Midnight Snack Keith Richards' Lost Weekend


Midnight Snack

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My mate made me the handcuffs just to remind me

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not to get arrested again.

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Guilty, your honour. DOOR SLAMS

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Your relationship with the police. Is that...

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Could you rephrase that? They have a relationship with me.

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Is it something that's mellowed at all, or is it...

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Because they were on your arse, weren't they? Oh, yeah. Yeah.

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I kind of got used to it. And I just considered them the enemy.

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# We...

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# Love "they"

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# We want you to love "they" too... #

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'At the same time, I know policemen

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'and they are just ordinary blokes on the job.'

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It depends the direction from above.

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Boom. "He's a target," you know.

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And for, you know, for quite a while I was the target.

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# We don't care if you hound "we" and love is all around "we"

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# Love can't get our minds off

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# We love you, we love you... #

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You kind of got used to it, you know what I mean.

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I remember my son when he was about five years old

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and he'd be looking at it. "Dad, the unmarked car's still there."

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You know, er...

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I was amazed at the amount of effort and time and taxpayers' money

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they must have spent trying to bust a guitar player, you know.

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To the point where they would, you know, plant me.

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# We love you We love you

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# You will never win "we" Your uniforms don't fit "we"

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# We forget the place we're in Cos we love you

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# We love you Of course we do... #

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But at the same time I got a certain, like, thrill out of it.

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I was like, Chelsea cops? Get out of here! You know.

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I'll have yours, Constable Constable.

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You know, I always knew I could beat them.

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I would beat them in court, I'd beat them one way or another because...

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..their hearts weren't really in it. They'd just been told to lean on me.

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I'm an easy target. I mean, I asked for it, I got it.

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And the rest of us, you know. I'm sure Mick would feel the same way.

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# I love you

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# And I hope that you won't prove wrong too... #

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They just came in so heavy-handed,

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trying to break a butterfly on a wheel, you know.

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# We love "they"... #

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After they'd given up trying to bust us, they put the money thing on us,

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hence Exile On Main St.

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We said, "We don't care. We'll leave the country. You know, bollocks.

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"You're the losers. Not us."

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And this is why we moved to France, you know,

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which was a heavy-duty thing because they figured that would break us up.

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They didn't quite know the spirit of the men they were dealing with.

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Be right back.

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# I'm gonna wait till the midnight hour

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# That's when my love comes tumbling down

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# I'm gonna wait till the midnight hour

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# When there's no-one else around

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# I'm gonna take you, girl and hold you

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# And do all things I told you in the midnight hour

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# Yes, I am Yes, I am

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# One more thing I just wanna say right here

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# I'm gonna wait till the stars come out

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# And see them twinkle in your eyes

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# I'm gonna wait till the midnight hour

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# That's when my love begins to shine

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# You're the only girl I know

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# That can really love me so in the midnight hour

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# Oh, yeah, in the midnight hour

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# Yeah, all right Play it for me one time now... #

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SHE SCREAMS

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WOLF LAUGHS

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Hey, wait a minute, Joe. Ain't we in the wrong picture?

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That title don't say nothing about Little Red Riding Hood. See?

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"Swing Shift Cinderella." Well, I'll be...

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"Swing Shift Cinderella, huh?

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Erm...now you run along, honey. I'll see you later. Yeah.

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Cinderella, eh? Now, there's a babe I'd like to meet.

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HE WHISTLES Hey, taxi!

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Erm, beg your pardon, miss.

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I was looking for that babe they call Swing Shift...

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HE HYPERVENTILATES

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Wow-woo!

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Yoo-hoo!

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Just call me Shorty.

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Hello, Fairy Godmother. Oh, yes. Bless your heart. It's you, darling.

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What's cooking, child?

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Listen, Granny. If you're going to get me to that ball tonight, you'd better get over here.

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There's a wolf in the house. A wolf? Yahoo!

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Yahoo!

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REVVING

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Stick around, big boy. I'll be right back.

