28/06/2011 The One Show

Welcome to The One Show with Alex Jones and Matt Baker. Tonight, with

us is one of the funniest woman in Britain. And she is a bit of an

animal lover. If I had an animal, I would have to be careful. One I had

animals as a child, I loved them a little bit too much. There is a

name for people like me. It is a hamster squeezer. Look at its

little face! Sarah Millican! I love your face in that! You don't

squeeze them that hard? I can't any more. I am banned from pet shops.

It is for the best. We were going through your website earlier. You

have the usual stuff, biography, etc, but then you have one section

that is completely dedicating to the puddings you have eaten

recently. Yes, well, recently, that has been a period of months.

Unbelievably, we scrolled through them. We did not take hour figure

off -- finger off the bottom and it took six minutes. Is there that

many? I feel so proud! What is the connection to you and puddings?

started taking photos. They look so nice and they go so quickly. I just

thought I would take a photograph. People take photos of children and

that and I have no children, I have puddings instead. I take a photo

and I thought, it would be nice to have something on the website that

is not saying, by this, or come to that. Something people can look at.

And salivate over! Exactly. wanted to make you feel at home, so

we have rustled up some puddings. Wow. Are they all for me? You will

be delighted to know... You can share if you like. We have got a

camera as well, so if you want to put this on the website, there you

are. Great, marvellous. And they are really posh. If you love the

pudding or two, how about sending in your photographs of you and your

puddings to: Sarah will salivate over the best at the end of the

show. Feel free to make use of that camera. La cite, our Facebook Page

and e-mail exploded with messages about Katie Hopkins' view on

striking public sector workers. Most were against her, with

Margaret from Lancashire saying 'public workers are hard working

and dedicated to serving the public', Ethel in Paisley saying

'to claim public sector workers are all pen-pushers is wrong and

arrogant', and Martin from Exeter saying what Katie said was

'insulting'. There was some support though, with Theresa from Plymouth

saying 'I wholeheartedly agree, the civil service don't have any idea

about real life.', and Steve from Exmouth saying to strikers 'Get

real, we pay your wages we expect value for money - which I don't

think we get'. Today, we continue the Kent town of the strikes by

talking to those who support the action.

Many of us will be affected, but to his taking the action, why are they

striking, and do they have a point? The issue is that our pensions are

being threatened. These are pensions that we have earned over

years by having below-inflation pay increases. They want me to have

�120 a month of pay cut, with no discernible improvement in

conditions or pensions. Part of the trade-off is that we do not get

paid as well as people and the private sector. But maybe our

pension schemes are a little bit better. We are going to lose a

great deal if we take no action because the Government will be

coming for our pensions. We believe that everybody has the right to a

decent pension. Actually, we're fighting for the private sector

pensions. We think that their pensions should be raised to the

level of hours. We want people to understand the issues. We are

asking for your support today, for the strikes which take place next

Thursday, to defend pensions in the public sector. People are busy,

walking to work in the morning. The idea of somebody shouting through a

speaker, it is a good way to get a message across. We have had a good

response. We have had people coming out from the shops and shaking

their hands at us, honking their horns. The biggest crowd taking

action is teachers. What do you think about the strike? -- the

biggest group. I think it is justified because teachers deserve

every penny they get. They go through a lot of training and they

do not earn a great salary for many years. My child needs to be in

school. What you say to parents whose lives will be made difficult

on Thursday? -- what do you say. have done everything we can to

minimise disruption. Not for a moment will say it is not going to

disrupt them. We have taken the choice to have the strike after the

public examination period. This is not a row with children or parents.

