Episode 2 Let's Play Darts

Let's get this darty party started. Let's Play Darts For Sport Relief!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Hello and welcome to The Lakeside, home of World Darts.

The third and fourth quarterfinals

of Let's Play Darts For Sports Relief.

Eight celebrities have teamed up with

eight professional darts players to take part in a unique tournament,

all in aid of Sport Relief.

I do hope the edge of your seat is comfortable

because you'll be perched there for quite a while.

So far, Greg Davies and Wolfie Adams are through to the semifinals,

where they'll meet our other quarterfinal victors

Mike Tindall and Scotty Mitchell.

With the remaining semifinal spots up for grabs,

it's tenser here than Jockey Wilson's knicker elastic.

Now, later on, Jon "the Lancashire Hotshot" Richardson

and Deta Hedman take on Kate "Wild Thing" Humble and Glen Durrant.

But before that, two more teams are preparing for battle.

Robbie "the Treble Maker" Savage and Bobby George, King of Bling,

versus Tim Vine, "the Punaway Train" and Darryl "the Dazzler" Fitton.

Let's find out a little bit more about them.

Not a bad try.

Yes! 100!

# Get in the middle of a chain reaction... #

Got to the finishing line, got hit in the eye by an apple seed, pipped at the post!

# Thieves keep a-thieving

# Whores keep a-whoring... #

Yes!

# Trade is on the meat rack

# Strip joints full of hunchbacks

# Bitches keep a-bitching

# Clap just keeps a-itching

# Johnny ain't so crazy

# He's always got a line for the ladies

# Yeah, yeah, yeah... #

# Shake 'em now now get 'em off downtown

# Get your rocks off

# Get your rocks off, honey

# Shake 'em now now get 'em off downtown... #

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

And here they are, Robbie and Bobby and Tim and Darryl,

and what a sofa that is, what a line-up that is.

Robbie and Bobby, it was like it was meant to be. Have you bonded?

Yes, we have.

Well, not quite.

I thought we had!

-I thought we had.

-Well, sort of.

-Robbie, you are genuinely a massive darts fan.

-Yes.

Grew up watching it all the time.

Yeah, you know, being here at The Lakeside is amazing,

you know, I think you tick every box as a sportsman -

you want to play in a World Cup final, I never did,

you want to play at a Champions League final, I never did,

you want to be at The Lakeside, I'm here,

with a legend and it's dreams, yeah.

Tim and Darryl, as last year's losing finalists,

we've invited you back for one more chance, but does losing still hurt?

-Oh.

-We've talked about it a lot, you and I...

-Yeah.

-..over the year.

I kept ringing you, inappropriately, for quite a long time afterwards.

We got the injunction, we got that all sorted.

-Yeah, yeah.

-But what has it taken to get you back up to the stage?

Well, it's taken an enormous amount of therapy,

a lot of time in a dark room

and the more we talk about it, the less I'm keen on doing it.

Can I leave?

Tim, I never thought I'd say this to a man,

-but you have an interesting dart party trick.

-I do.

I'd like to see it.

Well, I try and catch a dart behind my ear actually,

but, watch this. Here we go.

Hooray!

APPLAUSE

Listen, guys, whatever happens out there, it's going to be

a great sporting contest, I know you won't let it not be.

So, best of luck to all of you.

Now, as ever, our MC Little Richard Ashdown is standing by

to introduce the players.

So, put your phone on silent, whoever's calling will understand,

and Let's Play Darts For Sport Relief!

He's one of the all time legends of darts.

Lords, ladies and gentlemen, please be upstanding

for we are in the presence of royalty.

All hail the King of Bling, Bobby George!

APPLAUSE

MUSIC: We Are The Champions by Queen

# I've made a few

# I've had my share of sand kicked in my face

# But I've come through

# And we mean to go on and on and on

# We are the champions

# My friends

# And we'll keep on fighting till the end

# We are the champions

# We are the champions

# No time for losers

# Cos we are the champions of the world... #

APPLAUSE

He's a former Premier League footballer, turned TV pundit.

He's the man with the beautiful mane from the beautiful game.

Please give it up for Robbie "the Treble Maker" Savage!

# No-no-notorious

# Notorious... #

Hello!

# No-no-notorious

# No-notorious

# That's why I've done it again

# No-no-notorious

# Yeah, that's why I've done it again

# No-notorious... #

Ladies and gentlemen, don't look directly at him

unless you're wearing sunglasses.

The future's bright, the future's Fitton!

Prepare to be dazzled.

It's Darryl "the Dazzler" Fitton!

# One step beyond

# One step beyond. #

Ladies and gentlemen, he's the dart-slaying, word-playing,

crowd-whipping, fast-quipping, king of the one-liner,

it's Tim Vine "the Punaway Train"!

