25/03/2014 The One Show

It is The One Show with two special guests, Miss Piggy and me!

Hello and welcome to The One Show with Matt Baker. And Alex Jones.

Tonight we are joined by two of the most famous nonhuman stars of film

and television, ever. The first may be small and green but he is the

genius of show business. The other is quite frankly the most beautiful

pig that I have ever seen. And you have seen a few! I am beautiful. You

are absolutely right. I did not see you there! I blended right in. You

are going to give me a heart attack! Kermit the frog and Miss Piggy!

Don't worry, Kermit. It is fake frog skin. I was hoping. It is not moist

enough to be real frog. How wonderful it is to have you both

here. I was reading that one of your biggest fears is not to be

recognised, Miss Piggy. Has this happened since you have been back in

Britain? No, it hasn't. I have solved that problem. I wear a mask

of my own face on the back of my head. So people know who it is

whether I am coming or going. Very good. And do you guys know what

Muppet means in the UK? Yes, we have heard the term. Rather derogatory. I

have worked with the Muppets for a long time and I tend to agree! They

are not all the sharpest knife in the drawer. Present company

excluded, of course. You have the most beautiful eyes in real life,

Miss Piggy. So sweet. You see, that's how you compliment a lady,

all right? She not only has them in real life, she has them all the

time. In the new Muppets movie, Kermit's nemesis is Constantine. But

criminals are not always the masterminds they think they are.

Heard about the criminal who held up a shop with his underwear on his

head as a disguised? By the man who robbed a bank with his getaway car

having his own name on the number plate? Crime does not always attract

the smartest candidates. The careers of some criminals have been cut very

short by their own stupidity. Take Matthew Draper from Swansea. He

broke into a car he could not actually drive off in. I think it is

safe to suggest he had not really thought this one through. But our

determined thief was not going to give up. He had a brainwave. He

decided to ask a passing neighbour for help. This is where the car was

parked but he was -- that he was trying to steer. Which car was he

asking you to move? The car here. He was trying to steal a car and get

out this way. Dmitri told his neighbour that somebody was trying

to make off in his car. Unable to drive off, the thief found himself

trapped and surrounded. Dmitri filmed the whole episode. You are

nicked! I started filming it. I called the police and started

filming it. URA photographer. What do you think of this guy who tried

to steal the car? He was crazy. Maybe stupid. And very desperate.

There was only one way Matthew Draper was leaving that car, in

handcuffs. He is now in prison serving a 32 month sentence. Another

criminal thought he had covered his tracks. No fingerprints. Wore a

Balaklava. How embarrassing for him then to be caught out by the fashion

police. Detectives are and Andy Nichol of Kent Police was trying to

catch a gang of robbers terrorising shopkeepers across the south-east of

England. They were terrifying the victims. They stalled scratchcards,

cigarettes and cash to the tune of ?27,000. They wore masks and we

could not identify anybody. The police had nothing to go on until

the police -- criminals got themselves in it. Two of the gang

were arrested on an unrelated matter. We got hold of their phones,

which we examined. On these we found a gold mine of evidence. Some of the

photos on the phones were damning. And more than a little bit

embarrassing as well. One of them was wearing some cartoon pyjamas.

They were blue with sheep all over them. They were distinctive. Those

trousers were actually worn during a robbery in Eastbourne. They have got

a picture of one of the gang wearing them in a home address. The pyjama

wearing rubber, Terry Sullivan, and three other gang members were

sentenced to 40 years in prison. We are always grateful when criminals

implicate themselves through their own vanity and stupidity. It made

our job easier and assisted the court in finding them guilty.

Definitely a few Muppets there. I think you're right. It is lovely to

have a dig around when we get guests on, and see if we can find your

first television appearance. We have found a gem. This is one of

Kermit's first incarnations, as a presenter on American television.

One last question of a political nature, who do you think will be

elected president? What is the first name for president that comes into

your head? Washington. Always a snappy and humorous reply.

You have not changed a bit. That was in 1964 before I started wearing my

pointy colour. You were a political commentator? I was. That guy later

became Hugh Edwards! Miss Piggy, Kermit always strikes me as being

such a level-headed guy. Despite everything that has happened to him

in his career. Does he always keep those web pad on the lily pad? Some

would say he is a tad boring. That is the love of your life. That is

where I come in, to spice things up a little bit. She is one spicy pig.

