26/09/2014 EastEnders

Well, it's...

Yeah, yeah, no, it's...

It's, erm...

It's what your mother wanted.

Yeah...

So... Bless her. We better crack on inside, eh.

-Yep.

-Boys? Is Sharon about?

Yeah, she's upstairs, mate...

Hold up. You got clean trotters?

Bit bland, ain't it?

I'd say classy, Shirley.

But I wouldn't expect you to know what that is.

Ah! There she is, the bride to be. Did you sleep all right?

Yeah, not bad, just a bit stiff from that make-shift bed.

Well, next time we'll make sure you get the penthouse suite.

Jay?

-Johnny sent me up.

-These came to the house for you.

Aw! They're from Michelle and Ian, and Mark Jnr.

It's a shame they couldn't be here today, ain't it?

Yeah, I know but, they would if they could, wouldn't they?

So, how's Phil doing?

All right, he didn't sleep much last night. Must be nerves.

-Tell him I love him, won't you?

-I will, see you there.

All right, bye. OK, so...

The photographer is stopping by to take some pics before heading to the venue.

-Right.

-Dean should be here in an hour or so.

He's going to do your hair first, then me.

Roxy's coming over with Amy to get their hair done.

The car should be here around 11, getting us to the town hall in plenty of time.

-Linda, I can't thank you enough, you've been amazing.

-Cheers.

Oi, Sharon, I had to wrestle that off the dog - sorry.

SHIRLEY: Very classy(!)

It's this whole matron of honour thing.

It's gone right to L's nut.

Listen - we can manage without you today. Why don't you go into town?

Go and treat yourself or something, eh?

We're almost ready downstairs.

All right.

I'm fine.

RADIO: Sam Smith there on Radio 1 and we should probably play

that for the people that are getting married today.

Linda Carter has been in touch - morning, Linda -

So good luck, Sharon and Phil...

Did you sleep in that suit, Denny?

Morning.

Ben's whistle.

Phil, you haven't even shaved yet.

We've got hours.

You jump in the shower and I'll get the bacon on.

Oh, and...

-red or brown?

-Whatever.

Sharon loved them flowers. She's really excited.

-TEXT ALERT

-The Vic looks mint.

What are you making?

-Bacon sarnies, want one?

-Yeah, go on, be rude not to!

Hold on, you ready for this?

-Oh, I hope you like it!

-Hold up, hold up, hold up,.

Right...

Get hold of that.

Ooh!

Yeah, we was up all night making it look special for you, Sharon.

Hello? Yes, yeah, Linda speaking...

Oh, it's fantastic. Better than I ever imagined.

Thanks, Mick.

We've got Calvin Harris over there, spinning the decks.

Creating a perfect playlist as we speak.

Have you got any requests?

Got any Roy Orbison?

You ain't even going to be here.

Getting your old tag taken off today, ain't you?

And with me new-found freedom I'm off to Whitstable -

have a proper knees up with me old mucker Ginger Pete.

Ginger Pete! Lock up your Grannies, eh.

-The photographer's been delayed.

-Oh, don't worry, I'll just take photos on my phone.

-They'll look really special(!)

-L, you're taking this far too seriously.

I'm matron of honour, Mick. The whole day practically hinges on me!

Why is it called matron of honour? It sounds like something out of Game of Thrones.

It's just a poncey way of saying head bridesmaid.

I can't believe this is actually happening.

Well, love always finds a way, know what I mean?

Oh, look it says... It's matron of honour if you're married.

But chief bridesmaid if you ain't.

You don't need to be here.

Trust me, babe. He ain't marrying her.

# Going to the chapel and we're going to get married... #

Get down from there, you.

# Going to the chapel and we're going to get married... #

Ain't we had enough gaffs burnt down round here lately?

Don't call it smoky bacon for nothing Phil.

That's cremated, Billy, cremated.

-Nervous?

-You having a laugh?

Hey look, finished my speech. Jay, no! Jay that's confidential!

Let's have a look at this.

Right.

"You might not know this, ladies and gentlemen.

"But Phil doesn't have a good track record with getting married.

"When he told his ex-girlfriend Lisa he wanted a shotgun wedding,

"she kind of got the wrong end of the stick..."

"Note to self - do gun with hand..."

You can't say that!

-It's just a joke!

-It ain't very funny, is it?

