Episode 10 The Graham Norton Show

Tonight on the show, one of the new stars of Top Gear. Now, Matt,

I've brought along my new Porsche 918 Spyder. What do you think?

-Ooh! Very nice.

-Tell you what, why don't you take it for a ride?

-See how it feels.

-Yeah?

-Get behind the wheel. Do it, do it.

Go on, go on, go on. DO IT!

LAUGHTER

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Let's start the show!

Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh, thank you very much!

Thank you. Thank you, thank you.

Welcome one. Welcome all. Lovely to see you all.

We've got some great guests for you tonight.

Matt LeBlanc's here from the new revamped Top Gear. CHEERING

Yeah!

Very excited about that. And I'm told you can look forward to

seeing all your favourite bits from the old Top Gear.

Well, except for the casual racism and assaulting the producers.

They've binned that.

We've also got one of the biggest stars of the hit Game Of Thrones.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Oh, yeah.

A few Throners in. She's not one.

She was like, "What? What's he talking about?"

Plus, later we'll have music from the wonderful Corinne Bailey Rae.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Yeah! We love her. She's very good.

All right, let's get some guests on!

First up, this man's breakout role in The History Boys

took him to the West End to the big screen, where he starred in

Mamma Mia, the Need For Speed and now the epic Warcraft: The Beginning.

It is Dominic Cooper!

-There's Dominic Cooper!

-Wow!

-I know!

They love you. They love you.

Just there. Just on it.

This British actress has starred in a range of films from Much Ado About Nothing to Pearl Harbor,

and is the ass-kicking heroine of the Underworld franchise.

Now she's here with a new Jane Austen adaptation,

Love & Friendship, it's Kate Beckinsale.

Oh! Wow! Oh!

Like a princess. Hello, darling. It's been a very long time!

It's been ages. Hello!

For the last five years, this actress has enjoyed worldwide fame

as Khaleesi in the hit TV series Game Of Thrones.

Now she's back on the big screen in the new romantic weepy

Me Before You. Sweet Mother of Dragons, it's Emilia Clarke!

-Oh!

-Hi!

-Hello!

-Hello!

-Hi.

-How are you?

Lovely to see you. Sit down.

All shove up a bit. All shove up a bit. Yeah, do.

And we first fell in love with this man as Joey from Friends,

after which he won a Golden Globe for his hilarious portrayal as himself in Episodes.

Now he's revving up to be the new presenter of Top Gear,

please welcome back to the show Matt LeBlanc!

Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah!

How you doing? Nice to see you.

I actually just said that.

I know...!

-Sit down, sit down, sit down!

-Hello!

-How are you?

Sitty down. Sitty down.

-I think you can all shove up a bit.

-Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

-Shall we?

-Yes, it looks like a game of two halves.

-OK.

-Poor Dominic...

-I'm hitting the dangly bit down there.

-Oh, don't do that!

-Very good.

Very good. You look like you've just been to a showbiz funeral.

We feel desperately ill.

Now, Emilia Clarke, did you get to chat with everyone backstage?

-Erm, yeah, kind of.

-Did you get to talk to him?

-Yeah, kind of...

# Emilia Clarke loves Matt LeBlanc! #

Hi! Hi! Actually blushing.

Yeah, I just think you're wicked!

Aww!

It's a game of two halves.

I think Dominic's wicked. Baby in the corner.

But actually, now, is it your daughter...

-I'm sure YOU like Matt LeBlanc too, Kate...

-Hugely.

-..but your daughter is quite the fan.

-Huge fan.

She's a big Friends obsessive. She could go on Master... Are you?

Yes.

Avidly.

Dominic, do you have a relative, a friend who's a fan of Matt's?

Oh, many. Many, many, many.

I think my mum would pass out now

if she knew I was sitting here with you. And I'm obsessed with

the new job you've got, which I really, really wanted.

-Oh, yeah?

-I shouldn't have said that out loud, should I?

-I mean, it's the best job in the world.

-Working in the coffee shop?

-The other one, the new one.

-Top Gear.

And are you returning the favour? Do you watch Game Of Thrones, Matt?

I've watched it the first season, and then I kind of fell out of it,

-and I tried to watch it this season...

-That's OK, that's OK.

I don't know what's going on, I can't keep up.

-There's lots of stuff going on, yeah.

-There's so much going on.

There is, there really is. It's OK. It's all right.

I could lie, but I don't want to lie on the camera.

No, no, no. You've seen the good bits, you've seen the first season.

Is it all downhill from there?

-What is it? It's season six now.

-It's season six!

-And it's bigger than ever.

-Yeah.

-AUDIENCE MEMBER LAUGHS

Whose laugh is that?

That seriously sounds like a chicken has been released in the studio.

-It's not a real laugh.

-It can't be. No.

