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This programme contains some strong language. | 0:00:02 | 0:00:04 | |
My name is Mawaan Rizwan. I was brought up in a religious family. | 0:00:04 | 0:00:07 | |
I'm not practising | 0:00:07 | 0:00:08 | |
and I would say I don't necessarily believe in God. | 0:00:08 | 0:00:11 | |
But I am curious to know if there is some kind of higher being. | 0:00:11 | 0:00:15 | |
Is there something more to life? | 0:00:17 | 0:00:19 | |
I've heard that some people are looking for answers through taking | 0:00:19 | 0:00:22 | |
traditional medicines. | 0:00:22 | 0:00:25 | |
Basically, powerful hallucinogenic drugs. | 0:00:25 | 0:00:28 | |
I'm off to the American wilderness to meet a medicine man who uses the | 0:00:29 | 0:00:33 | |
ancient drug peyote, one of the most powerful hallucinogenics on earth. | 0:00:33 | 0:00:37 | |
Oh! | 0:00:37 | 0:00:40 | |
And I've got to decide if it's something I'm going to try in my | 0:00:40 | 0:00:43 | |
search for God. | 0:00:43 | 0:00:45 | |
I've come to Salt Lake City in Utah, America. | 0:00:55 | 0:00:58 | |
For centuries, Native Americans have taken a drug called peyote to | 0:01:02 | 0:01:05 | |
connect with the spirit world. | 0:01:05 | 0:01:07 | |
Peyote is illegal in the USA unless you're Native American, | 0:01:08 | 0:01:12 | |
but in one corner of the state, anyone can take it legally. | 0:01:12 | 0:01:15 | |
I'm on my way to meet the founder | 0:01:18 | 0:01:20 | |
of the Oklevueha Native American Church, | 0:01:20 | 0:01:22 | |
James Flaming Eagle Mooney. | 0:01:22 | 0:01:25 | |
I'm really excited and really nervous | 0:01:25 | 0:01:27 | |
because I don't really know what to expect. | 0:01:27 | 0:01:29 | |
-Hi. -Hey, guy. | 0:01:29 | 0:01:31 | |
-How's it going? -Como estas? | 0:01:31 | 0:01:33 | |
I'm Mawaan. Nice to meet you. | 0:01:33 | 0:01:35 | |
-How are you, James? -I'm so kind and gentle today, it's almost sickening. | 0:01:35 | 0:01:39 | |
Cool. That's good to know. | 0:01:39 | 0:01:41 | |
-Have a seat. -Thanks for doing this. | 0:01:41 | 0:01:42 | |
One of the things I'm interested to know about is | 0:01:42 | 0:01:45 | |
when I think of spirituality, I think of, like... | 0:01:45 | 0:01:47 | |
I've been to a couple of yoga classes and I was terrible at it, | 0:01:47 | 0:01:50 | |
so maybe it's not for me. | 0:01:50 | 0:01:51 | |
JAMES LAUGHS But... | 0:01:51 | 0:01:54 | |
where do I begin with that sort of understanding of actually what | 0:01:54 | 0:01:57 | |
is spiritual and how do I delve into it? | 0:01:57 | 0:01:59 | |
Well, that's where I come in. | 0:01:59 | 0:02:01 | |
-Yeah. -That's where I help you. | 0:02:01 | 0:02:03 | |
I assist you. I'm a medicine man in terms of spirituality | 0:02:03 | 0:02:09 | |
and emotions. | 0:02:09 | 0:02:10 | |
Native Americans have used peyote in religion for thousands of years. | 0:02:12 | 0:02:16 | |
It comes from a cactus plant. | 0:02:16 | 0:02:18 | |
James's church offers non-Native Americans the chance to use peyote | 0:02:25 | 0:02:29 | |
to connect with God. | 0:02:29 | 0:02:31 | |
I'll be joining him on one of his ceremonial retreats. | 0:02:31 | 0:02:34 | |
But I can't get it out of my head that peyote is a class A drug. | 0:02:37 | 0:02:42 | |
Because of its active ingredient mescaline, | 0:02:42 | 0:02:44 | |
it's put in the same category as heroin. | 0:02:44 | 0:02:47 | |
I've come to a local hotel to get some head space. | 0:02:50 | 0:02:54 | |
I've had friends who have used substances that, you know, | 0:02:54 | 0:02:58 | |
I worry about, that they're dependent. | 0:02:58 | 0:03:00 | |
And so I'm really on the fence about the whole thing | 0:03:05 | 0:03:07 | |
