Episode 1 Pointless

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Thank you very much indeed.

Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong and welcome to Pointless,

the show where the aim of the game

is to score as few points as you can.

You do that by coming up with the answers no-one else could think of.

Let's meet today's players.

And couple number one.

I'm Ellis, this is Ellen.

We're friends and we're from Staffordshire.

Couple number two.

Hi, I'm Zoe. This is Alex, my boyfriend, and we're from Brighton.

Couple number three.

I'm Anne, this is my good friend, Barbara,

and we're from Thurcaston in Leicestershire.

And finally couple number four.

Hi, I'm Colm. This is my dad, Clint, and we're from Reigate in Surrey.

And these are today's contestants.

Thanks very much all of you.

We will, of course, chat to each of you throughout the show,

as it goes on. And that just leaves one more person for me to introduce.

Sculpting today's trophy from the frozen tears of failed contestants,

it's my Pointless friend, it's Richard.

-CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

-Hiya. Hi, everybody.

-Good afternoon to you.

-Good afternoon.

-How are you?

-I'm very well.

What a win last time.

-Steve and Alice - £3,000 they took home.

-Yeah.

Vilnius was their winning answer.

I won't tell you what the question was -

you'll just have to guess what it was. Vilnius.

-Vilnius.

-Impressively done. One pair returning from that show.

That's Ellis and Ellen on podium one there.

-Now, Ellis and Ellen joined the 200 Club last time.

-Mm.

-But they were very unlucky, in my opinion.

-Mm.

It was one of those questions,

where something wasn't in the dictionary,

which people might think it was.

So I think an unfortunate joining of the 200 Club.

-Yeah.

-But we welcome three new pairs.

Lovely first question today.

-Is it?

-Yeah.

-Oh, that makes a change, doesn't it?!

-It does.

Normally I try to have a disappointing one,

but today I thought, "Why not? Come on."

Why not? Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

Now, all our questions on Pointless

have been put to 100 people before the show.

Our contestants must find those obscure answers

our 100 people didn't get.

Of course, everyone's trying to find a pointless answer -

that being an answer that NONE of our 100 people gave.

Each time that happens, we will add £250 to the jackpot.

Now, Steve and Alice won the jackpot last time,

so today's jackpot starts off back at £1,000. There it is.

Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

All you have to remember is that the pair with the highest score

at the end of each round will be eliminated.

So do your best to find those low-scoring answers.

OK, our first category today is...

Bond Films. Can you all decide in your pairs

who's going to go first, who's going to go second.

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

Very good. And our first question is all about...

Oscar-Nominated Bond Actors, Richard.

Simply, we're going to show you 16 pictures now of actors.

They've all appeared in Bond films

and they've all been Oscar-nominated at some point in their career.

You just need to tell us who the actors are, please.

So any of the following 16 faces you're about to see.

OK. So, as Richard has explained, we're going to show you 16 pictures.

You just have to identify one of the people on that board.

And here is that image.

Look at that.

There they all are - Bond actors.

Bond actors.

Now, Ellen, welcome back.

Remind us what you do, Ellen.

I'm a student. I also work part-time in a pharmacy.

Which department of the pharmacy?

Are you actually behind the prescriptions counter?

I'm an assistant, so I can't prescribe you anything,

but I can tell you what I think's good for you.

-People do that in pharmacies all the time now, don't they?

-Yeah.

What's the thing that most people try and buy

that you have to sort of clamp down on?

I would probably say, on average,

it's always stuff like cough medicines and things like that.

Everyone has a cough and cold.

Sometimes they do that, don't they? They hold it like that and they say,

-"Have you used this before? Describe your symptoms."

-Yeah.

-"Are you buying it for yourself?"

-Yeah.

-That one.

And then very reluctantly you hand it over. This time!

Always with that, you just lie, don't you?

"Yes, it's for me. Yes, I've used it before.

-"Yes, I know it's a pregnancy test."

-Yeah!

LAUGHTER

-What are the symptoms?"

-Yeah.

-Now, Ellen, Bond actors?

-OK.

-Are we happy? Are we happy about this as a round?

-It's OK.

OK. Good. There we are, good. Ellen, Bond actors.

OK. I'm going to say Rosamund Pike.

Rosamund Pike, says Ellen. Let's see if that's right,

let's see how many of our 100 people said Rosamund Pike.

It is right.

That is a very, very, very good answer, Ellen.

5 for Rosamund Pike.

-On the evidence of that, they were robbed last time.

-Weren't they?

That's terrific stuff, Ellen. Very well played.

Yes, she played Miranda Frost in Die Another Day,

and she was Oscar nominated for Gone Girl.