-I was going to stop

because I thought there was a mechanical fault with something.

But that's a human being.

Oh, it's that man there. Oh, right.

Well, I'm glad you're having a nice time.

Yuck it up!

I will watch, I promise.

No, I know. I do have one slight request from you though.

-What's that?

-So, would you be able to ask me how I'm doing?

-KATE:

-Oh, yes, do that.

-CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

You can say no. Everyone will hate you, but you can say no.

No... Yes.

Well, since I haven't been up to speed on the show, I will say...

-Thank you.

-..how YOU doin'?

-I caught that from back here.

-It works!

-Yes, it did.

What was really embarrassing is when Matt walked out, I went,

"How you doing?" And then I was like, "Oh, shut up.

"What are you doing?"

But, now, I don't want to depress, Kate Beckinsale, but you know

the last time we sat and chatted on a show, that was 15 years ago.

-That's a long time.

-Isn't it, though?

Was it the show that you had, where...sometimes you'd have someone

phone up and play the recorder with their vagina?

-Yeah, that kind of thing.

-I loved that show.

-You should bring that back.

-But was it something I said...

-What?!

I know, I'm confused. I'm really confused.

Game Of Thrones is missing a trick there.

-That was a lovely idea.

-But then you went to America right after that

and never came back, really, did you?

I did come back a bit, but I did get stranded there

because my daughter's in school there, so I'm sort of having to see

that out until she finishes and then I can leave.

Now, here's the thing, you look at Kate Beckinsale, you kind of think,

you know, a model of sophisticated woman. I imagine you just travelling

with a small little holdall, but you travel with something...

I didn't believe this but I now DO believe it.

You travel with something - and is it to cheer you up

you travel with this item?

-Yes.

-OK, tell the people what you travel with.

A pantomime horse costume.

She's not making this up.

You've said this... You actually... So...

Me too(!)

Is it both halves?

Yes, it's a two-man suit.

So you find a friend? You always have to find a friend.

Yes, you can't do it on your own, that's bleak.

So, on what occasions do you kind of go, "OK, time for the horse"?

Well, if you're on a film and you're in Eastern Europe

and you thought your friend was going to come and visit you

and they're like, "Sorry, I can't, my kid's got tonsillitis,"

or whatever it is, and you think, "Shit, what am I going to do?

"I could have a pop into the horse and a bit of a canter up and down the hotel corridor."

Which end do you prefer?

Well, it's height dependent, there's horse rules,

so the tallest person... No, there are.

The tallest person has to be the back.

-I would've thought the other way round.

-Well, no.

-No, because then you can have a long horse's back.

-Oh, of course.

It won't look stunted.

-You don't want a lumpy, short person in the back.

-No, of course.

You've sent us some pictures. Is this your earliest horse?

That was my first horse.

But that was a rental, that was my first time I ever rented one.

-You paid for that?!

-Yes.

It looks like you've made it out of some car seat covers.

Well, they're not very realistic. They're not the most realistic

but yes, I paid for that and you had to have it for three days.

It was a bit oppressive, we had to keep getting in it.

-So then did you purchase this next one?

-No, that was also a rental.

That's my daughter looking terrified.

-And is Mummy front or back of that horse?

-I think that's back.

-I think I'm back there.

-Are they good fun to be in?

-Oh, I've got it in the hotel.

-We must have a go.

-Do you want to?

-Yes, I'd love to.

-I have actually got it here.

And we've then got your latest... Is this the one you've brought with you?

No, that's actually me and Michael Sheen. He's in the rabbit suit.

I can't remember why we were doing that at a bus stop, but...

Or indeed ANYWHERE.

This sounds so crazy!

Am I the only one that thinks it's crazy? I love it but it's crazy!

Do you want to have a go in it?

-Yeah, I want to go in it.

-I can make that happen.

-Let's go.

You're so smiley, you do look like an ad for panto horse therapy.

It's like, "Feeling blue...?"

It does really work. Most people haven't tried it so they don't know.

-Yeah.

-But if you're in a hotel, walking down the hall

and you see a horse costume coming the other way...

in what world do you say, "I bet that's Kate Beckinsale"?

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

Oh, dear. Matt LeBlanc. Matt LeBlanc.

Presumably, hosting Top Gear is like your dream job.

Yeah, it's kind of like this... It's a lot bigger than I thought it was.

You know, when I first the show, it was fun and then...

Now, being a part of it,

it is just an international juggernaut of a show.

It's sold in what, 170 territories or countries or something.

Yeah, so it premieres this Sunday,

and by Wednesday it'll be in 83 countries on six continents, I read.

-By Wednesday.

-Wow.

-It's just huge.

-And how did this happen?

Did you call them, did they call you,

did you bump into someone in a lift? How does it happen?

