Architect of Sound Keith Richards' Lost Weekend


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Transcript


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Do you feel you're part of the establishment or still the person you were at the beginning?

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I've never seen myself as part of anything like that...

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certainly not part of the establishment.

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Probably, by now, you know, it's a matter of how people view me.

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Is it just because I've been around so long

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I'm obviously part of an establishment?

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Everybody has to make your own mind up about that.

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I'm not established, as far as I'm concerned!

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BBC Television presents Tony Hancock in...

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Hancock's Half Hour.

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APPLAUSE

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"Lord Bute of Normanhurst. James, Fourth Duke of Rivermount.

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"Sir Giles Sanderstead, 17th Earl of Westerham."

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Oh, the history that lies between these pages.

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"Title created in 1263."

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Isn't that marvellous?

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Oh, to be in England now that gents are here.

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H, here we are.

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"Sir Hilary Haddersley of Huntingdon.

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"Henry, Duke of Hanby. Thomas, Fifth Earl of Heston."

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That's where I'd go - in-between those two.

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Hancock, 1st Duke of Cheam.

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What a lovely sound that has. The Duke of Cheam.

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Think of all the pubs I could have named after me.

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I can just see it, me old portrait up there in a high wind,

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swinging backwards and forwards with the best of 'em.

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Who shall I let have it, a big brewery or a free house?

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"Come on, boys, what about a pint down the old Duke of Cheam tonight?"

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HE LAUGHS There's immortality for you.

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KNOCK AT DOOR Ah, the postman.

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BELL RINGS

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What do you want?

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"What do you want?"

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You don't come in here and say, "What do you want?"

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You say, "You rang, sir."

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I know you rang, it's up on a board. What do you want?

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I believe the postman has called. Go and fetch the letters in.

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You go and get 'em! What do you think I am, a lackey or something?

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Until such time as you can pay for your room and board, yes.

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If you don't like it, you can load up your barrow and leave.

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Just wait, mate, just wait. One good night at the dogs and I'm gone!

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Enough. The familiarity of the below stairs staff

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is becoming quite ludicrous.

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No wonder some of the great old families have

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pushed off to the Bahamas. Do me a favour.

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Ever since you got hold of this second-hand copy of

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Burke's Peerage, you've gone right off!

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Any more of that backchat, James,

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and I shall make you clean all the silver again.

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All the silver - two British Railways forks

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and a sugar spoon from Margate!

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Oh, honestly, Sid, you're hopeless. You've got no idea.

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You're supposed to be a gentleman's gentleman.

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Let's have a little delicacy.

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Go to the pictures and see how Arthur Treacher does it.

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Go on, go and get the letters, there's a good chap. Oh, blimey...

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Shall I bring 'em here in the drawing room, sir?

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Can't you see I'm reading? This is the library today.

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Go on, be off with you.

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I'll have to get rid of him as soon as me title comes through.

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He's all right, as long as I'm a commoner, but I'll have to get

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a professional as soon as I've had the sword on the shoulder.

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The mail, sir, Your Highness. Thank you.

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Any news from the Prime Minister? No.

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A final rate demand, half a dozen soap coupons, and the gas bill.

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Oh, well, send the soap coupons to the gas company

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and tell 'em to knock 'em off me account.

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Are you sure there's nothing from Number Ten?

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Oh, blimey, don't you ever give up?

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The New Year's Honours List has been out for months now.

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They've had the draw and all the winners have been picked,

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and your number hasn't come up, same as your Ernie bond!

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They don't run it like the Ernie bond!

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They're picked for their services to the community.

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I can't understand it, I've been overlooked again.

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I thought I was a stone banker this year.

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Alec Guinness got a knighthood, why shouldn't I?

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Oh, I get it - you're jealous. No, I'm not jealous.

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I'm not carping about Alec, he deserves it, he's a good lad.

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Never drunk, no punch-ups.

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Credit to the profession, more power to his elbow.

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But I think I'm entitled to a little recognition as well.

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I told the Prime Minister when I applied for it,

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I put me qualifications down.

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Three years in the Home Guard.

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I stood alone round here, mate.

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The only thing between Hitler and East Cheam.

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Guarding the highways of the nation, I was.

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Every night, lying in the bushes on the roundabout waiting for 'em.

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That's not enough for a knighthood! Well, there were other things!

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They took my front gate to build a battleship!

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And they never brought it back after the war, I might add.

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I did everything they asked of me.

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I dug for victory, ate more potatoes,

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went to it, kept mum, carried me gas mask.

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Surely these things must count for something. What more do they want?

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But everybody in the country did all those things!

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You can't have 50 million dukes and duchesses knocking around!

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"Good afternoon, sir,

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"the Earl of West Drayton has come to empty your dustbin!"

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What are you talking about?!

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Well, I still feel I've been slighted.

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It's not only Alec. It's all the others as well.

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Sir Laurence Oliver,

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Sir Ralph Richardson, Sir John Gingold - all that mob.

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If it's good enough for them, it's good enough for me.

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But they got their knighthoods for their services to the theatre.

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And what about MY services to the theatre?

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For 12 years now, I've graced the British stage with my performances -

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performances that will never be seen again.

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That's true.

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Sneer, that's it. You never did see me in pantomime, did you?

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My rendition of Buttons had a depth of meaning

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which astounded everybody who saw it

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and I did it without a guitar.

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A whole performance in the best tradition of

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the Russian theatre and Stanislavsky.

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You mean you didn't get any giggles.

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I didn't try to get any giggles, I saw the part as a tragedy.

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Tragedy? Blimey, it was a disaster.

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You got paid off on a Wednesday, didn't you?

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That's got nothing to do with it. I was ahead of me time, that's all.

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They didn't want me to use the method to play Buttons.

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That shows you what fools they were.

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NEW YORK ACCENT OK, Cinders, you want to...

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You want to go to the ball, huh, huh, huh? Yeah?

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OK, well, get your sweater and the jeans on, kid. Hmm, uh, yeah? Yeah.

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Er, who's the big slob with the wand, huh? Mm, uh?

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Of course, they're all doing it now, but I was the first, mate!

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I reckon that alone's worth an OBE.

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What about my charity work for the theatre? What charity work?

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Founder of the Fund For Destitute Comedians!

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Well, what good is that? You're the only one who's drawn on it!

