24/11/2016 EastEnders

Oh!

Lee, Lee! Quick, you've got to come and see this!

Quick - Carmel is having a proper meltdown! Ha!

-MUFFLED:

-Huh! Hilarious!

Oh, Lee, you're dribbling.

Who put an electric toothbrush on the list anyway?

Oh Lee, you ain't forgotten that we're having drinks

with Lauren and Steven tonight, have you?

Lee?

What? I'm just saying, you haven't forgotten, have you...?

Yeah, I heard you.

-OK, well?

-Do we have to?

Yes, we have to. They're expecting us. And it's arranged.

Can't you unarrange it?

-Yeah, I guess.

-Right, that's sorted, then.

You're not going NOW? You're going to be too early.

-There's a bit of a rush on. They want me in early.

-But you haven't had breakfast.

That's all right, I'm not hungry. Right, see you later.

Lee?

Yeah?

We're all right, aren't we?

Course.

Love you.

Kush! Kush! They're still doing it!

Putting THEIR rubbish in MY bin!

Who are?

That's the whole point. I don't know!

YOU'RE supposed to be on bin watch!

So I've got to set up an all-night vigilante patrol now, have I?

If it was your bin, you'd be cross.

Some son you are!

-Hey, babe.

-Hello.

Hello, you. I didn't think mother and baby group started till nine.

Oh, no, I've got shopping to do first.

Listen, will you do me a favour?

When you get a minute, will you just go to the house and have a word with Kyle?

Why?

Cos he's still freaking out about this job in France.

I thought he'd decided to stay.

Yeah, but that's just as a favour for us.

Cos of the rent money.

-But that's good thing, though, innit?

-Don't you feel guilty?

No. Not really.

Oh, will you just go and reassure him that we'll be fine?

But we won't.

Well, we'll find another tenant.

Please? He's my brother.

Just do it for me?

Go on, then.

Thank you, you gorgeous man!

The only trouble is, it's Kathy's first day in the caff today.

-So, I'm just going to have to wait till Luke turns up.

-Oh, that's fine. Whenever. Love you.

-Love you too.

-Bye-bye to Daddy.

Bye, mate. See you, babe.

I mean, what was he thinking?

Broad daylight, there's loads of witnesses.

Goodness knows what this has done to them.

And what is a 14-year-old doing with a knife in the first place?

Tina, cup of tea, please.

Hang on a minute. I mean, what about the parents? They're the ones that should be up in court.

Yeah, but what about THEIR parents?

Tina!

-Just saying.

-Tina...

-All right. Cup of tea? See?

All right, Mum?

-Ian, you didn't bring my phone, did you?

-Should I have?

I left it in the living room, on the side. Never mind, I'll pop back later.

-Right, well - I just came here to wish you good luck. That was all.

-Check up on me, more like.

See, this is what happens when I'm nice to people!

-Oh, Ian.

-What?

I'm sorry.

Just make sure you double the profits by this time next week, yeah?

Save this till your break, all right?

And remember to push the paninis.

Yes, Lee?

Oh, what have you got to-go? What's that?

This one? Egg and cress?

Yeah, can I have that and a chicken salad, please.

Whitney not feeding you, then?

Oh, just running a bit late, that's all.

-There you go.

-Oh, thanks, Lauren. Cheers.

-Hiya.

-Oh!

-Seeing you tonight, aren't we?

Are we? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, no, sorry.

The trouble is, well, I've got a work do.

So... But another time, though, yeah?

OK, I got your text.

What's so important that you're calling me out at this time?

It's Dad.

Would YOU want to do it?

No-one would, but it's your job, innit?

That you're lucky to have.

I was just saying to Dennis - sometimes you've got to do the

difficult thing.

Denny said you're making him go to school.

I'm not making him, I just think he should.

But he's upset.

Jay, tell Sharon what you're doing today.

Eddie Kendall's body's coming in first thing.

Dennis is just going to school.

They've had counselling and everything, you know,

-he'll be fine once he get there.

-Well, aren't you worried?

You don't deal with your worries by giving in to them.