Well, I did it the first time to promote Episodes

and did the track in the car and that went pretty good.

-Well, you were the fastest ever, weren't you?

-Yeah.

-Wow.

-Are you still the fastest ever?

-No.

And then they did this thing called Top Gear - The Races,

which was kind of like a greatest hits of Top Gear

and I kind of introduced the clips, shot these little video wraparounds,

and that went good and then Chris was already on board at that point

and they approached me and asked if I would like to be a part of it

and I wasn't doing anything else. I said, "Yeah."

It's been a lot of fun. Chris and I get along good, it's really fun.

And you are a proper petrolhead.

I mean, you do love cars and engines and all that stuff.

Yeah, you know, it's funny. I'm one of those people,

I subscribe to about 15 different car magazines.

You go to my house, the coffee table is just stacked up...

Forever I've been doing that, and someone said to me the other day,

"Finally, it's paying off, all those subscriptions." Who knew?

You were preparing for this job your whole life.

And the first episode, part of it is a kind of Britain versus America challenge.

Yes, that's right.

-So what's the challenge?

-OK, so do you know the Reliant Robin?

-Remember that car?

-Oh. There they are.

Well, these are Reliant Rialtos, the upgraded one, which...

I don't know what they changed, it's still not a very nice car.

-I've never heard of a Rialto. Anyone?

-The Reliant Robin you've heard of.

It was made famous by Only Fools And Horses, wasn't it?

-He had a little van, didn't he?

-No, he had one of those, didn't he?

-But it was a van...

-A van version. Oh, they've got an open roof.

They've cut the roofs off of those because it was going to be raining,

-so they figured better to have no roof.

-Yes. It's Britain!

So we had to drive from London to Blackpool in those.

-Nice.

-Mine broke down about ten times.

I think Chris had it fixed, because it's USA versus the UK

and we're in English cars.

His is painted like the Union Jack, mine's Stars and Stripes,

and mine breaks down repeatedly, his ran like a clock.

Go figure.

And had Matt LeBlanc ever been to Blackpool?

-No, he hadn't.

-LAUGHTER

-Will Matt LeBlanc be returning?

-Er...he might.

No, you know, we actually had a really good time.

And then you went back to my neck of the woods.

You were in southern Ireland, West Cork and Kerry.

Yeah, the Ring of Kerry, Dingle and Killarney and all that.

We did a thing with a Rolls-Royce over there, that was really fun.

Wow. And was this woman... Was she just taking a picture

and you literally drove by?

She was with her girlfriend

-and they were on their way to her hen do, you call it?

-Hen do, yeah.

A bachelorette party we call it in the States.

And we were driving up the road, it was me

in the new Rolls-Royce Dawn, the convertible, and Chris Evans was in

his Rolls-Royce Corniche from '76,

and there was a comparison, old and new,

and we were kind of at a red light, I think it was in Dingle, and they

were walking and they came over - "Hey!" And they just took a selfie.

She put it on Twitter or something, social media, whatever it was.

You look genuinely happy.

She had a very short skirt.

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

If I must be honest.

You looked suspiciously happy!

More of a belt than a skirt.

It was her hen do. It was her hen do.

Listen, the new season of Top Gear begins this Sunday on BBC Two

at eight o'clock. Let's have a little taste.

This is you in Morocco trying out a thing called an

Ariel Nomad, is that what it's called?

Yeah, there's a British company called Ariel that made

a very famous car called the Atom, a really fast, quick, small car,

and now this is the off-road version of it, the Nomad, which was a blast to drive. You wanna see this.

This thing hauls ass.

0 to 60...

takes just 3.4 seconds.

And unless your other car is a superbike,

or a cheetah with a saddle on it, that ought to be enough.

This is not off-roading. This...is low-level flight.

Wow.

Yeah, pretty fun. It's a pretty fun job, I gotta say.

Yeah, it was quick. It's just a Honda Civic engine,

but it's light. Really light.

Now, Emilia Clarke. Emilia Clarke brings to the screen one of the most

successful romantic novels of recent times, it was a huge, huge hit.

-Me Before You by Jojo Mayes...Moyes.

-Moyes.

It opens next Friday, the 3rd of June, and it's everything you want -

it's romantic, it's sweet and it's funny, but it is also very sad.

-It is...

-It is very sad. It is, yes. It's a big box of Kleenex sad.

-Sad.

-Sad.

-All right, Matt. Sad.

-Sad.

Sad, dammit! Yes, sad.

Did she take this story from life, Jojo...?

-She was inspired by real events, yes.

-OK.

-So you play a carer, or a woman who becomes a carer.

-I do. I do, yes.

Without any skills at all.

Can't relate to that at all. No way.

She's looking for a job and then this is the job that she gets,

being a carer for Will Trainer, who happens to be a quadriplegic.