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That's not the point, the thought was there,

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and my home is always open to out-of-work actors.

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They know they can always come there and get a meal and a bed for

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a paltry sum. Ten knicker a week? Paltry?

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Well, some of 'em made good money in their day,

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I don't see why I should suffer.

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And never any recognition at all, not a nibble.

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Any little knick-knack would have done.

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A couple of garters and a bath, I don't mind.

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I'm not fussy, and it would have been nice,

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given a bit of prestige to the television show.

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"Sir Anthony Hancock's Half Hour."

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It doesn't matter what you've done, mate, you'll never get a knighthood.

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You can't carry a title like that living in these cheap rooms!

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Well, of course, I realise that.

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But if I did receive an honour like that, I should naturally move

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to more knightly surroundings, back to Hancock Towers.

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The old baronial hall, I never told you about that, a marvellous place.

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One of the stateliest homes of England.

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Gothic motives with Romanesque perpendicular tracery.

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A gem of architectural beauty.

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The great sweep of the drive, one of Capability Brown's masterpieces.

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Approach through great iron gates

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with the family crest done in gold leaf.

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The majestic building rising out of the valley,

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a marble doorway flanked either side by heraldic beasts.

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Rearing rhinoceri with crowns on their snouts!

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The turrets and battlements commanding and solid,

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the huge centre tower hewn out of the solid rock of old England.

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The east wing and the west wing be-spattered with arrow slits

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through which sped 1,000 arrows.

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Built to withstand the onslaught of invading hordes

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and the ravages of time.

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A lasting monument to the glory of mankind!

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What happened to it?

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It fell down.

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Anyway, if I got a knighthood, I could start recouping the family fortunes.

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I could gain my rightful inheritance,

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Lord of the Manor of East Cheam. How much is that worth?

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My dear Sidney, you can't value things like that

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in terms of mere money. Well, what's the good of it, then?

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What's the good of it?

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Only that it entitles me to ride on horseback into the

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counsel chamber in full armour with me sword drawn, that's all!

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Plus the gift of a pancake from me to the villagers on Shrove Tuesday.

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Oh, well, if I was you, mate, I'd still forget it.

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Television comics'll never get knighthoods.

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Well, I don't see why they shouldn't.

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Because it destroys the whole dignity of the thing, that's why!

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You can't have knights and earls galloping around shouting,

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"Hello, my darlings! Oi-oi, that's your lot!" You gone mad?

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Well, I suppose not.

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How can I get a title, Sid?

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In this game, boy, the legitimate theatre, that's the only way.

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You've got to get in with the cream -

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Wolfitt, Olivier, Richardson, not a comic among 'em.

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The Old Vic, boy, that's the game.

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Two Hamlets, one King Lear, and you're halfway home.

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Sid, I think you're right.

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Of course, I've been approaching it the wrong way.

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A professional fool can't hope to compete with international heavies

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the like of what them lot are.

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I shall have to brush up on me Shakespeare.

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I've got a copy of Treasure Island somewhere.

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You remember Robert Newton in that marvellous picture?

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I'll have this straight acting off in a couple of days,

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then, as you are my agent, you ring up the Old Vic

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and tell 'em I want to do Hamlet.

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You can't just ring up the Old Vic, "I want to do Hamlet",

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just like that! They've got a waiting list!

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Michael Redgrave's before you, he's got his name down!

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Do you honestly think they're going to mess about

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with Michael Redgrave if they can have me?

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Come on, we'll go down and speak to them personally.

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Now, you better run me a bath

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and lay out me clerical grey shade three.

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That's the one we've got lagging the pipes outside, innit?

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That's the one, yeah.

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Yeah, put an iron over it and put a couple of buttons on it, eh?

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Well, it won't be long now.

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Page 709. Hancock, Anthony. Sir...

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Yes, of course, Ralph.

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We'd be thrilled to have you do another season for us.

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Yes, any time you like.

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Yes, I've spoken to Larry,

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he said he'd love to do another Lear with you.

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Oh, yes, of course he wants Lear.

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Yes, that's what I thought you'd say.

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Well, look here, I'll pencil you in for Much Ado sometime next year.

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Jolly good. Bye.

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Good morrow, gentle sir. Good morrow. Oh, what can I do for you?

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You, sir, can do nothing for me. I wish to go straight to the top.

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I never bother with minions.

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Kindly inform Old Vic I'm here, I'll go straight in.

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I'm afraid there's no such person.

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You don't mean he's passed on? Oh, I am sorry.

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I'll have to send him a floral bouquet.

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Who do I have the pleasure of addressing, then, sir?

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I'm the Managing Director of the Old Vic Trust.

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That's all right, you'll do.

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Now, put me down for a fortnight of Henry Five Part I and II.

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How about the middle of April?

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I can fix it in-between Finsbury Park and Bolton.

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I'm awfully sorry but you have the advantage of me.

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Who did you say you were, exactly?

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Tell him who I am. This is Tony Hancock.

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Anthony Hancock. Yeah, Anthony Hancock.

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Oh. You still have the advantage of me.

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What exactly do you do?

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What exactly do I do?

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My dear sir, either you're jesting or you're looking for

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a punch up the hooter.

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I'm Hancock, the actor. Oh, you're an actor! That is so.

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Yes, I'm afraid we don't do auditions. Auditions?

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No, we only employ known actors here.

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If you leave your name and address to the casting department,

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they'll let you know if there is anything for you.

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Good afternoon.

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Don't scribble when you're talking to me, mush!

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How dare you!

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I'm just signing Sir Ralph's contract.

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I don't care whose con...

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Is that all he's getting? For a week?

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I say, this is Much Ado About Nothing, isn't it?

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I thought he was at least on a monkey.

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My dear sir, actors do not perform at the Old Vic for the money -

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they act here for the prestige.

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Oh, don't give me that. It's an income tax fiddle, isn't it?

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You pay 'em in oncers after the show, I know how it works.

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We do not pay them in oncers!

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This is all any star gets at the Old Vic. Let's get out of here.

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I can get you more than that for a baked bean commercial.

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Yes, I think your agent's quite right.

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I think you'd do better with the baked beans.

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Now, I'm a very busy man...

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Look, I'll put me cards on the table, I'm after the knighthood,

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and I'm not going to get it with the baked beans, am I?

