Rosa & Harry Don't Tell the Bride

From the depths of the earth to the crests of the mountains,

these crusading grooms must rise to the challenge.

£12,000...

LAUGHTER

..and just three weeks...

I love that girl. I love her.

..to plan a wedding worthy of their betrothed.

Oh, my God! What's he done?

He just took my dress!

These fair maidens are bound by contract to be legally wedded...

I hate it.

..but have no say in their big day.

Is it just going to all be last-minute and just rubbish?

Where did he get green from?

Can these hapless heroes marshal their armies...

Just leave me to drown!

..vanquish dragons...

-ALL:

-Oh, God!

Do as your future mother-in-law tells you!

..and conquer all before them?

SCREAMING

Get out of my pub!

Or the will they be...

SCREAMING AND GUNSHOT

..defeated?

I'm not doing it.

MUSIC: Brimful Of Asha by Cornershop

Tonight, fun-loving groom Harry...

plans a day full of Eastern promise.

We need Rosa to be overwhelmed at every stage.

While bride-to-be Rosa just wants a very English affair.

This is what I want my wedding to be like!

Can this man...

-So what I'm thinking...

-Yeah?

..is to parade down the seafront, followed by a load of people.

..give this woman...

Well, he'd be stupid to not know that I want a '50s dress.

..the day of her dreams?

I like this one.

If he'd nailed the wedding dress,

then I'd feel fine about the wedding. But he hasn't.

Or will Harry's big idea backfire?

It's a sari.

I'm doubting the whole wedding tomorrow.

MUSIC: Weapon of Choice by Fatboy Slim

Party animal Harry first fell for love-of-his-life Rosa

when they met at a music festival two and a half years ago.

The first thing that attracted me to Rosa initially

was her hair when she was dancing around.

She was swinging it around like a crazy thing.

I thought she was a mega babe.

28-year-old Harry had a mega thing for his mega babe.

But when it came to making the first move, he stank.

Before we had our first kiss,

Harry farted on me.

MUSIC: Je T'aime...Moi Non Plus by Serge Gainsbourg

And then I invited you to have a shower with me.

-That was really nice.

-Cos he smelt.

NEEDLE SCRATCH

Luckily, their romance didn't disappear down the toilet.

But, back in the real world,

it turns out fun-loving free spirit Rosa

likes having control of everything in her life.

And now that included Harry.

She's got very strong opinions

on what she likes and what she doesn't like.

Cos I'm very...militant.

I have timeframes.

In two years' time, I want to be at this point.

Three years' time, I want to have a house.

And Harry had never thought about that before.

No, it doesn't stop me doing anything.

I think it's changed him a little bit.

She's not going to, like, tell me I can't do something.

Because he kind of changed from being this easy-going boy

to this man who had to start thinking about his future.

And, when it came to their future together,

Harry was under strict instructions.

I've always said to Harry,

"I would never live with a man unless I had a ring upon my finger."

So you always knew you'd need to propose to me.

Yeah.

All Harry had to decide about the proposal was where and when.

He picked Rosa's birthday, on holiday in India.

I found a perfect place, just as the sun was setting.

I got down on one knee and proposed.

You do get the instant, like, "What if she says no?"

I think I'd have had to push you in the sea, you know.

Would have ruined our holiday if I'd said no.

A bit, yeah.

With a new engagement ring on her finger, Rosa let Harry move in.

Now the couple live together in Brighton.

But it's not always a total joyride.

I am a bit of a control freak, in all areas of my life.

If I don't get my own way, then I throw my toys out of the pram.

-Tantrum.

-Yes.

When in that sort of tantrum-y kind of mood,

she'll come back into a room just to leave and slam the door again.

DOOR SLAMS

-Drama!

-And so people know I'm upset with them.

People know. They know.

And, when it comes to her wedding,

this control freak bride has spent years perfecting a plan.

A terribly English plan.

I do have a very clear idea of how I want my dream wedding to be -

in an English stately home,

where everyone's dressed up in their lovely vintage-style dresses,

with a vintage tea party,

all the lovely decorated crockery,

all of the lovely cakes, lots of champagne,

lots of strawberries, lots of scones.

There's something very romantic, very English about that.

Very classy.

Nothing less than a classy vintage English tea party,

with all the vintage English trimmings,

will please this picky bride.

Oh, and there's another small detail that will have big consequences

if Harry gets it wrong.

It's very important for me to have a '50s dress.

So it's got that vintage feel, it's very elegant, very classy.

He's known me long enough to know what style dresses I wear.

The majority of my wardrobe is the vintage '50s-style dress.

That's the one thing that, if he got wrong, I would be gutted.

It would break my heart, I think.

So, for this wedding to be Rosa's cup of tea, it's all about the detail.

But Harry's more interested in the bigger picture.

People worry about all the wrong things with weddings.

So people worry about the doilies or the vintage crockery.

None of it matters. None of it actually matters whatsoever.

Or even if there's any vol-au-vents. No-one gives...

No-one actually cares about miniature quiches.

She obviously really likes it, so I'm not going to say it's boring.

But I find it a bit boring.

But why is a control freak with an obsession for detail

handing over the biggest day of her life

to a man who doesn't care about details?

I would like Harry to prove that he knows me well enough by now

to make the right decisions,

and to show that he knows a little bit about what my taste is.

That's important.

Harry does know Rosa's taste.

The trouble is, he thinks it's boring.

He's convinced he can pull off a wedding that is bigger, better

and more thrilling to wow his bride.

He wants flamboyant and exciting.

So what better way than with...

A big, Bollywood-themed wedding.

MUSIC: Mundian To Bach Ke by Panjabi MC

Colourful, Indian-style Bollywood music

and hopefully some Bollywood performers.

I want to have a really big entrance to the wedding.