because if it helps people, great, but, you know, | 0:03:07 | 0:03:11 | |
I have been taught to see these things as dangerous and addictive. | 0:03:11 | 0:03:16 | |
'I did some research the only way I know how, online.' | 0:03:16 | 0:03:20 | |
Why is he in the middle of the street? | 0:03:22 | 0:03:24 | |
High on peyote. | 0:03:24 | 0:03:26 | |
Come on, mate. Get out the street. | 0:03:27 | 0:03:29 | |
There's cars! | 0:03:30 | 0:03:31 | |
Why would you do that? | 0:03:34 | 0:03:36 | |
The effects of peyote are like LSD, so it's pretty intense. | 0:03:36 | 0:03:40 | |
Taking it could put you at risk if you or a member of your family have | 0:03:40 | 0:03:44 | |
suffered from psychosis in the past. | 0:03:44 | 0:03:46 | |
But I couldn't find any strong medical evidence that taking it once | 0:03:47 | 0:03:50 | |
would have any long-lasting effect. | 0:03:50 | 0:03:54 | |
It feels like you sort of lose control of your body | 0:03:54 | 0:03:56 | |
and you see things that are not there. | 0:03:56 | 0:03:58 | |
Sounds ideal, actually. | 0:04:00 | 0:04:01 | |
Possession of peyote can land you in prison in the UK. | 0:04:03 | 0:04:07 | |
It's also highly illegal for most people in America. | 0:04:07 | 0:04:10 | |
Four years ago, James Flaming Eagle Mooney | 0:04:12 | 0:04:14 | |
was thrust into a struggle | 0:04:14 | 0:04:15 | |
that pitted religious freedom against drug laws. | 0:04:15 | 0:04:19 | |
For generations, Native Americans have been legally entitled to use | 0:04:19 | 0:04:23 | |
peyote as part of their religion, | 0:04:23 | 0:04:25 | |
but James led the fight to allow other Americans to take the drug | 0:04:25 | 0:04:29 | |
in ceremonies. | 0:04:29 | 0:04:30 | |
After serving a jail sentence, | 0:04:31 | 0:04:33 | |
in 2004, he won his battle in Utah's Supreme Court. | 0:04:33 | 0:04:36 | |
Since then, James has been allowed to bring non-Native Americans | 0:04:36 | 0:04:39 | |
like me to try peyote, as long as they become church members. | 0:04:39 | 0:04:44 | |
And seeing as I don't want to get arrested, | 0:04:45 | 0:04:47 | |
I've had to get one of these, | 0:04:47 | 0:04:48 | |
which is to say that I'm a member of the religious group | 0:04:48 | 0:04:51 | |
so I can take it legally. This cost 200. | 0:04:51 | 0:04:54 | |
It makes it really official, doesn't it? | 0:04:54 | 0:04:57 | |
This says I can take a psychedelic drug | 0:04:57 | 0:04:59 | |
which helps me get closer to God. | 0:04:59 | 0:05:02 | |
And cos God is attached, that's a legit reason. | 0:05:02 | 0:05:06 | |
You can't argue with that, in a way, can you? | 0:05:06 | 0:05:09 | |
I've got the card in my pocket | 0:05:14 | 0:05:15 | |
and now it's time to head off for the retreat. | 0:05:15 | 0:05:18 | |
This is as remote as it gets. | 0:05:18 | 0:05:21 | |
I mean, it's literally in the middle of nowhere, | 0:05:21 | 0:05:23 | |
I can't see a building in sight. | 0:05:23 | 0:05:26 | |
I'm looking forward to meeting the people who are taking part in the | 0:05:26 | 0:05:28 | |
ceremony, they're called the Seekers. | 0:05:28 | 0:05:30 | |
And I want to know why they would come all this way to find God. | 0:05:30 | 0:05:34 | |
I'm a bit apprehensive, but I'm open. | 0:05:37 | 0:05:40 | |
I'm willing to be out of my comfort zone and maybe it will pay off. | 0:05:40 | 0:05:45 | |
Yeah, who knows? I think we're here now. | 0:05:47 | 0:05:49 | |
Wow! This is absolutely stunning. | 0:05:52 | 0:05:56 | |
It's snowing a bit, as well. | 0:05:56 | 0:05:58 | |
Hey, how's it going? I'm Mawaan. | 0:06:02 | 0:06:04 | |
-Josiah. -Josiah? Nice to meet you, Josiah. | 0:06:04 | 0:06:06 | |