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He's quite right, the prestige means more than the loot.

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Well, when do I start?

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I've got a better idea - get the knighthood first and then come back.

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No, no, no, I've gone into this, I know how it goes.

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The Old Vic, then the knighthood. Now, stop playing about.

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You've had Frankie Howerd here, you can have me.

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Yes, but we don't know your work.

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I mean, we have a very high standard here.

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Oh, well, if that's all that's bothering you,

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we'll show you something.

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Give him the funny walk. This kills 'em.

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He doesn't want to see the funny walk. He wants to see some acting.

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Oh, well, do the bit I like you doing.

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What, the bit I do in front of the mirror? Yes, you know, Hamlet,

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when he's on his tod, up there on the roof of Elsinki Castle.

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I assume you mean the soliloquy? Yeah, he can do that as well.

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Go on, impress him.

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Yes, yes, all right. Which shall I do?

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Charles Laughton, Edward Everett Horton or the Robert Newton?

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I think Robert Newton's your best. Right, a soliloquy from Hamlet.

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I take it you're familiar with this scene?

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The work has been performed here occasionally, yes.

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I don't want to flog myself to death

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if you don't know what it's all about, you know.

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Right, well, take it that the wings are over here,

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so I make me entrance in here...

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..with the parrot on me shoulder and the crutch.

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Then I go... Just a minute, a parrot and a crutch?

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I don't recollect a parrot and a crutch in Hamlet.

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It's my own interpretation of the part, do you mind?

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Every actor has his own idea of how Hamlet should be played...

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and I see it with the parrot on the shoulder and the crutch.

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That's all there is to it.

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Give the artist a little leeway in his characterisation.

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Yes, but you can't depart completely

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from the author's conception of the role.

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Are you arguing with the actor? No, I'm not, but...

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All right! I enter with the crutch and the parrot.

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Here. Now, put that fag out and do me a favour.

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Let's have the lights down a bit

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and, if you've got any coughing to do,

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do it now and let's get it over.

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Right, we're on, then!

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To be or not to be!

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That is the question, ha-harr!

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Whether tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of

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outrageous fortune, Jim lad!

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Or to take arms against a sea of troubles

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and by opposing end them!

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Get out. I beg your pardon?

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That was terrible. Hey, wait a minute.

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You can't talk like that to an artist of his standing.

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Sidney, please, you're my agent.

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Don't speak to that gentleman like that.

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Punch him one! Get stuck into him, go on!

0:15:090:15:12

Now, listen, gentlemen, there's no need for violence.

0:15:120:15:14

I may have been a little hasty in my judgment,

0:15:140:15:16

but you must admit your interpretation was a little unusual.

0:15:160:15:19

Shall I give you some advice? Go on.

0:15:190:15:21

I think you need a little more experience

0:15:210:15:23

before you appear at the Old Vic. I beg your pardon?

0:15:230:15:25

Well, not very much, but just a little bit of,

0:15:250:15:28

how shall we say, polish?

0:15:280:15:29

I mean, you wouldn't like to jeopardise your career

0:15:290:15:31

for the sake of lack of experience, would you?

0:15:310:15:33

No, of course not. Well, what do you have to suggest?

0:15:330:15:36

Why don't you go away? Yes, that would be a very good idea.

0:15:360:15:40

Go away and join a Shakespearean repertory company -

0:15:400:15:42

it's the best experience in the world -

0:15:420:15:44

all our stars have started like that. Then, in a few years' time...

0:15:440:15:48

Well, no, say a few months' time,

0:15:480:15:50

you can come back and we'll see what we can do for you.

0:15:500:15:53

Very well, I shall acquiesce to your suggestion.

0:15:530:15:55

I shall join a repertory company

0:15:550:15:56

and I shall be back here for the autumn season,

0:15:560:15:59

so pencil me in for Henry Five, Henry Six and Dick Three.

0:15:590:16:02

And, er, Henry IV Part II.

0:16:020:16:04

Or is it Henry the Two, Part Four?

0:16:050:16:07

Well... You'll have that sorted out by the time I come back, of course.

0:16:070:16:11

By the way, when you're making my name plate

0:16:110:16:13

to put on the dressing room door...

0:16:130:16:14

Yes? Leave a space in front of the name, eh?

0:16:140:16:16

Don't want to screw another bit on

0:16:160:16:17

for when the knighthood comes through, eh?

0:16:170:16:20

Farewell to thee, blithe spirit!

0:16:200:16:22

Here, do you do Shakespeare here all the time? No, not all the time.

0:16:250:16:29

Yeah, well, I just had an idea.

0:16:290:16:31

If we turn the place into a theatre club, put a few saucy birds in,

0:16:310:16:34

you know, artistic poses,

0:16:340:16:36

I think we'd be onto a few knicker there.

0:16:360:16:38

Call it The Sid James Revue Bar.

0:16:380:16:40

Just a thought.

0:16:420:16:43

Yes, yes, very interesting indeed, I'm sure, Mr Hancock, but,

0:16:560:16:59

er, do you mind if I give you some advice? Well?

0:16:590:17:02

Well, I feel you need a little more experience before coming to

0:17:020:17:06

the East Cheam Rep. Do I hear right?

0:17:060:17:09

Experience to join this seedy company?

0:17:090:17:11

You've already seen what I can do and, I might add,

0:17:110:17:14

I don't give an audition to any old hobbledehoy who asks me.

0:17:140:17:16

I admit that your interpretation was original,

0:17:160:17:19

but we do not play Hamlet with a crutch and a parrot at East Cheam!

0:17:190:17:22

Oh, what can you do with such uncultured fools?

0:17:220:17:24

No wonder we're known as the barbarians of Europe!

0:17:240:17:27

Imagination, sir, that's what... CLATTERING

0:17:270:17:29

Hello. That's what the theatre lacks.

0:17:290:17:31

AUDIENCE GIGGLES

0:17:310:17:34

Watch it over there.

0:17:340:17:35

The star's talking.

0:17:350:17:36

I don't think you quite comprehend the honour I'm offering you!

0:17:370:17:41

I'm willing to tread the boards of this tatty playhouse and lift it

0:17:410:17:44

from obscurity to a place of national prominence.

0:17:440:17:46

Well, if it's all the same to you, we'd prefer to remain obscure.

