Pennod 2 Y Salon

-Subtitles

-The Salon is open once again

-all across the country.

-They're interested

-in more than just hair.

-He reminds me of a baby

-who has lost his dummy.

-I'm overweight.

-No, I'm serious.

-I'm not violent.

-If I got a chance to punch him

-in the face, I would.

-Dear me, what are these black

-gloves? You look like Darth Vader.

-This week, we've got a few new

-characters behind the mirror.

-Kirsty from Kent

-who has made Caernarfon her home.

-I moved here six years ago.

-I love Wales.

-Sadly, for those of you who don't

-believe I'm from Kent, this is me.

-Get out of my pub!

-Salon Blodeuwedd

-is where Sonia works.

-Sonia's got some colourful stories.

-I worked for Peter Stringfellow

-in Covent Garden as a dancer.

-My lips are sealed.

-There are plenty of colourful

-characters at C & J Bangor too.

-And prostitutes.

-And prostitutes.

-

-Absolutely.

-Prostitutes, Donna.

-Prostitutes, Donna.

-

-Oh dear me, what will I do?

-Mary is still busy

-at Llinos' Salon in Cardigan.

-Are you on viagra, Keith?

-I've not been told

-that I need it so far!

-Welcome once again to Y Salon.

-It's Monday morning in Caernarfon.

-Over the weekend, the NHS'

-health has had people worried.

-From the waiting lists to the

-state of the emergency services.

-Everyone has a story.

-It's nuts how long you wait

-in an ambulance.

-I had a fit and my mum

-called an ambulance.

-They asked my mum "Is he having

-a full-blown epileptic fit?"

-My mother said "Yes, obviously,

-he suffers from them."

-They said "we haven't got

-an ambulance for him."

-We're very lucky to have an NHS.

-Last year, people

-were talking about privatising it.

-Around Caernarfon and Bangor,

-people couldn't afford that.

-Now that the weather's bad,

-it's colder.

-Older people go in.

-Everyone has this flu.

-Everyone has sickness and diarrhoea.

-There are loads of bugs around.

-Old people go into hospital

-and take up the beds.

-We can't blame all these problems

-on old people.

-Yes, people are living a lot longer.

-Think how much money the NHS wastes

-on a day-to-day basis.

-What I've noticed is too many people

-go out looking for trouble.

-They end up in hospital.

-Old people go out for a walk. What's

-the point of them going for a walk?

-They're asking for trouble.

-Are you supposed to sit at home

-and not go out?

-No, but if you know you're

-a liability, don't go.

-They're all getting older

-and living longer.

-We need more nurses and doctors.

-All that paper work

-is killing everything.

-They've closed

-all the small hospitals.

-Places like Bryn Beryl,

-Eryri and Bryn Seiont...

-..where you could go for respite.

-Chris is a cage fighter.

-He's used to trips to the hospital.

-I'm fine, thanks.

-Sometimes we get the odd injury.

-Because of the waiting times at

-Ysbyty Gwynedd, I'll put it off.

-One of my toes is facing the wrong

-way after kicking someone.

-Yes, I didn't go

-and it's set like that.

-No!

-Nice when you're wearing flip flops!

-There are waiting lists

-and queues in the corridors.

-A and E is hectic on weekends.

-But it's there.

-But it's there.

-

-Yes, it's there for you.

-If you're in there because

-of drunkenness, you should pay.

-I agree with you on that.

-For that night in A and E.

-If they had to pay for it...

-..they won't be in there

-after drinking.

-People like me should have to pay

-more in to the service anyway.

-Why people like you?

-Why people like you?

-

-I'm overweight.

-No, I'm serious. I'll cause

-more strain for the system.

-At some point,

-I'm going to suffer diabetes.

-I'll have a heart condition.

-It's natural.

-If you're a fatty boom boom,

-you'll cost the state more money.

-You're not fat! Can I ask,

-what kind of haircut am I getting?

-You're getting what I give you.

-Whatever you get!

-When I did my leg in,

-I was pushing a caravan.

-You and your holidays again.

-I felt this incredible pain

-in my leg.