-Thank you. Now, Alex.

-Hi.

-Welcome to Pointless.

-Great to have you. You're from Brighton?

-Yes, I am.

And what is it you do in Brighton?

I'm a secondary school science teacher.

So when term finishes, Alex,

and you've done all your things you have to do for the following term,

what do you like to run off and do?

Um, I like to exercise a lot.

I like to go and watch lots of Game Of Thrones as well.

Avid Game Of Thrones...

-..watcher?

-..watcher. Yeah.

"Wotcha!"

I watch lots of sport as well.

I'm a really big Liverpool fan.

Very good. Are you a Bond fan?

Am I a Bond fan? Yes, I am.

-This is good.

-Yeah.

-This is good.

Alex, Bond actors.

-Bond actors, Alex.

-Er, I'm going to go...

I know a couple of them but I'm going to go for Javier Bardem.

Javier Bardem, says Alex.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Javier Barden.

9. APPLAUSE

9 for Javier Bardem.

Nice work, Alex. I always get nervous for teachers

because of all the kids watching.

But that's a perfectly good answer, isn't it?

Yeah, played Silva in Skyfall.

And won an Oscar for No Country For Old Men.

There you go. Thanks very much indeed.

Barbara, welcome to the show.

-Here from Thurcaston.

-Yes.

I think it's the first time we've had contestants from Thurcaston.

-Yes.

-I believe.

What do you do, Barbara?

I'm a part-time reader for a local publisher.

Is that proofreading?

No, I just read the books. They pay me to read the books.

And then what do you do on the back of that?

-You would say...

-I do have to write a report.

-"I liked it."

-Recommend it for publishing or not.

-Right.

Are you very candid then, if there are things you don't like?

I say if it's good...

There's no point saying it's a nice book if it's rubbish

-and you don't want to inflict it on other people.

-OK.

LAUGHTER

But you have to read to the end, don't you?

-So if you're really hating it...

-You have to read all of it.

Cos they are paying you.

-There is that.

-There is that.

-There is that.

Now Barbara, Bond actors.

Julian Fellowes.

Julian Fellowes, says Barbara. Let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many of our 100 people identified Julian Fellowes.

Very well done indeed.

Best score so far.

4 for Julian Fellowes.

It's a very high-quality first round, isn't it, so far?

Look at those scores. Yeah, he plays the Minister for Defence

in Tomorrow Never Dies.

And won an Oscar for the screenplay for Gosford Park.

Thank you very much, Richard.

-Clint. Welcome to the show.

-Hello.

Good to have you here. Where are you from, Clint?

Reigate in Surrey.

And what do you do there?

I'm a property developer.

I have a small development company, construction.

Buy land, build new houses.

Right you are. And what are your loves, Clint?

-Loves? Bruce Springsteen.

-That's good.

-The England football team.

-That's good.

And Colm.

-ALL:

-Aw!

-LAUGHTER

And do you manage to see lots of all of those people?

-I'm sure you see lots of Colm!

-Yeah,

I've just come back from seeing Bruce play at Madison Square Garden.

Wow. How many times have you seen him?

Round about 25 times now.

Do you have a favourite gig?

A favourite gig?

The last one was fantastic,

cos it was a rerun of The River Tour.

Which you also saw?

-Yes, I did, in 1981.

-Wow.

-Good work.

-And I follow the England football team quite a bit.

Oh, we went to see them at Madison Square Garden!

They were amazing!

-It was a rerun of Italia '90.

-Yeah.

-It was, er...

-I mean, it ended badly, but...

-Yeah.

Really, really good. Now, Clint,

what would you like to go for on this board?

I know a few of them. There are some low answers already.

So I'm going to try Christopher Walken.

-Christopher Walken...

-Yes.

..says Clint, let's see if that's right.

If it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

It's right.

4 is our lowest score. 9 is our highest.

Ooh, 27 for Christopher Walken.

APPLAUSE

-Yeah, in any other round, not a bad score, is it, 27?

-No.

He was in A View To A Kill.

And he won an Oscar for The Deer Hunter.

-Christopher Walken.

-There we are. Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

Well, we're halfway through the round.

Let's take a look at those scores.

Well, Barbara, very well done.

Barbara and Anne looking very strong on 4.

Then we travel up to 5, where we find Ellen and Ellis.

HE SIGHS A reprieve after last time!

Then up to 9, where we find Alex and Zoe. Very well done.

Then up to 27. Christopher Walken -

a high scorer for you, Clint.

So, Colm, you know what you have to do.

We need a really obscure and low-scoring answer.

Best of luck. We'll come back down the line now.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

OK, so remember, we're looking for the names

of any of these Oscar-nominated Bond actors.