I'd take him, but Billy wants me in early.

I'll do it if you like.

Have a word with him on the way in, will ya?

Thanks, Ben.

Coming, Jay?

Yeah.

Good luck.

I'll see you this afternoon, darling!

Don't call me darling! >

Right, what can I get you for breakfast?

I just... I can't face it.

Oh, come on, Phil - you've got to eat.

It's my choice, Sharon.

My body, my decision. We agreed.

He's refusing to have the transplant?! What did Sharon say?

Not much. It's like she's given up.

I don't know what to do.

Don't worry - I'm on the case.

What you planning?

Phil's always going on about family.

Let's see how he likes it, yeah? Leave it with me.

Kath, you got a minute?

Yeah.

Louise was just telling me that Phil's refusing to have the transplant.

This must be what Ben didn't want to tell me.

-We've got to talk him out of it.

-Yeah, well, good luck with that!

What are you telling me? That you're all right with this? It's Ben's dad!

Yes. Who Phil's deliberately cut out of his will.

You can't let him die because of that!

It's up to him, Shirl, all right? I'm keeping well out of it.

Oh, Jay, just in time.

Colin's back from the mortuary - he's going to need a hand.

Jay, it's got to be done, mate.

PHONE RINGS

Shirl, it's not really a good time.

'This will only take a second.'

Phil's refusing to have the transplant.

Yeah, well, that's up to him, innit?

That's what Kathy said. What are you saying? You're all right with this?

No, course I'm not all right about it...

Well, good, cos we need to talk to him. I'll meet you round there at lunchtime.

Don't you think I've tried already?

'You know what Phil's like, once he's made his mind up, that's it.'

I'm sorry Shirl, I've got to go, OK?

Shirley being Shirley.

Come on, Jay - Colin will be waiting for you.

Look, kids is always going to be hard.

OK. OK, you stay here.

I'll deal with it.

Sorry.

No. It's all right.

Ronnie, can you give me a ring when you get this message, please?

You know what, on second thoughts - I need to talk to you face-to-face.

I'm going to come round.

Oh, hello. Who's looking after Sylvie?

Since when has that bothered you?

-Morning!

-What you doing in here?

-That's a friendly welcome(!)

-Who've you fallen out with?

I just fancied having me breakfast over here for a change!

Is there a law against it?

Try a panini - they're new.

For breakfast?! I don't think so.

Just give Babe what she wants, will you, Tina?

Full English.

I've not even started the job yet and I'm getting e-mails already.

Exciting!

Come on, what were you saying about Lee?

Oh, don't, I feel bad even mentioning it now.

It's not like I'm going to run round repeating it.

All right, without going into too much detail,

Whitney and Lee are having some problems in the bedroom department.

So seeing Lee in the cafe earlier and him ducking out

on me and Steven, I don't know. I mean, what shall I do?

Nothing. They're just finding their feet. They'll sort it out.

Yeah.

TEXT MESSAGE ALERT

LAUREN CHUCKLES

What?

Whitney. Wants to meet up for a coffee.

I wanted some advice. Yeah, well, that'll teach me.

Go on, Mum, why don't you say the real reason you want me to go?

That I'll be out of the country and that you can tell your mates

at the Blackpool Landladies' Supper Club that Sarah fell under a bus and

died. ..I'm not losing my temper! This is a stupid conversation.

Why did I do that? I'm mad.

You phoned your mum?!

Yeah, well, according to her, I'm a "coward". Maybe I am. So what?

After everything that you've been through?

She thinks I should go. Basically to get rid of me.

What do YOU think?

It's up to you, mate.

I can't even speak French!

So? The whole world speaks English these days.

Not the French! They hate us and they don't learn it on purpose!

They hate our food. And I'm going to be a sous chef?!

Look, if it's us missing out on the rent that you're worried about...

Why are you here, anyway?

Um...

Stace said you were upset.

What does SHE think? Same as the dragon, I bet.

Doesn't think I'm up to it.

Look, whatever you decide, mate, she'll be fine.