It is with the Government. Many people have no pension. Why should

they care whether you have a pension or not? The future of the

country depends on good teachers. You will only get good teachers if

you award them properly and if you look after them in old age. The

average teacher's pension is about �10,000 a year. That takes them

just above income support. effect of the strikes will be

different around the country. Make sure that you use your local radio

to check what is happening where you are. Many moons ago, you used

to work in a JobCentre. Would you have gone on strike? I do not know,

because I do not know enough of the story. The main thing that affected

me was that the retirement age for women is going to go up. Equality

is important, but I was looking forward to that. Women live longer

than men so why was looking forward to the time when all the men are

dead. I cannot have a cat because my boyfriend is allergic so why was

looking forward to some cat time. But if you eat all these puddings,

who knows? You will be delighted to hear that our inbox is full of

pictures of puddings. Awesome! us talk about your comedy because

you started it as a career relative the later on, so what was the

changed? I had always written, short plays and short films, and it

had always been from a funny point of view. I never thought of

standing up in front of the Room of strangers, but then I got divorced

and I thought, now I can do whatever I like. I felt quite

empowered. Most people get a -- get drunk a lot, but I got in front of

a room of strangers and told them about my life. And you felt quite

at home? The first two-and-a-half minutes, they sat with their arms

crossed, but then I did a joke about my dad and the whole room

laughed. I thought, he might not love me, but the strangers do! It

felt very good. I would recommend it to anybody going through a

divorce. It helps if you're funny, you cannot just be heartbroken.

you were at the Fringe in August. What can people expect? Well, my

show is generally things that have happened to me and it is quite

normal, things that people can identify with. It is usually quite

rude. I have that thing where I am quite filthy. People do not expect

that. Maybe I do not look like I'm going to be filthy. You don't. It

is quite a surprise! I think if people come in, if they have seen

me on TV, because you are not allowed to be rude, you get old

ladies in and they think that she is good and clean, and then they

have a shock. But they still laugh, because they are all just as dirty

as the rest of us. One critic described you as looking like a

Primary School teacher but with a mouth like a biker. I do not know

if that is why I some to -- if that is because I sometimes have facial

hair. Maybe that was not an in mack day. What are your parents think

about this? They are watching today. They will specifically watch a

programme that I am on, but they are already watching this. This

will be the most proud they have ever been of me. Take them a piece

of cake for. That will be nice. you are doing some warm-up date

before Edinburgh. You have been in a curry house? Some alternative

venues. It is a comedy gig, of the curry house. I am not just coming

up to people in the middle of their poppadums and telling them some

jokes about my boyfriend. It is nice, because they are such small

venues, so there might be 50 or 100 seats. It is scarier doing small

rooms. You can see all their faces. Similar to this. The very best.

From one of our leading female comics to one of our leading

businesswomen. Mary Portas, Mary Queen of Shops, is the latest

celebrity brought in by ministers to help shape their policies.

Permission, to save the High Street. She is starting in Peterborough. --

her mission. As the queen of shops, she is the

straight-talking retail group who rescues Britain's failing stories.

In business, you have to be proactive. That is the truth. You

might not like that, but that is not good taste. Now Mary Portas is

the latest celebrity to step onto the political stage, drafted in by

the Prime Minister to carry out a review into our ailing high streets.

She has invited The One Show as she embarks on her first trip as the

retails are. Lovely shop. -- retail Tsar. Is a busy? Businesses

reasonably good. As tough as we expected. What is the point of

this? The point of the report is to look at what the future of our high

streets are -- is going to be. Slowly, we are losing retail from

our high streets, big-name is, small independent names, and for a

number of reasons. I do not know what the answer is. What are you

hoping, to hear what people's complaints are? It is a mix. Today,

I want to look out for issues that are coming up again and again. Rent,

parking, looking and talking to consumers. Why do you not come to

the town centre any more? Where are you shopping? What do you want?

