Tuesday at Jackie's It's My Shout: Short Films from Wales

SOFT JAZZ MUSIC

He's just sitting there, right, completely confused.

Everybody's looking at him, but he hasn't got a clue what's going on.

And then the magician... Cheers, mate.

..he turns and slowly lifts back his sleeve, but then he says,

"That's not my watch. That's just a jam doughnut."

Do you get it? Because of what the magician said at the sta...

..the start of the joke.

Oh, right, the start of the joke, yeah.

I forget - was Tony Blair Prime Minister then, or...?

Oh, I'm joking.

Oh, sorry. It did go on a bit.

I think I was just trying to delay eating...this.

Yeah, it's pretty, um...

Grim? Grim!

Sorry. My mate, now ex-mate, Tim recommended it.

I was hoping for a sort of,

um, retro, cool, kind of Pulp Fiction-y type vibe,

instead of... A converted pub. Yeah.

Yeah.

MAN COUGHS

But, hey, I've got plenty more crap jokes, if you'd like.

Maybe you should save them for next time.

Oh.

So there's going to be another...date, so to speak?

Perhaps we should try and get through this one first, yeah?

Did you know a date,

which originates from the Latin term "tempus", meaning "time",

is actually a fairly recent construct of human evolution?

Yeah. It's an institution that's only really been introduced

in the last couple of centuries and, if you're asking me,

it's quite, um...emblematic of how we, as humans, have developed

from, you know, hunter-gatherers into more civilised beings.

Wikipedia.

No! No! SHE LAUGHS

PHONE BEEPS

I am merely a student of anthropology and sociology,

so to speak. Yep.

Sorry.

Oh, it's my mum.

Do you mind? Sorry.

WHITE NOISE BUILDS

HE SIGHS

LAUGHTER

Well done. Cos that's what really gets a girl going -

anthropology and reciting Wikipedia articles.

Piss off! Huh?

How was your meals?

Interesting. Lovely, thank you.

Who are you supposed to be, then?

Who do you think, love?

Er...

Peggy from EastEnders? SHE LAUGHS

Are you taking the...? Could we see the dessert menus, please?

Sorry, I didn't mean to...

She's spitting in my dessert now, isn't she? Probably.

But it was worth it.

On our first date,

he started wittering on about gluten-free waffles.

LAUGHTER You should've said "waffling on"!

Luckily, I didn't have to invite him in.

Told him I'd locked myself out

and that my dad was coming with a replacement key.

Not a very good tempus then, eh?

Made your minds up yet? Ladies first.

Oh, I just had a question about the Lady Baltimore cake.

Yeah? Does it contain nuts? Cos I'm allergic.

Well, the ingredients are on the menu.

Er, yeah, I know but...

I wouldn't have worried. Yeah, well, he's not exactly, um...

Oh, what's his name now? Ca.. Ca... Casanova?

..Christian Grey. LAUGHTER

Yeah, well, the fourth date was so dire,

I kissed him just to get him to shut up. Classy.

Still, he waited, like, four dates before making a move.

That's pretty gentlemanly.

Yeah, well, you know the saying,

"Good things come to those who wait"?

That's balls.

That bad? It felt like he was giving me a dental examination

with his tongue.

So did you...let Roger see the rabbit?

LAUGHTER CONTINUES God, no.

But after we broke up, he started seeing my sister.

I didn't know they were sisters!

I didn't know you were sisters!

# I didn't know you were sisters

# Sisters

# Bom-ba-bom... #

You know that song?

No?

Er...

I think we need a few more minutes to decide.

Thanks.

Oh, God, look at the time.

I really should be getting home.

Really? Yeah, you know, work tomorrow and a killer nine to five.

I'll walk you home. No, it's fine.

Please.

Er...

Right.

Sure.

Great.

Cheers. Uh-huh.

Uh-huh.

WIND HOWLS

Oh! Love, close that door!

Er, this is me.

Right. Great.

So, I had a great... Thanks for...

Oh. Ladies first.

Well, Karen, I had a really great... Whoa. Claire.

I'm sorry, what? Did he just say my...?

The name. Whose name?

He did. My name.

Is... Claire. ..Claire.

Yeah, Claire. I know.

What did I say? Karen.

Right.

Crap. It's fine.

No, I'm really sorry, it's just... It's fine.

Oh, man, that's brutal.

Weird. Yeah, talk about a mood killer.

Seriously, mate?

Yeah, you could say adios to being invited in.

Oh, will you just...?!

Sorry.

There's a lot going on in my head tonight.

Well...

..goodnight, then.

Actually, Claire, I just wanted to say...

..I had a really good time tonight.

You know, despite the crap food and even crapper jokes.

You're just really cool and easy to talk to, and you're insanely pretty.

Lovely contours and bone structure.

Sorry. I've literally no idea what I'm saying.

You're just really nice.