-I told Michael "I've had

-an electric shock in my leg."

-He said "Don't be ridiculous,

-there's no electricity here."

-"Something's happened to it!"

-I ended up in...

-I ended up in...

-

-Did you go to casualty?

-Not that day but the day after.

-I kept telling him to buy

-a motor mover for the caravan.

-"No, no. I can reverse it,

-I can do this, I can do that."

-After I break my leg what did he do?

-After I break my leg what did he do?

-

-He bought a motor thing.

-He went straight out

-and bought a motor mover.

-I could have hit him!

-With many people

-planning their holidays...

-..security has been

-at the back of their minds.

-Are you going on holiday

-this summer?

-I've got no plans at present.

-A lot of people are too

-frightened to go...

-..after everything that's happened.

-It's crazy.

-You don't want

-to live your life like that.

-You don't want to think you can't go

-anywhere but you worry everywhere.

-I wouldn't ever go back to Tunisia.

-Would you?

-No, definitely not.

-When I go on my holidays, my mother

-asks why we don't stay here.

-She asks me if I'm scared.

-It is at the back of your mind,

-all the time, "what if?"

-If it goes berserk, you go.

-If it goes berserk, you go.

-

-Very true.

-Your mum lives out in America

-do you fly back and forth?

-I really don't like it.

-I get very nervous.

-What do you worry about the most?

-There are loads of terrorists

-in America.

-I was flying through America

-last year.

-I got caught up in one of those

-shootings in America.

-Since then, I don't really want

-to go anywhere.

-What happened in the shooting?

-It was at JFK in New York.

-It was horrible. We had to run

-onto the tarmac outside.

-It shouldn't stop you from going

-but we're not safe anywhere.

-I'm going to India.

-Oh, my God, are you?

-Yes.

-I'm going to see the Taj Mahal.

-I'm going to see the Taj Mahal.

-

-Are you?

-Do you feel it's safe to go?

-With all the things

-happening in the world.

-Listen now, I've been married

-30 years. Is it our pearl wedding?

-No, it's not a pearl wedding,

-it's a medal wedding!

-Yes, a medal!

-Dear me. The NHS in a mess,

-the world is a dangerous place...

-..it's no wonder

-it was Blue Monday this week.

-Here's a character

-who usually turns the air blue.

-The Drag Queen from Anglesey,

-Maggi Noggi.

-I always say,

-no matter what the crisis is...

-..have a cup of tea, a gin

-and throw some glitter on it...

-..and everything will be fine.

-..and everything will be fine.

-

-Absolutely.

-Are you depressed? It's Blue Monday.

-Are you depressed? It's Blue Monday.

-

-No, I'm not depressed.

-I understand how people

-can be depressed.

-It's a struggle.

-It's that time of the year.

-We've spent too much over Christmas.

-Kids want more and more now.

-How have you been feeling

-on this Blue Monday?

-Are you feeling depressed?

-Are you feeling depressed?

-

-No, I'm fine.

-I didn't buy anyone

-a thing for Christmas!

-I didn't spend much this Christmas.

-It was ideal, I didn't have

-a girlfriend at Christmas.

-So no Blue Monday for you.

-So no Blue Monday for you.

-

-Yes!

-But Matthew's luck with the ladies

-is about to change.

-Here's Kirsty's mum.

-Alright, Sharon?

-Good morning!

-Sharon's talking

-a bit of Welsh there.

-Trying to get in with it all.

-Sharon, I've told Kirsty

-you're on the waiting list.

-I'm what?

-I'm what?

-

-You're on the waiting list.

-Waiting list for what?

-Waiting list for what?

-

-For me!

-You cheeky girl!

-If ever you're single,

-you're in there with a chance.

-I'm in there anyway.

-I'm in there anyway.

-

-That's true, Sharon. That's true.

-You cheeky girl!

-Get out of my pub!

-From the cheeky boy

-to the cheeky girl.

-Kim Kardashian can't possibly

-be short of cash.

-It'll cost you 445

-to get a selfie with her.

-Only that much?

-I suppose I have to go

-to America to do it too.