-Hey, man, Mawaan. -Donovan. | 0:06:06 | 0:06:08 | |
What a peaceful place, with these beautiful lakes and mountains. | 0:06:08 | 0:06:11 | |
Yeah, it's beautiful, | 0:06:11 | 0:06:13 | |
we're just trying to get camp set up now | 0:06:13 | 0:06:15 | |
before it gets too dark and then we have no place to sleep. | 0:06:15 | 0:06:19 | |
Richie is one of 12 members of the Church who have travelled from all | 0:06:22 | 0:06:26 | |
over the USA to come to the retreat. | 0:06:26 | 0:06:29 | |
He's come nearly 2,000 miles to be here, all the way from Ohio. | 0:06:29 | 0:06:34 | |
Can I be of any help? | 0:06:34 | 0:06:36 | |
-Certainly. -Yeah. | 0:06:36 | 0:06:38 | |
So is this your first time in the mountains? | 0:06:38 | 0:06:40 | |
Yes, it is. | 0:06:40 | 0:06:41 | |
-What do you make of it? -The best, it's amazing. | 0:06:41 | 0:06:45 | |
I just love being around nature and rocks. | 0:06:45 | 0:06:50 | |
I live in the downtown of a city, so this is very nice. | 0:06:50 | 0:06:55 | |
What are your expectations for the next few days? | 0:06:55 | 0:06:58 | |
Learn how to forgive myself a bit better. | 0:06:58 | 0:07:02 | |
-Yeah. -I've done a few ceremonies already, but, you know, | 0:07:02 | 0:07:05 | |
hopefully third time's a charm. | 0:07:05 | 0:07:07 | |
Yeah. | 0:07:07 | 0:07:08 | |
James will lead the peyote ceremony in a Native American tepee. | 0:07:08 | 0:07:12 | |
He's got an interesting take on his role as a medicine man. | 0:07:12 | 0:07:16 | |
I'm known as a roto-rooter man, that's what they call me. | 0:07:16 | 0:07:18 | |
-What does that mean? -Well, you know what a roto-rooter is? | 0:07:18 | 0:07:21 | |
-No. -It cleans out toilets. | 0:07:21 | 0:07:23 | |
Roto-rooter man. | 0:07:24 | 0:07:26 | |
Who gave you that name? | 0:07:26 | 0:07:28 | |
-A lot of people. -You dig for the shit and scoop it out. | 0:07:28 | 0:07:32 | |
That's right, that's what I do. | 0:07:32 | 0:07:33 | |
Whatever is blocking people from believing and seeing that beauty, | 0:07:34 | 0:07:39 | |
I'm going to get rid of it. | 0:07:39 | 0:07:41 | |
My job, when those people walk through that tepee, | 0:07:41 | 0:07:43 | |
or walk into the ceremony, | 0:07:43 | 0:07:44 | |
is to penetrate all the stuff | 0:07:44 | 0:07:48 | |
that we manufacture to cover up that vulnerability. | 0:07:48 | 0:07:53 | |
What do you think I've manufactured to hide some of my true spirit? | 0:07:53 | 0:07:57 | |
Denial that you're a spiritual man. | 0:07:59 | 0:08:02 | |
Right. | 0:08:02 | 0:08:03 | |
I don't know what to make of James Flaming Eagle Mooney. | 0:08:07 | 0:08:10 | |
I mean, what a guy. I think I like him. | 0:08:10 | 0:08:12 | |
He's endearing in a way that, you know, when your grandad speaks | 0:08:12 | 0:08:16 | |
to you, and he talks a bit, but you're like, you know, | 0:08:16 | 0:08:18 | |
"I still respect you for what you do." | 0:08:18 | 0:08:20 | |
Do you mind if I join in? | 0:08:28 | 0:08:30 | |
Yeah. | 0:08:30 | 0:08:31 | |
What made you choose this over other more traditional | 0:08:31 | 0:08:35 | |
-systems of belief? -This is what... | 0:08:35 | 0:08:37 | |
It started out as respecting Mother Earth, respecting your body, | 0:08:37 | 0:08:41 | |
loving yourself. | 0:08:41 | 0:08:42 | |
Giving free massages? | 0:08:42 | 0:08:43 | |
Giving free... | 0:08:43 | 0:08:45 | |
Serving, that's all it comes down to, is everybody serves. | 0:08:45 | 0:08:49 | |
Have you dabbled in other religions? | 0:08:49 | 0:08:51 | |
Yes, definitely. I've studied a lot of different things. | 0:08:51 | 0:08:54 | |
I grew up, actually, Mormon. | 0:08:54 | 0:08:56 | |
I find there's actually a lot of truth in a lot of different things. | 0:08:56 | 0:09:00 | |