-It don't matter now - you ain't the best man.

-What you talking about?

It's me and Ben now.

Don't worry, mate, we'll find something for you to do.

Sorry Bill, it's Sharon's idea.

-So you and Sharon, you're getting on

-well, then? Yeah.

Well, what did you two talk about?

She was kind. Didn't judge - like some people.

Shirley, you mean.

She ain't never going to change, is she?

Never going to forgive me for Hev.

So if you go through with this plan then get back with Shirley,

-where does that leave me, Dad?

-KNOCK AT DOOR

I'll get it.

Ben! Oh, you're out!

-Yeah.

-You look really well.

-Thanks. You too.

Ron, what you doing back?

We're here to stop you making the biggest mistake of your life.

I really appreciate this, Dean.

Anything for the beautiful bride.

For the last time, Amy, no!

You're not getting your hair done like Rihanna!

I can give it a go.

See! And I want my make-up done.

-So who's up for a glass of fizz?

-Oh, yes, please.

It's a bit early for me. Amy, get out of there now or you're not going to a wedding!

-I'm getting married to Charlie!

-Oh, what a lovely day for a wedding!

It's so exciting...

Morning, Pam.

Bouquets, check.

There you are, Linda, from the bride.

What?! Aw, Sharon!

A little something for everything you've done today.

Oh, they're beautiful. Thank you!

And this one is for you, Roxanne.

-Oh, thank you.

-You sure you don't want one?

Yeah, go on, then, all right.

And me and Les look forward to raising a glass to you both later.

Right, I think we're done.

Right.

-You don't like it, do you?

-Erm...

It's what we agreed?

Yeah, but seeing it again, I....

Well, can you try something else?

Not really, I've got everyone else to do.

This is why I don't do weddings.

-Look, it's fine.

-No, you can't have "fine" on your special day.

Dean, you'll have to get one of your other stylists over.

-It's Saturday. Everyone's swamped.

-Well, you must know someone!

MOBILE PHONE RINGS

There it goes. Feel it.

Oh, yeah.

Decent right foot there, you'll be sticking him away for West Ham soon.

-Oh, right.

-So... Who's the dad?

It's complicated.

That means she don't know.

Ben, how was prison?

-Er. Great(!)

-Good.

-Thanks.

There you go, Aunt Sal, nice cup of tea.

Don't look it. Phil. Your mother feels very strongly about this.

Sharon Watts ain't no good for you.

So, why didn't she come herself, instead of sending her puppet?

Cos she hasn't forgiven you for flogging The Vic yet.

She don't want you to make another stupid mistake.

-Sam feels the same.

-And Grant?

He thinks it's a sick joke.

Right, well, I'm going down the Arches - pick up the Jag.

I'll come with you.

Sal, you can keep the boys company, can't you?

I don't suppose there's any drink in the house, Phil, is there?

Down to your "little problem".

Right. I want everyone's glasses topped up in between courses.

And no boozing on the job.

Think he means you, Tina. ha-ha!

-But it's a wedding...

-Baby, please...

OK.

-Have you seen Dean?

-Life-saver. Up here.

-You're paying me double for this.

-Yeah.

-Glass of champagne, if you can trouble yourself.

-Sal.

I see you didn't get an invite either.

Don't know what's the matter with my nephew. Marrying that tramp.

I'll get you a glass on the house.

Yeah.

-RONNIE: How much did she take?

-Enough.

How did she do it?

She done it with that scumbag Marcus Christie.

Cooked it up between 'em.

The wedding probably cost more than she stole.

Why are you still marrying her, then?

I'm not. Well, I weren't...

-I had this plan to confront her at the altar.

-Wow.

She's made a mug of me, Ron. I wanted to do the same to her.

Anyway you've changed your tune.

You didn't have a problem with me marrying Sharon before you went away.

Yeah, well, I've been living with your mum for three months - need I say more?

Thousands of miles away and she's still trying to run my life.

I know Sharon isn't as bad as your mum makes out.

Sharon's been brilliant with Ben.

Yeah, maybe. But do you love her, Phil?

Yeah, but...

But what, you want to humiliate her?

I don't know, Ron. I've never been confused like this in my life.

Look, if you love her, then marry her,

but you've got to stop playing these games.

Do you remember what you said to me when

I was thinking of getting rid of the baby?

You said when life gives you a chance, you've got to take it.