Just make it as colourful and as vibrant as possible.

This is going to be fun. This all about having fun.

Cos if it's not fun when you get married, then what's the point?

Instead of her stylish, vintage, English affair,

Rosa's getting a bold, brash Bollywood wedding.

Still, there is a good reason.

It's inspired by Harry's romantic Indian proposal.

She might want to forget his romantic Indian proposal.

After the proposal in India,

I woke up with horrendous tummy ache

-and I was being sick out of both ends.

-Eurgh!

And it did ruin it a little bit for me.

Rosa's departing words from India were...

"I hate India! I hate England! And I hate you!"

THEY LAUGH

The time has come for Rosa and Harry to say goodbye.

-This is it.

-This is it.

-Three weeks.

-Are you going to miss me?

-Of course I'm going to miss you.

-Are you going to cry?

-I don't know about cry.

-You'd better cry.

-I don't really cry very often, but...

There we go. Packed.

SHE WHINES

Harry's moving out to live with friends while Rosa will stay at home.

The next time they see each other will be when they say, "I do,"

in three weeks' time.

-I'm going to miss you.

-I'll see you on the wedding day.

I'm starting to get a bit upset!

You'll be fine.

Mwah!

-Love you!

-Love you.

'Yeah, I'm feeling a bit sad. I'm really going to miss her.

'Best thing to do is just get cracking

'with the preparations and stuff. Keep my mind occupied.'

I hope she's OK.

I really hope that she handles it well.

She was looking a little bit sad earlier on.

I did have to stop myself from crying as he was leaving.

It hasn't really sunk in yet

that I'm not going to see him for three weeks.

So goodness knows what's going through his head at the moment.

He must be a million times more stressed than I'm feeling.

Harry has three weeks to plan a huge Indian-themed wedding

he hopes will CURRY favour with his picky bride.

So he's off to talk tactics with best man Joe.

Naturally, over an Indian.

It's going to be a big Bollywood extravaganza.

-Bollywood?

-Bollywood.

When we were in India, Rosa got really, really sick

and I want to sort of...

Remind her of that?

No, I don't want to remind her of that!

I want to un-remind her of that,

so we can have a really good, colourful, vibrant time.

-As long as she doesn't get sick at the wedding.

-No.

As the boys get stuck in to a Ruby Murray...

..Rosa's much more at home with a couple of Rosie Lee.

So she's getting together with mum Vanya

and bridesmaids Louise and Lisa over a traditional English cuppa.

-So pretty!

-Beautiful.

This is what I want my wedding to be like!

THEY LAUGH

But with no idea of what Harry's got brewing,

this bride isn't letting go of her wedding dream.

This was pretty much what you planned, wasn't it?

Yeah, exactly it. English vintage tea party.

If he wanted to make his bright happy,

-this would be the right thing to do.

-Do you think Harry's romantic?

He's romantic when he's told to be.

-THEY LAUGH

-That's not romantic!

-Well...

-That doesn't count.

-Of course it counts.

Who cares if it counts? She's not there to tell him what to do now.

And Harry's got his own ideas. Some very big, Indian-inspired ideas.

It's really important to me that, when the guests arrive,

it's got to look as Indian and colourful and Bollywood as possible,

like a temple or something like that,

to make sure it really has a massive impact.

Everybody's got to be dressed up,

so there's got to be like a dress code.

Really grand entrances for me and Rosa,

so I'll arrive on a large animal of some sort.

I want to have like an Indian dance troupe,

and us coming in, maybe like a Bollywood-style dance.

Just sort of, like... us and a few other people.

HE LAUGHS

How are you going to feel if he doesn't deliver what you want?

What's going to be the most disappointing thing?

If he's done something completely off-the-wall

and it's not me at all and I hate it, then...

we can get divorced and then married again, and I can do the wedding!

Do you think he's going to go for the big extravaganza?

Harry is definitely going to think big,

and probably bite off more than he can chew.

Well, Harry may be getting just a bit carried away

with his wish list of temples, giant animals

and big Bollywood dance routines,

but it's not like he's planning a huge procession

through the streets of Brighton or anything.

If we could have a procession -

a really noisy, colourful, paint-flying-everywhere procession -

I think that would be really fun.

Oh. Turns out he is.

I hope she wants a wedding like that.

I think she'll really love it.

Um...but I think...

So, on top of everything else,

there's a big Bollywood procession through Brighton.

But there's one thing Harry knows could make or break the whole day.

I'm a little bit worried about Rosa's dress,

cos I think it's quite a big part of the night.

She doesn't want to be dressed wrong for her wedding.

-He knows what kind of dresses you wear, doesn't he?

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

'50s kind of stuff.

Well, he'd be stupid to not know that I want a '50s dress.

-We have to find an amazing sari, so...

-Sari?

Did you just say sari?

Yeah, sari, so heavily embroidered...

um, really good quality one...

Do you think she's going to like that?

I don't know.

I'm going to need advice

and then at least I can blame you

-a little bit if it's wrong.

-Yeah, OK, fair enough.

Harry hopes to pull off a wedding so big, bold and brilliant

it will convince his bride there's more to life

than getting bogged down in the detail.

But best man Joe's already worried.

I hope Rosa's going to like it,

but you just don't know at this point, you just...no idea.

'He wants to do about half a dozen different things'

and with only three weeks to do it, everything could go wrong.

-That's a good one, Joey.

-Yeah, well,

it's not going to get you very far, is it?

While Harry's Indian extravaganza ideas are still up in the air...

..Rosa's dream of an elegant English wedding is set in stone.

And she knows exactly where she would have it.

Along with her mum, Vanya, and bridesmaids, Louise and Frankie,

she's visiting Stanmer House,

a Grade I listed mansion just outside Brighton.