It's not just getting high in the forest? | 0:09:00 | 0:09:02 | |
-No! -No! -OK. | 0:09:02 | 0:09:05 | |
I don't know what to make of all of this. | 0:09:09 | 0:09:10 | |
Are these guys really here to find God? | 0:09:10 | 0:09:13 | |
I'm getting the feeling that they might already be on something. | 0:09:14 | 0:09:17 | |
I swear you will take your first breath ever after you get it. | 0:09:20 | 0:09:25 | |
-It's insane. -What are you actually doing, though? | 0:09:25 | 0:09:28 | |
You're relieving the bone. | 0:09:28 | 0:09:30 | |
You actually get, like, a face-lift, as well. | 0:09:30 | 0:09:33 | |
It heightens your cheeks and... | 0:09:33 | 0:09:35 | |
So you're... Oh! Wow. | 0:09:35 | 0:09:37 | |
-Wait, wait, wait, do this side first. -OK. | 0:09:37 | 0:09:41 | |
SHE SCREAMS | 0:09:41 | 0:09:44 | |
THEY LAUGH | 0:09:44 | 0:09:49 | |
Rock on! | 0:09:49 | 0:09:50 | |
You literally just put your entire pinkie in her nostril. | 0:09:50 | 0:09:52 | |
And remember, you're not jerking or anything. It's not violent. | 0:09:52 | 0:09:55 | |
You're just following the passage and you can literally | 0:09:55 | 0:09:57 | |
-feel the bone just moving. -You're just opening the passage. | 0:09:57 | 0:10:00 | |
What does it...what does it feel like having your nose fingered like that? | 0:10:00 | 0:10:02 | |
Great afterwards. | 0:10:02 | 0:10:05 | |
Really? It sounded really painful! | 0:10:05 | 0:10:06 | |
After it's, like, the most amazing thing, like, literally, | 0:10:06 | 0:10:09 | |
it just feels like I'm connected to myself. | 0:10:09 | 0:10:11 | |
It sounded really painful. | 0:10:11 | 0:10:13 | |
It is, but, you know, like, | 0:10:13 | 0:10:14 | |
it's worth it if it's going to make me feel better. | 0:10:14 | 0:10:16 | |
-Let's go, let's go, let's go. -What kind of pain is it? | 0:10:16 | 0:10:18 | |
-WOMAN SHOUTS IN BACKGROUND -It's tightness, it depends. | 0:10:18 | 0:10:21 | |
The very first one's the worst and from there it only gets better. | 0:10:21 | 0:10:24 | |
It gets clear. Like, mine, I didn't even react or scream. | 0:10:24 | 0:10:27 | |
I cried the first time. | 0:10:27 | 0:10:29 | |
He literally just put his entire finger through her nasal... | 0:10:29 | 0:10:35 | |
I mean... | 0:10:35 | 0:10:36 | |
I don't know. I need to Google that. Is that a thing? Is that a thing? | 0:10:36 | 0:10:40 | |
Does that make you breathe better? | 0:10:40 | 0:10:43 | |
I Googled it. It's not a thing. | 0:10:43 | 0:10:45 | |
I feel quite detached to faith and spirituality in a way. | 0:11:01 | 0:11:04 | |
I think those words come preloaded with a lot of misconceptions | 0:11:04 | 0:11:08 | |
and a lot of people have used them in the West to do some whack stuff. | 0:11:08 | 0:11:13 | |
So when it comes to spirituality and village, I feel a bit detached | 0:11:13 | 0:11:16 | |
and a bit cynical. | 0:11:16 | 0:11:17 | |
I was a bit surprised by the fact | 0:11:17 | 0:11:19 | |
that it's called Native American Church | 0:11:19 | 0:11:21 | |
and there's not a lot of Native Americans here. | 0:11:21 | 0:11:23 | |
It's interesting because they're dealing with a lot | 0:11:23 | 0:11:27 | |
of ancient rituals and ceremonies and, like, that guy's got an iPhone. | 0:11:27 | 0:11:32 | |
So... You know. | 0:11:32 | 0:11:34 | |
It's an interesting merging of cultures, I guess. | 0:11:34 | 0:11:38 | |
Around three quarters of all Americans subscribe to some kind of | 0:11:45 | 0:11:48 | |
formal religion. | 0:11:48 | 0:11:50 | |
So I want to know what these guys get from peyote that they | 0:11:50 | 0:11:53 | |
couldn't find in more traditional faiths. | 0:11:53 | 0:11:56 | |
