27/06/2014 EastEnders

I said he wouldn't be back.

He's going to keep his nut down, hoping it all blows over.

Will you please, please, just come back to bed!

I keep going over and over what he called me.

HE GROWLS IN FRUSTRATION

Just... Just...

He'll be back.

And we'll all say sorry...

ME say sorry?!

Ahhh!

SHARON SCREAMS

Sharon, it's all right. Sharon, Sharon, Sharon...

I brought you something.

This should save you the bother of smashing my place up.

From now on, you deal with me, and only me...

Modern technology - all your breakfast in a can.

Clever, innit, the way they get those sausages in.

-Urgh!

-Why not? All comes out the same way in the end...

How can you eat? Can you not see I'm mid-crisis?!

You could help - or is that beyond you?

Johnny finally answered his phone.

-Where is he?

-Didn't say.

When's he coming back?

I don't know if he is, Mum.

-You both went too far.

-I was helping him.

By still wiping his bottom for him?

I care about my children - is that so wrong?

No, what's wrong is that you can't even see what you've done.

He called me a bitch.

Yeah, he snapped. And who can blame him?

So now you're siding with him?

And I can see exactly what you've done wrong,

because it's what you always, always do.

I'm trying, Phil.

You want your secret out, do you?

Mick!

I'm trying to get the rest of it.

Dean gave me some of the money.

My boy sorted you out?

Your boy?

Your boy broke into my house.

Now, you don't want trouble,

I suggest you get your boy on a leash -

and you...can get me the rest of my money.

And what about the way Nancy spoke to me this morning?

You need to sort this, Mick.

Well? What you going to do?

Johnny'll be back to face the music.

Not her music.

Dad, got some post.

Hopefully from a clinic in Switzerland

-booking you a one-way ticket.

-Mick?

-What do you want me to say to you

that I haven't said a million times last night or today?

-Where are you going?

-Out.

-Where?

-Of earshot.

Where I can't hear you all arguing and expecting me to solve it.

Can I please not come home to a tear-up - please!

Ha! May we ask what emergency service that's supposed to be?

A "supporting my girl" service?

I said it was a casual pre-Pride get-together at the Welly.

Not fancy dress.

Be careful of her today.

Johnny's still not back.

Nancy's sulking.

And don't mention the karaoke.

Can't you sort it?

Johnny will come back. It's his first Pride -

-we said we'd take him.

-Well, Johnny ain't coming home at all

-unless she apologises to him.

-Don't start all that again!

Right, that's enough!

There's no point in rowing about Johnny

when he's perfectly capable of speaking for himself.

Come on. I'm going to take you to him.

You look lovely.

Very classy.

Would you like a glass of champagne? No charge.

Champagne?

Yeah. Mick won't miss one bottle.

Of course you didn't pay for it.

I've just seen Phil.

He said that you broke into his house.

-Please don't go back there, not even for me.

-For you?

Hi, I've got an appointment.

One second.

Come over the Vic later on, yeah? I'll slip you another drink.

Celebrate this place properly.

How can I help you?

I cannot believe he's here, Stan! Your flamin' flat?

He's the one that wanted to run. I just gave him somewhere to run to.

Ready? Now swim.

Swim, swim, swim.

You all right, Mick?

Lee stayed here behind my back, Johnny...

Why not just ask Nancy - make it a hat-trick?

You all right?

Before you start, you can blame me.

-I thought I said not to tell her.

-And you also called her a bitch. She wants you to say you're sorry.

I shouldn't have called you that.

Right, now you've made your little point,

we're going home.

Well, I ain't sorry about anything else I said or did.

She is actually quite upset, Johnny.

About me making a laughing stock out of her?

Just like what you did to me.

Beer?

-He don't want a beer.

-No, he wants an apology,

but he knows it'll be black as Newgate's knocker outside before he gets one,

-so he might as well have a beer.

-Johnny, you're coming with me. Now.

In the fridge, are they? The beers?

We're leaving. Now.

Yeah!

What? Made a mess with your own kids

and now you're trying to take mine? Is that it?

HE SIGHS

Come with me.

Please?

SHOWER RUNS

All right?

You walking back?

No, I'm going to just...

stay here for a bit.

Linda's on one.

To be honest, it's just nice not having her in my ear-hole.

Playing family peacekeeper?

Do you know what it's like living in my house sometimes?

Remember the film The Terminator?

You know the bit where, like, his head's half hanging off

cos he's been having all these tear-ups,

and he's dragging himself up the stairs...

You just want to go AWOL for a bit?

Yeah, yeah.

That's the great thing about this place.

When you're under the water...

all your responsibilities, everything,

they just go away.

Yeah, I know, yeah.

They do adult classes here on a Sunday morning.