Set among acres of woodland,

it's the perfect setting for the vintage English wedding

she's always dreamed of.

-Oh, this is amazing.

-Wow. Really, really stunning venue.

-So grand, isn't it?

-Yeah, it's like Downton Abbey.

Imagine turning up here in your horse and carriage.

This is what I want.

This is my dream.

-Shall we go in?

-Yeah, let's.

While Rosa dreams of Downton Abbey,

Harry's thinking more downtown Delhi.

He wants real, authentic Indian

and it doesn't get much more authentic

than a real Hindu temple in Crawley.

I like the entrance bit, it's pretty good, isn't it?

The entrance bit is pretty cool.

This bit...is beautiful.

I really the door, you know it's pretty, it's...

authentic, it's traditional.

Rosa want authentic and traditional too,

just from a completely different country.

ROSA GASPS

Wow.

Oh, this is lovely.

I can't get over it, I'm speechless.

It's a pretty amazing room.

-Stanmer House is renowned for their wonderful afternoon teas...

-Mm-hm.

..so I think we'd get everyone in here for the reception,

sitting down, enjoying a nice, three-tier afternoon tea.

Waitresses, waiters, in vintage little pinafores.

-Yeah, that would look fantastic.

-Butlers, that would be nice!

THEY LAUGH

Back at Harry's temple, the inside's as good as the outside.

I like all this stuff. I think that's pretty cool.

That is beautiful, isn't it?

Yeah, this is the sort of look I'm going for.

BELL RINGS

But there's one big question,

can Harry and Rosa actually get married here if they're not Hindu?

THEY SPEAK THEIR OWN LANGUAGE

He can do, solemnise the marriage in the Hindu way.

-OK, so it doesn't matter..?

-Doesn't matter what you are.

-OK.

Great news, but there could be a different issue.

-No alcohol.

-No, no.

-TELEPHONE RINGS

Anything you need, any alcohol in the...

during the wedding ceremony.

No alcohol?

Well, maybe Rosa won't want any.

Yeah, we could serve gin in teacups, that would be great.

No, she's hoping to get on the gin.

I definitely would get rid of these

and have all vintage crockery, mismatched.

-Mismatched, yeah.

-Yeah, that would be good, yeah.

I started having feelings of doubt as soon as we left each other

that I'm not going to have any control over organising this wedding

and it's all on Harry's shoulders.

It's starting to terrify me.

If Harry hasn't chosen something with the wow factor,

I think not only myself will be...

disappointed, but all of our guests will too.

You want to get married somewhere that's grand and beautiful.

Nice to meet you, yes.

Back at the temple, Harry's beginning to suspect

that as authentic as it is, this very holy place

might not be ideal for the fun, flamboyant

Bollywood extravaganza he wants.

At the end of the day it's an actual place of worship

and I think my idea for this wedding is, er...

I'm going for loud and colourful and vibrant and... kind of fun.

For this wedding to work,

we need Rosa to be overwhelmed at every stage.

For now, the search for a ceremony venue goes on the back burner,

while Harry heads home to Brighton to turn his attention

to the more dazzling aspects of his wedding,

elements he hopes will blow his bride away

and make her forget she wants an English wedding.

# Dance with me. #

So, how do you make absolutely certain your wedding

is completely unforgettable?

Simple, Harry's going to perform a big Bollywood dance routine

with all his mates, in front of his bride, just before they get married.

It's going to be quite weird, but...

the guys are really up for it, they're a good hunch, so

we'll try our best.

Hello.

Hey! How are you doing, man?

So they don't embarrass themselves completely,

Harry's booked lessons with a dance guru.

So, you're going to be some sort of Bollywood hero?

That's the plan, to woo her.

So, I want it to be, sort of colourful and vibrant and loud.

-OK.

-HARRY LAUGHS

Let's see, let's make you into a Bollywood hero, then.

OK, let's do it.

# Do the D-A-N-C-E... #

To gauge exactly how much the boys have in the way of skill or ability,

teacher Jay starts them off with a nice, easy warm up.

# Do the dance...

# The way you move is a mystery

# Do the dance... #

Make some noise!

THEY CHEER AND APPLAUD

JAY LAUGHS

Well done, boys.

That was just the warm up, though.

First of all, you're running on stage, running on stage...

Jay's routine will put Harry centre stage,

with a grand entrance to greet his bride.

Getting into positions,

-into positions and then we're jumping.

-OK, sounds good.

BOLLYWOOD MUSIC STARTS

Timing and coordination are essential.

One, two, three. One, two, three...

Sadly, timing and coordination are in short supply.

We'll try it again.

Ah, let's see. I mean, I think what it is,

are you going to have a chance to rehearse at the venue as well?

Probably not.

-We'll do it in the house. We'll...

-OK, fine.

-All right, here we go.

But after seven run-throughs, they do seem to be getting the hang of it.

And it's only taken 20 minutes.

That's the first ten seconds of the routine sorted.

Just another one minute, 50 seconds to go.

They've still got a lot of... lot of work to do, lot more timing,

timing issues, getting their hands in the right place,

getting the steps right, but they've not got much time

and they're going to have to work hard, I should think.

MUSIC: Brimful Of Asha by Cornershop

'Really, really hard. None of us are dancers, as you can tell.'

I think we're going to have to put in a lot of practice.

I think the first half's the hardest,

we've got into the rhythm of him teaching us now.

I think it will be great.

Harry's pretty confident, but what about the others?

-It's going to...go pear-shaped.

-Yeah.

-I'm pretty sure.

Yeah, we want to make sure that, er...

we make her proud and make sure that he has a good day,

-because if it's on our shoulders, everything's

-BLEEP.

Well, that's encouraging.