No matter how hard, no matter how difficult.

Well, look, I've taken mine.

But what about you? You've got Ben back here,

you've got a shot at having a proper family.

Look, you can't spend your life trying to make other people happy.

Either marry her or finish it, Phil.

-There we go.

-Oh, thanks Stacey - it's gorgeous!

Dean, you should snap her up.

# If you want to taste my kisses in the night yeah! #

I bet Phil can't wait to taste your kisses tonight.

Urgh, please! That's disgusting.

That's my cousin we're talking about, thank you.

Seriously though, Sharon, isn't it frightening -

that moment when you realise you're never ever

going to do it with anyone else again, as long as you live?

I'd rather be dead.

They just ain't found true love yet, have they Sharon?

-Then they'll get it.

-Exactly.

So I take it Aleks hasn't got down on one knee yet, then?

Aleks can't be bothered to come today, no.

More chance of Harry Styles proposing to me.

-Well, he does like an older woman.

-Excuse me!

Have you filled your plus one in yet, Dean?

You could take Stacey?

-No, I have, actually. I've asked Lauren.

-Oh.

Well, you're more than welcome to come anyway, Stace.

I've got to go and see Kat but if I finish in time I'll pop in for a drink.

Oh, poor Kat. At least she's got Alfie.

-That's true.

-Right, I think we're ready for take two.

-Really?

-Drum roll, please.

-I love it, Dean!

-Yeah?

-I absolutely love it, thank you.

Yay! My turn.

I've got to go.

Listen, thanks, Stace. You really got me out a jam today.

-That's all right. Good luck, Sharon!

-Thanks, darling.

Thanks, Stacey. Thanks for everything!

-Oh, I look like Rapunzel.

-I love it, I love it.

Stace! Listen, how about we make this a more permanent arrangement?

What, like a job?

Yeah, if you still want it.

Have a think and get back to me.

Well, yeah, that's great, I'll take it.

All right. Fantastic.

Aye, aye, Stace. Stick the kettle on.

Tosh was right.

-You what?

-You started the fire.

No, I told you it was an electrical fault, the fire report was wrong.

Liar! And you haven't lost everything.

You couldn't bear to lose this.

Right, I was wondering where that was, I've been looking...

Oh, Alfie, stop!

What the hell were you thinking?

You nearly killed her. She's the mother of your kids!

It could have been any us in there.

It could have been me, Lily, Tommy, the twins.

Nan... And poor Peter and Johnny, they ran in and risked their lives.

And everyone thinks that you're this big hero.

She wasn't supposed to be there, Stace. Nobody was.

That's not the point, Alfie! We've lost everything!

How could you be so stupid? And I stood there and defended you.

It was only supposed to be...

a small fire. Smoke damage. Enough to cover the contents insurance.

-It's fraud, Alfie!

-WE HAD NO MONEY, STACEY. YOU KNOW THAT!

It was just enough to get us through. To feed us all.

And what, you think that makes it all right, do you? Cos you did it for us?

You need to tell Kat the truth.

Don't you think she's going through enough right now?

She'll find out eventually - it'll all come out.

When she knows that you've been lying to her this whole time.

She deserves to know the truth, Alfie. You need to tell her today.

And now, by the power invested in me,

I pronounce you man and wife.

You may kiss the bride.

Aw, I love you, Sharon!

Ooh, Phil, you big hunk of love!

Guys...

Oi, shut it, Carter, or I'll break your legs!

This should be good.

Front row seats.

Aunt Babe needs you in the kitchen.

And you two.

Nothing like being turfed out your own gaff.

Come to your senses now, have you?

You promised.

I need to speak to Sharon.

You say "no" now, Phil, it's no for ever.

-Where is she?

-They're just getting ready, mate.

GIRLS LAUGH

Phil... It's bad luck!

It's all right, Linda.

What is it, Phil?

What are you doing? Give 'em some privacy.

Sssh!

-What you doing?

-Earwigging.

L...

Ha! Mick!

Did you really think... eh?

Did you really think that I wouldn't find out?

I stopped. I was putting it back.

First of all you manage to put the Albert in your name

and I caught you, didn't I?

And then you team up with some scumbag brief to do this.

And all because of Dennis. When's it going to stop, eh?

I told you the truth, didn't I?

I didn't know that Johnny Allen was going to have Dennis killed.

