21/07/2014 EastEnders

Shabnam's already opened up and I'm exhausted.

I think I'm more tired now than when I went to bed.

What was wrong with you last night...?

Look, you don't want to pay any attention to what they've got to say.

So you haven't told her, then? I tried.

"Recent enquiries have produced fresh leads, which we are now

"actively pursuing, said Detective Inspector Samantha Keeble."

Well, we'll see, won't we? Good day to you all. Patrick.

New leads? Sounds promising.

Nah. It's cop-speak for "I ain't got a clue," innit?

Mo!

What?! I say it as I see it.

I'm sure it's a matter of time, isn't it? I wouldn't count on it.

Patrick...

Sorry, did you want something?

I'll go and make myself useful out back.

There is something...

Sorry, not interrupting anything, am I?

I saw these on Pam's stall and I thought you deserved a treat.

Have you taken something, dear?

No. Me and Patrick were outside talking about the wedding

and I got excited.

Patrick realises how important this is to both of us.

I should go and put these in water, really, shouldn't I?

Please... Patrick... Have you any idea what this is going to do to her?

All the more reason why we should keep it to ourselves.

Please, I'm just asking you, just give me a chance to explain.

He can't even look at me.

He'll come round, you know, when things get back to normal.

I'll drop him off and I'll pick this up on the way back, yeah?

Unless you want to do it?

Sharon, you've got to go out some time.

You think I don't want to? I can't.

Dennis? You've got ten seconds to get in here,

otherwise I'll take your console to the charity shop.

Right, let's get going.

I'll pick up your prescription on the way back.

Thanks.

Bye.

A dominoes match? Yeah. Knockout competition. Five quid to enter, winner takes all.

Morning, all! Aunt Babe!

Look what the cat's brought in. What's she doing here?

I've come to make myself useful while Mick's over at Elaine's.

We're not all useless, idle lumps. Is Tina about?

She's in the caff today.

Oh, right. That lady in Maldon definitely wants the last pup.

And then Lady Di can come home?

Oooh, I'll have all my babies with me again!

Yeah. What about my dominoes match?

I might get a crowd from my old boozer to come over.

Better lock up your jewellery, then. Bigger bunch of crooks and jailbirds, you've never seen.

You keep out of this.

Come on, Linda, it's just what you need for your Monday night trade.

You're not filling my pub with the dregs of Canning Town.

One's plenty. The answer's no.

SHE LAUGHS

LAUGHTER

Sienna Parker's dad's taking them to Disneyland for their holiday.

Why can't we go? Cos it costs an arm and a leg. Anyway, when the Inland Revenue catches up with him,

his life'll be one long holiday.

You all right?

Oh. It's Monday...

I was....I was trying to talk to Lucy

about a problem she was having.

Erm, Peter came in and he overheard me say something which...

..upset them both and...

I just needed to get away.

And you just happened to bump into Rainie. Is that it?

My head was all over the place.

I didn't know what I was doing...

It was...just a stupid mistake.

You got that right.

I love Denise.

How the devil can you say that, Ian?!

If you loved her, you wouldn't even think about going near that,

that...woman.

My Denise is worth ten of you. You know that?

I know. And I'm sorry.

You have no idea at all what she's sacrificed to be here, you know,

do you? How do you mean?

That girl has been a rock to you.

Most people would have scampered at the first opportunity.

I know that. I know. She's spent months nursing you and your family back to health.

Not a moment's thought for herself, you know.

And this is how you repay her?!

I tell you, if I was a younger man, I would take you out right here, right now.

What's a double "mascotomy"? Mastectomy, dummy!

Nan's got to have her, y'know... taken away.

How long are you going to be in hospital?

About four days. We'll be able to come and visit you, though?

Course we will. She's going to need regular gossip magazines and chocolate, ain't she?

It's a big operation and I'm not going to be able to do anything for a long time afterwards.

You lot are going to be late for school. So can we please go?

There's so much to organise.

I mean, this house doesn't run by itself.

And the bailiffs? What about them? Those debts aren't going to go anywhere...

I've got to cancel this. There's a number on this letter somewhere...

No, you don't!

You've seen Denise. She's happy. She's excited about the wedding.

Do you really want to take that away from her?

Don't you dare put that on me!

It was one stupid mistake. OK? Can't we just forget about it?

And what about Rainie?

I've sorted it.

That girl is a loose cannon.

I found her on your doorstep, remember?

And I've dealt with it.

You dealt with her...how?

You've paid her?

HE SCOFFS

And when that money runs out? What happens then, eh?

I'll give you till seven o'clock.

And if you don't tell Denise, I will. You hear me?

Patrick. Look, I know I shouldn't, but do you want to take these now?

No. Just put them through my door, like you're supposed to.

What you doing? Picking winners?

Ah, if only. Nah, these are the dead certs I'm interested in.

The obituaries? Bit morbid, innit? I'm checking the competition.

Cut-throat business, the funeral game.

You got your arrangements in place? Me? No. Should I have?

Oooh, best to be prepared!

You never know what's around the corner!

So when did you get back? Last night.

As soon as Uncle Darius got the all-clear from the doc, I was on the first train back quick fast.

Hey!

What was that for? I just been paid for all the overtime I was owed.

460 quid. Yay!

Why are you two so loved-up?

We just got enough money for our first trip down the baby clinic.

You two having a baby?

Mmm. Got a problem with that?

Me?! No, no, no. I was just wondering, you know, who gets to choose...

That would be me.

Nice. OK. Well, ladies, if you ever need a donation of any kind,

you know where to find me. Right?

We're still a couple of hundred quid short.

How's my favourite niece?

Aunt Babe... This is Tosh. You remember me talking to you about her?

Of course I do. I've heard a lot about you.

Then you'll know I'm very protective of my family.

I think you two are going to be the best of friends. I'm sure we will.

Right, OK... I'm just going to go and change out of these.

It was nice meeting you. You can call me Aunt Babe.

For now, at least.

Gorgeous, ain't she?

I'm sure she has a certain charm.

I'll have a bit more business for you in the next day or so.

Fresh crop. All right?

Love you, Aunt Babe!

40 minutes I had to wait for these.

I got you some water.

I don't want 'em. You know what they did to me last time.

Sharon, it's different this time. How?

I'm here, ain't I?

Come on.

All right? Lee, I'm not in the mood.

Ain't you meant to be at work?

Yeah, I am, but my class is on an end of term trip.

Not that it's any of your business.

Maybe me and you could have our own little end of term treat later? What do you reckon?

Later? No. Sorry. I'm washing my hair.

And that takes all night, does it?

If something's worth doing, Lee, it's worth doing properly.

Here's a bloke who fancies himself a bit of a player. What are you talking about?

Dominoes. Five quid to enter, winner takes all.

By winner, I mean...yours truly.

Not if I've got anything to do with it.

Sorry. Busy. Now there's a surprise. What do you mean by that?

Patrick, you used to be fun. Now all you do is skulk around the Square

with the weight of the world on your shoulders. Lighten up!

Yeah, she's right. You're a long time dead.

Let's say your place, six o'clock.

And crack a smile, will you?

Yeah, it's me. Listen, I need to see you.

You know why.

Half past 11, Walford Park. All right?

Hiya. Hiya. Do you want a coffee or something?

Er, no...nil by mouth. Ramadan.

Still, there's only four days and a few hours to go before Eid.

Not that I'm counting the hours...

You temptress!

SHE CHUCKLES

Hey. I, er, delivered the post through the letter box, like you asked.

It was only junk mail.

Patrick, are you all right? Cos you don't seem to be quite...

For heaven's sake! Can't a man just have his coffee in peace, now?

Oh! I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Tina...

It's all right, it's all right. Don't worry.

Are you all right, Patrick?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm OK.

TV ON

Who is it?

It's me!

This isn't a great time.

I'm not feeling too good at the moment.

I've not seen you in ages. Come on. You and me are hitting the sales.

Sharon...?

Today's not a good day, Linda. OK?

I can... I can see that.

Right. Well, let's get started on these dishes, shall we?

Once we've sorted this lot out, we can have a root through that wardrobe of yours.

Oh, Sharon...

It's all right. It's all right.

We haven't even talked money yet!

I'm not that kind of girl that does it outside.

What the hell do you think you're doing, telling Patrick?

You're hurting me, Ian.

Have you got any idea what you've done?

Look at you. You're a dirty little skank.

I was good enough for you, though, weren't I?

Denise deserves to know what her precious fiance's been up to.

SHE CHUCKLES

Patrick's told her.

That means there's no more money for you. Do you understand?

And I don't want you anywhere near the Square. Is that clear?

I don't believe you.

Don't push me, Rainie.

You've got no idea what I'm capable of.

No idea.

You can't let them thugs make you a prisoner in your own home.

It's not just what happened in The Albert.

Can I ask you something, Linda?

Course. Anything.

Have you ever hit your kids?

Is this about Dennis?

He did something he shouldn't have and I...

I saw red and I grabbed him and I shook him.

I feel so ashamed.

One night, years ago, Mick was away somewhere. Lee was, what, five?

It took me three renditions of I Dreamed A Dream to get him off.

Anyway, I was putting Johnny down and Nancy started.

She wanted something - can't even remember what it was - anyway,

I said no and she started screaming her head off.

Lee woke up, and Johnny started crying and...

..I can still see the mark my hand left on her little leg.

You hit her?

We ain't saints, Sharon. We're mums.

Look, why don't you get dressed and we'll go for a walk?

Bit of fresh air, sunshine. Soon sort you out.

Do more good than them pills. You think I don't know that?

Then why are you taking them?

Because Phil thinks it's for the best.

And what do you think?

Don't get me wrong. He's been brilliant.

But...I know what they can do.

And I can't go back.

Oh, Sharon.

D'you know what I think?

You've gotta do what's best for you and Denny,

and screw everyone else.

This is your life, Sharon.

Mum? I'm in here.

I thought you was at work today?

I'm on nights this week. I did tell you that.

Oh, sorry. Did you?

So, what's all this about cancelling the op?

I just... I need time to sort everything out.

Mum, come on, you know this has got to be done as quickly as possible.

Yeah. That's what I said.

You've spent your life running round after us, now it's our turn.

Yeah, let the lunatics run the asylum for a bit.

Shopping, cleaning, washing, a sink that doesn't empty properly.

A toilet that needs flushing twice.

Packed lunch, laundry, turning off lights.

That's my life.

No. They're the details of your life.

Your life is far more precious than that.

Which is why you're going to go to that hospital on Monday.

Even if we have to drag you there.

Mum, we'll survive here. We'll be fine.

More importantly, so will you.

Oi, oi! Why do you do that all the time?

Was it part of your army training or something?

Yeah. Black ops. Here, look, I've got something for you.

Two-in-one. Shampoo and conditioner.

So it don't take you all night to wash that lovely hair of yours,

and that way you can see me later.

This is anti-dandruff shampoo.

What are you saying - I've got dandruff or something?

No. No, I didn't mean... I was only joking.

I know that, Stan, but what do I get for this?

The honour of competing against one of Canning Town's finest.

Don't I even get a drink?

Of course you do, as long as you bring your own.

Dominoes? Dominoes anybody?

Anti-dandruff, are you kidding?

Yeah, I swear. You should have seen his face when he realised.

What a muppet. I think it's really sweet.

You should give him another chance. Yeah, he should be so lucky.

Is that Mum in? What're you still doing here? Sit down, Nan.

I've got to get the dinner on. I think you'll find that's in hand.

Yeah. You can sit down and take the weight off your sling-backs.

This is going to be the best chilli con carne you've ever had.

With a bit of luck and a following wind.

The wind comes later. Do you want a cup of tea, Nan?

Yeah, I'd love one. I'll make it.

What are you two doing? We're doing the laundry.

There's whites, coloureds. Lightly soiled...

Morgan's pants. Oi!

I'm doing a rota on this spreadsheet.

See, this column's all the jobs, washing-up, cleaning.

This one's all the names. Coloured-coded too.

I'm green. Yeah, you will be after you've ate Sonia's dinner.

See, told you it'd all be all right.

DOOR CLOSES

Is that you, Denny?

Where's Phil? He had to go to the Arches.

I'm sorry, Mum. Come here!

You've got nothing to be sorry for. Do you hear me?

Tell me, Patrick. Have you given any thought to your old age?

I'm sorry?

My job is simply to take that worry away from you.

This is where I used to live, Stan. Until Patrick chucked me out.

Shame this ain't still a B

Fat Elvis knows a few Polish boys just crying out for a room.

Let the girls charge by the hour, did you?

What're you talking about? I know what goes on in these B

Don't pretend you didn't turn a blind eye. What did you just say?

You'll have to forgive Patrick, Stan.

He's got a bit prudish in his old age.

You know, you have no idea at all...

What?

Come on. Spit it out.

Let's just get on with the game, shall we?

Oh. You off somewhere?

I thought we could go to Oxford to see Libby.

I was just going to put this in the car.

Thought you two can plan the wedding together,

and I can sit down and do a bit of paperwork...

OK, Ian. Ian. Stop.

I know exactly why you want to get away.

And do you know what? I don't blame you.

Sorry, when exactly did you speak to Libby?

Uh... I haven't spoken to her yet.

Well, she's gonna be busy with work anyway.

So we can always go tomorrow...

No, no. I just really need to get away from this place,

just for a couple of days.

I've asked Shabnam. She said she'd cover you in the shop.

All right, Ian! Let me grab a shower first, though?

Of course, there was one girl caught touting her wares.

Ain't that right, Patrick? I knew it!

Patrick claimed he didn't know anything about it.

Yeah! Likely story!

Look at him, sat there like butter wouldn't melt.

When all along he was Walford's answer to Cynthia Payne!

You think this is funny?

I do, as it happens.

How is Rainie?

What's Rainie got to do with anything? Forget it.

Not until you tell me what you're getting at.

Dominoes originated in China, you know.

Although, some scholars suggest

the game goes back as far as the Egyptians.

Is this all part of your plan, eh? Bore me to death?

I'll have you know Rainie's getting her life together.

Is that right? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it is.

She's got a flat-share over in North London.

I'm pleased to hear that.

What are you raking up all this again for?

Look, let's forget I ever mentioned it. All right?

I don't know what's happened to you lately, Patrick. But this...

..I don't like it one bit.

There you go, sweetheart.

You're looking better.

I told you those pills would do the job, didn't I?

So, say if I was to croak it next week... Heaven forbid.

How much is it gonna cost?

Are we talking an understated affair or something more opulent?

I don't give a monkey's. I'll be brown bread.

Give or take 4,000, I'd say.

Flamin' vultures, the lot of you!

Four grand for a wooden box and a six-foot hole?!

When my time's up, you can stick me out with the bins!

That can be arranged. Four grand?!

I tell you what, Mo, we'll have a whip round, shall we?

Yeah. I could put a jar on the bar.

That's community spirit. Patrick?

Hmm? Oh, sorry.

Don't worry, Patrick. I ain't going nowhere.

Oh, bravo!

Where was you hiding that one? Down your trousers?

What's the matter, Patrick? Would you rather be somewhere else?

Sharon said you came round ours this afternoon?

Yeah. I hadn't seen her for weeks. I was worried.

Well, must have done some good. Cos she's a lot brighter.

Thanks. You all right, girls?

Couple of large white wines, please, Linda.

Where's Dad?

He's over at Patrick's playing dominoes.

With any luck, that's him gone for the night.

I think this calls for a bit of happy hardcore, don't you? Yeah!

Are you two celebrating?

We've almost got enough for our first appointment at the clinic.

Especially now you've agreed to lend us the extra money.

I've done no such thing. Tina? What's this?

You know, what we was talking about in the cafe earlier.

Oh, that money. Teen?

You sure you're both ready? Why d'you say that?

From what Shirley says, you two have got a few issues to resolve first.

Me and T are fine.

That girl means the world to me.

If you so much as hurt a hair on her head, you'll have me to answer to.

Is that understood? You all right?

I was just asking Tosh if she'd like one of my home-made eclairs.

I'll go and plate a few up, shall I?

Can't be much fun. Rattling around this place on your own.

Just give it a rest now, woman.

I was just saying, me and you could make some serious cash here.

She's got a point.

Especially since your daughter's been living with that Beale fella.

She ain't his daughter.

Well, she's as good as. Ain't that right, Patrick?

Come on, it's your turn, Les.

He ain't even playing. He's only here touting for business.

I just think it's time you thought about your future, Maureen.

None of us are getting any younger, you know.

I've got at least 30 years left in me, I'll have you know.

Heaven forbid.

Fat Elvis says I've got the body of a woman half my age.

How's his cataracts?

Hey! Watch it!

Where're you going? Out!

Go on, go. We'll have more fun without you.

Hungry?

All day I've been dreaming about swimming in a sea of cake.

Don't, it's disrespectful. Ian.

Libby? It's Mum. You'll never guess where we're going.

Be fun, won't it?

Ian? Denise!

Denise!

ALL LAUGH

Denise, call me as soon as you pick up this message.

I've got something very, very important to tell you. Call me soon.

Patrick? You OK?

Get an ambulance!

Patrick? Patrick!

All right, Patrick. All right.

Shhh. It's all right, old son. It's OK.

It's all right, Patrick. Just lie there, you'll be all right.

It's all right. Don't try and talk. It's OK, it's OK.

It's all right, Patrick. The ambulance is on its way.

Just lie there.

How do you know people are telling the truth?

You don't.

Well, when did we start funding projects in Gaza?