23/06/2016 EastEnders

Lily?

Oh, got a scavenger, have we?

Poor Andy! Come on, get it off.

Sorry, mate. First, you're made homeless, then a daylight raid.

-Say sorry to Andy.

-Sorry, Andy.

Yeah, you shouldn't go through people's things, darling.

She's only messing. Get ready for school.

PHONE RINGS Who's that?

-Jack.

-Pick up, then!

What, so he can have a go at me about crashing at the site?

Easier to find a house when you're unemployed, right?

I'm sure Roxy didn't want you on the streets.

And maybe Martin will let you stay...

A few more weeks here?

Yeah, didn't think so.

Explain to Jack, you never know.

Today's the day.

Today's the day(!)

What's that, in case you forget, then?

Kush bought it for me.

-Aww!

-It's the thought.

Yeah, I've got the day off.

I've got my boys.

I've got my cat.

I've got....

What's wrong?

Nothing.

What's wrong?

It's just...

Umar always said for my 50th, he'd rent this big country house,

we'd invite all our friends, make a weekend of it.

No expense spared.

And...?

Well...

I've had a text from Darius...

..this off a card from Kush and a "happy whatever" from Shaki.

I don't mean to sound...spoilt.

Nah.

I'm 50.

50! I mean, that's halfway to 100.

If I make it. Fingers crossed!

-Ron.

-What?

-Come here a minute.

Jack, I need to explain...

I'm surprised you've got the nerve!

Sorry about the other day. I...

What, you didn't have anywhere to go?

Yeah, kind of.

So, you break in here? D'you know what that's called?

It's called taking advantage and you...

Yeah, all right, I get it! If you want me gone, I'll go!

Oi! Less of the attitude,

or you won't stay at ours if you carry on like that.

Sorry?

I know things are a bit complicated with Roxy

and you must have been desperate

so, listen, we've got a spare room, if you need one.

Are you serious?

-Thank you, I...

-Listen, don't be too grateful,

she just probably wants to cop another eyeful.

I know things with your dad... You know,

I thought you could do with a break.

But you need to sort something proper out soon.

Yeah, of course. Thank you. I don't know how to repay you.

Lunch. At The Vic. Today. On me.

Sounds good. Got to be early, though,

we've got people coming to view here later.

-No, I don't think I'm going to able to...

-Ron!

Now, am I working here on my own or what?

So, have you decided whether you're in or out?

-You what?

-The EU, Billy. We're supposed to be voting today.

-Yeah, I know.

-But it is important!

Ooh, Jay, is this shirt gonna fit?

It's one of Billy's old ones, so it might do.

Oi, what's that supposed to mean?

It's only working in a garage, innit? I don't need to dress smart.

Oi, it don't do any harm to make a good impression.

And that shirt's going to do that, is it?

This shirt's all right!

If you're that picky, I'll nab you one off a stiff.

Now, I'm sorry, I really don't think

we should be speaking about them like that.

Yeah.

What's the matter with you?

Well, you know, I just want to get this job, don't I?

You'll get it, honest.

Yeah, course.

Oi! What are you doing?

You can't let your mum see.

Mum see what?

What you got planned. For today.

Her birthday.

Oh, I see, I thought as much.

-Right, we're going to Beales.

-Beales?

Yeah, a little party. She will be having one.

No, no, she doesn't want any fuss!

No fuss? Course she's fussed.

Since when does your mum not want any fuss, eh?

Yeah, exactly. Right, so...

And it will be a surprise.

-It will be a surprise.

-OK.

Erm, Kyle said he's on his way.

He better be. Who organises a 50th on the very day?

Well, I'm sorry I can't help out, but Kathy said she will.

At least the restaurant's busy.

Right, we have got some drinks for this thing, ain't we?

Yeah, Denise wants champagne.

What's that look about?

Oh, nothing, Ian, you're being paranoid.

With this family, are you surprised?

Oh! You are coming this afternoon, aren't you?

To, erm...?

Carmel's birthday.

I could do with a couple of extra hands, you know, help me set up.

Yeah, sure.

Yeah? Oh, bless you.

Don't forget to vote on the referendum, it's very important.