-Unless you see her

-in this country.

-Dear me.

-She must think a lot of herself.

-That woman is something else.

-I'm sorry, but doesn't she have

-enough money in the first place?

-What is she doing?

-Do you think people will pay that?

-I know someone

-who's had a selfie with her.

-That was in Dubai recently.

-She must have paid for it.

-I've got a selfie.

-I've got a selfie.

-

-With who?

-Kim Kardashian.

-Don't be silly. You don't.

-Don't be silly. You don't.

-

-Yes, I do.

-You have a selfie

-with Kim Kardashian.

-Yes, I got it in London.

-Yes, I got it in London.

-

-Did you see her in London?

-At Madame Tussauds!

-How much jewellery did they steal

-from her in Paris?

-Who?

-Kim Kardashian got robbed

-at her hotel.

-She's making the money back

-with selfies.

-Her brains are in her rear end.

-Her brains are in her rear end.

-

-Yes.

-George Michael is one

-I'd like to have.

-He's dead.

-I know but he's the one I'd still

-like to get a selfie with.

-Were you a fan of George Michael?

-Were you a fan of George Michael?

-

-Jennifer Lawrence. I'd pay 30.

-30!

-30!

-

-30 is a lot of money for me!

-That's two shifts in the chippy.

-What about Biggins.

-What about Biggins.

-

-Who?

-Biggins!

-Christopher Biggins? Don't be silly.

-He'd need to pay you 400

-for a selfie!

-True, true.

-Aren't these apps good?

-Absolutely.

-Absolutely.

-

-I'm a big fan of the social media.

-Are you?

-I'm all over them!

-I'm all over them!

-

-Are you?

-I'm like a social media whore.

-No, you're not.

-No, you're not.

-

-Oh, but I am.

-I'm not really sure what this

-tweeting business is.

-You follow people

-and it's similar to Facebook.

-Like a stalker.

-A bit like a stalker.

-A bit like a stalker.

-

-Not in to that.

-If you go to a restaurant

-these days...

-..families are all on their phones.

-It takes 20-25 minutes longer

-for people to sit, order and eat.

-That's because everyone's

-on their phone.

-If you sit in the house at night,

-nobody talks anymore.

-I'm guilty. We all are. I raise

-my head and we're all on phones.

-I'm on Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat.

-I love snapchat.

-I'm on Instagram.

-I'm on these dating things too.

-You've got a husband!

-You're not on those!

-Nobody has confidence

-to speak to people.

-Everyone just swipes now.

-Have you swiped on Tinder, Sian?

-Have you heard of Tinder?

-You're not a Tinder girl?

-# She's all over Tinder #

-If they are a little conservative,

-I never have been.

-I'm on Christian Mingle too.

-You are not!

-A little chapel girl!

-We've got plenty to come

-after the break.

-"I'm gonna build a wall,

-a great big wall!"

-I wanted to leave.

-I wanted to leave.

-

-Were you?

-Why?

-I'm not going to cry

-but you can't do my hair any more.

-Make yourself a cuppa

-or something a little stronger.

-You haven't finished that!

-Where's that Steph?

-I don't know where she's gone.

-Steph, Maggi's dry love.

-.

-Subtitles

-Subtitles

-

-Subtitles

-They will see that we shaped them

-a brighter future.

-They will know that we built them

-a better Britain.

-Following her Brexit speech

-this week...

-..Theresa May's name

-was on everyone's lips at the salon.

-What's the name

-of that woman who's in charge?

-Theresa May.

-Have you seen the state of her?

-She's already aged so much.

-Who on earth dressed her, Carys?

-What is your opinion on Brexit?

-Oh, my gosh,

-don't start me on Brexit!

-I watched Theresa May this morning.

-Couldn't understand a word she said.

-Really?

-Really?

-

-Not a word.

-I know the feeling, Joyce,

-I'm just the same.

-Brexit, well, I hope it changes

-things and I hope it's great.

-But it won't be.

-I wanted to leave.

-Really?

-Really?

-

-Yes.

-Why?

-I won't cry but you're not

-doing my hair anymore!

