Pennod 6 Y Salon

-*

-This is what I want, please.

-This is what I want, please.

-

-You want to look like Brad Pitt?

-You're prettier than him.

-You're prettier than him.

-

-Aren't we all?

-It was the week of lovers,

-and there were lots of chocolates...

-I've brought you a present.

-I've brought you a present.

-

-Oh, how kind.

-Cakes...

-I've got you a present.

-I've got you a present.

-

-Oh, thank you!

-You're welcome.

-Lots of cards...

-Lots of cards...

-

-# Postman Pat #

-No way!

-No way!

-

-# Surprise, surprise #

-Look what's been delivered for you!

-"Roses are red, violets are blue,

-sugar is sweet and so are you!"

-That's so cute!

-Yes, question mark.

-Not a clue!

-And lots of plain speaking

-on Y Salon this week.

-You like cocks, don't you?

-Cockles, you know?

-I hope no-one's listening!

-It pays to do something romantic.

-To show that you love your partner.

-At the end of the day,

-you've only got one wife.

-Supposed to.

-Supposed to.

-

-Unless you've got a harem!

-What did Mike do?

-Did he spoil you for Valentine's?

-Nothing?

-Did you buy him something?

-I bought one of those silk nighties.

-So, you still

-make an effort for your husband?

-You have to. That's a fact of life.

-Before going to bed,

-I thought I'd wear this pretty set.

-Dressing up, you know.

-Did you have a whip as well?

-I went out into the lounge.

-You know, it was sad.

-He didn't notice...

-..what I was wearing.

-It's a waste of money, isn't it?

-You see these people

-going to a restaurant...

-..and that's where they are...

-..whispering sweet nothings

-in candlelight.

-They can't afford it.

-Prices are going through the roof.

-Instead of a bottle of bubbly,

-she gets a bottle of Babycham.

-There's a bloke with a violin...

-..playing music

-you don't want to hear.

-Next morning, back to square one,

-fighting like cats again.

-How long have you been married?!

-How long have you been married?!

-

-28 glorious years!

-If you didn't have a romantic time

-on Tuesday, don't worry.

-There's always time.

-Sex in the nineties?

-Is the best, they say.

-Oh? Bring it on!

-It's bad enough thinking

-about your parents doing it.

-But your grandparents? Ugh!

-I'm sure he goes for hours.

-Too slow.

-If they want to have sex, let them!

-It's better in your nineties

-than in your fifties, they say.

-Because you don't remember anything!

-Some people love how they look.

-Others spend a fortune

-on improving their look...

-..with the odd nip and tuck.

-But these days, people are

-spending less on cosmetic surgery.

-Would you have plastic surgery?

-Would you have plastic surgery?

-

-Yes.

-What would you have done?

-What would you have done?

-

-I'd have a facelift.

-Why?

-Why?

-

-I don't want wrinkles.

-No, nothing.

-No, nothing.

-I wouldn't put myself

-through such a thing.

-The black eyes? The noses?

-The black eyes? The noses?

-

-Isn't there anything you'd do?

-No pain.

-I don't want to know about it.

-No, because...

-No, because...

-

-You're happy in your own skin.

-Well, yes.

-I am what I am.

-I am what I am.

-

-Yes, exactly.

-# And what I am needs no excuses #

-In the end,

-I think it makes them uglier.

-Do you think so?

-Do you think so?

-

-Definite.

-When I'm old,

-if I'm like my mother, no offence...

-..I'll need...

-Your mother looks great!

-Your mother looks great!

-

-..a lift to get rid of wrinkles.

-I don't like that.

-I'd have a nuck and tuck.

-I'd have a nuck and tuck.

-

-Nuck and tuck? Nip and tuck!

-Whatever you call it!

-I've got knobbly knees.

-I wouldn't mind

-smoothing out my knees.

-Your knees?!

-Boob job?

-Boob job?

-

-No.

-They get bigger as I get older.

-They get bigger as I get older.

-

-Very good.

-I know a woman who went overseas

-to another country...

-..to get big boobs.

-Big boobs?

-Big boobs?

-

-Yes.

-I don't have to cross

-Cardigan bridge!

-What about men who wear make-up?

-What do you think

-about men in make-up?

-My opinion of that is you're a man.

-You're not supposed to wear make-up.

-I like something rough and ready.

-I like something rough and ready.

-

-Rough and ready?

-Manly, hair everywhere!

-When you go home with a man,

-you don't want to wake up...

-..to find a pillow

-covered in make-up...

-..or a ghost lying there

-who was tanned the night before!

-Like the one I had last night?!

-There are men on Instagram

-who give make-up tutorials.

-It looks amazing.

-It looks amazing.

-

-They do, don't they?

-They're better than a lot of women.

-They're better than a lot of women.

