19/07/2016 The One Show


19/07/2016

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Hello and on the hottest day of the year, welcome to The Warm Show. Did

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you like what I did? I did. With Matt Baker. And Nina Wadia! Always

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lovely to see you, my dear. What is wrong with you today? We will get on

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to that. We have a lot to get through tonight. It's true. We will

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start with our guest tonight, who is an award-winning comedy actress. Now

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she is bringing back some of her favourite characters, including this

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one. Talking to me? Yes, it's the last stop. Am I bovvered? What? Am I

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bovvered, though? This is the last stop. She might not be bovvered, but

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is she hot and bovvered today? It is Catherine Tate. Hello. That is the

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question. It is the question. Are you a thriver or a wilter? I'm... I

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don't know. I don't go out in this weather. Who could possibly go out

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in this? 33.3 C. It is too much. We want to know how you are coping at

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home. Maybe you are like the gorillas at London Zoo? Send in your

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photos and we will show some of the coolest later. We will bring on

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another little friend. Catherine is excited about Ethel. You are further

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away than I was expecting. Hang on. Two seconds. Thank you very much.

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There we are. This is Ethel. Have a little stroke now. I will pop her

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there. Hello, my darling. The rest of her life! Ethel is a French

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bulldog. Like poodles and Afghans, dogs like Ethel are in vogue. Where

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there is demand, there is always a criminal, happy to make money

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whatever the cost. Here is Dan. They are the must-have dogs for a

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growing band of celebrities, including the Rock, and these

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flat-faced four-legged friends are fast becoming all the rage with the

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rest of us, too. Welcome to my world! They are so popular that UK

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breeders are struggling to cope with demand. Yeah. And rather than

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waiting for the next litter of pugs or French bulldogs, some wannabe

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owners are shelling out thousands of pounds for a pup online. That

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potential to make big money is fuelling a black-market in underage

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puppies being smuggled across the border from Europe. The Dogs Trust

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filmed the illegal trade in puppies. Their footage was captured at a vets

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surgery in Lithuania. This rogue vet is falsifying the date of birth on

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this puppy's passport. It is illegal to import puppies younger than 15

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weeks as they won't be properly vaccinated against diseases like

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rabies. The Dogs Trust says hundreds of

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snub-nosed puppies have been trafficked into the UK. Adam is

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showing me around this quarantine kennel in Dover. It was set up last

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year in response to the influx of smuggled puppies. This last weekend,

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28 pups were seized over two cars. 28 in two cars? Yeah. They are

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coming from countries that aren't rabies free and that means there is

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a risk of bringing that into this country. The rise in puppy smuggling

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incidents is a big concern for the authorities. Catching and

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prosecuting smugglers is far from easy. The people who arrive at the

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ports may not be the breeder, so there can be a number of people

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involved. That is why it is difficult to trace back to the

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actual origin of the person who has been responsible for those pups

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coming over in the first place. What can we do to stop this happening?

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What we'd like people to do is make sure that they are seeing the puppy

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with their natural mother and they are checking to see is they haven't

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come from another country because it fuels this ring of puppies coming

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into the UK. These homeless hounds may have had an unhappy start to

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their life, but their future is set to get a whole lot brighter. Many of

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them are cared for by Dogs Trust volunteers, until they are

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vaccinated and ready to be matched with new owners here in Britain.

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Richard and Jessie adopted Lulu earlier this year. She came from a

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puppy farm in the Czech Republic and she was confiscated at Dover Docks.

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Jessie, how is she settling in? Perfect. I was surprised how

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friendly she was to begin with, like considering her background, but,

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yeah, she's perfect. She's had a tough start to her life, but it is

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all on the up from here. Yes. Ethel has moved from our side of the

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sofa and found a new best friend. She has. Ethel was smuggled. Oh my

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gosh. We are happy to say, after being quarantined, she has been

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re-homed... Aren't you beautiful? You have lost her, Lana! That's it.

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You brought back bad memories then! Leave off! Sorry. You have your own

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dog. I do. There we go. She has an interesting backstory. This

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beautiful dog, yeah, she isn't a rescue dog, although I'm very much

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an advocate of rescue dogs. What I did do was I rescued her from

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Jonathan Ross. I rescued her from a life of luxury because she is the

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offspring of two of Jonathan's dogs. I got, yeah, he knew I wanted a dog,

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he said have a look, and she was there. She's beautiful. We

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understand you are going on tour. Let's remind yourselves of one of

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those characters. Thank you. Can you call me back on the

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landline? I'm at the office. I'm at my desk now. Right.

