Canvassing Parks and Recreation

One of the funner things we do in Pawnee is the Easter egg hunt.

Tom hides the eggs,

and I have to say, he did an exceptional job this year.

I've been searching for 25 minutes

and I haven't found one. And I'm an adult.

Ooh! Yeah, I forgot to do that.

Maybe Tom's trying to make this year a challenge. If so, he's succeeding.

I don't think a single egg has been found yet.

Let's keep looking. We're going to find one.

'I'm going to see my mom.

'She's a big mucky-muck in the county school system.

'She's my hero.

'How do I explain her? She's...'

as respected as Mother Teresa,

she's as powerful as Stalin,

and she's as beautiful as Margaret Thatcher.

-In or out, Leslie. Doorway is creepy.

-Right, sorry.

Choosing in.

So, what do you want, Leslie?

Just here to gossip, gab, chat. Stuff we do.

But it looks like you're super-busy. And I am super-busy,

so I shall bid you adieu.

Oh! That's weird. I just remembered something.

I have my own subcommittee now.

Yeah. I'm sure you've heard something. People are talking.

No.

We're having a town hall meeting tomorrow at 7pm,

at the Smithfield Community Center.

Yeah, I'm leading it. It's no biggy.

I mean, it is. It's a big deal...

I don't know, I mean, you know...

Want to come?

Oh. Honey, jeez, you know how busy I am.

I know. I know.

That's why I fake-invited you.

SHE LAUGHS

I'll try to be there.

OK, so everybody's here. Let's get started.

-LOUD CLANG

-Ow!

-I'm sorry.

-Metal. Sorry.

-It was really loud.

Subcommittee members, are we prepared for tomorrow night?

-Have you booked the hall yet?

-Yes, sir.

-Ann, did you clear your schedule?

-I did. I changed my shift.

Leslie, I just have to say

I think you might be taking this to the public a little bit too soon.

It doesn't matter what you propose to the public,

they might call for a vote. If they vote you down, then you're done.

I don't care if there's going to be a vote. I have a secret weapon.

Canvassing.

Nothing better than good old-fashioned door-to-door campaigning.

I'm not above using my expertise

to change hearts and minds if the cause is just.

When I was in sixth grade, I was voted best-dressed by 87 votes.

And there were only 63 people in my class.

Andy fell into that pit.

I fell into that pit.

How many more Pawnee citizens have to fall into that pit

before we turn it to park?

Zero. Say it.

-Zero.

-Zero.

-100.

I've got some sunscreen for your beaks.

Tom, you probably won't need any.

And this is our canvassing guide.

This is going to be the script that we use when we speak with people.

"If the person is a man, turn to page two."

"If the person looks like a celebrity... Example: Jack Nicholson,

"Use this to help your pitch.

"Example: You can't handle the pit.

"That's why we need to turn it into a park."

This is really thorough.

Ann and I are a team. You too. We have even sectors.

You have odd sectors. And we're going to win.

Win what?

Go!

Someone's in there.

-This is going to be fun. Excited?

-Yeah.

-Ready? Are you pumped up?

-Yes.

Look humble...but confident.

Good afternoon. We are representatives from your local government.

-May we speak with you about the Sullivan Street pit?

-Sure.

Excellent. Positive response.

How would you feel if we turned that pit into a beautiful community park?

Yeah, that would be a great idea.

Good, I live in the neighbourhood,

so I could probably tell you a little bit about...

Section three.

OK. Um...we are having a public forum tomorrow night.

And it would be great if you could come voice your strong support.

Tomorrow? I can't. I'm busy. Sorry.

We understand that people are busy, but we would love you to come to...

Sorry. Good luck, though. I'm all for a park.

-Would it change if we told you that...?

-She's gone.

Yeah, a park. That sounds like a really good idea.

-Great. Would you be willing to come to a town meeting and show your support?

-Absolutely.

Now, is this park going to have a playground or a pool for the kids?

How old are your kids?

No kids.

Uh-oh.

-I'll put him down as a yes.

-Don't.

Also is the park going to be at least 1,000 feet from my house?

Because, yeah, I really can't move again.