# Train I ride

# 16 coaches long

# Train I ride

# 16 coaches long

# Well, that long black train got my baby and gone

# Train, train

# Coming right round the bend... #

The first of tonight's quarterfinals is about to get under way,

and what a match it's set to be.

Guiding us through the action are Tony Green and Vassos Alexander,

who are joined by defeated quarterfinalist Katherine Ryan.

Let's get straight to the action.

First leg, it's Robbie to throw first. Game on!

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

BOOING

He kind of asked for the boos. He doesn't mind at all, Robbie.

We love you, Robbie!

Although chatting to him backstage, he is a little nervous.

Tim Vine, on the other hand,

has been desperate to get back on the Lakeside stage since he lost

the final of Let's Play Darts For Comic Relief 12 long months ago.

He's here for redemption, make no mistake.

Bobby George lost two World Championship finals on that stage,

but the pain he went through is nothing compared to how hurt Tim was

when he lost to his mate Lee.

140.

A solid 140 set the leg up for team Tim and Darryl.

Let's rejoin the leg with Robbie and Bobby needing 144 to take it.

Robbie can't finish - he's speeding up.

29. Tim you require 148.

Now, you wouldn't put it past him, two treble 20s and a double 14.

Tim's got a dart board at home,

-he really cares a lot and he wants to win.

-Hello!

-No question.

-Hello, Tim.

-Woo-hoo!

He's been training quite a bit.

Come on, Tim.

-81.

-No.

Bobby, you require 115.

It's at 95, so a treble 19.

Yes, double 19...

-Oh, one dead.

-83.

Not far away.

Darryl, you require 67.

Under pressure.

Darryl Fitton, treble 17 to start,

two darts at double eight for the first leg.

-That one?

-Yeah.

CHEERING

Tim and Darryl!

He means business too, Darryl Fitton.

Clean as a whistle.

Look at that.

Right in the middle of the bed as well.

Legs two and three were shared between the teams,

here's the fourth leg with Robbie to throw, trailing by 29 points.

-Great darts!

-Wow!

-Good darts.

-24.

Cover on the 18s as well. Let's pretend he meant it.

He did.

Guaranteed that, you can tell the way he threw it.

So, another one of those would help.

140.

Bobby, you require 115.

Treble 20, still leaves tops.

Good place to miss.

Yes, tops for Bobby George to level this quarterfinal.

-Oh!

-95.

-Unlucky, Bobby.

-Come on. Come on.

Tim, you require 40.

It's a biggun', get the train, get it moving.

-Big dart, Tim, big dart.

-This is...

-Double top.

You just know it's a pivotal moment in this match.

This is the one.

-Pulled it.

-Double 10.

Oh, look at that!

-It's gone.

-On the wire.

Bobby, you require 20.

Anyone's now.

-Double five.

-Not far away, you know, Robbie, double five.

One to go.

-Oh!

-No score.

Darryl, you require 40.

Surely, Darryl,

with your double finishes, you'll get this one.

Double 10.

Double five. You need them all.

-Oh!

-35.

Bobby, you require 20.

Double trouble all over.

Bobby George, to level at two legs apiece

has one more dart at double 10.

No score.

HE LAUGHS

You take one, double two.

-The Punaway train needs to make it happen.

-Yeah.

Yeah, and how. The tongue's out again.

I have been hitting it all night, so...

-He's gone replacement bus service on us all of a sudden.

-He has!

Double two would be divine.

Oh, unlucky.

Difficult now.

-One.

-Come on, son, have a go.

-It's anyone's, this.

-Robbie, you require 20.

You would not bet against Robbie hitting this double 10.

He couldn't be much closer without hitting.

CROWD: Robbie! Robbie! Robbie! Robbie! Robbie! Robbie!

They started booing him, and now he gets the biggest cheer of the night!

Robbie Savage!

Two legs apiece here at Lakeside, Robbie Savage with a winning double.

So, Robbie levels the match at 2-2.

Here's the next leg with the Treble Maker at the oche.

107 points behind.

Straight in the middle of the treble 20.

Oh, come on Robbie!

-You've hit a double!

-Don't stop!

Now hit a maximum. A 180.

It doesn't get better than that. He doesn't believe he'll do it.

CROWD: Robbie! Robbie! Robbie!

Come on, Robbie!

140.

-Still...

-Really good.

-A 140!

He just hit the winning double.

Yeah, it's got him right back into this leg.

60.

Well, he said the only way he could beat Tim and Darryl is if he got...

-Oh, what's the matter?

-..into Tim's head.

-He's put me off, throwing like that.

-45.

He said his darts could never beat him,

well, it's Robbie's darts doing the talking at the moment.

-Tim's got in his own head.

-Yeah!

It's blocked. He'll come down. And again, 18 surely?