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OK, dearie. Off you go to the ball.

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HE WHISTLES

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Why, Grandmother. You do wave a mean wand, don't you, old girl?

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Have a good time, darling.

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But remember, you must be home by 12 o'clock. Very well, Grandmother.

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12 o'clock.

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Come on, Superwolf.

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Whoops. Go on and count to ten.

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HE SCREAMS

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ANNOUNCER: And now, that fascinating little fairy-tale fireball,

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that super duper little pin-up princess,

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Swing Shift Cinderella!

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# All the chicks are crazy for a certain burly wolf

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# A real sharp curly, curly wolf

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# Whose line is oh so smooth when he spreads it on

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# Sharp or smooth he's in the groove

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# Where lovin' is a cinch

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# And all the babes in town trail him around

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# Just to hold his paw and say

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# Oh, wolfie! Oh, wolfie! Ain't you the one?

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# Oh, wolfie! Oh, wolfie! Ain't we got fun?

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# You send the shivers up my spine

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# And when you're near I just can't sit still a minute

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# I'm so oh, wolfie! Oh, wolfie! Please tell me, do

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# What makes me love you so?

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# You're not rugged, it's true

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# But when I look at you I just Oh, wolfie! Oh, wolfie!

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# You're not rugged, it's true

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# But when I look at you

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# I just oh, wolfie

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# Oh, wolfie

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# Oh, wolfie... #

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Uh-oh.

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CLOCK CHIMES

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Well, thank heavens. I finally got rid of that wolf.

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Oh, yeah? That's what you think, sister!

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THEY HOWL

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I don't know about you but I'm feeling a bit peckish.

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Fancy a midnight snack?

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I'm just going to rustle something up next door.

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This cat has got, you know, the real deal going about him.

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I won't be long.

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# I know someday, chucky your love will soon run out

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# So stop from running up your mouth

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# Cos I know this water is rough and in prison it's very tough

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# And that's where you'll surely reach someday

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# So don't you chuck it up, chuck it up

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# All right, chuck it

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# Cos you will surely go to jail

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# So stop from rough it up, rough it up

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# All right, all right

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# Chucky

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# Cos you won't really get no bail

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# Cos chucky no lucky Oh, no

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# Chucky bad lucky now

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# That's the truth Chucky no lucky

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# All right So throw away your bucky

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# Sing again

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# Chucky no lucky Oh, no

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# Chucky bad lucky now

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# All right Chucky no lucky

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# So throw away your bucky

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# I heard you going around till you've got your bucky for defence

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# And last night I heard you jump too fas'

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# So please stop wandering round

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# And make innocent people feel sad, friend

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# Cos you will surely get your pay

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# So don't you chuck it up, chuck it up

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# All right

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# Chucky

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# Cos you will surely go to jail

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# So stop from rob it up, rob it up

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# All right, all right

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# Chucky

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# Cos you won't really get no bail, yeah

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# Cos chucky no lucky Oh, no

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# Chucky bad lucky now All right

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# Chucky no lucky Oh, no

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# So throw away your bucky Sing again

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# Chucky no lucky All right

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# Chucky bad lucky Uh-huh

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# Chucky no lucky Yeah, yeah

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# All right So throw away your bucky

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# Mm Chucky no lucky

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# Where you gone? Chucky bad lucky now

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# Got to run Chucky no lucky... #

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Shepherd's pie. This is the all-time fave. Yeah.

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Not complete without the HP Sauce.

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It's more addictive than anything I know. Believe me.

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I've always wondered how actors ate that crap.

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Y'know, "Take 47!" You know.

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The favourite's always been shepherd's pie

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because you get to a show and you haven't eaten

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and you don't want to eat, like, something really solid

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and a shepherd's pie is like babyfood.

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It's mush, you know, but at the same time it tastes great.

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Basically shepherd's pie is pure fuel. Ask any shepherd.

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Doris, me mum, used to make the odd one.

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Gus, my grandfather, made a great one.