What led me to these practices was desire for truth, | 0:11:56 | 0:11:59 | |
a desire for reality. | 0:11:59 | 0:12:01 | |
Peyote itself is considered a truth serum. | 0:12:01 | 0:12:06 | |
Some people refer to it as that, so it removes, kind of, | 0:12:06 | 0:12:09 | |
the facade of who we like to paint ourself as. | 0:12:09 | 0:12:15 | |
Richard, what does God mean to you? | 0:12:17 | 0:12:21 | |
I see God as everything. | 0:12:21 | 0:12:23 | |
I see God as you, I see God as me, I see God as this dirt, | 0:12:23 | 0:12:27 | |
I see God as the stars and the moon. | 0:12:27 | 0:12:29 | |
For a long time... | 0:12:31 | 0:12:32 | |
..I... | 0:12:33 | 0:12:34 | |
..I didn't believe in God. | 0:12:35 | 0:12:37 | |
Cos I didn't have enough love there, in your heart. | 0:12:38 | 0:12:42 | |
I used to be a very dark person through and through. | 0:12:43 | 0:12:48 | |
I used to be evil. | 0:12:48 | 0:12:49 | |
Where did that stem from? | 0:12:51 | 0:12:54 | |
Self-abuse. | 0:12:54 | 0:12:55 | |
Neglect to take care of myself, my physical body, my mind. | 0:12:57 | 0:13:01 | |
Also blaming myself for my father's death, | 0:13:03 | 0:13:07 | |
which was not my fault whatsoever. | 0:13:07 | 0:13:10 | |
He died of a brain aneurysm. | 0:13:10 | 0:13:13 | |
But for a long time I really believed I caused it. | 0:13:13 | 0:13:17 | |
How old were you when that happened? | 0:13:19 | 0:13:22 | |
I was ten years old. | 0:13:22 | 0:13:23 | |
A year and a half after he died, | 0:13:27 | 0:13:30 | |
I have no memory of that part of my life. | 0:13:30 | 0:13:33 | |
I was in such a dark place. | 0:13:33 | 0:13:35 | |
God pushed me into the light. | 0:13:40 | 0:13:43 | |
Because I feel like the first two times I did peyote... | 0:13:43 | 0:13:47 | |
..it really hit me deep. | 0:13:48 | 0:13:51 | |
And it was able to let | 0:13:53 | 0:13:57 | |
me forgive myself... | 0:13:57 | 0:14:00 | |
..for all of the beating up I've done to myself over the years. | 0:14:02 | 0:14:05 | |
(Oh, my gosh.) | 0:14:08 | 0:14:09 | |
I feel like I'm slowly starting to understand why these guys are here | 0:14:14 | 0:14:18 | |
and what it means to them. | 0:14:18 | 0:14:21 | |
Because, actually, being in these surroundings, they're really | 0:14:21 | 0:14:26 | |
candid and they're really honest and open, | 0:14:26 | 0:14:29 | |
and not afraid to look vulnerable and... | 0:14:29 | 0:14:32 | |
Yeah, some deep stuff. | 0:14:33 | 0:14:35 | |
It's not just getting high in the mountains. | 0:14:35 | 0:14:37 | |
It's not just... | 0:14:37 | 0:14:39 | |
It's not just a fun weekend for them, | 0:14:41 | 0:14:43 | |
this is some intense stuff going on. | 0:14:43 | 0:14:45 | |
And they're bringing it all out. | 0:14:45 | 0:14:47 | |
Over the next couple of days I've got to decide if peyote is something | 0:15:02 | 0:15:06 | |
I'm going to try. | 0:15:06 | 0:15:07 | |
It's time to get serious. | 0:15:13 | 0:15:14 | |
There's one important ritual | 0:15:14 | 0:15:16 | |
that you have to do before the peyote ceremony. | 0:15:16 | 0:15:19 | |
It's called a sweat lodge. | 0:15:20 | 0:15:21 | |
It's an ancient Native American tradition stretching back | 0:15:21 | 0:15:24 | |
thousands of years and it's supposed to bring about a spiritual rebirth. | 0:15:24 | 0:15:28 | |
The divot in the centre is supposed to represent the womb of the woman. | 0:15:30 | 0:15:35 | |
And then over there we have lava rocks, | 0:15:35 | 0:15:37 | |
which come from, like, the core of the Earth. | 0:15:37 | 0:15:40 | |
And in American belief, that is the seed of the man. | 0:15:40 | 0:15:44 | |
So we take those and we put them in the womb of the woman and it's | 0:15:44 | 0:15:47 | |