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This character was based on your mum? Yes, my mum says I don't look

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like that. You always have to nick from people's characteristics but

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don't give them the same hair, that is the trick. My mum says, I said

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that was based on you, she said, I have not got hair like that, but you

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do scream at everything that happens. I was so embarrassing when

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I was a child. The door would ring and she would go, I won't do it

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because Ethel will get a bit... It is like, please, it is so

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embarrassing. Margaret is one of the many characters that you will be

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putting on stage this summer. It surprises me you haven't done this

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already. Me, too. Why now? I don't know what I was doing with my time

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before. I just always wanted to and I never blocked out the amount of

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time you are supposed to and you have to do it so far in advance, I

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was a bit of a commitment-phobe and I bit the bullet. Is this all new

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material? Yes. The old characters. We recently had to revive Goodness

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Gracious Me and we aged up some of the characters. Yes. Are you doing

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that? No. Young forever! Nan's going to get older! No, I thought about

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doing that. Maybe if I did a TV show that might be the way to do it. On

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tour, you kind of got to bring out your greatest hits. Hello! Someone

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dropped her! A biscuit. Someone dropped her a hobnob. There could be

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anything back there! As far as all of the characters are concerned, you

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can't rely on anybody else here. You will have a bit of help on stage? I

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have got help. Matt Horne is coming in - I would hate to do anything on

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my own. The costume changes... The costume changes alone... I don't

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know how I will cope! That is a really technical thing. That is

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going to take an age in rehearsals to get that right. It is exciting.

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We are going all over the country. I love doing stuff live so that is

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good. This one is coming with me! For those that have tuned in, this

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is not Catherine's dog. It is my new character! Out of all the characters

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that you have played, who has been your favourite? In my show? Yes. You

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know what, it is great to make people laugh and that is all fun. To

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be honest, the Nan does elicit the most reaction, but that's old people

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swearing for you! Are you going to be doing prosthetics? Yes. I had a

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fitting yesterday because the prosthetics have to be done much

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quicker, so they are done... The privilege of age, do what you like

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with everyone else! Are we going to see them back on TV again? I hope

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so, yeah. I don't really make plans, really. There is no sort of great

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scheme behind anything. Perhaps, yeah, I'd like to. You have always

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been busy. Apart from your show, you have been in Doctor Who? Yes. You

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are very talented, it is incredible. Thank you very much. As you can see,

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I work wonders with dogs! She begs to differ! You are off on tour very

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soon. The The Catherine Tate Show kicks off in York. It has not been a

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good week for British transport with Southern Rail making drastic changes

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to timetables and British Airways having technical issues with their

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check-in desks. To tell the story of another headline-hitting blunder,

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Nick Hewer has bought a one-way ticket to the 1980s.

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It was every boy's dream to become a train driver when I was growing up.

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By the early 1980s, our railways were the butt of a national joke.

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British Rail intend to maintain their standards, but now for the

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good news... The high-speed advanced passenger train was developed by

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British Rail during the '60s and '70s. It was designed to tilt as it

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went around the many bends of the West Coast Main Line enabling it to

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slash half an hour off the four-and-a-half hour journey time

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from Glasgow to London. It shows the perils of launching a new product

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before it is truly ready. I have come to the Crewe Heritage Centre to

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board the last remaining APT to have been in public service. This man

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spent many years developing state-of-the-art technology. In

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1969, work was started on the project. We built a couple of

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prototype test vehicles, I spent a long time on those. You can see the

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hydraulics tilting over and then going back again. Yeah. But the APT

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was about to be derailed by politics. The Prime Minister,

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Margaret Thatcher, a publicly owned company like British Rail, it was a

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place of waste and inefficiency, as the chairman found out. She didn't

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like the railways. Her general attitude was, if anybody is any

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good, they don't work in a nationalised business. After

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spending ?50 million of taxpayers' cash, or over ?140 million in

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today's money, questions were being asked. Why isn't it ready? So

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against all expert advice, the bosses at British Rail, with the

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Government blaring in their ears, decided to bring the launch forward.

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It was prepared for its maiden departure on the 7th December, 1981.

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The APT sped towards Euston with the sun coming up. Alan Marshall saw

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exactly what was coming down the tracks. Quite a few of the

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journalists had been taken to Glasgow the day before. They went

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into the hotel bar and stayed there rather late and then they got on a

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train and blamed the tilting sensation of the train for them not

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feeling too well. I thought the ride was bumpier than I expected. The

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press dubbed the APT Queasy Rider. It made two Private Eye front

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covers. The papers had a field day. The train suffered frozen pipes and

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brake failure in the freezing midwinter conditions. Will you make

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it to London today? Of course we are. Out of the first six journeys,

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only two reached their destination. Not a drop of tea was spilt. For 40

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minutes, the train didn't move. In PR terms, the launch of the APT was

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a disaster. In a last-ditch attempt to win over the public, British Rail

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made a promotional film with former Blue Peter presenter, Peter Purvis.