And they are two completely different people from totally

different worlds, who are kind of forced into this

environment together and they erm... Love ensures.

It is very sweet, but God, it is a box of tissues...

Yeah, it really is.

-Sounds hysterical.

-You'd love it, yeah.

But actually it does have lots of laughs in it.

There's lots of funny along the way.

-Yeah, there is. There's lots of funny.

-Then it just kicks you in the balls.

Pretty much. Right when you're laughing, we'll just make you cry.

-And it's a date movie...

-Yeah.

-..you want to go on a date to it.

So, how do you pitch it so that you don't want it to be

so upsetting that you can't have sex afterwards?

-No, exactly. You need consoling.

-Yes, you need...

-Another box of tissues.

-LAUGHTER

-I didn't say that.

-No, you did not say that.

That's not how to sell this film.

But I heard you saying in interviews that this character is

the closest to yourself you've ever played.

Yeah. In that I'm not really like Khaleesi. Sorry!

"Mother of Dragons!"

Yes. "Hello!"

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

The truth.

Thank you.

"Hello!"

Yes, I'm much closer to Lou, definitely.

-Sam Claflin plays your love interest...

-Yes.

-..in the thing.

And the clip we have, this is you and Sam in a kind of...

You've gone to the wedding of his ex.

Ex-girlfriend who's just married his best friend.

Oooh! I know. Oooh!

So this is the two of them at the wedding,

but romance is starting to blossom.

And what do you say? You gonna give me a whirl?

-What? How many of those did you drink?

-Come on,

-let's give these tossers something to talk about.

-All right.

-Are they all appalled?

-Yes.

-SHE GIGGLES

-Yeah.

Move closer. You smell fantastic.

You know you never would have let those breasts so near to me

if I wasn't in a wheelchair.

Yeah, well, you never would've been LOOKING at these breasts if you hadn't been in a wheelchair.

-Of course I would.

-No, you wouldn't.

You would've been too busy looking at the leggy blondes,

the ones you can smell an expense account at 40 paces.

And anyway, I would've been over there serving the drinks,

one of the invisibles. Am I right?

Yes, but in my defence...

-I WAS an arse.

-Yep.

Do you know something, Clark,

you are pretty much the only thing that makes me want to get up in the morning.

Aww!

Thank you. Thanks.

And what I like is - so you're making this film, which is romantic,

it is very sad, but you did keep things kind of light on set.

We tried, yes. First of all I planted a fart machine in his wheelchair

but that only got... You could see it, basically. It wasn't very good.

-Boo!

-Boo!

-That's a great one though.

Planting the fart machine is a good one. I'm a big fan of that one.

-Good! Yay! Totally brilliant.

-I carry one with me to sets too.

Yeah, exactly!

You know where it's good is if it's a scene in the kitchen,

and they have the range hood, you know those big metal hoods?

You stick it up in there with tape

and when someone's at the stove cooking...

It really echoes. That's great.

I'm going to borrow that! I'm going to borrow that.

But in terms of sort of prank stories on the sofa,

I doubt anyone can top Kate Beckinsale's.

This is such a genius prank, and I sort of hate asking you to tell it,

because I would so like to do it to someone and this will spoil it.

Go. SHE SIGHS

OK. It was a very impromptu one, because I'd been...

If somebody falls asleep next to me,

it's dangerous because I like to glue beards to them

or draw tattoos or whatever it is -

Pirates Of The Caribbean beard, all that -

and I'd run out of things like that,

and yet I was still after the rush of doing it.

So I got into bed

and I think I'd got one of those little chocolates that you

get by the bed, and I thought, "How funny would it be if I just

"tucked it in between the person's buttocks while they were asleep?"

LAUGHTER

And it was really funny.

Because...

Isn't that so good? It's so good!

And it just sort of came very organically -

my eyes fell on the chocolate and I kind of did that... I see

the sleeping bottom here,

and then I thought, "I'm just going to do it,"

and I tucked it in, and I thought maybe I'd get in trouble in the

morning, but it was a very fortuitous day, because

this was the morning where the person was in a terrible rush

and just went straight into the pants and the trousers and straight to work,

which wouldn't normally happen,

so halfway through the day at work, there was the...

LAUGHTER

And then a bit of a scuttle backwards to the loo,

and then the horror, horror, horror -

"I've done this without even feeling it."

Absolutely brilliant.

-That is so good!

-That is so horrible.

"It smells so minty!"

I didn't know it was going to go that far. I thought it was just going to be the morning,

but it just sort of unfurled so well.

Who was it just sleeping next to you, surely a friend of some description?

Oh, yes, it wasn't just someone I didn't know.

-Did you feel bad?

-No, I was absolutely thrilled.

-Did you not like them?

-I love them dearly...