-I'm not spending money here again!

-It's a change.

-Did you vote?

-Yes, I voted Remain.

-Yes, I voted Remain.

-

-So did I.

-Farmers, like you,

-get so many grants from them.

-Yes, a lot of money.

-This lipstick and hairstyle costs

-money, Carys, as you well know.

-I need money.

-I need money.

-

-Of course.

-That won't happen just by

-selling milk in Caernarfon.

-They have to work

-to make sure it works properly.

-I agree and a year ago, I would

-have said to remain in the EU...

-..but as June approached and I

-watched the TV, I changed my mind.

-I hope that Carwyn Jones...

-..will have a say in what

-is going to eventually happen.

-He's bound to.

-Who's Carwyn?

-Carwyn Jones,

-the First Minister of Wales.

-They're always falling out

-with each other in London.

-If they just worked together and got

-on with it, we'd be better off.

-But there we are.

-I was in Brussels

-the day after Brexit.

-The day David Cameron was there...

-..and when Nigel Farage

-made his stupid speech.

-I'm not a violent person...

-..but if I had the chance to punch

-him in the face, I definitely would.

-That blinkin' Farage, well!

-Who's his best mate these days?

-Who's his best mate these days?

-

-Donald Trump.

-Oh, dear, me, it's going to be

-quite a week in America this week.

-His inauguration is on Friday.

-It's terrible.

-I will be watching though.

-I will be watching though.

-

-Of course.

-With a buffet!

-Will you really have a buffet?

-Yes!

-A couple of drinks too.

-Yes, cheers Donald!

-Cheers Donald!

-There is no turning back now.

-Donald J Trump

-is the President of the USA.

-That man is class.

-I love him, you can't not like him.

-"I'm gonna build a wall,

-a great big wall".

-He's going to build a wall.

-He's going to build a wall.

-

-A wall?

-To keep the Mexicans out. He's

-getting rid of them from America.

-He's going to build a wall.

-He sounds a bit like Hitler.

-He sounds a bit like Hitler.

-

-Yes, he does a bit.

-With that Berlin Wall.

-What's his name, Cocabana?

-Obama.

-He moves out and they only have

-six hours before Trump moves in.

-It took me a week

-to move out of my house!

-And the rest!

-They say his wife won't move in.

-He's like Marmite.

-People either really,

-really love him...

-..can't praise him enough and think

-he's the new Jesus Christ...

-..or they think he's the Antichrist.

-I really love him.

-I think you can only gain by him

-having some influence.

-And his hair,

-he's got smart hair too.

-What about these scandals?

-With that Russian bloke.

-With that Russian bloke.

-

-Putin.

-And the prostitutes!

-Exactly.

-Prostitutes, Donna!

-You're lucky there aren't

-many of them in Anglesey.

-You'd be surprised what happens

-in Llanrhyddlad and Llanfechell!

-I like the fact that Trump

-says what he's thinking...

-..and what we are thinking,

-but we're too afraid to say it.

-Politically correct.

-Imagine waking up

-with him next to you.

-You'd want plenty of money for that!

-Goodness me!

-Someone pulled a gun and they

-had to take Trump out of there.

-He was bending down.

-One of his security guards told him

-"Donald, duck"!

-Local issues just can't be avoided

-at the Steil salon in Llandeilo.

-I've been saying for years that

-a bypass would be a good idea.

-We could have a cafe culture.

-What's that?

-A cafe culture where people

-can enjoy themselves and relax.

-Everyone knows about these roads

-and how narrow the pavement can be.

-The lorries would stop

-coming through the town.

-It won't be pedestrianized

-but it would be nicer and safer.

-At one time...

-..Llandeilo was said to be one of

-the most polluted towns in the UK.

-Getting rid of the lorries would cut

-down on traffic and make the town...

-..a nicer place to walk around in.

-Until it happens,

-we just don't know.

-Time will tell.

-Have you heard that Greggs

-are going to start delivering?

-No.

-Apparently, they will deliver

-if you spend over 20 or 25.

-That's just nuts!