Another leg, which is absolutely anyone's.

Good run, good finish that, 125.

Tim and Darryl onto a finish first.

43.

Tim, you require 125.

Or for the bull at 25.

16 from here.

-Treble 19 the shot.

-Lucky.

45.

-He knows his way around a dartboard, Tim Vine.

-Bobby, you require 154.

This will be great, can't now be done.

So, a chance to Darryl when he comes back to take out 80.

-100.

-Treble 20 and double 10.

Darryl, you require 80.

And he wants to do it in two darts, or two singles and a double.

It's blocked the 20 bed.

He's going to have get over that...

..to hit what they call big 20 R.

-Well, he's having no luck at all.

-40.

-Unlucky, Darryl, unlucky.

-40 get a four.

Robbie, you require 54.

Another chance for Robbie, he's the star at the moment.

-Oh, you're going your own way.

-He's hit the 11.

Double 17 the shot.

20.

Bad double is double 17. And here he comes.

Tim, you require 40.

-Double top.

-Come on, Tim.

Double 10.

You can just see the pressure etched on his face.

Come on! Come on!

Tim and Darryl!

Woo-hoo!

Choo-choo!

Is the Punaway Train unstoppable?

With that kind of finishing, he just might be.

It's 3-2. Here's the sixth leg, with Tim at the oche,

hoping to take a chunk out of 361.

Looking so deliberate.

Woo-hoo!

-Oh, yes!

-121.

He's back, this is what we saw last year, and all four of these players

have just lost themselves in the match,

in the pure sport of it, up on the Lakeside stage.

I think, Katherine, you did a little bit

towards the end in your match too.

I didn't want to let Andy down,

he was playing so well carrying the team.

70.

APPLAUSE

Never made the most of that, but it's a finish, 170.

81!

Come on, Tim, go for it.

Tim, you require 170.

Two treble 20s and the bull, you can do it.

Oh.

100.

So, 285.

It's a long way to go.

-84.

-He's sped up again.

Darryl, you require 70.

They do have six darts, should they need them, from 70.

20 for double 16, or 12 for tops, for a 4-2 lead.

30.

Darryl and Tim know, but they'll be back.

Yeah, but this is where...

the nerves have come in, promise you.

Bobby's had no luck in this game.

-55. Tim, you require 40.

-Here we go.

It's double top.

-It's game!

-Game!

Come on!

Woo-hoo!

Yes, you can get on the train. Keep chugging.

Seventh leg, it's Robbie to throw first.

Next stop, the semifinals.

Tim Vine savaging his opponents with his finishing.

Here's the seventh leg with Tim at the oche, trailing by nine points.

Well, it's Tim that's done the damage, his scoring, finishing.

He's come alive, hasn't he?

Well, it's magic.

It's either Robbie or Tim doing well, but not both at the same time.

85.

Steady scoring from the pros.

Here goes Darryl the Dazzler.

Switch.

Might switch again.

-Yes.

-93.

CHEERING

Terrific final dart there.

And for the treble 18.

-41.

-And they have a big advantage now,

Tim and Darryl, as they edge towards the semifinals.

43 ahead.

-Oh, I'll have that.

-Oh, that's OK.

76.

Mention the treble 12, Darren's pleased with it and so was Tim.

Won't be in the George camp, though.

85.

Bobby's not had the best of nights.

CHEERING

He'll want to take a chunk out of 177 and he's doing just that.

Oh...

So single 17, this shot here.

-Yeah.

-137.

It's set up for Tim to throw the winning double

and look at him in the background - absolutely intent.

-Thoughts only...

-26.

..on the red bit at the very top of the dartboard.

This is for a place in the semifinals

for a third winning double in a row.

So three double 16.

-Oops.

-Oh, that's...

-Well, he missed the big three.

-That's all right.

-That was careless.

-He's coming back, Tim there.

-Non-score, yep.

Oh, I've done it again.

And again. I better go downstairs, here.

-Best double on the board, they say.

-11.

LAUGHTER

Still enjoying it, anyway. That's the main.

-Darryl, you require 32.

-Well, he's not left to finish, so...

-Double 16.

-No pressure at all for a place in the semifinals.

One, two.

Two 16s for Darryl Fitton.

Ooh, Darryl.

Can he squeeze one in?

AUDIENCE GROANS

No score.

It should be called something like the hammock.

-Well, it is now.

-Should be allowed.

Unlucky.

81.

CHEERING

Tim, you require 32.

OK, Tim, it's down to you.

Double 16.

-Yes.

-Come on!

CHEERING

Tim Vine and Darryl Fitton!

INDISTINCT

Look at that.

What a picture for that man.

He loves his darts and he's loving this.

You rarely see celebrations like that

when people win the world title.

