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-Blah, blah, blah. -Blah, blah, blah. | 0:00:02 | 0:00:04 | |
PTERODACTYL SCREECHES | 0:00:06 | 0:00:08 | |
SHARK CRUNCHES | 0:00:10 | 0:00:12 | |
BOY SCREAMS | 0:00:12 | 0:00:14 | |
DRAGON ROARS | 0:00:17 | 0:00:19 | |
ZOMBIE GROANS | 0:00:21 | 0:00:23 | |
BOING | 0:00:25 | 0:00:27 | |
DOG MUNCHES | 0:00:28 | 0:00:30 | |
FAST PIANO MUSIC PLAYS | 0:00:32 | 0:00:35 | |
This is incredible. It should be there but it's not. | 0:00:54 | 0:00:57 | |
Ah, ooh. | 0:00:57 | 0:00:58 | |
I'm sorry, Dr Smashson, your brain appears to be missing. | 0:00:58 | 0:01:01 | |
Ah, ooh, ha. | 0:01:01 | 0:01:03 | |
Don't worry, Dr Smashson, you've coped without it this far, | 0:01:03 | 0:01:06 | |
and besides, that's not why we're here. | 0:01:06 | 0:01:08 | |
I, Stirling Holmes, am here to solve the greatest mystery of all time - | 0:01:08 | 0:01:12 | |
The Strange Case of the Missing Homework. | 0:01:12 | 0:01:14 | |
DUN DUN DUN | 0:01:14 | 0:01:18 | |
Good title. And we're going to solve the case in this house. | 0:01:19 | 0:01:22 | |
-Ha-ha-ha, hoo-hoo-hoo. -OK, Dr Smashson, let's go. | 0:01:22 | 0:01:25 | |
Heh, hoo-hoo-ha-ha-hoo. | 0:01:25 | 0:01:27 | |
Hmm-hmm-hmm-hoo. | 0:01:32 | 0:01:34 | |
You, sir! | 0:01:36 | 0:01:37 | |
I am Stirling Holmes, the greatest detective of all time, | 0:01:37 | 0:01:40 | |
and pieces of the CBBC show The Dog Ate My Homework, | 0:01:40 | 0:01:43 | |
presented by the greatest TV presenter of all time, | 0:01:43 | 0:01:46 | |
have gone missing and I'm not leaving here | 0:01:46 | 0:01:48 | |
until you tell me where the missing pieces are. | 0:01:48 | 0:01:51 | |
What's that? The silent type, eh? | 0:01:51 | 0:01:53 | |
Well, I'm going to look on your personage for clues | 0:01:53 | 0:01:55 | |
and there's nothing you can do about it, because you've not got any arms. | 0:01:55 | 0:01:59 | |
Hoo-hoo-hoo. | 0:01:59 | 0:02:01 | |
Woohoo, hoo-hoo, ha-ha-ha. | 0:02:01 | 0:02:03 | |
Dr Smashson, we must stick to the point | 0:02:03 | 0:02:06 | |
if we're to find these missing clues. | 0:02:06 | 0:02:08 | |
Ha, hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo, hee. | 0:02:08 | 0:02:11 | |
You're right, this is tougher than I expected. There are no clues here. | 0:02:11 | 0:02:14 | |
-Hmm? Hoo. -We need to go further on inside. | 0:02:14 | 0:02:18 | |
HE GRUMBLES | 0:02:18 | 0:02:20 | |
Hoo! | 0:02:21 | 0:02:23 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:02:23 | 0:02:25 | |
OK, it's the point of the show where I get to use a pointy stick - | 0:02:25 | 0:02:28 | |
-it's Stick To The Point. -ANNOUNCER: Stick To The Point. | 0:02:28 | 0:02:32 | |
So listen up, teams, this round moves fast. | 0:02:32 | 0:02:34 | |
I'm going to ask a question. They've got lots of answers | 0:02:34 | 0:02:37 | |
and I want quickfire answers. When I point to you, you have to | 0:02:37 | 0:02:39 | |
give them as quickly as you can, no repeating yourself. | 0:02:39 | 0:02:42 | |
The first topic is "things in the sky". | 0:02:42 | 0:02:45 | |
-Romesh. -Clouds. | 0:02:45 | 0:02:47 | |
-Ooh-hoo! Ashleigh. -Planes. | 0:02:47 | 0:02:49 | |
-James. -Birds. | 0:02:49 | 0:02:52 | |
-Gabriel. -Tree leaves. | 0:02:52 | 0:02:54 | |
-Louisa. -Eggs. -Eggs. -Eggs. | 0:02:54 | 0:02:58 | |
-Eggs. -Eggs. -I support... | 0:02:58 | 0:02:59 | |
A bird flying and then, oopsie, forgot, then drops one. | 0:02:59 | 0:03:03 | |
-Like a... -Eggs. -"Oh, I see somebody I don't like. | 0:03:03 | 0:03:05 | |
"There, have an egg in your face, mate. How do you like that?" | 0:03:05 | 0:03:08 | |
-Chris. -Superman. | 0:03:08 | 0:03:10 | |
-Very good answer. Gold star for a comic book reference. -Yes. | 0:03:10 | 0:03:13 | |
AUDIENCE: Ooh! | 0:03:13 | 0:03:15 | |
-James Acaster. -Hang-glider. | 0:03:15 | 0:03:17 | |
Whoa, it's left of field. | 0:03:17 | 0:03:19 | |
I'm going to give you a gold star, | 0:03:19 | 0:03:21 | |
cos I picture the hang-glider dressed as Superman. | 0:03:21 | 0:03:24 | |
Correct. COOING AND LAUGHTER | 0:03:24 | 0:03:26 | |
-Louisa. -Rain. | 0:03:26 | 0:03:27 | |
Rain, yes, for a very short time and then on your head. | 0:03:27 | 0:03:31 | |
-Chris. -UFOs. | 0:03:31 | 0:03:33 | |
Yes. Romesh. | 0:03:33 | 0:03:35 | |
A lost kite was flying about, bumped into a bird, | 0:03:35 | 0:03:39 | |
-bird got so scared, dropped an egg. -LAUGHTER | 0:03:39 | 0:03:42 | |
Gabriel. | 0:03:42 | 0:03:44 | |