0:17:460:17:49

Here at East Cheam, we play Hamlet in the wigs and the tights

0:17:490:17:52

or not at all!

0:17:520:17:54

Have you tried a theatre workshop? I'm an actor, sir, not a carpenter.

0:17:540:17:58

Well, I'm very sorry, but you must have experience.

0:17:590:18:02

We do not take beginners here.

0:18:020:18:03

To act in Shakespeare, you must, as it were, start from the bottom.

0:18:030:18:08

HE CHUCKLES

0:18:080:18:10

Do you get that? Shakespeare? Midsummer Night's Dream? Bottom?

0:18:100:18:14

HE CHUCKLES

0:18:140:18:16

Yes, now, listen, you go away

0:18:170:18:18

and come back when you've had a little bit more experience.

0:18:180:18:22

Very well, varlet, I shall take my services to another management.

0:18:220:18:24

And when you're old and grey and your grandchildren ask you

0:18:240:18:27

what you did in the theatre, you'll be able to tell them that you

0:18:270:18:30

turned down Sir Anthony Hancock because you said he had no talent.

0:18:300:18:33

Good day to you. Come, Sidney, we will go elsewhere.

0:18:330:18:36

Here, if I could get a licence,

0:18:370:18:40

would you be interested in putting on a few girlie shows?

0:18:400:18:43

You know, taking them off, a few artistic poses? Members only? No?

0:18:430:18:46

He's right, mate, you haven't got any imagination!

0:18:460:18:49

To be or not to be, that is the question, ha-harr!

0:18:570:19:01

Whether tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of

0:19:030:19:06

outrageous fortunes, Jim lad,

0:19:060:19:09

or to take arms against a sea of troubles and by opposing end them!

0:19:090:19:13

Thank you, thank you very much. And now...

0:19:130:19:16

I haven't finished yet. Oh, yes, you have.

0:19:160:19:19

And now, for the first time at the Stratford Arms,

0:19:190:19:22

we welcome that little lady of striptease, Maisie Sprockett,

0:19:220:19:25

who will do her famous Dance of the Seven Veils.

0:19:250:19:28

CHEERING

0:19:280:19:30

What a fiasco!

0:19:370:19:39

Uncultured lot!

0:19:400:19:41

This is your fault. When you said you'd got two weeks at Stratford,

0:19:410:19:44

you might have added it was a pub.

0:19:440:19:46

Yugoslavian Riesling and a packet of fags, please, Harold.

0:19:460:19:50

I'll pay you at the end of the week.

0:19:500:19:51

It's not good enough, Sidney, an artist of my calibre

0:19:510:19:54

appearing in the four-ale bar of a local boozer. Best I could do!

0:19:540:19:57

Well, I'm not satisfied.

0:19:570:19:58

The Prime Minister will never get to hear me working down here. No.

0:19:580:20:02

I'm sure his talent scouts never go into boozers. No.

0:20:020:20:05

Are you listening to me? Yes, yes, yes, yes.

0:20:050:20:08

Surely you could have got me something better than this.

0:20:080:20:10

Could still have been a big draw.

0:20:100:20:12

SIDNEY CACKLES

0:20:120:20:14

You're not listening! Oh, she's a little cracker, ain't she?

0:20:140:20:17

I'm your client! Pay attention when I'm talking to you!

0:20:170:20:19

Three to go. Disgusting.

0:20:190:20:21

I don't know what pubs are coming to.

0:20:210:20:24

What chance has Shakespeare got against that kind of entertainment?

0:20:240:20:27

You wouldn't applaud and clap if I was to get up there

0:20:270:20:30

and take me socks off. Anyway, as I was saying...

0:20:300:20:32

Two to go. As I was saying...

0:20:320:20:35

How many? Two. Oh...

0:20:350:20:36

I say, that's a bit racy, isn't it?

0:20:390:20:41

It's not supposed to be all right, is it? Yes, it's all right.

0:20:410:20:45

Yeah, I can see that.

0:20:480:20:49

Hello, one to go. Your fags, sir. Shut up.

0:20:510:20:54

She's taking her time over this one. Yeah, well, she always does.

0:20:570:21:01

She's taunting us, you see.

0:21:010:21:02

Here it goes...

0:21:050:21:05

CROWD CHEERS Lights!

0:21:070:21:08

They've turned the lights out! Cheats, robbers!

0:21:080:21:11

She's gone! What a fiddle! Oh, shut up.

0:21:110:21:14

What do you expect? It's only surface, no point in it!

0:21:140:21:17

Thank you, Maisie. What a little darling, eh?

0:21:170:21:19

And now the Stratford Arms are proud to present one of our regulars,

0:21:190:21:22

Rupert Troy, who will sing Because.

0:21:220:21:25

STRANGULATED VOICE # Because you come to me

0:21:280:21:32

# With naught save love... #

0:21:320:21:36

Oh, no, I can't stand this, I'm going home!

0:21:360:21:39

You can't go home, boy, you've got another show in half an hour.

0:21:390:21:42

Three shows a night for two months, remember?

0:21:420:21:44

And with all that experience behind you,

0:21:440:21:46

we can go straight back to the East Cheam Rep.

0:21:460:21:48

# Because you come to me... #

0:21:480:21:52

Oh, no, too much of this, I couldn't stand it.

0:21:520:21:54

Another glass of Yugoslavian Riesling, please.

0:21:540:21:57

HE IMITATES SINGER

0:21:570:21:59

Oh, no, no, give us the whole bottle, mate. I've had enough...!

0:21:590:22:02

KNOCK AT DOOR Come in.

0:22:200:22:22

Oh, it's you two again, is it?

0:22:240:22:26

Didn't I tell you to go away and get some experience?

0:22:260:22:29

I've had more than enough experience for you, sir. Tell him.

0:22:290:22:32

Two months at Stratford. Stratford? Really?

0:22:320:22:35

Certainly, I've got a recommendation here from the management.

0:22:350:22:38

"Gave complete satisfaction to our customers

0:22:390:22:42

"in his rendition of Hamlet

0:22:420:22:43

"and never once was found drunk on the premises.

0:22:430:22:46

"Signed, the manager." There we are. Very impressive. Any press cuttings?

0:22:460:22:51

Press cuttings, yes, I've got one here. The Brewers Gazette.

0:22:510:22:54

"The best thing seen at the Stratford this year."