Robbie pushing Tim all the way there,

but before we analyse the action with all the players,

please remember, everyone is here for a very special reason -

to help raise money for Sport Relief.

Jason Manford travelled to Ghana to see how your generosity

can be life-changing.

Take a look at this.

Across some of the poorest parts of Africa,

there are 390 million people living without access

to clean water facilities,

and waterborne diseases, such as diarrhoea,

is one of the leading causes of death in under-five-year-olds here.

For Memenatu, who lives in Northern Ghana,

it's a story she knows all too well.

IN HER OWN LANGUAGE:

Something as simple as not having somewhere clean to

wash your hands means that there are thousands

of children growing up at a constant risk of illness.

But not just that - for them, it is a life-threatening situation.

But with your help...

..we can change that.

Thanks to a brilliant local project you fund through Sport Relief,

children are given access to these - Tippy Taps,

a cheap and hygienic foot-operated way of dramatically reducing

the transmission of life-threatening diseases such as diarrhoea.

But there are still many children who are at risk.

£5, what's that?

Two pints in Manchester. Half a pint in London.

But you get my point - out here, it could help provide ten families

with somewhere clean to wash their hands,

which could help prevent deadly illnesses and save lives.

To make a donation, text the word DARTS to 70005 to donate £5,

or to donate £10, text DARTS to 70010.

Your money really can transform lives. Thank you.

Now here they are, straight off the Lakeside stage,

Robbie and Bobby, Tim and Darryl and our resident expert, Tony O'Shea.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Just...wonderful stuff,

Tim, congratulations, Darryl, congratulations.

It looked like it was going to be the runaway train,

but Robbie became a man possessed.

Exactly, he certainly did.

Let's take you back to some of your key moments.

When you needed to make it two-all with the double 10.

-'It was very nerve-racking, I must say.

-It is.

'Very nerve-racking. Obviously that lady enjoyed it.'

LAUGHTER

'So was that,

'was that the kind of high point for you of the whole experience, there?

'I must say, it was the crowd.'

It really was, it was just the atmosphere and people cheering

you on and this legend here. I've played with Bobby George...

-Thank... Oh.

-..at the Lakeside, you know.

-Lovely.

Tim, let's take you to that moment, though, to make it 3-2.

DART THUDS

'Who's playing the drum?'

LAUGHTER

CHEERING

That's what it means to you.

Darryl, did you think at some point there, early on in that game,

were you thinking, "Hang on a minute, where's me old mucker gone?"

Yeah, once he got into it, I think once he got his double top he had a

little bit more confidence and then

he started to play really well, then.

So the sixth leg, he was the better player of the two of us, so.

Well, that was a typical - as a football phrase -

that was a game of three halves, that game.

LAUGHTER

Darryl played really well, the first half,

Robbie came right back, played well,

But Tim killed five, six and seven, then, and hit about five, six tons

and looked the player that we know he is, really.

Your checking-out was sublime today, Tim.

Well, eventually, I mean, honestly, to begin with

I just felt...

like I wasn't there at all so I was pleased it ended the way it did.

'Better, I suppose, to do that at the end of the match

'than the beginning.'

-Come on!

-CHEERING

Relief for Tim, he's going to be in yet another semifinal.

Relief, Robbie, that you don't have to do that again or would you like to have another crack?

I'd love to come back next year and lose again in the first round.

LAUGHTER Do you want some stats?

-You want to know what your three-dart average is?

-Yes, please.

Tim, 50.78 today.

Robbie, 44.53.

That's something to take away with you.

44's not a bad average. As we said before the game,

if you average 50, you've got a chance.

-So you didn't have a chance?

-No.

LAUGHTER

We loved having you here

and Bobby, we always love having you back, of course,

but congratulations, Darryl and Tim.

That really was fine work out there.

So, the question is, can anyone stop The Punaway Train?

Tim and Darryl are through, but sadly for Robbie and Bobby...

-Whoo-whoo.

-..they've reached the end of the line.

In a few moments, Jon "The Lancashire Hotshot" Richardson

and Deta Hedman will be stepping onto the stage along with

Kate "Wild Thing" Humble and Glen Durrant.

But before they do, time for a history lesson.

If you thought that the game of darts was

only as old as the board in your local pub, you're in for a surprise.

Since the dawn of time, man has always had the urge...to throw.

And so a game was born.

A game that continued to evolve throughout the ages.

Loved by all, from peasants to kings.

Anne Boleyn gifted Henry VIII with a set of darts.

A game not without risk.

Blowpipes discarded after a string of fatalities

caused by sucking.

-There were times of controversy.

-Order!

Darts was banned for being "a game of chance".

If I can hit a score of 180,

I will prove to the court that darts is a game of skill.

CHEERING

I now declare darts...

a game of...

skill!