-BUZZER -Oh, shush position, young man. | 0:03:44 | 0:03:47 | |
-Louisa. -Flies. | 0:03:47 | 0:03:48 | |
-Flies. Ashleigh. -Pluto. | 0:03:48 | 0:03:50 | |
-James. -Pie. | 0:03:50 | 0:03:53 | |
-Like the popular phrase... -"..A sky of pie." | 0:03:53 | 0:03:57 | |
-Chris. -My gran skydiving. LAUGHTER | 0:03:57 | 0:04:02 | |
-Romesh. -Chris' gran's parachute. | 0:04:02 | 0:04:05 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:04:05 | 0:04:07 | |
-Ashleigh. -Mars. | 0:04:07 | 0:04:10 | |
-Louisa. -Hmm. | 0:04:10 | 0:04:12 | |
BUZZER | 0:04:12 | 0:04:14 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:04:14 | 0:04:16 | |
Louisa just went... "Nah." | 0:04:16 | 0:04:20 | |
-Ashleigh. -Moon. | 0:04:20 | 0:04:21 | |
-Ashleigh. -Ah, something... | 0:04:21 | 0:04:23 | |
The other planets in the sky. | 0:04:23 | 0:04:25 | |
-BUZZER -Oh, get in the shush position. | 0:04:25 | 0:04:27 | |
-Romesh. -Bats. | 0:04:27 | 0:04:29 | |
Don't know why you were so aggressive with it | 0:04:29 | 0:04:31 | |
-but I'll accept your answer. -Thank you. | 0:04:31 | 0:04:33 | |
-Chris. -Romesh being fired out of a cannon, flying through the sky. | 0:04:33 | 0:04:39 | |
That happened ONCE, all right? | 0:04:39 | 0:04:41 | |
-Chris. -Oh... | 0:04:42 | 0:04:43 | |
Romesh being fired out of a cannon, flying through the sky... | 0:04:43 | 0:04:46 | |
laying an egg. LAUGHTER | 0:04:46 | 0:04:49 | |
-Get in the shush position. -BUZZER | 0:04:49 | 0:04:51 | |
The points go to Louisa's team for that one. | 0:04:51 | 0:04:53 | |
CHEERING | 0:04:53 | 0:04:56 | |
Dr Smashson, look at all these books. | 0:04:59 | 0:05:02 | |
Hoo-hoo-hoo. | 0:05:02 | 0:05:04 | |
And all the history locked inside their pages. | 0:05:04 | 0:05:06 | |
I believe history should be brought back to life | 0:05:06 | 0:05:08 | |
but we need someone who is an incredible actor. | 0:05:08 | 0:05:11 | |
Hoo, ha-ha-ha. | 0:05:11 | 0:05:12 | |
With enough of an ability that a few subtle nuances in performance, | 0:05:12 | 0:05:15 | |
-a simple prop... -Oh-ho! | 0:05:15 | 0:05:18 | |
..can transform into a character from history. | 0:05:18 | 0:05:21 | |
Hmm, hmm, hoo-hoo-hoo. | 0:05:21 | 0:05:23 | |
Dr Smashson, do you know anyone that fits that description? | 0:05:23 | 0:05:28 | |
Oh, ugh, ooh, hoo-hoo. | 0:05:28 | 0:05:32 | |
Of course you don't. | 0:05:32 | 0:05:33 | |
-Anyway, let's talk about the missing homework. -Hoo? | 0:05:33 | 0:05:36 | |
This has got all the hallmarks of evil dog genius Professor Dogiarty. | 0:05:36 | 0:05:40 | |
Ooh-hoo? Ooh. | 0:05:40 | 0:05:42 | |
We must find him. | 0:05:42 | 0:05:45 | |
Ooh-hoo. Hoo? | 0:05:45 | 0:05:48 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:05:48 | 0:05:50 | |
But now it's time for a round that's so good, | 0:05:50 | 0:05:53 | |
it's already gone down in history. | 0:05:53 | 0:05:55 | |
It's time for everyone's favourite part of the show - | 0:05:55 | 0:05:58 | |
it's Who Do You Think I Am? | 0:05:58 | 0:06:00 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:06:00 | 0:06:02 | |
CONTESTANTS GROAN | 0:06:02 | 0:06:05 | |
OK, yes, prepare to be astounded | 0:06:05 | 0:06:07 | |
as I use my incredible acting talent | 0:06:07 | 0:06:09 | |
to bring to life famous characters from the past. | 0:06:09 | 0:06:12 | |
And it's your laughably easy task | 0:06:12 | 0:06:14 | |
to guess which historical figure I've become. Here we go! | 0:06:14 | 0:06:19 | |
CHEERING | 0:06:19 | 0:06:22 | |
OK, here we go, ahem. Get into character. | 0:06:27 | 0:06:31 | |
-ITALIAN ACCENT: -I am an Italian man. | 0:06:31 | 0:06:34 | |
I'm from Italy. | 0:06:34 | 0:06:36 | |
-Are you? -Yes. -Yeah! | 0:06:36 | 0:06:37 | |
-You sound like you're from Estonia. -No, | 0:06:37 | 0:06:39 | |
I sailed across the seas with Santa | 0:06:39 | 0:06:42 | |
-and all my mates are called Maria. -BELLS JINGLE | 0:06:42 | 0:06:45 | |
No, wait, sorry. | 0:06:45 | 0:06:46 | |
Sorry, I sailed across the sea in a ship called the Santa Maria. | 0:06:46 | 0:06:52 | |
-Right. -Oh, right, I get it now. -Right. -Any ideas, guys? | 0:06:52 | 0:06:55 | |
Who am I? Who am I? | 0:06:55 | 0:06:59 | |
-I'm Italian. Italian. -Is it Dumbledore's cousin? | 0:06:59 | 0:07:03 | |
Dumbledore's cousin? | 0:07:03 | 0:07:05 | |
-Well, it could be. -So, you're a woman with a very big beard. | 0:07:05 | 0:07:08 | |
-I'm a man! -Are you a bearded lady, or is that...? | 0:07:08 | 0:07:12 | |
