05/05/2016 EastEnders

Right, I'm off.

Not drinking your tea?

In a minute.

Well, don't let it get stewed.

You're not still annoyed about Jay, are you?

-I've said I'm not, haven't I?

-He'll be an asset, you'll see.

Have a great day.

-I'm sure we can squeeze an en-suite into our room.

-Oh, here we go.

What do you think this gaff is? The TARDIS?

Well, we've got to do something. I'm fed up of queuing

for the bathroom and Whitney takes forever in there.

I've told you, you want a pony, go downstairs.

I am not traipsing up and down the stairs every time I need the khazi.

-Just get us a quote, all right?

-Yes, darling. Anything to make you happy.

-Good.

-SHE CHUCKLES

Talking of being happy, who have you been matched with? Lucifer?

As if I need to look for a man online.

Best start soaking my chickpeas.

What are you talking about? Chickpeas?

I don't want no couscous in this gaff. Stick to what you know best.

Good English muck.

What a beautiful egg, though, darling, got to say, babe.

Did you sleep? I know I didn't.

A bit.

Why are you still here?

I mean, it's not likely that Roxy is going to make an appearance,

so why haven't you gone back to Danny?

Charming.

I've got too much going on right now.

I don't need you on top of everything else.

-I need to focus on finding Roxy.

-You're not the only one.

You just want your money back.

You're not telling me everything, are you?

Tell me!

-I'm in here.

-Oh, course you are.

What's it meant to be?

Well, it's a saxophone. Mr Kent played in a band.

It shouldn't be here today. The funeral's till tomorrow.

They should have got Nan to do it.

Then it would have looked like a saxophone

and arrived on the right day. Where do you want it?

Jay, take it round the back to Big Nigel and ask him

-if he needs it for anything.

-Yep.

-Which one's Big Nigel?

-The big one, of course!

Come on, I'll show you.

-You regretting taking him on?

-I didn't take him on.

-It's your nan who collects strays.

-Do you need me to help out?

-No.

I need to get my head straight. You best get back to the stall.

All right. Well, I'll catch you later, yeah?

She said she had something going on in Ibiza.

Like what?

Well, you know what she gets like when she's excited about something.

I couldn't make head nor tail of it.

But Danny thought it was a good idea. So he gave her two grand.

And I had a thousand saved, so...

-We gave her the lot.

-Don't tell me, she disappeared with all the money.

Did this business have anything to do with drugs?

Of course not! I wouldn't get involved with something like that!

And Roxy's put all that behind her.

So you are sticking around just to get your money back.

-Partly.

-Mm.

But I also wanted to see you and my grandchildren.

Yeah, but mainly just the money.

Danny's job's fallen through and I can't support us both.

The money would be very useful.

Look, Roxy's out there, clearly in trouble.

We stand a better chance of finding her together, don't we?

It's going to put a lot of people off, that's all I'm saying.

Jay didn't know she was only 14.

And it's not... And it's not as if they had sex.

He was grooming her. Getting her to send him dirty pictures.

I'm surprised at you, Donna Yates! It's not like you to judge people.

And you're far too nice for your own good. Mud sticks, Pam.

For a lot of people, Jay Mitchell's a kiddie fiddler.

Get rid of him.

-Are you two plotting something?

-All right?

You're plotting something, aren't you?

No, course not.

-Just chatting about oranges.

-Oranges. Yeah.

They are getting expensive.

Right. Now I know you are plotting something.

We should tell her.

-All right.

-We're going to steal toilets.

It was Martin and Andy's idea and I'm going to help.

Toilets?!

Yeah, Jack had them delivered by mistake. 40 of them.

He don't want them and we're going to flog them.

Loos? Seriously?

Yeah. Andy said that Jack's going to flog them anyway.

We need the money far more than he does, don't we?

-Great, I knew you was going to say no.

-Oh, really?

You knew that I wouldn't be keen on you getting caught nicking toilets?

We ain't going to get caught.

No, too right you're not cos you can forget about the whole idea.

Well, you know, that went well(!)

His team won again at the weekend, so the next round is the counties.

Oh, that's good. I suppose.

-You don't sound very pleased.

-I am, course I am. It's just...

Well, hockey. It's a bit St Trinian's, isn't it?

Maybe back in your day, Mum, but the boys play it now.

I'm not saying I wouldn't, of course I would, but she's getting married.

So? You could be soul mates.

Soul mates(!)

How can you not believe in soul mates?

-You and Stacey could be destined to be together.

-She's marrying Martin.

I'm not a home wrecker. Anyway, I thought

you God Squad believed in the sanctity of marriage.