The nation rejoiced as darts was once again

played in pubs across the country.

'Darts is a game of skill,

'so the cops can't stop it, see?

'And now it's darts for the duchess. The toffs has caught onto the idea.

Class boundaries were shattered when the Queen Mother

was photographed playing darts...

in Slough.

Known as "the people's game", popularity soared.

Yes!

Champions and legends were born.

Jocky Wilson!

Standing shoulder to shoulder, they've become giants amongst men.

The championship, Trina Gulliver.

The evolution of darts.

We've come so far.

Right, you need double top to win the game.

HE GRUNTS

Well, kind of.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

So there's just one more place remaining in our semifinals

and two teams are chomping at the bit to make their mark.

Let's find out all about them.

MUSIC: Lion by Eugene McGuinness

All I ask is just put the cutlery away however you like, as long

as it's forks on the left, knives in the middle, spoons on the right.

LAUGHTER

You're going to be a fighter, aren't you?

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Welcome, all of you, to the fabulous velvet sofa of hope, I'm calling it.

And Jon, let's get to you first.

Tell me about how training has been going with Deta.

Er, Deta's advice to me this morning was,

"Just aim for the bull's-eye and then you'll always hit the board,"

and "You could do with another two inches."

LAUGHTER

Correct.

So I've been working on that.

I'll be aiming for the middle of the board

and I'll be trying to grow during the match.

And Kate, how is the darts going?

Well, erm, "sporadic" would be a good word, don't you think, Glen?

Oh, better than that.

He's very generous. He also hasn't really been watching.

Yeah, sporadic's quite good, actually.

LAUGHTER

And Jon, have you got a message for them,

the Lakeside ladies who are no doubt going to be supporting you today?

Well, I've come dressed as one, er...

LAUGHTER

I've gone full blouse so I'm just hoping...

Stand up for us, Jon, and just show us how you're wearing your...

your costume.

I mean, I've been stitched up there, haven't I?

I sent my measurements in

and I've been given a shirt for an adult male.

LAUGHTER

Everybody else lets theirs just hang out.

I mean, I can let it hang out if you like, but you'll get complaints.

There's so many euphemisms in your chat, it's unbelievable.

Well, you don't even know about my split shaft.

LAUGHTER

Split a shaft in training.

Tell us more, tell us more.

Well, on Saturday I, erm...split my shaft.

I had to get some shafts delivered this morning

and we don't know how they'll be.

-So you've got new shafts?

-I'm working with a new shaft.

How did you...how did you split your shaft?

I pounded a...

LAUGHTER

I pounded another barrel into the back of it

and it just, just split wide open.

It happens.

Sport Relief!

-Hey!

-LAUGHTER

Enjoy yourselves, have a great time up there...

-Thanks, Gabby.

-Thank you.

-..and may the best team win.

Now, remember, you can get involved in Sport Relief, too.

Go to the website - on the screen right now - to learn more

and you can also download a Let's Play Darts sweepstake poster,

and find out where to buy this season's must-have accessory -

this, the Sport Relief trolley token.

Don't you dare be seen without one.

So all that's left for me to do is hand over to our MC,

Little Richard, who's ready and waiting to introduce the players.

She's a true great of the game with hundreds of titles to her name,

with a smile that lights up the Lakeside,

give it up for Deta "The Dark Destroyer" Hedman!

CHEERING

MUSIC: Hot, Hot, Hot

Wah-hey!

Hello, my darling.

Whoo-hoo!

He's a star of 8 Out Of 10 Cats

and one of the nation's favourite stand-ups,

he's used to the sound of laughter,

but tonight all he wants to hear is 180,

it's Jon "The Lancashire Hotshot" Richardson.

CHEERING

MUSIC: Big Bad John

He's the world masters champion and a world number one,

all the way from sunny Middlesbrough

no-one does it quite like Duzza - it's Glen "Duzza" Durrant.

MUSIC: Papa's Got a Brand New Pigbag

She's a TV presenter known for shows about nature,

but when it comes to darts, let me tell you, she's an animal.

Let me hear you roar for Kate "Wild Thing" Humble.

CHEERING

MUSIC: Wild Thing

SHE ROARS

Whoo-hoo!

Let's head straight to the commentary box

where Tony Green and Vassos Alexander

are ready and waiting along with Greg Davies.

So, Vassos, how does this match look on paper?

Gabby, to be honest, we have no idea and that is exactly how we like it,

we have the world number one

against the world number one,

we have Jon against Kate,

and both have been practising hard.

If it's anything like

the first three quarterfinals,

we're in for a treat.

First leg, it's Jon to throw first.

Game on!

Here we go, then,

the last of the quarterfinals,

Let's Play Darts For Sport Relief.

"The Lancashire Hotshot" gets us under way.