-I'm an Italian man. -That could be...OK. | 0:07:12 | 0:07:15 | |
Here we go. Get back into character, cos otherwise I'll look stupid. | 0:07:15 | 0:07:19 | |
Men peoples think I set out to prove the Earth wasn't flat. | 0:07:19 | 0:07:24 | |
-Right, that-that...nothing there made any sense whatsoever. -No, no. | 0:07:24 | 0:07:28 | |
You're going to have to repeat that. | 0:07:28 | 0:07:29 | |
-Yeah. -Is it because of the beard | 0:07:29 | 0:07:31 | |
-or just because you're not a very good actor? -I got nothing there. | 0:07:31 | 0:07:34 | |
Many peoples think I set out | 0:07:34 | 0:07:38 | |
to prove the world isn't flat. | 0:07:38 | 0:07:41 | |
But I didn't. | 0:07:41 | 0:07:42 | |
I thought the Earth was shaped like a pear | 0:07:42 | 0:07:44 | |
and I was put in charge of many ships. | 0:07:44 | 0:07:47 | |
-Is that a ship? I'm in charge of it. -LAUGHTER | 0:07:47 | 0:07:50 | |
Are you Captain Birdseye? | 0:07:50 | 0:07:53 | |
-I've got a drumstick. No, I'm not him. -Ha-ha-ha! | 0:07:53 | 0:07:56 | |
I'll give you my final clue. So I'm an Italian man. | 0:07:56 | 0:07:59 | |
-That's quite nice. -I'm holding a pear, but why? | 0:07:59 | 0:08:02 | |
Some people say I discovered something | 0:08:02 | 0:08:05 | |
when I was looking for something else. Some say I discovered America. | 0:08:05 | 0:08:08 | |
-I did not discover America. -No, you discovered a pear. | 0:08:08 | 0:08:11 | |
-I have no idea where I'm from right now, OK... -OK. | 0:08:11 | 0:08:14 | |
It was not my fault that it was somewhere else. | 0:08:14 | 0:08:17 | |
It's very confusing when you're going round and round the world | 0:08:17 | 0:08:20 | |
-and it all goes a bit pear-shaped. -Got it. | 0:08:20 | 0:08:22 | |
But my question to you is "Who am I?" | 0:08:22 | 0:08:24 | |
Is it Christopher Columbus? | 0:08:24 | 0:08:26 | |
Let's find out. I can tell you all right now, that I am... | 0:08:26 | 0:08:30 | |
Boo, I'm Christopher Columbus! | 0:08:30 | 0:08:32 | |
-Yes! -Yay! -CHEERING | 0:08:32 | 0:08:35 | |
Yeah! | 0:08:35 | 0:08:36 | |
Italian explorer and master of navigation, | 0:08:38 | 0:08:41 | |
who opened the way for European exploration. | 0:08:41 | 0:08:43 | |
But sadly he didn't discover America as the Vikings got there first - | 0:08:43 | 0:08:48 | |
five centuries earlier. | 0:08:48 | 0:08:50 | |
-Oh, wow. -Did you know that? Madness. | 0:08:50 | 0:08:52 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:08:52 | 0:08:54 | |
-Clue number one. -OK. -OK, here we go. | 0:08:54 | 0:08:57 | |
-HIGH VOICE: -Ah, hee-hee. | 0:08:57 | 0:08:59 | |
I'm one of the most beautiful ladies there's ever been in history. | 0:08:59 | 0:09:06 | |
And I've been played by some of the world's most beautiful actors. | 0:09:06 | 0:09:10 | |
Even now, I'm being personified by the hunk thespian, Iain Stirling. | 0:09:10 | 0:09:15 | |
-LAUGHTER -He's such a good actor. -Hmm. | 0:09:15 | 0:09:18 | |
Who am I? | 0:09:18 | 0:09:19 | |
ALL THREE: Wow. | 0:09:19 | 0:09:22 | |
It...do you know? It's a very similar accent | 0:09:22 | 0:09:24 | |
to the English man that you played. | 0:09:24 | 0:09:27 | |
-Oh, no, this is a beautiful lady accent. -Oh, because of the hair? | 0:09:27 | 0:09:30 | |
-Yes. -Because that's what all women do when they're being a woman. | 0:09:30 | 0:09:34 | |
-Yeah, they do this. -They do that...? | 0:09:34 | 0:09:35 | |
-They walk into home, they go "Hello!" -Could you do...Iain? | 0:09:35 | 0:09:38 | |
-I'm a lady! -Iain, could you do me a favour, just so I...? | 0:09:38 | 0:09:41 | |
Cos I'm just not quite getting it. | 0:09:41 | 0:09:42 | |
Could you just walk around a bit as a woman, | 0:09:42 | 0:09:45 | |
-so I can see how she moves as a woman? -Thanks for asking, Susan. | 0:09:45 | 0:09:50 | |
It's OK. Just give me a... | 0:09:50 | 0:09:52 | |
Oh, hello! I'm a lady! | 0:09:52 | 0:09:56 | |
-Right. -A marching lady. -Right, I'm going to give you clue two. | 0:09:56 | 0:09:59 | |
-Right. -Clue two. -Two. | 0:09:59 | 0:10:01 | |
I'm dead good at make-up but I need someone to practise on. | 0:10:01 | 0:10:05 | |
-Come over here. -Hoo-hoo. -Oh, hello, slave. | 0:10:05 | 0:10:09 | |
-KNOCK ON COCONUT -How are you? Nice to meet you. | 0:10:09 | 0:10:12 | |
-HE GRUMBLES -Don't breathe on me, OK... | 0:10:12 | 0:10:15 | |
What I like best is to use crushed beetles, | 0:10:15 | 0:10:18 | |
and I used to put them on like lipstick. | 0:10:18 | 0:10:22 | |
