Distempers of Learning Orphan Black

I feel like the play is saving my life right now.

-Everybody, this is Felix, my acting coach.

-Hello!

-I killed Aynsley!

-No!

We just need to prove that Donnie's really your monitor.

-My old network.

-Mummy!

Project Lida? I swear to you, I don't know who they are.

You sold us to the Proletheans.

Are you excited for our big adventure, monkey?

You did well to save her, Mark.

She's a mirror. See? Her internal organs are reversed.

It's a brand-new day.

This programme contains some violent scenes.

Hey.

All right, Fe?

Oh, yeah. I adore camping.

It's not really camping, is it?

More like sleeping in a truck.

I slept in the bed of a flatdeck.

In my world, that's considered camping.

Otherwise known as homeless in the country.

Hey...

..how much did Kira see

of Barry Birdwatcher's, you know, "pfff!"?

-Demise?

-Yeah.

-She didn't see Siobhan take the shot, thank God.

Jesus Christ. Our dear old mum's a dead eye with a rifle.

It just makes me queasy.

Yeah, she was cold, Fe.

Like she'd done it before.

This is insane.

It's S, you know? She makes tea and... And she taught me piano.

Oh! Bloody hell!

Come on!

Ah-ha-ha!

That's... Don't laugh.

Oh, is it bad?

Disgusting! No! God!

What's so funny?

Uncle Felix camping is funny.

No, I'm not. God, I'm going to have to wash my whole foot!

OK, look, we need to get to civilisation.

FLIES BUZZING

Sorry, Hank.

Shouldn't have put my faith in them.

Nah, nobody said it was going to be easy, Mark.

Just going to have to work

with what we've been given.

Helena.

Mm-hmm.

Light 'em up.

When are we going to get breakfast?

We'll get you something now, yeah?

Well, I'd have happily taken us to that last Greasy Spoon,

but mummy threw my Visa card out the window.

Because they might track us.

Hey, kiddo.

Whoa, whoa whoa! Hey, hey, little missy.

Did you, uh, did you forget something?

Cos you kind of got to pay for it, first.

I don't have any money.

Hey. There you are.

Yeah, um, look, somebody forgot to pay for something, so...

Ohh! Kira, I told you to wait till I gave you money.

Didn't I?

Sorry about that.

I think that should... Oh, shit!

Whoa, whoa! I got it. I got it.

-Sorry. You got it? OK, thanks.

-No problem.

-Is that good?

-Yeah.

-Yeah? OK. Sorry.

-Yeah.

-Bye.

-No, yeah. Uh...

What are you doing here, Angie?

Got something that might tempt you out of obscurity.

Let me guess... You went to the hospital after I told you not to.

Eh! Still got it, Art. And guess what.

That Shakira-haired lookalike? Gone.

-Poof. Surveillance shows some guy wheeling her out.

-Who?

No ID on either one of them. Yet.

Sit your ass down, Angie.

No, I think I'll stand, Art.

I told you. Let it go.

If you don't, I will go to Hardcastle myself

and tell him you're still after it.

You know you're letting down

two partners now, right? Me and Beth.

Well, it was just a complete disaster,

it was like my worst nightmare,

not having done my hair for picture day.

Hey, baby,

that thing we did at the store?

-We don't do that, unless we have to, yeah?

-I know, Mum.

Just, uh, go get your stuff from the truck, yeah?

Careful. You know, I've been in this area before.

-When?

-There's loads of cabins and summer houses.

We'll just find an empty one and we'll hole up for a bit.

She needs a proper bed, Fe.

OK.

SNORING

STARTS VACUUMING

Alison.

Hey, stop! Alison, come on.

Oh. What are you doing here?

Why aren't you at work?

I told you. Susan Teller's in Austin this week.

So your boss is away. That's why you're playing hooky?

Uh, yeah.

Hmm.

Hey, honey, the other day, with Sarah Stubbs,

you know, in the cemetery?

I'm worried, is all.

You've been so wound up.

And I know, well, you got that big

dress rehearsal tomorrow, right?

Who's my little star?

That is not helping.

Well, don't you sit down right here and let me relax you?

You know, morning's my best time.

I just showered.

This is nice, eh?