Beginners, if you need?

It's pathetic.

I'm a grown man

and I can't swim

and I'm petrified of water.

It's not pathetic.

You just didn't learn as a kid.

I've taught all my kids here.

The boys, they learned really quickly,

but Lucy, she was a nightmare.

I could try and teach you, if you like.

You're not going to let me say no, are you?

Don't tell me how to run that family.

I've been holding it together since I was 15.

I know.

And you just expect me to forget what Johnny said to me?

I'm not asking you to forget.

I'm asking you to remember.

By bringing me here?

You're not alone.

This place is always full of adult learners.

You can always spot them.

They're the ones that are clinging on to the side with one arm

and they've got one foot on the ground.

But once they're in there, they're fine.

And you will be, at that swimathon.

Yeah, yeah.

Or I'll embarrass my whole family.

Don't think they'll be too impressed

with me standing at the side of a poxy swimming pool

that I don't even want to get in.

Facing up to something you're terrified of and doing it -

that's impressive.

Come on then, Terminator.

We going in?

Well, come in. Don't be scared of your childhood home.

What's left of it.

Knocking 'em all down round here.

Gentrification, I believe they call it.

Like we need improving.

You never mention this place, do you?

You and your mum and dad, and this pub.

Perfect family.

Perfect?

John and Elaine.

All in love behind this bar.

Good pub, this was.

Remember you as a kid.

Legs like two strings of cotton in your school uniform.

Thought none of us had noticed, you and Mick,

sitting in the corner there, heads together.

I can't be here.

Can't be reminded of what it was like to be a kid?

You think I can forget my dad dying?

I can't.

You can.

I can't.

I sound like Orville!

It's easy, all right?

All you've got to do is put your head in the water - breathe out. OK?

That way the water can't come in.

Yeah? Give it a go.

Go on, you can do it.

There you go.

Heart attack, wasn't it? He wouldn't have known.

He knew.

Just his time.

He was staring straight at me for help.

-I couldn't save him.

-You were a kid.

-I was 15.

Oh, Linda.

Tell me you haven't spend all these years thinking it was your fault.

I didn't know what to do.

You screamed. We heard you. Came out.

-You were there?

-You did everything right.

Got the ambulance called, in seconds -

seconds, Linda.

You were there for him.

No, I weren't.

They made me let go of his hand.

The next time I saw him, he was dead.

I made you let go.

You had to, so they could take him to hospital,

try and save him.

You did all you could.

You really think I did the right thing for him?

HE GASPS

HE COUGHS

Told you to keep your mouth shut.

You'd have thought I'd have learned that by now, living in my gaff.

I don't know why I'm making Linda out to be a monster.

She's not really. I...

I love her. She's...

She's Braveheart in curlers.

She's not that strong underneath it all.

None of us are.

We just pretend to be for our families, don't we?

That's what I'm doing all the time at the moment.

Right, come on, you - turn around.

Time for the big one.

I admired you. I really did.

Coming back from the hospital.

Leading your mum behind the bar.

And you all just staring at us.

Wondering when you'd get your next drink.

Wondering how you did it.

You, at the funeral,

holding on to her as she crumbled.

You were a good kid, Linda.

I was glad my Mick would come to you.

You look after family. That's what you're supposed to do.

Family. And not three months later,

you announcing you were pregnant.

You saying I tricked him? Mick wanted a family.

Almost as much as you.

I'd die for my kids.

Or is it that you wouldn't want to live without them?

You have no idea what it's like to actually love your children.

I know you're clipping Johnny's wings. Why? So he'll stay?

Won't fly the nest?

Or you won't be left alone like me?

You drove your kids away!

-Now we're getting somewhere.

-You pushed 'em.

-Like you pull yours?

I'm nothing like you! We're not the same.

Johnny needs me.

He's 19. He's a man.

He's fragile. He nearly died.

When he was a baby. He's not a baby now!

I saved that boy!

You asked me why I never mention my dad's name? But I do.

Every time I say Johnny's name.

I gave him my dad's name but this time I stopped it happening,

I held his hand and I knew.

I thought, this time I am not letting this person go.

This time I'm going to watch his every breath and he won't die, he won't leave me.

But he will. You're making that kid hate you, Linda.

I hear you give free consultations.

I want a consultation.

Wait at the back for us, babe.

You're not exactly surprising me, Phil.

I bet this cost a bit. You insured?

I paid what I needed to. To keep this place safe.

You keep making them payments.

Cos I'd hate for something to happen to this place.

And you stay away from my family.

It's all coming down here.

That letter I got earlier was from the council.

All highfalutin language but they're tearing the place apart.

Good riddance.

It's years since it felt like home.

Sorry if I was a bit harsh with you.

