The Future Is Now Millie Inbetween

I have to pick my exam subjects soon.

Should be easy, right?

Wrong.

Maybe I want to be a firefighter, or an opera singer.

Or a fire-fighting opera singer?

I don't get why I have to decide now.

I'm still working out who I am.

How do I know what I'm going to be?

There. Why can't all decisions be that easy?

Although...

Decisions are hard!

And it feels like my whole life hinges on this one.

I'll ask Mum. Her favourite subject is me.

-Mum?

-Lauren!

Has Lauren turned into anything resembling a human yet?

Well, not since I've known her, no.

Mum, can I talk to you about my subject choices?

And my career? I could be a belly dancer!

Or a rock star, or a snake handler, or...

Those are all jobs Amber's had.

What subjects do you think she did?

I've no idea. And none of those sound like real jobs.

Lauren! Are you ready for school yet?

-What?

-Have you just got up?

No. That would mean actually going to bed.

You haven't been to bed?

I can't cram for my mocks and sleep, Mum!

Right. The most important thing is to not get stressed!

Stressed? I'm not stressed.

I'm just too tired to be stressed!

-Oh. Oh.

-I guess I'll try again later

when she's not orbiting Planet Lauren.

Whoa!

You look uncomfortable.

It's my first day at Electro World.

Cool, you're working in a theme park!

No, love. After years of working for himself,

Tony now has a full-time sales job.

Aye, the manager Jamie is a mate.

I fished his school bag out of the canal when he was eight.

Called in a favour. This is the new Tony, guys.

He has a steady job, a regular wage.

-Drinks his tie?

-Ah, no!

Ah! Um...

It's OK.

-Kind of saw that coming.

-Oh, thank you, love!

-Wish me luck.

-ALL: Good luck!

Thank you.

Heads!

Yes!

Yes.

Lauren's worried she's not ready for her mocks.

OK, people. Take cover.

Whose bright idea was it to call them "mock" exams?

They should be called "literally just as bad as actual exams" exams!

Chill! They only call them mocks because everyone makes fun of them.

Well, my teachers are definitely mocking me!

In history, I'm predicted to get a D!

In maths, I'm predicted not to turn up!

Well, I'm going to show them.

OK, Lauren.

Now, breathe, yeah?

And go to your happy place like I taught you.

HE INHALES

OK, that's your scary vampire place.

I need a brain transplant.

That would be tricky, seeing as you don't actually have one.

I do have a brain.

It just won't let me concentrate on anything for more than two...

Oh, bagels.

OK, why don't I help you revise?

I could cheerlead you to success, yeah?

Give me an L! A! U! R! E! N!

What do you spell?

Resits.

SHE SCREAMS

Lauren!

My future's hanging in the balance,

and Lauren's worrying about exams that don't even count.

I'm going to Dad and Amber's after school,

so I can get the attention and the biscuits I desperately need.

Oh...

-Aw...

-Oh, dear.

Electro World didn't switch you on, then?

Actually, it was a bit SHOCKING.

-Nice!

-Lots of petty rules, though.

Like, "Don't sit on the cookers"

and, "No, you can't watch the football on the plasma screens."

You know those are pretty standard rules for regular jobs?

Oh, and apparently while my tie was smart enough -

thanks for that, love -

the rest of this is just not acceptable.

I'm sure you'll get used to it.

You know, eventually.

-Maybe.

-I know they're right.

A new job, new me.

This baby will have one reliable, smartly dressed, old dad.

Good, cos it's going to have one failure of a big sis!

Hey!

Why would you be a failure?

Are you a bit worried about your mocks, love?

No, Amber. I'm massively worried!

Everything I learned goes right into my brain and then just shoots right

back out again! I don't know what to do!

I'll go put the kettle on, shall I?

Hey, your tea's getting cold.

What good is tea going to do me?!

I can't believe it. She's getting my attention.

Now, do you think you can manage a biscuit?

AND my biscuits!

Ah, Millie. Are you here to support Lauren?

-Support her?

-Well, you've arrived just in time.

Tony's about to impart some top-class dad wisdom.

Millie, come here.

Um.

Well, girls,

the thing with life is,

always make the right choices so you can do the job you love.