Doesn't look like anybody's around.

Looks well-appointed.

OK, let's have a look.

Hmm.

I dunno. Bachelor, maybe?

A photographer.

Mmm! Dr Cormier,

look at you, waltzing into Leekie's office whenever you want to.

Well, only when he's away.

But he's away a lot and I like it in here.

We should mess with his, like, little bio-energy hobby farm.

I'm going to put like an electric eel in one of these tubes.

He'll be like, "Great Scot, I've created life itself."

-Cosima.

-What?

-Come here.

-What?

I just found out. I think you have a right to see this.

-All right.

-I just want to show you.

Oh, whoa. Who is that?

'Hi. I'm Jennifer Fitzsimmons.

'I'm a teacher and swim coach at Sheldon High.

'So they asked me to keep this video journal

'because they found polyps on my lungs.

'I was having trouble breathing

and went in for tests and...

'Yeah, unidentified polyps.'

Jennifer was the first to show symptoms,

six months before Katja Obinger.

We have hours of these tapes.

She all right?

She died.

Three days ago.

I'm sleeping here tonight.

Oh! Me, too!

Uncle Felix already called it.

No! He didn't.

-When are we going to see Mrs S again?

-I don't know.

I was wondering the same.

She protected us, though.

Didn't she, even though she was lying?

I hope, but I'll protect you now.

I know I wasn't always around, but I'm here now.

Nothing bad is going to happen to you. Except for that.

-GIGGLING

-Except for that. And this.

Don't. No!

Yeah, just out by county line, here.

Probably abandoned.

Plates have been removed. I got a vin number, though. You ready?

All right, India Foxtrot Alpha Nine Charlie...

Look at her, Gracie.

Men schemed for years to build her,

but only God could make her fertile.

You think far too highly of her.

Grace.

Is your name?

Yes.

Why am I here?

Father says he wants you to join our family.

I've already got a family.

You're barely even human.

I have a twin sestra.

And a plemyannica,

a niece.

-Where is Tomas?

-Gone.

My dad said back to Europe, in the Dark Ages.

Good riddance.

(Hey, Sarah, wake up.

(Someone's here.)

They're coming.

Look, we've got to go, now!

Oh, God. Run!

-Felix.

-Hey!

-Shit!

-Hey!

-Whoa!

Look...

Cal! Cal!

-Cal!

-Sarah?

-You know him?!

-What the hell are you doing in my house?!

-W...We were in a bind. We broke in. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

-A bind?

You got so much nerve.

Last time I saw you, you took ten grand and my car.

-You brought us to the house of one of your marks?!

-Felix...

-Are you insane?

-Hey, hey, Felix. Relax, relax.

-"One of your marks".

Felix. Foster brother and an avowed pacifist.

-Sure. No offence, but get out. I don't want to know you.

-Cal, please.

-Get out!

-Cal, please!

-Mummy. What's going on?

-Shit.

Oh, baby, come here.

You OK?

Did you get scared?

I'm sorry. It's just Cal. He's an old friend.

Yeah. Well, actually, I'm not.

You OK?

Are you my dad?

Blow me down.

-Is this a scam?

-Right.

You, with the cute little girl and she goes, "Are you my daddy?"

-And I get fleeced again?

-It's not a scam, Cal.

I was here with you for a month.

Timing's right. She's yours.

You're killing me.

Look, I didn't come here for a father figure for my kid.

-No?

-I just needed a place to sleep. That's it.

-Well, what kind of shit are you into now?

-We're going to leave.

-We're going to get our stuff. We're going to go.

-Great. Walk away.

-Yeah.

That's your speciality, isn't it?

Hold on! Hold...

I'm not going to kick this little girl out on the street.

You can spend another night, if it helps you out, all right?

-Thank you.

-Just don't steal anything.

# Blood in the bathroom

# Higher than the bathroom mat

# And did you know the thing that's really strange

# The police do not arrest

# They take the body and the family

# Deal with the splatter

-# There's no-one you can call to help you through it...

-#

OK, OK. OK, OK, that's great.

That's great. That's great.

-Alison.

-Hmm.

Let's save that beautiful instrument for the audience, OK?

Guys, let's just do the dialogue.