April, please stand behind me.

That's it. That's all that we got.

-No flier?

-Nope.

-OK. Thank you.

Man, this is great.

This is so great. I love canvassing. What a great way to spend my time.

All right, team Haverford, you guys are awesome,

but I think I might work better as a solo artist,

so I'm going to head out. Peace.

-He runs weird.

-He really does.

It's a good idea.

But I'm just not sure.

OK, which part are you not sure about?

Turning the pit into a park.

That's kind of the whole thing.

I think this is a great idea but I can't make any forum.

-I would have to get a baby-sitter.

-How old are your kids?

-Four and two.

-Could the four-year-old watch the two-year-old?

-OK.

Mickey! What's up, buddy?

How's my number one sod man doing?

Here's the one, two, three of the situation.

One - we're building a new park. Two - I'm on the committee.

There - you're putting in the sod.

Maybe down the line, situation'll arise where you could hook me up.

Are you going to commit to coming to this forum or are you a bitch?

Yes, you do owe me. Tom Haverford.

OK, keep going. Keep moving.

Nose to the grindstone. No means yes.

Can we stop, please? It's really hot and I'm tired.

Yeah, I'm hot too.

Let's blow in each other's faces.

-Or we could drink some water.

-Let's do that.

My house is really close by. Let's go take a break for an hour or so.

OK. Look, I didn't want it to have to come to this, but, Ann,

please open the sealed envelope that's in your binder.

This is a little something I learned from Karl Rove.

If you want to guarantee the results of a survey,

you design the question to give you the answer that you want.

"Wouldn't you rather have a park

"than a storage facility for nuclear waste?" That seems iffy.

Don't worry. I made it all up. Yeah, that's what I mean.

Wouldn't you agree, like most decent Americans,

that it would be a good idea to turn the abandoned lot on Sullivan Street

into a beautiful community park?

Oh. Actually, no.

I'm not really a fan of parks.

Very noisy. Barbecue smell all the time.

Would you change your mind if I told you

that nine out of ten meth users said the same exact thing?

What?

How would you even know that?

Survey.

We surveyed crystal meth users.

We're actually having a little town meeting tomorrow night

if you wanted to...

I know it sounds weird but I just don't like living near parks.

So do you have a flier or something? I'd be happy to take it.

Thank you.

You don't care about your kids if you don't support this park.

Excuse me?!

It's... what I mean is, kids love parks

..and you should too.

So if I don't support your project, then I don't love my daughter?

-I didn't...

-What time is this thing anyway?

-It's next month. Forget it.

-It's tomorrow night. I'll be there.

Great.

-OK, come on.

-We got one.

Am I talking to the two sexiest thighs in landscaping?

Yes, I am, cos I'm talking to Marcy. How's it going? Tom Haverford.

Kevin, your sandboxes are the best. That's why I want you involved.

I want the best monkey bars in my park. I don't mind hooking you up.

Maybe down the line, there will be a situation where you can hook me up.

Thank you for your time, sir.

He said some upsetting things.

I can't believe you gave him your home phone number.

Well, I'm a public servant. I need to be accessible.

What the hell is wrong with people?

I should show them Andy's medical bills.

-Maybe they'd have a little sympathy.

-Oh, my God.

-Ann, game changer. You busted the game wide open.

-How?

Andy! We need Andy. He's our symbol.

Wheel him around the neighbourhood to get sympathy. He's a cute FDR.

-Yeah!

-Yeah!

-Ron, You got a minute?

-Sure, Paul. What can I do for you?

Sullivan Street park project, you fast-tracked it, right?

Yeah, absolutely. We have a public forum tomorrow.

-OK, great. I'll be there.

-Great.

"You fast-tracked that, right?"

I'm sorry.

Did you say something?

Nope.

You didn't say anything to me?

Nope.

There's a new wind blowing in government, and I don't like it.

All of a sudden, there's all this federal money coming in,

and Paul, the city manager, is telling us to build parks,

start new community programmes.

It's horrifying.

-Do you have, like, a nurse's costume?

-Costume? Like scrubs?

Yeah, put those on.