-OK. Oh, Son?

-Yeah?

-Could you help later?

Set up for Carmel's party, you and Tina?

-Carmel's...?

-Yeah, it's her 50th.

I know it's last minute,

but I managed to get us an area at Beales this afternoon.

We gotta do something, ain't we?

Well, I suppose if I can get someone to keep an eye on Tina's mum,

we'll be there or one of us will.

-Great!

-All right.

Son?

Please! I've got enough on my plate.

We've got a social worker coming round in a minute to assess Sylvie.

I was just asking how you are. Did you talk to Tina?

Sonia!

Look, I was being crazy last week. I was overreacting.

I thought you were going to end it.

I thought she wasn't there for you, you needed support...

It's too complicated, all right? I don't want to upset Rebecca.

Maybe we can talk later, at this party,

but I don't want to do this now.

Martin? You on for Carmel's party later, aren't you?

Yeah.

-Hey!

-Hey.

Up the stairs, first room on the right.

Right, thanks for this.

He had nowhere else to go. I found him in the shower.

Oh, there's worse things!

THEY LAUGH

Who was that?

Peggy's body's been released.

There was something about a toxicology report.

I don't really understand,

but they said we could go ahead with the funeral.

-She left her...wishes, didn't she?

-Yeah.

Yeah, I suppose we really need to sort it out.

-Yeah, yeah. Well, I'll call the Cokers.

-OK.

Big room! Thank you so much.

Oh, you don't have to keep thanking me.

Well, are you going to come to lunch?

Might take your mind off things.

What things?

Whatever it is that made you look like that.

All right?

Babe want these in the kitchen?

Nah, she wants them in her bedroom.

Can you get them off the bar?

Denise just told me

that they're having a surprise birthday for Carmel. I said we'd go.

-Yeah, right!

-Oh, come on, Shirl!

-You got any champagne?

-Glass or bottle?

No, how much have you got?

We've got a surprise thing at Beales.

I was thinking if you could do us a deal now at cost...

I'm not selling you champagne so you can serve it at another venue!

-Shirley!

-Why don't you go and take the fish to Babe?

Look, if you don't want to go, that's fair enough.

But don't ruin it for everyone else, all right?

I'm going whether you like it or not.

I don't want to stress Ian out, so...

Ian's already stressed out.

Yeah, well, his wife is in hospital.

And his son is in prison.

Yeah, so's yours.

Yeah, my Lauren, she used to date your kid

back in the day, didn't she?

Yeah. Lucky escape, by all accounts.

Where you going?

To see if I've got any out back.

Jay, has that Dessie guy been for your interview yet?

Yeah, I'm a bit early.

How come you're meeting in here?

Surely somewhere else would've been...

Well, I didn't choose it, did I? It's the last place I want to be.

Billy reckons you're nervous. Is that what the attitude is?

Well, he's bound to ask about my record, ain't he?

It's not like you're going to be working with kids, is it?

Oh, like I'd be a danger if I was?!

Everything all right?

Yeah, yeah. Jay's got an interview with a garage.

-Meeting the guy in here.

-Well, you look the part.

Really?

Yeah, of the accountant.

Come on, you're a bit overdressed, ain't you, for a mechanic's job?

Thanks, Jack, cheers(!)

Mr Dunn?

All right, son? Call me Dessie.

Nice to meet you.

I like the tie. Good start!

-Shall we get a drink, then?

-Yeah.

PHONE RINGS

Jack Branning.

What, you're at the house already?

Right, I'm coming right now.

-See you later.

-See ya.

So, you sure she's going to be all right with this lot, then?

You said photos. These are photos!

Oi! Are you going to use them or not?

Cos if you do you'll have to print them off yourself,

cos we ain't got one at home.

Oh, no, that one back there is work only.

They check the ink levels, they're that tight.

What's this?

She wants to hang photos of Mum up at this party.

Oh, go up the High Street, Kush!

I'm already splitting the booze bill in half with you.

You're getting as tight as that Ian and that ain't attractive in a man.

Ooh!

Now, listen, Tam left all that printer...photo...stuff behind.

I can sort this out. I'll get it back to you.