OK? Dialogue only.

-Holy f-fishsticks.

-Sorry.

I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to startle you.

I'm locked out of my car. My phone's inside.

Think I could borrow yours to call my husband?

Oh, yeah. Been there.

You're a life-saver.

Ooh, I love your kicks. Do you live nearby?

Uh, yeah. Black Oak Drive.

Oh. Hilldale Crescent. I'm Angie.

-Alison.

-Hey.

Hey, Laura. It's me. Is he in?

-Did you say Hillsdale Drive?

-Yeah.

Oh. I've never seen you before.

We just moved in.

Hey, hon, it's me. Brain cramp over at the Community Centre.

I locked myself out of the car.

Can you bring me the spare key?

You're the best.

-Half an hour. Hey, can I buy you a cup of coffee as a thank you?

-No.

I have to pick up my kids.

OK. No worries. Maybe some other time.

I know I should've told you, but, um...

..I wanted you all to myself.

But you always left.

You know I never had a real mum and dad, yeah?

Yeah.

When I was your age, it made me very angry.

And I was...

so confused.

And I don't want that for you.

I guess I brought you here because

there's two parts of you, yeah?

One of them is me

and one is your dad. Do you get that?

Do you like Cal?

Yeah. A long time ago, I liked him very much.

I like his beard.

Make yourself at home.

Sorry.

I'm not snooping.

Just wondering.

Uh-huh.

Listen, I am intimately acquainted with my sister's bullshit.

My concern is for Kira.

Whatever you're angling for, man, just ask.

Good. OK. Who are you?

Sarah must've come back here for a reason, so what is this?

What, exactly, do you do?

It's what I did.

Pollinators.

-Sorry?

-Minidrone pollinators,

for areas where bee populations have crashed.

I designed the micro-optics,

but my partners forced me out and sold the technology to the military.

And, now, they kill people from bases in Virginia with it.

But I don't.

Moralist with money.

Perfect mark.

For child support?

She already robbed me once.

COUGHING

'The bad news is the cough is getting worse.

'But the amazing news is Dr Aldous Leekie of the DYAD Institute

'says he can help,

'so they're going to fly me out for treatment.

'Thanks to this amazing guy. Come.

'This is Greg,

'my amazing boyfriend.'

Oh, my God.

'New semester starts today. Hallie sent me a picture of the new class.

'They look like a good group.'

That's enough.

You've seen all of it.

That's her monitor, right?

Yeah.

Sometimes I forget that you're mine.

That's good.

He kept her completely in the dark.

She had this total fake hope.

It's not fake, not for any of us.

The fact that she was naive

did not come from either treatment.

You know,

we are telling you everything now,

but if you can't handle it...

I can handle it. Don't be a bitch.

That's what I thought.

Better get ready.

'Dr Leekie couldn't even help me. He lied.

'How am I doing?

'I'm going to die here.'

You brought us here on purpose.

You wanted Kira to meet her father.

-I didn't even know he'd be here, Fe.

-Bollocks!

That is bollocks, Sarah, and you know it.

For eight years - eight years -

you pretended you didn't know who he was?

You let me narrow it down to Ziggy the drummer

or that guy that you met in Orange County, at that bar?

You knew the whole time.

Look, after yesterday,

stealing to feed Kira,

we were in the area. I just...

-God!

-I knew it was time to...

-You are a bloody wrecking ball.

You are an exploding cigar. Do you know that?

Look, just let me patch things up with Cal.

He's a good guy, Fe.

-I bet he is.

-He is.

Resourceful. Big farm biceps.

He's completely disconnected from all the shit we're dealing with.

I think Kira deserves something...

something nourishing, for once,

even just for a few days.

Yeah.

No, you're right.

She just met her father.

You can't yank her away.

But Uncle Felix isn't going to be baby-sitting

while you negotiate custody.

-Come on, Fe.

-No.

I've got other drama in my life, Sarah.

Alison's musical opens tomorrow. She needs me.

There's no place for me here.

Nothing more to say.

Except goodbye to Kira.

You ready?

Hey, I take it you did a rotation in pathology, Dr Cormier.

I did.

Then...

COUGHING

A...Are you OK?

