation with someone when you've had enough. Best to just

leave it. The more someone cries the more people donate. She won't walk

with me. She asked me to comed and, basically, she's blanking me! Is

there anything you want to say to Lee and Alan now? No I'm glad they

blanked me. They were lovely. They did help. It got to 5.00pm even in

Mother Teresa had appeared to me if a vision I wouldn't have talked to

her either. I like the fact it looked like you were in a sulk. It's

a good idea for a Do you think walk. So? A lot of people start walking

this year, or do you think, I'm putting my walking boots in the It

ignited a cupboard. Passion in me for sitting down. I liked walking it

before. It ruined it. It ruined my love of walking. I am never walking

again. We walk in a group of 20 of us with a pub on the way - Nice cosy

pub. And loads of kids of different ages and everything. I love that.

This was like proper grownup walking. You raised loads of money.

That is the point of doing it. Absolutely. You have a personal

connection o to some of the projects where the money is going as far as

the UK is concerned with your past in nursing? I do. I met some lovely

groups much people. Like a group of elderly people who were all lonely.

They got together to meet up every week. They were absolutely great. I

always really resented the fact that once men and women get older they

kind of don't get taken seriously any more and get ignored. I sat at a

table and chatted to them all in the pub. I had the best laugh I had for

ages with them. It's so sad. That we treat the elderly like that. Also,

having been a mental health nurse, I met a young woman who'd gone to Mind

when she was in a really, really difficult place. They have been

absolutely fantastic with her. She looked great. She was back - it was

great to see. Those projects that Sport Relief has been funding. The

projects will benefit so much from your walk congratulations. Thank

you. You can see it put together for a Hell of a Walk for Sport Relief.

Can aapologise to the public. I was really grumpy with a few people. I'm

sorry. They will I don't think understand. They did. The

documentary is on at 9.00pm on BBC One. During the walk, strange

questions. Did anybody clean your hiking boots or trainers or whatever

you were wearing? No. Not even Alan Davies. I tried! It's for a Segway.

The art of cleaning shoes has returned to the streets of Glasgow

for those looking to take shiny steps into full-time employment.

It's been said you can tell a lot about a person by the state of their

shoes. But the last time I polished mine it was on an old piece of

newspaper when I was getting ready to go to school. But back in the

early 1900s, shoe shiners were a stable part of city streets and

there's been some well-known shoe boys too, like Malcolm X and James

Brown. These two are hoping that shiny shoes come back into fashion.

They were struggling for work before starting up their business. The

boots have residue on them. I'm trying to take the highest part of

the residue off. I lost my job 11 months ago. It was very difficult

financially, emotionally. They are paid the minimum wage and all

profits go back into the scheme. It's been preying on my mind I was

meeting people who lost their jobs through one reason or another. There

seemed to be a huge lack of opportunity out there in the current

market. What made these two stand out to you? I loved the

get-up-and-go they had. They are turned out so well. Each place they

go they are an asset to the business. Ian, I can see the

improvement on this one already. I think we will just use the whole tin

on that one. Did you worry there is a bit of a stigma between the

polisher and the shoe customer? Not at all. It's very glamorous. The

customer is so nice. It's a plebs angstant thing to do. That's you.