Bit of crushed beetles there, there you go. | 0:10:22 | 0:10:25 | |
-Crushed beetles on the lips, like that. -Are you Madonna? | 0:10:25 | 0:10:28 | |
-I am not Madonna. -Are Lady Gaga? | 0:10:28 | 0:10:31 | |
-No, I'm not Lady... -Are you Rita Ora? | 0:10:31 | 0:10:32 | |
-Stop mentioning ladies. -No, I've got it, I've got it. | 0:10:32 | 0:10:35 | |
Can you do me a favour, though? Can you try and moonwalk? | 0:10:35 | 0:10:40 | |
-Moonwalk... -That's definitely MJ. If that's not Michael Jackson, | 0:10:40 | 0:10:43 | |
-then I don't know how to play this game. -Yeah. | 0:10:43 | 0:10:45 | |
-Yeah. -Michael Jackson? I'm a lady! -LAUGHTER | 0:10:45 | 0:10:48 | |
-Yeah, yeah, yeah. -Apart from that small, small detail. | 0:10:48 | 0:10:52 | |
-You are Michael Jackson. -I am not Michael Jackson! | 0:10:52 | 0:10:55 | |
I was the first peoples to do this, and hopefully the last. | 0:10:56 | 0:11:01 | |
-IN OWN VOICE: -Stop! I mean, stop finding it funny. | 0:11:01 | 0:11:04 | |
Do you think this is funny, do you? Yeah? | 0:11:04 | 0:11:07 | |
-LAUGHTER -This isn't funny! | 0:11:07 | 0:11:09 | |
What's funny about this? Stop laughing. | 0:11:09 | 0:11:13 | |
This isn't funny. | 0:11:13 | 0:11:16 | |
Iain, are you Davina McCall? | 0:11:16 | 0:11:18 | |
You do look quite like Davina McCall. | 0:11:21 | 0:11:23 | |
Last clue of this section. Here we go... | 0:11:23 | 0:11:26 | |
-WOMAN'S VOICE: -It's rumoured that I may have been bathed in milk. | 0:11:26 | 0:11:30 | |
Oh, milk. | 0:11:30 | 0:11:33 | |
-Milky, milk, milk. -Yeah, yeah. -LAUGHTER | 0:11:33 | 0:11:37 | |
-AS IAIN: -I am so sorry. -AS WOMAN: -Milky, milk, milk. | 0:11:37 | 0:11:41 | |
Who am I? | 0:11:41 | 0:11:43 | |
-OK, hold on, right. Do you think you know who it is, Pavan? -Yeah. | 0:11:43 | 0:11:47 | |
-Do you? Are you confident? -Yeah, yes. Cleopatra. | 0:11:47 | 0:11:50 | |
Oh, I can tell you now that I am in fact... | 0:11:50 | 0:11:54 | |
-Cleopatra! -CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:11:54 | 0:11:57 | |
Thank you Smashy, off you go, mate. Thank you! | 0:11:57 | 0:12:01 | |
Yes, I was Cleopatra, the last ever Queen of Egypt. | 0:12:01 | 0:12:05 | |
MUSIC: Eine Kleine Nachtmusik by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart | 0:12:08 | 0:12:12 | |
# Ha, hoo ha Hoo-hoo-hoo ha hoo ha. # | 0:12:12 | 0:12:16 | |
Dr Smashson, the violin helps me concentrate. | 0:12:16 | 0:12:19 | |
Ha-ha, hoo-hoo-ha. | 0:12:19 | 0:12:22 | |
HE PLAYS VIOLIN | 0:12:23 | 0:12:25 | |
HE PLAYS VIOLIN | 0:12:27 | 0:12:30 | |
# Hoo, hoo-hoo Ha-ha-ha hoo-hoo-hoo... # | 0:12:32 | 0:12:35 | |
-How am I meant to sort this case with all these distractions? -Hmm... | 0:12:37 | 0:12:40 | |
-If it's not you, then it's your partner, Mrs Mashson. -Hmm? Ooh? | 0:12:40 | 0:12:42 | |
Honestly...although I do suppose two heads are better than one. | 0:12:42 | 0:12:47 | |
Mm-hmm, ha-ha-ha. | 0:12:47 | 0:12:49 | |
A one, a two, a one, two, three, four. | 0:12:49 | 0:12:52 | |
# Ha, ha-ha Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha | 0:12:52 | 0:12:55 | |
# Ha, hoo-ha Hoo-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha | 0:12:55 | 0:12:57 | |
# Ha-a-a-oo-ooh. # | 0:12:57 | 0:12:59 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:12:59 | 0:13:03 | |
ANNOUNCER: It's time for Smashy-oke. | 0:13:03 | 0:13:07 | |
-# La-la-la-la-la-la-la. # -Oh... | 0:13:07 | 0:13:10 | |
Guys, what an exciting treat we have in store for you. | 0:13:10 | 0:13:12 | |
Mr Smash is doing some Smashy-oke. | 0:13:12 | 0:13:15 | |
You can get a bonus gold star here | 0:13:15 | 0:13:17 | |
if you can guess what it is Mr Smash is singing. | 0:13:17 | 0:13:21 | |
-You're a very talented singer, aren't you, Mr Smash? -Ha-ra! | 0:13:21 | 0:13:23 | |
OK, Smashy, take it away. | 0:13:23 | 0:13:27 | |
# Ha-ya La-la-la-la-la-la | 0:13:27 | 0:13:30 | |
# Ha, la-ha | 0:13:30 | 0:13:32 | |
# Ha-ha, la-la-la-la-la-la | 0:13:32 | 0:13:35 | |
# Ha, ha, ah-ha-ha | 0:13:35 | 0:13:37 | |
-# Ho-ho-ho-ho-ho, hoo... # -LAUGHTER | 0:13:37 | 0:13:41 | |
# Hoo-ha, hoo-ha | 0:13:41 | 0:13:43 | |
# Hoo-ha, hoo Hiya-ha | 0:13:43 | 0:13:46 | |
# Ha | 0:13:46 | 0:13:48 | |
-HE YODELS LIKE TARZAN -OK, OK, OK. | 0:13:48 | 0:13:51 | |
HE HOWLS | 0:13:51 | 0:13:54 | |
We-we-we got the idea. Thank you. Give it up for Mr Smash, everybody. | 0:13:54 | 0:13:57 | |