I admitted to you that I wanted him shaken up a bit,

but I didn't know he was going to die, I didn't want that.

I admitted all that to you.

And I thought that you believed me.

-You think this is just about Dennis?

-I trusted you. I loved you,

I really loved you, Sharon

and all that you've done is betray me.

What do you know about trust?

Well, come on, tell me.

Why didn't you just do it yourself, eh?

Didn't want to get your hands dirty? Is that it?

So you paid some other thugs to do it instead.

Oh, yeah, Phil.

I know it was you who set the attack on the Albert.

And I know it was you who had me beaten to a pulp.

So, you lot get to live happy ever after.

The Waltons of Walford.

I'm sorry.

I'd give anything to go back to the way we were -

you with my dad.

I always thought you'd get married.

Me as best man, Hev as bridesmaid.

Yeah, well, you put paid to that, didn't you?

You were the only one who was ever really there for me, you know.

I thought of you as a mum.

I did.

And I loved you.

I still do.

I wish things could have been different, Shirley.

They...

They weren't meant to touch you.

Just a little scare, right?

Well, it worked, Phil.

And it made me question everything.

You know, if Johnny...

hadn't have been there and called an ambulance if...

If he'd have clocked off early then that would have been it.

Denny left with no-one.

You know, after I heard you and Shirley...

I was so scared of you, I wanted to run.

To take Denny, get away and be safe.

That's why I stole your precious money.

So, why...?

But when I saw how cut up you were about Ben and Jay.

And how you've been there for Ian and Peter and Cindy...

It made me remember the man I fell in love with.

How long...

How long have you known?

-HOW LONG?!

-A couple of weeks. I saw...

I saw you and Marcus.

Well, I don't understand.

I mean if you've known all this time, then why all this?

Were you going to wait until we were married till you told me?

Were you even going to turn up? What was it, Phil? Tell me, huh?

I wanted everyone to know what you've done.

Get out.

-Sharon...

-I SAID GET OUT!

-I'm not going anywhere.

-Fine!

I didn't go through with it, did I? I didn't go through with it.

You know, after you talked to Ben. And I saw how you were with him...

What, and that's...

That's what made you change your mind?

Because I talked to Ben? That's why you want to marry me now?

Forget your brilliant plan because I like your son?

No, because, I could see that we could be happy, Sharon.

Our little family, you know, me, you, Denny, Ben, Jay.

We could, we could be happy, Sharon.

And that day in the hospital...

when I asked you to marry me, I meant it.

You felt guilty.

I said it, I asked you to marry me, because I love you.

You don't know the meaning of the word!

After... After the attack...

I thought I'd lost you. And it felt...

It just felt like my world had come to an end.

Well, that's love, ain't it?

And everything that's happened after that has happened

because I thought you were lying to me.

It's happened because I thought that you didn't love me.

This? In front of everyone, in front of my son?

You see, that's the difference between us.

I stopped.

Made it right.

So will I.

You know, it's ironic, isn't it? This place.

This is where it all started, you and me - do you remember?

This is where it ends.

Sharon, please, please.

I will never...

I will never let anything bad happen to you again.

I promise you.

You're safe with me, Sharon, you're safe.

I promise, you're safe.

You're safe, darling.

You're safe, I swear.

Nothing bad,

nothing bad will ever happen to you again. I swear.

I swear.

I still want you to marry me. I do.

Please. Please, will you marry me?

And I'm sorry.

I am truly, truly sorry.

You best get yourself down the town hall.

(Thank you.)

-Are you OK? Is the wedding still on?

-Yeah.

Oh, thank goodness. You had me worried.

I'm sorry, Shirl...

Right, well, we're still on schedule. Just about.

The cars will be here any minute, so we should wait downstairs, yeah?

-We'll sort your make-up out down there.

-Thanks.

Amy, I won't tell you again!

KNOCK AT DOOR

Hello?

What?!

How you doing, sis?

I can't believe what you've done.

Look, Stace. I just miss them so much.

It's all right, Kat, I know. I know.

APPLAUSE

Wish me luck!

Ian!

I knew you wouldn't let me walk down that aisle alone.

Sharon, I'm not here to walk you down the aisle.

I'm here to stop you marrying Phil.

Can I have a cab?

Queen Victoria pub, Albert Square.

Walford town hall. Thanks.