How has your experience been? It was your first time? Something totally

different you don't see any more. -- polished. It will last longer. It's

not really about cleaning shoes it's about raising self-esteem and giving

peopling a reason to get up in the morning and get that work ethic in

their lives. Hopefully, it will leaded to future full-time

employment. Make sure you are comfortable. There are techniques

involved. Would you trust me to have a go? Do you have insurance? I don't

think I've ever had my shoes polished? Sit down. Where are you

from? From Paris. You have to have your shoes polished. I should have

known. If somebody does it is for me, it will do well. To get dirt off

from the city. ?5. Deal. I'm happy with that. It doesn't feel up UN

comfortable because you are higher. I have done that once in India I

found it very weird. Strange. I wasn't very happy with it. You like

cleaning shoes, don't you? That's true. I do. A new six-part drama

begins on BBC One next week it's call The A Word taking a look at a

family learning to adjust when their son is diagnosed with autism im. Top

lad. There we go. Make way for the birthday boy. Joe, come on, on your

feet, lad. Dad, leave him. Dad, leave him. Joe, Joe. Joe, you want

to see your cake, don't you? It's got an octopus... Morven Christie

joins me now, who plays the mother of Joe with autism. Beth is with us

whose son was diagnosed with autism. Set up the situation. It's a family,

isn't it? They don't find out straightaway the little boy has awe

'tis im? No. He is five when the story begins. It's his fifth

birthday in fact. The family are Alison and Paul, the parents are

aware there's stiff going on with him, they haven't had a diagnosis

about what it is. They are going through a process of denial and not

really understanding and not quite wanting to understand what is going

on with him. Other members of the family start chipping in. That sort

of catalyses that process. In the first episode they find out he has

autism. The story moves on from there. It's how that affects the

rest of their family. How that affects the couple. How they

struggle to communicate with each other and how that makes things more

difficult for him. Beth, how true to life did it feel for you? It felt

really true to life to me. I really enjoyed watching it. It brought back

a lot of memories. There was subtle 'tis in it that I was pleased they

were picked up on by the people who made the show. Like what then? So,

we had the same experience of our child, Charlie, being, we thought he

might be deaf because he wasn't responding to our voices, commands,

when we said his name, he looked the other way. We took him for a hearing

test. When he came out we were told that there was nothing wrong with

his hearing and actually that was really devastating because I kind of

that point thought - there is only one thing left that it can be. Can

you take us back to the moment when you were sure it was autism, it is

was diagnosed? Yeah. He was diagnosed at two. We were fairly

sure when we went to see the consultant that it was autism.

Although I still kind of hoped that it wasn't and it might be something

else. We'd always known from quite early on he was a little bit

strange, like really early. Like a couple of months old. You know, he

was hitting mile stones, but not really hitting them definitely. You

know, I was always thinking - why does he do it some days not other

days he should have been doing it every day, all the time. It should

have been easy. I was reaching for him, clutching at straws for him.

Please be a milestone past, that kind of thing. So, yeah, when when

went for the diagnosis he was two and I hoped, as we went in, that it

might be something else, but it wasn't. Yeah, it was - it was half

relief and half a bit of a devastation to be told that he was

autistic. I felt really rough for a while. I think you grieve. You

expect your child to develop a certain way. You expect to have a

certain relationship with your child. Then all of a sudden that's

taken away from you and you get told you're going to have a child who's

going to be like this for the rest of their life. There's no cure. All

you can do is manage the situation. It's a great responsibility to have

on your shoulders. Charlie is 14? He's 14 now. If I knew now what I

didn't know then, I wouldn't have worried so much about it. He's

wonderful now. Charm,, polite. Doesn't necessarily always fit in,

but I love him just the way he is. Yeah. How much research did you do

into this before hand? Did you want to go through the process as you

were discovering as well? It's a tricky one. I have a friend who,

well a couple of friends actually, in a similar position to Alison in

the show. One who has a child that is lightly older than Joe is, one

who is younger. They are going through that process. I spent time

with them and talked about what it was like to discover those things

and how they were feeling. That was massively helpful. When I started to

do research into autism I quickly realised I was learning things that

actually this character doesn't know and I think it can be dangerous to

put your Seve head of them in terms of education. Know too much. Ended

up learning about autism, how it's treated and diagnosed and how it

works within a family as we shot it, sort of in real time. Which really

helped, I think. The statistic that 2.8 million people every day are

touched in some way by awe 'tissism. For those people tomorrow who may

encounter it what would you say to make the situation easier for people

like your son Charlie -- autism. There's a certain amount of

awareness, like people know the word awe 'tis im, they don't necessarily

understand what autism is -- autism. I think that is what people,

especially influential fields like policemen, doctors, nurses that kind

of, teachers, they should have as much understanding as possible about

autism. When you can pick out certain behaviours and think - maybe

this person is struggling with this or being a bit blunt about something

or saying something she shouldn't be saying. You can think maybe it's

autism I will cut them slack. It's about handling, I think. You need to

educate yourself. Everyone needs to be educated. Thank you for sharing

your story tonight. Mum of five as well which is extraordinary in

itself. Unbelievable. Thank you to Morven Christie. The A Word begins

next Tuesday 9.00pm on BBC One. Earlier on we were live in a fully

functioning version of Crystal Maze. Random world of the One Show. We can

go back to Joe and his Crystal Maze veterans are getting on. Have they

made it to the Crystal Dome, who knows, Joe?

Look where I am and welcome back to the Crystal Maze and the crystal

dome. Every episode would finish with the crystal dome. The teams

would end up here and use the crystals to trade-in for time to get

a golden ticket. We are joined by two more from the original TV

series. Neil, when you were taking part, you had any name? Vice captain

soggy bits, the only adult to fall in the Aztec river. And you played

as well? And I won two crystals. We have set the guys a challenge here

of 100 -- 135 golden tickets. The door is shut. Start the fans! The

reason we have set them 135, is because of Jo Brand's hell of a

walk. We are looking to see 135 golden tickets. I think she was

trying to cheat there! I think Claire is collecting from below the

knee. Let's see how well they are doing. Guys, come on out. I am

handing over to Tom. I did see some collecting from below the knee, so

take a couple of handfuls out. Cheater! I saw you, scooping up from

below the knee. They were above my knee. Not once I saw. We will waive

the tickets. Tom has them on the scales. Here we go, what is the

result? Tell me. 206! Congratulations, guys! Now you have

your special crystals to take home. That is it from the Crystal Maze.