Speaking to the retailers, asking them what they need. Celebrities

and governments have often danced cheek to cheek but while stars may

add sparkle, when it comes to serious policy-making, are they

just window-dressing? Has she been taken on because of her expertise

or because she is a celebrity? fact that she combines a great

knowledge and great experience, a great understanding of the sector

with a high profile, it gives you more bang for your buck. We are not

actually paying her. How much do you think you're a celebrity status

is the reason you last year against your retail expertise? It is a

trade-off. Of course. You need a face to do it. I would like to

think that the face is backed up by some knowledge. Personally, I want

to do it. If my celebrity status helps me to do that, in brilliant,

and it has, because the big brands are saying they want to meet with

me. Of course, Mary was a successful business person before

she became famous. She has got real credibility. Given some of her

clients, can she really give balanced advice? You work for

Westfield and the big out-of-town shopping centres, surely it will be

a conflict of interest? I work for everybody. Our work for global

retailers, out of town, every kind of retail. Will people not think

that she is being employed to draw people out of town and now she is

saying that you should come to the High Street? I am not saying you

should not go to any, I'm saying it is a mix of both. I have always

said that. After meeting Mary, you can tell she has a genuine passion

for what she's doing. In some ways, maybe that is all the Government is

looking for. Before the people on the High Street, it is another --

is it really the answer to their problems? The fact that they are

putting a high-profile person in charge, it shows that they must be

interested. Let us hope that action is taken to echo that. I think the

high street could do with all the help it can get. So many empty

shops in town. It is a shame. They are going to waste. Will the

Government listen to her consultation? If they do, it is a

plus. It it is window-dressing, then everybody's time has been

wasted. This is where the Community should be, this is the heart of

town. When it stops beating, that is a big worry. That is the future,

what is going to happen when the I think it is highly commendable

that something is being done. many of the big retailers are on

the verge of going under? We have got the ones that we already know

about, Woolworths, Jane Norman have just gone, TJ Hughes, a lot of big

ones have gone, but a lot more are in trouble. Comet have announced

their first loss in 16 years. Thorntons, they have been around

for ages, lots of big names. And it is all happening in a relatively

short space of time - why now? Normally the main points are in

March, June, September and December. The big retailers normally pay

their rent quarterly. If you think about the square footage of these

big chains, when it gets to rent day, we could be talking about

hundreds of thousands of pounds. That could be enough to tip it over

the top. In addition, you have got the Internet, new media, this has

affected things so massively. 10% of all retail sales are done on the

Internet, and it is thought that within 10 years, that will

quadruple. But it does take the pleasure out of shopping, doesn't

it? I like touching things, don't you? Yes, when it says, do not

touch! Forget about that! there's some interesting research

which suggests that big chains closing could mean better things

for the small retailers? That's right. Five years ago, the smaller

retailers were dropping like flies, and that has slowed down

considerably. It is all about diversity. All of a sudden, I mean,

how many times now, I went into a florist, and they had a coffee shop

in there as well. These small outlets are diversifying. I thought

you were going to say coffin shop in a florist. You have met -- hit

the nail on the head. A lot of the big stores, they cannot diversify.

You will be back on Thursday, Dom. Yes, I am going to have this column

where I will be answering your consumer conundrums. People have

been ripped off, they have had bad customer service. This is the

address, let me know, and I will try and sort out some of your

problems. As we have seen in the past, Mike Dilger will do anything

to get up close and personal with nature. He decided his next target

would be the spectacular kingfisher, and it would push him to the limits

of his endurance. Along Britain's lowland rivers and

streams lives a tiny bird, the kingfisher. Barely bigger than a

sparrow, it streaks past so fast on its way downstream that all you see

is a flash of blue. When it comes to the kingfisher, I'm going to

need all of my skills in film craft. That includes knowing where to go

and when and how to approach it without scaring it off. To give

myself a fighting chance of seeing one, I have come to meet the world

expert in filming kingfishers. Charlie has filmed almost every

aspect of kingfishers on this West Country river. No-one knows these

birds more intimately. Charlie, wildlife cameraman would always say,

blue whale, Tiger - why Kingfisher? I have just ended up with them.

When I was six or seven, I became obsessed, and I am still stuck with

them 30 years later. What is your favourite halcyon moment with

Kingfisher's? Well, I am a cameraman, so it is quite a

mercenary story. I was filming two females, fighting to the death,

trying to downy each other. And then allowed to have nowhere, a

mink jumped out and grabbed one of them. Unfortunately, that is my

favourite dish kingfisher moment. What makes this Riverso perfect?

has got a perfect mixture of river banks, it is packed with fish, and

then it has got loads of tree cover and branches. It is a mixture of

everything. Charlie has been keeping his eye on a nest hole just

downriver. There has been a female in it for a couple of weeks, and he

thinks that chicks are about to Fletch. It is worth mentioning, he

has a special licence and permission to do this. That's good

news, they have gone. It has obviously been more than a few days.

Is that better or worse for our chances? I think it is better,

because there will be more kingfishers around. One thing

Kingfisher's do has really helped Charlie to film them. They hunt

from a Riverside perch. By carefully placing sticks in the

river, he has been able to capture this year grace and beauty of the

If you go and sit in there... a bit of expert camouflage, and one

of Charlie's makeshift perches, seeing one should be a doddle. All

I have to do now is lie stock-still # No-one to talk with.

# All by myself. # No-one to walk with.

# But I'm happy. # Ain't misbehaving.

# Saving my love for you. I am Hoffman, half Bankside

That was a male Kingfisher. Perched right in front of me, about three

metres in front of my toes. I reckon there's more to come as well.