0:22:540:22:57

Brewers Gazette? That's a strange paper to be reporting

0:22:570:23:00

stage activities, isn't it?

0:23:000:23:01

Yeah, well, they were having an outing, you see,

0:23:010:23:04

and they reported it. Oh, I see, and, er,

0:23:040:23:06

they were impressed with your new interpretation?

0:23:060:23:08

Naturally, they were knocked out with it.

0:23:080:23:10

Ooh, well, what's good enough for Stratford's good enough for us.

0:23:100:23:14

We've never had anybody here from Stratford before.

0:23:140:23:16

Good, well, I shall play three title roles -

0:23:160:23:18

Richard III, Romeo, and Julius Caesar.

0:23:180:23:20

My own interpretation, of course.

0:23:200:23:22

Of course. Right, then, what about the contract?

0:23:220:23:24

Yes, well, we pay all our top stars seven pounds a week

0:23:240:23:26

plus their National Allowance stamp.

0:23:260:23:28

Blimey, we got more than that in the pub! What? Where?

0:23:280:23:30

He said we spent more than that in the pub entertaining after

0:23:300:23:33

the show, you know how it is, Larry and Viv and all that lot, you know.

0:23:330:23:36

As we all know, they're not half a pint of bitter merchants, no, no.

0:23:360:23:39

They're gin and tonic and glasses of red stuff with cherries in 'em

0:23:390:23:42

and all that.

0:23:420:23:44

Look, I want all the publicity I can get.

0:23:440:23:46

I want you to get the Prime Minister down with all his talent scouts.

0:23:460:23:49

Of course, when I get to the Old Vic, I want to be a big name.

0:23:490:23:51

Now, I want to get the whispers going round now

0:23:510:23:53

about the knighthood, right?

0:23:530:23:55

It won't be long now.

0:23:550:23:56

Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears.

0:24:160:24:20

I come to bury Caesar, not to praise him, ha-harr!

0:24:200:24:23

The evil that men do lives after them.

0:24:240:24:27

The good is oft interred with their bones, ha-harr!

0:24:270:24:30

MILD APPLAUSE

0:24:300:24:32

Now is the winter of our discontent

0:24:490:24:51

made glorious summer by this son of York.

0:24:510:24:54

Ha-harr!

0:24:540:24:55

And all the clouds that lour'd upon our house in the deep bosom

0:24:550:25:00

of the ocean buried, ha-harr!

0:25:000:25:02

Arr, there you are.

0:25:200:25:22

But soft. What light through yonder window breaks, ha-ha-harr!

0:25:220:25:27

It is the east, and Juliet is the sun, arr!

0:25:270:25:30

Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon,

0:25:300:25:33

who is already sick and pale with grief, ha-ha-ha-harr!

0:25:330:25:37

Good morrow, coz.

0:25:500:25:52

I and me agent laddie have returned to offer our services.

0:25:520:25:55

Oh, yes, you're the one I told to go away and learn a trade, aren't you?

0:25:550:25:59

Not learn a trade, learn the trade.

0:25:590:26:01

Oh, yes. Well, I have. Tell him.

0:26:010:26:03

Two months at Stratford and two months at East Cheam Rep.

0:26:030:26:07

Oh, really? So, what about it?

0:26:070:26:08

Yeah, you promised him, if he got some experience,

0:26:080:26:10

you'd give him a job. So I did.

0:26:100:26:13

Tell me, do you know all of Shakespeare's works?

0:26:130:26:16

All of them - which would you like to hear?

0:26:160:26:18

Titus, Much Ado, King Lear? I know the lot.

0:26:180:26:20

I'm going to take a chance.

0:26:200:26:21

I'm going to sign you up for the whole season -

0:26:210:26:23

five of Shakespeare's greatest plays.

0:26:230:26:25

What would you say to that?

0:26:250:26:27

Child's play.

0:26:270:26:28

You couldn't have found a better leading man.

0:26:280:26:30

At last, a star at the Old Vic.

0:26:300:26:33

Just to think that Maisie Sprockett could have been Lady Hancock...

0:26:330:26:37

and I told her not to mess about with that bloke who sang Because.

0:26:370:26:41

APPLAUSE

0:27:110:27:13

Now is the winter of our discontent made glorious summer by this

0:27:210:27:25

son of York and all the clouds that lour'd upon our house...

0:27:250:27:30

Er...

0:27:300:27:31

Lour'd...

0:27:320:27:33

Prompt. In the deep bosom of the ocean buried, ha-harr, Jim lad!

0:27:360:27:41

In the deep bosom of the ocean buried, ha-harr, Jim lad!

0:27:430:27:46

Prompt. Why don't you learn the lines?

0:27:490:27:53

Knighthood? They can't even see me.

0:27:530:27:54

Please! No.

0:27:540:27:56

Give me a line. No!

0:28:000:28:02

I'm the star, down here!

0:28:030:28:04

Here I am! Now is the winter of our discontent!

0:28:060:28:08

To be or not to be, that is the question!

0:28:080:28:10

Once more unto the breach, dear friends! Here I am, down here!

0:28:100:28:13

What about the knighthood? Hancock's the name. Give me a line!

0:28:130:28:16

D'a-a-agh!

0:28:160:28:18

He's not getting a knighthood through my talent. Any requests?

0:28:180:28:20

Any part you like. I've come to bury Caesar, not to praise him.

0:28:200:28:23

Any part you like. Here you are, Punch and Judy!

0:28:230:28:25

APPLAUSE

0:28:290:28:31

Seemed a long shot, I'm sure, but what if they, er,

0:29:100:29:13

they offered you a knighthood?

0:29:130:29:14

I would have to say no. I'm going to hang out for the peerage.

0:29:140:29:18

Anyway, I wouldn't let that family near me with a sharp stick,

0:29:200:29:23

let alone a sword, you know.

0:29:230:29:25

By now, I'm comfortable everywhere, you know.

0:29:290:29:31

I'm comfortable with royalty,

0:29:310:29:34

I'm comfortable, you know, with assholes,

0:29:340:29:36

and I'm comfortable all over the place.

0:29:360:29:40

At the same time, I'm still well aware of where I come from

0:29:400:29:43

and that, I mean, it's a shining example of what can happen

0:29:430:29:48

if you're talented and lucky like me, you know!