Mm-hmm.

Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine.

OK. Are you fine to help me with this?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm fine.

So, as you can see, the intestine has been tied off,

so I'm going to cut it free.

So what are those sores, um, on her lips?

Oh, look, from the cyclophosphamide treatment.

The same reason she lost her hair.

So, um, it's not Wegener's granulomatosis

or Churg-Strauss Syndrome.

It's got to be autoimmune, right?

Yes, but unclassified.

And immunosuppressives had limited effect.

But look, on the uterine wall.

The growths, they're more pronounced, more mature.

-Right.

-So this could mean that they have originated

in the uterus and spread from there.

That could be the cause of her infertility.

Possibly.

PHONE RINGS

No, now's not a good time.

Sorry, it's my mom.

Sorry, I'm kind of in the middle of it.

Red alert, Cosima. I've just been approached by another monitor,

which means they know I know about Donnie,

which means you definitely can't trust Delphine.

That's complicated.

Complicated? My play opens tomorrow.

Your play.

Don't belittle me, Cosima.

Felix is gone. Sarah's gone.

You and I are the only ones who can hold down the fort now.

Look, I'm having enough trouble holding down my own fort today.

Sorry to bother you with the very crucial information

that I'm being double monitored.

I'm sorry, OK?

Just go through the motions with Donnie, OK? Uh, uh...

Break a leg, or whatever.

I'll call you tomorrow, OK?

Unless Delphine blackbags you into the back of an SUV

and then puts you in a rabbit cage somewhere.

Then, I'll never speak to you again.

Hey, you. Hey. Hatha yoga today.

It's mostly an older crowd, but at least

I don't get hipster dudes staring at my ass, right?

So you must be in that play that starts today.

Look, I know what you're doing, Angie.

If that's even your real name. So you can just go back to your bosses

and tell them it didn't work.

OK, wait. Wait! You're right.

OK. I'm a police officer.

Yeah, like Beth.

So why don't you tell me about that, huh?

How about Sarah Manning?

Look, I can help you.

But you got to tell me what you know.

You stay away from me.

Hey. She's out like a light.

She wanted me to say goodnight.

You know, back then, when you left,

it took me a long time to admit to myself that I'd been played.

Yeah, well,

what you don't know is that

I already had all your bank codes and passwords.

I was going to take you for everything you had,

-selling your company.

-Why didn't you?

You just made it...

..hard. I'm not that person any more, Cal, but,

I'm still just as much trouble.

-Get down.

-What?

Hide. Local cop.

-Shit!

-You want to say hi?

Hey, Tom!

Great to see you, man.

-Cal.

-How's that spey rod working out?

Oh, I don't know how you cast that thing. 16 feet long.

I spend half the day tangled in the bushes.

-You know you're supposed to use it on the water, right?

-Right.

So what's going on?

Oh, a bunch of nothing, probably.

Some shoplifters hit up the store.

-A mom with a little girl and another guy.

-Yeah?

And I found a stolen truck just down the way.

May be connected. Not sure.

Huh. Well, it's been all quiet here, since I got back last night.

Yeah, well...

You know I've never asked any questions about why you moved here.

Or about that little weed patch you got out back.

Come on, man.

Look, all I'm saying is I'd like to think you can trust me, by now.

Tom, if I thought there was anything you should know, I'd tell you.

Good enough.

'Night.

See you later.

I shouldn't have put you in that position.

-Oh, come on, it's all right. He's a friend.

-No.

-He's not going to say anything. He's gone.

-No, no. We're gone, too, man.

-Now?

-Yeah.

-Kira's sleeping.

Yeah, well, she's used to it.

Come on, come on, just hold on. Where are you going to go?

-Just... I don't know, somewhere.

-Tell me what's going on here.

-It's not your problem.

-You're safe here.

-I can't trust that, Cal.

-Trust me.

Can't you stop running for a minute?

THEY DO VOCAL EXERCISES

OK, troupe.

Troupe, let's gather.

Kelsey, everyone. Alison.

Alison.

Sorry. Let's gather.

Everyone, join hands, please.

OK, today's performance is dedicated

to our dearly departed Aynsley.

Aynsley, we know you're with us

and we are going to do you proud.