-What a lovely little rendition. -CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:13:57 | 0:14:01 | |
Luckily, that is not available for download. | 0:14:01 | 0:14:03 | |
But, Callum's team, quickly, | 0:14:03 | 0:14:05 | |
what do you think Mr Smashy was singing there? | 0:14:05 | 0:14:08 | |
-It-it was actually a song? -It was a song, yeah. -A song, OK. | 0:14:08 | 0:14:12 | |
-Was it his own song? -No, it was a very popular, popular pop hit. | 0:14:12 | 0:14:17 | |
I was just so dazzled by the dance move | 0:14:17 | 0:14:18 | |
-that I wasn't really listening. -Do you want to see the drop again? | 0:14:18 | 0:14:21 | |
-Yes, do it. -Do the drop one more time, please. -Do it, go. | 0:14:21 | 0:14:23 | |
-Go on, do it. Work it. -Whoo! -HE HOWLS | 0:14:23 | 0:14:28 | |
Very gorgeous. All right, I'll have to push you for an answer. | 0:14:28 | 0:14:30 | |
-What is your answer? What you think it was? -OK. | 0:14:30 | 0:14:33 | |
-I'm going to say I Will Always Love You. -I Will Always Love You. | 0:14:33 | 0:14:37 | |
Thank you, Callum. What's your answer? I'm joking. | 0:14:37 | 0:14:41 | |
OK, Grace's team, what are you thinking? | 0:14:41 | 0:14:43 | |
-Hit Me Baby One More Time. -All right, Hit Me Baby One More Time. | 0:14:43 | 0:14:46 | |
Right, Mr Smash, what were you singing? Take it away. | 0:14:46 | 0:14:49 | |
MUSIC: I Knew You Were Trouble by Taylor Swift | 0:14:49 | 0:14:51 | |
# I knew you were trouble when you walked in | 0:14:51 | 0:14:54 | |
-# So shame on me now -Hoo-ha-ha-hoo | 0:14:54 | 0:14:56 | |
-# Flew me to places I'd never been -Ha-hoo-hoo, ha-hoo | 0:14:56 | 0:15:00 | |
# Now I'm lying on the cold, hard ground | 0:15:00 | 0:15:02 | |
-# Oh... # -Ooh, ah! | 0:15:02 | 0:15:05 | |
-Ah! -CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:15:05 | 0:15:08 | |
Give it up for Mr Smash. Good day, sir. Good day, sir. | 0:15:08 | 0:15:11 | |
All right, guys. Well done. | 0:15:14 | 0:15:16 | |
Don't worry, always got the homework from Nina's team. So, Nin... | 0:15:16 | 0:15:19 | |
ANNOUNCER: Schoo-oo-ool Disco. | 0:15:19 | 0:15:21 | |
Classical school disco. | 0:15:21 | 0:15:24 | |
MUSIC: Dance Of The Little Swans by Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky | 0:15:24 | 0:15:28 | |
MUSIC CUTS OUT | 0:15:42 | 0:15:44 | |
Dr Smashson, we are close to solving this case, I can feel it. | 0:15:45 | 0:15:49 | |
I have done some more clues to lead us towards the homework. | 0:15:49 | 0:15:52 | |
I've got a dictionary of unusual words, | 0:15:52 | 0:15:56 | |
a big book of science facts with words blanked out, | 0:15:56 | 0:15:59 | |
and this marker pen. | 0:15:59 | 0:16:01 | |
-I'm sure they will help us solve this case. -Mm-hm. | 0:16:01 | 0:16:05 | |
Dr Smashson, you found another clue. | 0:16:05 | 0:16:09 | |
Let me just check it. | 0:16:09 | 0:16:10 | |
Hmm, yeah, it's still warm. That means Professor Dogiarty | 0:16:10 | 0:16:14 | |
is still in the building. We must find him. | 0:16:14 | 0:16:17 | |
Toilet flushes | 0:16:19 | 0:16:21 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:16:22 | 0:16:25 | |
Next up, it's time to put the fizz into Physics | 0:16:25 | 0:16:27 | |
and the BO into Biology. | 0:16:27 | 0:16:29 | |
-Oh, dear. It's Weird Science. -AUDIENCE GROANS AND LAUGHS | 0:16:29 | 0:16:32 | |
Let's see if you can make sense of these amazing scientific facts. | 0:16:32 | 0:16:35 | |
All you have to do is fill in the blanks. | 0:16:35 | 0:16:37 | |
I want answers that are odd as your Physics teacher's socks | 0:16:37 | 0:16:40 | |
or funnier than a Chemistry teacher's jumper. | 0:16:40 | 0:16:42 | |
Here comes the first fact. | 0:16:42 | 0:16:44 | |
One in three people need to blank after they look at the blank blank. | 0:16:44 | 0:16:48 | |
-Mark. -Need to wee after they look at a waterfall. | 0:16:48 | 0:16:51 | |
-BUZZER -You must... You must be a nightmare to go on holiday with. | 0:16:51 | 0:16:55 | |
Just your girlfriend going, "Oh, what a lovely waterfall." | 0:16:55 | 0:16:58 | |
-You're like, "Yeah, I need to change my trousers." -I need to wee... | 0:16:58 | 0:17:01 | |
-Naomi. -One in three people need to have a little lie down | 0:17:01 | 0:17:04 | |
-and fan themselves after they look at Sam Nixon. -Oh...eh? Cheeky! | 0:17:04 | 0:17:09 | |
If that had been Iain Stirling, you would have got yourself a gold star. | 0:17:09 | 0:17:13 | |
-Oh... -Darn it! -Yes, Nina. -One in three people need to | 0:17:13 | 0:17:16 | |