I call her barbecue in private! I have managed to stay out of trouble

all these years. I was in a Russian Gulag during this film. Which we

will talk about very soon. Before that, another film. You may want to

look away. It involves stuffed animals. Cute teddy bear 's? Let's

watch. I'm Ben Garrard, an evolutionary

biologist with a passion for bones and the stories they can read --

reveal. I build all kinds of skeletons for museums, using bones

to piece together the past. For The One Show I've been given special

permission to examine and reconstruct some unusual remains.

Those of a big cat found in the wilds of Newton Abbot in Devon in

the early 1900. Big cats have been found roaming in the UK. The

dangerous wild animals act of 1976 meant many kept as pets were legally

set free. The passing of the act explains these wildcats. But what

about reports prior to 1976? Where did those cats come from? Wax Blake

is a pH student -- Ph.D. Student in Aberystwyth. We know there have been

a variety of species that have lived here over the years. The most recent

evidences from 1500 years ago when fossil bones are determined to

belong to a links. Be bones are believed to be the first recorded

proof of the existence of big cats in the UK since their extinction.

This is its stuffed skin. Museum records tell us this cat was shot by

a farmer in Newton Abbot after it killed two of his dogs. But tests

have shown it is not a native Eurasian lynx but a Canadian one.

What was a Canadian lynx doing in a Devonshire field? I am trying to

find an answer to that question. This is the first time since 1903

that this skeleton has been laid out in anatomical order. This skeleton

has a lot of clues which tells me about the life of the animal. The

first thing that stands out is how big it is. This is the skull of a

normal house cat. This is the school of the links. That is a heck of a

big animal to be walking around. There are a few cats that have close

this big. These are the tools that do all the killing. There is more to

this predator's story hidden in these bones. It has lost a lot of

teeth in the front. That is not the most interesting part. In the wild,

these cats take them pray. There is lots of meat, lots of bone, lots of

tough, hairy hide. This keeps the teeth cleaned. This build-up is

plaque. This is usually a sign it was a captive animal. In the early

20th century travel menageries were popular in Britain and big cats were

often part of these road shows. But our cat was shot by a farmer. If she

was a captive animal, how did she end up in his gunsight? There are

some interesting things going on. You can see some long toes with some

clause. It is not the same here. You have weird, stubby little triangular

bone here. At some point in this animal's life its toes were cut off.

That is not the saddest thing. The worst thing is when we compare the

tibia. You can see a huge break. This was done not after the animal

died but way before. This is what we called blunt force from. Something

has hit this area so hard the whole bone has snapped. You can tell this

because there are early signs that the bone is trying to reform. You

have this bubbling on the bone which shows it is trying to heal. My best

guess is that this Canadian lynx was badly mistreated, and either escaped

or was cast out from the menagerie. She was doing her very best to

survive in the British countryside when she had a fateful encounter

with a farmer and his dogs. By looking at a pile of old bones I

have been able to unravel an extraordinary 100-year-old tale. And

reveal the hidden history behind this animal.

I think he actually unravel the whole cat! My goodness! I am very

comfortable with my place in the food chain. Remarkable. Sometimes

you never know what is going on inside some animals. If you want to

see more of Ben, the secret of bones is tonight on BBC Two. The Muppet

Show run a highly in their new movie. Before we talk about it,

let's see the moment you guys meet Dominic bad guy.

International tour manager. It is French. It means good man. Listen

up. You are hot. You are having a moment. But what is inevitable about

a moment? Gains. We have to go out there and capitalise on that

moment. I want to conquer the world, do an international tour. Show a

global audience what he can do. The amazing Ricky Gervais 's. He has

been on the show. He has been a fan ever since he was a little boy.

There he was in front of so many Muppets. Did he get starstruck? He

showed up on the set and started laughing. He has a high-pitched

laugh. He did get stroke once by this star. He is not going to make

that mistake again. Be Muppets are on a high at the beginning. Then

Dominic shows up. Then Constantine turns up. That's right. The world's

number If we can just do that... That is

very weird! You look exactly like that other picture. Does that mean,

Miss Piggy, that you also fancy Constantine? Let's get one thing

straight, that was just very good acting, OK? It was very good acting,

I have to pretend to kind of fall for Constantine in this movie.

