Fame is a Double Edge Sword Keith Richards' Lost Weekend


Fame is a Double Edge Sword

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Suddenly, the Stones were making some bread.

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I was going to buy them... And I set Mum up in

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a nice house that she likes and dah-dah...

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And the weirdest thing being that,

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within a year of me leaving home,

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Mum and Dad separated.

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The cuckoo's flown the nest!

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And I took care of Mum, you know?

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My dad, I had no contact with him until...

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1982.

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It was, like, 20 years later.

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And I meet this bloke...

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..that is totally different from the man I grew up with.

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Because I meet this little old...

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For him as rummy...

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and the pipe and rum, and that's the bit of me

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that I never got to know and so for the next 20 years,

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we lived together like that, you know? Like mates.

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And it was a great, great feeling. Yeah.

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Because I've been able to love my mum and finally get back

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together with the old man, and what an old bugger.

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And I showed him the world.

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"Come on, let's get on the plane and do this!"

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And, you know...

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And he was amazed and I heard from other people that

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he's very proud of me, which is, you know...

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You see, he worked for General Electric, making valves.

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And when I showed him what I worked with, which is, like,

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you know, Fender amplifiers, Gibson and that...

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..he would tell me every valve.

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"Oh, that's the A43, that's the 89."

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And suddenly I realised a weird connection between our lives.

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Without my amplifier, I'm nowhere.

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And he could tell me how it was built.

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# Just because you find yourself

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# Off the streets again

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# That don't mean that I can't help you

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# Or I ain't your friend

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# Baby, trouble is your middle name

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# Your trouble is that that's your game

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# Now you're out of circulation

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# Out of reach and out of touch

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# Let me keep you in the loop

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# Though I can't tell you much

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# Baby, trouble is your middle name

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# Your trouble is that that's your game

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# Oh, yeah

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# Ooh, baby, trouble. #

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And now, let's meet our first contestant.

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Will you come in and sign in, please.

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APPLAUSE

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All right, panel, as you probably have realised,

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there is an area of identification here that might be in

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appearance, costuming, name, some area of identification which

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would give you too much information, so you're blindfolded.

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Let's let the folks and our friends here in the theatre

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know exactly what your line is.

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APPLAUSE

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Right.

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Panel, our guest, who must also be an unnamed, is self-employed.

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With that, let's begin the general questioning with Arlene Francis.

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Are you associated with any of the arts?

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Yes.

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Um...

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Would you ever have been seen on television?

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Yes.

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Are you a performer?

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Yes.

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Um, would you be considered a leading man?

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Yes.

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RIPPLE OF LAUGHTER

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May I... I've got to move in here.

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Actually, in the general context of the questioning,

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we would have to accept that all the affirmative replies,

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except perhaps the last one, are not misleading in any major degree.

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However, I think the last answer IS misleading and we could not

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accurately describe our guest as a leading man.

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He's a misleading man! A misleading man, yes.

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One down and nine to go. Mr Cerf.

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Have you achieved eminence in some field other than television?

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Yes.

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Would it be the sort of exploit that might possibly reach

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the front page of a newspaper?

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Yes.

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Is it an exploit that's been on the front page of

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the newspapers within the past couple of weeks?

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Um, no. No? Two down and eight to go. Miss Kilgallen.

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Um, do you imagine that we're blindfolded because

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one or more of us would recognise you at sight?

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Yes.

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Hmm? Yes.

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Yes.

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Are you accustomed to appearing before audiences?

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Yes.

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When you appear before audiences,

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do you ever wear less then you're wearing now?

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LAUGHTER

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When you appear before audiences,

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do you ever wear less than you are wearing now?

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I would say that under certain specific conditions,

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it is not impossible that our guest would wear less than is

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being worn now, but it's not necessarily germane to what

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it is we're trying to arrive at.

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Is that a yes or a no? LAUGHTER

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That is a kind of up-and-down "yes".

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All right. Do you have anything to do with...

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sports or any form of athletic endeavour?

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Yes. LAUGHTER

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Small conference.

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THEY QUIETLY CONFER

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Yes. All right.

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Now, I think it would be too misleading to suggest that

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our guest had a basic affiliation with sports.

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This is not to say that it's not within the compass of his enjoyment

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to indulge in this particular endeavour. Thank you.

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Three down and seven to go. Mr Lawford.

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Do you appear continuously on television?

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By that I mean once a week or once a month, can I see you?

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No. No. Four down and six to go. Miss Francis.

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Do you use anything in your hands for your job?

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Yes.

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Would you be considered a writer? Yes.

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LAUGHTER

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There's nothing this man doesn't do.

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What we have to guess is an all-around man.

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Are you well-known because of a book that has been published of yours?

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Miss Arlene, if I may interrupt here,

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I would have to agree that we must consider that our guest is a writer.

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We're going to agree that we must consider that our guest is a writer?

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LAUGHTER

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The talents of our guest are not encompassed entirely in this area of work.

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Oh. Then you can do several things? Except sports.

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That a fair assumption, yeah. Uh-huh.

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Does he write humorously?

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Yes and no. LAUGHTER

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The answer then, I think, is properly yes and no.

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Oh.

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Um...does he ever do any drawing, like comic strips?

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Yes. LAUGHTER

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Yes?

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Is there something quite unusual about our guest?