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I was aware that people had said it's a bit queasy, absolute

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nonsense. It was a smooth as can be. The technology to my mind was just

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perfection. I have had an excellent breakfast in

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delightful surroundings. Were you riding a revolution every train or a

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white elephant? It was not a white elephant. But he was wrong. More

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problems with the British rail APT, the brakes failed because of the

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cold. After a month in service, the APT was withdrawn indefinitely. But

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there is a twist. The following year, the rights to British Rail's

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APT technology were acquired by the railway division of Fiat, after some

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finessing it was rolled out on the next generation of trains and today

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if you travel on the West Coast Main line it may be an aid helping and

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only no train. -- pendolino. Yes, we bought back our own technology, so

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if anybody should feel sick it's the British taxpayer. Nick is with us

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now. Nick, meet kettle. We are going to stick with PR but we are going to

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France -- Ethel. The French spent 12 billion on new trains. Right. The

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problem is that size matters and they were an inch and a half too

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wide and consequently somebody in France had to go around 1300

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stations chipping off the edge of the platforms. Disastrous. They were

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too wide and unfortunately they were too high. On the Riviera, the

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bridges were too low, so everybody had to get out of the trains into

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Italy and get into another train because somebody hadn't taken

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Netscape major! How can that happen? -- hadn't taken the tape measure.

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What about these guys? Anyone flown to Berlin recently? Brandenburg

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airport, the joy of Germany, it will be when it's finished. 5 billion

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over budget, it was due to open in 2014. They think 2017, perhaps 2019

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and some say that it will never open, 20,000 unresolved problems.

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20,000! Some of them you'll be delighted about. Apparently nobody

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in the airport was advanced enough to switch off the lights, there are

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2000 lights burning day and night and it cost them ?2000 every 12

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hours. The escalators, size matters, they were too short and they had to

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take them away. I love it. Somebody delivered thousands of trees and

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planted them and then they had to be chopped down, the wrong trees. And

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so it goes on. That was a kind of achtung but the PR man was fired for

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being honest, he said he isn't sure that it's never going to open. Let's

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move onto ticket side of things, away from the airport. There's a

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good story. American Airlines aren't alone in making a mess of a

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promotional programme. There is was called the airpass. You give me a

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quarter of ?1 million, they say, and you can fly anywhere you like,

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first-class for as long as you like and as many times as you like. They

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thought that a future if executives would take it up, but essentially

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it's a good PR story -- a few chief executives. One man took it up and

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flew to London 16 times in a month. LAUGHTER

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Clearly he had nowhere to live. I bet you he was Indian! One chap

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apparently flew ?21 million worth of flights, 10 million miles. They

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increased the price, but people kept coming, they increased it again and

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they eventually stopped it. They thought they had better have a look

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and see what's going on and they got in a fraud team. For that 250,000,

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for you, and for 150,000, I could take you. And I'm worth it! Some

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tricky characters, one person was putting people in with fraudulent

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names, he flew a priest to Rome. He sent a mother to see her children

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because one of them had a sniffle. You've got to be very careful with

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these promotional items. A vacuum cleaner manufacturer offered a deal

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where it you buy one, you will fly to Barbados, and they were swamped.

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Nice to see you. Time for Esther to get some help with another one of

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your dilemmas, this one is all about terms of endearment in the

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workplace, isn't that right, petal? Stop it! In the words of our guest,

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how very dare you! Here's an interesting dilemma. There's a

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junior doctor working in hospital and her consultant keeps calling her

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love and sweetheart even in the professional setting. She says she

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finds the name degrading but she hasn't said anything because it may

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damage her career. Should she bring it up? Lex see what the people of

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Rotherham think. -- let's see. Hello, can you help? Hello, can you

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help me? You don't have to talk into it like that. What should she do?

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Don't come and work for me because I do it all the time. The only person

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who pulled me up on it, she was pompous and she was a snub. Does he

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call you sweetheart? He doesn't call me that. What do you think she

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should say? Get on with her life. That's good advice. If the

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individual finds it not appropriate their many to bring it up with their

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boss. I'd pull you to one side and say, listen, I don't like that, but

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I wouldn't be really bothered. Life is too short. Other things to have a

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row about. Do you think she should argue or ignore it? Argue! What did

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you call me? You called me love? Yeah. That's what we are talking

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about, people who call each other love and pet why do they do that?