But...I wanted you to see before it was too late.

DOOR SHUTS

How did we get here, Johnny?

I grew up.

I'm a man.

I'm sorry. I need to say sorry.

Thank you.

Tell me what I've done wrong.

And I'll listen this time, I promise. Go on.

I just...

I feel like you won't let me grow up.

You won't let me go.

You're either... You're either following me around or going behind my back.

You know, either way you're controlling everything I do.

I do that?

Yeah, I do that.

I don't want to fight you. I want to have a life.

Oh, Johnny... I know I do it. I smother you. I cling.

I just can't help it.

I worry that if I let go, even for a second,

I'm going to lose you.

I'm sorry we came to this, baby.

No... No, not "baby".

You're my son.

My brilliant, grown-up son.

Just tell me you don't hate me.

Mum... I don't hate you. I love you, Mum.

But you want to leave me? Leave home?

No... no.

Problem with old age, you can't eavesdrop like you used to.

Sh. They're doing OK.

Stan?

You should start packing this place up.

Council haven't given me a new home yet.

You've got one with us. For good.

If you want it.

You'll have me?

Well, take me a little while to pack.

Got a lot of valuables.

Have you thought this through, Mum? There's a lot of novelty china in here.

-Heirlooms.

-Heirlooms?

And some decent furniture. Get that living room kitted out.

That sofa of yours does hell for my back.

You ready? You don't need that.

Let go. You can do it.

Really?

Yeah, just remember what I told you.

Yeah? You'll be all right, don't worry. I'll be right behind you.

OK. I can do this. I can do this.

Go on. That's it, that's it.

Reach out with your arms. Kick your legs. Kick your legs.

That's it. Kick. That's it, Mick!

So what's this treat, then? Where you taking me?

The fact that we're in Soho would be a bit of a give away.

Sorry, mate, can you just stop here for a second? Thanks.

PULSATING MUSIC AND CONVERSATION

This Pride thing tomorrow? Do you want to go?

Yeah, I guess.

Well, Tina and Tosh were meeting some people here.

It's a pre-Pride party.

You might meet someone. Someone nice.

You pimping him out now, Mum?

Did I do the wrong thing?

No. Can't stop being you, can you, Mum?

Run, Johnny. Be free.

Be gay!

Go on, if you're going. Can't keep this taxi meter running forever.

Mum.

This ain't like your wildlife documentaries.

I don't think we're supposed to sit and watch. Shall we go?

Walford, please, mate.

Know what, it's actually really hard to sink.

If you relax, you float.

So what you saying, I'm full of hot air?

No, I'm saying I knew you could do it.

Thanks.

Anyway, back into the breach. Do you know what, you're right.

It's good to...escape. Go AWOL from life for a bit.

Same again tomorrow?

Yeah. Why not?

Oi. Well done.

So peace has been declared?

Yep. She fixed it. He's coming back.

You did it?

That's what we grown-ups do, ain't it? Fix things.

Proud of you.

I thought you and me were straight? You paid Phil off for me?

For you? Do you honestly think I was protecting you?

I was protecting my business. I was protecting me.

No-one else ever does.

I do, Dean.

Dean! Dean, I was doing it to help you. Believe me.

Do you know what? I did believe you.

I'm so stupid that when you hugged me,

-I actually thought it meant something.

-What's happened?

I'll tell you what's happened. She stole off me. For Phil! I'm just asking why.

-I had to.

-But why? Give me one good reason!

Has he got something over on you?

Just tell me and we can forget it.

-Dean!

-Oh, Shirley, don't chase after him.

You're giving me family advice now, are you?

-When all your kids hate you and they want to leave?

-That's not true.

If you run after him, and tell him what to do, he'll hate you for it. Just leave him be.

Let me talk to him, let me fix it for you.

Let her go, Shirl.

Believe it or not, she's on a roll at the moment.

Come back in the boozer. Come on.

I weren't flirting!

Really?

I always do the splits when I'm drunk.

Tosh...

I'd better go. You coming?

Um... No. I'm going to stay.

HE CRIES

DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES

She's crying over you an' all. Can't you talk to her?

I don't care what she has to say any more.

It's hard being a parent, you know.

Have you come to fight for her?

Cos she ain't worth it.

Cheers.

I'm Johnny, by the way.

Gianluca.

Um... John...?

Just call me Luca.

Is this your first Pride?

Yeah.

Mine too. Came to London just to see it.

You going tomorrow?

Um... Yeah... maybe we could see it together?

Yeah? Er... Cheers.

CHEERING

She loves you.

No, she doesn't.

Of course she loves you. We get it wrong sometimes.

But she's your mum.

I just feel like I can't trust anyone ever again.

HE SOBS