TRANCE MUSIC

It's the end of week one, and with no wedding venue

and only half a dance routine under his belt,

Harry's beginning to worry

that he may have bitten off more than he can chew

with his hugely ambitious wedding plan.

I keep getting these waves of panic and I'm like, oh, my God!

Everything's going to go wrong.

I really miss Rosa, really miss her now.

It's better for me, cos I'm really busy, I've...

kind of got my mind full with doing all this.

I can imagine it being really tough for her, just sort of

kicking around at home and not doing as much. I reckon she's worrying.

-I think she should be worrying!

-HARRY LAUGHS

Mm, maybe she should.

Harry's back on the road to sort out the next part of his master scheme.

He needs something unmissable

to lead his Bollywood parade through the streets of Brighton.

I've got to get my bartering...face on.

And despite worries about the growing scale of his plans,

for Harry, this is the one place where size really does matter.

So, along with Joe,

he's come to a place in south London that might have just the thing.

# Nellie the elephant Packed her trunk... #

A ten foot tall, stainless steel elephant.

Welcome to Nellie.

-That is amazing.

-Wow.

-You might want something more realistic.

-What's more realistic than this? I don't want a real elephant.

-Mm...

So, what I'm thinking, is to parade

down the seafront followed by a load of people.

-Making a big racket.

-Yeah, that'll work.

Do you think that's doable?

-Yeah, that works.

-I think...

-That's perfect for her, she'd love that.

Harry's sold on his mammoth metal animal.

But there's another elephant in the room, the cost.

Time to put on that bartering face.

What is it going to cost to get it down to Brighton?

It's going to be in the region of 2.8 thousand.

-It's not the cheapest option.

-No.

The taxi is a lot cheaper, but it's nowhere near as much fun.

Is there any room for negotiation on the price?

What do you need it to be?

I was thinking about two grand.

TILL RINGS

Not the best bartering face.

Halfway?

TILL RINGS

That one's not much better.

Is there any chance of doing 2.2, maybe?

Hard.

-Let's make this one count.

-Yeah.

TILL RINGS

-As it's a wedding...

-Yeah.

-2.2.

Go on, then.

Sold, to the man with the rubbish bartering face.

Harry's bagged big Nellie to lead his wedding parade,

for just under a fifth of his entire budget.

Mm. Bargain.

I mean, it was little bit more expensive than I wanted.

I think it will be worth it as well,

I think it will be an important part of our...

-I reckon so.

-..an important part of our day.

-Yeah.

I think that's the bit

I'm looking forward to the most, is the procession.

Well, on the biggest day of your life,

having not seen your bride in three weeks,

who wouldn't be most looking forward to a big metal elephant?

But fashionista Rosa has a huge obsession of her own,

because the most important thing about her dream wedding

is her dream wedding dress.

Not wanting to compromise her '50s style,

especially on her big day,

Rosa has always dreamt of a bespoke dress,

carefully crafted by her maid of honour, Louise.

Ever since I got engaged, we've been thinking about

what she would make me as a wedding dress.

-OK, do you want to have a look at some dresses?

-Yes, I do.

And try some of them on.

Dressmaker Louise's handmade gowns

are ideal for our vintage-loving bride

and one in particular has Rosa's name on it.

No, it literally has her name on it.

This one is the Rosa dress.

Oh, it's very me.

-Yeah, that's beautiful.

-The Rosa dress...

LAUGHTER

-Da-da, da-da...

-Yes, you should definitely try that one on.

-Yeah, definitely.

-Yeah...

-I like this one.

While Rosa dreams of handmade and bespoke...

Harry's thinking more self-assembly.

He's come to Southall in London to find Rosa's wedding dress,

except the dress he wants isn't a dress.

It's an authentic Indian wrap-around sari.

So this has got the blend of colours, eh?

What's more,

Harry knows even less about saris than he does about dresses.

So, you tie a knot?

HARRY LAUGHS

Oh...

that's how you do it.

That is, yeah, it's a beautiful, beautiful sari.

In Brighton, Vanya, Louise and Lizzie are waiting

for Rosa to dress in the Rosa dress.

-Ta-dah!

-Oh, wow.

Like it?

-That looks amazing.

-Wow. Give us a spin. That's beautiful.

Oh, I love this one.

You look beautiful.

Like a bride!

I've always wanted a white wedding dress.

-I like to jazz it up a little bit.

-Yes.

The traditional white dress,

but it's really important to have a bit of colour as well.

OK. So that's a bit of colour...

So, I'm thinking, like, pink or purple.

This pink is pretty special, isn't it?

Well, Harry IS going for colour...

just with no white dress attached.

What's that bit on the end of this one?

-It's the blouse.

-Oh, OK.

Yeah. Blouse.

But it seems these flamboyant saris might not be right after all.

-Have you got one with more sparkle?

-Yes, we do, Harry.

-Let's try...

-Very heavy...

Yep, he wants something even more flamboyant than that.

-So, are we being very fussy?

-Yes.

If I don't get a '50s dress, similar to this,

I'm going to feel upset and cheated.

Surely he should know by now that I like my '50s dresses?

I would just feel like he doesn't pay any attention to what I wear.

It's too much of a risk,

to, like, pick something that's so far from what you like.

-That would be a gamble.

-Yeah, it would be a massive gamble.

In that case, Harry could be about to hit a losing streak,

because he's betting his whole wedding on this

top-of-the-range sari.

You can say this is the wow factor.

Yeah, that one definitely is.

-It's definitely more sort of...

-Bridal.

-..bridal, yeah.

-Finally, Harry's found something for his wife.

-Yes!

Finally(!) It took about half an hour!

THEY LAUGH

Oh, wow.

Ah! I like that.

What do you think?

-Yeah.

-The pink is super-girlie.

-It's lovely.