0:29:480:29:51

BIRD TWEETS

0:29:530:29:55

My heart aches

0:29:550:29:57

And a drowsy numbness pains my sense

0:29:570:30:01

As though of hemlock I had drunk

0:30:010:30:04

Or emptied some dull opiate to the drains one minute past

0:30:040:30:09

And Lethe-wards had sunk

0:30:090:30:12

Tis not through envy of thy happy lot

0:30:120:30:15

But being too happy in thy happiness

0:30:150:30:18

That thou, light-winged Dryad of the trees

0:30:180:30:23

In some melodious plot of beechen green

0:30:230:30:26

And shadows numberless

0:30:260:30:29

Singest of summer in full-throated ease.

0:30:290:30:34

Are there things that you hated as a young guy that you now like?

0:30:370:30:43

Vera Lynn.

0:30:430:30:44

THEY LAUGH

0:30:440:30:46

Yeah, you know, little things like that, you know.

0:30:490:30:53

# Born free

0:30:530:30:56

# And life is worth living

0:30:560:31:01

# But only worth living

0:31:010:31:05

# If you're born

0:31:050:31:11

# Free. #

0:31:110:31:14

DUSTBIN LID CLATTERS

0:31:140:31:16

CLATTERING

0:31:260:31:28

What the flipping 'eck?

0:31:280:31:29

# Whoa!

0:31:340:31:36

MICK PLAYS HARMONICA

0:31:390:31:41

# Talkin' 'bout the midnight rambler

0:31:470:31:49

# Everybody got to go

0:31:500:31:53

# Talkin' 'bout the midnight rambler

0:31:540:31:57

# The one you never seen before

0:31:580:32:00

# Sighin' down the wind so sadly

0:32:020:32:04

# Listen and you'll hear me moan

0:32:060:32:08

# Talkin' 'bout the midnight rambler

0:32:100:32:12

# Everybody got to go

0:32:130:32:15

# Talkin' 'bout the midnight gambler

0:32:230:32:25

# The one you never seen before

0:32:270:32:29

# Talkin' 'bout the midnight rambler

0:32:310:32:33

# Did you see me jump the garden wall?

0:32:340:32:37

# Sighin' down the wind so sadly

0:32:380:32:41

# Listen and you'll hear me moan

0:32:420:32:44

# Talkin' 'bout the midnight gambler

0:32:460:32:48

# Everybody got to go... #

0:32:500:32:52

Come on!

0:32:570:32:58

MICK PLAYS HARMONICA

0:32:590:33:01

# Talkin' 'bout the midnight rambler

0:33:150:33:17

# Well, honey, it's no rock and roll show

0:33:190:33:21

# Talkin' 'bout the midnight gambler

0:33:230:33:25

# Everybody got to go... #

0:33:270:33:29

Come on, now, come on!

0:33:320:33:34

Woo!

0:33:340:33:35

Getting funky now!

0:33:350:33:37

MICK PLAYS HARMONICA

0:34:320:34:34

# Yeah, baby, that's all right, now... #

0:34:550:34:57

How we still going?

0:35:070:35:09

# Yeah! Now, don't do that

0:35:190:35:20

# Don't do that

0:36:210:36:22

# Don't do that

0:36:240:36:25

# And don't do that

0:36:280:36:29

# And don't do that

0:36:320:36:33

# And don't do that

0:36:350:36:36

# Don't do...

0:36:390:36:40

# Don't do that

0:36:430:36:44

# Don't do that

0:36:460:36:47

# And don't do that

0:36:500:36:51

# Now don't do that

0:37:000:37:01

# Yeah

0:37:100:37:11

# Oh, yeah

0:37:440:37:45

# Oh, yeah

0:37:480:37:50

# Oh, yeah

0:37:530:37:54

# And, oh, yeah

0:37:570:37:58

# But, oh, yeah

0:38:000:38:02

# And, oh, yeah

0:38:040:38:06

# And, oh, yeah

0:38:090:38:11

# And everybody say a-aow!

0:38:180:38:19

CROWD: A-aow!

0:38:190:38:21

# And everybody say a-aow!

0:38:210:38:23

CROWD: A-aow!

0:38:230:38:25

# Everybody at Glastonbury say a-aow!

0:38:250:38:27

CROWD: A-aow!

0:38:270:38:30

# Mm-hm...

0:38:300:38:33

# Whoo! CROWD: Whoo!

0:38:330:38:35

# Whoo! CROWD: Whoo!

0:38:350:38:37

# Whoo! CROWD: Whoo!

0:38:370:38:38

# Whoo! CROWD: Whoo!

0:38:380:38:40

# Whoo! CROWD: Whoo!

0:38:400:38:41

# Oh, yeah

0:38:410:38:43

# Well, you heard about the Boston...

0:38:500:38:55

# Well, now, honey it's not one of those

0:38:590:39:03

# Well, I'm just talking about the midnight

0:39:060:39:12

# Well, the one you've never seen before

0:39:140:39:18

# He's called the hit-and-run raper in anger

0:39:210:39:26

# Or just a knife-sharpened tippie-toes

0:39:280:39:32

# Or just the shoot 'em dead brainbell jangler

0:39:340:39:39

# Everybody got to go

0:39:410:39:45

# Listen for the midnight rambler

0:39:470:39:51

# Play it easy as you go

0:39:530:39:56

# I'm gonna smash down all your plate glass windows

0:39:590:40:03

# Put a fist through your steel-plate door

0:40:050:40:09

# And if you ever catch the midnight rambler

0:40:110:40:15

# Play it easy, easy as you go

0:40:170:40:21

# Well, he's pouncing like proud black panther

0:40:230:40:28

# People, they'll say I told you so... #

0:40:290:40:33

Come on.

0:40:430:40:44

Come on!

0:40:460:40:48

# Talking about the midnight gambler

0:41:310:41:35

# Everybody got to go

0:41:350:41:38

# Talk about the midnight rambler

0:41:380:41:41

# Yeah, the one you never seen before

0:41:410:41:44

# So, if you ever catch the midnight rambler

0:41:440:41:48

# Steal your mistress from under your nose

0:41:480:41:51

# I'll go easy with your cold-fanged anger

0:41:510:41:55

# I'll stick my knife right down his throat. #

0:41:550:41:58

MICK: Thank you!