I won't, though. I'll hate myself. Question is,

will I hate myself more if I go or if I stay?

That's it. I'm going.

Happy now, Mum?

That's a good call.

Sorry, Martin, but can you leave me alone so I can panic in private?

Course. See you later.

Kathy's let me down. So has Billy.

Roxy's not up to it. You're my last hope.

Look, I asked him to give me away at my wedding.

And he refused. So what does that tell you?

What, and you're not worried about him?

Look, you're not married to him! Sharon is.

And she's OK with it, so what can we do?

Well, Louise is very much NOT OK with it.

What are you going to say to her

when she blames us for standing by and letting her old man die?

What time do you want me there?

About 12-ish.

Shouldn't we discuss what we're going to say first?

Well, I can't now. I've got Johnny looking after my mother

and I said I'd only be ten minutes.

That was a half-hour ago.

We'll talk about it on the way there, yeah?

Yeah. And when it doesn't work?

You know, I even vamped up for him last night an' all.

He said he weren't in the mood,

he turned over and went straight to sleep.

And this morning, he went straight to work early without even having any breakfast.

What?

No, it's just I seen him in here earlier,

he was grabbing some sandwiches.

And I did ask him about tonight and he said he had a works do.

Well, that's the first I've heard of it.

Do you know, Lauren, I think he's met someone else.

Come on, he's just married you!

Well, then, what am I doing wrong?

You're not doing nothing wrong. You're just settling in, aren't you?

These things take time...

I'm going to surprise him after work.

Check up on him, you mean!

No! Just a nice thing to do, innit?

Whitney - he's not going to see it like that, is he?

You know, you just need to sit him down and talk about it.

Get everything out on the table, whatever it is.

Oh, Kathy, Kathy, Kathy, you haven't heard anything, have you?

About what?

The audition.

No. Not yet.

Oh. I thought you might have. Never mind.

Patrick, are you all right?

Well, um...

Come on, sit down.

There she goes again! Unbelievable!

You see, Denise hates me gambling so I have to ration myself these days,

otherwise I will end up in the doghouse.

So you see, this...this pantomime,

it would give me a chance to focus on something...

-..and if I don't get it, man....

-Patrick, you were brilliant.

She'd be crazy not to give you the part.

I'm spending my day just waiting for the phone to ring.

Why don't you do something else? What about your allotment?

Don't say that word at all.

No, you used to like it.

The Wilderness of Neglect - that's what Claudette called it.

I thought Martin was supposed to be helping you out with it?

He's got a lot to worry about these days, man.

I don't blame him.

Well, what's wrong with you making a start on it, then, eh?

Fear, Kathy! Fear.

-Am I still up to it?

-Well, you won't know unless you try, will you?

Let me get you a tea.

Enjoy your breakfast, Babe?

I've had better.

What is with the notebook?

Always were a nosey one, weren't you?

Excuse me, love.

Sorry. You all right?

Martin says you've decided to take that job in France.

And now he's got you to talk me out of it, yeah?

No. I'm all in favour.

-You WANT me to go?

-I didn't say that.

Yes, you did. Just now.

No, I'm all in favour of you doing what YOU want to do.

But that's the problem! I don't KNOW what I want to do.

-Yeah, but if you've decided to go...

-I have.

Then, what's the problem? I mean, I would have given my eye teeth

for an opportunity like that at your age.

When do they want you to start?

-Monday.

-Monday? What happened to a month's notice?

-Stop doing this!

-Doing what?

-Confusing me!

I'm not, all right? Look, just go. With my blessing, and...

Look, go before you need a work permit, yeah?

And you might as well take this with you.

-You're kidding!

-No. I was going to stick it up on the wall,

but if you're going, you might as well take it as a souvenir.

What have I done now?

She won't admit it, but she's bonkers about him.

Who?

-Jorgen.

-Jorgen?

Yeah, yeah. Denise's tutor.

She's going out with him, then?

Nah. Too scared. But she does yearn for him.

Like a 15-year-old schoolgirl who's got a crush.

A 15-year-old schoolgirl who's seven months pregnant?