supposed to be, like, the joining of man and woman. | 0:15:47 | 0:15:51 | |
Together in the sweat lodge. | 0:15:51 | 0:15:53 | |
-I'm helping. -All the pieces can go up top. | 0:15:53 | 0:15:56 | |
It's kind of cool. | 0:15:56 | 0:15:57 | |
Everyone's really getting stuck into it and working together. | 0:15:57 | 0:16:00 | |
It's really communal and stuff. | 0:16:00 | 0:16:02 | |
And Bear, who looks a lot like my dad, | 0:16:02 | 0:16:05 | |
is leading and guiding everyone into it. | 0:16:05 | 0:16:09 | |
Bear is pretty old school and strict | 0:16:10 | 0:16:12 | |
when it comes to traditional Native American rituals. | 0:16:12 | 0:16:15 | |
Once the lodge is dedicated, or we praise over it, | 0:16:17 | 0:16:21 | |
we have what we call a spirit line | 0:16:21 | 0:16:23 | |
that runs from the fire, through here into the fire pit. | 0:16:23 | 0:16:27 | |
Once that's blessed, no-one is to step over the line except | 0:16:27 | 0:16:31 | |
the fire man and whoever's conducting. | 0:16:31 | 0:16:35 | |
Bear? Can I ask a question? | 0:16:35 | 0:16:36 | |
-Yes. -How many people are going to go in the sweat lodge? | 0:16:36 | 0:16:39 | |
-I think he said 12. -You're going to fit 12 people in there? | 0:16:39 | 0:16:42 | |
-Yes. -You're supposed to be real tight. | 0:16:42 | 0:16:45 | |
-You know, like, skin to skin. -All right. | 0:16:45 | 0:16:48 | |
-Great! -Like, like really like this. | 0:16:48 | 0:16:51 | |
We're going to be spooning in the sweat lodge. | 0:16:51 | 0:16:53 | |
-Yes. -I can't wait. | 0:16:53 | 0:16:56 | |
I haven't spooned in ages. | 0:16:56 | 0:16:57 | |
WHISTLE BLOWS | 0:17:00 | 0:17:05 | |
DRUM BEATS SLOWLY | 0:17:05 | 0:17:08 | |
Go. | 0:17:12 | 0:17:13 | |
Go. | 0:17:20 | 0:17:21 | |
MAN CHANTS | 0:17:21 | 0:17:27 | |
-THEY GREET EACH OTHER -Welcome, brother. | 0:17:30 | 0:17:34 | |
Nice. | 0:17:42 | 0:17:43 | |
Give this for the north of wisdom and understanding. | 0:17:43 | 0:17:46 | |
Door down. | 0:17:53 | 0:17:55 | |
TRADITIONAL CHANTING | 0:18:09 | 0:18:15 | |
After two hours, it's so hot it feels like my skin is burning. | 0:18:21 | 0:18:25 | |
Oh! | 0:18:27 | 0:18:29 | |
Let it go. Yell it out. | 0:18:40 | 0:18:43 | |
-Yell it out. -Yell it out. | 0:18:43 | 0:18:45 | |
HE YELLS | 0:18:45 | 0:18:48 | |
Oh. | 0:18:48 | 0:18:49 | |
HE BREATHES HEAVILY | 0:18:51 | 0:18:55 | |
Ah! Ah! | 0:18:55 | 0:18:57 | |
'I had, like... I had visions. | 0:18:59 | 0:19:02 | |
'It was really dark and all you could see was these fiery stones.' | 0:19:02 | 0:19:08 | |
And so, you could just... | 0:19:08 | 0:19:11 | |
let everything go, just get completely lost. | 0:19:11 | 0:19:14 | |
It's fucking euphoric. | 0:19:17 | 0:19:19 | |
I feel really... | 0:19:19 | 0:19:20 | |
I feel euphoria and I don't know why. | 0:19:20 | 0:19:23 | |
OTHERS SCREAM AND YELP | 0:19:23 | 0:19:27 | |
I feel really alive. I think this is the most alert I've ever felt... | 0:19:29 | 0:19:32 | |
..in my life. | 0:19:33 | 0:19:35 | |
I just thought it was a sauna! | 0:19:40 | 0:19:42 | |
I was saying, "What's the big deal? It's just a sauna." | 0:19:44 | 0:19:47 | |
We've been in the mountains for four days. | 0:19:59 | 0:20:02 | |
The sweat lodge has been such an intense experience, | 0:20:02 | 0:20:05 | |
I've decided to go for it and try the peyote. | 0:20:05 | 0:20:08 | |
In the tepee, everything is ready for the ceremony. | 0:20:12 | 0:20:15 | |
Cool. | 0:20:18 | 0:20:19 | |
'Made out of dried cactus, peyote can be taken in a variety of ways, | 0:20:19 | 0:20:23 | |
'including as a tea or a paste.' | 0:20:23 | 0:20:26 | |
I'm excited. But I'm absolutely pooing my pants. | 0:20:26 | 0:20:30 | |