Back to you guys. APPLAUSE

Very good. So many people will be excited they can go and play the

Crystal Maze. If they bring another one back, I would like to play

Gladiators. I would like to play Beverly Hills 90210. You cannot play

that but it was a lovely series in the 90s. For years I was going to

get a load of boxes on an industrial estate and say you are in the

industrial zone. Someone has stolen my idea! You will have to go and try

it out. Would you be into Gladiators? I would be into watching

you do it! We have already seen one television show be recreated as a

tourist attraction this evening. Now to one that Noel Edmonds should have

said no deal too. Welcome to Morecambe, a traditional

British seaside town that in the 1990s, became the unlikely setting

for one of the biggest business blunders in local tourism. Leaving

those responsible with gunge all over their faces. It was the biggest

show on telly, with 20 million people regularly tuning into Noel's

House Party. So when the stars decided to creatively license the

brand to local councils forestry and of theme parks, it looked like a

sure-fire winner. One was the seaside town of Morecambe. As Mike

remembers, it was exciting times. Dream come true for Morecambe. After

years in the doldrums as a resort, we were seeing attractions linked

into a superstar of the day, a golden opportunity to try and get

back contract. Exciting it might have been, but it was also a huge

risk to the council. Having agreed to pay Noel Edmonds ?1 million, they

also took on all the cost of designing, building and running the

theme park. That meant if punters did not turn up, the bill would be

picked up by the taxpayer. For councillor Shirley Burns, the basic

numbers just did not add up. In my view, and I spent a lot of time with

facts and figures, we would need people going through the park all

day 24 hours a day to make it pay, and yet they still voted for it. I

can never did it be realise how they came to that decision. A lone voice

crying in the wilderness and no one would listen? That is right! To

help, Noel Edmonds and Mr Blobby launched the venue and when the

doors were opened, the two were greeted like superstars. But then

the dream turned sour. From the day the gates first opened and people

went into the park, they were coming out and putting pen to paper and

writing to our newspaper saying it was not good value for money and the

whole thing was far below expectations. I think that is one of

the key things in the build-up. The expectations were sky high. The

moment they walked into the park, they were deflated. Steve

Middlesbrough, the owner of what might be the last surviving Crinkly

Bottom bomber jacket worked at the resort. Feel the embroidery,

wouldn't you be pleased with that? Steve has the inside's view. There

was some disillusionment. Although the content was good, there was not

a lot of it and I think they felt the kids were not getting value for

money. So it was a matter of scale, it was a bit puny? People expected

it to be bigger? Yes, I think so. Could Noel have done more? Both

sides could have sat down. You either have promotion and

presentation. The promotion was good, the presentation needed more.

Crinkly Bottom closed its doors in 1994. The ultimate loss was put at

to perform a limb pounds. The council were embroiled in a legal

dispute when Noel Edmonds asked for his ?1 million fee to be paid in

full. The district auditor was damning. He said the deal was

irrational, imprudent and rather damningly unlawful. You were proved

right, my word you were. I was pleased to be right but very unhappy

that it was a failure in Morecambe. The council was left to blame and

they settled out of court with Noel to the tune of ?900,000. A sorry

story of Blobby land is a classic example of when people believe the

hype at any costs. All the Blobby theme parks have been closed and the

theme parks have been reclaimed by nature. Here in Morecambe, Blobby

Gate is a byword for failure. The people in charge needed a kick up

the Crinkly Bottom. Thank you, Nick. We will scrap the idea off a One

Show theme park! Raised By Wolves is back on Channel 4 tonight. The

second series. Where are the characters at this point? They are

still weird and freaky! She has decided to give up home-schooling so

has betrayed them all. Is it right there is a spin off of Getting On?

Does my character working in the community for care of the elderly.

Different but similar. When can we see that? I do know. Today. No, I

don't know, sorry! And of course, Grantchester, you are enjoying that.

We had Robson and James on. They did not behave but they were good fun!

They are. There are a lot of japes onset, shall we say! Water fights as

well. We will not ask whether he should be James Bond! That is almost

all we have got time for tonight. A big thank you to all our guests this

evening! Let ferret for Caitlin Moran, Jo Brand and more than

Christie. The A-Word begins next Tuesday. Now playing us out, it is

James, and from their new album Girl At The End Of The World on Friday,

this is Nothing But Love. Good night!

# Nothing but love gives the world some meaning.

# Nothing but love is the drug of healing.

# Nothing but love stops the mind from grinding.

# Nothing but love flushes hearts from hiding.

# Earthquake, avalanche and landslide.

# Fallout there's no answers, only dances.

# Fallout, love me now or pay the consequences.