Yeah, to the right person.

But you said it yourself, the kid's not even Martin's,

so why are you being put off by him? I think you'd make a great couple.

Well, if you fancy her so much, why don't you go for it?

Show her some of that golden banter you've been going on about.

Nah, if I was going to use my banter on anyone, it would be the

-angelic Ronnie.

-What sort of deal?

Obviously, there wasn't any kind of deal. She just wanted the money.

-But why?

-Now's your chance.

-Oi! Aren't you two supposed to be getting these taps?

-Sorry, boss.

I think Linford wanted to say something, though.

I don't know what he's talking about.

(Golden banter, mate. Golden!)

-So you really think she's in trouble?

-Of course she's in trouble.

She was beaten black and blue

and she's tried to do a runner from the hospital.

Why aren't you even worried about this?

I've got nothing to do with Roxy, have I?

She's the mother of your kid. And even if she wasn't, she's my sister.

OK.

-What do you want me to do?

-I don't know.

I just want you to be supportive. I don't trust my mother.

However much she pretends,

that woman hasn't got a maternal bone in her body.

You missed a bit.

I can't believe you're working here, bruv.

-It's a job, isn't it?

-Dead people.

-Well, I can't afford to be choosy.

People aren't exactly lining up to take me on.

I'm grateful to Pam and Les. They took a big a chance on me.

-You're doing a great job there, Jay. Morning, Ben.

-Morning.

You don't think she heard me

slagging off working with dead people, do you?

Put your relationship back a few spaces, eh?

-Ah! They've come!

-Yeah.

-Jay's doing a fantastic job out there.

A breath of fresh air.

We mustn't be put off what people might say.

Don't you agree?

-Yeah. Yeah, whatever you say.

-What's the matter?

It's these flyers.

You don't think they make us seem desperate for money?

You said we were.

Though for the life of me, I can't think why.

We've got funerals booked all week.

-We're not in trouble, are we?

-No, no. Of course not.

I'll get Jay to start sticking these through letterboxes.

You're right, he's a good lad.

This little piggy stayed at home.

And what about this little piggy? What about this one?

This one had roast beef and this one had none!

And this little piggy went wee-wee-wee all the way home!

Don't get him too excited.

Do you know? I never thought I'd want to be known as a granny.

But he makes it worthwhile.

Amy too.

Well, Amy's seven.

So if you wanted to be a granny, you could have tried years ago.

Yeah. I should have.

I've always been my own worst enemy.

I don't expect you to believe me,

but I really am here because of you and the children.

And you want your money back.

Knowing Roxy's out there, battered and bruised...

I'm not made of stone, despite what you think.

But you don't want me, do you?

You're making that perfectly obvious.

-Not that I blame you.

-I can't trust you.

How can I?

I mean, you were never there for me. And now I've got Matthew and Amy.

I don't want her getting to know you

and getting to like having you around, just for you to walk

out on her, just like you walked out on me and Roxy.

I'll just have to earn that trust, then, won't I?

Ta.

-You know how expensive it was to bury Stan.

-Yeah. Yeah.

So it's like a Christmas club, is it?

Yeah, you put in each month, as much or as little as you want.

A bit depressing, isn't it?

Well, what's more depressing is if a loved one passes

and they have to be buried on the cheap.

All right, I'll talk to Linda about it.

Well, I'm only offering it for a short time,

so get back to me as soon as possible.

But if you do decide to go ahead,

I recommend that you put down as much as you can afford initially.

-Get yourself off to a good start.

-What's this? After money?

Yeah. It's our new funeral club. You should look into it.

-You know, help cover the cost of your funeral.

-Not me.

I've got a nest egg tucked away.

Nice little investment. Very good interest rate.

Still, I'll spread the word, shall I?

-Yeah, that would be much appreciated.

-Anything to help.

Weird. Why are you being so obliging?

Just helping to support local business.

Don't you think he looked a bit stressed?

Next time he's in, I'll make a fuss of him.

Stick him an extra sausage or a few extra chips.

Lovely(!)

-I was trying to help. You need money.

-Yeah, legal money.

40 lavs just sitting there. No-one wants them, no-one will miss them.

I didn't have you down as a goody two-shoes.

-I'm not, but that's just too much of a risk.

-Let us worry about the risk.

How else are we going to come up with the rent money AND

pay for the wedding?

I mean, we're going to be careful, course we are.

Stace, this is just too good to pass up.

Well, how much do you reckon we'd get for them?

-Got to be a good couple of months' rent?

-Easy.

Fine. Do whatever you want. Just leave me out of it.