EAGLE CALLS | 0:20:38 | 0:20:41 | |
I've been told that it's a truth serum, | 0:20:50 | 0:20:53 | |
but I'm not sure how truthful I want to be. | 0:20:53 | 0:20:55 | |
So, I want to welcome all of you to the ceremony. | 0:20:59 | 0:21:02 | |
These are indigenous ceremonies, they've been proven over and over, | 0:21:02 | 0:21:05 | |
thousands of years, assisting people to change and alter their behaviour. | 0:21:05 | 0:21:11 | |
Leah, you have a question for me. | 0:21:29 | 0:21:31 | |
Erm, I would like some medicine, please. | 0:21:32 | 0:21:37 | |
You got it, girl. Have a seat. | 0:21:37 | 0:21:39 | |
Put it in your hand. | 0:21:48 | 0:21:50 | |
Make a ball out of it. | 0:21:50 | 0:21:51 | |
Mawaan, I'm honoured to have you here. | 0:21:56 | 0:21:59 | |
When you joined Oklevueha Native American Church, | 0:22:05 | 0:22:08 | |
you didn't join a church, you joined a family. | 0:22:08 | 0:22:13 | |
That's what prevails. | 0:22:13 | 0:22:14 | |
-Can I have some tea, please? -You sure may. | 0:22:16 | 0:22:18 | |
-Thank you. -You're welcome. | 0:22:37 | 0:22:39 | |
-Ya-ho. -OTHERS: -Ya-ho. | 0:22:39 | 0:22:43 | |
Sometimes we've been so maligned | 0:22:43 | 0:22:47 | |
that we just don't understand what we really want. | 0:22:47 | 0:22:50 | |
This medicine helps us to really find out | 0:22:50 | 0:22:53 | |
what it is that we really want. | 0:22:53 | 0:22:55 | |
How do you know truth | 0:22:55 | 0:22:59 | |
from falsehood? | 0:22:59 | 0:23:00 | |
If you hear something, or somebody says something about you, | 0:23:01 | 0:23:05 | |
and you have this peaceful feeling, and you kind of... | 0:23:05 | 0:23:08 | |
'James droned on for four hours, and, to be honest, | 0:23:08 | 0:23:11 | |
'it wasn't doing much for my quest for inner truth.' | 0:23:11 | 0:23:13 | |
I'd like some fresh air. | 0:23:13 | 0:23:15 | |
-What? -I'd like some fresh air. | 0:23:15 | 0:23:18 | |
OK, do you want to come back? | 0:23:18 | 0:23:20 | |
-Yes, potentially. -Oh, absolutely. | 0:23:20 | 0:23:23 | |
-Thanks, James. -You do whatever you like. | 0:23:23 | 0:23:25 | |
I couldn't spend a second longer in there | 0:23:26 | 0:23:29 | |
without feeling like I couldn't take it, because I didn't believe it, | 0:23:29 | 0:23:35 | |
and I don't want to be disrespectful, but that's me being honest. | 0:23:35 | 0:23:38 | |
I want a smoothie! | 0:23:46 | 0:23:47 | |
Are you high right now? | 0:23:50 | 0:23:51 | |
I don't know, I think I'm high. | 0:23:51 | 0:23:53 | |
I don't think I... I think I'm... | 0:23:53 | 0:23:55 | |
OK, I think I'm being really honest. | 0:23:57 | 0:24:01 | |
I think that's the highness. | 0:24:01 | 0:24:02 | |
I think if I wasn't this high... | 0:24:05 | 0:24:08 | |
I think if I wasn't high, I wouldn't be being this honest, | 0:24:08 | 0:24:12 | |
and I don't know if it's honest or not, but it feels really honest. | 0:24:12 | 0:24:15 | |
I don't believe in it. | 0:24:15 | 0:24:17 | |
I want a smoothie and I want to paint pictures. | 0:24:17 | 0:24:20 | |
On the other hand, on the other hand... | 0:24:22 | 0:24:25 | |
I feel cool, like, I feel like I can... | 0:24:25 | 0:24:30 | |
do the essence of what I want to do, you know, like, I can... | 0:24:30 | 0:24:35 | |
close off all the distractions, but this is what I need to do, | 0:24:36 | 0:24:40 | |
and then just get on with it. | 0:24:40 | 0:24:41 | |
Like, right now, I want an Oreo milkshake, | 0:24:41 | 0:24:46 | |
and I need to do that. | 0:24:46 | 0:24:47 | |
I think that's what God is... | 0:24:50 | 0:24:51 | |
'Maybe this drug really is a truth serum. | 0:24:56 | 0:24:59 | |