He does have a dartboard at home,

unlike Kate who's a bit newer to the oche

but she's hoping her...her general will to win will see her through

and so far so good, these are decent darts.

Year after year comes to Lakeside as the top seed.

Glen Durrant a semifinalist,

really popular player, brings lots of fans down from the northeast

whenever he appears at the world championships.

And look at that, straight into his darts.

-Three good darts for a ton now.

-Good lad!

-Too serious.

Greg, you're watching this one with us

and I'll just leave this one with you.

Jon says his darting strength

is that he doesn't throw his darts too hard.

-OK.

-I love you, Jon!

I don't know whether that's the case.

I would say Jon's darting strength is,

he baffles people with how short he is.

He's actually 4'3" tall. I don't whether you know that statistic.

With the first leg of the fourth quarterfinal under way,

let's rejoin the leg with Deta and Jon in a bit of trouble.

Deta always has a lovely little smirk on her face -

it's like she knows she's going to win.

-Very fluid throw from Deta, isn't it?

-Yeah.

-Glen, you require 14.

-It's poetry.

So double seven for the first leg, first of five, remember,

through to the semifinals, three double two he'll go.

-Glen!

-Thank you(!)

Double two, it's going in, I know it is.

-Come on, Jon, you can do this.

-Not an easy job.

Jon, you require 122.

-OK.

-You can do this.

CHANTING

Yeah, good thinking, treble 18 leaves the board.

Unlucky.

-Kate, you require four.

-Lovely calm demeanour - Jon.

OK, Kate. Kiss me quick, it's double two.

-No score.

-No score, my dear.

Deta, you require 96.

So 96, good out shot.

Treble 19, oh, just a fraction, could have been double 19.

Glen, you require 4.

Eventually someone's going to hit a double here

and will it be Glen and will it be now?

-Yes.

-Yes, it will.

Game shot and the first leg - Kate and Glen.

Give us a roar! Rrrr!

CROWD ROARS

Glen and Kate took the next two legs to secure a 3-0 lead.

Let's rejoin the match at the start of the fourth.

Come on, Kate!

SHOUTS OF ENCOURAGEMENT

In you go.

Well, I tell you what, he's hit the doubles when he's needed to.

-I'm untucking the shirt, I'm untucking the shirt.

-60%

top half percentage, but what's this?

This could be a significant moment in this match -

-his shirt has become untucked.

-This is a mistake.

The towel is still there, mind you.

Look, look, what it's done,

this has messed with his whole ecosystem.

I know. I was going to say that - tuck it back in.

-Tuck it back in.

-Tuck it back in.

Get the creases back.

-Next it's the trousers coming off.

-No!

WHISTLING

With Jon's wardrobe malfunction now sorted,

let's rejoin the fourth leg

with Glen at the oche, trailing by 54 points.

Good marker.

And again.

That's the one.

Deta, you require 136.

OK.

Two treble 20s

and a double eight, no, can't now finish.

The wrong side of that wire

and straying into the treble five for the first start, so...

And I didn't want that.

-Kate, you require 90.

-Go for it, Kate.

Go on, Kate!

Treble 18 the shot.

So intense.

Go on, Jon.

-There's another thing here which I quite liked...

-Jon, you require 44.

..about Jon, he likes to set himself

goals while playing darts at home, such as,

"I won't let myself go to the loo till I hit treble 20."

And that's the reason I never

-play darts with Jon Richardson.

-Unlucky Jon.

-Glen, you require 73.

It's a messy business.

I'm leaving the commentary box.

Come on, Tony. Hang on in there.

-Oh!

-Double top.

-OK, Deta.

-Deta, you require 40.

This is...must hit the red bit at the top of the board.

-Two 10s.

-This 10's going in.

CHEERING

Yeah, we got one over here! Yeah!

We got one on the board!

So Jon and Deta claw a vital leg back to make it three-one.

Let's join the fifth leg with Glen at the oche on a possible check-out.

Glen, you require 106.

This should be a finish here.

Double 16 for a four-one lead.

Oh!

I know you can get this, Jon. Go on. Go on, Jon.

Jon, you require 4.

Richardson, shirt tucked up in, clean hands.

CHANTING

They all want you to get it, Jon.

Oh, it's not far away, is it?

He's kind of blocked the bed.

Oh!

Unlucky.

That is genuinely unlucky.

Kate, you require 16.

-This is the one.

-Come on, Kate.

-Double eight, girl.

-This is the one.

-Oh!

-No score...

-Yeah, that's 16.

-16, double eight.

-Come on!

-..unfortunately.

-Bend the rules a little bit.

Deta, you require 4.

This is it, Deta.

CHANTING

Oh, double one.

Surely?

No.

-No, no, no, so...

-Oh!

Glen, you require 16.

..will Glen make her pay for that?