And obviously, Colm,

you're going to try to find the lowest-scoring one you can.

-Colm, welcome to the show.

-Hi there.

What do you do, Colm?

I study graphic design at Southampton Solent.

-That's fun.

-Mm-hm.

-What year are you in?

I'm in my second at the moment.

-Enjoying it?

-Oh, I love it.

And graphic design, is that where you're going to go afterwards?

-Yeah.

-You're sure of that. You're enjoying it enough.

What are your hobbies, when you're not working?

Playing tennis a lot, watching Pointless a little bit.

This is... "A little bit"? What do you mean?!

-You do MORE tennis?!

-Sorry, I love Pointless.

-Thank you.

It's only 45 minutes a day, to be fair.

Well, I know, but does he play tennis that often?

I want to know. 45 minutes of tennis a day?

-Colm? Yeah.

-Really?

Yeah, yeah, he absolutely does.

"Pointless Colm", they call him!

LAUGHTER

-Er, Colm.

-Yes.

-Now...

..Bond people.

Yeah, a bit of a tough act to follow, with everyone else.

COLM PUFFS

I think I'm going to go with John Cleese.

John Cleese, says Colm.

No red line for you as you're the high scorers.

Let's see how much we get for John Cleese.

It's right.

Oh! I feared that might be the answer there.

APPLAUSE

76, taking your total up to 103.

Yeah, that is a big score.

He's in a couple of Bond films, Cleese,

and nominated for the screenplay for A Fish Called Wanda.

That's where he got his Oscar nomination from.

-Yeah, a very recognisable face.

-Yes.

Thanks very much, Richard.

-Anne.

-Hello.

-Welcome to the show.

-What do you do, Anne?

-I'm a student with the Open University.

-And what are you studying?

-English literature.

And how long have you been studying it?

Six years. But it's part-time!

-That's the nice thing about the Open University.

-Yes.

You can take your time.

-Are you loving it?

-Absolutely fantastic.

I finished in the summer.

I've just got two essays and one exam.

And then I'm just going to be bereft.

Ah! But I mean, you want to be...

I don't know, I don't know. How do you keep that going?

How do you keep that fire burning, I wonder?

I'm going to learn Latin, I think.

That's how you keep the fire burning.

Just work through all the arts and then move on to science.

I thought about starting with A and going through to Z.

That's a great idea.

Now, Anne, Bond actors.

I am really not good at this

but I do know a handsome man who looks very much like you.

LAUGHTER

Slightly weird non sequitur there, but go on.

And that's "Ralph Fienne".

-Say it one more time.

-"Fienne".

F-I-E-N-N-E-S?

OK, let's see if Ralph Fiennes is right.

There's your red line.

Very well done.

APPLAUSE

Ralph Fiennes takes your total up to 36.

Well done, Anne. Ralph Fiennes,

but given you spelled it, we allowed it.

Of course, he stars in Skyfall and Spectre.

Or as Anne calls them, "Kyfall" and "Pectre".

LAUGHTER

Oscar-nominated for Schindler's List

and English Patient as well.

There we go. Zoe.

-Hi.

-Welcome to Pointless.

Great to have you here from Brighton.

I'm actually from Swansea in Wales but I study in Brighton.

-I see.

-Yes.

-Yeah.

-I'm at uni there.

-You're at uni there.

-And what year are you in?

-I'm in third year.

-What are you studying?

-Pharmacy.

-Have you been...?

-Yeah, I've talked to... Yeah.

-OK.

Basically, all you have to learn is this.

LAUGHTER

-Are you enjoying it though?

-Yeah, it's good.

It's hard, third year. But, yeah, I'm enjoying it.

Very good indeed.

And what do you get up to, aside from your hard studies?

I like to bake and I like to rock climb sometimes as well.

Very nice. You could bake rock cakes. Sorry...

-Yeah, I have actually.

-Ah, there you go.

Very good. Now, Zoe. Bond actors.

I'm not very good at this.

I know a few up there but I think maybe I'm just going to play it safe

and go with Halle Berry.

OK, Halle Berry.

93 is your target.

If you can score that or less,

you are through to the next round. There's your red line.

Let's see how far down the column you get with Halle Berry.

Very well done.

46. APPLAUSE

Which takes your total up to 55.

Yeah, stars in Die Another Day, of course,

and won an Oscar for Monster's Ball.

Thank you, Richard.

-Ellis.

-Hello.

Ellis, remind us what you do.

I'm a student and I work part time in a pharmacy.

And what sort of student are you?

What are you studying?

Professional and creative writing and English literature.

Do you get any good ideas for creative writing in the pharmacy?