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LAUGHTER

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I beg your pardon, Arlene? APPLAUSE

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I just ask if there is something unusual because everything

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that he does, the audience laughs about.

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You are a human being? LAUGHTER

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Very much so, Bennett. Very much so.

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Have you ever written a book that was published by my firm?

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Yes. LAUGHTER

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Is it possible that we have not yet struck upon

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the major thing that our guest is famous for?

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That is very possible.

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He is still maintaining that he's a performer?

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Well, yes,

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in the degree that he was asked if he had anything to do with

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the arts and then was asked if he was a performer.

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In that large context, we would have to accept

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that he was indeed a performer.

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THEY QUIETLY CONFER

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ARLENE FRANCIS: Do you want a conference?

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Yes, I'd love a conference, Arlene.

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Was there a call for a conference? May we have a conference, John?

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You may have 15 seconds for a conference,

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and I'm going to give you one minute more to get it.

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Ask if he could use his moustache to paint. Oh!

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Oh.

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Have you a moustache that is rather well-known,

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in fact, could you be almost caricatured just by that?

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Yes.

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Oh, well, thank you, Arlene. Are you Salvador Dali?

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Salvador Dali is right. APPLAUSE

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MUSIC: Fame by David Bowie

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Fame.

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Fame is something that everybody who isn't, wants to be, you know?

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At the same time it's...

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You'd better learn to live with it if you want to be famous.

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With the Stones, we didn't want to be famous,

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we just wanted to make records,

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and you immediately realise that

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in order to make a record, then it's PR and then it's fame,

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you know, almost immediately.

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You kind of saw the effect it had

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differently on different people around you, you know?

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I mean, I guess Brian Jones would be the famous example.

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One minute he's part of the band, great guy, you know, we're playing.

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Two weeks of fame and the man has gone bye-bye.

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Sky-high.

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That was the first illustration to me about fame, you know,

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with somebody I knew closely and we worked together

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getting this ancient form of weaving down.

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You know, we had two guitars sound like one,

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and you don't care who's doing what.

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And suddenly...

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..it was pie in the sky

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and, you know...whoa.

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And when you're working that hard, you're working 350 days a year, man.

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You know, bam, bam. Nonstop, you know?

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This is hard, hard road work

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and you don't have time to carry passengers.

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So you get antsy, you know?

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Mick certainly changed through fame.

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I probably have too, to a certain extent,

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but I mean, I've always...

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kind of...

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I'm very anti-showbiz and

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get carried away by it.

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To me it would be...

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a sort of failure of the spirit.

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There's a lot of downsides to fame, you know?

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I really have a fear of basically...

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Not a fear, but I just don't go to movie houses,

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I don't go to cinemas,

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because I find myself sitting there looking at the exit signs

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and just waiting for one asshole to go,

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"It's Keith Richards!"

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and then I ruin the movie for everybody and I go do a runner.

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A lot of things get taken away from you by being famous.

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I'd like to be famously anonymous, really.

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Fame's the two-edged sword.

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And it's ouch. Whichever side of the blade cuts you,

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it's going to cut you.

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But you live with it,

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and I mean, I've been 19,

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I've been a bloody star, you know?

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I've been anti-star, you know...all the time,

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but I realised it's a losing fight, quite honestly.

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Some people love it.

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Ronnie loves being famous

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and he can handle it.

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He doesn't mind bumping into crowds of people going,

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"Hey, Ronnie, I love you!"

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and bless his heart.

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But I did a lot of hiding, you know,

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hence the heroin. Yeah.

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It was my escape, you know?

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Night-time brings on ideas of mystery, possibilities, dreams.

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Even though you're awake, you're dreaming.

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# Last night your shadow fell upon my lonely room

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# I touched your golden hair and tasted your perfume

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# Your eyes were filled with love the way they used to be

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# Your gentle hand reached out to comfort me

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# Then came the dawn

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# And you were gone

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# You were gone, gone, gone

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# I had too much to dream last night

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# Too much to dream

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# I'm not ready to face the light

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# I had too much to dream

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# Last night

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# Last night

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# The room was empty as I staggered from my bed

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# I could not bear the image racing through my head

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# You were so real that I could feel your eagerness

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# And when you raised your lips for me to kiss

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# Came the dawn

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# And you were gone

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# You were gone, gone, gone

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# I had too much to dream last night

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# Too much to dream

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# I'm not ready to face the light

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# I had too much to dream

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# Last night

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# Last night

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# Oh, too much to dream

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# Oh, too much to dream... #

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Night-time, you feel an extra sense of freedom than you do in the day.

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And I guess you can get addicted to it,

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or you get so used to it that it becomes normal.

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Good evening.

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Alfred, well, he's so intriguing, ain't he?

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You still wonder what the dirty old man was up to.

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He had a way of telling a story.

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39 Steps, that opening scene in the musical with Mr Memory...

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Mr Memory. APPLAUSE

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..and the MC and the bloke going,

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"What causes pip in poultry?"

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You know, it's brilliant cinema.

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I can still remember the song.

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HE SINGS TUNE

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See, musical.

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And then, of course, the whole thing's changed with the gunshot.

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GUNSHOT It was the usual McGuffin, you know,

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the missing finger.

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We all know Alf made many others,

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but I thought that one is particularly British.

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