'I'm definitely feeling like letting it all out.' | 0:24:59 | 0:25:02 | |
I feel like... | 0:25:04 | 0:25:05 | |
I don't really know what love is. | 0:25:09 | 0:25:13 | |
So I don't really know... | 0:25:13 | 0:25:15 | |
..when it's around. | 0:25:16 | 0:25:17 | |
And that can make me quite cynical, | 0:25:20 | 0:25:23 | |
if I'm being completely honest. | 0:25:23 | 0:25:24 | |
Mmm. | 0:25:24 | 0:25:26 | |
It's ringing true to me. | 0:25:26 | 0:25:28 | |
OTHERS LAUGH | 0:25:28 | 0:25:30 | |
So, do you like it there? | 0:25:30 | 0:25:32 | |
Um... | 0:25:34 | 0:25:36 | |
What's strange is I think a part of me does really like it. | 0:25:36 | 0:25:41 | |
-That's good. -Because it makes me feel... | 0:25:41 | 0:25:44 | |
like I'm better than everyone else. | 0:25:44 | 0:25:46 | |
Oh, my gosh. | 0:25:46 | 0:25:48 | |
You've got time now. | 0:25:48 | 0:25:51 | |
There's not an exterior thing that is overcoming all your thoughts. | 0:25:51 | 0:25:57 | |
In here, you're looking at it, you're seeing. | 0:25:57 | 0:26:01 | |
I feel like if I'm not cynical then I'll just fall for anything. | 0:26:01 | 0:26:04 | |
Boy, that's a double whammy, man. That's a tough one. | 0:26:08 | 0:26:11 | |
These are the battles that are going on in my head. | 0:26:11 | 0:26:15 | |
Especially when I'm in new surroundings. | 0:26:15 | 0:26:17 | |
All those kinds of feelings, like cynicism, like, | 0:26:17 | 0:26:20 | |
"What are these people really doing?" | 0:26:20 | 0:26:22 | |
And surely there's a way to understand this better. | 0:26:22 | 0:26:27 | |
What I found out is that it took a good while for me to sit with the | 0:26:27 | 0:26:31 | |
medicine and learn what it was teaching me. | 0:26:31 | 0:26:34 | |
And so you don't treat that lightly, man. That's the real deal. | 0:26:37 | 0:26:41 | |
Even though the peyote wasn't really doing it for me, it was obvious that | 0:26:43 | 0:26:47 | |
these guys take it really seriously. | 0:26:47 | 0:26:50 | |
It allows you to forgive. | 0:26:50 | 0:26:52 | |
That's the miracle of the peyote medicine. | 0:26:52 | 0:26:55 | |
It takes something that's within you, | 0:26:55 | 0:26:58 | |
that's holding you back from your true self, | 0:26:58 | 0:27:01 | |
the love and light person you really want to be. | 0:27:01 | 0:27:05 | |
And whatever's holding you back, if you can let it go... | 0:27:05 | 0:27:09 | |
it assists you. | 0:27:09 | 0:27:12 | |
I felt God there with me, you know? | 0:27:12 | 0:27:15 | |
And it was powerful. | 0:27:15 | 0:27:18 | |
OTHERS CHANT | 0:27:21 | 0:27:24 | |
SHE EXHALES | 0:27:24 | 0:27:26 | |
HE EXHALES | 0:27:31 | 0:27:34 | |
When I first got here, to be really honest, | 0:27:34 | 0:27:36 | |
I thought it was a bit of a con. | 0:27:36 | 0:27:38 | |
Just an excuse for some hippies to take drugs in the hills. | 0:27:38 | 0:27:41 | |
THEY SPEAK INDISTINCTLY | 0:27:41 | 0:27:43 | |
But sharing these days has made me change my mind. | 0:27:43 | 0:27:46 | |
I personally don't think I talked to God, | 0:27:48 | 0:27:52 | |
didn't really get my money's worth, | 0:27:52 | 0:27:54 | |
but I still felt really safe and held by a group of people, | 0:27:54 | 0:27:59 | |
and that in itself is a bit of an enlightening experience, you know? | 0:27:59 | 0:28:03 | |
-THEY LAUGH -I can't compete with that! | 0:28:03 | 0:28:06 | |
UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS | 0:28:06 | 0:28:11 | |
You are amazing. | 0:28:14 | 0:28:16 | |
Next time, I'm in Brazil and on the trail of another legendary drug - | 0:28:19 | 0:28:24 | |
ayahuasca. | 0:28:24 | 0:28:25 | |
So I'm going to knock on God's door | 0:28:25 | 0:28:28 | |
and let's see if he's there. | 0:28:28 | 0:28:30 |