LOUD TUNELESS ROCK VOCAL: # Please tell me! Please tell me whyyyy...

# My car is in the front yard #

Bass, come on!

# And I'm sleeping with my clothes on

# I came in through the window last night... #

-It can be tricky...

-Don't.

'Why do I want to build this park so bad?

'Maybe because a pit filled with garbage

'isn't the best we can do in America.'

You know, in Russia they could pretend that pit was a park.

Bring their kids down there.

"Hey, Vlad! Look at these rocks. Let's pretend they're potatoes.

"Nikolai, do you want to swim in the dirt?"

But not here.

OK? Cos we're a nation of dreamers.

And it is my dream

to build a park...

..that I one day visit with my White House staff on my birthday.

And they say, "President Knope...

"this park is awesome.

"Now we understand why you are the first female President of the United States."

Leslie Knope.

Builder of parks.

How was canvassing? Canvassing was...OK.

But...I think we're going to have to postpone the town meeting.

Postpone?

Only for one to 90 days.

No, you're doing this meeting. You have my full support.

I was talking to the city manager,

exchanging ideas.

There's a mutual respect there.

And, together, we have decided to fast-track your project.

City manager? Wow! Really?

I have to cancel this meeting. Fast-track?

Did my name come up at all?

-This meeting needs to be cancelled.

-No, it's happening.

Look, just...

Just do a good job tomorrow. We have to push this thing through.

Of course. I'll push anything through anything. You know me.

-Are you sweating through your suit?

-I doubt it.

It's a very breathable fabr... Yeah, I am.

Jerry, what's up, man?

You're into pretzels, right? Bam!

Hit 'em up. Thanks for coming down. I got a seat for you over there.

My top priority - getting your fences in there.

I drove your fences the other day. I was, "That's awesome".

"Of course, Roy's."

If you're into chocolate muffins, grab all you want.

Some people may say that bringing in these contractors this early

is jumping the gun.

Well, guess what? Here's the gun. Here's me. Boom.

Victor Miles,

Tom Haverford. How are you? Thank you so much for coming down.

I want to introduce you to Leslie.

-Victor Miles.

-Hi.

He's a gentleman I met canvassing.

He also happens to be the top sod guy in Indiana.

-That's terrific.

-Hey, Leslie. Hey.

I really want you to nail this.

Don from Don's Cement, Tom Haverford. Good to see you.

Thinking of a jingle for your company. How's this?

# Don's Cement is the best you can get

# Don's! #

-Oh, I'm so glad you're here.

-Andy came too to give support.

-I have a lot of stage experience...

-This will be fine, right?

It's a park, for God's sakes. How much can they hate a park?

A lot of them seemed to hate a park yesterday.

April, I need you in the audience.

Wait. If the questions start getting negative,

-I need you to sell the crap out of the park. Can you do that?

-Why?

Please, this is serious.

-Can you do that?

-Probably.

Good girl. Good girl.

Good probably. Good girl. OK. Here we go. Line up, everybody.

My mom's here.

My mom's here...

My mom's here.

No. I can't do that.

That's illegal.

Thank you so much for coming out tonight.

This is our first town meeting about the proposal to turn

lot 48 on Sullivan Street into a community park.

Yeah!

This is going to be a train wreck.

I want my daughter to be successful.

Which is why I always tell her,

"There's nothing wrong with being a wife and mother."

Now, there are many people that I spoke to

who are passionately in support of this idea.

None of them were able to make it tonight, unfortunately.

But...

they totally exist.

I did not make them up.

I see a question. OK. No, no.

-No questions.

-My name is Kate Speevack.

-I remember you.

-And I live in the neighbourhood.

And I am 100%

against this park.

I cannot believe the department is moving forward with a project

without a single environmental impact study.

And if you guys agree with me, let's take a stand!

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

We are a little ahead of schedule

because we're holding this town hall meeting so soon.

Which I was warned about by Mark Brendanawicz,

our city planner assigned to this project.

So, what would he say?

Here we are.

Leslie...should I give them some background info on the site?

Absolutely. OK.

Mark Brendanawicz knows the answer to every question.

He's amazing and congratulations for hearing him speak.