That's why I'm here.

I need to make my subject choices.

-The right ones.

-Well, exactly.

-So how did you choose yours?

I flipped a coin.

Can we get back to me now, please? Girl on the brink here.

-Do you want a push over it?

-Millie, I know what you should do.

What? Finally, I'm listening!

Talk to your mum. I mean, she knows you better than anyone.

Yeah. Brilliant.

I'll give that a try.

Again.

-TV:

-'The Suez Canal was built to connect which two bodies of water?'

The Mediterranean Sea and the Red Sea.

'Correct. Who discovered penicillin in 1929?'

Alexander Fleming.

'Correct.

'What is a noble gas?'

A gas that is odourless, colourless and monatomic.

-'Correct.'

-It also makes up Group 18 of the periodic table,

but now I'm just showing off.

Well, don't let me stop you.

How long have you been listening?

Long enough to get evidence that

you're way smarter than you look, sound or even behave.

You don't show that to anyone!

I have a reputation to uphold!

-What reputation?

-Um, I'm in a band?

Everyone knows you can't be smart and in a band!

It never hurt Professor Brian Cox.

All right, name your price.

Oh, I will.

In my own time.

Gah!

-Mum?

-Hm?

I went to Dad and Amber's to get help with my subject choices,

-and Amber said...

-Amber?

-Why didn't you talk to me?

-Well, I wanted to, but we kept getting...

Oh, Mike!

-That.

-Well, I am now officially beyond help!

Yeah, I'm a grown-up and this stuff goes way over my head!

I'm pretty tall. I mean, this might be written in a foreign language!

Well, that one is in Spanish.

Oh, come on. Can't be that bad!

No, it is.

The Haber Process.

Co-le-lay-layvant bonds?

I mean, what does it even mean?

Well, don't ask me!

Oh, wait, they will ask me, in the exams I'm going to fail!

Ha-ha-ha!

-Lauren!

-Lauren!

And I failed to get Mum's attention, again!

Here's my price. Tutor Lauren for her mocks.

That's not blackmail!

That's torture!

Craig's your new tutor.

Um, Millie,

I actually want to pass these exams.

Do it, or I'll tell your band that you're secretly super-smart.

I'm telling you, Craig is secretly super-smart.

'It also makes up Group 18 of the periodic table,

'but now I'm just showing off.'

Fine! But I'm only doing this to save my reputation!

There is no way I am being Craig's student!

OK. Good luck reaching those targets and proving those teachers wrong.

Fine, but I am not asking his permission to go to the loo!

It's amazing what a little embarrassing video can do.

So now I can have Mum all to myself.

My subject advising skills at your service.

No need to ask anyone else.

I figured my subject choices should be related to what career I want.

But I don't know what career I want!

-I hear you.

-What do you think I'd be good at?

Oh! What about running your own business?

Erm...

Well, I know it's not as cool as any of Amber's jobs, but I like it.

Why do you keep mentioning Amber?

Sorry, Mills. I'm obviously not as good at this as I thought I was.

I thought Mum would totally have this.

After all, she's known me my whole life.

You like? I bought it for a job interview years back.

I think we can see that.

Oh, come on. Give us a break. I'm dressing like this for you lot.

Why can't you dress like Spider-Man, then?

Salesman will have to do for now.

And what's Salesman's superpower?

Making things break so that people need to buy new stuff.

Can you sell me...

-..a toaster?

-Prepare to be amazed.

This should be interesting.

Right.

Welcome to Electro World, sir. Now, what would you like for breakfast?

-Toast.

-And would you like to buy a toaster?

No, thank you. Because I already have one.

Ah. The old one's broke, I see.

There you go. 30 quid, please, thank you very much.

I've got to go.

Wow.

-He's good.

-Why isn't he happy, then?

Hurry up. Work your magic.

OK. So, you know what you know.

And you know what you don't know.

But also, you don't know what you do know.

-You know?

-No.

See, Lauren. The mind is a weapon.

And in your case, it needs sharpening.

It's my mocks, Craig. I'm not training to be a ninja!

Right, we'll start with the easy stuff.

HE READS ALOUD

That's easy!