Back in Brighton, Rosa is falling for

another of Louise's handmade vintage dresses.

What do you think, Mum?

I really love that.

It's really gorgeous. It's very you.

As much as I like the other one,

this is the 1950s tea-party wedding dress,

which I've always dreamed of.

It's got pink in it,

so my favourite colour.

I think if Harry hasn't chosen a '50s-style dress,

I'm going to feel disappointed,

cos that's my style. That's what I always wear.

And he knows that.

So, if he fails me on that part,

I'm going to be wearing a dress which isn't part of my personality

on my wedding day.

What is the cost of this one?

Harry just needs to get the sari in budget,

and Rosa's dress dreams will be gone for good.

-I'll not give you a shock, I'll give you happy news.

-OK, good.

The price is 800.

-OK.

-It was 850, but I already cut 50 down, so...

-It's a lot.

It's way over my budget, isn't it?

OK, Harry, what's your budget?

The budget we had was 300.

Would you take 500?

-We do bargaining and we do discount, but not that much!

-OK.

How about 650?

-OK, Harry.

-There we go.

-That's with the tailoring?

-Thank you very much.

-Thank you.

Harry happily hands over £650 for the most important dress - I mean, sari -

Rosa will ever wear.

But with less than two weeks to go, and a growing to-do list,

he's beginning to feel a bit SARI for himself.

I just want to make it as big and vibrant as possible.

Everything's up in the air at the minute.

We still haven't got a venue.

The mechanical elephant was more money than I'd planned,

so everything is just sort of creeping up.

I need to make some serious decisions later on

about what budget we've got left to spend on things.

In Brighton, not having any control over her wedding

is beginning to get to control freak Rosa.

I am really starting to stress.

My wedding will be taking place in a week-and-a-half

and I don't have a clue what I'm wearing,

-where it is, what time it is...

-Oh, my God.

..and when is the hen do?

If he misses the boat for that, that's it. No hen do.

I'm only going to have a hen do once in my life,

and I would like it before my wedding,

rather than after the wedding.

What if he's trying to save money?

Have you thought about that?

Whatever it is, I just want some kind of celebration.

Rosa's definitely getting a lot more nervous.

I think it's dawning on her just how much she's asking of him to do.

I think without having her telling him what to do,

he's got a bit more freedom to do something that he likes. Yeah.

I am starting to get quite worried.

Well, perhaps she should be.

Harry's been so busy organising his huge dance number, huge procession

and huge elephant, there's still one huge detail to sort out -

somewhere to get married.

But he may have a saviour, and a royal one at that.

Brighton's Royal Pavilion,

King George IV's flamboyant fantasy folly of a palace,

which Harry's hoping is perfect

for his flamboyant fantasy folly of a wedding.

The architecture's amazing. It fits in with our theme,

it's Indian style.

Do we get married somewhere that's not that special,

or do we get married in the Brighton Pavilion,

which is just absolutely stunning,

and I think Rosa will appreciate that.

-Come on through, Harry.

-Thank you.

So, this is the room that we use for the weddings.

-It seats 44 people.

-OK.

This place looks perfect for Rosa's traditional English ceremony,

but Harry's more interested in

whether it's fit for his big Bollywood blow out.

OK. So are you allowed to sing in here?

You are. We've had people singing All You Need Is Love...

-How about dancing?

-I'm afraid not.

-Oh!

-No.

So I'm actually going to dance for my fiancee at some point.

We could dance on the lawn?

-Oh, you can dance on the lawn.

-Yeah?

-Oh, yes.

There's another thing which...

I have life-size mechanical elephant.

-Do you?

-Yeah.

We're all going to follow it to the next venue, because it's on wheels.

That would be great, because there is a path all the way through

-the estate of the Royal Pavilion here.

-We could bring it...

You could bring it onto the path of the Royal Pavilion,

and then you could all leave the King's Apartment lawns behind it.

That sounds brilliant.

So, after ten whole minutes spent looking at the ceremony room,

Harry's off outside to see

if the pavilion has the potential for his priority - the parade.

My procession will have, like, whistles and drums and stuff.

-Is that OK?

-That's fine.

-A noisy procession.

-As long as there's no fire-eaters we don't mind.

-There's not.

-I can imagine you're a bit worried about fire.

-Slightly, yes.

The pavilion could make Harry's big, bold vision

even bigger and bolder than he'd hoped for,

and he's getting excited by the possibilities.

One of the things that really sold it for me is,

we can have the procession round the pavilion gardens,

with our big mechanical elephant.

This is potentially a place where we can dance, make loads of noise,

so, yeah, it just ticks all the boxes for me.

Harry forks out £750 on his perfect grand backdrop.

But now the pressure's on to make sure all the other

elements for his Indian theme live up to the venue.

Time to practise those dance moves,

because, let's face it, they need to.

Ho!

One, two, three, four...

BOLLYWOOD MUSIC PLAYS

With just a week to go until the boys perform in front of Rosa,

and over 100 wedding guests,

Harry's cracking the whip.

-Guys, we need to do it again.

-Oh...

We need to do it again. Come on, let's do it again!

-Will we do it again?

-Yeah.

He's been drilling us on the dance moves.

I think we've done it a dozen times tonight already.

OK.

He's got a lot riding on this,

so everybody's got to pull their socks up, sort of thing.

Well, there's definitely some improvement

but with time beginning to run short,

Harry's starting to feel the pressure.

I'm absolutely exhausted.

I wake up every morning in the middle of a scary dream

about the wedding. It's a big thing I'm doing,

doing a Bollywood dance with my pals and all the guests,

getting married in the pavilion,

organising a mechanical elephant to have a procession through town

with 100 people, I'm doing all of the stuff for this wedding

with Rosa in mind, so I'm thinking about her a lot.