-"Love them dearly"?!

But I thought I was going to have the thing in the morning of,

"Oh, Kate, you've put chocolate in my bottom." I thought...

-How big was the piece of chocolate?

-It wasn't a Toblerone...

LAUGHTER

It was very small...

LAUGHTER

-Was it Fruit and Nut?

-No, it wasn't anything like that!

Did the person...

-Did other people notice the stain?

-You're very disturbed by this.

-I am.

-It wasn't UP it, it was just tucked...

-No, I know.

LAUGHTER

But it was only for their benefit...

It was their shock, not others who were behind them to see

the results of their...

No, because they had on trousers AND pants.

-But it might have been nuzzled up the top.

-No.

No, cos I placed it very carefully, centrally...

-LAUGHTER

-Centrally? Central placement?

-Central placement -

-you don't want it to fall out in the night.

-You don't.

Anyway, the thing about chocolate is, in the night,

between a pair of buttocks,

-it's going to just sort of soften up.

-Yeah.

-Was it nutty?

-No!

-What's the matter with him?

-LAUGHTER

What's the matter with ME?!

What's the matter with ME?! You've been stuffing chocolate in buttocks.

Dominic, have you shat yourself, and now you're thinking, "Maybe...

"maybe somebody shoved some chocolate in my ass"?

APPLAUSE DROWNS SPEECH

APPLAUSE DROWNS SPEECH

Oh, dear. Now, another film, ladies and gentlemen.

This is Kate Beckinsale, and it is a rare thing.

This is a Jane Austen story that has

never been filmed before.

Love & Friendship opens tonight.

Cos you kind of think, "Oh, it's never been filmed before.

"This probably is a bit pants."

But it's SO great. You know what I mean?

-"Well, how come? They've done everything, why not this one?"

-Yes.

And it's so great and funny, and it's... I loved it.

-Oh, thank you.

-Why has this not been filmed before?

I think just because it was an unpublished novella

that she hadn't finished, and it's in epistolary form - it's letters.

And that's quite difficult to adapt, I think,

because the whole point of being in a scene is that you're in

the same room, and the whole point of letters is that you're not.

So I think people probably just went, "Oh, I've never heard of it,

-"I'm a bit tired," and didn't do it.

-LAUGHTER

And it's called Lady Susan...?

Yes. The real novella is called Lady Susan.

That title was given by her nephew 40, 50 years after she died,

so we weren't wedded to it.

-And you are, of course, Lady Susan?

-I am.

-Yeah, what's it about? You.

-Yeah.

LAUGHTER

"What's the film about? It's all about me."

So tell us about Lady Susan. Cos she IS an extraordinarily...

-Naughty person?

-Well, a kind of contemporary character -

it's extraordinary that she was a character written back then.

Yeah. I mean, that's what's amazing about it.

She's very single-minded in terms of going after what she wants.

And she wants, you know,

basically, other people's husbands,

boyfriends - you know, things like that.

And a certain amount of financial freedom, which means she has to

marry somebody rich, and hopefully not very clever, so she can spend...

You know. She sort of cruises through society

being kind of naughty and funny.

And it is genuinely funny.

I've been to quite a few screenings where you can see that

husbands have been dragged there, begging not to go.

Cos it seems like... You know, it's a Jane Austen movie.

And then they're belly-laughing throughout it.

So that's been really satisfying, seeing that happen.

But also it's that thing where, even now,

some of the things she does...

they're genuinely shocking.

Yeah, and I was at a screening in San Francisco full of

very cool people and liberal-type people,

who've have seen some shit, you know?

Not just chocolate buttons?

No, exactly - real, actual shit.

LAUGHTER

And they were watching the screening,

and there was a lot of gasping.

And I thought, "These people can download any

"type of porn that they want at the touch of a button, and they're

"in a movie that was written hundreds of years ago going,

"'She never!'" Which I thought was really, actually, quite nice,

it meant nice things about humans.

Listen, we've got a clip. This is you as Lady Susan,

and you're out with your co-conspirator,

played by Chloe Sevigny.

-Is it "Sev-in-yee"?

-I think so. I wing it...to be honest.

LAUGHTER

-I've known her for so long, I can't ask.

-You just call her Chloe.

-I do, I do, Chloe, yeah.

Cos it's been... I worked with her 18 years ago,

and I've left it too long to say,

"Sorry, how do I pronounce your last name?" I can't do that.

Yeah. We'll clip this and send it to her.

LAUGHTER

-Save you the trouble.

-Yeah.

-So this is the two of you in...

-OK.

The fallacy of youth.

Isn't it rather clear that it is we, women of decision,

who hold the trumps?

-MAN:

-Lady Susan?

Lady Susan Vernon?

How dare you address me, sir!

-But, Lady Susan...