Hi, there. Leslie might have oversold me a little bit.

Certainly did not. He's the man. He's capable of anything.

Lot 48 is...

It's a rectangular lot.

It's got excellent drainage

and it's on the corner of Sullivan and Collins. Any questions?

-I have a comment, not a question.

-Go.

-It's for the guy in the casts.

Here we go. Lawrence.

Yes, yes, yes! That is Andy Dwyer.

He is a local resident and he tragically fell in the pit.

Yeah, I don't care about any of that.

He's the guy that plays music all night in his garage. It's driving me nuts.

Lawrence lives with... his grandma.

Which is pretty awesome.

He takes care of her, I guess. But whatever. He's a douche bag.

It's loud. It's abusive. And it's waking up my birds.

You have birds now?

Yeah, I have birds. I have nice, pretty, expensive birds.

And you play that music and it wakes them up.

Look, I don't work for the government.

I do play rock 'n' roll. Guilty as charged.

I'm in a band. It's called Just The Tip.

And, actually, if anyone here plays bass, we need a bassist.

Yes. OK. Let's take a five-minute break, shall we?

It is not...going well at all. It's going very poorly. OK.

-Like, you're crashing and burning.

-Democracy's happening.

People are talking. I mean, at least they aren't apathetic, right?

You're right about that. They're deeply negative.

You need to put a happy face on this,

give me a few positive talking points.

And whatever you do, avoid a vote.

I'm oddly attracted to Kate Speevack.

Ugh!

Before we continue,

I'd love to just give you a little history of Pawnee.

The city of Pawnee was incorporated in 1817

when a young man by the name of Reverend Luther Howell

came from Terre Haute on an ox.

He planted his flag in the ground and was met soon after

by an angry tribe of Wamapoke Indians,

who, when seeing the whiteness of his skin,

twisted him to death.

Flash forward to 1969.

Man walks on the moon. Pawnee is lousy with hippies...

My God, she's filibustering her own meeting.

Filibuster! Boom!

They can't touch you if you talk for ever.

I can't speak of the future.

But I will.

The future of Pawnee will involve us flying around in space taxis,

where we will communicate on watches...

..and blink our feelings to each other,

rather than use words.

And now I'd like to take a magical journey through...

a little something I like to call The Phantom Tollbooth

-by Norton Juster.

-Excuse me, can't you read

-that children's book on your own time?

-I have the floor.

"There once was a boy named Milo

"who didn't know what to do with himself.

"Not just sometimes, but always..."

You know what? This is a public forum,

which means that we all get to tell you what we think.

Well, you did already talk, ma'am.

And I'd love to listen to someone else, someone I don't know.

That girl, long brown hair and yellow top.

Could you tell us how you feel about this park?

-Go ahead.

-Hi.

I'm a youth in the community

and I think a new park is a great idea.

And I fully support it, as would the rest of the youth in the community.

Hey! I recognise her.

-That kid came to my door yesterday.

-Oh, my God.

They have planted people in this audience.

Unbelievable!

We all agree that this park is a bad idea. We should just take a vote.

OK. We will take a vote. Before we do that,

I want everyone up, lined up behind that microphone.

I want to hear from all of you, one by one.

'That was brutal.

'A couple weeks ago, I was yelling at Leslie at a public forum.

'God, I hope I wasn't as obnoxious as those people.'

I wasn't, right?

At five in the morning, every morning - beep, beep! I don't want to hear that.

How long is this project going to take?

That's what I want to know, what's important to me.

-I need my sleep.

-Thank you, ma'am. That concludes our meeting.

-What about the vote?

-We're out of time.

It's nine o'clock.

But we will have many public forums in the future

and we hope to see you all there. Thank you so much for coming.

'It was tough.

'But, you know, that's Pawnee. That's democracy.

'A lot of people want this park. You just gotta get past the negative people.'

But guess what?

My subcommittee held its first town hall meeting tonight.

God, I loved it.

I loved every minute of it.

-Hey, park lady.

-Yeah?

You suck.

Hear that? He called me "park lady".

Normally I don't agree with Leslie about anything

but this book is awesome.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd