08/08/2014 EastEnders

Oh, Stace! The babies...

-She needs help.

-She's in a hospital. She'll be fine.

I'm not fine!

We're leaving. I'll get you a nurse.

-No, I need Stacey.

-Sorry.

Kat, just call Alfie, yeah? You'll be fine.

Excuse me. Excuse me, please - she needs a nurse!

Kat, ring me, yeah? Ring me when they get here.

SHE GROANS IN PAIN

He shouldn't have to do this.

-CORA:

-Which is why he needs you here.

It'll be over in a minute - he's innocent.

Mr Michael Carter, it is said that on the 6th August 2014

you did solicit another for the purpose of obtaining that person's sexual services

as a prostitute, contrary to Section 51A of the Sexual Offences Act 2003.

Do you plead guilty or not guilty?

Mr Carter?

I plead guilty.

SHE GASPS

-Linda!

-Leave me alone.

Wait. Let him explain.

I... I don't understand. I mean, why...

Why would he plead guilty? Why did he lie to me?

Well, er...

No. He wouldn't.

Of course.

Of course he wouldn't.

You can't tell anyone about this.

Of course not.

We'll say hello to your dad and then, when we get home,

we're going to play a new game. It's called "stick the label on the perfume bottle."

ALFIE: OK, you lucky people. Everything must go - moving to new premises.

I've got T-shirts, shirts and some wonderful socks!

Hey! And for you, Tamwar, I've got a lovely hoodie

-for the obliging market inspector who's going to keep passing through.

-You can't sell without a stall.

I know. It's just... PHONE RINGS

According to regulation, I should confiscate your stock.

-What?

-Why ain't he got a stall?

-It wasn't my decision.

Whoa, whoa, calm down, calm down. Stop shouting!

I'm going to be there ASAP, don't worry.

Yeah, yeah, listen. Please, don't give birth till I get there, OK?

-I love you too. All right, bye.

-Where is she?

-In the hospital, about to give birth to the twins!

Given the circumstances, I can probably let you off.

Hey, Tamwar, if one of them's a boy I'm going to name him after you!

Mwah! Tamwar Junior - I can see it now!

Right, Tommy, come on, let's go and see Mummy! We've got twins coming - let's go!

Here, look after this. And that.

Come on, Lily.

I'll bet you any money you like it was the prozzie -

told a pack of lies to get herself off the hook.

How long do you think he'll be?

He'll know. He was one of the lawyers, weren't he?

Maybe we could ask him.

Ah, Miss Cross. Just wanted to...

Go home, Linda.

You said we should stay.

It could take for ever. All that paperwork and stuff...

Yeah, but he could be out any minute.

Yeah. Go on, darling.

You don't want to have it out with him here, in public.

Go on, sweetheart, go home.

-But he knows I'm here.

-He needs you at the Vic -

someone's got to cover for him.

Linda, if this gets out,

it'll be all over the Square.

You're right.

Thanks, Cora.

-DENISE:

-Hiya.

Emma brought some posters round, but he's just staring at 'em.

Ian?

They look, er...

Yeah.

Emma wants to know when we're going to watch that CCTV footage.

Yeah, but that can wait, though, can't it?

Yeah, but I mean, she thinks we should see it before the appeal.

So we know what to expect.

-Dad?

-What?

-We can go down the station now, if you want...

Oh, Peter, will you just leave it? Not now, all right?

Rainie?

Lorraine!

Here she is.

We'll let you know as soon as a delivery suite becomes available.

# Here we go, here we go...! # Thank you, darling.

I'll be back in five minutes.

-And the children won't be able to stay.

-Where have you been?

-What?

-I'm sorry, Alfie.

-No, no, don't be sorry. What you talking about? I'm here now.

-I'm not going to let you go through this by yourself, am I?

-Have you seen Jean?

-No.

She doesn't want to come home - she wants to be admitted to a psychiatric hospital.

Ollie is all over the place.

-You're about to give birth to two little Moons. Jean can wait.

-Alfie!

You should be focusing on what's happening down below.

-Look, there's something else.

-Is it important?

-I promised Stacey.

It's Lily. She's got no-one else. They'll put her in care.

-I said we'd have her.

-OK, that's fine.

-What do you mean?

-We'll take her with us - it's fine.

-I promised Stacey!

Calm down. I said it's fine, didn't I? Just breathe!

-Everything all right?

-Yeah, all right, all right. Listen, Kat, I'm sorry.

Listen, Mo, can you stay with Kat, OK? I'm going to pop in on Jean.

I've got to try and find someone to take the kids.

-KAT GROANS You all right?

-Can't you call Bianca?

-I'll look after her.

-OK. Listen, you can't have the babies yet.

-Keep your legs closed, put tights on or something.

-What?!

-I'll be straight back.

Kids, we got to go. Come on, let's go. Listen, keep an eye on her, OK?

I'll be straight back, I promise. Let's go. This way, guys.

You been bulk-buying your underwear again?

No, it's Alfie's. Kat's giving birth.

Right.

Well, technically, it's called queening, actually.

What? Sorry, you've lost me.

When a cat gives birth, it's called queening.

It's like whelping, but for dogs. For cats.

Have you shared all this with Alfie? Queening?

No. I didn't think it was appropriate.

He said he was going to call one of them Tamwar.

-One of the kittens?

-No, one of the babies.

Oh, right. Yeah...

See you later.

Hi. All right, Jean?

Alfie. Where's Kat?

-Well, yeah, that's the thing, you see...

-No, not really.

-Is she OK?

-Yeah, yeah, no... She's... She's having the babies!

-Oh, my goodness!

-Congratulations!

Well almost, not quite. It's all kicking off in the maternity ward!

-You should be there.

-Yeah, I am. I will. I just thought you should know - that's all.

-Yeah, course.

-I've got to find someone to look after these two.

Don't worry about Lily. She's going to stay with us for a while, OK? You concentrate on getting better, OK?

I'll be thinking of you. See you, Ollie. Take care, bye. Come on, kids, let's go. Follow me.

Last time, you sent your social worker...

or counsellor or whatever...

because you couldn't face me.

What do you want?

She let me know that you didn't want to see me.

You were getting yourself together.

-You was clean.

-I am.

I AM!

What was you doing in court? Was it drugs?

-What do you care?

-You're my daughter.

I saw you with that lawyer.

It was some punter, all right?

This loser who gets picked up by the cops...

-SHE CHUCKLES

-Your face!

NO!

-That lawyer...

-He sent me home.

What was the case?

He admitted it. Pleaded guilty - they didn't need me.

What was his name?

I don't know. I don't ask 'em their names, do I?!

Look, Terry, I'm trying, mate, but she ain't picking up.

Yeah, yeah, course I'll let you know.

All right, see you, mate, bye.

What we going to do with you two, then, eh?

Can I have a bag of crisps?

Oh, Lily, I don't think I've got any money on me, sweetheart.

Oh, look what I've found here. It's a pound!

Do you want to go and get some sweets and some crisps, yeah?

Go on, then. Go and share it.

And bring me back my change, all right? Be good.

HE SIGHS

SHE SIGHS

I've got to go.

Had my half hour, have I?

Easy money.

Cash in hand.

I...

I need help, Mum.

That's all I've got till Monday.

I don't know the going rate.

Can you get a fix for 35 quid?

Will that stop you from selling yourself for one night?

I need a drink.

SHE GROANS

-Another contraction?

-I can't do this.

You need to keep a positive attitude.

-I'm too old!

-My sister was 43 when she had her twins.

-I'm 44!

-We'll get you to a delivery suite as soon as we can.

She could pop any minute!

-She's three centimetres - we're quite safe.

-Ooh, it hurts!

It's the latent phase -

nothing's actually going on, but it hurts like crazy.

All right? Ooh, OK.

-They're still in there, then, are they?

-Where's Tommy and Lily?

I left them with Barbara - tea lady. She's keeping an eye on them.

-What about Bianca?

-I couldn't get anybody. I tried. I'm sorry.

-You're just going to leave them with a stranger all day?

-No! Maybe Mo can look after them.

-Maybe you can get your finger out!

-Maybe everyone can calm down.

She has got a point.

I've just had a bit of trouble with the stall...you know?

I just wanted to be here with you, didn't I?

What about the stall?

-It's nothing serious.

-Well, just tell me.

Get it over with - she's due another contraction any second.

Right, listen. Don't panic. Keep breathing, all right?

-It's just that I've lost my pitch cos Aleks has shut me down.

-What?

-You've got some timing, Alfie!

-Shut up!

-I told you!

You can't just... You can't just pull a sickie whenever you want to -

-not on the market.

-It wasn't like that!

Well, maybe it was like that, but he wants any excuse to get rid of me, all right?

I'll leave you to it, then. I'm going to find those kids.

So, back to these babies...

How are we going to manage?

I don't know. SHE GROANS

Ian, it's me.

No. No, not on the phone.

I'll come and find you.

SHE GROANS Here, Kat, you know what?

You keep doing the breathing thing. I reckon, you know, four kids'll be a doddle.

I mean, how many has Bianca got, eh?

-You're insane.

-No. No, it's a challenge.

-We've been in worse situations. We always come out fighting.

-We're living at my nan's.

There's no room for Tommy, we're going home with three more kids. You've got no job, no money.

We'll sort something out.

-Dad! Not helping.

-Excuse me, it's a private conversation.

-You want me to leave, then?

-No!

-All right, it's all right!

-Right, then.

Just breathe through this one, Mum. Take the gas and air if you need it.

That's it, that's it, that's it.

Keep breathing, Mum. There you go. There's a good girl.

Come on, we're going to get through this, OK, Kat?

Well, you get through this bit on your own and we'll do the rest together.

SHE WAILS

Whatever it takes, all right?

I'm here, Kat, I'm here.

I'm here, it's OK.

-Do you know how long she's going to be?

-No!

I don't get why you even need to see her.

None of your beeswax!

Just tell her I was here.

Why don't you just ring her or text her or something?

I'm not your little messenger kid.

-There you go.

-Did I ever tell you...

Not now, Dean. Everything all right, darling?

Yeah, so have you sorted all that business?

-Yeah, all sorted.

-And Dad's still at the bank or whatever, is he?

He won't be long.

Anyway...everything seems under control here.

So, well done. I'll, er...

I'll be back down in a sec. Give you a hand.

-Ooh, it's happening!

-Still a long way to go.

-No, I need to push.

-Not yet.

-You can't push yet, Kat.

-What do you know about it?

I need to push!

All right, can I examine you?

-I'm really proud of you. You're doing....

-Ooh!

-You're doing great!

-I need to push!

OK, so you're eight centimetres. We need to get you moved.

OK, we're going to get you moved. SHE YELLS

Hold on, hold on, Kat, you've got to hold on.

Just keep breathing. That's all right.

SHE SOBS

Do you want to talk about it?

-SHE SIGHS

-Dean.

What's wrong?

Nothing!

It's been a busy week - that's all.

-Did you speak to Stan?

-Yeah.

Where's Mick?

Hey.

Er...

like I say, it's, er...

It's been a busy week.

It's OK, Kat, you just got to keep breathing.

It might be a bit too late for that.

The presenting part is visible. We'll have to do it here.

If you can open the delivery packs and get the paediatrician.

You're full of surprises. This one's ready to come out!

-I told you, didn't I, Kat, eh?

-No, no, no, I can't.

-Yes, you can!

-You can do this, sweetheart!

This time, when you feel the urge to push,

-I want you to really go for it, OK?

-You got to push, all right, girl?

-SHE YELLS

-That's it. Really good. Don't forget to breathe.

-Don't forget to breathe, Kat!

-You're nearly there.

Baby's just waiting for you. Next contraction, you push.

-All right, sweetheart.

-We don't even know what to call 'em!

Deep breaths, deep breaths.

Do as the lady tells you. Do as the lady tells you.

That's it, come in, mate - it's going to be here any moment now! That's it. Come on, girl.

Short breaths. Pant, pant, pant, tiny push.

-SHE YELLS

-Push, and pant again.

-Pant-pant-pant. Tiny push. One more push...

-I can see the head! I can see the head, Kat!

SHE YELLS

-Oh, look at that!

-You've done it! He's here.

We got a little boy. It's a little boy, Kat!

Oh, I love you, Alfie.

I love you too, Kat. I love you too!

We've got a little boy. He's a lovely little boy!

HE CHUCKLES

Sorry, w-w-what's that look all about? What's going on?

He's not crying. There's something wrong with him.

What's going on? I saw the way... What?

-He's not crying - something's wrong.

-He's all right. He needs oxygen.

Where you going?! Go after him!

You stay with him. Don't let him out of your sight. He's our little boy.

-OK, OK!

-You don't let him out of your sight - do you understand?

-SHE YELLS

So, er...

..have they dropped the charges?

-It's sorted.

-Oh, Mick, thank you. Thank you so much.

-Yeah.

-Thank you.

Yeah, well, never again, all right?

Absolutely.

Peter and Denise are in the Vic. They keep calling me.

I bet you're dying for a drink, ain't you?

If that's OK with you.

You're always welcome in my gaff.

I don't even want a drink, Lauren. What are we doing here?

I don't know. I just thought it'd be nice.

But it was a stupid idea. Let's go.

Well, we're here now, so...

-Dad's on his way.

-I'm really not sure he's up for this, you know.

He's probably got a lot on his mind.

Well, obviously.

-Sorry, I just...

-Oh, no, no.

No, it's all right. It gets to all of us.

I'm sorry.

Actually, Mick's been brilliant. He's been a really good friend.

And we know that Ian hasn't got many of those, so we appreciate it.

That's my Mick.

-Ooh...so that's why we're here, then!

-Sh!

You all right, girls? Can I buy you a drink?

MACHINE BLEEPS

SHE SOBS AND GROANS

Ready?

SHE GROANS

-Can I go now, please?

-No, not yet.

Do you want another drink, girls?

-Please.

-Mm-hm.

Er, excuse me! That was the longest bank appointment ever.

Yeah, well...

Ooh, I hate bankers - bunch of criminals!

You're looking dapper, Mick.

It always pays to make a good impression.

You having money problems, Mick?

It's never too early to take out a personal pension.

Yeah. No, I spotted a few grey hairs in the old canister this morning.

Made me think about our long-term options.

He's fine.

So's his brother.

THEY GIGGLE

Wow! Come and say hello to your brother.

-There you go.

-Oh, look!

There you go.

-Hello!

-Wow!

BABIES CRY

You done it, Kat. You done it.

KAT CHUCKLES

I'm sorry.

Guilty?! Have you completely lost your mind?

It was my brief.

She said it was the only way of closing it down.

I plead guilty, we pay the fine,

there's no fuss, there's no bother, nobody needs to know.

-But you didn't do it!

-Pay a £500 fine and it just goes away.

-No! It's not right.

-What choice did I have?

You could've told 'em it was Ian Beale with that tart, not you!

Why did you have to say you did it?

It's just words. It's just...

It's just words.

-Well, we're not paying that 500 quid.

-Ian doesn't know about it.

We're not paying his fine. I'm serious, Mick. We ain't got it!

Well, we'll find it, you know...

Don't you...

Don't you think he's got enough on his mind at the moment?

It's not fair.

What if it gets out?

It won't. How can it?

I don't want the kids finding out.

I pled guilty so that it would go away.

You have to let it go. It's done, it's dusted. We just...

-Oh, God!

-We just pretend it never happened. We just...

Please, L, please let it go.

Let it go.

Now, you know I didn't touch her.

You know that.

KAT AND ALFIE CHUCKLE

Hey, look who it is!

Let's have a look.

Oh!

Two boys? Ooh, you ain't half asking for trouble!

Three boys!

Well, exactly! I'll tell you what, let's go and do an Alfie selfie.

Let's see if we can all get in on this one, OK?

I think my arms might be a bit too...

Imogen, sweetheart, you couldn't do the honours, could you? Thank you so much.

Come on, you're part of this family, young lady - you've got to be in this picture as well!

Come and meet your family - there you go! Right, budge over...

-Mind the babies, you big pillock!

-"Mind the babies." I'll be minding these babies for ever, I will!

So what you going to call 'em, then?

They haven't come up with a name yet, have they?

-Nope, not yet.

-They will, though.

Well, you can't keep calling 'em Bert and Ernie.

OK, right, we're all in for a smile. Right, you pair.

Come on, smile at the camera. Smile for Auntie Imogen!

That's it, big smile. One, two, three - cheese!

So, do you fancy that drink?

Not over there.

Looks to me as if you've had a few.

-What if I have?

-Nothing wrong with that.

Come and have another one.

Make a night of it. Stay for breakfast.

I fancy seeing that look on Linda's face again.

She's a good woman.

If you say so.

She don't deserve it.

What you on about?

-What is it?

-Nothing.

Personal. Family.

Oh!

Yeah, I've got one of those - they do your head in.

Mind you, when they're not around...

that's worse.

Come and have a drink.

-Any news on them kittens?

-No.

-PETER:

-Dad!

Come on, sit down. I've got you a drink.

You all right?

Yeah. Yeah, today was a good day, actually.

Good.

You ARE allowed to have a good day.

I'm sorry about earlier. I...

It was just...

Look, I...

I know I can be a pain sometimes.

And I don't mean to be horrible,

especially to you. Well, to both of you.

You're both so important to me.

I love you to bits.

Aw, come here!

-Just leave it.

-But if...

-L, it's over. Please. Please.

So, what's the deal with your nan?

Is she a nice girl? Is she good enough for my grandad?

Er, is he good enough for her? That's the question.

Right. These are on the house.

Thanks, son. Don't mind if I do.

PHONE BLEEPS

-Two boys.

-Ah, amazing!

-Which one's Tamwar, then?

-PHONES BLEEP

Aw, that's fantastic!

-Oh!

-Twins.

Oh, ain't they lovely?

They're beautiful. Absolutely beautiful.

Right.

Everybody, this calls for a toast.

To Kat and Alfie and Tommy,

whose family just got bigger and better by two lovely little boys!

And I think, you know what, it's all about family, ain't it, eh?

So, stand up, get on your trotters.

Let's raise our glasses, please...

You hypocrite!

Family?!

No, it's all right, Cora. It's all sorted.

-Here...

-Get your hand off me!

Nan?!

Treating women like dirt...

Cora, why don't we have a little sit down, and we'll have a chat and a drink, OK?

You're so full of yourself.

You REALLY are a family man, ain't you?

-What are you talking about?

-Don't!

I'm talking about him...

and his whoring.

That's what I'm talking about!

You want to know where he was today? Ask him.

Down at the court...

for kerb crawling.

And he didn't even deny it!