calm themselves down after they look at Iain Stirling. | 0:17:16 | 0:17:19 | |
-Well done. -Gold star to Nina. | 0:17:19 | 0:17:21 | |
Any more? Luke. | 0:17:21 | 0:17:24 | |
One in three people need to cry after they look at their mirror. | 0:17:24 | 0:17:27 | |
HE SOBS | 0:17:27 | 0:17:30 | |
Ah! | 0:17:30 | 0:17:33 | |
-Got it, come on. -What, what? Dodge, go. | 0:17:33 | 0:17:35 | |
One in three people need to sneeze after they look at the sunshine. | 0:17:35 | 0:17:39 | |
I'm going to give you that. It's one in three people need to sneeze | 0:17:39 | 0:17:42 | |
-after they look at bright light. It's correct. -Yeah! | 0:17:42 | 0:17:44 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:17:44 | 0:17:47 | |
Now, it is time for Say Wha-a-a-at? | 0:17:51 | 0:17:55 | |
ANNOUNCER: Say Wha-a-a-at? | 0:17:55 | 0:17:58 | |
Weird and mysterious words will appear on the screens | 0:17:58 | 0:18:00 | |
and the teams have to tell me what they mean. | 0:18:00 | 0:18:03 | |
A serious bit of bling for the best and funniest guesses. | 0:18:03 | 0:18:07 | |
Right, here we go. Our first one. | 0:18:07 | 0:18:08 | |
Here it is here, but what does it mean? Leah. | 0:18:08 | 0:18:11 | |
-I think it means, like, cos it's got "fart" then "kontrol". -Yeah. | 0:18:11 | 0:18:16 | |
It's when you fart but you keep it, like, on, like, a high pitch. | 0:18:16 | 0:18:19 | |
Instead of going pffffft. It goes pffffff. | 0:18:19 | 0:18:23 | |
So you, sort of, tune yourself. | 0:18:23 | 0:18:26 | |
Whooooo. Like, you can play Let It Go. | 0:18:26 | 0:18:29 | |
Pfft pfft pfft. | 0:18:29 | 0:18:32 | |
-Wait, I know what it is. -What, what is it? | 0:18:32 | 0:18:34 | |
-Am I allowed to buzz the thing? -Buzz in, yeah. | 0:18:34 | 0:18:37 | |
-Yeah, you're in the show, of course... -Can I? -Stop it! | 0:18:37 | 0:18:40 | |
Is it a type of officer | 0:18:40 | 0:18:43 | |
who comes to control the type of...farts | 0:18:43 | 0:18:48 | |
that people are doing? So, it's like, you would call 999. | 0:18:48 | 0:18:54 | |
They'd say, "Which service do you need?" | 0:18:54 | 0:18:56 | |
And you'd say, "I need Fartkontrol." LAUGHTER | 0:18:56 | 0:18:59 | |
-What, like pest control? -Yeah, like pest control. | 0:18:59 | 0:19:02 | |
Like, you'd call the council, but it's like fart control. | 0:19:02 | 0:19:05 | |
-HORN HONKS -Oh, Sam. -Honk honk. | 0:19:05 | 0:19:07 | |
Mine's on similar lines to Dominique's. | 0:19:07 | 0:19:10 | |
You know how, like, NASA has Mission Control? | 0:19:10 | 0:19:14 | |
Ha-ha-ha-ha, yes! | 0:19:14 | 0:19:16 | |
Well, Fartkontrol is the name of the hub. | 0:19:16 | 0:19:19 | |
All farts that have ever happened have been recorded... | 0:19:19 | 0:19:23 | |
in Fartkontrol. | 0:19:23 | 0:19:25 | |
I'm going to give you the answer. | 0:19:25 | 0:19:26 | |
It is a Danish word | 0:19:26 | 0:19:28 | |
-and it means "speed control" in Danish. -Oh... -Ah. | 0:19:28 | 0:19:33 | |
What's that, Sam? How's it pronounced? | 0:19:33 | 0:19:35 | |
-Oh, yeah, how's it pronounced? -Thanks for asking me. | 0:19:35 | 0:19:37 | |
It's pronounced a little something like this. | 0:19:37 | 0:19:40 | |
IN DEEP VOICE: Fartkontrol. | 0:19:40 | 0:19:43 | |
-Ha-ha. -Ha-ha. | 0:19:43 | 0:19:44 | |
Three, two, one, go! What are they drawing? What are they drawing? | 0:19:46 | 0:19:51 | |
A sun. A flower, sunflower. | 0:19:51 | 0:19:54 | |
Fish? A fish? | 0:19:54 | 0:19:56 | |
Projectile vomit. | 0:19:56 | 0:19:58 | |
A man? A parrot? A parrot. | 0:19:58 | 0:20:01 | |
-A parrot. -Parrot, parrot. | 0:20:01 | 0:20:03 | |
-Vomit, vomit parrot. -So why would the parrot vomit? | 0:20:03 | 0:20:06 | |
-Why vomit? -Why would it vomit? -Why would a parrot vomit? | 0:20:06 | 0:20:09 | |
-Sick as a parrot! Sick as a parrot! -Sick as a parrot, correct! | 0:20:09 | 0:20:13 | |
Take them down, take them down. | 0:20:13 | 0:20:14 | |
-Lloyd's team get a point. -CHEERING | 0:20:14 | 0:20:17 | |
OK, here we go. Three, two, one...draw! | 0:20:17 | 0:20:21 | |
-What are they drawing? -OK, erm... | 0:20:21 | 0:20:24 | |
-Oh...oh, oh. -A shoe... | 0:20:24 | 0:20:27 | |
-What's that, then? What is this? -Driving around the bend. | 0:20:27 | 0:20:30 | |
-It's misspelled. -No, it's not round the bend. | 0:20:30 | 0:20:32 | |
-Christmas, something... -Christmas? | 0:20:32 | 0:20:34 | |
-Is that a stocking...face? -What is it? | 0:20:34 | 0:20:37 | |
-What is this? -Sock! It's a sock! | 0:20:37 | 0:20:40 | |