-Where does this woman live?

-Bethnal Green.

She's the only friend that Roxy's got round here from the Ibiza days.

I mean, it's a long shot, but she might have heard from her.

Are you sure you're going to be all right with Matthew?

-Did all right this morning, didn't I?

-Bye, sweetie.

Come on. Shut the door.

Shut the door. Good boy.

Good boy.

-Pam, you there?

-Back office.

I gave a fair few flyers out. Two seemed genuinely interested.

I thought I'd just check the accounts to see

if we could definitely afford Jay.

Who did you pay £1,000 to last night?

Mm?

£1,000, Les!

There's no paperwork in any of the books.

Tell me, Les!

I'm being blackmailed.

What?

I got an anonymous e-mail.

A nasty one.

I was just told to send money into an account.

I don't know whose it is.

Why?

Why are you being blackmailed?

No!

The first e-mail came one day and

I thought if I just ignored it...

And then they sent another.

-Why didn't you tell me?

-I didn't want to upset you.

The first e-mail had a photograph attached.

I thought I burnt it.

Along with everything else up at the allotment.

You... You dressed as...?

Someone must have found it.

I'm sorry, Birdie.

They demanded £1,000 up front.

And £250 a week from now on.

That's why I got the flyers made.

I thought they might bring in more money.

For people's funerals.

Not for you to pay a blackmailer with.

Oh, Les!

Have you still got the e-mail with the photo?

Are you sure you want to see it?

I tried to track down the e-mail address.

I rang the bank, but they wouldn't tell me whose account it is.

I just don't know who would do this to me.

To us!

I do.

We should get a fixture list off the school.

-Try and make as many matches as we can.

-Yeah.

Do parents dress up for sports matches? You'd better check, Ian.

I don't want to embarrass him by wearing the wrong thing.

Love, you could never embarrass him.

Ian, you've got to come.

What's up?

Mum, just tell us what it is.

Look, I tried to stop them, but they just set up camp outside.

-Whoa, whoa. You don't want to go in there, mate.

-Yeah, I do.

No, you really don't, Vincent.

-What's all this? Again?

-Nothing, we're just standing here.

-Yeah.

Yeah, blocking the way in.

We are?

Can't say I've noticed.

Ian, we're just watching this beautiful bustling market,

soon to be a thing of the past.

-You're in the way of my customers!

-Customers?

-I don't see any customers. Do you, Kush?

-No, no customers here.

-That's it. Come on, you.

-Oi! Get your hands off me!

-Take your hands off her.

-Ian, leave it.

-Oh, you are joking.

-Leave it.

-Come on, Ian. Let's go home.

-No way.

-Donna!

-Hello, is that Walford police station?

-Have you seen Claudette?

-No, why?

-Never mind why. I need to speak to her!

-I haven't seen her in ages.

-It's Ian Beale...

-Vincent, have you seen her?

-No-one has.

To be really honest, I don't really care if I see her again.

It's not Claudette.

-You don't know that it's not.

-She wouldn't do anything like this.

-Why should she?

-But she's the only one who knows.

Has she told you anything? About us?

-Claudette? Has she?

-I have no idea what you're talking about.

You wouldn't tell me even if she had, would you?

Ian, you're making yourself look stupid.

He's been doing that for years.

After all I've done for you over the years!

-Come on, he's brought on himself, Kathy!

-Oh, come on. Let's go.

We've got to find out who it is. We've got to stop them, Les.

We will! I promise.

Right, they should be on lunch now. I reckon we've got about 50 minutes.

To shift 40 loos? How heavy are they?

You've seen these muscles. Sorry, Martin.

Get a move on.

Never done anything like this before.

Don't go thinking we'll make a habit of it.

Wait, what if they leave the pub early and come back?

Oh, all right. Fine. I'll go to the Vic and be your lookout.

I've only got a few weeks left as a Slater.

I might as well act like one.

KNOCK AT DOOR

I'm coming!

LOUD BANGING AT DOOR

-What do you think you're doing?

-Is she here?

Is Roxy here?

No. Who are you?

I'm the one asking the questions.

It's someone out there, Les. Someone who knows us.

-You can't go around accusing people.

-What am I supposed to do?

Accept it like you have and empty the bank accounts?

Why don't you give them the deeds to the shop and have done with it?

-Here we are. Go on, tell them.

-Right, well.

There was this woman in the chip shop, right,

she was saying that her old man had just died.

-So I got her number, didn't I?

-Should have seen him, Les.

He was like a real pro. Offered her condolences on her loss,

while singing the virtues of Coker and Sons, didn't you, boy, eh?