For Aynsley.

ALL: For Aynsley!

Oh, Sheila, why didn't you just tell me the truth?

You would've turned me in.

You...

You never...

"You would never!"

You would never have helped me, unless you were wrapped up in it.

Too.

I would've helped you clean up, anyway.

# Forgive me, forgive me

# Oh, God, what have I done?

# I should have known that this would be the ending to the story

# We've begun

# Now I'm merry

# Someday I knew

# I'd find somebody

# To make me complete

# I walk down the aisle... #

Alison. Someone get a doctor! Someone get a doctor.

Honey, are you OK?

Ali? Oh, my God. Don't just stand there. Go get some help!

You don't want to confuse Kira, huh?

Good intuition.

Guess that's where she gets it.

Coffee?

Yeah.

Name's Peter White. I'm a detective from Gresham.

Looking for a little girl in a custody case.

With a dark-haired woman in her 20s, British accent.

-They stole a truck that was up here.

-Yeah They were here yesterday.

They distracted me while some new-waver stole a bunch of food.

New-waver, huh? Sounds like 'em.

Any idea where they might be headed?

I hear you're not happy with our plans for Helena.

She doesn't belong here.

No, you're scared.

I understand that, but what do we say about fear?

Doubt's first cousin, am I right?

You have doubts, Gracie?

No.

C'mere.

Close your eyes.

What do you hear?

-The wind.

-Mm-hmm.

The men, working.

Him. You hear him, don't you?

-Yes.

-Yeah.

Gracie, you're my first-born, but Helena does have a soul,

she does have a purpose,

and she is going to be a part of our family now.

That's what tomorrow's all about.

I'm guessing you're the detective been asking questions in town.

Yeah. Sorry I didn't pop by to say hello, but time is of the essence.

Hmm.

Any help you could provide would be much appreciated.

Well, if the folks you're looking for were still around,

they'd be in custody.

Guess I'll be on my way, then.

Probably best.

-Last card.

-Uh-oh.

I win!

-Aw, no! You're a shark!

-She beat you.

-Can I go feed the chickens again, Cal?

-Sure. Go for it.

Those are going to be some fat chickens.

You going to tell me what's going on?

No, I'm not going to put that shit on you.

Mummy!

Uh-oh. What does that mean?

Mummy!

Mummy!

Shit. Kira!

She's fine! Just get in the car and she'll stay that way.

Don't...Don't hurt her!

You... Get back in the house, Cal.

He's got nothing to do with this.

-Yeah? He does now.

-No!

Kira! Kira, run!

Mummy!

Take her inside, Cal!

-Get up! Get up!

-Mummy!

You shot a cop. You madman!

1033.

1033.

Get up! Get up!

-POLICE RADIO:

-'Tom, we're sending...'

No! No!

'They'll be there momentarily.'

Come on.

'Tom, Tom, do you copy?'

Cal!

-Send out the girl!

-No!

Not going to happen.

Take me.

Please, just take me. Please!

Huh, what's this?

Get in. You're driving.

Get in!

Miracle on top of miracle.

Although we are small in rank,

we have broken away from the old world

because we know what they do not...

Man's work is God's work,

as long as you do it in God's name.

Helena,

was created by man, not in his name,

but God shone his light down upon her.

Shh-shh-shh. Shh-shh-shh!

You are hereby bound together before God.

Lord, we are asking you, as simply as we can...

reclaim Helena from eternal damnation.

Bless us with your bounty.

We are your instruments

in the war for creation.

Amen.

ALL: Amen.

Where'd you get this?

I'm not telling you shit.

Yeah, I have Sarah, but not the girl.

Look, don't worry. I know who she's with.

We have another problem, here.

She has a photo, project Lida, '77.

We'll be back in eight hours.

Look, Kira's got nothing to do with this.

She's your daughter.

You touch her, and I will bury you.

Just drive.

I demand to speak to Dr Leekie, right this second!

You're trespassing, Detective Bell.

-Dad, it's awake.

-She's part of the family, now, Gracie.

-Henrik!

-Does that mean that Mrs S knew the whole time?

What else is she not bloody telling us?

20 years ago, you brought an orphan to my door.

She's the key to all of this.