I really hope she likes it because it's been hard work

and if it goes...

I don't know. I'll just be really pleased that I've given her

a really great day,

and I'll be really pleased that I've managed to pull it off.

It's the beginning of week three,

time for the hen do.

Please let it not be kayaking.

Rosa and her friends have been told to head to Brighton beach.

It may have something to do with fishing.

But maybe we'll be pleasantly surprised

and we'll be going to a spa instead.

I'm hoping it's just, like, a bluff.

Morning, ladies.

ALL: Hello!

Is Rosa here? Are you... OK, hi, Rosa.

So, if you want to follow me...

Harry's determined to keep his Indian wedding plan a secret.

So, obviously, he's splashed out on a kayaking lesson(!)

Harry said you liked sailing and gin...

Yeah, I like sailing on an exotic island somewhere.

OK. Well, we can imagine.

We can push it to that.

I'm terrified. Here we go. Wish me luck!

It's Rosa's first taste of Harry's organisational skills,

and despite the slightly damp reception to the idea...

SHRIEKING

..she seems to be enjoying life on the ocean waves.

But the surprises don't end there.

Oh, it looks like it's a message in a bottle.

"Dear beautiful Rosa.

"Our wedding is on the 3rd of October."

Oh. At least I know when the wedding is!

Rosa was worried Harry could come unstuck planning the wedding,

but now at least she knows he's booked something...whatever it is.

I'm feeling relieved about the invitation.

At least we know when the wedding is happening.

That's a bit of a relief.

I was starting to panic a little bit.

It's not too clear where it is.

It might just be a pretty picture that he's drawn you.

You just don't know, do you?

Well, we've got a wedding. Yay!

And the good news keeps coming.

I got a text from Harry.

"Go and have a hot shower and recharge.

"Be at Metrodeco at six o'clock for cocktails."

THEY CHEER

-Well done.

-Well done!

THEY WHISTLE AND CHEER

For her evening do, Rosa gets something

she had always dreamed of for her wedding - teapots and alcohol.

THEY CHEER

Here's to the wedding!

-Thank you, Harry.

-Well done, Harry.

Rosa's starting to feel that Harry might actually be

thinking of her with his wedding plans.

One more week to go and then we'll be married,

and then we can spend the rest of our lives together!

Cheers to that!

Cheers.

The panic that I was feeling in my chest has turned into excitement.

At least I know I've got a wedding happening.

Hopefully, it's going to be something that I enjoy.

Good. Because right now, Harry needs all the hope he can get.

It's less than a week to the big day,

and the groom who thought details weren't important

is beginning to realise just how important

those details are after all.

I'm feeling a little bit stressed now.

It might all collapse.

There was a possibility of it all exploding,

so I'm not even thinking about that at the minute.

There's not enough brain capacity to think about that.

It's a bit scary.

So, with just over £1,000 left in the budget,

Harry heads off on a spending spree for his bride-to-be.

But Rosa may not be too pleased with his shopping list,

as there's nothing vintage...

-Can you do 100 for 100? Is that too much?

-OK.

..tea party...

Great. So that's ten.

..or quintessentially English in sight.

HE SPEAKS IN HIS OWN LANGUAGE

Next, Harry books a Hindu celebrant to perform the ceremony.

-You can't kiss the bride.

-I can't?

Not at an Indian wedding. No kissing in public.

-No kissing.

-Seriously, you want a Bollywood wedding?

OK. It sounds like I'm in for it.

THEY LAUGH

What have I done? What have I done?

Finally, he checks out the reception venue he's found on the seafront,

which he hopes to transform into a Bollywood palace of fun.

What I'm seeing is, to make it Bollywood,

so you've got sparkly drapes, you've got sort of canvasses on the wall,

coloured canvasses... We'll cover up the Bob Marley, I think. Sorry, Bob.

With so much to do and so little time, Harry can only

cram in one last rehearsal of that all-important dance routine.

-Oh,

-BLEEP.

And forward... Is it...?

Then your hands...

To make sure his dance has the big Bollywood wow factor,

Harry's bolstered his rookie best men with some polished professionals.

BOLLYWOOD MUSIC PLAYS

I'm surprised.

I didn't think we had the rhythm but we seem to be working it out.

Yeah. We're doing well. I think!

We've 90% cracked it.

We know the moves,

with about a five-second delay before each one!

The boys think they've almost nailed it,

but what do the experts think?

Knees at different times, arms at different times,

and I think, in their head, they think they look really good,

but I think it's going to be a mess.

Mmm. Tough crowd.

It's the day before the wedding.

Hiya!

-Hello!

-All right?

Oo-ooh-ooh.

Oh...

Rosa and her bridesmaids have been summoned to Rosa's flat.

CORK POPS

Ooh! I love that noise.

With the wedding in just 24 hours,

our bride is hoping she's about to get her first glimpse

of the one thing she holds most dear about her big day.

Seeing the dress today is actually going to be the first thing

which I've actually seen of the whole, entire wedding.

The dress is really important,

because I really like fashion and I want to feel comfortable,

I want to feel confident and I want to feel like I look attractive

when I go down that aisle.

Here's to you and your amazing dress, hopefully.

-Yes, darling.

-Can we do positive thinking?

-Please don't cry.

If he's got this wrong, I am going to question our relationship a bit,

because I think, by now, two-and-a-half years of being

with someone, you should know what their style is,

and I'm very much into my vintage fashion.

If he's messed that up,

then that could potentially mess up the whole day.

If he cocks up, then he's got ten bridesmaids to deal with.

THEY LAUGH

But Rosa may have to wait a little longer to know

whether or not to unleash the bridesmaids.

We can't give her her sari yet because it'll spoil the surprise.

Obviously, she'll guess, like, sari, Indian, blah, blah, blah.