Thank you very much, Masood.

Yeah, thank you.

Oh, you really are a life saver, you know.

And if you don't mind, could you round up some of this lot,

-get them to come and help decorate?

-Yeah, sure.

You've been really helpful lately.

We make a good team, you and me.

THEY CHUCKLE

Right, well, yeah. See you later.

Yeah, see you later.

Thank you. For the room.

For everything.

I'm sorry again about Jack, he just got held up.

Cheaper bill, suits me.

I'll pay for myself!

No, it's on me. It's a thank you.

-I insist.

-So do I!

Come on, you've got no money!

Please! It's fine.

OK.

Listen, I'll have to go soon,

I've got this family funeral thing...

Hmm, Peggy.

Sorry?

Peggy? Everyone's been talking about her.

Oh, yeah, I suppose they must have been.

Be nice to have closure.

Hmm.

Everyone needs closure.

I did my level 2 maintenance and repair years ago

and I was thinking about doing my level 3 soon.

Sounds like you had it sweet.

So, why'd you leave, then?

I just wanted to move on, you know.

It's all right, you don't have to tell me.

No, I'd just been there a long while.

Nothing funny, was it?

Not got the boot or anything?

Oh, nah, nah, course not.

All right, no worries, then.

None of my business.

No criminal record or nothing?

Nah, nah, nah, nah.

He asked me if he could come in here and I said yes.

When are you going to trust me? He's a good kid.

Yeah, oh, I heard them. It's a job interview.

-He's allowed to work.

-Yeah. All I'm saying to you is

if that was my Nancy when she was a kid,

he'd still be swinging outside them doors

as a warning to the rest of them.

I'm meant to be having the day off today!

Yeah, just give me an hour, Mum, all right?

I gotta pop down the suppliers.

(Apparently.)

Are you OK?

I need to pee.

Oh, what do you need?

HE LAUGHS

Go on, birthday girl, I'll cover for you.

Oh, thank you!

Do you think that stall really suits you?

Yeah, yeah. Oh, just for you, look! Latest fashion.

All over Paris they're wearing it.

Milan...Watford...

What's the matter? Woman's got no taste, has she?

Yep, that's it, lovely.

Well, it's good to meet you, Jay.

Yeah, thank you. I hope to hear from you.

Well, it all looks fine to me from this end.

I'll give your Phil a call first, but otherwise it's all good.

Phil? Yeah, he's not my reference.

I got my colleague to do it, Ben Mitchell.

Phil is the gaffer - everybody this side of London knows that.

But don't trouble yourself. I won't pry into how you parted ways.

Yeah, but...the thing is...

I'll give you a call soon. And relax.

You did well, son.

Seriously? Haven't we got enough going on?

Shouldn't you be at school?

Teacher training! I told you this!

I swear you told her that, like, last week.

Is your mum all right?

Well, she's stressed about Tina's mum moving in,

but she has to pretend not to be

so she's taking it out on me

because...who else?

Right, Shaki, can you go...

Shaki! Go and get Mum!

Ian, it's a cake 999.

-What?

-Well it's a 5, actually, but...

Oh, right, come on. You got that champagne sorted?

Yes! Under control!

-Right! All done.

-Yeah.

Right! All hands on deck.

Want any help, Kath?

Yes, here you go.

Mum!

Oh...

Happy birthday, me.

You're home early.

Oh, yeah...it was just PE.

Shaki!

What...?

Join me, then. Half a glass.

With some orange juice.

No, Mum, we've got dinner.

Kush booked us a birthday, I dunno, treat.

-Where?

-Beales.

Oh! Thank you. Brilliant.

Cool, so just meet us over there at like, four o'clock, yeah?

Four o'clock?

OAP special.

What you doing?

Oh, Andy paid for lunch.

I thought I better pay my half,

seeing as he was homeless five minutes ago.

Sorry. I didn't mean...

-It's better that he's here, for everyone.

-Yeah.

Right, shall we, er, make a start, ladies?

Well, there's only one way to get through this.

Hey, you want egg and chips, you go get egg and chips!

Bruv, come here.

How did it go?

Forget it.