I reckon he will.

Reaching the doubles.

Well, he was.

-Needs double four.

-Double four.

-Oh.

-He's got the marker.

Oh!

And I tell you what, with every missed double,

-the tension in here...

-Jon, you require four.

..just ratchets up a little notch.

Jon, not even bothered

to wipe his hands this time.

-Oh.

-That was in before it was miles away.

LAUGHTER

Oh.

Go in that one there.

Kate, you require eight.

OK, Kate, don't leave it late.

Such focus.

Oops!

It's there, double four, it's shining.

I told you to wear body armour.

Oh, where's that gone?

Oh!

No-one likes going for double one.

Can I just say "the madhouse"

-just cos it makes me feel like a proper commentator?

-Yep.

She's in the madhouse, Tony.

-Tony, she's in the madhouse.

-OK, I've got it.

-All right.

Deta, you require four.

Oh, my God.

I don't think I want it.

LAUGHTER

Game shot on the fifth leg, Deta Hedman.

So the fightback continues

as Jon and Deta make it 3-2.

Kate to throw first.

We join the sixth leg with Glen at the oche

and just seven points the difference.

Be on a finish after these three.

Yeah, he seems to have got his focus back.

When he's missing, it's not by much.

He finishes, 122.

I am... I am definitely a man, I'm definitely a man.

LAUGHTER

I'm sort of in the middle.

MORE LAUGHTER

-Oh, Hedman.

-Kate, you require 152.

She hasn't left the finish.

It's incredible what they've done with the camera, cos Jon

looks almost as tall as Deta there, but he is 4'2", just to remind you.

4'2" tall.

SHOUTS OF ENCOURAGEMENT

I don't know if you heard that cry, "Humble don't crumble."

So many great catchphrases for Kate Humble.

-Oh, well done.

-Glen, you require 89.

Here we go.

Treble 20 for double five.

-A single 20 leaves the bull's-eye.

-Full.

-Yes!

-Always nice to see a bull finish.

That is awesome and, amazingly, he's gone into robotics.

No-one was predicting the robotics. CHEERING

He's tucked his shirt in

-now he's doing the robot.

-It's Jon to throw first.

-I mean, that's not a trademark move, is it?

-Game on.

-No, it's not. It's not.

-It is now.

4-2 the score, then, and it's the first to five.

Here's the next leg with Scotty Mitchell watching on.

Scotty Mitchell.

Bought his father a tractor out of his winnings.

Who...who bought his father a tractor?

-Scott did when he won the world title.

-Did he?

-Yeah.

Ah! What a lovely boy.

That is lovely.

I'm going to buy my mum a rotavator if I win. I can't afford a tractor.

I guarantee if I win, I will be buying my mum

something for the garden, though.

Something mechanised. Back to the darts.

Deta, you require 151.

-Come on, Deta.

-Yeah, she's...

sort of needs this.

Match point down.

-Yes.

-It's possible.

Treble 17 for tops, this would be something.

-Oh!

-Unlucky.

Match point, then.

-Glen, you require 52.

-Glen Durrant.

-Come on, Duzza.

-I don't think he'll miss this. He wants it.

-Thank you.

-He needs it.

Options...

Double eight.

-Oh, dear.

-One dart.

No.

Still continues.

There's Glen.

-That's not Glen. Sorry, Tony.

-Come on, Tony.

-I don't want to overrule...

-Concentrate.

I don't want to overrule you, mate.

It's definitely not Glen.

-Is that 42?

-42, yes.

-You got four, girl.

-Oh, dear.

-Looks angry.

-We don't want to see ugly scenes like that.

Kate, you require eight.

It's for charity, guys.

-Are all those...

-Eh?

Be nice if Kate finished this off.

Double four, that's not far away.

It's not far off.

-Unlucky 13.

-Deta, you require 60.

To stay alive in the match, she should have two darts at double top.

Come on, Deta.

There's the big 20.

Here it comes.

Tops, she needs.

Oh!

-Tops, she doesn't get.

-Deta!

-Go on, Glen.

-Come on, Glen.

-Glen, you require eight.

I think it's the last one!

That might be it, because this double four is for the match.

Marker's there.

Game...shot...and match - Kate Humble and Glen Durrant.

-Yeah!

-Glen and Kate march on to the semifinals.

Well played, Jon. Well played, Deta.

I tell you what you've got a great job, gents, I love it up here.

You're welcome any time.

And I don't want to be arrogant, I think I nailed it.

A fantastic sporting spectacle but before we find out what went right

and what went wrong for the players,

here's a film that shows why your support

is so vital to hundreds of Sport Relief projects here at home.

50% of the money raised is spent in the UK.

So take a look at one way that your donation can make a real difference.

Adolescence can be a very confusing time in life

with so many pressures and challenges to face.