Because you nearly married him. Kermit is the only frog for me. The

movie was filmed in Britain, and the original Muppet show was... We have

a very long history of being in England, we have many friends from

the old days that we saw during the shooting. We were up at Elstree in

the ATV days. Let's just remind ourselves of those early days.

You are a great bunch, not like the audience last week! They went an

audience, they were a jury! If you don't mind, cousin, I will do

the jokes! They showed a clip of that! If the

Muppet Show came back, who would you love on as guests? We would have to

come up with a whole new list, wouldn't we? I don't know, we try to

get big stars and old friends. I don't think we'd really need any

guest stars. You have become so huge yourself, just interview each other.

With all due respect, I think it would be slow for the audience if we

just sat on camera four hours talking. What are we doing right

now?! Listening, the movie opens this Friday. One of the things

Dominic Badguy steals in the film is a painting with a hidden message on

the back of it. But as Phil Tufnell has found out, great painters were

likely to hide their secret messages in full view, you just have to know

where to look. 16th century Britain was a turbulent

place, religion was a battle ground, disease was rife and queens were

getting their heads chopped off. During these unnerving times, the

artist of the day used subtle clues and symbols to reflect this

uncertainty. The most popular example of this is Hans Holbein's

The Ambassadors, which hangs in the national gallery in London. At first

glance, it is just a portrait of two powerful men. But look closer, and

it is a masterpiece of hidden messages and mind-bending illusions

that have kept experts guessing for centuries. Professor Lisa Jardine

knows some of the secret symbols hidden in this national treasure.