What are the three main causes of death in the Middle Ages?

Oi!

Concentrate!

I don't know. I don't care!

Right, find me Vancouver, Johannesburg and Beijing.

How'd I do?

Wrong.

Wrong!

And, surprise, surprise - wrong.

Let's try chemistry.

-This is fun.

-When you've finished, it should look exactly like this.

-Well, Professor.

-At least you labelled your diagram.

Right, history.

-This is...?

-A hipster.

Abraham Lincoln!

Famous battle in 1836.

The Battle of Britain.

The Alamo, duh!

Famous Scottish queen.

Katniss Everdeen.

Mary, Queen of Scots.

Seriously, Lauren.

Oh! This might be your way, but it's clearly not mine!

Millie, you are breaking so many rules right now.

Of feng shui.

Is that my blender?

I need to work out what career I want.

So, here I am.

Working it out.

-And...?

-I could be an architect.

Isn't it obvious? This isn't to scale, of course,

but your blender's meant to be a giant Jacuzzi.

But instead of all this, why don't you just ask your mum?

That's what Amber said. That Mum knows me better than anyone.

But then I realised that she wants me to work it out for myself.

-Did your mum say that?

-No, because that would be telling me.

Right, time for stress testing.

Maybe you were meant to be an inventor.

-What did I invent?

-Kitchen Jenga!

OK, so I think that rules out architecture.

-Do you have a sec?

-Sure. Could do with a break from my job which is,

according to Millie, no fun.

Well, this is about Millie, actually.

She's using my blender to help make her subject choices.

What's she doing?

It's complicated. Anyway, I told her she should talk to you about it.

Oh, she doesn't want my advice.

She wants Amber's.

That's funny, that's what Amber said, except in reverse.

And what does Amber know?

She told Millie to talk to you because, I quote,

"You know her better than anyone".

Oh.

I always said that Amber was a very sensible lady.

I might have been a bit silly.

I was jealous because I thought she wanted to be like Amber.

Leave it to me. I'll talk to her.

Please don't leave embarrassing stuff like this in my room!

No wonder you can't concentrate or remember anything!

SHE SINGS ALONG

# ..all I want is for you to be near

# You make everything worthwhile

# Without you my heart couldn't smile

# I see the world clearly

# I need you always with me

# Oh, girl... #

There!

What do you think?

-I thought you were supposed to be drawing me.

-I was!

-Oh.

-Oh, I guess I shouldn't pick art, then.

No, no, no. Try again. We've got plenty of time.

Well, I don't! I have to fill in my subject form tonight,

and I still don't have my future mapped out!

You're lucky. You've got it all sorted.

Yeah. I filled mine in as soon as I got it.

I've always known I was going to be a teacher.

Or a vet. Or an Olympic gymnast.

Lisa, I will be there before you know it.

And baby will be delivered safe and sound, OK?

Now, I need you to practise the breathing that we did, OK?

Trust me, I'm a pro. Has anyone seen my phone?

-In your hand.

-Oh, good spot, Millie.

Wow. Amber's job seems kind of exciting.

-And stressful.

-That's what she loves most about it.

-Hey, Tony.

-Hey.

-Did the boss like your suit?

-Ah, I suppose he did.

-Don't be grumpy.

Cheer up, it's pizza night.

I made pizza with our faces on it.

Yours was simples.

Well, you'll have to get rid of the beard.

Why? Pepperoni whiskers are the best bit.

Because I have to get rid of the beard.

Beards put off the customers, apparently.

What if you don't?

Well, then I'll still have a beard.

Excellent.

But I won't have a job.

Not excellent.

My posters?

You vandal!

Oh, chill out. It's only until you ace your mocks.

And I conveniently placed all your study cards where you look most.

Oh, yeah, where would that be?

-My mirror?!

-See?

Education through vanity!

You can deface my posters, but you cannot deface my face!

It's too far! Get out, Craig!

Lauren, your problem isn't knowing the things you already know.

-Don't start this again.

-It's relaxing enough to remember them.

And I, Craig, know the key for you, how to do it.

I don't have time for this!

Sit down and watch.

This is not relaxing!

Now, Lauren, what you're about to see me do will never,

ever happen again.