0:42:090:42:10

KEITH: 'When you come off stage, you might be knackered,

0:42:120:42:14

'but with thousands of people in front of you going, "Yeah, man!"

0:42:140:42:18

'And you're getting this incredible feedback and energy

0:42:180:42:22

'and they're singing the songs for you.

0:42:220:42:24

'I mean, you could actually not bother half the time.

0:42:240:42:29

'No. It's a feeling that can't really be described.

0:42:290:42:32

Unfortunately, you can't all do it, can you?

0:42:320:42:35

But I've been there and it's my job.

0:42:350:42:37

You go out there on stage and you have a huge audience who have paid

0:42:390:42:43

their Goddamn money to come and see you.

0:42:430:42:46

And they give you all the love they got and you feel kind of honoured.

0:42:460:42:50

And you just try and give them the best you've got.

0:42:500:42:53

How can you fail?

0:42:530:42:56

I mean, you can screw up or whatever,

0:42:560:42:59

but it gives you a feeling that...

0:42:590:43:02

Man, you know, if they're here

0:43:030:43:06

and they're giving me this amount of energy,

0:43:060:43:09

I'd rather croak onstage than, like, flake it.

0:43:090:43:13

I go out there and I want to do it just a little bit better

0:43:150:43:22

than I did it the night before.

0:43:220:43:25

And I think there's a collective feeling in this band.

0:43:250:43:28

They're never, any of them, go out there and say,

0:43:280:43:31

"Oh, we're going to churn it out."

0:43:310:43:33

It wouldn't be possible with this band.

0:43:330:43:37

In that way, they're workaholics.

0:43:370:43:40

Including me, probably worse than the rest of them.

0:43:400:43:43

It's an amazing job, man. Yeah.

0:43:430:43:45

You know, I don't mind doing another half an hour.

0:43:450:43:48

MUSIC: In A Dis A Time by The Itals

0:43:520:43:55

# Whoa, whoa, yeah

0:43:550:43:58

# Yeah, yeah, my bredren You got to know yourself

0:43:580:44:05

# In a dis a time

0:44:050:44:08

# Man you have the mind

0:44:080:44:11

# You get carry away by captivity

0:44:110:44:14

# Carry away by captivity

0:44:140:44:18

# In a dis a time

0:44:180:44:20

# How do them say themselves Jah?

0:44:200:44:24

# For 30 pieces of silver

0:44:240:44:28

# Jah Jah live forever

0:44:280:44:30

# Him a go come with lightening and thunder

0:44:300:44:34

# In a dis a time

0:44:340:44:37

# Any one can tell a lie

0:44:370:44:40

# But the truth reveal itself

0:44:400:44:44

# All you a go say that you love Jah Jah

0:44:440:44:49

# Yet y'all fight tribal against ya brother

0:44:490:44:52

# In a dis a time # In a dis a time

0:44:520:44:57

# You lie and knew what you wanna know

0:44:570:45:00

# Some son he got to take a blow

0:45:000:45:04

# Man have to know himself don't you know

0:45:040:45:07

# Birds tangled by them feet

0:45:070:45:10

# Man a go tangled by them tongue

0:45:100:45:13

# So it was written So it must be done

0:45:130:45:16

# In a dis a time, yeah In a dis a time

0:45:160:45:21

# In a dis a time, yeah In a dis a time, yeah

0:45:210:45:28

# All you a go say that you love Jah Jah

0:45:310:45:35

# Yet y'all fight tribal against ya brother

0:45:350:45:39

# In a dis a time, yeah In a dis a time, yeah

0:45:390:45:45

# In a dis a time

0:45:450:45:47

# You lie and knew what you wanna know

0:46:020:46:04

# Some son he got to take a blow

0:46:040:46:08

# Man have to know himself don't you know

0:46:080:46:11

# Birds tangled by them feet

0:46:110:46:14

# Man a go tangled by dem tongue

0:46:140:46:17

# So it was written So it must be done

0:46:170:46:20

# In a dis a time, yeah In a dis a time

0:46:200:46:25

# In a dis a time, me breadren In a dis a time

0:46:260:46:32

# You got to know yourself, yeah

0:46:320:46:36

# You have to know ya self, yeah

0:46:360:46:40

# In a dis a time Oh, my bredren. #

0:46:400:46:44

LION ROARS

0:46:570:46:59

Whoa!

0:47:310:47:33

Stick 'em up!

0:47:400:47:42

Give me a Neapolitan.

0:47:500:47:52

Make mine a tutti-frutti.

0:47:520:47:55

GUNSHOTS

0:48:110:48:13

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

0:48:130:48:17

Come on, horse!

0:48:170:48:19

Whoa!

0:48:190:48:21

GUNSHOT

0:48:210:48:22

Howdy. Sure glad to see you.

0:48:290:48:32

Howdy, Slim. Glad to see you too.

0:48:320:48:35

Yeah, turning chicken.

0:48:450:48:47

Get out of here.

0:48:580:49:00

HE WHIMPERS

0:49:010:49:03

SLURPING

0:49:120:49:13

Hey, waiter.

0:49:170:49:19

WHISPERS

0:49:190:49:21

BANG!

0:49:250:49:27

GUNSHOTS

0:49:300:49:32

# I wanna drink my java from an old tin can

0:49:340:49:38

# While the moon is riding high

0:49:380:49:41

# I wanna listen to the whippoorwill

0:49:410:49:45

# I wanna hear a coyote cry... #

0:49:450:49:49

HE HOWLS

0:49:490:49:51

Bang.

0:49:510:49:52

Waiter!

0:49:540:49:55

# I want to kick him in the side

0:49:550:49:57

# Just to show his step and pride

0:49:570:50:00

# Back on the Texas plains. #

0:50:000:50:02

SHE YODELS

0:50:020:50:06

Hey, girl. How about a kiss, eh?

0:50:070:50:11

APPLAUSE

0:50:160:50:19

Let's get him, boys.

0:50:260:50:28

HORN BLARES

0:50:320:50:34

COMMENTATOR: There they go!

0:50:360:50:38

And it's Time Supplying going to the front from Extend The Hat.

0:50:380:50:41

Golden Boy second by half a length.

0:50:410:50:44

And into the turn, Gallant Fox on the outside.

0:50:440:50:47

And here comes Not A Chance!