-

-Their contouring is amazing.

-The contouring's on point!

-If you stood there in a purple hat

-with a feather in it...

-..I've got no right

-to tell you not to wear it.

-That's as it should be.

-At the end of the day,

-we live in a free country.

-Does Mike wear make-up?

-That's the fashion now.

-That's the fashion now.

-

-Mike?!

-Jesus Christ!

-Can you imagine it?

-Sharing your mascara!

-Can you imagine him in the bathroom

-before you went out?

-Gee whiz!

-I wouldn't be happy

-if Owain wore make-up.

-Eyeliner?

-Eyeliner?

-

-Oh, no!

-Foundation?

-Foundation?

-

-It'd be a bit weird.

-What would you say if your husband

-came in wearing make-up?

-Go back out!

-Pick a window?

-Pick a window!

-Should you try everything once?

-Some schools are tempting children

-to eat school dinners...

-..by making the menu more exciting.

-They're trying

-to promote things now...

-..like bushtucker trials.

-Eating insects and stuff?

-Not quite insects.

-Trying to get young children

-into healthy eating.

-I think it's really good.

-I think it's vital.

-There are so many problems

-with child obesity.

-Children don't exercise enough.

-They need to be educated.

-They need to know.

-That healthy eating is important.

-But it can be fun as well.

-But it can be fun as well.

-

-Exactly.

-Did you like school dinners?

-Did you like school dinners?

-

-No.

-I think I'm the only one who did.

-Ours were quite nice.

-I enjoyed school dinners.

-I enjoyed school dinners.

-

-Slop!

-It was slop! Disgusting!

-I can't eat a lot of things

-because of school dinners.

-How were your school dinners?

-Listen now, we were poor.

-We come from a poor family.

-Like thousands of us at that time.

-A poor family.

-We went to school

-and had dinner there.

-We'd have potatoes, meat, veg,

-pudding and everything.

-Listen, that was a feast for us.

-It was a feast for people like us.

-A proper feed.

-A proper feed.

-

-A slap-up meal.

-At least we got

-one good feed a day.

-For poor people,

-that was awfully important.

-When I was at school,

-especially primary school...

-..I hated sago

-because I thought it was tadpoles.

-They made stuff like that.

-But at secondary school,

-I got wonderful food.

-Cheese pie and beans!

-Cheese pie and beans!

-

-That was a treat, was it?!

-Yes, almost every day!

-I used to look forward to pudding.

-Chocolate cake and pink custard.

-It was lush.

-There was one thing I didn't like,

-and I enjoy food, full stop!

-One thing I didn't like

-was semolina.

-I remember one thing

-I used to love about school dinner.

-Semolina, with a blob of jam in it.

-I liked the puddings.

-I haven't had it.

-And the cake with hundreds

-and thousands and pink custard.

-Oh, yes.

-Oh, yes.

-

-Oh!

-I don't like the building

-where we have school dinners.

-It's full of children,

-and they make so much noise.

-They run around,

-and there's such a mess.

-You'd think some of them

-lived in a zoo.

-Strange! Children in a school!

-Congratulations to Geri Halliwell

-and her husband...

-..on the birth

-of their first child, Montague.

-Yes, Montague.

-Montague.

-Montague?

-Montague!

-He'll get bullied at school!

-He'll get bullied at school!

-

-That's what I thought.

-Whatever you call your child,

-they have to carry it with them.

-Unless they change it by deed poll.

-Unless they change it by deed poll.

-

-I can hear them shouting at him.

-Montague!

-It's a really posh name.

-If you went around private schools,

-you'd find Montys.

-The only Monty I know

-is my friend's dog.

-That's what I thought.

-Is she trying to keep up with Vicky?

-Like Romeo or something?

-Victoria Beckham!

-Her son's called Romeo.

-As in Romeo And Juliet,

-the Montagues.

-Oh, of course.

-Beyonce, Blue Ivy.

-God knows

-what she'll call the twins.

-Sage and Onion, maybe?

-I used to turn my head

-when I heard the name Colin.

-No-one's called Colin now. I'm rare!

-One Colin's enough!

-# There's only one Colin Pugh! #

-My stepmother has just had a baby.

-What's she called it?

-What's she called it?

-

-Leia, as in Princess Leia.

-That's nice.

-She was born

-on the day Carrie Fisher died.

-Me and Dadi really like Star Wars.

-My daughter's called Cennin.

-My daughter's called Cennin.

-

-Cennin?

-Like a daffodil.

-Like a daffodil.

-

-Nice name.

-And Tesni.

-And Tesni.

-

-Lovely.

-I know where Gary comes from.

-Oh, yes? What does it mean?

-Hero or something.

-That would fit, wouldn't it?

-# Gary our little hero #

-Eh?

-Have you got a hero?