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You bump into somebody, you say excuse me, sorry, love, it isn't a

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disrespectful thing. When you called me love, I rather liked it! She is a

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colleague, she shouldn't be threatened and she should go quietly

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and say that they don't like him using those terms. It shouldn't

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spoil their relationship. Would you mind? Not at all, no. Some jobs I

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think you should be more professional but at the salon, it is

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totally different, more relaxed. You are gorgeous, far better than on

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television, aren't you lovely? How can she pointed out to her boss?

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Call me by my name, people preferred that. We say sweetheart. Pet. It is

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a term of endearment. Do you think she should approach it? Ignore it.

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No. In Yorkshire we nearly always say love. What does he call you?

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That's for me to know and for you to find out! True!

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Hopefully Esther will be back in Rotherham soon for more dilemmas.

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Catherine, are you a fan of pet names, do you think they are

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appropriate? When your producer was talking to me and said we will do an

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item about terms of endearment in the workplace I said I thought it is

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inappropriate, I don't think it's right. Then I got here, the runner

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said it was nice to meet me and I said OK, thanks, love! LAUGHTER

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I thought, oh, what a hypocrite. I have to say, is one of the first

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things I noticed when I moved to the country, there is a real warmth

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about the terms of endearment, especially up north. Come in, love.

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It is a community thing. The prom season is well underway and we are

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going to meet the young virtuoso with an extraordinary talent. The

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thing is, she is only 11 and was composing music at an age when most

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of us can't even tie our shoelaces. My name is Alma Deutscher, 9/11

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years old, I'm a composer and a pianist and a violinist. I'm going

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to play concert at the Henley Festival. I'm going to play the

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third movement of my violin Concerto with the Welsh National Orchestra.

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I'm going to play with a really amazing singer. Bryn Terfel is a

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novel is -- is an opera singer and I'm excited to share the stage with

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him. When I was little, I didn't even know it was called composing. I

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would just sit down at the piano and I would play the tunes I had in my

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head. When I was five, I started writing things down on paper, not

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just keeping it in my head like I had done before. I had a notebook

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full of my early pieces. This is me Emperor by a man I was quite. --

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improvising when I was four. Since she was small, she has had tunes

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pouring out of her, it wasn't a sudden moment of discovery, it has

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always been there. Here I am very young, so my improvisation is an

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much simpler than now. -- improvisations are much simpler. It

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is fun to look back. I don't go to school because if I went to school I

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would have no time for properly doing music. I learn exactly what I

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would learn and more at home. I have private lessons and I read a lot. I

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also have lots of friends. If I went to school, it would be a waste

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because I would dream 80% of the time. I've got a magic skipping rope

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and I wave it around and sometimes randomly a melody springs into my

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mind and I hurry and record it. I'm glad she spotted that one. I

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think she's an astonishing talent. Technically she's a very fine player

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already at the tender age of 11, I think. But actually is the music she

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writes, it's astonishing for somebody of that age. She has sharp

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ears, she picks up things in rehearsals. I think, OK, wouldn't

:27:12.:27:25.

mind those ears. I would like to have that confidence at her age, she

:27:26.:27:29.

plays the music and writes it as well. A very playful personality,

:27:30.:27:36.

credit to her parents. When you have a special talent in your family, you

:27:37.:27:40.

must nurture it. I had the rehearsal with the orchestra and it was very

:27:41.:27:42.

exciting, listening how it sounds. CLASSICAL MUSIC. Very excited but I

:27:43.:27:55.

get nervous on her behalf. She doesn't get nervous but I get

:27:56.:28:00.

nervous for her. Can I introduce you to Alma Deutscher. I am writing a

:28:01.:28:13.

piano Concerto which is a big project, because it isn't easy. I

:28:14.:28:18.

think I will always be a composer because that's one thing that I

:28:19.:28:22.

really love the most and I would be very unhappy if I couldn't compose.

:28:23.:28:28.

APPLAUSE What an unbelievable talent that is.

:28:29.:28:47.

Incredible. Thank you for the photos you have been sending in, how to

:28:48.:28:51.

cool off in the summer. Just in from the West Midlands is cooling off

:28:52.:28:58.

with his grandson's T Rex. Holly is the dog wearing the Panama. And this

:28:59.:29:02.

from Cheryl with a horse, cooling off. That's all we've got time for

:29:03.:29:08.

tonight. Thank you to Catherine whose live tour kicks off on October

:29:09.:29:18.

the 31st. How much have you enjoyed Ethel's company? I love it. I will

:29:19.:29:23.

be back tomorrow, enjoy the rest of the sunshine. Goodbye for now.

:29:24.:29:36.

As the only female in a hard, tough, very macho world,

:29:37.:29:39.

do you feel any particular sense of pressure

:29:40.:29:42.

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