-Begone, sir, or I will have you whipped.

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

Outrageous! Have you never met him?

No, I know him well - I would never speak to a stranger like that.

APPLAUSE

Now, Kate, you did a really sweet thing recently.

This is very sweet.

Your daughter, she's 17 now?

-Yes.

-Lily?

-Lily, yes.

And like all new parents, you took a really sweet picture when she was born.

That's you and your partner

at the time, dad, Michael Sheen.

And there's Lily in there. And then for her...

was it her 17th birthday?

-No, she was 16, it was last year.

-Oh, last year?

And there's a very big pressure to buy your child

a car on their 16th birthday, which I totally disapprove of

so I thought, "Let's do something else, sort of crafty."

-MATT:

-Cheaper?

-Yeah. So you did

a lovely re-creation of that picture.

LAUGHTER

-She steals it.

-She does, really.

-She really does. DOMINIC:

-You don't look any different.

But now, you're not the first people to do this,

cos people do do this thing of recreating baby photographs.

For instance, we found this one on the web.

There's a lady with her little newborn baby.

Now, let's just wind the clock on 20 years...

LAUGHTER

-MATT:

-A good opportunity for some candy.

-Absolutely.

Oh, yeah.

Get that chocolate in.

That's a chocolate button candidate if ever I saw one.

This is very sweet -

here's two little boys in the bath.

So there they are.

And again, let's just

fast forward about 20 years.

LAUGHTER

Now, that is Rich and Joe Luxton.

And actually, Rich and Joe Luxton are here tonight.

So where are they? Oh, there they are.

Look at them. Aw.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Now, you guys did loads of these.

Yeah, loads.

So why did you do so many?

It was a calendar for our mum.

We didn't have any money for Christmas presents.

Hearts are breaking all over the country.

Best sons ever.

Is your mum here?

-Here she is.

-Oh, there's Mum. Hi, Mum.

-Hello.

Hi! Aw.

What a lovely, cheap gift that was for you(!)

LAUGHTER

Are they naked every month?

They're not naked every month, we've got some more.

The attention to detail, boys, is very impressive.

Here they are as little toddlers,

curled up in bed.

Look, see?

And again, here they are recreating that.

LAUGHTER

APPLAUSE

We can't show them all.

So which one of you is this?

-That's me.

-That's you?

That little girl's me, yeah.

Cos that is quite the fashion statement for a young boy.

-Blame Mum.

-Oh, was that your idea, Mum?

No, he just... He liked a bow.

You always wanted a girl.

We won't dwell - it's fine.

Wear a bow. And here he is recreating it.

LAUGHTER

Beautiful. Well done, Rich and Joe and their mum.

Good sons. Very good sons.

Now, Dominic Cooper.

Dominic Cooper brings us a big fantasy epic.

Warcraft - The Beginning

is out on Monday, the 30th of May.

Now, I - cos I'm old - I had no idea how popular...

I'd seen the ads for Warcraft, the video game,

but I'd no idea how huge it is.

-It's a global phenomenon, this thing.

-I think it is, yeah.

-Oh, did you not know either?

-No, I had no idea either, no.

Terrifying. Apparently millions and millions of people

sit in their homes playing it on a daily basis.

Which is terrifying in itself.

But yeah, it's a game that...

I'm still not sure what you do in it, cos I don't play it,

but we made the film version of it, which is this.

-Yes.

-Well explained, or not? No.

But from watching the film, it seems like it is a whole world.

I mean, it's a universe of kind of

different interconnected...

Beings from different places, yeah.

I think...

I loved the script when I first read it, and I didn't have any

idea of the landscape, or the world in which it existed.

Duncan Jones was the director who made Moon and...

Source Code - two really great films

that I loved - and he...

-Is he David Bowie's son?

-David Bowie's son, yeah. And he's a genius,

he's a really great, great director.

So he sort of introduced me to this world and what it meant to people.

And the storyline itself, there's

a lot of motion capture in the film.

So there's a lot of different beings from different planets

and then there's humans - I'm playing a human.

But it was very interesting

seeing that development in the technology.

Well, we've got some of the trailer for Warcraft - The Beginning,

and this gives you an idea of the scale of this thing.

Our world is dying.

There is nothing to go back to.

If we do not unite, our world will perish.

This doesn't need to happen.

There is one who may help us.

There could be.

-Why are you here?

-To save our people.

Can we trust him?

They're beasts.

They should all be destroyed.

Side with the humans...

..against your own kind.

-This is suicide.

-We have no choice.

We should attack with full force.

Whatever you plan to do, do it now!

HE ROARS

APPLAUSE

-MATT:

-That looks good.

Thanks, Matt.

-Unrecognisable. MATT:

-Yeah.

And I guess this is one of these things where,

obviously it's an acting job, but there is something else -

you are joining a franchise.