0:50:470:50:49

All right, girl.

0:50:580:50:59

I'm a-taking that kiss.

0:50:590:51:01

Uh-oh, the posse.

0:51:040:51:05

I'll see you later.

0:51:090:51:11

Whoa!

0:51:190:51:21

Hey, waiter!

0:52:200:52:22

Whoa!

0:52:450:52:47

And now, my proud beauty, I'll be getting that kiss.

0:53:260:53:30

Hey, now. Wait a minute, Shorty.

0:53:340:53:37

You've been a-dogging me all through this picture.

0:53:370:53:40

Just who the heck are you anyway?

0:53:400:53:43

Why, haven't you heard?

0:53:430:53:45

I'm the hero.

0:53:450:53:46

Hey, waiter.

0:53:490:53:50

My hero.

0:53:540:53:55

YA-HOO!

0:53:570:53:59

How about kids? Obviously, being a father changes everything.

0:54:110:54:14

Well, yeah.

0:54:140:54:16

It's what's supposed to happen, you know?

0:54:160:54:18

You're supposed to grow up, have kids,

0:54:180:54:21

and you love them and you grow 'em up as best you can.

0:54:210:54:26

I've got five grandkids.

0:54:260:54:28

I was in my room here last night.

0:54:280:54:31

There were only two people in the room that were not from my loins

0:54:310:54:35

and there's about 10 people in the room, right.

0:54:350:54:38

And one was Marlon's wife, Lucy, and one was my wife.

0:54:380:54:43

The rest of them... I thought, "Jesus Christ!"

0:54:430:54:48

Responsible.

0:54:480:54:50

I don't know. Are they all mine?

0:54:500:54:52

And have they all got my blood running in them?

0:54:520:54:55

I have granddaughters leap... I don't even want them to leap on me

0:54:550:54:58

and say, "Grandpa, I love you," and I just woke up, you know?

0:54:580:55:01

But, you know, you can't deny it.

0:55:030:55:05

It's like, "Come here, give us a hug."

0:55:050:55:08

What do you get from them? Oh, love.

0:55:080:55:12

You give it, you get it back - simple as that.

0:55:120:55:15

We all take care of each other and...stuff like that

0:55:150:55:20

and it's, I mean, hard to put into words.

0:55:200:55:24

But it's just love, really.

0:55:240:55:28

Family's family and, you know, you don't make a big deal out about it

0:55:290:55:34

but somehow, miraculously...

0:55:340:55:38

..my brood is incredibly lovable.

0:55:400:55:45

Right, time to walk the dog, you know what I mean?

0:55:530:55:57

Check this out while I'm gone.

0:55:570:56:00

The late, great Etta James.

0:56:000:56:02

MUSIC: Night-Time Is The Right Time By Etta James

0:56:030:56:06

# You know the night-time

0:56:160:56:18

# Is the right time

0:56:190:56:21

# To be with the one you love

0:56:220:56:27

# Oh, baby

0:56:280:56:31

# Come on, babe

0:56:320:56:35

# Come on, baby

0:56:350:56:37

# You the one I'm thinking of

0:56:380:56:41

# You know the night-time

0:56:420:56:44

# Ooh, ooh, is the right time

0:56:450:56:48

# To be with the one you love

0:56:480:56:50

# I said, be with the one you love

0:56:510:56:54

# You know my mother

0:56:550:56:57

# She hadn't a dime

0:56:580:57:00

# And my father

0:57:010:57:03

# Left his poor child crying

0:57:050:57:07

# Oh, baby Oh, baby, now

0:57:070:57:11

# Come on, baby

0:57:110:57:14

# I want you to be my lover

0:57:140:57:17

# Oh, and keep me satisfied

0:57:170:57:20

# You know the night-time

0:57:210:57:24

# Every... #

0:57:240:57:25

'The furthest these people are willing to look into the future is

0:57:250:57:28

'who goes home with whom.'

0:57:280:57:29

Go!

0:57:290:57:30

# Be with the one you love

0:57:300:57:33

# Baby

0:57:340:57:36

# Baby

0:57:370:57:39

# Baby

0:57:410:57:42

# Oh, baby, now

0:57:440:57:45

# You know I love you

0:57:470:57:49

# Place no-one above you

0:57:500:57:52

# Hold me tight

0:57:530:57:55

# Make everything all right

0:57:570:57:59

# Because you know the night-time

0:58:000:58:02

# Everyday is the right time

0:58:030:58:06

# To be with the one you love

0:58:070:58:08

# Well, it's all right. #

0:58:090:58:12

Who's the lucky fella?

0:58:490:58:52

# Squeeze me

0:58:520:58:54

# Squeeze me

0:58:560:58:58

# Squeeze me, baby

0:58:590:59:01

# Oh, don't leave me

0:59:020:59:04

# I want you to hold my hand

0:59:060:59:08

# Oh, baby

0:59:090:59:11

# And I don't need

0:59:120:59:14

# I don't need no other man

0:59:150:59:18

# Because you know the night-time

0:59:190:59:21

# Oh, is the right time

0:59:220:59:25

# To be with the one you love

0:59:250:59:27

# Oh, yes, it is. #

0:59:280:59:31

Bicycle Thief.

0:59:530:59:54

Made just after the war, in Italy.

0:59:560:59:59

How I got to know it? Art school.

1:00:001:00:04

Once a month, they would show, you know... They would have a movie.

1:00:061:00:09

Bicycle Thief was my first introduction to Italian movie-making

1:00:091:00:17

and the different way of telling a story.

1:00:171:00:22

The relationship between the boy and the old man and editing...

1:00:221:00:27

That's when I first became aware of, you know, they chop 'em up...

1:00:271:00:32

I always remembered it because it wasn't Hollywood.

1:00:341:00:38

Yeah.

1:00:381:00:39

There's a different way of looking through the lens,

1:00:391:00:42

therefore there are many other ways of looking through a camera

1:00:421:00:46

and capturing what you wanted and to tell a story.

1:00:461:00:50

It was, to me, an eye-opener in that movies are not always made

1:00:501:00:56

in Hollywood or Lion Studios or Elstree...

1:00:561:00:59

Bicycle Thief was the thing that...

1:01:011:01:04

There's a place called Europe and they know how to look at things too.

1:01:041:01:08

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