People love mysteries, they love riddles. The two men are looking at

us, saying, solve it, and in the middle of the things they want you

to solve. Where do we start? One of the mysteries is the lute,

beautifully painted, coming out of the picture towards us. Can you see

anything special about it? Not really. It has a broken string. That

meant something was wrong, out of tune. That is a religious

reference, given it is just above the hymnal. Religious imagery is at

the heart of the work. Painted in 1533, the men are French Catholics

in London to negotiate harmony with Henry VIII's increasingly Protestant

England. Can you see right up behind the curtain at the top? Hiding in

the top corner? What is that? It is a crucifix, it might be saying, we

are Catholics but we are not letting on. Or it might say, we are drawing

the curtain on Catholicism. So lots of hidden meanings dotted about. All

over. But the biggest mystery is what looks like a big smudge at the

bottom of the painting. What is this in the foreground? Well, it is a bit

of real show off painting by Holbein. It looks like nothing at

all, as you see it's there, or maybe a couple fish. Yes! But if you go to

a particular spot, you have to sit down, excuse me. You will begin to

see it. The painting's most extraordinary secret is this hidden

skull. He created using an anamorphic technique, so it is only

revealed from one position. It is a shocking reminder of man's

mortality. It is a fantastic way of grabbing at someone's attention. You

move closer to try to figure out what it is, it draws your eye up,

and you want to know what the things are. The anamorphic device showed

off his painterly prowess and gave him an edge over other Renaissance

artists. And now, more than four centuries later, similar techniques

are being applied to advertising. Charlie creates anamorphic adverts

at major sports events. Brand logos look like a distorted smudge to

spectators at the ground, but a carefully positioned TV camera means

viewers at home see a perfect 3D image. Why do grounds want the logo

seen from one specific position? It is a good question, because it is

assumed they want to see it everywhere, but ironically less is

more in this case. It is put in a position where the camera it's that

bit of the page most often, and if we can create that magic 3D effect,

it looks bigger and bolder and gives the sponsor maximum effect. To

create the logo for television, Charlie and his team used cattle

plotting, a specially programmed robot and good old manpower. --

careful plotting. So from the balcony I should see the image

popped out. Yes, if it has worked. If it works, an unrecognisable blog

of colour should turn into a right flourish from the right spot. And

there it is, jumping out. I am impressed to see that Holbein's

optical illusion and, friendly, showing off skills are still working

just as well more than 400 years after he painted The Ambassadors. --

frankly. It worked, look at that! He is here

now, and you have been looking at some precious works of art dating

back to 1984! It is a fantastic book, Miss Piggy's Treasury of art

masterpieces, I have picked out a couple of beauties. Are you into

art? The first one, if I can get it out... It is kind of sticky. We have

another Holbein, if you can see it. It is a portrait of Henry VIII, an

iconic portrait of Henry VIII. Holbein painted it, a very young,

fit chap, about 40, when he had just had a very serious jousting

accident. You forgot to shave that day, too. A little banana in his

year as well. And you have got a lovely one by Gainsborough. This is

a handsome one. Look at that! Oh, yes, he is handsome! The light on

it! Beautiful colours, a smart suit, a merchant's son in the 18th

century, a very handsome chap. Have you got a favourite? The favourite

for me, this is an absolute belter, if I can get it out again, hold on a

minute! It is the birth of Venus by Botticelli. She takes your breath

away! I am strangely attracted to that. On the left, the winds

caressing her hair, just blowing in the wind, beautiful. And on the

right there, the handmaiden covering her modesty. I am sure she is very

modest, too. I could just stare at that for hours. One to finish and?

Of course, a very famous one here, the Mona Lisa. Look at the smile.

Don't the ice just follow you wherever you go? They certainly

follow me! You would never believe that he was into cricket, would

you? Really? I am, too, I like roaches and mosquitoes as well, but

I like crickets. Brilliant! Thanks. Thank you, Phil. I'm not sure that

is what the Director-General had in mind when he said he wanted more art

on the BBC! Our guests have shown you do not have to join the human

race to be a successful broadcaster, and we believe in that the One Show.

When we want to investigate that the ban on fox hunting might be

relaxed, there was only ever going to be one reporter for the job.

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear! Hello, welcome to my country retreat. I

don't know if you've noticed, but since 2004 I've been spending so

much more time in the countryside. However, it looks like things might

be about to change. I need to get to the bottom of this, find out if this

is what people really want! I need to go in disguise, incognito!

They'll never guess it's me! Parliament is debating changes to

the Hunting Act of 2004, changing the number of pounds. I was pleased

when the ban came in, I would like it to stay that way. They are a

complete pest, foxes. Very much against changing foxes, because it

would people like you in jeopardy, and we can't have that. To be honest

with you, all of my friends who are farmers are not fussed about the

amount of boxes on their property. They are more worried about dogs

running wild and scaring sheep. I think it is immoral, I can

understand the killing of animals for food, but I don't see the point

in doing it as a sport. My personal view is that they should be no fox

hunting, especially for people like you, Basil. Are you aware Parliament

is debating some changes to use more than two hounds up to a possible 40,

what you think about that? I think it is fair, they can affect

livestock, chickens, farmers have an issue with that. Some people do not

understand the situation and the whole reason behind it. Is there a

better way of controlling numbers? I think a shot is relatively humane,

it is a bit like the badgers. It is necessary for farming to have a

certain level of cull, it is unfortunate, but your friends are

not always very polite with their eating manners. Lunch later! I think

it is quite unfair on foxes, how would you to be chased around by

dogs? It is quite a cruel way to deal with it. There is very little

you can do with foxes, because they are quite sneaky. We have chickens,

so we have experienced it a bit. It is an emotive issue more than in

other countries. People should be able to control vermin for the

benefit of all of us. Relatives of mine might be safer for a little

while longer. I would hope so! Well, that went well, all in one piece,

everything still there. Porn

That is the other men are redcoats, I did not pay my bill at Butlins!

Goodlad, Basil. The latest on that is that measures to relax the

hunting ban in England and Wales won't now be debated in Parliament

this week. If you are at a loose ends during your stay in London,

Basil will show you a good time, give him a call. I would like to be

shown a good time! Excuse me? You know what, our movie is opening

here, it is called for celebration, Kermit, you should take me out.

Where should I take you? Any expensive restaurant! You could go

to the Shard maybe. OK, yes. That is all we have got time for, thank you

to Kermit and Miss Piggy. We will be back tomorrow, see what seven, good

night. -- see you at seven.