Eau de Gumble Bottersnikes & Gumbles


Eau de Gumble

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A-ha-ha-ha!

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Whoa!

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Ah!

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Ach!

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Ah!

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Ooh! Oh! Go on! Get off!

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He-e-e-e-e...

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-Ooof!

-Oh! Whoa!

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Oah!

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CRITTER CHATTERS

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Yaach! Chilli weed. Always grows here after heavy rain.

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The only thing that keeps it under control is chilli grubs.

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Ooh.

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-Don't!

-TINK GULPS

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Waaaah!

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I like i-i-i-i-t!

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Ugh. Grubs for brains.

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Whoa! Argh. Oof!

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Wahh! Ooh!

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Oof. HE LAUGHS

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Huh? THEY LAUGH

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What you doing there, you grubmuffin?

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Ah! You got grubs!

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Oh, have I got grubs! Look at these jiggly wrigglers.

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Chilli grubs. They pack quite a kick.

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-Go on, I dare you.

-You dare me?

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Well, in that case...

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-Willi, you in?

-Uh... Uh...

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Come on - a dare's a dare!

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Ohh. Mmm.

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Waah!

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THEY SCREAM

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-Huh?

-Whoa!

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Whoa!

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-Arggh!

-What?!

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THEY SCREAM

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THEY SHOUT AND LAUGH

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Don't take this personally, but eyy-oh!

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You stink!

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WILLI SNIFFS

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-Oooh! You too!

-We all stink.

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-Another chilli grub?

-Blech.

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I'm not sure my nostrils can take any more.

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Ah, well, if you're both too scaredy-snike.

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I'm not. Give me a grub!

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Hup!

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Ohhhh! Ooohh!

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Oooh-OOOHHH!

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WOOO!

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Wahay! Waaah! Wooo!

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There's sofa rots around here, somewhere.

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I feel it in my ears.

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-Arrrrgh! Oof!

-Ahh!

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What the bot?!

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A-ha-ha-ha!

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How serendipititious!

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SHE SNIFFS

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What is that disgustable smell?

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It's you!

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You sweaty little squidge blob.

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There you are. Tink, listen, these chilli grubs - you can't eat them!

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Happi, it will have to wait. We've got to find Willi.

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-Come on!

-Waah!

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Wait! Listen!

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Oh, more gumble than grey matter.

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Don't worry, you bilious little stink bomb.

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I won't give you to the king.

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-Eww!

-You're safe with little old Weathersnike.

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Uh! What is she doing?

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Oooh! Eau de gumble.

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SHE LAUGHS

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What are you cackling about, you hocus-pocus woo-peddling old trout.

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HE SNIFFS

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Uhh. What's that smell?

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Smell?

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Yes. Something disgustingly putrid.

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HE SNIFFS

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Mmm. It's you.

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-Oooh.

-FUNKY MUSIC PLAYS

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-Get off!

-Ahh!

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RECORD SCRATCHES

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Oh. Oh.

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Mmm. Weathersnike!

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You stink!

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I know! Get a load of that!

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-HE SNIFFS

-Ahhhh...

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Blob like it! Blob sniff it!

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-Mmm!

-Move over.

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What's with the stink, you old boot?

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Oh, it's just my natural stinky snikeness.

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-Blob want more!

-Get off!

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I'm having a go.

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-I'm such a wumpus. Daring him to eat chilli grubs like that.

-Yup.

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She'll never give him up while he smells like that.

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TINK! Unless!

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Come on, gumblechum. I DARE you to gobble some more chilli grubs.

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Another dare?!

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Now I'm going to have to do it!

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Incoming!

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SQUIDGE! SQUIDGE! SQUIDGE!

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-Enough?

-I reckon we got them all. Snike Hill?

-Snike Hill.

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One now to give us a head start?

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There you are! I've been trying to tell you - stop! No, don't!

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-You can't!

-I think we just did.

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BOTH SCREAM

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Ugh!

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Ooh!

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GRUMBLING

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We've got nails for a smelly lakes night.

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What, for little old me?

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-Phew.

-Can I tempt you with a little festering sofa rot, madam?

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Quick! Before they spot us!

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-Ew!

-Last one each?

-I don't think there's time!

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TINK YELLS

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BOTH YELL

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-Oof!

-Oof!

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Right, it's official - we reek!

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OK, I'll distract Chank, you watch my back.

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Hmm!

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My dear pungent old scrag.

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Oh, you charmer!

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-HE SNIFFS

-Eh?

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Oh!

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Get off me, you old stink stealer!

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I can't! You smell even more horrible-icious than me!

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Argh!

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PANTING

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Hey! My bag!

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-My gumble!

-Gumble! Where?

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Let go, you disgusting old lobster. I want that gumble!

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Any time now, Bounce!

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Sweat for them!

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Argh!

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STRAINING

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Hold on! I'm going in!

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Time to go!

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Did you see their faces?

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Oh! Spitting snikes! What are you doing down there?

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Chilli weed! It's taken over the island!

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-The chilli grubs are the only thing that eats it.

-What?

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-Why didn't you tell us earlier?

-I did!

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I'll fix this, I promise, if it takes me all night.

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-It's no good, Tink. They grow too fast. We need...

-Chilli grubs.

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And we've eaten them all.

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No, we haven't.

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So, come on, who's going to give me a present-ement?

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Box of nails or a bit of old mattress, eh?

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HE GROWLS

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-In return for a little sniff of my toes.

-Let me see - tempting, but no.

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On balance, I'd rather chew off my own limbs.

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Eugh! Argh!

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Our smell's worn off. We need more gumble sweat

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to distract her and get that bucket back.

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Better get sweaty, then, gumble-chum.

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PANTING

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-Uh-uh.

-Oh!

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-BOTH:

-Eugh!

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Oi! You grub-guzzling little...

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gumble-icious squidgy-bab.

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-Gumble at 12 o'clock.

-What? I don't see no clock.

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Would sir and madam like to try a splash?

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What? Blergh!

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What's going on? Grab that snivelling little...

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Argh!

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Weathersnike, my dearest, fetted anchovette,

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look at you - a vision on a bucket.

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What the farty fart is going on here?

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Get that gumble!

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-Have a whiff, Your Malodourousness.

-Argh! Oh!

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Oh! Bring it on, you scaly stinkers!

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Ha-ha!

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You too, pipsquidge!

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-Should we help him?

-Let's gumble.

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GRUNTS AND SNARLS

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STRAINING

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POP Argh!

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Hee-hee!

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Are the grubs OK?

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GRUBS CHIRP

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I thought there were only two left.

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Er, I... I'll explain later.

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-Gumble chums, you're not still cross about the dare?

-No.

-What, then?

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You stink, grub-muffin!

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Seriously, I've smelt nicer things between a snike's toes!

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-Come on, give us a hug!

-Argh!

-Ha-ha-ha-ha!

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You know you want to! You know it's good for you!

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