People coming in, maybe asking for medicines

that they haven't tried before or...

-LAUGHTER

-Well, I'm studying crime fiction.

That's fun. Crime fiction.

-It's all right.

-What do you mean, "It's all right"?

LAUGHTER

Oh, it could be fabulous.

So what's the longest story you have written so far?

-Um, just focusing on short stories.

-OK.

Started writing the start of a novel.

I haven't touched it, really, but I have started.

LAUGHING: That's the main thing.

OK, so there you are - you're on 5.

If you can score 97 or less...

-Hm.

-..you're into the next round.

Would you like to talk us through that board?

Er, well, I recognise a lot of them.

Judi Dench is the top. Er...

Yeah. Well, the one that I'm going to go with is Christoph Waltz.

Christoph Waltz or "Vaultz" or "Valtz".

There is your red line. If you can get below that with Christoph Waltz,

you are through to the next round.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Christoph Waltz.

It's right and you're through. Very well done.

APPLAUSE 9.

9, very well done.

Taking your total up to 14,

the lowest scorers of the first round.

Well done, Ellis. Yeah, he plays Blofeld in Spectre.

-Oh, he's a terrifying actor as well, isn't he?

-He is.

-Terrific.

-Found success very late in life, as well.

-Yeah.

Lots of acting in Germany,

but now he's brilliant in everything he's in.

Now, we'll leave the top row

cos there's a couple of pointless answers up there.

We'll take a look at the second row.

We've had Cleese and Bardem.

There's Minnie Driver there, of course.

She would have scored you 25 points.

On the third row there, we've had Rosamund Pike.

Next to Rosamund Pike?

-Albert Finney.

-Albert Finney would have scored you 5 points.

He's in Skyfall.

He's been nominated five times for an Oscar, never won an Oscar,

-Albert Finney.

-Wow.

-Amazingly.

-Mm.

Bottom row?

-Telly Savalas.

-Telly Savalas. Also played Blofeld.

He would have scored you 46 points. Next to him?

Er, Benicio del Toro.

Benicio del Toro would have scored you 5.

-We've had Halle Berry.

-Halle Berry.

-Then we have...?

Oh, I forget. Sean Connery.

Now, Sean Connery...

We've got Judi Dench at the top there as well.

Who do you think scored most out of those two?

That you're asking me suggests that maybe Judi Dench did?

Well, Judi Dench would have scored you 83,

Sean Connery 85.

-85.

-Wow.

Just tops Judi Dench - only just though.

So we just have the two pointless answers up the top there.

-It's Topol.

-Topol?

-Topol is the second picture there.

And very well done if you got the fourth one at the top there,

who is Giancarlo Giannini from Casino Royale and Quantum Of Solace.

Was nominated for an Oscar for Seven Beauties.

Terrific answer if you got that at home. Very well played.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

So, at the end of our first round,

the pair who will be heading home with their high score of 103...

I'm sorry, Colm and Clint, 'tis you.

But we'll see you again next time.

Look forward to your return very much.

In the meantime, thanks very much for playing. Colm and Clint.

APPLAUSE

But, for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

Well, we're now down to two pairs but well done, everyone.

Some lovely low scoring in that round.

Barbara - yours, I think, was the lowest score.

4 points for Julian Fellowes.

Wonderful scoring there. And Ellis and Ellen -

there we are. There's our answer.

This is what Round Two looks like. LAUGHTER

So this is what you would have seen last time.

Anyway, best of luck to all three pairs.

Our category for Round Two this afternoon is...

Can you all decide in your pairs

who's going to go first, who's going to go second.

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK. And the question concerns...

Anniversaries In 2016. Richard?

We are going to show you six clues on each pass

to things that are celebrating their anniversary in 2016.

Just need to give us the most obscure answer, please.

It's going to be six on the first pass, six on the second.

12 in all to have a go at home. Very best of luck.

OK, so let's reveal our first board of clues.

And here they are.

I'll read all of those again.

There we are. Ellis.

We come to you first.

Yeah.

I only know two and I'm going to go for the one

that I think is the lowest, which is the bottom one,

and say Roald Dahl.

Roald Dahl, says Ellis.

Roald Dahl. Let's see if that's right,

let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

42 for Roald Dahl. APPLAUSE

Born in 1916, Roald Dahl.

So would have been 100 in 2016.

There we are. Thank you. RICHARD MAKES A KNOCKING SOUND

Very good.

-Yeah.

-Good.

-Maths.

-Maths?

-Yeah.

Maths in action.

-There you are.

-My new series.

Oh! I would watch that.

On catch-up, probably.

I'd watch it on +1.