Harry doesn't want to leave his beloved without

anything on the night before her wedding,

so he's come up with a little surprise to throw her off the scent.

I'm not going to give her the jewellery now

because that would give it away as well, bindis and Indian jewellery.

The night before the wedding and we don't know anything still.

It's half-six.

It's really annoying.

-So when are we finding out?

-I don't know.

Oh, oh, oh, oh.

Oh, oh, oh.

-Hi.

-Hi.

-For Rosa.

-What's this?

-Tomorrow.

See you tomorrow.

-What's going on?

-What? What is it?

Rosa wanted a dress that was handmade by Louise,

her maid of honour.

-Did you make it?

-I'm going to just hang it on the wall.

-Did you make it?

-It's supposed to be a surprise.

-It's her dress.

We're not in a shop and it's arrived really late,

which is making feel like he's probably bought it off the internet.

No...

Maybe he's just left everything till the last minute.

She had dreamed of a 1950s vintage wedding dress.

What will she make of Harry's...

well, whatever THIS is?

Ooh!

THEY LAUGH AND SHRIEK

Open it, open it.

It looks like it's red.

THEY SHRIEK

It's not white, it's not vintage

and it's not even a dress.

-It's a pink dressing gown.

-What's going on?

And not only has it kept secret what Harry is planning,

it's led Rosa down the path of something he definitely isn't.

-It's a

-BLEEP

-nudist wedding!

-No...

-It's a

-BLEEP

-nudist wedding.

She knew it was a nudist wedding.

-I knew it.

-No, it's got to be a joke. It's got to be a joke.

It seems Harry's plan to throw Rosa off the scent

might have worked too well

and Rosa's mum isn't happy.

Where's your bloody dress?

-Well...

-It's the night before your wedding, we need your wedding dress.

I'm not being funny, I can't believe it. That is a joke. Has to be.

I don't want to upset you or worry you,

but we're all kind of, "It's just a joke,"

but it isn't a joke because it's the night before the wedding

and that's what you've got. And it's stupid.

It's not even a nice dressing gown.

Harry's deception with the one thing Rosa valued most

has backfired badly.

That dressing gown could lead to a dressing-down.

This is what I meant.

If he'd nailed the wedding dress, I'd feel fine about the wedding,

-but he hasn't.

-Hmm.

So...

I'm not chuffed...for you.

-I think it's all going to be OK.

-When?

'I feel sick to my stomach, to be honest.'

I'm really, really worried that if he's left this to the last minute,

he's left everything to the last minute,

and it's just going to be a last-minute, crap wedding,

when my daughter deserves the wedding of her dreams, so...

I can tell she's putting a brave face on it,

but she's actually really quite upset.

I'm just really cross with Harry.

It's quarter past seven the night before my wedding day.

I'm wearing a child's blooming dressing gown.

It just shows complete lack of organisation on his part.

If he can't even organise the wedding dress,

which is a pinnacle part of the wedding,

he can't even get that sorted,

then I'm doubting the whole wedding tomorrow.

It's the morning of the wedding.

With no idea of the dress drama he created yesterday,

Harry's packing Rosa's wedding sari

and still hoping his big Indian day will blow his bride away.

It's been a bit of a whirlwind.

There were times when I thought it's never going to happen.

Of course it's been worth it, yeah.

Once Rosa gets this,

as long as she doesn't kill me later on,

or turn up in tears or anything like that, it'll be fine.

But across town, things are far from fine.

Harry's arranged a hotel for Rosa to get ready in.

He's even remembered hair and make-up.

But despite all that, the mood is as flat as a chapatti.

I feel sick.

I am terrified.

I think I've held it together pretty well up until today,

the day of the wedding, and I am starting to lose my shit a bit.

I feel terrified.

I have to keep on going to the toilet because I feel sick.

Harry has left instructions for hair and make-up

to transform his bride into a Bollywood princess,

however Rosa still has no idea about his theme.

I'm not sure if Rosa's going to like it...

That wasn't what I was expecting.

-Oh, Rosa, what are we going to do?

-I don't know.

I'm feeling really nervous.

The make-up goes down about as well as the dressing gown did.

I just think what Harry chose for the eyeliner makes me

look like a man in drag.

The hair's not good, either.

Do you think I've got enough time to go to a hairdresser's?

You haven't got enough time to go to a hairdresser's.

You won't find one now.

You don't want it up?

Mm-mm.

Oblivious that his touches of Bollywood

are currently more Bolly-wouldn't,

Harry's transforming his beachfront bar

into an Indian party venue for his reception.

I'm just taking the Jamaican flags down.

It's a Jamaican beach bar. It needs to be a Bollywood beach bar.

Ah!

Hey, boys!

While Harry's making sure his groomsmen are suited

and booted appropriately...

-That's so cool.

-Yeah.

HE SINGS

..Rosa still has no idea what she'll be wearing.

-What time is it?

-It's just gone 12.

So I'm getting picked up in two hours and 45 minutes

-and I don't have a

-BLEEP

-dress?!

-He's cutting it really fine.

This is making me think that I don't have a dress.

I don't know what to say to you. I just...

It's really cruel.

It is cruel.

Do you trust him?

I want to...

At last, Rosa's wedding outfit is on its way,

but it couldn't be further from

the vintage 1950s-style dress she dreamed of.

KNOCK ON DOOR

-Hello.

-Hello?

THEY CHEER

-How are you doing?

-Hi.

Good!

-Here is your dress.

-What?

-Good luck.

-Thank you!

-Have a nice day.

OK.

-Oh, my God.

-Oh, wow.

Is it a sari?

I'm just in shock.

When you're expecting a white wedding dress,

-this just wasn't...

-Yeah.

So, we're having an Indian wedding?