Exactly. It's embarrassing.

If she had a rough book, she'd be scribbling his name all over it.

-What's the matter? Anyone would think that you're not happy for her.

-CAR HORN

Oh, that's Vincent. Time for my driving lesson.

Alert all cars! Kim Fox-Hubbard is about to be behind the wheel!

All right, this is an exercise, yeah? Do not approach her!

She is highly dangerous! Take all necessary precautions!

-Yeah?

-Nice one!

So he's going, then?

That's what you wanted, weren't it?

I'm going to miss him so much.

I know, babe, but you can't have it both ways, can you?

I know, I know. I'm just being selfish.

We need to start thinking about getting another tenant in,

like, double quick.

What if we don't get on?

-Stacey!

-What?

-Do us a favour. Go down the restaurant, have a word with your brother, will you?

-Why?

-He's decided he doesn't want to take this job.

What? Well, why not?

Apparently I'm the best boss in the world.

There's a first for everything.

-Watch Arthur for me.

-Yeah, course.

-Oh, hang on.

-Sorry.

-Coming through.

-Mum? Mum...whoa!

Right, if the mountain won't come to Mohammed...

What on earth's going on here? What am I supposed to do with this?

You're going to do what you should've done weeks ago

and make your old mum a very happy lady.

DRILL WHIRS

THEY LAUGH

-I've just spoken to Ian.

-Thought you'd be pleased.

-Are you?

I don't know.

Kyle, what is the problem?

I phoned Mum this morning.

-You did what?

-I know.

-And what did she say?

-Wants me to go.

-I'm less of an embarrassment if I'm out the country.

-Oh, come on.

See what Ian's had done?

Aw!

How could I just leave this behind when I've just got myself settled?

Well, just think of it as a challenge.

I HATE challenges!

Well, what was transitioning, if it weren't a challenge?

Why does everyone want to decide my life for me?

Cos maybe you can't decide it for yourself? Look at me.

You are my brother and I love you

but I think this job is going to be the making of you.

But you've been so good to me.

It's not like we're never going to see each other again.

We've got the internet. And maybe we could come and visit.

That'd be good, wouldn't it?

Service!

I'm not helping, am I?

Just remember, it ain't my choice. It ain't your mother's choice -

it's yours.

See you later.

Stacey?

I love you, too.

SHE LAUGHS

Vandalising council property? You're in trouble.

It's all privatised these days, so who gives a monkey's?

Right, that should sort out those little beggars.

Hah! Wasn't so hard, was it? Excuse me.

Thank you.

I apologise on behalf of my mother. She's not well, she needs help.

I heard that!

Ooh! What's with the dress?

I'm going to surprise Lee at his work. I'm going to take him out to lunch and that.

I ain't checking up on him. It's called being romantic, all right?

-OK.

-See you later.

Best of three.

PHONE RINGS

BIRDSONG

Mmm! Yeah.

HE HUMS

Hey!

I was going to make some scrambled eggs for lunch. Fancy it?

Hello?

-Oh, no, what does SHE want?

-In here, Shirley.

Oh, whaddya know? It's Luigi and the boys.

I've had a word with Louise.

-Have you, now?

-Look, I know what you said the other day,

but there are other people involved.

Come on, then. Sit down.

Let's get this over and done with.

So you ain't angry with me, then?

One thing you learn as you get older, son -

anger is just wasted energy. When you're angry, who's hurting?

-Hmm?

-Catch was already loose, so I didn't have to try very hard.

Ah, you did me a favour, man.

I just wanted to fix this since forever.

Your eyes are better than mine.

Find four half-inch screws in there for me, please.

So what happen? Things didn't work out at work, then?

Never stops.

I just needed a day to clear my head, you know.

Yeah, well, we all need that from time to time.

Why not stay at home, then?

Eh! Whitney doesn't know what you're up to, I guess.

She'd only worry.

Isn't that what marriage is all about? Sharing your worries?

Do you want a hand with that?

Nah, nah, nah, nah. That would be giving in.