-On, like, 32 speed.

-Yeah.

-"I loved it. Very short."

-LAUGHTER

Anne, what would you like to go for?

I think I've got a good idea about them all,

so it's a case of which I think is the lowest.

So the second one is the Easter Rebellion.

-The Easter Rebellion...

-Yes.

-..says Anne. The Easter Rebellion.

Let's see if that's right, let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

It's right.

13, very well done. APPLAUSE

Good answer, Anne.

13 for the Easter Rebellion.

Yeah, 100 years since the Easter Rising or the Easter Rebellion.

Absolutely.

Or the "Eater Rebellion", as Anne would call it.

LAUGHTER

I was once in one of those cafes when there was...

They weren't happy, I'll tell you that for one thing.

-The Eater Rebellion.

-Yeah.

Oh. "These dough balls are freezing!"

Zoe. This board is all yours.

If you felt like it, you could go through all of those.

The one just above the bottom one, I can kind of get the gist of it,

but I'm not going to go for it just in case it's wrong.

So I'm just going to play it safe

-and go for Shakespeare for the English playwright.

-OK.

Shakespeare says Zoe.

Let's see how safe it is.

It's right. Yes, I feared that might be that safe. 80.

APPLAUSE Well, better than 100.

Yeah, well played to our 100 there.

The 400th anniversary of his death, Shakespeare.

Now let's take a look at the rest of these.

What's that top one, Xander, do you think?

-Cannes.

-It is the Cannes Film Festival.

Would have scored 38 points.

It's going to be the 70th anniversary

of the Cannes Film Festival in 2016.

The society for the top 2% of the population.

-Mensa.

-It is Mensa.

Yes, that's the 70th anniversary as well

and would have scored you 70 points.

I have to say, you know, this top 2% of the population,

it's a bit elitist. What about the other 97% of us?

LAUGHTER

I mean... You know what I mean?

And the name of the Russian?

He is, Yuri...

-He is.

-Guh... Guh-guh... Gens...

Gaga...?

What's he called?

-MULTIPLE PEOPLE:

-Gagarin.

-Gagarin.

-Yuri Gagarin is the right answer.

-Yuri Gagarin, that's the one.

And it's 56 points for that. It's the 55th anniversary of that.

-The traditional 55th anniversary that we always celebrate.

-Ah, yes.

Mm. Thank you very much indeed. OK, so let's look at the scores.

We're halfway through the round.

13, Anne and Barbara, very well done indeed.

Lovely low score there.

Then up to 42, where we find Ellis and Ellen,

and now up to 80. Yeah, Zoe and Alex.

Little bit ahead there.

So, Alex, a nice low score from you might keep you in the game.

We're going to come back down the line now.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

OK, let's put six more clues up on the board.

And here they come.

I'm going to read those all again.

Alex. It's got to be a low scorer.

Yeah, so I know a couple of them that I think would be quite high.

Um...

So I'm going to go one I think might be lower.

So I'm going to go with the Great Fire of London for historic event.

OK, the Great Fire of London, says Alex.

No red line for you, as you're the highest scorers.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said the Great Fire of London.

76.

APPLAUSE

Takes your total up to an unbeatable 156.

Yeah, the 350th anniversary of the Great Fire of London.

Thank you very much indeed. Now, Barbara.

Oh.

I'm not sure about two of them...

..so I think I'll go for the bottom one, which is Concorde.

Concorde, says Barbara.

No red line for you, you're already through.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Concorde.

75.

Takes your total up to 88.

Yeah. Well played, Barbara.

You know, it went 1,350mph, Concorde could fly.

You know it could do London to New York in under three hours?

Isn't that amazing?

It's even faster than you...

-That's really very fast, isn't it?

-That's REALLY fast.

It's like going from London to Liverpool or something.

-Yeah.

-Incredible. There it is.

-It is incredible.

Ellen, what would you like to go for?

You can talk us through the board, if you like.

-Well, I can't.

-LAUGHTER

I mean, I would have guessed...

I know it's Battle of Hastings,

I would've guessed Bobby Charlton, maybe, for the World Cup one,

and maybe the M6 as the top one.

But I'm going to go with Battle of Hastings

-just because I know that one's right.

-OK, well, listen.

-You're through anyway so it doesn't matter.

-Oh.

No red line for that reason. So Battle of Hastings, says Ellen.

Let's see if that's right, let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

65?!

APPLAUSE

Wow. I mean, that...

That scored less than Concorde.

I know, that's ridiculous.

OK, 107 is your total.

-How extraordinary.

-You're not impressed with that?

I would have hoped our 100, a few more of them might have got that.

To be fair, it's 950 years ago. Come on.