This is Isabelle. She's 19 years old.

When I was 11, I found self-harming and it just started off

with, you know, just, like, a pair of scissors in break time.

When I was in secondary school, it would be self-harming every day.

So what's been the worst time for you?

When did you hit absolute rock bottom?

When I had felt like it was all too much.

I was terrified because I knew I was going to take it a step further.

In your mind, you're telling yourself

you don't want to live on this earth and you are taking the decision

to act upon that and you're taking your own life.

-ISABELLE SNIFFS

-Are you OK?

Um...

Thankfully, for Isabelle, a project funded by Sport Relief

has been helping her to get the vital care and support

she so desperately needs.

We're here to support young people who self-harm

and we do that through counselling,

peer support groups

and mentoring and really it's about keeping them safe.

A centre like this provides a lifeline for girls like Isabelle.

£10 could enable a vulnerable young woman in the UK

who's self-harming to attend a support group.

Please text and give what you can. Your support can be life-changing.

And now, here to talk through that great match we just saw,

it's Kate and Glen, Jon and Deta and our darts supremo Tony O'Shea.

CHEERING

Congratulations, Kate and Glen. That was a fantastic start from you.

I really thought, "She has been completely hoodwinking us.

-"She's been hiding her light under a bushel."

-I think, you know,

-Glen really couldn't have done it without me.

-It's all about Kate.

He couldn't have done it without you.

We could have crumbled without Humble.

-There was quite a lot of crumbling out there.

-Yeah, there was.

You know, I have to be honest, I've watched darts and just think,

"All you do is drink beer and do that." It's quite hard, isn't it?

It's quite technical too.

-I don't drink beer, so it's all right.

-Oh.

And I weren't that good.

She's got a new-found respect for you, Deta,

and you can see what it meant to you.

Shall we have a little look at Glen's check-out in leg one

and your reaction, Kate, here.

Game shot and the first leg...

Give us a roar! Rrrr!

Yeah, and you can look at that and think, "Oh, I never..."

Yes, you did, actually, because when Deta checked out,

in leg four, have a look at yourself, Jon, here.

Aww!

What came over you there, Jon?

-Yeah.

-That was just one of your inches going there.

If I'd had two inches, I'd have kissed you.

Tony, you said something really interesting to me during that match.

From behind, Jon looked like a darts player.

To be honest, his stance, his actual throw...

looks like a real darts player until you see where they end up

on the board which was a bit unfortunate, but...

-You've got the stance, you've clearly got the demeanour...

-Yeah.

..you, you know, you were quite kind of icy up there,

you seemed to compose yourself and stay focused.

If there's one thing that experience has made me think,

it's that if I ever see a dart again, it'll be too soon.

This is the worst game. I'm never coming back to the Lakeside,

it's been the worst day of my life and I don't care what I look like

-from behind, you know, from...

-We do.

..from behind, I look like an incredible basketball player,

you know, if you're far enough away I look like a super model.

So, then, for 4-2, Glen, when you were really in control

and you checked out and we saw something a little bit different

from you in your celebration.

Fantastic check-out and it deserved...

I'm just looking for the Strictly Come Dancing contract,

that's all I was looking for.

If you're watching, Bruce Forsyth, I am available.

He no longer hosts it, but I'll tell him anyway.

Who hosts it?

Tony, the semifinal line-ups, now we know who they are

and these guys here, Glen and Kate,

are going to face Tim and Darryl.

That's going to be a tough order

isn't it, for them, to conquer?

Well, it could be down

to the celebrities that decides the game.

The two players are going to be playing well. It's up to you guys.

Well, guys, it's just been brilliant entertainment watching you.

Thank you so much, Tony, as well

and remember you can still text to donate and do your bit for

Sport Relief but for now what an evening of darting action it's been.

The Wild Thing has tamed Lakeside,

and Kate and Glen have taken the last of our semifinal places.

Sadly, for Jon and Deta they must be released back into the wild.

And so, ladies and gentlemen, we have our semifinalists.

Next time, we'll see

two sure-to-be-smashing semis

where Greg Davies and Wolfie Adams

take on Mike Tindall

and Scotty Mitchell,

and Tim Vine and Darryl Fitton

go toe to toe with

Kate Humble and Glen Durrant.

It promises to be quite the night.

It's going to be epic, like Game Of Throws. Good night.

CHEERING

Such focus. Next stop, the semifinals.

# Can we go back?

# This is the moment

# Tonight is the night

# We'll fight till it's over

# So we put our hands up like the ceiling can't hold us

# Like the ceiling can't hold us

# Can we go back?

# This is the moment

# Tonight is the night

# We'll fight till it's over

# So we put our hands up like the ceiling can't hold us

# Like the ceiling can't hold us. #