-I did! I did!

-That's very good, Jay.

When you've had your lunch, there's a box of handles in the chapel of

-rest that need buffing.

-No, actually. Um...

I'm sorry, Jay, but we're going to have to let you go.

-What? You can't be serious!

-He's only just started!

We can't afford you. We're having... We're having to make cutbacks.

-Oh, come on, Pam.

-Carry on and you'll be next, Billy!

We're not a charity.

And we're not a soft touch.

Thanks.

-Yes, madam. What can I get you?

-I'll just have a lemonade, please.

-Where's Martin? Slipping out of something, er, comfortable?

-Oh, no.

He didn't take that job. Ian took him back on the stall.

Maybe you could get the modelling contact off him.

That way we could afford my en-suite.

You're off your nut, you.

Do you know how much it is for a cupboard,

and it is a cupboard, with a khazi in it?

You might as well just, like, flush thousands down the drain,

-you know what I mean? Lemonade?

-Yeah, please.

-There we go.

-That's yours, isn't it?

That looks good.

Go, go, go, go.

He won't leave until he's spoken to you. He knows you're Roxy's sister.

-What do you want?

-To see Roxy.

-Yeah. Well, I don't know where she is.

-I told him that!

I wish I did, to protect her from you.

Does it make you feel good, does it? Beating up a woman?

-Do you want to try your luck with me?

-What are you talking about?

-Ronnie! Be careful!

-Listen to me,

you won't be the first of her boyfriends that I've had to see off.

Boyfriends?!

Do you think I'd be interested in a skank like Roxy?

Please! I'm a man of taste.

You're not her boyfriend?

Who are you?

She's got something that doesn't belong to her

and if she doesn't hand it over, her daughter...

Amy, is it?

Well, she won't need to buy flowers for any more Mother's Days.

Now, if you do see her, you be sure to pass that message on.

Who do you think you are, coming in here and making threats?

How dare you call my daughter a skank!

She's worth ten of you!

-MOBILE RINGS

-Hello.

What?!

No, hang on. I'm coming.

-Linford.

-Don't look at me. I'm waiting for my burger.

-Oi! You just had one.

-Yeah, and I'm having another one.

-I'm a growing lad.

-You know what? I'll sort it out.

Don't want your stomach suffering, do we?

LAUGHTER

-I'm so sorry. I...

-What is this?

-I had a spasm.

-A spasm?

-Yeah.

-I'm really sorry. Look, I'll just get it off.

-Stop! Stop it!

I've got to go.

LAUGHTER

Martin, pick up!

I am not going to be treated like that!

Let them get it out of their systems.

They'll get bored standing outside the caf.

Mum, it's not just that, it's the total lack of respect,

after everything I have done for this community. It's my restaurant,

-I can sell it to who I want.

-Ian, it's all getting out of hand.

Maybe you should take Bobby out of St Bart's.

I can't, love.

You know we can't.

You know how much that place has changed him.

If he comes back to Walford High, to living here in this house,

all his problems will come back, I just know they will.

And then what?

Anything could happen.

Do you really think I would be selling a business I loved

if I didn't have a choice?

Mum, where are you off to?

Talk to Buster. Try and sort all this out.

Martin?

You've managed to do it!

-I thought when Jack left the pub early...

-That we were flushed?

No, it's just Andy giving himself an alibi with Jack. I told you, look.

Nothing to worry about.

Well, now what we've got to do is find someone who wants 40 toilets.

Sorry. You haven't been waiting long, have you?

-Bus was late.

-Have you been up to something with Les again?

What?

Pam was on the warpath earlier, looking for you.

Nothing to do with me.

Donna, I've changed.

I can't tell you what it's meant to me,

just seeing you these past few days.

It doesn't mean you're forgiven.

Not yet, Mum.

So...

Pam on the warpath?

Yeah. Honestly, I've never seen her like that.

-Something's really got under her skin.

-Oh.

I was thinking about what you said to Billy. You're right.

We're not soft touches.

Despite what people might think.

So?

How does that help us?

Well, now you know,

maybe we can make a united front.

Refuse to pay.

And have everyone find out?

And that would be the end of the world, would it?

You're still ashamed.

When you set fire to the clothes, the wig,

I dared to think that she was dead.

That we could put her behind us.

But we'll never be able to do that, will we?

-Christine will haunt us forever.

-Only if we let her.

I can't take it, Les! I can't!

If it comes out, if our friends, our family...

Look what's happened to Jay.

People are too quick to judge.

It'll destroy us.

It'll destroy us.