King of the adjectives!

Not bad, man. Oh, now I feel bad.

Oh, OK. It is pretty sweet.

Call me tomorrow?

Oh, kiss her!

Dude, just go for it, man!

Kiss her!

BOTH: Kiss her!

Kiss her! Just go for it, man!

Kiss her!

Well, goodnight, then.

Goodnight.

UPBEAT ROCK AND ROLL MUSIC

Well, what happened?

Another moron? Bet he was.

Did you... Let him kiss you?

THEY LAUGH AND CHEER

She said! She said!

You said we were going to give it another shot.

Pfft!

SLOW, ROMANTIC MUSIC

# There was no finer to buy her

# You can all just see

# She looks around her

# Profounder, would her smile not be?

# It took me hours when flowers is a simpler gift

# But, for my baby, there is nothing that I would not do

# Just see this work of art... #

Slate 45, take one.

As film-making trainee programme It's My Shout

begins a summer shooting,

we go behind the scenes of Tuesday At Jackie's.

First, how did these aspiring film-makers

approach the complexities of lighting?

Well, the trick is to gain access to the BBC's Pobol Y Cwm studios.

Yeah, so we're going for some low-key lighting.

Um, we've got a few different light sources

that are kind of integral to the set already.

We've got these, you know, the zebra crossing over here.

We've got some street lamps and then also,

what with it being, you know, a ready-made set,

you've got a rail running across where the door to the flat is,

which gives us options of rigging up lights there.

Are you happy for me to...?

Having to shoot the main diner sequence in the Pobol Y Cwm bar

helped resolve one of the team's creative dilemmas.

So, yeah, originally, we had this major idea,

we were going to get a Pulp Fiction sort of cafe, sort of thing.

American diner, big, huge, neon everywhere.

We had that on one side and on the other side we had, like,

the idea that the place would be a rundown pub

converted into a sort of American diner.

So, with a ready-made set to hand, it was a no-brainer.

They went with the converted pub idea.

MAN COUGHS

Professional lighting technician Robin

has worked on shows like Doctor Who

and found the production's limited lighting set-up...

well, let's just say "stimulating".

Um, I think...it's...

If you're look for Doctor Who lighting effects,

then you go to a Doctor Who studio.

Trying to work within this sort of environment,

you've always got limitations -

you know, you've always got to work with what's around,

what's available to you.

Not big money involved, so it's always a compromise.

Just make it work, make it happen.

You've got bounce light.

Basically, throwing light off the back here.

It's gone really well. It's been really fun

experiencing all the atmosphere and everything.

'It's been really great learning from Robin,

'who's the lighting mentor.

'He's got a lot of knowledge to pass on,

'so it's been really good learning all that.'

The streetlight's coming in.

With everything set up and under control,

director Alex can explore the creative possibilities

of lighting effects.

Basically, this is a stylised approach

to the real world, an imagined world of this short film.

I thought it would be quite fun to...

yeah, basically use dramatic lighting cues to, kind of,

transition between the two worlds...

Turnover!

I wouldn't have worried.

Yeah, well, he's not exactly, um... Oh, what's his name now?

Ca... Ca... Casanova? ..Christian Grey.

..and spotlighting the ex-girlfriends,

just to add some style and to make the film stand out.

WHITE NOISE BUILDS

Later, obviously, we're going to be shooting outside.

Very much, sort of, totally different lighting effect.

You know, we've got to mimic the fact you've got the moon,

you've got streetlights, um...

We're not doing a huge amount of shots outside,

and they do seem to be, inverted commas, "relatively easy ones",

so we'll wait and see.

Having the Pobol Y Cwm backlot available

meant they could make the most of the film's exterior scenes.

So the third act of the film, on the doorstep outside,

that was really the premise of the whole film.

Actually, Claire, I just wanted to say...

..I had a really good time tonight.

It started with them walking down a street,

and it ended with the cut ends now,

but I think three night shoots outside,

you know, in the harsh Welsh weather,

maybe wasn't appealing to most.

At quarter to one in the morning, how is producer Lemarl feeling?

Terrible!

They're doing a lot better than I am,

but, no, I think the energy's still up at the moment.

You can feel it's dropping a little bit,

but, er, hopefully, if that becomes a problem,

we'll just get in and wake everyone up!

As filming comes to an end

for It's My Shout's first production of the summer,

the crew celebrate a successful three days of filming

at the BBC studios and on location in Caerphilly.

And, for some, who knows -

the beginning of a career in the film industry.

'You've tried everything.'

Does it hurt you to touch the control? Yeah.

'There's nowhere else to turn.'

To sign my name would be an incredible thing.

'Graham needs a better way to communicate.

'What if the best brains in Britain could help to fix your life?'

My challenge is immense.

You know you're doing it for the right reasons, so you keep going.

Gah! Did it just work? It's life-changing.

I can't thank you enough.