Not my favourite song.

# Louis Pasteur, he knew his stuff

# Germs and bacteria make you feel rough

# Hearing this you'll remember with ease

# Microorganisms cause diseases

# The germ theory

# It's the germ theory

# Oh, girl

# Henry and Henry Edward and Jane

# Mary and Elizabeth ended their reign

# I'm in the house

# Of Tudor

# Say what?

# I'm a Tudor

# 1485 to 1603

# Six monarchs on the throne but it wasn't meant to be

# I'm a Tudor

# Say what?

# We're the Tudors. #

Let's never speak of this again.

Out!

-Hiya!

-Oh, there you are.

I've been looking for you.

Now, I don't want you worrying about your choices.

It's OK. I think I've worked it out.

-Brilliant!

-I want to be a midwife.

-A midwife?

-Yeah.

It's stressful, but exciting.

-Like Amber?

-Yeah.

That's great!

Now we know you're going to be a cool, New-Age midwife.

You don't need my boring old help.

Excuse me.

What's up with Mum?

I thought she'd be happy that I worked it out for myself.

Well, beard. We had some good times.

And some bad times.

But no matter what, you always kept my face warm.

And fuzzy.

RAZOR WHIRS

Jake?

Trust me... Oh, good, well done!

OK.

-What's going on?

-We're saving the beard.

Your face doesn't make sense without it.

How will we know which end is up?

MOBILE PHONE RINGS

Jamie, listen, mate,

Can you just hold on a second?

-Give me the clippers.

-No.

It's not the beard that should be going, it's Electro World.

That's not what your mum thinks.

She knows that I need a steady job.

Only if it makes you happy.

Look, I promised this baby it'd have a reliable dad.

I'm not quitting over some face fur.

If you do this, you ARE quitting.

Listen to the beard.

Tell him you don't need his job.

We'll live, OK?

'Tony? Tony, will you pick up? Tony?'

Jamie, hi. Um...

Listen, thanks for the job, mate.

But the beard's staying. And I'm not.

-Nice.

-Did somebody call for... Self-Employed Man?

-Oh, yeah!

-Oh, yeah!

Self-Employed Man!

# Louis Pasteur, he knew his stuff

# Germs and bacteria make you feel rough

# Hearing this you'll remember with ease

# Microorganisms cause disease

# I've got the germ theory

# The germ theory

# Oh, girl... #

It worked!

-What?

-History and medicine facts, you just sung them!

And bang on!

-Quick, try another one.

-Um...

Henry and Henry, Edward and Jane,

Mary and Elizabeth ended the reign,

I'm in the House of Tudor.

Say what? I'm a Tudor!

Thanks, Craig! You've saved my exams.

I promise I won't tell anyone that, you know,

you're like a ninja genius.

# I got the germ theory!

# I got the germ theory!

# Oh, girl

# Oh, girl... #

Well, I really wouldn't brag about that.

-Lauren!

-What?

I didn't say I wouldn't tell anyone about your dancing.

# Germ theory

# I got the germ theory!

# Oh, girl

# Oh, girl. #

Oh, no!

If I want to do biology, then I can't do art.

I'm out of time, and I don't know what subjects to choose

or how I've managed to upset Mum!

Is that your subjects form?

No.

Yes.

Maybe I should just forget about a career and jump on a motorbike

and go off travelling. Wait!

It sounds like I want to be Amber, don't I?

Well, why wouldn't you want to be like her?

I mean, she's glamorous and exciting.

And I'm just...boring and normal.

I'm so NOT trying to be like Amber.

I've just spent the last three days driving everyone crazy while trying

to do the right thing and pushing myself to be the best I can be.

Who does that remind you of?

Me.

But I'd have made my decision sooner.

What are you doing? I haven't picked my choices yet.

I know. I trust you.

And you should trust yourself.

It is an important decision, though.

How did you make up your mind?

Uh, I just picked the same thing as

my best friend so we could sit next to each other.

I'm glad you know what you want to be, though.

But if you change your mind, one or ten times, then that is OK with me.

Well, to be honest,

I am having second thoughts about being a midwife.

Maybe a fire-fighting opera singer isn't such a bad idea.