-Nelson Mandela.

-In my first summer at university,

-I went to work in South Africa...

-..with an agency

-in one of the homelands.

-By my second summer at university,

-Nelson Mandela had been released.

-Do you have a hero...

-..or someone you admire?

-There's only one. Aneurin Bevan.

-Aneurin Bevan?

-He established

-the National Health Service.

-Oh, yes?

-The best thing

-that has happened in this country.

-I don't know.

-I don't have any specific heroes.

-You take people to heart.

-I watched a programme last night.

-Beti And David.

-Beti George?

-He has dementia.

-I was in tears watching it.

-I don't know her, apart from the TV

-and the Eisteddfod and so on.

-I've got so much respect for her

-after watching that.

-I like Alan Sugar.

-Who?

-Mine's Katie Price.

-Mine's Katie Price.

-

-Is it?

-I love her.

-She started off with a pound

-in her purse and a pair of knickers.

-That's all, and look at her now.

-Maggie Thatcher for me.

-I liked her

-because she did what she said...

-..when she was alive.

-No nonsense.

-Trump's not unlike her, I think.

-Trump's not unlike her, I think.

-

-Do you like him too?

-I think Alwyn Humphreys is lovely.

-Do you cut his hair?

-Oh, he's dapper.

-He always has a lovely haircut.

-Thank you, Bernadette.

-That came as a shock.

-I need a lie-down

-and a cuppa, maybe.

-Thank you, Bernadette.

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-Subtitles

-Subtitles

-

-Subtitles

-Welcome back.

-Talking of two

-for the price of one...

-..some supermarkets and garages

-have been caught...

-..misleading their customers.

-Have you been shopping in Tesco?

-Have you been shopping in Tesco?

-

-I don't do much shopping.

-They say it's buy one

-get one free...

-..but check the receipt

-and you've been ripped off.

-Full price?

-Full price?

-

-There's a lot of it.

-It's awful if they do something

-like that to thousands of people.

-Who goes back with the receipt?

-Who keeps receipts?

-That's wrong.

-The advertising is wrong.

-False advertising.

-That's against the law, isn't it?

-You're not going to drive back

-for the sake of 2.

-They have too many schemes.

-When you look closely, you see it's

-not much of a bargain to begin with.

-It's just a gimmick.

-I went to a shop

-and asked for a bottle of WKD.

-The girl said I could have two for

-6 because there was a deal on.

-I said "They're 2.50 each".

-She said "You can have two for 6."

-I told her

-"I can have two for a fiver".

-"I'll take this to the car

-and come back for another one."

-I couldn't believe she was serious.

-I don't know how some people

-can sleep at night...

-..knowing how

-they're conning people.

-There are people

-living on the poverty line...

-..who just don't have the money.

-Prices are going up all the time.

-That's the worst thing.

-It's the same thing with mechanics.

-It's the same thing with mechanics.

-

-Don't go there!

-Every time I went to one garage...

-..they'd tell me I was lucky

-to be alive.

-"Your brakes have exploded."

-I was buying brake cables

-every year.

-Seriously.

-I took my car to the garage.

-I hadn't had it very long.

-I paid about 13,000 for it.

-They changed the head gasket

-and it cost 1,100.

-They made me sign a form...

-..to say if it went again,

-they weren't liable.

-Four days later, it went again.

-I had nowhere to turn.

-That's why I have no faith in them.

-I feel they're just there

-to rip people off.

-It makes you doubt people.

-These days, you need to know

-more about cars.

-Definite.

-Take someone with you.

-Take someone with you.

-

-A man.

-Your dad or husband.

-Ask a stranger, "Can you come

-to the garage with me"?

-The engine blew

-on my first car.

-Don't!

-"Do you know where to put the oil?"

-I don't have a clue about cars.

-I think I know everything about

-cars. At least I think I do.

-My husband knows where to find

-the plugs and the dynamo.

-And the spanner.

-And the spanner.

-

-And the spanners.

-We're lucky around here.

-We know the garages,

-they're local businesses.

-They're not really in a situation

-to cheat people...

-..because everyone

-will hear about it.

-It would ruin their business,

-so they need to be more careful.

-Yes, cars are

-an expensive business...

-..unless you're lucky

-enough to win the lottery.

-One woman is threatening

-to sue lottery organizers.

-She claims winning 1 million

-ruined her life.

-She should have thought about that

-before she bought a ticket.

-You don't complain about

-winning money.

-It was her decision to buy a ticket.

-It was her decision to buy a ticket.

-

-You don't buy a ticket to lose.

-You buy a ticket

-because you want to win.

-I think she just wants more money.

-She says she can't go

-to the Maldives...

-..and go to a lush place

-and get smashed...

-..and she can't go to Benidorm

-because she's too posh.

-Too posh for Benidorm?