You know - does part of your mind think, "Oh, well,

"if nothing else happens, I can go to a Warcraft

"convention in 20 years and get a bag of cash and go home"?

Yes, apparently that does happen,

I'm quite looking forward to that, cos that may happen.

That's the dream.

Matt's like, "That's the dream."

I've no idea what you're talking about(!)

Because Emilia, you're in Game Of Thrones, which is everywhere.

-It's like a Top Gear, it's in every country.

-Or Friends.

Or Friends. But I believe your parents, Emilia, were a bit worried,

because you didn't have that much to do in the first few episodes?

-No. No, yes, yes.

-LAUGHTER

So there's some episodes that maybe they're like,

"No, it was great, but you're not really on very much, are you?"

But then I did encourage them to watch the last...

not this last episode, but the episode before.

Which, in hindsight, might have been not the episode to choose.

-Because there was a LOT of you in that episode.

-There was a little bit, mm-hm.

-Yes, there was.

-Yes.

-That might be the episode to dip into, Matt.

-There we go.

It's a solid place to start.

I can REALLY see how you're doin'.

LAUGHTER

-Oh, my God!

-CHEERING

Obviously we've just got a faraway shot,

-but the camera did go right in there. KATE:

-In where?!

-Did you watch it with your parents?

-Let's keep it clean...

No, no, I mean...

-Did you watch it WITH your parents?

-Yes.

LAUGHTER

-Cos that IS quite eggy...

-Little bit.

Did you have to leave the room, or did you all just sit there

and just kind of go, "OK, we're watching this"?

I think I probably started talking about something really important.

Like Top Gear.

And of course, Kate, you're in the Underworld franchise,

which presumably taps into a similar fanbase?

Yes. But we're quite lucky because ours wasn't based on a video game

or a remake or a comic book, or anything like that so

they're not allowed to say...

-"You've got it wrong"?

-Yes, exactly.

Because we made it up.

Because how hard was that for you to get into, kind of, action mode?

Well, quite hard.

Because up until that point in time

there hadn't been a Chiswick-based superhero...

LAUGHTER

..so I feel good about actually making one.

-Um, and in...

-MATT:

-Pranking...

-A pranking superhero.

And was it on Total Recall, then,

you had the unfortunate thing with Colin Farrell?

Oh, yes. Yes.

Cos I had this fight with him, which involved...

There was a sort of...a sort of vagina slam to the face,

-let's just say what it is.

-Yeah.

-Don't want to be weird about it.

-LAUGHTER

We could've talked around that for some time.

LAUGHTER DROWNS SPEECH

I just thought I wasn't going to hedge,

-cos I think that makes it creepy.

-Yeah.

So...so I was on the floor in a sort of shiny-ish trouser,

and my legs were open and I had to sort of slide towards him in...you know, like

a Dirty Dancing sort of way - but a mean Dirty Dancing way

and sort of, chin him in the face with my...area...

LAUGHTER

..which is tough as iron.

LAUGHTER

-And er... Anyway, on the way over...

-What's tough as iron?

-Well, it must be, cos he was knocked out afterwards.

-Wow.

-Damn!

-There's a lot going on...

So anyway, we'd practised it with the stunt people, and then on the first take we did

it was very early on in the shooting and people were still...

You know, nobody was yet sort of chummy.

And I went zooming towards...

It's embarrassing enough zooming towards somebody you don't

know that well with your iron vagina...

And my shoe made a really

very realistic farty noise all the way there.

His face was so horrified, because he was bracing enough

-for the vagina coming towards him but them it was kind of going...

-SHE MAKES FARTING NOISE

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

Did you ever tell him?

Immediately, but then, you know, as soon as you start saying

"It was my shoe, it was my shoe" everyone thinks, "It wasn't her shoe."

I love that story. Very good.

APPLAUSE

It is time for music.

This Grammy-winning singer-songwriter

has been away for six years but she's back with a new album,

and tonight she's performing her latest single, Stop Where You Are.

Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Corinne Bailey Rae!