-Where's...? -Sock, sock... | 0:20:40 | 0:20:43 | |
-Foot in the mouth. -Sock! | 0:20:43 | 0:20:45 | |
Sock in the mouth. | 0:20:45 | 0:20:47 | |
Like, the red, the colour red. | 0:20:47 | 0:20:49 | |
You have to be quiet. It's got to be quiet. | 0:20:49 | 0:20:52 | |
Put...a sock in it! Put a sock in it. | 0:20:52 | 0:20:53 | |
-Put a sock in it! -Yes! | 0:20:53 | 0:20:56 | |
Time's up. We've got it right. | 0:20:58 | 0:21:01 | |
Three, two, one...get going! | 0:21:01 | 0:21:03 | |
-Banana! -Banana? -Sunflower, erm... -Tree. | 0:21:06 | 0:21:10 | |
-Tree... -Tree, is it a tree? Is it a jungle tree? -Leaf, tree. | 0:21:10 | 0:21:15 | |
Tree, swan, a bird. I know. | 0:21:15 | 0:21:19 | |
I know, I know, I know. | 0:21:19 | 0:21:21 | |
Feather boa, feather... | 0:21:21 | 0:21:23 | |
-Feathery. -The dove thing? Is it a dove thing? | 0:21:23 | 0:21:26 | |
-Bird. Feather, bird wing. -No, it's not that. | 0:21:26 | 0:21:31 | |
-Birds of a feather! -Yes, Inel! | 0:21:31 | 0:21:33 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:21:33 | 0:21:37 | |
-Birds of a feather. -Birds of a feather? -Ha-ha-ha. | 0:21:37 | 0:21:41 | |
-I've been sick on the page, Johnny. -LAUGHTER | 0:21:41 | 0:21:44 | |
-Sausages. -Hmm-hmm-hmm. | 0:21:46 | 0:21:50 | |
-Underpants. -Hmm. | 0:21:50 | 0:21:54 | |
Volcano. | 0:21:54 | 0:21:57 | |
All of these words are seemingly unconnected | 0:21:57 | 0:21:59 | |
but they're linked in some way. | 0:21:59 | 0:22:03 | |
-Squirrel? -Hoo, hoo, hoo-hoo. | 0:22:03 | 0:22:06 | |
Hmm, I thought I'd solved this case but Professor Dogiarty | 0:22:06 | 0:22:09 | |
seems one step ahead. Come on, let's investigate further. | 0:22:09 | 0:22:13 | |
-Cabbages? -Hmm, blurgh. | 0:22:14 | 0:22:17 | |
Take a thing off of a dad. Name! | 0:22:21 | 0:22:24 | |
-Andy. -What's your word, Andy? | 0:22:24 | 0:22:26 | |
Kebab. LAUGHTER | 0:22:26 | 0:22:28 | |
-What are you having for tea tonight, Andy? -Kebab. -I thought as much. | 0:22:30 | 0:22:34 | |
-Sir, what's your name? -Yossi. -Yossi, what a great name. | 0:22:34 | 0:22:37 | |
-And what's your word? -Antidisestablishmentarianism. | 0:22:37 | 0:22:39 | |
That's easy for you to say. OK... | 0:22:39 | 0:22:42 | |
-What's your name? -Kayla. | 0:22:42 | 0:22:43 | |
-Kayla, what's your word? -Broccoli. | 0:22:43 | 0:22:46 | |
-Ugh. Do you like broccoli? -Yeah. | 0:22:46 | 0:22:49 | |
-No way...how? -Cos I do. | 0:22:49 | 0:22:52 | |
Give me one reason for liking broccoli. | 0:22:52 | 0:22:54 | |
-Because it tastes nice. -It tastes like evil trees. | 0:22:54 | 0:22:58 | |
Coming over. I'm... | 0:22:58 | 0:23:01 | |
-Don't look at my bum! -LAUGHTER | 0:23:01 | 0:23:04 | |
-What's your name? -Erin. | 0:23:04 | 0:23:05 | |
-And what's your word, Erin? -Poppycock. | 0:23:05 | 0:23:08 | |
Poppycock. | 0:23:08 | 0:23:09 | |
-That's a very posh word. Is this your mother? -Yeah. | 0:23:09 | 0:23:13 | |
-What's your name, Mother? -Claire. -What is your word, Claire? | 0:23:13 | 0:23:16 | |
-Scrumptious. -Oh, poppycock, scrumptious. | 0:23:16 | 0:23:20 | |
We're all going to go down the meadow, come on! | 0:23:20 | 0:23:23 | |
-What's your name, buddy? -Marcellus. | 0:23:23 | 0:23:25 | |
Marcellus? I did not see that coming. | 0:23:25 | 0:23:29 | |
Good name. What's your word? | 0:23:29 | 0:23:30 | |
-Erm, swagilicious. -Swagilicious? | 0:23:30 | 0:23:33 | |
We could be like a boy band, couldn't we? | 0:23:33 | 0:23:35 | |
You guys need to cheer up, | 0:23:35 | 0:23:37 | |
we're not going to have a number one looking all miserable and all that. | 0:23:37 | 0:23:40 | |
Oh, aye, it's the old man and the three miserable lads. | 0:23:40 | 0:23:43 | |
Look, come stand here. | 0:23:43 | 0:23:45 | |
Look, go up a bit higher, will you? | 0:23:45 | 0:23:47 | |
-Look, it's me, 50 years ago. -LAUGHTER | 0:23:47 | 0:23:50 | |
-Trendy Dad, what's your name? -Patrick. | 0:23:54 | 0:23:57 | |
You look like Wolverine's dad. | 0:23:57 | 0:24:01 | |
-Are you going to stare at me? -LAUGHTER | 0:24:01 | 0:24:06 | |
-Yes. -I'll not be the first one to blink, young man. | 0:24:07 | 0:24:10 | |
-Daargh! Nightmare! -APPLAUSE | 0:24:14 | 0:24:18 | |
Dr Smashson, now we have all this evidence | 0:24:20 | 0:24:22 | |
we will surely capture Professor Dogiarty. | 0:24:22 | 0:24:24 | |
We just need to make sure none of it is destroyed. | 0:24:24 | 0:24:27 | |
-Achoo! -GNOME SMASHES | 0:24:27 | 0:24:30 | |