How come?

He wants to talk to Phil.

I thought you put me down.

Well, he knows him, don't he? He's the boss.

Going to be the same story all over the place.

This is going to follow me around forever.

Maybe if you explain....

Explain? If it was other way round, I wouldn't hire me.

Well, maybe Dad won't mention Linzi.

I'll leave you to it, all right?

-Don't give up!

-It's too late for that.

What about if Phil called this guy first?

What?

What if "Phil" called this guy?

-How much?!

-Trust me,

you won't find better anywhere else in London.

-We could find cheaper.

-Sharon!

Did Peggy know it cost this much?

Of course she did! Peggy Mitchell getting buried?

MIMICS PEGGY: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah! The whole of London ought to know.

And opposite Pat Butcher? Poor Pat, doomed to be opposite Peggy forever.

I didn't know you could request a plot.

Yeah, well, a requested burial plot requires extra work.

Ms Mitchell had her arrangements in place,

she had covered some costs.

However, if we don't want to follow Ms Mitchell's...

Who said that, Les?

Just grabbing my...

Oh! Hi.

Oh, he's gorgeous, Roxy. Don't know how you can resist him.

He's half my age!

He's a nice guy, Rox.

Peggy'd approve.

She'd have said, "Nothing like a young man

"to get you back in the saddle."

-Oh, Sharon, that sounds filthy!

-THEY LAUGH

Are we actually getting advice from Peggy Mitchell on men?

I mean, there is no hope for any of us.

It's true.

She's coming! Come on, she's coming!

Oh, my knees!

-Do you think she knows anything?

-I hope not.

-She's really lucky to have you.

-Aww!

DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES

Er... Surprise!

THEY CHEER

SHE SQUEALS

SHE LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY

Er, yeah, with the flowers...

MIMICS PEGGY: Oh, hundreds, darling. Spare no expense, we're Mitchells.

-MIMICS PEGGY:

-It'll be good for the community. We'll all grieve together.

-Oh, I miss her so much.

-So do I.

-Oh, do her laugh.

-No!

-Please do it.

SHE MIMICS PEGGY'S LAUGH

Have you been through my stuff?

Sorry?

Look, even in prison, they warn you before you get searched.

I was just trying to pay back half of the money for lunch.

I didn't want it to get awkward.

What's wrong with a thank you?

I literally just put a tenner in your bag...

Ronnie, what's the matter with you?

Right, look, try and take it as a compliment.

The minute she starts interfering, it means she likes you.

It's a big fault, Ron.

You've got to be firm with her, you know...

-MIMICS PEGGY:

-..before it gets out of 'and!

-Roxy!

Look, sorry, I know you're organising a funeral, it's just...

Andy, you do not need to explain yourself.

I just need my own space.

All that overcrowding over at Martin's, it did my head in,

I was looking forward...

It won't happen again, will it, Ronnie? Ronnie?

Oi! Could you not scare him off?

Just cos I don't want to live with him,

he doesn't have to think we're a bunch of psychos.

-It's my house.

-It's his things!

-He's probably embarrassed.

He's young. The things I've found in Ben's room.

Magazines. All sorts.

I'm sure you have with your Paul, ain't you, Les?

Oh, yeah...

-They're quite good, actually.

-THEY LAUGH

Do you know what...

You are the best friend.

-You.

-Yes!

-You are MY best friend.

-Denise.

-Yes?

-You are definitely...

-THE BEST?

-Yes!

-Is that right?

SHE LAUGHS

-Oh, I should have warned you, shouldn't I?

-No!

Yes, yes, I should have warned you.

-You all right?

-Maybe.

-You know what? You look great.

-Thank you.

-And they're nice boots.

-Woo!

-Are they the same ones there?

-Yeah.

Anyone in particular that you've resurrected them for, then?

-Resurrected?

-Mmm.

What? No, no.

I'm not dead yet, am I?

No, of course you're not.

Here you go. OJ?

Oh, no, I can't.

Oh, Ramadan, sorry. Yeah, I wasn't thinking, sorry.

Might try and slip Mum some, you know, Buck's Fizz in at least.

Ah, it's her birthday.