-You have to spend that much

-for a delivery? It's a bit steep.

-It's nuts that Greggs

-make deliveries.

-The Chinese doesn't do deliveries

-around here.

-You've got to put in your order

-before 5.00pm on the previous day...

-..if you want to get a delivery.

-How do you know you fancy

-a sausage roll on the next day?

-A sausage roll is something

-you just fancy there and then.

-Will there be a minimum spend of 2?

-You can't phone Greggs to ask for

-a sausage roll and jam doughnut.

-They only have fresh stuff.

-Apparently, you have to spend 20

-for a home delivery.

-That will be good

-for people's health.

-Do you like your savouries?

-Just look at me - obviously!

-I'm a sucker for a Cornish pasty

-with brown sauce.

-Thinking about it, so am I.

-That's my hangover food

-when I've been naughty.

-I don't know how many times I've

-been at home with a hangover...

-..and just fancied a McDonald's.

-A McDonald's milkshake

-always sorts me out.

-What sorted out my hangovers

-was a kebab and a can of Coke.

-I've already got a problem

-with Coke.

-I have that every day anyway!

-I've never known anyone

-who likes Coke as much as you.

-If you got away with what you liked,

-Donna, how many would you have?

-I average about five or six.

-Never!

-Serious? Oh, my God!

-You're a Coke addict!

-They're a bunch of old softies

-up in Caernarfon.

-With St Dwynwen's Day next week...

-..cage fighter Chris knows

-how to please his wife, Gemma.

-My romance to Gemma

-is that she likes a clean house.

-What?

-A clean house. That's the most

-romantic thing I can do for Gemma.

-I've arrived home and he's there

-with a cuppa and the house is clean.

-You appreciate that

-more than anything!

-It goes a long way

-when a man picks up a Hoover.

-Until you open a cupboard and

-see where he's stuffed everything.

-What has she done that was romantic?

-Being the mother of my daughters.

-Cute.

-You're just an old softie.

-When is it happening? Next week?

-When is it happening? Next week?

-

-On the 25th.

-So you're busy?

-So you're busy?

-

-You wouldn't believe it.

-You just wouldn't believe it.

-A lot of parties going on.

-Mind you, I've had to lie

-through my teeth.

-Not to your mother again!

-What have you told her that you do?

-She thinks I'm selling Tupperware!

-Well, you are selling plastic!

-A lot of plastic!

-Oh, Carys, stop it!

-I used to go out on St Dwynwen's

-Day with my partner.

-Huw and I, because we are two men...

-..everyone would stare at us

-as if we had two heads!

-We were the only couple in

-the restaurant who were two men.

-Everyone would stare

-and I'd just say "Hello"!

-We don't want you to misbehave

-on St Dwynwen's Day next week.

-I've forgotten what to do, Carys!

-Do you think I'd remember?

-I don't think you've ever forgotten,

-Joyce!

-What can you do.

-Are you on Viagra, Keith?

-She hasn't said

-that I've needed it just yet.

-Maggie hasn't said it yet!

-What exactly do you sell?

-Stuff from that woman,

-you know, Ann Summers.

-Oh, her stuff!

-It's taken off in Wales.

-Delivered to your door.

-Delivered to your door.

-

-No, I do parties.

-Oh, parties.

-Oh, parties.

-

-I model them, Donna.

-What are your bestsellers

-at the parties?

-Lingerie.

-That's what sells.

-Good old lingerie.

-Some of the women who buy it,

-well, they just shouldn't.

-Dear me!

-Have you ever seen love beads?

-They are very popular as well.

-What are they?

-I'm not sure what you do with them.

-Do you wear them around your neck?

-Do you wear them around your neck?

-

-Yes, like a pearl necklace.

-Really? Have you heard of them,

-Carla?

-Love beads.

-Love beads.

-

-No.

-Right then.

-Right then.

-

-Are you off, love?

-I'm Gough and I'm off.

-See you later.

-All right, love, get out of my pub.

-He's not all there, is he?

-He's not all there, is he?

-

-No.

-Bless him.

-S4C Subtitles by Testun Cyf.

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