LAUGHTER

Let's have a look through the rest of these.

The motorway - it's not the M6.

-M25.

-M25, yep.

Good scorer that - 30 points.

Not Bobby Charlton, but Bobby Moore.

Bobby Moore. That would have scored you 57.

And the city that hosted the first modern Olympics?

-Athens.

-Athens.

And that would have scored 42.

-So the best answer on the board was the M25.

-Wow.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

So, at the end of our second round,

I'm afraid it's Alex and Zoe we're saying goodbye to.

But we will see you again next time.

Thanks very much for playing, Alex and Zoe.

APPLAUSE

But, for the remaining two pairs, it's now time for our head-to-head.

Well, congratulations Ellis and Ellen, Anne and Barbara.

You are now in the head-to-head, one step closer to the final

and a chance to play for our jackpot,

which is still standing at £1,000.

Well, you know the deal here.

This time, you're allowed to confer and the first pair

to win two questions will be playing for that jackpot.

Best of luck to both pairs. Let's play the head-to-head.

OK, here is your first question.

And it is all about...

French Words And Phrases Used In English, Richard?

Yeah, we're going to show you five pictures now which represent

French words which have commonly entered the English language.

We're also going to give you the initial of each word.

Can you tell us what the word is, please?

OK, let's reveal our five phrases.

And here they come.

We've got...

OK. So, Ellis and Ellen, we come to you first.

Feel free to confer.

OK. Well, we know the two most obvious ones on there

but it's better than getting one wrong.

So we're going to go for C, cul-de-sac.

OK. Cul-de-sac, C. Cul-de-sac.

Now then, Anne and Barbara, talk us through that board.

Well A is Vol-au-vent.

B is Art Nouveau.

E is en masse.

We can't get D, which is really irritating.

So we'll go for B.

You're going for Art Nouveau.

-Please.

-B. OK.

So, we have cul-de-sac and we have Art Nouveau.

Ellis and Ellen went for cul-de-sac for C.

Let's see if it's right, let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

It's right.

Quite a high one there. 63 for cul-de-sac.

APPLAUSE

Anne and Barbara, meanwhile, have gone for Art Nouveau for B.

Let's see if that's right,

let's see how many of our 100 people said Art Nouveau.

It's right, and it wins you the point.

Very well done. Art Nouveau, still going down...

to 21!

Which means, after one question, Anne and Barbara, you are up 1-0.

Yeah, well played. Let's take a look at the rest of these.

You're right about vol-au-vent.

Big score, though. Would have scored you 78 points.

They do look nice.

I love that - custard with ham in.

-It's nice, isn't it?

-LAUGHTER

It means flight in the wind, vol-au-vent.

-Yeah, I know.

-Slightly racy.

-You can imagine, after those, couldn't you?

Yeah. LAUGHTER

Now, we'll leave D for a second cos I know you didn't know it.

E is the best answer. You did know that.

En masse, you're right.

-Would have scored 20 points.

-Oh.

Now, you were looking concerned at the board as well.

Were you having trouble with D as well?

Well, I think I've worked out what it is

but why we should have a picture of Trudie Styler eating a salad...

LAUGHTER

-It's simply somebody enjoying their food.

-Oh, I see.

And what do we say when someone enjoys their food?

-ALL:

-Bon appetit.

-Bon appetit.

-You see, I thought it was to do...

-20 points.

I can see she's enjoying it. I can see that.

I thought it was to do with the fact it was all salad based.

-Yes,

-I

-did.

-Oh, did you?

-Cos that's the most delicious food...

-It is.

-..of all, kids.

-Mmm-mmm-mmm.

I tell you what I really love is that really bitter red leaf.

Lollo rosso, is that what that is?

-Steak? No, thank you.

-No, uh-uh. LAUGHTER

Very good indeed. Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

So here comes your second question.

Ellis and Ellen, you have to win this one to stay in the game,

so good luck with that.

Our second question in the head-to-head round today concerns...

Book Characters, Richard?

We're going to show you the first names now,

or commonly used names, of characters in books.

Also going to show you the authors of those books.

You need to tell us the book in which

-these characters first appeared, please.

-OK.

In which books did these characters first appear?

And here is our list of five characters. We have got...

I'm going to read those one last time.

There we are.

Anne and Barbara, you'll go first.

We'll go for number two, The Help.

Number two, The Help. Number two, The Help.

Ellis and Ellen, that board is all yours -

talk us through it if you can.

The top one's Of Mice And Men.

Suzanne Collins is The Hunger Games.

Tiny Tim, the Charles Dickens one is A Christmas Carol.

-And I think we're going to go with the last one...

-Yeah.