APPLAUSE

# Tender is the light that shines on you

# Gentle is the morning made anew

# Delicate the grace we've come into

# My love

# Wonder why you wish your life away

# Waiting for the perfect boat to take

# Waiting for the perfect wind to sail away

# Life's shining around you Don't miss a day

# If you're caught up in the chase

# You hold your happiness away from you

# Oh, oh-oh, oh, oh-oh, oh-oh

# Stop where you are

# Oh, oh-oh, oh, oh-oh, oh-oh

# Under fading stars

# Oh, oh-oh, oh, oh-oh, oh

# This is the world we've made

# There is no better place, it's true

# Light a fire where you are

# Underneath a blanket of the cold

# Lying in the dark, your seed will grow

# Miracles just like a winter rose

# Will be

# Everything glitters around you Don't miss a day

# The moon on the lake

# The smell in the air when it rains

# The people you can share with

# The feeling you get when you're almost there

# Oh, oh-oh, oh, oh-oh, oh-oh

# Stop where you are

# Oh, oh-oh, oh, oh-oh, oh-oh

# Under fading stars

# Oh, oh-oh, oh, oh-oh, oh

# This is the world we've made

# There is no better place, it's true

# Light a fire where you are

# Oh, oh-oh, oh, oh-oh, oh-oh

# You can't stop the wild wind roaring

# Oh, oh-oh, oh, oh-oh, oh

# But you can stop my poor heart from calling out

# Light a fire where you are

# Stop where you are

# Under fading stars

# This is the world we've made

# There is no better place, it's true

# Light a fire where you are. #

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Stunning! Corinne Bailey Rae, come and join us, do.

Brilliant job.

And well done to the singers and the band as well.

Come on over.

-That was beautiful.

-Thank you.

-Thank you so much.

Come and meet the others.

You perch yourself there,

and that's Dominic, Kate, Emilia, Matt...

they're all here, say hello.

There you go. Beautiful job.

Nice to meet you.

Lovely.

Now, if you'd all like to take your seats now, please(!)

Thank you very much.

-That's gorgeous. I love the way it fills...

-Thank you.

-..it's just gorgeous.

-Thanks a lot.

-That single's out now, isn't it?

-It is out now, yeah.

-And the album's out now?

-That's right, the album came out a few days ago.

-And what's it called?

-It's called The Heart Speaks In Whispers.

-Oh, it's such a good name for anything, yeah.

-Thank you.

Might call a dog that. It's really good.

"Heart Speaks In Whispers...!"

And I didn't realise - thank you so much, that you - you've flown in for this from New York.

-That's right.

-And is it tomorrow you fly off to...?

We're going to South Korea tomorrow. Yeah.

-Wow.

-We're playing at a festival in South Korea.

So we're about to do a tour that's five weeks and it takes us

all the way around the world. And then we come back into London...

I was going to say, when can WE see you?

We're playing Glastonbury, we're playing V Festival,

-we're playing with Stevie Wonder in Hyde Park.

-Oh, wow.

He's playing Songs In The Key Of Life, so Stevie wonder and Pharrell

and we're doing that show as well,

and then I'm playing all over the UK with Lionel Richie as well.

Well, listen, thanks for coming to play for US.

-Corinne Bailey Rae. Fantastic.

-Thank you.

-CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

OK...

That's nearly it, but before we go we have time

for a story from the big red chair. Who's there?

-Hello. Graham.

-Hi!

-How you doing?

-I'm really good, who are you?

-I'm Ramsey.

-It's Ramsey, everyone!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Yay!

And where are you from, Ramsey?

I'm from Kent but I live in Loughton.

Loughton! CHEERING

No idea.

And do you do something in Loughton?

-I live there.

-Great!

OK, that's a full-time occupation.

Emilia... Emilia, you are gorgeous, by the way,

if it don't work out with Joey - give me a bell.

Aww! Thank you. Thank you so much.

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

APPLAUSE DROWNS SPEECH

Who's next on the red chair? Hello?

-Hi.

-Hi, who are you?

-Cynthia.

-Cynthia, lovely. And where are you from, Cynthia?

-Originally from Dallas, Texas but I live in Ruislip now.

-Goodness.

LAUGHTER

Is it witness protection(?)

LAUGHTER

What brought you to Ruislip, was it love, career...?

-Career, and then it turned to love so I've been here for 11 years.

-Aw!

(That's a story.)

OK! Off you go with your tale.

OK. So, I work in human resources for a very large IT company,

and about five years ago

I was driving to work one day and realised

I'm going to be late for the team meeting call, I need to dial in.

It was one of those conference calls where you announce yourself,

and then it replays your voice

as it announces you to everyone else that's on the call.

So, I'm driving, I go through a particularly...a roundabout,

I'm still learning to navigate roundabouts, someone cuts me up...

I hear you!

I have a moment of road rage,

and before I know it I have been announced to the entire

conference call as "Knob, wanker, has joined the call."

LAUGHTER

That's a good story.

APPLAUSE

Well done, everyone,

and if you'd like to join us show and on the red chair, you can -

just contact us via our website at this address.

That is it for tonight,

so please say a big thank you to my guests.

Corinne Bailey Rae!

Mr Dominic Cooper!

Kate Beckinsale!

Emilia Clarke!

And Matt LeBlanc!

Join me next week with music from Alicia Keys,

comic actress Tamsin Greig, Frasier star Kelsey Grammer,

and the wonderful Salma Hayek. I'll see you then.

Good night, everybody, bye-bye!