Rosa's finally realised her English tea-party wedding

has gone up the SPOUT.

-It's not what she wanted.

-Oh, don't cry...

I think it's a shock.

She doesn't like her hair and make-up, so...

I just wasn't expecting that.

You'll look like an Indian princess. You'll look lovely.

I want... It's just the shock.

When you have something in your head,

and then you get something that's completely different...

SHE SIGHS

Oh, mate...

Over at Brighton Pavilion,

the giant elephant for Harry's mammoth Bollywood procession

has arrived, but he has still has no idea

that the sari he chose for Rosa was so wrong.

-Is she in good health?

-She's in very good health.

We've made an extra-wide seat so you can both get up.

We can both get up there? That's amazing!

While Harry's big parade plans are rolling on,

over with Rosa, wedding preparations have ground to a halt.

I think Harry thought all of my ideas for the wedding

were mundane and boring,

so he's definitely not chosen something boring.

-He's totally gone off the wall.

-I just want to get it on now,

-and then I can get used to it.

-Let's try it on.

She's got such a particular style.

That's the complete opposite. He tried to be romantic,

but I'm not really sure she wants to wear that on her wedding day.

Despite her reservations, Rosa decides to wear the sari.

If she can work out how to put it on!

We need to move that so it's more on the left

so you don't have that weird bulky bit at the front.

That bit goes on the side, yeah, so you twist it...

I did not expect to be doing this on my wedding day.

Ow, my finger!

This is worlds apart from my dream dress,

but it's a dream-like dress in another way.

I feel like I'm going to a Bollywood fancy-dress party,

not to a wedding.

To be fair, it's a bit of both,

and in keeping with his theme,

Harry's arranged for some very Indian transport

for his bride, who still has no idea where she's going

or what the day has in store for her.

We're going in a tuk-tuk!

Back at the pavilion,

Harry's getting everything ready for his grand entrance.

Guys, come in, come in, come in.

So, we need two columns -

girls, boys - with an aisle down the middle. Go!

Harry plans to win his bride's heart

as the hero in his Bollywood dance number.

It's foolproof...

except he's only had three weeks to learn it.

This is Jay, he's our villain.

THEY ALL EXCLAIM

So, Rosa is going to be led down the aisle of people,

Jay is going to be there waiting for her,

she's going to be like, "What's happening?"

There are going to be some Bollywood eyes,

then we're going to start our dance.

Will it be enough to persuade his bride that his Bollywood wedding

is better than her dream English one?

Where are we going?

It has to be somewhere local,

-because you can't go too far in a tuk-tuk.

-No.

It's the not knowing, it drives you mad.

-I just want to see Harry now.

-Yeah.

-Now we're at...

-The pavilion!

Oh, we're going to stop here.

It's quite far from my stately manor house.

Hello!

CHEERING

Everything is in place for Harry's Bollywood extravaganza -

the bride...

crowds of people...

the villain...

and the heroes!

Three weeks of planning have all come down to this moment.

Oh, bloody hell.

Oh, my God, what's going on?

CHEERING

Hey, Rosa.

You thought you were marrying Harry,

but really, the surprise is, you're marrying me!

BOOING

You're going to come with me!

BOLLYWOOD MUSIC PLAYS

BOOING

CHEERING

They're great!

Incredible! It's blowing my mind.

CHEERING

-I love you.

-Come on, let's go and get married.

-OK.

CHEERING

-Do you like the sari?

-I love everything.

This is great, innit? We're getting married in there.

-I can tell you now.

-You can tell me everything now.

By the way, we're having a Bollywood wedding, is that all right?!

CHEERING

I was expecting something different,

with the wow factor, but not quite on this scale.

It's not finished yet.

Ooh... In my eyes, it can't get any better,

so whatever else you've got up your sleeve,

it's going to be good.

Well, Harry's next surprise is JUMBO-sized.

-A

-BLEEP

-elephant!

Is that for us?

Rosa mounts Harry's big Nellie as he prepares to give her

the ride of a lifetime.

CHEERING

Let the Brighton procession begin!

That was an amazing day.

Harry absolutely blew it out of the water. It was, yeah, incredible.

We stopped traffic in the streets on a mechanical elephant.

Do you know, a '50s tea party seems really crap compared to this.

This is bloody awesome!

The fact that he's done all this for Rosa is amazing.

She must feel like a princess today.

Who wouldn't?

Finally, Rosa gets to see the beachfront bar Harry

transformed into a Bollywood reception venue.

Wow! Look at the draping.

-It's a real Bollywood...

-Oh, look.

He's done fantastic. I couldn't have done any better.

What mark out of ten would you give him?

11.

Oh, well done, Harry! Yay!

One, two, three...

Has Harry convinced the bride who just wanted a wedding all about

the English vintage details that big, bold and Bollywood fun is best?

What I was expecting was a stately manor home,

afternoon tea, quite prim and proper...

You love that stuff.

I do love it.

But what I got was better. I felt like a princess.

You made me feel amazing today. Thank you.

Every single thing that you've done is incredible,

and every minute of every day... you just surprise me.

-And it just shows how much I love you.

-Aw...

Now my great pleasure is to declare that you are lawfully

husband and wife.

A few days later, Harry and Rosa made their marriage legal

in a very traditional English registry office.

Next time - hairstylist groom James wants a cutting-edge wedding...

-Jenna comes down that way...

-We can do that for you.

..while Jenna craves a day that's classic and timeless.

Oh, my God!

This is literally like what my dream is.

Can this man... HE GUFFAWS

..give this woman...

Oh, my God.

..the wedding of her dreams?

I am not happy.

Or will it end up the ultimate fashion faux pas?

I am well and truly pissed off.

BOLLYWOOD MUSIC PLAYS