..which we think is The Borrowers.

The Borrowers, say Ellis and Ellen.

So, in the order they were given,

we have The Help from Anne and Barbara.

Let's see if that's right,

let's see how people said The Help for the Kathryn Stockett answer.

It's right.

Oh, it's a good answer, as well.

Look at that! 3! APPLAUSE

Very well done indeed.

Ellis and Ellen have gone for The Borrowers

for Hazel, Fiver, Bigwig and Pipkin.

Let's see if that's right and, if it is,

let's see how many people said it.

No, I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry, Ellis and Ellen, that is an incorrect answer,

which means Anne and Barbara, brilliant answer from you,

you win that question and you are straight through to the final, 2-0.

Yes, well played, you did know all the other answers,

but nothing you could have done to beat The Help. Terrific answer.

Great head-to-head, Anne and Barbara, well played.

It's not The Borrowers, it is...?

-Watership Down.

-Watership Down is the answer. Unlucky.

Would have scored you 24 points.

You were right about Of Mice And Men.

At the top there, that would have scored 33.

You were right about The Hunger Games as well,

that would have scored 30.

And, of course, you were right about A Christmas Carol.

And that would have scored 51.

So The Help far and away the best answer there.

-Unbeatable.

-There we are.

Thank you very much indeed. So the pair leaving us

at the end of the head-to-head round,

I'm afraid it's Ellis and Ellen. I'm so sorry.

But what a brilliant show we've had from you this time.

Completely vindicated after last time.

It's been wonderful having you on both shows,

thank you so much for playing. Ellis and Ellen.

APPLAUSE

But, for Anne and Barbara, it's now time for our Pointless final.

Congratulations, Anne and Barbara!

You've seen off all the competition

and you have won our coveted Pointless trophy.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot.

At the end of today's show, the jackpot is standing at £1,000.

There it is. Well, very well done indeed.

To come from behind like that -

you weren't the golden pair in the head-to-head there.

And a very decisive 2-0 win there, fantastic.

The Help was a great answer.

What would you like to come up in this last round?

-Books.

-Books.

-Yeah.

-Words.

OK. Well, as always, you get to choose your category

from the four we put up on the board.

Let's hope you like the look of something up there.

Today's selection is this...

-Oh. US crime... No.

-No. It's got to be...

Has it got to be music?

Do you know anything about music groups that have included spouses?

-No.

-Let's go for that one, then!

-Music Groups That Have Included Spouses?

-Is that OK?

-Because we can guess.

-Yes.

-Well, yes.

-We can always guess.

Can we say "The Beatles" for all of them?

You can do what you like.

-But the questions we're going to put in front of you...

-Right.

..will be music groups that included spouses, OK?

OK, we're looking for any UK top 40 single up to December 2015, please,

by any of the following groups, no solo efforts or anything like that,

but by these groups, double A-sides will count as separate answers.

Three very different bands there -

Wings, New Order, White Stripes.

And that is according to officialcharts.com.

Very best of luck.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

Now, as always, you've got up to one minute to come up with three answers

and all you need to win that jackpot

is for just one of those answers to be pointless.

-Are you ready?

-Yes.

We're putting 60 seconds up on the clock.

There they are. Your time starts now.

Mull Of Kintyre?

We've got to say Barbara Ann, haven't we,

-even though we know it's wrong?

-Yes.

-We've got to say Barbara Ann.

What else did Wings do?

-We've got 47 seconds left, Barbara, come on.

-47 seconds!

Um, what was that...?

-New Order.

-I can tell you who the spouse was in Wings,

but that's not going to help.

I don't know who New Order is.

And I've only heard of The White Stripes.

What's a really silly single that they would hate to sing?

-And we can embarrass them.

-What, Wings?

There's No-One Quite Like Grandma?

No. No, that's terrible.

How about I've Got A Brand-new Combine Harvester?

Good one. Let's have that one.

And I think we should have that famous, famous record,

Alexander And Richard.

-No.

-Don't you think?

-Yes, that's right.

-Or Richard And Alexander?

Or we could have them both.

Richard And Alexander sounds nicer. The other way round.

-Yes.

-Two seconds, this is rubbish.

-Alexander And Richard.

-Your time is now up.

LAUGHTER There we are.

I now need your three answers,

and if you could say which group sang these..."songs".

Mull of Kintyre by Wings.

-Mull of Kintyre.

-Which we know is right.

Barbara Ann by New Order.

Barbara Ann by New Order.

Alexander And Richard Sing The Smurfs.

Yes, Alexander And Richard Sing The Smurfs.

-That's our final answer.

-LAUGHTER

And who wrote...? Who is that by?