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The best tip I can give anybody who knows anything about shepherd's pie

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was told to me by my old late, great security man,

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Big Joe Seabrook from Wembley.

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Certain people around that area will know him damn well.

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He told me that the real secret is to chop up a few onions...

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Now, this is secret. This is top secret. I'm not kidding you. Yeah.

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You know, a few more chopped onions

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just before you put the spuds on top of the pie

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and before you put it in the oven.

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That's the tip. That does add zest to the whole thing.

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Cos there's onions in there already, you see,

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but they're already cooked so put some fresh ones in before it goes in the oven.

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It was, I thought, a crowning glory on the shepherd's pie.

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# Take me now, baby, here as I am

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# Pull me close Try and understand

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# Desirous hunger is the fire I breathe

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# Love is a banquet on which we feed

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# Come on now Try and understand

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# The way I feel when I'm in your hands

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# Take my hand Come undercover

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# They can't hurt you now

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# Can't hurt you now Can't hurt you now

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# Because the night belongs to lovers

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# Because tonight belongs to lust

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# Because the night belongs to lovers

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# Because the night belongs to us

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# Have I doubt when I'm alone

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# Love is a ring A telephone

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# Love is an angel disguised as lust

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# Here in my bed until the morning comes

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# Come on now Try and understand

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# The way I feel when I'm in your hands

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# Take my hand as the sun descends

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# They can't touch you now

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# Can't touch you now Can't touch you now

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# Because the night... Lovers

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# Because the night Belongs to love

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# Because the night Belongs to lovers

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# Because the night Belongs to love

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# With love we sleep

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# We doubt the vicious circle burns and turns

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# Without you, oh, I cannot live

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# Forgive the yearning, burning

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# I believe it's time to heal Be real

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# Touch me now Touch me now

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# Touch me now

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# Because the night Belongs to lovers

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# Because the night Belongs to love

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# Because the night Belongs to lovers

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# Because the night

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# Because the night We believe in the night for lovers

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# Because the night We believe in the night we trust

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# Because the night Belongs to lovers

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# Because the night Belongs to love. #

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I stayed up for nine days in a row once,

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which I think is pretty much a world record.

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Don't try that at folks, home.

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Perfect! Don't try that at home, folks.

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It was an astounding thing in that, you know...

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People would come by every day.

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You know, friends and, you know, certain business

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and I'd still be...

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..there and up and I would see them and go, "Oh, you've changed."

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You know, they'd changed clothes and everything and shaved

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and all kinds of daily things that people do which, meanwhile,

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I had just ploughed through because I'm playing music,

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I'm listening to it and I'm trying to figure things out.

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I don't recommend it really.

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Don't try and stay up for nine nights really, you know.

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After two days, three days, you go into a zone...

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Don't try that in Folkestone.

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Everything is heightened. Every sense is heightened.

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Don't try that in Scunthorpe.

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Hey, if you've never been there you'll never know.

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Don't try that in Cardiff.

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I suppose if you've been up for nine days in a row,

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one could class yourself as an insomniac, right?

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That's the boy. Come along.

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I found it exciting to stay up for days.

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I mean, then I thought that I was actually, like, living my life

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instead of sleeping it away.

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I'm doing something.

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I felt I was... I was getting my money's worth.

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You've only got one life, y'know.

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I don't know. To some it's maybe just a maniac energy.

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It's built into this particular creature.

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Whatever I was doing, it was too interesting to crash out on.

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Usually music, you know.

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It might have been a book or maybe a movie or two.

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Talking about movies, just for sheer fun and great music,

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The Girl Can't Help It.

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There's some great acts on there.

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Little Richard's opening track is dynamite.

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Jayne Mansfield walks through that thing, y'know, like she owns it.

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There's Eddie Cochran in there, there's other cats.

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Gene Vincent and the Blue Caps.

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I mean, you've got an essential piece of early rock 'n' roll.

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Check it out and let me have a kip, all right?

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ORCHESTRA WARMS UP

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Ladies and gentlemen.

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