He didn't see me. Of course there was more to come. But I'm rather

embarrassed to say, after five hours of waiting and lying flat on

my back, well, only Charlie was Absolutely brilliant. I will say in

my defence, I defy anyone to lie like that for five hours, staring

at one twig. But that's your job. But that is actually the third time

you have done it. And it is your job to be funny as well, so come on,

give me your best shot. I did not want to be mean, did you enjoy

watching the film, because that's probably the first time you have

seen Kingfisher's. It has been lovely to meet you, Sarah. In all

seriousness, we all need has and beautifully, some more than others.

But some animals go to sleep in unusual ways. People like you

probably need your regular bedtime. I need about 15 hours. But some

animals are amazing. These dolphins compartmentalise their brains. One

half of the brain is a wake, and the other half is asleep. They do

that because when we are asleep, we are breeding subconsciously, but

dolphins cannot do that, because they would drift down, they would

basically drown, they would not be able to come up for air. I thought

they were supposed to be clever. Can you keep one of your hearts of

your brain open, Sarah? Moving on, swifts are astonishing, the moment

they come out of the nest, they sleep, eat and basically made on

the wing for three years without touching the ground. And they have

lots of little micro-naps as they go. They go the Government up into

the air at night and sleep in these huge vortices. There's nothing to

eat. They go really high so they do not bash into skyscrapers and

things like that. You would be a rubbish Swift, wouldn't you?

would go into the first skyscraper that came towards me. This is a

double act. And of course, back to sleep now. Thank you, good night.

The city of Nottingham is well- known for Robin Hood, its football

teams, and those never-ending roadworks on the M1. But below

ground, there is a different world waiting to be discovered. We sent

Dan Snow to investigate. Nottingham is unique amongst

British cities. Beneath its modern buildings lies a hidden honeycomb

of more than 500 seldom seen and often forgotten man made I have

been invited to this beautiful spot by David walker of a local

archaeology organisation. He has given me this mysterious note - it

says, find me. There is also a key. I genuinely have no idea what I'm

walking into. Wow! Amazing, the brick here just turns into, I think

this is sandstone. It feels a bit like a Cold War bunker down here.

It is a bit strange. Are you David walker? Nice to meet you. So, is

this some kind of Second World War munitions factory, something like

that? In its later life, yes, it was used as an air-raid shelter.

That was in the Second World War. But it has an earlier life as well.

Between about 17 At and 1810, it was a sound mind. The sand down

here is very pure, and therefore ideal for glass production. This

was where they dug out sand to meet the demands of the Industrial

Revolution? That's right, yes. David's team is on a mission to

locate and survey as many of these as they can. They're using laser

technology. They're transforming the caves in to 3D animation.

Scanning these caves took eight days, resulting in 100 separate

scans, each one coloured. We create this detailed archaeological record

which we can keep for posterity and use in the future for monitoring

and measurement. We can make these spaces accessible to people all

over the world. You're creating a virtual replica of this cave system.

That's right. We hope to do as many as possible underneath the city.

digging down, they effectively gained free land. But if the stone

is soft enough to calf by hand, why don't the caves collapse? Because

this sandstone is unique. Here, above and below, you can see huge

deposits of sandstone, and that's why you get very stable caves. This

is one of Nottingham's last remaining medieval properties above

ground. Most have been lost to redevelopment. But thankfully,

below the surface, you can still find some of the city's ancient

architecture. Beneath this bookshop on Castlegate lies a curious

arrangement of rooms, originally carved out of the sandstone more

than 750 years ago. They were rediscovered in the 1960s.

Archaeologist Alan was called in to survive them. The feature behind us

here is the kiln. But there are other bits of the cave, which are

rooms which were used to make beer. It is almost like a medieval

factory. Yes. In its heyday, barley would have been stored in here and

soaked with water from the adjacent well. It would then be spread over

the floor to germinate and finally roasted in the kill. Why on earth

build it so far underground? This is one of the mysteries. Firstly,

it is fireproof, in a city built of timber, largely. And also, it

allowed people to carry on all You just do not know how many caves

there are under this incredible city. How many were filled in to

create the foundations for these buildings? But thank goodness for

this new laser technology, which is allowing us to map in almost

forensic detail had to the caves, so they will be accessible for all

future generations. Here's something else from

Nottinghamshire. This has come in from Angela. We have had loads, so

thanks for all of them. This one came from County Durham. I could