That's what kept me going for the past two years.

Not...giving...in!

HE LAUGHS

But it's not for me to give advice.

But one thing I know, though -

relationships built on lies never, never last.

Believe me, son, I've been there. So I know what I'm talking about.

You ain't going to tell her, are you?

No, it's not my place. How old are you?

I just turned 24.

Yeah, I was a damned fool, too, at your age, you know.

Yeah, man.

Since when do you give up?

-This ain't about giving up.

-Then, what else do you call it?

Do you not think me and Phil haven't already been through all of this?

It's about taking control.

Like Ronnie said, there are other people involved.

There's ALWAYS other people involved. How would there not be?

And the kids?

They'll get over it, eventually. Like kids do.

You see how it is.

This isn't over.

Come on, Ron.

Thanks.

I'm grateful.

Grateful enough for some scrambled eggs?

Yeah, go on, then.

I mean, does Steven never get on your nerves?

-Er, yeah.

-Ian certainly gets on mine.

What are you trying to say?

Well, they've been married how long?

Whitney's trying to be the perfect wife

but she's trying too hard and it's peeing him off.

Yeah, that is pretty much what I've been trying to tell her.

KNOCK ON DOOR

-Well, she's going to have to learn the hard way, poor love.

-Yep.

-What's wrong?

-He weren't there.

He called in sick, according to the woman on the desk

-and now his phone's switched off.

-OK, look, calm down.

Lauren, I don't know what to do. I'm going mad here.

Don't go jumping to conclusions.

It's another woman, ain't it? It's got to be.

Whitney. Stop. I mean it. You don't know nothing.

And you WON'T know anything until you've sat him down and

you've had the conversation, like I said this morning.

Yeah.

Come here.

-Is everything all right out there?

-Yeah. Yeah, we're fine.

We're fine, aren't we, Whit?

Yeah.

-DOOR SHUTS

-Is that you, Martin?

What's the matter?

I feel sick.

Why?

I've only gone and accepted the job.

How come?

Mum phoned me back.

She never! And?

She said it was up to me.

But that's good, isn't it? Why are you upset?

-I'm not upset.

-Well, you look upset.

She called me "Kyle".

Aw, I'm so pleased for you!

So I've booked myself a ticket. St Pancras to Marseilles.

Saturday morning. Help!

Oh, I'm SO proud of you.

SHE LAUGHS

Listen, I couldn't do it.

Dealing with a load of stiffs all day's bad enough,

but, well, a kid?

Kid or not, you never call them stiffs, Phil.

It's one of Les's golden rules.

Respect the deceased at all times.

And that way you respect yourself. And he was right.

What?

No, just...

Look at you.

In your flash suit with your important job. And doing well.

Who'd have thought it, eh?

The runt of the litter turns out to be the best of the bunch.

Actually, you know, I'm not here on my own account.

Shirley sent me.

Did you hear what I just said?

I've always looked up to you, Phil.

Even when you were being a right sod to me, I still did.

But never more than I do now.

But that ain't to say that I think what you're doing is right.

Cos I'll miss you.

Because without YOU...

..this family falls apart.

Which is where you come in, Billy, yeah?

And if you don't, I'll come back and haunt you.

FRONT DOOR OPENS

Now, go on, sling your hook.

I've just spoken to Shirley.

How could you be so selfish?

FOOTSTEPS ON STAIRS

All right, Mum? How did the paninis go?

Oh, don't. I told her to push them. She didn't.

And now she's sulking.

There's a way of handling Tina.

Do you want me to have a word with her?

Ian, I think I run this place now.

OK, OK. Have it your way. Good luck.

Tina, look, I think you and me have got off on the wrong foot.

How about we have a little chat, eh?

KEYS RATTLE

Mmm! That smells nice.

Yeah, it's your favourite. It's chilli con carne.

What was that for?

Why does it have to be for anything?

I love my wife, all right? Right, I'm going to go get changed.

I'm all sweaty. DLR was like a tin of sardines.

How was work?

Yeah, it was all right. You know, same old, same old.

Just like every other day.