-I need to just...

-You do, but you need to...

-I'm fine..

-..slow down.

No, I'm absolutely fi...

That's fine?

CARMEL LAUGHS

He's been interviewing all day.

He don't seem that keen on anyone since you.

Jay, go see him again, show him you're keen.

Yeah. Thanks, Shirl.

PHONE RINGS

Hello?

-MIMICS PHIL MITCHELL:

-All right? It's, er, it's Phil.

Yeah, I heard you saw my Jay Brown about a job.

I thought I'd give you a bell first.

Don't sound like me?

Under the weather, ain't I?

Headache, yeah.

Sorry, cold.

Yeah... No, head cold.

Phil?

Is this some kind of wind-up?

Are you having a laugh with your mates?

No, just hang it up.

Look, I'm sorry.

I told my friend I was worried you was going to call Phil

and I guess he thought...

How come you don't want me to talk to Phil?

Because...

Because we ended badly.

I worked that out.

I need a better explanation.

Well, I got in trouble with the police.

Oh, well, right. I'm surprised that bothered Phil.

There was this girl.

And she never told me how old she was,

you know, it was all a mistake, I never touched her...

What you telling me?

That I'm on the register. Right, but like I said,

it was a mistake, you know. I didn't do anything.

-All right.

-Look, I'm sorry to mess you around.

I should have just been straight up.

But I hope this don't change anything, Dessie... Mr Dunn.

Yeah.

I was trying to help him out! He's only been in the house five minutes, I've already fallen out with him.

-You haven't fallen out, you just...

-DOOR OPENS

Hi.

Do you want to join us for some dinner?

-Yeah, Roxy's coming.

-Oh, since when?

Since we were arranging Peggy's funeral together.

Thanks, but I should probably just...

Nah, look, it will give you two time, you know, to make peace.

Jack!

JACK CHUCKLES

Look, yeah, I wanted to say sorry about that.

I've always been really bad about my own space.

I used to share a bedroom with my sister, it was a nightmare.

I bet you can relate to that.

She always use to mess about with my stuff, so...

Look, don't tell my sister, all right, but she might be right.

I might have...boundary issues.

Anyway, do you want some washing done?

You don't have to do my washing!

It's fine. I'm going to the launderette anyway

so if you bring it down now, I promise I won't look.

Yeah, all right, then, I'll go and get it.

See? I told you he was a nice guy.

"You're very wise, Jack. You're very clever."

Yes, fine! You're very wise, you're very clever!

Get off, not near the food!

Well, about half an hour.

No, I know, Tina, but it's your mum...

No, I understand.

Yeah, OK. I'm coming now, OK?

Is that Tina?

Yes. It was. You're like a broken record.

I wish I'd never told you about her now.

What? That you're unhappy?

No, I'm not unhappy. I'm... It's hard, you know.

You seen Denise and Masood anywhere?

Sorry?

Well, they've disappeared, I swear.

SHE SIGHS

Oh, whoa, hey, hey, are you all right?

Yeah! Can I pinch a chip?

Yeah. Ooh, looks like you are, yeah.

I've always liked you, Masood.

Yeah?

Yeah. You're a sweet man. At heart, you know.

Anyone can see that.

Look. So...

Hey!

Look, if you've got feelings for someone,

I just think that you should really go for it.

Are you sure it's not that talking?

Oh, no, no, course not. It's not...

It's good for you, Mas. It's never too late for love.

Well, what with friendship and support...

Yeah, OK, well, that's slightly more practical,

but, still, it's true.

Well, we're past games now, aren't we, anyway, at our age?

-Yes.

-With that much experience.

Yes, OK, save the romance for later, Masood.

Denise, I see...

Denise!

Oh...

Oh.

Oi, elbows! Thank you.

Really, Jack?

Right, everyone, let's have a toast.

To Andy moving in.

PHONE RINGS

Sorry. Hold on a sec.

-Right, let's toast anyway, Andy moving in.

-Andy moving in.

Yeah, look, can this wait? We've just sat down to eat.

I'm sorry, Ronnie, to interrupt, but I'm in the launderette

and there's something I need you to see.