Come with me. | 0:24:30 | 0:24:32 | |
OK, guys. I am going to give you a maths problem. | 0:24:34 | 0:24:38 | |
You act it out using your props to try and get the correct answer. | 0:24:38 | 0:24:41 | |
Here we go. Ahem. | 0:24:41 | 0:24:43 | |
Jermain has a feather boa, | 0:24:43 | 0:24:46 | |
-as he's going to a party. -There you go, got one. | 0:24:46 | 0:24:48 | |
Sarah has twice as many feather boas as Jermain, | 0:24:48 | 0:24:51 | |
as she's going to a feather boa festival. | 0:24:51 | 0:24:54 | |
Katherine has two more feather boas | 0:24:54 | 0:24:56 | |
than Jermain and Sarah put together. | 0:24:56 | 0:24:58 | |
She didn't get invited to the festival but wants to show | 0:24:58 | 0:25:01 | |
she doesn't need other people to have fun with some feather boas. | 0:25:01 | 0:25:04 | |
Percelle needs to take a massive pencil into school | 0:25:04 | 0:25:07 | |
so that he can doodle cats whilst the teacher is talking. | 0:25:07 | 0:25:10 | |
Mizzi needs twice as many pencils, as she likes to doodle | 0:25:10 | 0:25:12 | |
even bigger cats than Percelle. | 0:25:12 | 0:25:14 | |
Susan needs to take one more pencil than Mizzi - | 0:25:14 | 0:25:17 | |
two for doodling and one to use as a stake, | 0:25:17 | 0:25:19 | |
in case of a vampire attack. | 0:25:19 | 0:25:22 | |
Susan does not like vampires. | 0:25:22 | 0:25:25 | |
Michael has two gnomes, | 0:25:25 | 0:25:26 | |
which will hopefully scare off his neighbour's dog. | 0:25:26 | 0:25:29 | |
Nihal has no gnomes because he thinks they look weird. | 0:25:29 | 0:25:32 | |
Bobby has three gnomes more then Michael | 0:25:32 | 0:25:34 | |
because he thinks Nihal looks weird and wants to scare him off. | 0:25:34 | 0:25:38 | |
JP notices it might rain so takes an umbrella. | 0:25:38 | 0:25:42 | |
Dan is also worried about the rain, | 0:25:42 | 0:25:43 | |
so takes three times as many umbrellas as JP. | 0:25:43 | 0:25:46 | |
But because he's a nice guy, | 0:25:46 | 0:25:47 | |
-he shares those umbrellas between his team-mates. -Here you are. | 0:25:47 | 0:25:51 | |
Percelle has History, | 0:25:51 | 0:25:53 | |
so takes a pair of glasses so that he can see the board. | 0:25:53 | 0:25:55 | |
Mizzi sits twice as far away from Percelle, | 0:25:55 | 0:25:57 | |
so needs twice as many pairs of glasses. | 0:25:57 | 0:26:00 | |
Susan takes four times as many glasses as Percelle. | 0:26:00 | 0:26:03 | |
She wears one pair to look cool, | 0:26:03 | 0:26:05 | |
keeps one pair to use as a disguise in case of a vampire attack, | 0:26:05 | 0:26:08 | |
and gives the other pairs to her team-mates, to keep them safe too. | 0:26:08 | 0:26:12 | |
She picks up the thing that fell off of her head. | 0:26:12 | 0:26:16 | |
Michael has two giant foam hands, one for each hand. | 0:26:16 | 0:26:20 | |
Bobby has twice as many foam hands as Michael - | 0:26:20 | 0:26:23 | |
one on each hand and one on each foot. | 0:26:23 | 0:26:28 | |
Nihal has half as many foam hands as Michael, times two, | 0:26:29 | 0:26:33 | |
plus an extra two, plus an extra three, | 0:26:33 | 0:26:36 | |
minus one, and then halved. | 0:26:36 | 0:26:38 | |
-You know... -On you go, Nihal. -CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:26:38 | 0:26:42 | |
-Ah! -Grr. -Professor Dogiarty... and the missing homework. | 0:26:47 | 0:26:51 | |
We've caught you red-handed, or should I say, red-PAWED. | 0:26:51 | 0:26:55 | |
Hand it over, come on. Give it here. | 0:26:55 | 0:26:59 | |
-Dr Smashson, please look after that. -Mm-hm. | 0:26:59 | 0:27:03 | |
-I think we can consider... -Grr. | 0:27:03 | 0:27:05 | |
..The Strange Case of the Missing Homework solved. | 0:27:05 | 0:27:07 | |
And you, sir, are going to the doghouse. | 0:27:07 | 0:27:10 | |
-SMASHSON MUNCHES -What do you mean, no, you're not? | 0:27:10 | 0:27:14 | |
The evidence is in the safe hands of Dr Smashson. | 0:27:14 | 0:27:18 | |
DOGIARTY GIGGLES | 0:27:18 | 0:27:20 | |
the evidence is in the safe mouth of Dr Smashson. | 0:27:20 | 0:27:23 | |
HE GULPS AND BELCHES | 0:27:23 | 0:27:26 | |
The evidence is in the stomach of Dr Smashson. | 0:27:26 | 0:27:28 | |
Now, this is awkward, now, cos we're going to end it on... | 0:27:28 | 0:27:32 | |
Just have to end the show. | 0:27:32 | 0:27:34 | |
-See you all next time on... -..Hoo-ha-ha-hoo-hoo. | 0:27:34 | 0:27:37 | |
-The Dog Ate My Homework. -Hoo-hoo. | 0:27:37 | 0:27:40 | |
See you! (You're an idiot.) | 0:27:40 | 0:27:42 |