-Go to Blackpool, you idiot.

-If she sues them,

-she'll have more money.

-It doesn't make sense.

-If you don't want it, give it

-to people who really need it.

-If you've got money,

-you still have the same problems...

-..but it makes a difference

-if you can afford...

-..foreign cruises.

-Whatever you like.

-If you won the lottery,

-how would you spend the money?

-I'd pay off Mam and Dad's mortgage.

-Good girl. Will you pay mine off?

-Good girl. Will you pay mine off?

-

-You wish.

-You'd make sure everyone you knew

-was OK...

-..family, close friends.

-That's what I'd do.

-That's the sort of person I am.

-Shoes, holiday...

-Shoes, holiday...

-

-..handbags to go with the shoes.

-I had a lottery win years ago,

-five balls and the bonus ball.

-How much did you win?

-I won't say in case the taxman finds

-out, but not enough to retire on.

-A big house...

-You'd look after your family.

-I'd look after my family.

-And my hairdresser.

-I love you.

-Is there a lottery tonight?

-Good luck, ladies.

-Soon, you'll be more likely

-to win the lottery...

-..than find a public toilet,

-because of local council cutbacks.

-Closing public toilets is like

-stepping back two centuries.

-People will have to pee where they

-are, in the gutter or wherever.

-You can drive all the way to Cardiff

-and there are no stops with toilets.

-You can stop, have a cuppa

-and use the toilet...

-..but that defeats the object.

-You'll want the toilet again

-twenty miles down the road.

-When you've got to go

-you've got to go.

-Do you use them?

-I've got a phobia. I couldn't.

-Hover, that's my method.

-Hover, that's my method.

-

-Squat and hover?

-I hover.

-If I can, I hold it in

-until I get home.

-The only place I can go is home.

-It doesn't matter

-if I'm in Llandudno or Liverpool.

-I'll hold it in until I get home.

-That hurts!

-I was in Llandudno one day

-and went to the toilets downstairs.

-There was a guy with tickets.

-I asked what it was and he said it

-was to use the toilet.

-I asked how much and it was

-50 pence. That's expensive.

-50 pence?

-It's supposed to be spend a penny.

-Oooh.

-There are some good ones

-in Machynlleth.

-You pay 20 pence to use those.

-That's fine. Why not?

-You pay to park, pay to pee...

-In twenty years we'll have to pay

-to breathe, mark my words.

-You're right.

-Talking about rare sights, UFOs.

-It's 40 years since a group

-of children from Pembrokeshire...

-..claimed they'd seen a UFO.

-Has anyone in the salon seen

-anything extra-terrestrial?

-I remember one time

-when I was fishing in Newborough.

-It was three o'clock in the morning.

-I saw this big green ball.

-I thought it was

-the end of the world.

-It flew straight into the woods.

-I still don't know what it was.

-I got up in the middle of the

-night and sat on the front doorstep.

-I saw something.

-A shooting star?

-It started to move so I got in

-the car and followed it...

-..but I lost it.

-Perhaps you were just tired.

-Perhaps you were just tired.

-

-Maybe.

-There was a UFO above

-the Berwyn Mountains years ago.

-There was an article about it

-in the paper.

-Kevin says he saw something

-near Llyn Brenig.

-He was very agitated one night.

-Apparently, somebody found

-the remains of a UFO.

-They heard a massive bang.

-I'm really scared of stuff

-like that.

-Do you believe in it?

-Do you believe in it?

-

-I think something's out there.

-You hear about

-these alien abductions.

-Yes, Roswell.

-I read all these conspiracy

-theories. I love them.

-You never know. The government

-keeps so much from us.

-It's not just in the UK,

-it's everywhere.

-There could be loads of UFOs

-and we know nothing about them.

-There's no way we're the only ones

-in the universe.

-There has to be something else.

-This week was Kindness Week...

-..and doesn't eavesdropping

-on conversations in the salon...

-..restore your faith in humanity?

-My friend Lorraine...

-..texts me during the day

-asking "Are you manic"?

-I text back "Manic day".

-I go home

-and find a saucepan outside.

-She'll have made

-a saucepan of cawl for me.

-That is so nice.

-She knows I work full-time.

-There was a local man...

-..who collected money

-for good causes.

-He stood outside Boots

-with a collecting tin.

-He did that for fifty years.

-Everyone has their film stars

-and so on...

-..but if you were looking for

-a man who helped people...

-..there was Dic.

-Everyone is different. No man is

-exactly the same as another.

-We're all individuals.

-Right, how's that for you?

-Right, how's that for you?

-

-Very smart.

-You know how sometimes you think

-the world is a terrible place?

-But...

-..stop to think about it...

-..and look for the good in people

-rather than the bad.

-S4C Subtitles by Testun Cyf.

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