-The White Stripes.

-The White Stripes.

By The White Stripes - Alexander And Richard Sing The Smurfs. OK.

Of those three answers... LAUGHTER

..er, which do you think is your best shot at a pointless answer?

-I think it's Alexander and Richard.

-I think so.

OK, Alexander And Richard Sing The Smurfs,

we'll put that last, shall we?

Least likely to be pointless?

-Mull of Kintyre.

-I think, yeah,

someone would have got that, wouldn't they?

Mull of Kintyre, we'll put first.

OK, well, let's pop those answers up on the board in that order, then.

Here they are. We have got...

Looks good.

It looks good up there.

I've never meant this more, but best of luck.

LAUGHTER

What would you do if you won that?

What if one of these songs...

..turns out to have been a top 40 hit for one of these bands

and you win 1,000 quid? What would you do with your spoils?

Anne, you first.

First of all, I'd probably need some medical attention.

And then I'd have piano lessons.

Very good. Barbara?

I'd put it towards a power pack

so that I don't have to be tweaked all the time in this chair.

Very good indeed.

Very good. Well, very best of... BEST of luck.

Let's find out if any of these are right.

Um, Mull Of Kintyre. Mull Of Kintyre by Wings.

Remember, in this case, we were looking for Wings UK top 40 singles.

This is your least confident answer.

Only one of them has to be pointless for you to win.

Let's find out how many of our 100 people,

for the jackpot of £1,000, said Mull of Kintyre.

It's right.

Down it goes through the 50s, through the 40s, into the 30s.

35. 35 for Mull of Kintyre. APPLAUSE

Not a bad answer.

Not a pointless answer, though. Two more shots at today's jackpot.

Your next answer was Barbara Ann.

In this case, we were looking for New Order top 40 singles.

If it's right and if it goes down to zero, it will win you £1,000.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Barbara Ann for new Order.

Ah!

-Should've been Anne Barbara.

-It should've been.

Of the two remaining answers,

that was the most likely one to have been the surprise,

but I'm afraid that has been cruelly ripped away from us.

Which means you only have one more chance to win today's jackpot.

Everything is now riding...

on Alexander And Richard Sing The Smurfs by The White Stripes.

OK. This was your most confident answer.

Let's find out if you're going to win the jackpot of £1,000 with this.

Has to be pointless, obviously, if that's going to happen.

Alexander And Richard Sing The Smurfs.

Is it pointless?

No.

Ah, well, there we are.

Well...

..I have to say, faced with a nigh-on impossible board,

-you did very, very well indeed.

-Thank you.

-A brave attempt.

Unfortunately, you didn't find that all-important pointless answer,

so I'm afraid you don't win today's jackpot of £1,000.

That will roll over to the next time,

but it has been brilliant having you on the show,

you've been wonderful contestants

and a really decisive and impressive win in the head-to-head round.

So very well done.

And you get a Pointless trophy to take home each, so very well done.

-Anne and Barbara, everyone.

-Thank you. Thank you.

APPLAUSE

Unlucky. Of course, Alexander And Richard Sing The Smurfs

was famously by The Blue Stripes.

-Oh!

-It's gutting, isn't it?

Now, I know people at home

will definitely have got pointless answers here.

Big pointless answers for all three groups,

so if you're a fan of any of these groups,

I think you would have walked away with the money.

Let's take a look at them. Wings, we will start with.

Also, Mull of Kintyre had a double A-side very famously

with Girls' School and that was a pointless answer as well.

So very well done if you said that.

Also could have had Hi, Hi, Hi, Helen Wheels, My Love

and Old Siam, Sir. All of those pointless answers -

well done if you said any of those.

New Order now.

Some big New Order songs here.

In fact, every single New Order top 40 hit apart from Blue Monday,

True Faith, Regret and Temptation -

every single other one was a pointless answer,

so if you said any of the others, you would have won the money.

The White Stripes. A wonderful band, The White Stripes,

six pointless answers here.

The other two answers you could've had -

Dead Leaves And The Dirty Ground and You Don't Know What Love Is.

Very well done if you got any of those at home.

You've been brilliant throughout the whole show,

sorry the jackpot round was not to your taste,

-but great having you here.

-Thank you.

-Thanks very much, Richard.

Unfortunately, we have to say goodbye to you, Anne and Barbara,

but to echo what Richard says, it's been wonderful having you on.

Thank you so much for playing. Anne and Barbara!

APPLAUSE

Well, sadly, Anne and Barbara didn't win our jackpot today,

so it rolls over onto the next show, when we will be playing for £2,000.

CHEERING

Join us then to see if someone can win it.

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

And it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.